Impossible
by PerfectPride
Summary: Hermione/Bellatrix pairing. Bellatrix abducts Hermione and keeps her prisoner, but an ancient magic threatens to change both their lives in ways they never thought were possible.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Impossible

**Author:** perfect_pride

**Pairing:** Hermione/Bellatrix

**Rating:** Mature

**Disclaimer:** It goes without saying that none of the Harry Potter world or its' characters belong to me, unfortunately. Neither do the lyrics.

**Warnings:** Mental and physical abuse/torture.

**Summary:** Bellatrix abducts Hermione and keeps her prisoner, but an ancient magic threatens to change both their lives in ways they never thought were possible.

**A/N:** This fic is set during the summer months at the start of Deathly Hallows and complies with the events in the book. The timeline has been slightly adjusted at the start but it is barely noticeable. It takes into account events from the books and the films, but mainly the books as they are my favourite and provide greater detail. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (film) wasn't considered as I wrote this beforehand and I feel like the scenes I have written and slotted into the book version work better. I hope that makes sense, if not, please ask. Also, I have tried to keep the characters in-character despite the unlikely pairing. Feedback is welcome. :)

* * *

**Impossible**

_Chin don't start to quiver_

_Hands now don't you shiver_

_Gotta keep myself from breaking down_

_Someone get me out_

_Someone let me out_

_ Sinead Quinn, Breakdown_

* * *

_**1.**_

In hindsight, Hermione would have been far better off had it been Lord Voldemort himself who had captured her. Most likely, he would have mocked, humiliated and tortured her for only a few days at most before he realised that Harry wasn't going to take the bait and save her. Distracted by more important matters, there would be a simple _Avada Kedavra_, and her life would end with a flash of electric green. The thought of this, no matter how horrific a death to suffer, didn't even come close to affecting Hermione in the same way as her current predicament.

Although she remained silent, Hermione was screaming her lungs raw inside of her chest, a constant noise vibrating through her ears that made it extremely difficult to think clearly. Over the years she had found herself in a great deal of tricky situations, and with luck, skill and talent, she had always managed to get herself out of them (with a little help from Harry and Ron, of course) even when it appeared to be a case of achieving the unachievable. Nevertheless, the fact remained that she had not been facing the impossible back then; just immensely difficult circumstances. It had dawned on her that this, here and now was the absolute definition of impossible.

She had no wand.

She had no weapon.

She had no friends to protect her.

_No Harry. No Ron._

Screw the legendary Gryffindor bravery; death suddenly seemed like the most appealing option in the world.

* * *

Hermione didn't remember much of how her capture actually happened; she only remembered what she had been doing immediately before it occurred. Walking through the fields surrounding The Burrow had seemed like a good idea at the time, because as much as she loved Harry, Ron and his family, sometimes she just wanted to be on her own. As an only child she had always been used to entertaining herself, and even upon going to Hogwarts she had escaped to the deserted areas of the library or underneath the shade of a tree whenever she wanted time away from others; even if those individuals were people she loved. At present, she had been sharing a lovely, cosy home, but one that afforded little time to just muse and consider her own thoughts.

It had been stupid of her, she knew that now. She was already a target considering her friendship with Harry and the fact that she was a Muggle-born; so putting herself out in the open, beyond the boundaries of the protection that had been placed around The Burrow, where she would be easier to get to had been one of the worst ideas she had ever had. Her nonchalant_ it won't happen to me_ stance had earned her a one way ticket into the claws of Bellatrix Lestrange, said to be Voldemort's most faithful servant. As Ron would say, _"Bloody brilliant!"_

Of all the Death Eaters that could have caught her, Bellatrix was probably the most dangerous. She was a talented witch, capable of inflicting her powers on anyone and anything, not allowing morals to even enter the equation. It was like she didn't care about anything but Voldemort, and that made her far more dangerous than someone such as Wormtail who acted purely out of fear and self-interest. Bellatrix believed in what she was fighting for through and through, and Hermione wasn't sure there was anything in the world that would change that about her.

Stupidly, after the first crack of someone Apparating next to her, Hermione had failed to pull out her wand. Although she had jumped upon hearing the sound, she had assumed that it was Ron, Harry, or one of the other Weasley's who had decided to join her on her walk. Irritated, Hermione had spun around to insist that she be left alone; that this was her only "me time" and she wanted to enjoy it without the presence of another hindering it. _Silly, silly me._

By the time she realised that it was not Harry or Ron who had joined her, but was in fact Bellatrix Lestrange; it was too late. She gripped her wand, but barely had time to decide whether to attack or defend when she was disarmed, her wand removed from her possession silently with Bellatrix's apt use of a non-verbal spell. It was right about this moment that she started to panic; what would she do without a wand to defend herself? Desperate, she dropped to the ground, rolling sideward, and screaming at the top of her voice so as to draw attention to her predicament. If only she could make enough noise for one of her friends to come running, then it would all be ok. _Wouldn't it?_

"Where do you think you're going Mudblood? We've barely had a chance to get to know each other!" Bella shrieked, laughing madly.

Unable to even form a response in her mind, Hermione scrambled, concentrating on her attempt to get the hell out of the perilous situation and back to the relative safety of the Weasley home. She screamed continuously, hoping that someone would look out of the window and see what was happening before alerting the others so that everyone rushed to her aid before the Death Eater had a chance to kill her. Except now Bellatrix was coming closer, and instead of throwing curses at her, she had thrown herself over Hermione's body on the ground, preventing her from moving.

"Shhh, little one. There's no need to panic," Bellatrix whispered crazily in Hermione's ear, sending chills down her spine.

"HARRY! RON!" Hermione yelled, so loudly that she thought her voice box would burst with the pressure. "GET OFF!" She yelled at the Death Eater, not wanting to show any signs of fear despite the terror that was pounding in her chest.

There was a blow to her chest, and suddenly, Hermione found she was no longer capable of shouting. Winded, she panted for breath, trying to keep her head and her wits about her, knowing that her intelligence was the only attribute she possessed that may possibly get her through this. She looked around desperately, praying that by now someone had realised what was going on, but from what she could see there was no one in the house who had seen the events unfolding, from the window or elsewhere.

"Now, now ickle one, there's no need to fight this so much," Bellatrix said in a horrible, mocking voice. "You and I both know who is in control here."

Hermione knew, but that didn't mean that things couldn't change if she played her cards right. Allowing her body to go limp, she watched Bellatrix' eyes, observing when they widened in surprise at Hermione's sudden reluctance to defend herself. The very second that the expression on Bellatrix' face changed, Hermione pushed upwards with all her weight, throwing Bellatrix off her to the side. She twisted herself around and launched herself into the air, speeding as fast as she could through the fields, back towards safety.

"Mudblood bitch!" Bellatrix screeched. "You're not going anywhere!"

A nanosecond later, and Hermione felt as though she had just slammed into a brick wall, although there was only air surrounding her. Flying backwards, she landed on the floor, crying out as she smashed her head on the ground beneath her. As if that didn't cause enough pain, Hermione was then faced with Bellatrix slamming a knee down onto her torso, pinning her to the ground. "Don't ever try to defy me again, pathetic creature!" Bellatrix hissed, and Hermione felt a sharp pain in her right cheekbone as Bellatrix punched her in the face, her ring connecting with Hermione's skin and tearing it open.

She moaned, and immediately she felt the blood begin to trickle out, dripping down her cheek. If she wasn't so terrified she would have laughed; who would have known Bellatrix would be so good at Muggle moves such as punches and winding her with her knee? Hermione was just wondering if she could injure Bellatrix in a similar fashion, when she felt a jerk behind her navel, and panic enveloped her entirely. Horrified, Hermione realised she was Apparating, forced by Bellatrix and the nails on her hand that gripped her wrist.

Fear overwhelmed her as a dangerous situation was brought to a whole new level, one which Hermione had never before had the misfortune of experiencing. The cackle that Bellatrix gave echoed in and out as she span around, reminding Hermione of the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. But this wasn't fiction, this wasn't a dream; it was her life. For how much longer she would be allowed to live Hermione had no idea, but for the moment, this was the situation she had been thrust into and there wasn't even a Time-Turner on hand to influence the events that unfolded.

Coming to a stop, Hermione felt all of the breath leave her chest as she thudded to the floor of an unknown venue. For a moment she debated attempting to grab her wand back from Bellatrix, but upon catching sight of the murderous expression on the Death Eater's face, she thought differently. It was clear that she didn't stand a chance, and were she to do anything too hastily without thinking the consequences through, Bellatrix would most likely catch on and only make this encounter twice as painful. She would just have to bide her time and decide what her best hope of escaping was at another time when a more realistic opportunity presented itself.

_If_ a more realistic opportunity presented itself...

* * *

"Please," Hermione said, trying not to whimper. _"Please."_

"Please what?" Bellatrix taunted, dark eyes feral, pouting lips mocking her. "_Help me? Take me back? Let me go?_" She stood over Hermione, her long black dress flowing around her body and clinging to her curves in all the right places. It gave her an air of femininity when coupled with the laced black gloves that travelled up each of her arms. In contrast, her neck bore the number ninety-three Azkaban prisoner tattoo, drawing attention away from the fact she was a Pure-blood and highlighting the fact that she was a convicted Death Eater. Hermione was temporarily fixated on the tattoo, confronted with an awful visible reminder of the danger she was facing. As she lowered her eyes to Bellatrix's forearm and spotted the Dark Mark, the terror became fully fledged, and she bit back a scream in an attempt to remain calm.

"Just... just don't do whatever it is you're planning to do," Hermione said, trying to keep her voice steady. _Please don't torture me._ She was knelt down on the floor of a grand green and silver themed room, surrounded by expensive looking ornaments, portraits and a marble fireplace. It was these she focused on in an attempt to remain calm. Where exactly she was she had no idea; she only remembered that they had Apparated there, or rather, Bellatrix had Apparated and dragged Hermione with her.

"Well, I did give serious consideration to throwing _Avada Kedavra _at you," Bellatrix sighed. "But you know dearie... I think I'm going to keep you around. For a while at least."

Hermione felt bile rise up in her throat. _A while? _What did that even mean? Bellatrix had spent over fourteen years locked away in Azkaban; was that what she considered to be a while? If so, Hermione didn't think she could remain sane for all that time. In fact, should Bellatrix choose to use her as some sort of torture toy, there was definitely no way that she would have her sanity intact by the time the Death Eater was finished with her; not judging by what had happened to Frank and Alice Longbottom. Losing her mind was the worst thing that could happen to her, Hermione decided. A fate worse than death to be trapped in a useless body, reliant on others, unable to think the simplest of thoughts. _Oh Merlin._

Not able to bear asking Bellatrix why she was going to keep her prisoner, Hermione instead asked another question that she wasn't sure she really wanted to hear the answer to. "Why?"

Bellatrix shrugged. "Why not?"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak again, but was stopped by the stinging slap of a hand across her cheekbone; the same one that Bellatrix has already injured in the fields of The Burrow. She hissed in pain, her eyes screwed shut, but managed to stop herself from crying out. At this stage she was probably fairly calm purely due to the adrenaline running through her veins, but as soon as that wore out, hysteria was bound to kick in. The thought of never seeing her friends again was bad enough, though the idea of what she would have to go through whilst they no doubt looked for her without walking into a trap made her want to vomit on the spot. In fact, maybe she was starting to panic now because she felt her stomach churn and she couldn't stop herself from gagging at the mental images that flashed through her mind.

Unable to stop herself, she threw up the contents of her stomach, missing Bellatrix by a few mere inches.

"You disgusting little Mudblood," Bellatrix hissed at her, jumping backwards away from the vomit. "You're worse than an animal! Did your _Muggle_ parents not bother to teach you manners?"

"I couldn't... couldn't help it," Hermione managed to force out, and she shakily wiped her eyes, forcing back any tears that even thought about appearing. The mere mention of her parents had brought to the surface emotions that she had desperately tried not to think, and their faces swarmed her mind once more. The images that flickered like a broken light bulb inside her head were memories, some good, some bad. She thought of the times she had fallen and cut herself in the school playground as a child, and all the birthday parties she had been granted each time she grew a year older. She thought about her parent's expressions as she opened the letter from Hogwarts, their disbelief directed at Professor McGonagall who had personally hand delivered the letter, (such was the rule for all Muggle-born students not to simply receive their invitation to Hogwarts by Owl post) and their eventually coming to terms with the fact that Hermione was as special as they had always imagined her to be.

Hermione sniffed. Quite frankly, all she wanted to do right now was sob and run into her mother's arms in the way that she had whenever she was upset as a little girl._ So much for being brave, Hermione_, she told herself. Really, she should be grateful that Bella had yet to restrain her with magic or by any other means that she so chose. Eventually the time would come, she knew that much, but for the moment at least her hands were free. Not that there was anything to celebrate; with no wand and stuck in the home of a Death Eater, there was no way that she would ever overpower a talented witch such as Bellatrix.

It was terrible, but true. For all Bellatrix's faults, wrongs and craziness; she was an excellent witch. Her skills at defending herself were far better than Hermione's had ever been, and her duelling tactics were just as fantastic. Had she been fighting with the Order instead of for Voldemort, no doubt their chances of success against evil would greaten immensely.

Unfortunately, Hermione knew that even so much as suggesting this was likely to earn her a hearty dose of pain and suffering. Really, she was surprised that Bellatrix had managed to last this long already since they'd arrived in this new location; a measly slap was hardly enough to justify being named as pain. If Hermione ever wanted to get though this alive, she would have to stay strong and toughen up. No longer was she living during the days when the worst thing that happened to her was a scraped knee; now she was in way over her head.

"_Couldn't help it_," Bella mocked, revealing her decayed teeth. "Are you scared, Mudblood? Are you frightened that the big bad nasty Death Eater is going to get you?"

Hermione kept her mouth shut tightly, worried that she was going to vomit once more. Answering the question in her own head,_ yes_. She was bloody terrified, in all honesty. The chance of being found was close to zero; Harry and Ron wouldn't even know where to begin looking, and the Order would have things to deal with far higher than this on their list of priorities. She understood, of course she did, but that didn't mean she was happy about the fact that she was most likely going to die in immense pain.

"What exactly are you going to do to me?" she asked bluntly, when she trusted herself not to expel the remaining contents of her stomach.

Bellatrix laughed, and Hermione felt a shiver run deep within her bones. _This is not happening._

"Whatever I feel like," Bellatrix announced, twisting her wand around in her hands. "Play with you in every possible way I can think of. I won't inform you of the exact details... wouldn't want to spoil the surprise for your filthy blood."

"What do I have to do," Hermione began, taking deep breaths whilst staring at the floor and trying to remain calm. She could hardly believe what she was about to propose, but she knew it was the best she could hope for in this situation. "To get you to kill me right here, right now?"

She half expected Bellatrix to laugh again, but instead she was met by silence. When there was still silence a moment later, she forced herself to look up at the Death Eater. Bellatrix was staring down thoughtfully at her, her eyes no longer wild, but seeming to consider Hermione's words. A sear of hope rushed through Hermione. Maybe, just maybe, her wish would be granted. There would be a heavy price to pay, but she could do whatever was required. She just had to stay strong.

Finally, Bellatrix spoke. "You would rather die than wait for an opportunity, no matter how small the chance, to try and escape?"

"I'm nothing if not realistic," Hermione replied with trembling honestly. "There's no chance of escape; you'll have placed enchantments around this entire area to prevent apparition and I have no wand with which to defend myself or to break free. I know that at some point you're going to kill me, when you get bored or... or whatever. I would just rather not have to go through that. Besides, like you said... I'm a Mudblood. Why should I live?"

Bellatrix raised her eyebrows. "You're as smart as they say, aren't you?" She knelt down in front of Hermione, moving in towards her, dark eyes fixated on her own. "But I'm cleverer, and I know what you're trying to make me do. I _won't_. You are going to live here in Black Manor, experiencing every inconceivable idea that I invent and decide to inflict upon you. Starting now!"

There was no real warning for Hermione other than Bellatrix raising her wand. _"Crucio!"_

The last thing Hermione saw before she was unable to think any longer was a flash of red light, and then there was only agony. Every other feeling of pain that Hermione had felt in the past paled in comparison, from the time she had sliced her finger open with a bread knife to the time she stubbornly tried to prove she could fly just as well as the next Seeker to Harry and Ron and ended up crashing into a tree. This was a hellish, fiery torment that made her scream out loud and not even slightly concerned with trying not to show weakness in front of Bellatrix.

She didn't know how long it lasted, but no doubt it was far shorter than the hours it had felt like. Time didn't seem to exist when under the spell of the Cruciatus curse, for the sufferer could barely find themselves able to breath, let alone able to take note of how long they had had to endure it for. That was probably going to be something she would struggle to get used to; Hermione would not only have no control over what was happening to her but no way of monitoring the length of time it had been happening.

In short, this was the closest to hell on earth Hermione had ever felt.

Just when Hermione was thinking that it wasn't actually possible to feel any worse, Bellatrix leant towards her once more. "Don't think that's the only spell I have in store for you. There's plenty more where that came from and more." Grinning, she watched as the look of horror on Hermione's face intensified further.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Hermione asked, her voice quivering. "Is the fact that I'm Muggle-born really that awful?"

Bellatrix looked astounded that Hermione had dared to even ask such a question. "Do you really need me to answer that? Of course it is. You're _filth;_ lower than any other kind vermin or beast. You're unworthy of your magical status as a witch and if you had any decency you'd have renounced your place in the wizarding world the moment you discovered how pathetic your kind are."

Inexplicably, it was Bellatrix's proclamation that wounded Hermione far more than any curse could. The disgust in her dark, fiery eyes as she detailed her feelings on Muggle-borns cut Hermione deep, for it was one thing knowing that some wizards and witches thought it, and entirely different hearing it directed with such venom towards herself. Feeling the tears prick at her eyes, she desperately blinked them back. Hermione didn't want the crazed witch to see her defeated so completely; that would be her final undoing. For the Death Eater to know that she had reduced her captive to such a state that she bawled her eyes out would be entirely too mortifying to bear.

Although she managed to get the tears under control, her upset had not gone unnoticed by Bellatrix. Unfortunately. "Aww, did I make the ickle bitty Mudbaby cry?" she said scornfully. "Did you want a hug?"

Hermione was no fool; she knew that something bad, possibly just as horrible as the Cruciatus Curse was about to happen to her. Refusing to play up to Bellatrix's fears, knowing it would only excite the older witch further, she spat words that she very rarely used together. "Fuck you," she said as fearlessly as possible.

Laughing, Bellatrix revealed her blackened teeth and waved her wand regardless. Invisible binds tightened themselves around Hermione, causing her to fall backwards rigid, unable to move her body. Her face and neck however were still able to move, eradicating the possibility that this was a straightforward Petrificus Totalus curse and instead was another variation. Nevertheless, despite still having the ability to speak, Hermione kept silent, not wanting to scream, not wanting to provide any sort of satisfaction. As hard as it was, she tried to focus on the fact that she had to be strong enough to get through this, and that her suffering was all worth it for the greater good.

"What are you thinking about?" Bellatrix asked, evidently observing Hermione lost in her own thoughts.

"Nothing," Hermione lied. She wouldn't tell the maniac anything; not willingly at least.

"Hmm," Bellatrix mused. "You know, I am an accomplished Legilimens."

Hermione panicked. Bellatrix could see what she was thinking about. It would allow her to see things that herself, Ron and Harry knew about, like the Horcruxes. _No, don't think of them. No. No._ She had to close her mind somehow, and she desperately tried to recall how she had practiced after the horrible events at the Ministry when Harry had allowed false images to lead them there after Voldemort invaded his mind. It was just a case of...

_Nothing._ She couldn't think straight, not now when her mind was feeling fuzzy. Instead, she tried not to allow the fear to show on her face, hoping Bellatrix couldn't sense the terror within. In no way shape or form was this easy considering the churning in her belly at this very moment in time, but she supposed that as the hours, days, weeks and months (she would not allow herself to consider it being years for she wasn't_ that_ courageous) went on it would become more straightforward and would turn into a routine.

"I'm going to go and prepare your room," Bellatrix said out of the blue, changing the topic. "You can wait here." She smirked, knowing full well that with the Body-Bind Curse placed upon her, Hermione was incapable of doing anything but squirming back and forth on the floor beneath her. Her head felt funny all of a sudden too, and she tried desperately to fight the strange sensation.

Bellatrix walked across the room, pausing when she got to the door. Turning around, she addressed Hermione once more. "And if I were you, Mudblood, years would be the least of your concerns. If I have my way, you'll be here for the rest of your lifetime."

Realising that Bellatrix had just performed highly skilled Legilimency on her without her even being fully aware of her breaking into her thoughts, Hermione began to shake violently. She faced the other direction, and the moment she heard Bellatrix's rapid footsteps fade away, she vomited once more. Never before had she felt quite so alone. Previously, whenever anything had gone wrong she had never been on her own for longer than a few seconds, and now she had no choice but to survive this without anyone on her side, let alone her friends and family. It wasn't that she wanted them to be captured too, of course not, but she couldn't help wishing she had someone with her for moral support, no matter how selfish that sounded.

Regardless, Hermione was certain that there was a more pressing matter at hand that she had to deal with. She _had_ to practice Occlumency. If Bellatrix chose to invade her mind to discover what she had been doing with Harry and Ron to prepare for their fight against Voldemort... well it didn't bear thinking about. Bellatrix would discover secrets and truths that had been spoken against her Master, and she would immediately alert him as to what exactly she had found out. It was a shame that Hermione had never been taught exactly what was involved to employ Occlumency, but fortunately she knew enough from reading books and speaking to Harry about his experiences to get the gist of what was required.

Figuring there was no time like the present, Hermione began clearing her mind. It was easier said than done; her head was spinning, her thoughts swirling around as though they had actually been contained in a Pensieve within her skull, and her heart was slamming against her chest so violently that it felt like it was going to break through her ribcage and tear her apart. _Time to focus, time to learn_.

Making a poor attempt at calming herself, Hermione closed her eyes.

_Calm. Stay calm._


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the reviews... I appreciate them a great deal. I hope you all continue to enjoy the fic and like this chapter as much as the previous one!

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_I wish could tie you up in my shoes_

_Make you feel unpretty too_

_I was told I was beautiful_

_But what does that mean to you?_

_TLC, Unpretty_

* * *

_**2.**_

Hermione was thrown into an underground basement (or dungeon, she wasn't sure what to call it) not long after. She was placed in a fairly small space with rusty metal bars that looked as though it were supposed to be a cell. The gap between each of the bars was far too small for Hermione to even consider escaping, she noted with disdain. To top things off, there was absolutely no furniture whatsoever within the cell meaning that she would be forced to sleep on the cold, hard, stony floor. There were cobwebs in the corners, holes in the wall, and there was a draft coming from the ventilation system high up above her head. These features of the cell alone were enough to make Hermione want to scream, but when she realised there was a bucket in the corner and what she would have to use it for, she felt herself welling up once more.

Now that the body binds had been removed, Hermione seated herself against the wall, her head in her hands. "This can't be happening," she whispered to herself.

"Accommodation not up to your usual standards? I'd have thought it'd receive an O grade from filth such as yourself," Bellatrix drawled.

"I wouldn't expect anyone to live somewhere like this. Even you and your_ friends _when you were in Azkaban deserved more," Hermione retaliated. She genuinely meant what she said; no one should have to deal with living in squalor, no matter what they had done. Even though Bellatrix was evil. Even though she was a Death Eater. Hermione was nothing if not a Human Rights Advocate for Muggles and Wizards alike.

For a moment, Bellatrix looked surprised, before she said uncertainly, "You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do," Hermione said courageously, even though her very bones were shaking. "I don't believe in treating any living creature in such an inhumane way. _Everyone_ deserves better than this."

Raising her eyebrows, Bellatrix said wryly, "Well unfortunately for you, I don't share the same sentiments." She took a few steps backwards towards the door, and added, "If you behave like a good ickle Mudblood then you'll get to eat something once a day, and you'll have a constant supply of water. I suggest you don't drink too much though considering your bathroom facilities." She smirked.

Hermione stared, remaining silent and taking in the information Bellatrix provided. At least that put paid to any remaining hope she had that the bucket was for something other than going to the toilet. Now she would just have to learn to accept it and make the most of a terrible, humiliating situation.

Conjuring what looked like a dog bowl next to Hermione through the bars, Bellatrix pointed her wand at it. "Aguamenti!" It immediately filled with water. "It'll refill automatically all for you!" she announced mockingly.

"Thank you," Hermione said reluctantly. She supposed she ought to be grateful that under the circumstances, Bellatrix was at least taking care of her most basic needs. _Barely._ Still, one couldn't help but think that were she in the presence of Voldemort himself, she wouldn't even have been granted something as simple as a drink of water. And at least there was a certain amount of respite from the torture; Voldemort would have had her shrieking in agony from the moment she arrived until the present time had he been here.

It did surprise her, somewhat. After all, Bellatrix was said to be the most loyal to Voldemort of all the Death Eaters, she reminded herself. Previously, Hermione had always found this easy to believe; all evidence pointed to Bellatrix having gone out of her way to commit crime after crime in her desire for her Lord to reign over the wizarding world. It was something that Hermione had always accepted as the truth, but here, now, she was starting to see beyond that. There were subtle signs of an intelligent woman behind the craziness, (like any of the other Death Eaters would have been intelligent enough to realise that Muggle-borns _needed_ to eat and drink regularly like the rest of wizards and witches...) and Hermione was beginning to think that had Bellatrix been brought up in a different environment where pure-blood mania wasn't a factor, that she probably wouldn't be the psychopath that stood before her today. Perhaps it was just an assumption, but that was the opinion she had rapidly formulated.

"Any questions, my little Mudbaby?" Bellatrix asked with a grin. _Nope, take that back. Actually, she's the definition of insanity_, Hermione thought bitterly.

"Why am I here?" she said intead, not wishing to provoke an argument.

Bellatrix cackled, "Isn't it obvious? Because I want you to be! Because the Dark Lord wishes you to be! He believes that Potter will come looking for you... and when he does, we will be ready!"

She didn't believe Bellatrix entirely; there had to be some reason that she wasn't revealing. For the moment, Hermione ignored it, and took her word to be true. "Harry wouldn't be so stupid," she said defiantly.

"We'll see," Bellatrix said, and her lips quirked up into a smile. "The Dark Lord is always right."

What unnerved Hermione most was the idea that Voldemort may want to question her himself as to the whereabouts of Harry. Bellatrix was hell all on her own, but coupled with her Master there was no greater fear for Hermione. Oh, she could pretend to be brave, pretend like none of this affected her, but it was real._ This_ was real. Her only saving grace would be to make sure that Bellatrix didn't know how scared she really was, and so arrogantly, uncaringly, she said, "I suppose that means he'll want to ask me himself. Throw a couple of curses at me whilst he is at it."

That earned her a slap for her insolence, but she tried not to wince too hard. "I doubt he'll want to waste his time with filth like you," Bellatrix spat, dark eyes flashing. "The Dark Lord has faith in me... he knows that should I discover anything of use to him, I will pass it on. I am more than capable, after all."

Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the insanity that exuberated from Bellatrix. Instead, she focused on herself, and with this focus, a concern was brought about for Hermione. Hygiene. "Do I get to change my clothes? Have a bath?"

"Hmm. I didn't even consider that. My immediate reply is no. It's not as if you can clean your blood, is it?" Bellatrix said jeeringly. "If you start making me want to vomit then I suppose I'll deal with the matter, but I'll most likely just brew a potion that temporarily removes my sense of smell. You'll be as dirty on the outside as your blood inside."

Hermione's heart sank. She supposed she should have expected it; this wasn't a hotel she was going to be staying in after all, though she had hoped that Bellatrix would at least care for her basic needs in between the torture she inflicted upon her. Moreover, despite it being ridiculous, the dark witch's words hurt. She genuinely detested Hermione for her heritage, for the fact that she had been born to Muggle's instead of magical parents. There was such a venomous look in Bellatrix's eyes that Hermione could hardly believe it possible that someone could hold so much hatred within.

"Not everyone thinks the way you do, Bellatrix," Hermione said quietly. Like her parents. Her parents had always loved her for who she was from the way she looked to the way she acted. They called it unconditional love.

Bellatrix squinted at her, looking aghast. "How dare you address me by my name, you unworthy little bitch!" Another slap, harder this time. _Ouch._

Inwardly, Hermione sighed. It seemed that no matter what she said, Bellatrix could not even talk to her civilly. She knew that were Harry and Ron here they would tell her she was an idiot for expecting anything more, but she had hoped that at the very least Bellatrix wouldn't feel the need to make petty jibes at her. "Then what should I call you?" she asked defiantly.

Vigorously Bellatrix shook her head, apparently disbelieving at Hermione's attitude. Thankfully though, she didn't make a move to her attack her. "You could call me Mistress Bellatrix like my house-elf does. But then, I don't think I want your mouth besmirching my name at all. Perhaps it would be best for you to just call me Mistress, or not to call me anything at all."

Hermione considered this order. Like hell was she calling her Mistress anything. _Bitch._ "You know, eventually there will be nothing left for you to do," She did her best to keep all emotion from her voice. "You'll break me entirely, and it'll just get boring for you."

"Well," Bellatrix said with a grin. "When the enjoyment stops, I may consider killing you. But that's a long time coming... I have a very active imagination and a wide, vast knowledge of spells to acquaint you with."

"Fine," Hermione shrugged, feigning indifference.

"Fine," Bellatrix repeated, still with a wide smile on her face that made it clear she knew Hermione was bluffing, and that in actual fact she was absolutely terrified by what she was going to have to face. "Let the fun begin!"

Hermione watched as Bellatrix exited the room, still cackling with an insane laugh that made Hermione want to scream and scream purely to drown it out. She supposed that really, it was better this way; at least she would have a break from being tortured and ridiculed for the pleasure of the older witch. There was no telling when Bellatrix would arrive back, and so she would make the most of the time she had free of pain and try to get some rest. There was no escaping this hellhole, and so it would be pointless to even try.

And then she realised. The dread that was setting in, the horrific anticipation for what was to come... that was the worst part.

The torture had already begun.

* * *

_**March 1957**_

_At the age of six years old, Bellatrix had a head of thick curls already. Coupled with her big, brown, eyes, she attracted the attention of pretty much anyone who saw her. She had a lovely face, a beautiful, pure smile, her mother said. Her father had sometimes heard her say this, but he had never agreed. Bellatrix was sure what it was because he secretly preferred her baby sister, Narcissa. Cissy had a head of baby soft, white-blonde hair, and a smile that melted even her father's stony heart. Bellatrix had never been able to achieve the same reaction from him, even when she smiled her sweetest smile. _

_Her mother on the other hand loved all her daughters an equal amount. Each was special in their own way, she said, and Bellatrix believed her. She appreciated the fact that Narcissa was charming, Andromeda was kind and Bellatrix was brave. All had their differences, but all were united by the purest of blood running through their veins. _

_As a six year old, Bellatrix had no real concept of status and purity. She just heard the words that her father spouted off when talking to her mother, and then forgot about them as soon as the conversation had moved on. And so that was why when the golden haired boy opposite her in Flourish and Blotts on a family trip to Diagon Alley approached her to speak to her, she didn't think anything of it._

"_You got'ta pretty smile," he announced when he noticed Bellatrix looking over at him. _

"_Thanks," Bellatrix smile grew larger, dimples forming in her cheeks. "What's your name?"_

"_Tommy Larson," he said, returning the smile. "What's yours?"_

"_Bella..." Bellatrix began, before she felt herself being dragged away. Huh? Why couldn't they stay and talk some more together?_

"_What do you think you're doing?" Her father hissed in her ear. "We do not associate with filth like him!"_

"_Why though daddy?" Bellatrix asked, confused and upset because not only had she been dragged away from a boy who seemed like he could be her friend, but also because her daddy was gripping her arm, and it hurt. Lots._

"_Because he has bad, nasty blood in him, and we are better than him, Bellatrix," Cygnus informed her. "And that's all you need to know."_

* * *

A short time later (though Hermione couldn't say whether it was minutes or hours) and Hermione's calm demeanour had vanished entirely, as she was throwing all of her body weight against the bars in a futile attempt to dislodge them. To the best of her knowledge the only way out was through the bars; the ventilation system was too high up to be reached, and there was no sign of any exit through the floor. With a back wall and two side walls, Hermione's only other option was to somehow break the metal rods. The rational part of her was well aware that she was never going to be strong enough to get out of her cell, but the frustration and fear within prevented her from giving up just yet. _Fight to the death, _she told herself.

The only other option would be to see if she became skinny enough through lack of nourishment to slip through the bars, but there was always the chance that Bellatrix would be smart enough to see this coming and modify the cell accordingly, or Hermione still wouldn't fit through the bars even after losing as much weight as humanely possible. She supposed that if she lost enough she'd most likely die and therefore wouldn't have to suffer anymore, but Bellatrix would probably intervene before this happened, if only to keep her plaything alive for future entertainment.

Even if she did breakout of the cell, where was there to go? There was a tiny, high window in the corner, but there was no way she would be able to fit through, even if by some miracle she was able to get up there. The lack of options made her want to scream until her throat was raw, despite the fact that nobody would be able to hear her. She stopped herself because should Bellatrix hear then she would be extremely angry and punish her for it, but that didn't prevent her from having such a strong desire to make as much noise as possible regardless, if only to vent out her frustrations.

"Well, well, well," Hermione cringed inwardly as she heard Bellatrix's voice. She turned to face the entrance to the dungeon and was met with the sight of the Death Eater with one hand leaning against the wall next to her. "Someone's not behaving themselves, are they?"

"Please, just let me out," Hermione tried to reason with her captor. "I'll... I'll stop fighting against you and just... go back to my normal Muggle life, even before the wizarding world. I promise, I won't interfere anymore. Promise," Hermione babbled. She meant what she said too. This horrible situation was caused by fighting and wars, and she just wasn't strong enough. She missed her parents, missed going to bed at night and feeling safe. Already she'd done so much to help the Order in their fight against Voldemort, and taking a step back now and going back to being a happy, normal, teenage Muggle wouldn't be so bad, would it? Harry and Ron would most probably try and persuade her otherwise, say they could protect her, but she could refuse and run, couldn't she?

Bellatrix laughed. "Oh, really?"

"Yes. Yes, just please let me out," Hermione begged. "I can't take this anymore."

"But it's not even been a day yet!" Bellatrix announced in mock-surprise. "We still have soooo much to experience together."

Hermione shook her head violently.

"No? Well now, that's just plain rude of you," Bellatrix sighed. "And here's me going out of my way to spend time with you to make sure you're not lonely."

"And why would I want your company?" Hermione said, before she could stop herself, anger swelling up from the pit of her empty stomach and replacing the fear at the fact Bellatrix was mocking her pleas. "It's not as if you've treated me well so far. You hate my origins, you hate my beliefs and you hate the choices I have made in life. I think we both know that the only thing you're doing right now is taking pleasure in the fact that you're making this experience as hellish as possible for me. "You're like the Wizarding version of Elizabeth Bathory."

"Who is that?" Bellatrix spat. "A _Muggle_, I assume."

"An insane Muggle," Hermione clarified, and the way she was suddenly dishing out information reminded her of being back at Hogwarts in her classes, the only one who always knew the answer. "She liked to torture people too."

Bellatrix smirked. "I bet she didn't do it with as much style as me, though."

Hermione bit her tongue, not wanting to say anything that may give Bellatrix ideas for the future. She had read extensively about Elizabeth Bathory when surfing the internet on her parent's computer at home, and learned of all the hideous methods she employed when hurting her victims. Bellatrix was bad enough on her own, she didn't need further encouragement. Beatings... burning... biting... and they weren't the worst of the torture methods. At the moment though, they were the only torture choices that Hermione would allow herself to think about. Of course, there was no guarantee that Bellatrix would deign to copy a Muggle, but that was a chance Hermione wasn't prepared to take. Instead, she remained silent, waiting for Bellatrix to speak first.

The Death Eater's expression hardened at the lack of response from Hermione, and there was no longer a trace of any amusement on her face. Once more, her mood had darkened rapidly. "You think things can't get any worse? You have no idea of the things I am capable of doing."

"I think I do," Hermione disagreed. "And we both know the only reason you're not constantly torturing me is that you want me sane enough to be aware of what is going on. Torture every waking moment would only put me into some sort of catatonic state or destroy my mind so completely that you no longer have fun torturing the smart Muggle girl and are instead left with a babbling fool."

"You mean rather like the Longbottoms'?" Bellatrix enquired innocently, twirling her wand around in her hands. She looked at Hermione as if to say_, come on, say what you want to me and be ready to face the consequences._

Hermione did not disappoint.

"You're evil," she said ferociously, rage rising up within her. "You're an evil, foul, repulsive creature who..."

"_Silencio!_" Bellatrix screamed.

At once, Hermione found herself unable to continue insulting Bellatrix. Angry at the fact she was unable to continue her tirade or abuse, Hermione shot her middle finger up in the air, directed at Bellatrix and making her feelings perfectly clear without the use of speech. Childish, but at least she got her point across.

"Tut tut," Bellatrix said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "I think someone needs to be taught some manners."

Bracing herself for the Cruciatus curse, Hermione shut her eyes, waiting. At least Bellatrix wouldn't be able to hear her screams for as long as the Silencing Charm worked. She waited. And waited. When the pain still hadn't come after a few seconds, Hermione released a breath, almost relieved. Maybe Bellatrix was just going to rant again about how hideous the blood within her was.

It wasn't long until she realised that she couldn't breathe, to the extent that she couldn't even so much as gasp for oxygen. Panicking, she wrenched her eyes open and clutched at her throat, desperately trying to force speech out of her mouth.

"_Incarcerous_ is such a useful spell, don't you think? Especially when used around ones' throat," Bellatrix drawled casually.

Hermione tried to reply, to beg Bellatrix to let her breathe once more, but her efforts, although noticed were in vain.

"I'm sorry, can't quite hear you," Bellatrix said loudly, making a big show of placing a hand to her ear, gesturing for Hermione to speak up.

Feeling dizzy, Hermione gave up trying to talk, and instead fell to her knees, resting her head against the bars. The torture was already getting to her and it was only a few hours since she had been captured. How would she survive this, day after day? Her mind was hazy, and she felt all the warmth within her begin to fade, chills running up and down her body as each second without oxygen passed. Hermione had no idea how long Bellatrix was going to keep this going on for, but she guessed that even if it was over soon, something else that caused her pain and suffering would soon replace it.

"Do you want me to stop?" Bellatrix asked, grinning madly.

Unable to focus on Bellatrix's face, Hermione nodded her head up and down furiously in the hope that Bellatrix would understand the meaning she was trying to convey. Taking in oxygen was something so natural to humans that she didn't normally think about the breathing process, but now that it had been cruelly taken away from her, she was beginning to understand just how vital to her survival it was. What was worse was that Bellatrix knew that by depriving her of this she would panic; a justified, rational reaction in such a cruel circumstance.

When Hermione continued to gesture to Bellatrix that she really, seriously, absolutely needed to breathe, Bellatrix sighed. "Well, who am I to refuse such an _insistent _request..." and at once, all restraints on Hermione were lifted.

Sucking in a breath, Hermione collapsed, bashing her forehead on the concrete floor, but barely registering the pain through the waves of nausea that overwhelmed her. She gagged, but as she had already thrown up the contents of her stomach and as of yet hadn't drank for fear of needing to use the bucket in the corner, nothing exited her body, and she just lay there, heaving, almost as though she were still choking.

"Aww, poor baby," Bellatrix cooed. "I'll just come and check if you're ok."

Seconds later and Hermione had stopped gagging. She was now frozen to the spot, finding that she couldn't move as Bellatrix entered her cage, all the while staring at her with those dark, soulless eyes. Her darkened lips were set together, and there was no emotion on her face as she knelt down next to Hermione, lowering herself to come so close to her captive. "You know, if you hadn't been so rude to me then I might not have had to teach you a lesson. I only came down so we could have a girly chat!" Bellatrix exclaimed, chiding Hermione in a psycho-friendly sort of way.

"Why... why..." Hermione still struggled to talk despite being free (in a manner of speaking) to speak and move as she pleased. "...did you want to talk to me?" _Distract her. Don't give her a chance to get bored and torture you again, _she thought.

"Well, I thought we could get to know each other," Bellatrix replied, and if it wasn't for the fact that Hermione knew the Death Eater was a stark raving lunatic, she may have believed her, so serious was Bellatrix's reply. Thinking logically, Hermione surmised that maybe the Death Eater _did_ intend to talk to her properly, if only to see if she could gain any useful information about the Order of the Phoenix or Hermione's friends and associates that were working together against Voldemort.

"Why are you... doing this?" Hermione asked, hoping that her attempt to detract Bellatrix with such a question didn't earn her another curse.

Bellatrix looked at her, nonchalant. "Because I can."

"There must... must be a reason," Hermione said, starting to feel a little more together. "You know that even now... if the situations were reversed, I... I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." She meant it. For all that Bellatrix had already put her through, for all the terrible, hateful crimes she had committed in the name of her Master, Hermione still couldn't bring herself to afford Bellatrix the same treatment. Like Dumbledore she tried to see the good in anyone and everyone, and bar Voldemort himself (but he was less than human and so in her eyes, didn't count) she was sure that there was something in everyone to be desired and admired.

"No, you probably wouldn't," Bella conceded, bowing her head downwards. "But then, you are the weak, pathetic one here."

"So you're implying that because I care for people, it makes me weak?" Hermione asked rhetorically. "I would much rather be me than you, even now. I'm capable of feeling one thing Voldemort will never be able to feel;_ love_."

Hermione felt a sharp sting across her left cheek as Bellatrix slapped her. "You_ dare_ to speak The Dark Lord's name?" she whispered, sounding furiously. "You dirty little slut, what makes you think that you have any right to..."

"Then what should I call him?" Hermione interjected. "If I call him He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or You-Know-Who you'll mock me for being too scared to use his name, and only people like _you_ call him the Dark Lord."

Bellatrix raised an eyebrow, her eyes still fiery but the fury no longer as pronounced. "And what is your problem with the latter?" The look she gave Hermione was clear; _say the wrong thing now and I will torture you into insanity, Mudblood. _Hermione could almost hear the words in her own head.

"I don't worship him," Hermione stated, making sure that she didn't sound rude, knowing that she was discussing a _very_ touchy subject with Bellatrix. "If I did worship him then I wouldn't be in here locked up; would I? Besides, why would he want somebody as filthy as myself devoting themselves to him?"

Bellatrix remained silent, not retaliating with a comeback. For once, she was speechless, and it made her look the most human Hermione had ever witnessed. No longer was there an animalistic look in her dark brown eyes, but an expression of utmost thought, as though she was actually taking in what Hermione told her and thinking things over in her head before responding. There wasn't a hope in hell of her agreeing with anything Hermione spouted out or thought regarding Voldemort, but she just might listen to reason and understand the point that Hermione was trying to get across. She'd probably hurt her then for fun anyway, but that was just Bellatrix all over, Hermione was beginning to learn.

"You could have everything you've ever wanted," Hermione continued, not sure where she was getting the words from or why she was putting herself in such a dangerous position. The moment she so much as used one teeny, little word that Bellatrix disliked was the moment she'd regret it, for certain. "You could have power, wealth, success, and if you stopped looking so insane all the time then you'd have your beauty once more. You don't have to turn into an angel, you just need to do the right thing. If you did... you could have your life back."

"And what makes you think that I want any of what you have just listed, silly girl?" Bellatrix snapped.

"I may not be able to practice Occlumency on you, but I can still hazard a guess as to why you have made the choices you've made regarding... regarding _Him_," Hermione said, softer now. "You're living through fantasies and obsessions that will never come true, and maybe one day... maybe then you will change."

"I will never waver in my faithfulness to The Dark Lord!" Bellatrix declared passionately.

"Probably not," Hermione conceded. "But there's always a chance. I'll keep hoping for you."

Standing, Bellatrix did not offer a reply to this. She merely turned around and exited the cage, magically sealing it behind her once more.

"You're not... _Him_, Bellatrix," Hermione said, determined." She believed there was so much more to the raven haired witch, and even though she had no idea why she would think such a thing, she chose to try and convince Bellatrix anyway. She had nothing to lose, after all.

Hermione had figured it out long ago that Bellatrix cared for Voldemort in an unnatural way. She was reluctant to call it love, because love didn't necessarily cause one to make the sort of choices that Bellatrix had made, at least not without something in return. And as far as Hermione was aware, Bellatrix had not gained anything from her devotion to Voldemort other than more than fourteen years in Azkaban. It was like she had been brainwashed by Voldemort's ideals and beliefs, and those around her had only encouraged her to think this way, maybe even since she was a little girl.

Nevertheless, Hermione was not optimistic that Bellatrix would understand the possibilities that were available to her should she so choose to reach for them. It had been so long since Bellatrix had begun committing evil acts that Hermione wasn't sure she could comprehend what it meant to be an average, normal person, let alone a good, kind-hearted one. Besides which, the mere fact that Bellatrix was every inch a Slytherin pretty much ensured that she would also make selfish choices in life with no regard for others. As much as Hermione wished she could change this, she was smart enough to realise that there might perhaps be nothing in the world, not one person, object, spell or otherwise that would be capable of turning around Bellatrix's point of view.

Ignoring Hermione's last words, Bellatrix left the room in silence. So quiet was she that Hermione didn't even hear her footsteps as she walked up the stairs, and for a split second, Hermione imagined that she may have unnerved Bellatrix, confused her with the fact that her Muggle-born self had spoken to her so kindly, had expressed hope that she would change.

For the first time since she had been abducted, Hermione allowed herself to smile.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much for all the lovely feedback, it really is lovely of everyone who has taken the time to write a review. Eryk Lestrange I don't want to give away who first has feelings for the other, but it will all become clear eventually. I don't want to give too much away at this stage as there is an awful lot that hasn't yet been revealed, but I do hope you'll keep reading to find out!

* * *

_Don't let me see mistakes and lies_

_Let me keep my faith in innocent eyes_

_Delta Goodrem, Innocent Eyes_

* * *

_**3. **_

"Wake up, Mudwhore!"

Groggily, Hermione opened her eyes. She must have fallen asleep at some point after forcing herself to pee into that disgusting bucket in the corner. Despite the icy temperature of the dreary cell, she had apparently been so tired that she had somehow closed her eyes without realising. Thankfully, she hadn't dreamt, because under no circumstances would her dreams have been anything but horrific considering her current predicament. To add insult to injury, her face was throbbing from the previous day when Bellatrix has punched her hard, the Death Eater's heavy silver ring having broken the skin that covered her cheekbone.

"I said WAKE UP!" Bellatrix repeated, when Hermione's eyes flickered shut once more. "You have no right to ignore me, despicable girl!"

Not wanting to antagonise Bellatrix further, Hermione snapped her eyes open. Upon doing so, she realised just how close to her the older witch was, and instinctively, she slid backwards to sit upright against the wall. "I'm sorry," she croaked, trying not to sound dazed and half asleep. There was an insane look in Bellatrix's eyes, coupled with a deadened sort of glare which scared Hermione above everything else. It was almost like Bellatrix was unaffected by everything around her, and was fixated entirely on Hermione. That alone wouldn't ordinarily be so much of an issue, were it not for the fact that it was not only a deranged Death Eater standing in front of her, but one with a penchant for injuring Muggle-borns like Hermione.

Muggle-borns that she despised.

"I will say this once, and once only," Bellatrix growled, her voice dangerously low. Instinctively, Hermione knew that she was about to face the wrath of Bellatrix. "If you ever speak to me in the way that you did so yesterday, I will make this twice as hard for you."

_How is that even possible? _It wasn't as though she'd been having a fabulous time so far; she had been tortured, humiliated and locked in a cell with no means of escape. Nothing that had happened to her was even close to Hermione's idea of entertainment.

"Ohh it can get a lot worse," Bellatrix said threateningly, and Hermione tried her best not to worry about the possibility that Bellatrix was still sifting through her private thoughts whenever she so chose. Occlumency was her only hope of preventing it, and she had no idea if she was even capable of learning it in such a horrific environment with no outside support like teachers or books.

"Please, don't do this," Hermione pleaded. "Whatever you're planning... please. _Don't."_

Bellatrix shook her head, swaying back and forth. "Uh uh. Too late." She straightened, and promptly spat in Hermione's face. "You disgust me!"

Cowering, Hermione raised her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself. She didn't even bother to wipe her face; Bellatrix would most likely only do something worse if she did. No more did she attempt to beg, because it wasn't worth it. Until Bellatrix had punished her there was nothing she could do but accept what was coming to her. The Death Eater's did not forgive easily, if at all, and so Hermione's earlier lapse in judgement had just earned her what was likely to be a world of pain.

"I could get the others here, you know," Bellatrix said casually. "I could strip you of your filthy Muggle clothes and give them permission to do whatever they wished with you. No doubt there would be blood, sweat and fucking... over and over again until you passed out from the agony of it all."

Hermione whimpered, audibly, inside of her skull, deep within her chest. _No. Please, no._

"That's not going to happen today though," Bellatrix said, and Hermione was sickened by the fact that the other witch seemed disappointed by this. "No. Instead we have... _Flagrate!"_

No warning.

_Heat. Burning. Fire._

Hermione yelled, and at once her throat enveloped in the flames that had already surrounded her body, drowning out her screams. She was being burnt alive, and there was nothing she could do but to focus on the pain, the intense, horrifying, torturous pain. So terrible was it that Hermione almost imagined she would rather have faced all the other Death Eaters that Bellatrix had threatened to bring to her. Nothing could be as bad as this, it was just another form of _Crucio,_ a hotter kind of torment that was unbearable, that made Hermione feel as though she was losing her mind. Was this ever going to stop? Would she ever feel normal again_? I'm burning... I'm burning... fetch the engines, fetch the engines. Fire fire, fire fire!_

She couldn't remember the ending... the solution that led to the fire dying. There was no water for her body, just constant, terrifying anguish and suffering.

_Please stop._

And then, her request came true. "I think that'll do..." she heard from the distance.

The flames disappeared, and after she felt her skin heal, she eventually she managed to stop her screams, wrenching her mouth shut. She didn't trust herself to say anything right now, and wasn't entirely sure if she was even capable of speech.

"You do realise that only went on for thirty seconds," Bellatrix informed her. "Much longer and there's a risk of permanent damage... and the last thing I want to do is to scar your lovely, flawless skin!" She cackled.

Forcing her eyes to open, Hermione felt the dread turn to relief as she felt her neck and realised that Bellatrix was right; her skin was undamaged. Although her heart was racing, she felt calmer knowing that aesthetically at least she was unaffected. Come to think of it, there weren't any lasting twinges of pain or weakness either like there was with the Cruciatus curse, though her skin did feel hot. It was almost as though it had never even happened, and that was what scared Hermione most of all. It meant that Bellatrix could perform that spell over and over again, inflicting excruciating pain on Hermione whenever she so wished to do so.

"Speak, Mudblood," Bellatrix commanded sharply.

"I... I..." Hermione tried hoarsely. She could barely speak such was her fright at the new form of torture that had been thrown at her. "Don't know what... to say."

Surprisingly, Bellatrix sat down opposite Hermione. "Why don't you ask a question? You're so good at those! Nothing related to my devotion to The Dark Lord though," she warned.

"I don't... what sort of question?" _Is this a game?_

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "I tell you what... question for a question! And then some more, perhaps. You ask yours first and then I'll speak. It'll give you a chance for your voice to recover. In fact, drink this." Bellatrix thrust the dog bowl at Hermione.

Not daring to disobey Bellatrix, especially when she was in such a raving mood, Hermione drank. The water actually cooled her throat, for though she no longer experienced any pain, her body still felt too warm. One thing was certain however, she would never again use metaphors such as "My body is on fire" to describe a high temperature when she was ill; not when she had been unfortunate enough to have experienced the real thing.

"You should ask your question now," Bellatrix said with a manic grin.

Knowing this was just another form of play to Bellatrix, Hermione didn't want to ask her any questions with real meaning. At the same time she had to be seen to be genuinely interested in the dark haired witch, lest she suffer the consequences. Therefore, she settled for something that she had always wondered about, and was entirely random. "Why don't you..." she paused. There was no nice way of asking this question, but she couldn't think of anything else to ask. Moreover, she was actually intrigued, and this would comply with Bellatrix's instructions in that it was completely unrelated to Voldemort.

"Do go on," Bellatrix drawled, appearing to wait in anticipation.

"On the photo I saw of you at Sirius's old home," Hermione began, careful not to say anything that would reveal the location of the house should it ever be safe to use in the future. She also ignored the twinge of pain as she remembered Harry's godfather and how Bellatrix was responsible for his death. "You looked different."

Bellatrix smirked. "I'm surprised my dearly departed cousin even allowed for there to be a single photograph of me in the house."

"On the tapestry," Hermione mumbled.

"Oh really? That explains it," Bellatrix accepted. "Continue with your question."

"You looked... beautiful," Hermione said, feeling slightly ridiculous and trying not to dwell on the fact she had sort of complimented Bellatrix. "But now, it's like you don't care anymore. Your teeth and your nails..." she stopped talking, not knowing quite how to phrase what she wanted to say. She didn't want to face another curse or hex, especially not when she had just faced the last one. Sighing, she decided she should probably just say what she wanted to say. If she unnerved Bellatrix, then good. The bitch deserved to be the freaked out one for a change. "Why don't you take care of the way you look? I don't understand it."

Bellatrix looked genuinely perplexed by Hermione's question. Slowly, she answered, "Well Mudblood, I suppose I've just not really thought about it."

"Ever?" Hermione asked, disbelieving.

Bellatrix shrugged. "When you're on the run and fighting for your cause and Master, nothing else tends to matter."

"But you still dress well," Hermione pointed out. _If a little morbid._

Bellatrix grinned. "I'm sure your little friends wouldn't appreciate you complimenting me, Mudbaby."

"It doesn't matter... not as if I'm ever going to see them again," Hermione said dismissively, and she tried not to let this thought hurt her too much. She had to focus on the conversation, if only so that she could read Bellatrix's moods and sense when she was straying into dangerous territory as far as conversation was concerned. At the moment she appeared to be treading on stable ground, but that could all change in a moment, especially when considering Bellatrix's ever-changing personality. All it would take for Bellatrix to turn would be for her to say the wrong thing on just one occasion, and that would be it. _Smack, Bang, Crucio._

"Hmm," Bellatrix said. "You know, I think it's my turn to ask you a question now."

"Fine," Hermione said, bracing herself for whatever offensive remark and request for information was going to be thrown her way.

"Many witches and wizards despise me," Bellatrix stated. "They would happily see me dead. But you... you don't. I lock you up, torture you, mock you, and yet you still don't hate me. Why?"

"How do you know that?" Hermione said. "You have no idea how I feel towards you."

"Ohh, but I do," Bellatrix disagreed. "I read your thoughts, remember? I know how you ponder the decisions I've made, wonder about my evil ways. You debate with yourself whether or not there's a _good little Bella_ deep within my stony heart."

"Maybe I just don't want to believe you truly hate me so much," Hermione responded. It worried her that she apparently wasn't aware of Bellatrix's perusal of her thoughts. If she wanted, it seemed she could read certain feelings of Hermione without her even being aware. Hermione suspected that this was due to her advanced skills in Legilimency, most likely second only to the skills of Voldemort. She doubted that every single Legilimens out there could perform it as well as Bellatrix could.

"What are you suggesting? That my torture is a sign I _love _you?" Bellatrix said mockingly, bringing a hand up to her chest and splaying her fingers out over her heart. "But _you_ still haven't answered my question, ickle one..."

"That's because I don't really know the answer," Hermione admitted. "I just... can't. There are others I hate, but not you. And it doesn't make sense to me in the slightest, believe me."

Bellatrix searched Hermione's eyes for signs that she was lying. Satisfied, she said, "I can see that you're telling me the truth, and that makes it all the more extraordinary. Apparently, I made the right choice in bringing you here out of all the filth I could have chosen. At least you're not a _savage_."

Hermione was perplexed. "And _why_ exactly would I be a savage?"

Rolling her eyes, Bellatrix looked at Hermione as if she was the stupidest person she had ever met. "Because most Muggles are."

Not even bothered to explain that she wasn't actually a Muggle, Hermione was far more intrigued by the fact that Bellatrix seemed to truly believe her words. It was as if she really thought that Muggles were barbaric creatures who existed to torment wizards. Fair enough, there were a large amount of crazy, insane Muggles out there, but it was exactly the same in the wizarding world. In fact, Bellatrix was a perfect example herself. She didn't exactly have the right to go around commenting on others' violence and penchant for sadistic torture considering her own crimes. _Hypocritical freak._

She frowned, a random thought dawning on her as she considered Bellatrix's actions further. Why had Bellatrix brought her here? Was it opportunist or was she targeted? Did Bellatrix make the decision or Voldemort? Why Hermione?

"You're wondering why you were chosen," Bellatrix stated, and felt twinges in her brain, a sign that Bellatrix had broken into her mind again. "Well, I'll answer it for you seeing as you've been such a good little Mudgirl these past few minutes."

"Thanks," Hermione said, trying to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

"It's simple, really. Of all the Mudbloods out there, you are the only one who has so truly captivated a pure-blood, or rather, pure-bloods," Bellatrix said with a shrug. "I wondered what all the fuss was about."

"I don't understand," Hermione said, confused.

Bellatrix sighed, impatient. "The Weasleys... the blood traitors! They've practically adopted you as their little pet... they love and care for you and make you feel oh-so-wanted. How many other pure-blood families are doing the same for a Mudblood in these dark and dangerous times?"

Hermione thought for a moment, and then realised that Bellatrix was right. There were no names that immediately sprung to mind, and upon thinking further, Hermione still couldn't name any other family who had looked after a Muggle-born the way that she had been looked after. A pang rushed through her heart as she realised how lucky she had been, how her stupid actions had landed her in this current situation. The Weasley's had not left her alone because they had been concerned for her safety, and rightly so judging by what had now happened. If only she had listened to them then she would be safely tucked up in bed at this very moment, not having an in-depth conversation with Bellatrix Lestrange in a grotty little cell. And really, that was the crux of the matter; if she hadn't been so stubborn and had done as she was told then she wouldn't be here.

Curious about how Bellatrix had found her, Hermione said, her voice full of inquisitiveness, "How did you know I'd be outside the protection of the Weasley's home?"

"I didn't. It was a lucky guess, I suppose. We have all been visiting the homes of members of the Order in an attempt to catch somebody off guard..." she leaned in to Hermione. "And I grabbed you faster than a goblin grabs galleons." Bellatrix chucked as Hermione shuddered.

"So... what? You thought you'd take me away, make me suffer?" Hermione asked, horrified by Bellatrix's admission.

"That's the gist of it, yes. And if your dear friend Potter turns up to rescue you then all the better for us," Bellatrix said with a smile.

"He won't," Hermione said, shaking her head. "He's not that stupid."

"We'll see, won't we? Besides, even if he doesn't, you'll still be sticking around. My husband has had many of his own witch-pets these past few months, and I decided it was high time I had one of my very own," Bellatrix said, and for a split second, it was almost as though she was leering at Hermione.

Hermione stared. She was confused, not only by the brief expression on Bellatrix's face, but by the information Bellatrix had provided about her husband. "You're happy for him to snatch other women?" She asked, incredulous.

Bellatrix laughed. "For someone so smart, that was an _absurd _question," she said scornfully. "Do you really think that our marriage is based on _love_? I couldn't care less about what Rodolphus chooses to do for pleasure in his spare time, and he feels the same in return. We married because we were forced, and at the time, for our status. If he wants to take Mudsluts and Muggle filth back to his home to play, who am I to judge?"

"You don't even live together?" Hermione asked, unable to stop herself. The rational part of her dictated she should be happy about not having to face Rodolphus as well, but she was so enthralled in her conversation with Bellatrix that she barely felt a thing.

Bellatrix huffed at what she clearly considered to be Hermione's stupidity. "Of course not, _idiot_. By separating it makes us stronger; if one is caught then it does not mean everyone else is too. Of course, now that the Dark Lord is getting stronger it isn't as necessary, but I still don't plan to share a bed with Rodolphus anytime soon."

Trying not to look too shocked, Hermione blinked, hoping that her gaze was impassive. She was sort of surprised at how much Bellatrix was revealing to her, but in another second, she realised exactly why. Bellatrix was never going to let her go, was she? For the rest of her days she would have to live here, serving Bellatrix._ Hell becomes my life, _she thought bitterly, before remembering that Bellatrix was likely to delve into her mind if she should she become curious as to know what she was thinking about.

Speaking again, Hermione hoped that a flowing conversation would prevent Bellatrix's curiosity. "Have you never wondered what it feels like to marry someone for love?" she asked.

Bellatrix kept her eyes fixed on Hermione's, though they betrayed nothing. "I don't believe I'm required to answer that question, Mudblood."

"I thought we were playing a question game," Hermione said lightly.

"We are. But not only have I answered far more questions, I am not required to do as you say. Remember, all it'll take is one flick of the wand..." she held it up threateningly, moving it closer towards Hermione.

"Ok," Hermione said hastily. "We can talk about something else."

"Or I could torture you again," Bellatrix suggested.

"No... no wait," Hermione said, hating the fact that even to her own ears she sounded desperate. "Let's talk about something... something mundane. Like Quidditch." She didn't have a clue about Quidditch, but it was the first safe topic that came into her head.

Bellatrix stared blankly. "I hate Quidditch." She raised her wand, seemingly bored of talking by now. "_Crucio!_"

The pain began once more.

* * *

_**May 1959**_

"_I don't see why I can't play!" Bellatrix said stubbornly. "S'not fair."_

"_Life isn't fair, Bella," her mother said curtly. "You're not old enough yet... you might get hurt."_

"_I won't," Bellatrix protested. "I'll be very careful, I promise." She drew her hands over her heart to emphasise her declaration._

"_My word is final," Druella stated, ignoring Bellatrix and looking back down at the book she was reading. _

_Sulking, Bellatrix threw herself onto the floor, crossing her arms. She wore a frown on her face, her innocent wide-eyes piercing into her mother, trying to catch her attention again. It wasn't fair! All she wanted was to chase the Snitch; the garden of their home had been bewitched so as not to allow the Snitch to escape for when her father played, and so there was no chance of a Muggle catching sight of it. Besides, they lived in a predominantly magical village considering that her parents didn't want their three daughters to mix with non-magical folk. Privately, Bellatrix didn't see the big deal, but the one and only time she had been stupid enough to say that to her father he had used his wand to magically beat her with his belt, never even bothering to go to the trouble of using his actual hands. _

"_What is the problem, Bellatrix?" her father said, entering the lounge area._

"_I want to play Quidditch," Bellatrix said, but this time politely, formally. Her father would not tolerate any level of rudeness, and Bellatrix quite liked being able to feel her buttocks again, thank you very much._

"_I've said no, Cygnus," Druella interjected._

_Bellatrix looked up at her father, waiting expectantly for his answer._

"_If that's what your mother says, then my answer is also no," he informed her._

_Angry, Bellatrix launched herself upwards, her raven curls bouncing around her face as she did so. "I don't understand why," she stated, though as before, she kept her voice respectful. At the tender age of eight years old she had yet to learn how to keep her body language calm even when there was a storm raging within, but she had perfectly mastered the correct tone of voice needed, for this situation at least. The answer would still be no but at least she might understand the logic behind her parent's decision. Telling her that she wasn't old enough and that she might get hurt were silly excuses; nothing more._

_Her parent's looked at each other, and wordlessly they seemed to decide that it was Cygnus who would provide Bellatrix with the answer she so very much desired._

"_You should not be allowed life's pleasures, such as Quidditch, when you still have so much to learn, Bellatrix," he said patiently. "There are many things that you have failed to understand so far in life, such as the importance of the privileged blood status you have been born with. You are a pure-blood, and it is time that you realised how special that makes you."_

"_I do," Bellatrix said, agreeing because she knew it was the only option. "I do, father."_

"_Do not lie to me!" Cygnus hissed angrily, his dark eyes flashing. "I can see it in your eyes that you're only saying this to please me, and that alone is enough to anger me."_

"_I'm sorry," Bellatrix said remorsefully. The last thing she wanted was to experience her father's fury once again._

_Cygnus waved off her apology. "Listen to me. If you begin to appreciate what I have been telling you and I see real evidence of this, then I will rethink the matter of you playing Quidditch."_

"_Ok," Bellatrix said slowly. "But how am I going to show you that I appreciate being pure-blood?"_

"_I'm sure you'll think of a few ways," her father said ominously. _

_Bellatrix nodded, trying not to look confused, knowing it would only irritate her father. She wanted him to be proud of her, to let her do fun things like ride on a real adult broomstick instead of the rubbish toy one she had shoved in the back of her closet. The only issue was proving to him that she had changed her opinions, and how to provide evidence of this. It was hard, especially when she didn't really think that way at all. She supposed she could be mean to Muggles if she saw them, but they very rarely came across any, especially as her father despised them and went out of his way to avoid meeting any. The only other option seemed to be to target what she now knew were called Mudbloods; witches or wizards with Muggle parents. She herself didn't see why that mattered to her parents, but if she wanted to play Quidditch then she would just have to come around to their way of thinking._

_But she didn't understand. _

_She didn't understand one little bit._

* * *

After tormenting Hermione with the Cruciatus Curse (Hermione was beginning to think that was her favourite curse of all) Bellatrix had left her alone once more. However, before she exited she had commanded her female house-elf to bring Hermione food, which consisted of a lump of bread. The small house-elf had round, bulging, wide green eyes, large pointy ears and a nose that flicked upwards at the end. She looked to be younger than Dobby or Kreacher, the only two house-elves that Hermione had gotten to know really well. The house-elf had Apparated into the cell right next to Hermione, and for a moment she wondered if it was possible for her to Apparate too. Then she remembered how intelligent Bellatrix was, how she would never be so stupid, and that the house-elf's own branch of magic could probably work outside of the Anti-Disapparition Jinx that had been placed on the area.

As far as the bland choice of food went, Hermione didn't complain for she was absolutely starving, and this was the first time she had been fed since her arrival the day before. She supposed Bellatrix had assumed she had already eaten yesterday, and so on her first day the promise of being fed every day had not applied.

"Thank you," she said gratefully to the house-elf.

The house-elf bowed, clutching the ragged pink towel that she wore. "You are most welcome, Miss."

Hermione smiled. It felt nice to be treated like a human. She was sure that Bellatrix had forgotten to order the house-elf to be mean to her; if she knew that she was being respected in this manner then the Death Eater would no doubt have something to say about that. Taking the chance whilst she could, Hermione started up a conversation. "What's your name?" she asked kindly.

The house-elf seemed taken aback by the question, but replied all the same. "My name is Lemmy, Miss."

"Lemmy," Hermione repeated. "My name is Hermione."

"Miss Hermione," Lemmy repeated, surprisingly pronouncing her name right. "What is you doing here, Miss? Is you a friend of Mistress Bellatrix's?"

Torn, Hermione didn't know what to say. On one hand, if she said she was Bellatrix's friend then that was a lie that she would most likely eventually be called on. However, were she to say the real reason why she was there (and she was kind of confused that Lemmy had yet to discover this considering the fact that she was locked in a cell) then Lemmy may not want to speak to her anymore. In addition, she didn't plan to tell Lemmy that she was a Muggle-born. Although the house-elf may not care, there was always the chance that she would considering Bellatrix was her Mistress. Only time would tell.

Weighing up the two options, Hermione decided that the truth would cause a whole lot less trouble in the long run. "She brought me here, but we're not friends."

"Oh, Lemmy sees," Lemmy said, and her eyes held a sadness within. "Then Lemmy should probably not be talking to you."

"Well, has Bellatrix told you not to talk to me?" Hermione asked.

"No," Lemmy shook her head. "But still..."

"Maybe she wouldn't mind," Hermione attempted. It was a downright lie, but she wanted someone to speak to who wasn't going to talk to her like crap. It was now evident that at no stage had Bellatrix bothered to tell her elf to be nasty to her, as Lemmy was perfectly polite. Hermione supposed Bellatrix must have too much on her mind, not that she minded, of course."I promise not to say anything disrespectful about her, or talk about anything that will get you into trouble."

Lemmy shook her head. "Lemmy does not know, Miss Hermione. Mistress Bellatrix is very good to Lemmy and Lemmy does not wish to disobey her. Maybe Lemmy should ask her permission."

"No!" Hermione yelped, it barely registering that Lemmy had just implied Bellatrix chose to treat her well. "No... don't do that."

"Why not?" Lemmy frowned.

"Your Mistress has a lot to worry about at the moment," Hermione said, thinking off the top of her head. "With the changes in the wizarding world happening, you know?"

Lemmy nodded. "Lemmy does not know what is happening exactly, but Lemmy knows she is working hard. Lemmy stays out of it, Miss Hermione."

"You can just call me Hermione, you don't have to call me Miss," Hermione offered, but she took note of Lemmy's words. From what she could gather the house-elf didn't appear to have taken sides with anyone in the fight against Voldemort, as opposed to Kreacher who had taken on his Mistress's views. However, Hermione was grateful for the fact that Lemmy appeared to differ in that she didn't want to get involved; it would mean she may be able to find an ally in Lemmy, provided Bellatrix didn't directly order her not to be nice to Hermione or to not speak to her.

Lemmy shuddered. "Oh, no, Lemmy prefers to call you Miss, Miss Hermione. Lemmy is only a house-elf after all."

Hermione knew that now was not the appropriate time to get into a debate about the rights' of a house-elf. The last thing she needed was for Bellatrix to find out about that; she would torture Hermione for the mere suggestion that they should be treated equally to humans. Bellatrix would most likely shriek with laughter and then state that Mudbloods were no better.

"Ok, well if that's what makes you happy," Hermione said, smiling.

Lemmy bowed her head once more. "Lemmy should go now, Miss," she said, almost sounding reluctant. "Mistress Bella will be back soon, and she will be most displeased if Lemmy is not there to serve her."

Hermione nodded. "I understand, Lemmy. Thank you for speaking with me," she said gratefully, and she reached out a hand to affectionately touch Lemmy's skinny little arm.

Lemmy's eyes filled with tears at this simple gesture, and she bowed for the third time. "Lemmy will see you soon, Miss Hermione," she said, and she disappeared with a crack.

Two thoughts occurred to Hermione upon Lemmy's exit. One, that no matter how much she hated it, she would not ask Lemmy for any help in escaping. Not only would it be futile as the house-elf was bound to serve Bellatrix (Hermione didn't even want to think about how the Death Eater had laid her hands on the elf in the first place) but it would be unfair to put Lemmy in such a position.

The second thought that occurred to Hermione was the most important; she could never let Bellatrix know that she had spoken with Lemmy. She doubted very much that Lemmy would mention the encounter to Bellatrix unless specifically asked, and luckily there was no reason for Bellatrix to suspect anything, not when she probably had more important Voldemort-related things on her mind. Nevertheless, to be sure that she never discovered Hermione's secret, she would have to do her best with the information she possessed about Occlumency to improve her defences against Bellatrix breaking into her mind. It would be a tough branch of magic to master, but she was sure that she could do it.

If there was one thing that Hermione Granger liked, it was a challenge.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you once more to everyone for the reviews, you're all fantastic! I'm just going to comment on a few individual reviews as I feel they need answers.

**greeneleka-** I really appreciate that you think it's a true canon story. Don't worry, this will be very gradual, and I should say now that by no means is Bellatrix ever going to be a typically "good" or "nice" person. I won't say anymore than that for the time being as I don't want to spoil it, but I want people to know this will never turn into your average fluff fic.

**OpheliaBlack-** As I said in the PM I sent you, thanks for pointing out that house-elves speak in the third person. I've now corrected this in the previous chapter.

**Kriszti7-**Thank you for your review, and yes, it definately was the hardest thing to do with this pairing, mainly due to Bellatrix's nature. I hope you continue to find my characterization excellent!

**ladygoddess8-** I'm glad you like the flashbacks. I felt they were important for people to understand how Bellatrix came to be the way she is and adds to the realism of the story. You've understood exactly what I've done and some of the reasons behind Bellatrix's nature (the rest will become clear later on) and I'm seriously impressed that you've realised exactly what I've tried to do!

* * *

_You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature_

_finger-bangin' my heart_

_Ludo, Love Me Dead_

* * *

_**4.**_

Two weeks later and Hermione's days had turned into something of a routine.

_Wake. Torture. Talk. Torture. Eat. Torture. Sleep._

The torture wasn't always so frequent, but Bellatrix did visit her every single day, without fail. Some days she was crueller than others, allowing Hermione no break from the pain. Those were the days that Hermione despised, for nothing she said or did could convince Bellatrix not to hurt her. If anything, her begging simply spurred Bellatrix on to do an even better job of tearing her to pieces. She would laugh as Hermione screamed, taking great pleasure in the fact that she was one excellent witch breaking another equally as excellent witch.

Hermione counted each day that passed, judging roughly from when the sun came up every morning, and whenever Bellatrix wasn't around, Hermione practiced Occlumency. She cleared her mind, focusing on keeping certain thoughts out of her head, and controlling her emotions. Never had she been given a lesson in her life on how to best protect her mind, but she thought she may be getting better; the last few days Bellatrix had failed to comment on things she happened to be thinking about in her presence; an indicator that she may be improving. She wouldn't know if she was doing it right for sure until Bellatrix actively tried to force her way into her mind rather than just casually breaking in, but she supposed that Bellatrix would call her on it if she was successful, and she would most likely face punishment for her defiant behaviour.

The one thing that Hermione enjoyed each day was her visit from Lemmy, always with a lump of bread for her to eat. She couldn't have cared less about the poor nutrition, (though the hunger pains did annoy her) and mainly she was just happy to see a friendly face. Sometimes Lemmy didn't stay long, and Hermione got the impression that this was always when Bellatrix was in the house implying that the elf didn't want to risk being caught. Other times, however, she stayed with Hermione, offering her company and conversation. Each time that she visited, Lemmy carried out basic tasks for Hermione, such as cleaning out the bucket in the corner and brushing the knots out of her hair. Hermione suspected that she hadn't been told by Bellatrix to do the latter, but technically as Bellatrix hadn't expressly forbidding her to do so, for the moment she was helping Hermione. More than ever, Hermione would have loved a bath or shower, but she knew that were Lemmy to wash her in any way then Bellatrix would know she was doing more than she should for her prisoner, and there would be harsh consequences for them both to face as a result. As an alternative she had been so desperate to wash that she had taken to scooping water out of her water bowl in an attempt to clean herself as best she could. It wasn't very effective, but it was better than nothing.

Hermione had thought that over time, Bellatrix would soften towards her, that perhaps she would see that Hermione wasn't anything horrible and disgusting. She hoped that Bellatrix would see past her heritage and that the blood flowing through her veins didn't have an effect on the witch she was. Ever the optimist, Hermione had waited patiently so far, wanting the moment to come when there was a breakthrough and Bellatrix drastically changed her treatment of Hermione, even if her beliefs stayed the same. She had been wrong, however. There had been no signs or indications that Bellatrix had seen the error of her ways as far as Hermione was concerned, and if anything she seemed more determined than ever to torture her. There had been new forms of torture other than fire and curses, with Bellatrix using water (having her head shoved into what felt like an endless pool of water within her cell and feeling as though she was drowning had been one of the more hideous moments) and needles (a bed of them to be precise) also featuring. The only small mercy was that Bellatrix never let her skin scar, always taking the time to heal the most serious of injuries that she caused. Why this was Hermione didn't know, but she presumed it was because Bellatrix liked to see the damage being caused on fresh skin, preferring to see what a drastic effect she produced with her spells.

Bored, Hermione was sitting against the wall and daydreaming of freedom exactly fourteen days after she had first been imprisoned by Bellatrix, when the dark haired witch entered the room.

"Afternoon, sweetie," she said brightly, and Hermione forced herself not to roll her eyes. There was no need to antagonise Bellatrix if she was in a good (though utterly insane) mood and she should just enjoy it whilst she could.

"Good afternoon," Hermione replied formally, looking up at Bellatrix. There was something different about her, but Hermione couldn't put her finger on what exactly that something was.

"How are you today?" Bellatrix asked. "Keeping well?"

Some days, Bellatrix forced Hermione to go through a ridiculous process of asking pleasantries before she kicked off the torture. Of course, sometime she just entered firing off curses directed at Hermione and raging about something terrible that had happened, though she never told Hermione what these somethings that made her so angry were. Hermione assumed that it was whenever the Order had done something to hinder Voldemort, and so on these occasions she allowed herself a small surge of hope.

Even so, Hermione had no idea what the mundane questions were all about, though she guessed that it must be Bellatrix's way of attempting to lure her into a false sense of security, to get her relaxed before she attacked once more. Privately, she thought this was ludicrous. She had yet to fall for it so far, and she most definitely wouldn't at any future stage, and so it was about time Bellatrix just _gave up_.

"I'm fine," Hermione answered, tone polite and giving the same answer she had already given several times before. "And yourself?"

"Marvellous, thank you," Bellatrix said with a smile, and shocked, Hermione now noticed the difference in Bellatrix. Her teeth were shiny white, perfect against blood red lipstick. The magical dental work had improved her appearance drastically and increased her beauty tenfold; she now heavily resembled her picture on the tapestry from years ago, although of course she still looked gaunt and sickly. No doubt the stress she was currently under had an impact, but still, she looked like the woman she was meant to be and not a psychotic Death Eater.

Glancing downwards, Hermione took in the rest of her appearance. Her nails were now shorter, cleaner, no longer looking like claws but more human than ever before, although admittedly they were painted black. The rest of Bellatrix comprised of metal studded boots, midnight black clothes, heavy mascara on lashes that encircled chocolate brown eyes, raven coloured wild curls and defined cheekbones.

All in all, she looked _beautiful. Gorgeous. Hot._

"You... you..." Hermione stuttered, and then realised that she did _not_ want to say what she thought aloud. Moreover, she did not want Bellatrix to know what she was thinking, and so she hastily attempted Occlumency to the best of her limited ability. Racking her brains for something to finish the sentence with other than _beautiful, gorgeous_, or _hot,_ she blurted out, "listened to me."

Bellatrix raised an eyebrow. "I did not listen to you, Mudblood. I merely took notice of something that you brought to my attention and considered it myself," she spoke harshly, but the pleased look on her face calmed some of the worry that had started to bubble up within Hermione.

"Well, you look nice," Hermione said lamely.

"Nice? Just, _nice_?" Bellatrix said incredulously, looking slightly bewildered for a moment, before the confusion disappeared in another flash.

"What do you want me to say?" Hermione responded, hoping there hadn't been a trace of sarcasm in her voice. She tried not to allow her emotions get the better of her, instead choosing to remain as blank as possible and focused on keeping Bellatrix out of her mind. Now that her curiosity had been peaked, Hermione suspected that she was going to try and see what Hermione was thinking by using her Legilimency skills.

"I want you to speak the truth, filth. Tell me what you really think," Bellatrix demanded.

Hermione did her best to look puzzled at Bellatrix's order, whilst also keeping her mind clear and safe. "But I already did."

Bellatrix hissed. "Enough of this foolish time-wasting!"

And then it came. There was an active attack on her mind, Hermione could feel it. She tried not to let Bellatrix in, not wanting her to see her most private thoughts. She concentrated hard on protecting her mind and making sure that nothing related to Bellatrix slipped through. With great difficulty she thought about nothing, clearing her mind of anything and everything substantial as she had been practicing for hours at a time over the past couple of weeks.

Hermione did well. At first, anyhow. She blocked Bellatrix successfully, and she could easily sense the frustration pouring out of the older witch at the fact that she was unable to see the information she so badly desired. Hermione knew that she would most likely get tortured for this, that Bellatrix would try to weaken her defences, but it was worth it. Maybe next time, or the time after that, Bellatrix wouldn't do so well, and eventually, months from now, Hermione would be truly accomplished in the art of Occlumency.

And then it happened; the barrier broke. Bellatrix had managed to gain access and was invading her innermost thoughts; the time she fell off her very first bike at three... answering the door to Professor McGonagall with her invitation to Hogwarts... dancing with Krum at the Yule Ball... meeting Bellatrix for the very first time at the Ministry of Magic...

Random flashes appeared before her eyes, and she was entranced, watching them all intently before she realised that _bloody hell, Bellatrix can see this too!_ Focusing once more, knowing that any moment now something she did not want to be revealed would be, she put all her effort and might into resisting Bellatrix, and saw a memory of her laughing at Ron and Harry playing wizard's chest appear, followed by her sitting in a Defence Against the Dark Arts class. And then suddenly, it stopped. She slumped forward, breathing hard, and there were no more images; only an intense feeling of exhaustion.

"You have been practising Occlumency, I see," Bellatrix breathed. Lowering herself to the floor, she sat opposite Hermione, observing her.

"Yes," Hermione said, seeing no reason to deny it. Bellatrix would only be infuriated further by her lies. She felt weakened from the minor attack, but still aware of her surroundings and pleased that she had managed to defend herself relatively well.

"Have you only been practising since you have been here?" Bellatrix enquired, her tone of voice giving away nothing.

"Yes." _Why lie? She'll know._

Bellatrix paused, before she said grudgingly, "Then you have done well, Mudblood. You're a smart one, hmm?"

Hermione shrugged, making sure she hid her surprise and slightly absurd happiness at such praise. "I suppose you could say that. I just like to learn." And she did. She was naturally bright, she would admit that much, but the fact that she enjoyed reading, practising magic and learning about wonderful new things were the reasons that she was better than most others. If she hadn't put so much effort into her education then she wouldn't have been half as good as she was.

Bellatrix surveyed her, apparently considering her options. Hermione had no idea what was going on inside her head, but she seemed to be debating whether or not she should punish her. Nevertheless, Hermione wondered if she was so impressed by her attempt at Occlumency that she didn't want to take any further action or whether she was angry enough to inflict pain upon her. Not wanting to provoke her further if the latter was the case, Hermione waited patiently in silence until Bellatrix eventually spoke.

"I have to be honest; I'm in two minds here. Do I reward you for being intelligent enough to prove yourself a decent adversary, or do I curse you until you beg for mercy?" Bellatrix said, confirming what Hermione had already suspected.

Hermione gave a nervous smile. "My answer would be biased."

"I feel as though you've had an it easy since you've come to stay, but you've been well behaved other than a couple of incidents when you first arrived. It's a tough decision," Bellatrix pondered.

Shaking her head, Hermione couldn't let that particular comment of Bellatrix go without disagreeing. "I don't see how you can call being locked in a freezing cold cell, not being allowed to wash, only eating bread once a day, having to use a bucket as a toilet and sleeping on concrete flooring _easy_. You torture me everyday, you taunt me, call me names and humiliate me incessantly. It's _hell_."

Bellatrix laughed. "Oh dearie, you have no idea. You_ think _you've had a rough dragon ride; Rodolphus keeps his Mudbloods chained to the wall _naked_, and invites a select few over for wild parties on a regular basis. Would you prefer that?"

Hermione glared. She didn't care what Bellatrix said; she was not going to act as though she was grateful when quite frankly the mere suggestion that she had been treated well was a bizarre joke. She may not have to endure sexual torture, but she wasn't exactly having fun either. "At least your husband doesn't pretend to be anything he's not," she said calmly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Bellatrix demanded, stiffening. Her posture was a warning to Hermione that she should back down now and not give her the satisfaction of turning the conversation into an argument, as it would only end badly for Hermione herself as opposed to Bellatrix.

"It means that he doesn't chat _nicely_ to his captives, or randomly have _friendly_ chats with them," Hermione said bluntly. "They don't have to gauge his mood as he flits from happy to angry to insane like you do. What you see is what you get; at least with him there is consistency," Hermione answered, keeping her voice entirely polite, though the connotations behind her words were clear. _You're a deranged bitch, Bellatrix._

"_Fuck_ consistency," Bellatrix shot back. "That's boooooring!"

Not trusting herself to respond to this calmly, Hermione bit down on her tongue to stop herself from arguing. She tasted blood, and she flinched, cursing inwardly_. You're such an idiot_, she thought. _You suffer enough injuries from her, why do you need to cause your own as well? _

Once more considering Bellatrix's current behaviour, it was no wonder there were times when Hermione really couldn't work out what went on inside of her. The Death Eater seemed to enjoy causing her pain and suffering, yet at the same time she thrived on the conversations they had, treating Hermione as an equal when it came to level of intelligence. She knew that she was faced with a bright witch, and acknowledged that which was entirely unexpected from Hermione's point of view.

Nevertheless, she was still the worst walking nightmare that Hermione had ever had the misfortune of facing. Terrifying, ruthless, poisonous and despicable were just some of the many offensive adjectives that Hermione found herself using to describe Bellatrix in the relative safety of her own head. She was out for nobody but herself and Voldemort as far as Hermione could see. There was a dangerous glint in her eyes that seemed to rule over any hint of emotion that she showed, and Hermione didn't know how she could ever break that, mould it into something good. _Who's really the disgusting one here; me or you? _Hermione thought viciously.

"Kitty-cat got your tongue?" Bellatrix enquired with only a hint of sarcasm.

"No, I just don't trust myself to say anything that isn't offensive to you right now," Hermione shot back.

Bellatrix smirked. "You're ballsy for a Mudblood. I _like_ it," She confessed, twirling her wand. "I tell you what I'll do. We're going to play a game. For every... let's say five seconds of the Cruciatus curse that you can tolerate without screaming, I will give you one basic reward."

Hermione shook her head. "I don't want to do that."

"Too bad," Bellatrix said, mock-sorrow in her voice. "Because I do. _Crucio!_"

Despite Hermione's reluctance to play and the lack of any warning, something internal inside of her brain prevented her from crying out. She felt the by now familiar agony within; she was burning, bruising, tearing and bleeding inside all without it physically happening for real and only experienced the sensation. Nevertheless, considering the amount of times she had endured the curse over the past two weeks, she was strong enough to attempt the challenge at least, hoping it would be of benefit to herself.

The moment Bellatrix stopped attacking her, she slumped, hearing Bellatrix state, "Eleven seconds. That's two rewards you'll have!" She said, sounding happy. "I didn't expect you to do it, if I'm honest. You have willpower, ickle one."

Hermione ignored her, trying to get her breath back.

"It's a shame you're a Mudblood... could have done with someone such as yourself on our team," Bellatrix said, sounding deadly serious.

Unable to even think straight at the moment, Hermione ignored this comment, and focused on the only comment of real interest to her that Bellatrix had made. Quietly, she croaked, "What rewards?"

"Nothing too extravagant," Bellatrix mused. "I think your first reward can be a bath. Not yet though, let's say about three days' time?"

Giving a slow nod, Hermione took in the welcome news. No doubt Bellatrix was on some sort of power trip and hoping that Hermione kicked up a fuss so that she had yet another excuse to torture her and take away her gift. Not that she really needed a reason, but she seemed to be more enthusiastic about torturing Hermione if she felt that she truly deserved it.

Hermione was grateful of course, for the potential present, but she still couldn't quite work out why Bellatrix was being so nice to her in the first place. Unable to resist, she asked, "Why are you doing this? Is there some ulterior motive that is going to be sprung on me at the last minute as a nasty surprise?"

"Not at all," Bellatrix said, grinning. Once again Hermione focused on her perfect teeth, though this time she tried to stop herself from getting too distracted. "Now... what can your second reward be? Any suggestions?"

Hermione stared, wondering. She could only come up with one reason as to why Bellatrix would be so kind, and that was to lull her into a false sense of security before she struck again, making it all the more painful. She was the sort of Death Eater who truly loved inflicting pain and inducing fear in others, and so it was more than likely that this was the motive for her sudden generosity.

Playing along for the moment, knowing she should at least take advantage of what she was being offered so she got_ something _out of this situation, Hermione replied, "How about a bed? Or an actual toilet? Or proper food more regularly? Or all three?"

Bellatrix grinned. "I think that's just a tad greedy, don't you?" She leant in towards Hermione, and breathed in a low voice, "I'll have a think and get back to you."

Hermione suppressed a shiver, and disguised it with a sigh. She supposed she would just have to wait and see if Bellatrix followed through with her declaration. In the meantime, if she behaved herself properly, there was no reason why Bellatrix should refuse at the last moment unless she had already decided upon doing so purely to wind Hermione up and prove who was in charge. _Like I need reminding_, Hermione thought bitterly.

"You don't seem very happy," Bellatrix observed, taking note of Hermione's expression.

"I don't have a lot to be happy about at the moment," Hermione said quietly. "I miss my friends, I miss my parents and I miss my cat. I know I'll probably never see any of them again. You wouldn't know what that feels like."

Now, she felt bitter. For someone such as Bellatrix who didn't maintain normal human relationships and friendships, it would be impossible for her to understand the way that she felt at the moment. She didn't just miss everyone, she felt guilty for making them worry, for the fact that she was of no use to them locked away in a disgusting little cell, courtesy of Bellatrix Lestrange. No words could describe the intense pain that she constantly felt inside, that far outweighed any injury or torture that had been inflicted upon her so far. How could she put that into words? She_ couldn't_. Only someone in the same situation would be able to truly comprehend her thoughts.

"Excuse me? I was locked up for fourteen years in Azkaban!" Bellatrix shrieked, a sudden outburst echoing around the room. "I had to face Dementors every single moment of every day, sucking what life I had left inside me out. They may not have taken my soul, but they took enough... and you... you've barely been here two weeks and you DARE to tell me I don't know how it feels?"

"But you don't really feel, and you don't have friends," Hermione pointed out, somewhat cautiously, voice level. Even as she did so, her eyes fell to Bellatrix's neck where the number ninety-three was tattooed on her neck; a visible reminder of the fact that she had been incarcerated in Azkaban. "Since when did love matter to you?"

"I..." Bellatrix stopped. She appeared lost for words, surprising Hermione. Like the previous discussion when Hermione first arrived and provoked this kind of reaction from Bellatrix, she was vulnerable, and Hermione felt as though she had a small chance of getting through to her. She suspected that the time would arrive when Bellatrix tortured her for her declarations, and so she hoped that if she didn't push too hard, she could prevent any form of punishment.

"I'm not going to talk to you about your Lord," Hermione said quickly, trying to pacify the older witch. "I'm not breaking the rules; I know that subject is not up for discussion. I just mean that... I guess I assumed if you don't love, you don't miss people. If I've got that wrong, I'm sorry."

Bellatrix watched, her expression unreadable. She shuffled her legs underneath herself. "The Dark Lord does not allow for distractions as love; not when there is so much work to be done."

Hermione tried to hide her shock at Bellatrix revealing such a fact, assuming that it would count against her. Instead, she argued gently, "But... you being here now and torturing me... that isn't helping you get your work done. It's a distraction, isn't it? So if I wasn't here, you would have time for..."

"Oh I see," Bellatrix interrupted. "This a feeble attempt of yours to try and make me release your repulsive self, isn't it?"

"No!" Hermione protested, not wanting Bellatrix to become angry once more. She was always furious, so terribly furious. "But your sister... well she doesn't lock people up, does she? She spends her free time with her husband and son."

"My family is not up for discussion either," Bellatrix said in a low voice. "You know, I'm beginning to wonder if I should put a permanent silencing spell on your lovely little mouth... I'd much prefer you that way."

Hermione hoped that she wasn't blushing at the warped compliment she had just been paid, but she assumed that the heat emanating from her cheeks suggested that she indeed was. Swallowing, she forced herself to apologise again with only one word. "Sorry."

Bellatrix smirked at her, and Hermione wondered if she thought her blushes were because she was embarrassed because of the dressing down she had been given, or if the raven haired witch knew the real reason. She hoped that she didn't, because if she did there was no doubt her life would be even harder. Besides, she didn't fully understand why such a reaction had been stirred because of a simple flattering remark directed at herself; since when did she care what Bellatrix thought of her? She supposed she must be losing her mind after being locked away for so long, but until Bellatrix left her alone she wouldn't be able to figure it out.

"See, it's not so hard, is it _love_?" Bellatrix whispered. Hermione didn't fail to note the term of endearment used, and she forced herself to keep eye contact with Bellatrix, not wanting her to know that she was afraid, even if Legilimency was easier to perform this way. "Be a good girl and do as I say; I'm sure then we'll get along just fine in between the odd curse or two." She brushed a thumb against Hermione's cheek before she stood to leave, looking much calmer than she had a moment ago.

Heart thumping, Hermione watched as Bellatrix left. _Shit_, she mouthed silently. _Shit._

* * *

_**November 1964**_

_Defence Against the Dark Arts had been Bellatrix's favourite lesson since she had started at Hogwarts the previous year. She had shown a natural aptitude for it far beyond that of her classmates, and they were often in awe of her ability to fully comprehend a spell before they had even managed to pronounce the incantation required in the correct manner. Her fellow Slytherin's in the class admired her openly, whereas the Gryffindors either cast jealous looks her way or else ignored her entirely._

_All that changed when Sebastian Franklin decided to talk about Bellatrix on the way out of class after learning about the "Jelly Jinxes" which the young, raven haired girl had immediately shown aptitude at performing. Moreover, any attempt that had been made to jinx Bellatrix herself had been entirely unsuccessful, something that had apparently irritated Sebastian further._

"_It's bad enough that she can carry out jinxes herself with no difficulty... but actually being capable of defending herself against every attempt at retaliation is even worse. There's something not right about her," Sebastian confided in his friend, Melody Loonstar._

"_I know," Melody agreed. "From the moment I met Black I remember seeing the way she looked at people. It's like she's capable of anything."_

_Bellatrix considered this. Maybe she was capable of anything. Since she'd done as her parents said and began to value the purity of the blood in her veins, proving that she would make her family proud and associate with the right kind of wizards and witches, life had improved for her. Her father no longer shouted at her as much, and her mother actually had real adult conversations with her now. It was nice, she thought. She felt like for once she was close to her family, and she would let nothing get in the way of that; especially not a couple of arrogant Gryffindors who thought they could talk about her behind her back. This time last year that would have hurt her to hear, but now she rose above it, allowing the anger to seep out of every pore of her body._

"_She most likely is. Arthur told me that her family are pure-blood maniacs... they hate Muggle-borns like me and think they're somehow better."_

_Closing in behind the gossiping pair, Bellatrix hissed at them, "Maybe I am."_

_Jumping, they span around, Sebastian withdrawing his wand (Melody soon copied) and pointing it directly at Bellatrix. "Don't you dare try anything, Black."_

_Bellatrix laughed, and casually drew out her own wand, not taking the trouble to move swiftly. "I suggest you watch what you're saying from now on then," she drawled. "Now, I know we only practiced the Jelly-Fingers and Jelly-Legs Jinxes, and not the Jelly-Brain one as it's much more dangerous, but I've just been itching to try it. Which one of you would like to be the subject?"_

_All around them, people had stopped, forming a circle as they watched the arguing students. Most of them gazed at Bellatrix fearfully, and Melody and Sebastian in horror, probably at the fact that they were provoking Bellatrix further._

"_You will not lay a finger on Melody you disgusting little..."_

"_SILENCIO!" Bellatrix roared, and she waved her wand several times. Sebastian immediately stopped making any sound, and then, the incantations that Bellatrix had added silently in her head to her verbal spell took effect, and Sebastian began dancing wildly, a vacant expression on his face._

"_You... what have you done?" Melody shouted, looking scared._

"_I'd have thought that was obvious," Bellatrix said dryly. _

"_But you didn't..."_

"_Say the incantation?" Bellatrix interrupted her. "That's because I used a non-verbal spell." She silently thanked her father for teaching her the mechanics involved in this, and at the fact it had paid off for the first time. _

_Melody looked terrified, an expression echoed by many of the surrounding students watching. Non-verbal spells were a difficult feat to pull off at NEWT level, and to perform it as only a second year was unheard of. _

"_You know... I've taught your Mudblood friend a lesson for his rudeness, but it's your turn now," Bellatrix announced. "I think we'll go for something different this time though." She thought for a couple of seconds, and then, not wanting to risk being attacked first she thrust her wand in Melody's direction, thinking to herself, _Impedimenta!

_It worked far better than she expected, and Melody was thrown ten feet in the air against the wall opposite. She sank to the floor, groaning, and a confused looking Sebastian danced over her way. _

_Bellatrix faced the crowd of people around her. There were a few grinning Slytherins amongst the rest of the terrified faces of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Spotting a couple of Gryffindors whom she didn't know the names of, Bellatrix addressed them, "I'll leave you to deal with them. After all, you Gryffindors can do anything, _right_?" She fixed them with a hard stare, daring any one of them to defy her. When she was met with silence, she turned away from her fellow students, and left for her next class, a satisfied expression on her face. _


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for all the reviews you lovely people! I will answer the reviews that require an answer, but know that I appreciate them all regardless.

**LazehWritahGurl36**- I hope I didn't ruin the game too badly for you, hehe.

** greeneleka-** I imagine if this pairing was in the books it would traumatise A LOT of children out there. Would have been awesome in the films though, don't you think? 

**ladygoddess8**- they did have a fairly similar start, you're right. I find it interesting how people can have similar experiences but react differently for a variety of reasons, such as family, personality, upbringing. 

**Anti-Gravity111-** I am honoured by such praise. I promise to keep the updates as regular as life allows me too, but regardless, know that this WILL be finished and I won't leave it incomplete as that's my own pet hate about fics.

As far as the flashbacks are concerned, they aren't in every chapter, but there are many throughout so don't worry if you enjoy them! And Lemmy won't be in every chapter either but will continue to feature._  
_

* * *

_Sorry you can't define me_

_Sorry I break the mold_

_Sorry that I speak my mind_

_Sorry don't do what I'm told_

_Christina Aguilera, Stripped_

* * *

_**5.**_

There was something about Bellatrix that had confused Hermione entirely. Before she had met the Death Eater, when all she had heard about were the heinous crimes the vicious witch had committed, Hermione felt she was utterly abhorrent. She couldn't believe that anyone could be so cruel for such a pointless reason. _Blood._ In the same way that racism existed in the Muggle world, pure-blood supremacy caused unnecessary divides in the wizarding world. The extremes that Bellatrix had gone to for Voldemort made no sense to Hermione; what had she ever gained from torturing people other than perverse pleasure? A pleasure that for the most part was likely down to an unhealthy bitterness over the treatment she received in Azkaban and before that motivated by a hate for Muggle-borns that most likely derived from her parents.

More than ever, Hermione wanted to see what was going on in Bellatrix's head. She didn't want to see her memories as such (although that would be interesting) but to understand the way she felt about the world around her. As someone who very much enjoyed learning, Hermione was intrigued by Bellatrix, and despite her horrible personality, she wanted to delve deeper and see exactly what made the older woman tick and why. It was a shame that she wasn't an accomplished Legilimens, for at least then she would have some idea about what went on inside Bellatrix's mind, and what inspired her to do such evil, terrifying things.

Surprisingly, true to her word, three days later Bellatrix did allow Hermione to have a bath. However, it was not without conditions, and Hermione did not allow herself to be too pleased for fear that this was just another one of Bellatrix's games. She was not exactly filled with confidence from the word go, when on their way to the bathroom, her hands were bound together tightly by magical restraints. Hermione suspected this was partly to deter her from an attempt at escape, but also because Bellatrix wanted to make things just that little bit more difficult for her. Through the hallways, she walked in front of the older witch, who spoke only to direct her with commands such as "Go right" and "Walk upstairs" on their journey through the elaborate manor house.

"Is this your house?" Hermione asked curiously once they had reached the bathroom. She stood next to Bellatrix, observing it in awe. It was a large room made of white marble, with a deep, wide bathtub (that looked more like a mini-swimming pool) positioned against the farthest wall from the door.

"It was my parent's house," Bellatrix replied. "Myself and Narcissa inherited it entirely, though Narcissa has no desire to live here considering that she and Lucius have Malfoy Manor for headquarters. Technically I could stay at the Lestrange property but sometimes I prefer to be alone; especially when the Dark Lord is away."

Hermione was surprised at the civil, revealing answer she had been provided with, but chose not to comment on this. However, she did consider the impersonal, detached way in which Bellatrix referred to the home she shared with husband extremely odd to say the least. Bellatrix talked of Rodolphus as though he were a distant acquaintance. Nevertheless, not wanting to cause trouble when Bellatrix was being so kind to her, Hermione simply replied, "Lucky." How many other people out there had the choice of living in three different homes?

"Yes, lucky," Bellatrix agreed. "I take it that means you like it, Mudblood?"

"It's nice," Hermione said truthfully. She wasn't overly keen on the Dark objects displayed in the hallway or the lack of light and cheerful colours, but all in all, it was a beautiful property. Had it been decorated differently it would be the sort of home she would be happy to live in. There were many shades of green surrounding each room that could most likely be attributed to Salazar Slytherin, but regardless, it was an outstanding manor that Hermione never would have imagined Bellatrix to live in. Really, it put Grimmauld Place to shame, even if it did outnumber it as far as the amount of Dark objects were concerned.

Bellatrix laughed. "Only nice? I'd have thought coming from a foul Muggle dwelling that your parents no doubt own that such grandeur would impress you more."

The insult against her mother and father, not to mention her childhood home, sent a surge of anger through Hermione. "Actually, my home is lovely. My parents' are qualified dentists; they earn a lot of money." She refrained from stating any specifics as to what they were currently doing. If Bellatrix called her on it she would say that they still worked as dentists and hopefully by employing Occlumency against Bellatrix prevent her from finding out about the memory charm she had placed upon them, thereby still keeping them safe. It was unlikely that Bellatrix would go to the effort of tracking them down anyhow now that she had Hermione as a bargaining tool, but it was best to be sure. Who was to say she wouldn't torture them in front of Hermione if she had the opportunity?

"Dentists?" Bellatrix repeated sounding appalled rather than confused. Hermione knew that it was because she deemed anything Muggle-related disgusting, but still decided to explain anyway.

"They take care of people's teeth," she stated patiently. "They make sure they are healthy, and if someone has a pain in their tooth then a dentist will diagnose and treat it. It's a very good job."

"Why wouldn't a Muggle just use a potion so the pain went away?" Bellatrix said, now sounding ever so slightly curious. Hermione forced back a smirk at the realisation, and decided she would enjoy the memory of the older witch's curiosity about Muggles later on.

"Muggles don't have potions," Hermione informed her. "They have what we call 'tablets' that they swallow for lots of different diseases and illnesses, but sometimes outside intervention is required. So, for example, if a Muggle has tooth decay, a dentist might drill a hole in the infected enamel and put a filling in there."

"Drill? Filling? You're not making sense!" Bellatrix said, sounding frustrated by her failure to understand what Hermione was telling her. "Are you mocking me you arrogant little cow?"

Feeling elated at the position of strength she was suddenly in, (intellectually speaking of course) Hermione explained things more basically. "If the tooth goes black because it's rotting, a dentist will probably get a drill which is made of metal and about this big," she gestured with her hands. "They make a hole in the tooth to get rid of all the diseased area, which is called tooth decay. Then, they will fill it up with a substance, so that the tooth no longer hurts."

Bellatrix pondered Hermione's words for a few moments. "And Muggles invented how to do that?"

Hermione nodded.

Against her will, Bellatrix looked impressed. Suppressing a grin once more, Hermione asked, "Does that make sense?"

"Yes, of course," Bellatrix snapped, but she didn't meet Hermione's eye, leading her to believe that Bellatrix might still not fully understand.

"Muggles can be smart too, considering they don't have magic," Hermione said, hoping that she wasn't pushing her luck. "It's interesting. If you like, I could teach you about different things in the Muggle world."

"And why would I want you to do that?" Bellatrix asked snidely. "The only reason I asked about your parents is because it may be useful information should I decide to kill them in the future."

_Ignore her,_ Hermione thought. _Ignore the sickness inside. Smile. Move on._ And so she replied calmly, "I'm not saying you do... it was just an offer."

Bellatrix looked her up and down. "Merlin, you actually_ mean _what you say, don't you?" she said, sounding bewildered.

Hermione smiled at Bellatrix, genuinely, for the first time. Maybe if she could break down some of the older woman's defences, this entire experience would become a hell of a lot easier for her. There was no way on earth that Bellatrix was going to suddenly start caring about her, but over time she might be able to sneakily persuade the raven haired witch to treat her just the tiniest bit better than she currently was.

"You have an obsession with teeth," Bellatrix said, evidently thinking back to their previous discussions, and her now perfect set of teeth that were spurred on by comments Hermione had made.

Hermione grinned, wider now. "It's my parents' influence."

For a split second, Bellatrix looked like she wanted to return the smile, but she hid it so rapidly that Hermione wondered if she had imagined it. Bellatrix was much more complex than she had thought her to be; she took pleasure in hurting Hermione, but at the same time seemed to want to have real conversations with her, and seemed truly interested in what she had to say. Ever since she had met Bellatrix for the first time in the Ministry, Hermione had always imagined her to be the toughest of all Death Eaters, but now she was beginning to wonder if she was in fact the best of a bad bunch. _Either that or her insanity has spread to me._

Bellatrix pointed her wand at the bath, and water immediately began to pour out of one of the taps. She then turned back to Hermione. "I'm going to remove your restraints now," she announced. "But if I so much as suspect that you're up to something, or that you're going to try and escape, I will make you wish you had never been born."

"I understand," Hermione said quietly. And she did. Under no circumstance was she going to attempt to get one over on Bellatrix; it wasn't worth the risk.

Bellatrix observed her for a few more moments, and then flicking her wand, undid the invisible binds around Hermione's wrists. At once Hermione felt liberated; the most she had since her imprisonment began. The urge to run was tempting, but she was far too sensible to even debate risking it, for Bellatrix would never allow her to leave the house alive. Instead, she did as was asked of her, and stood still, waiting. All she wanted was to launch herself into the bath straight away and cleanse herself for the first time in weeks. Maybe then she would be able to think more clearly, find a way out of this if she could just think hard enough. She was getting better at Occlumency, she sensed it. Any plan she formed would hopefully be hidden from Bellatrix, so long as her behaviour wasn't suspicious enough that Bellatrix tortured her for information as to what she was up to. _Which she will, if she suspects._

"Get in," Bellatrix instructed, when she had used her wand to turn on the water and fill the bath up.

"You're staying?" Hermione asked, dumbstruck. Stupidly, she had assumed she would be left alone. At most, she thought that Lemmy would have been called up to observe her.

Bellatrix huffed, exasperated. "I'm not an idiot; do you really think that I'm going to leave you unattended? There's no telling what you might decide to do."

"But there's no way I can escape," Hermione protested. "I'll sing all the time if you want, so you know I'm still here."

"This isn't up for discussion," Bellatrix said sharply. "Either do as you're told and get in the bath now, or you can go back to your cell."

Torn, Hermione racked her brains for what to do. There was no way that Bellatrix was going to leave, but then how could she bathe in front of the Death Eater? It would be a humiliating, uncomfortable experience. _Maybe if..._

"Will you at least turn around?" Hermione pleaded as soon as the idea occurred to her.

Bellatrix laughed cruelly. "I didn't have you down as the shy type, Mudbaby..."

"Please," Hermione said, begging now. "_Please_."

Bellatrix considered her request for a few moments, and then answered, "No."

"Why not?" Hermione asked, feeling the closest to upset she had since she had first been taken. There was no reason why Bellatrix couldn't do as she asked, at least until she was in the bath. There were no bubbles but at least the water would partially hide her once she was in there.

"Because you need to learn obedience," Bellatrix informed her threateningly. "I'm not standing around waiting anymore; either get into that bath in the next thirty seconds or I will curse you down the stairs, bouncing your muddy little face off each step you go down!"

Knowing that Bellatrix meant every word, Hermione didn't debate any longer. Her need to feel clean ultimately won over her embarrassment, and so hastily, without allowing herself to think about what she was doing, Hermione tore her clothes off, throwing them down on the floor beside her. As she removed her socks, her jeans, her long-sleeved top, then bra and panties, she kept her eyes focused on the bath, not allowing herself to look at Bellatrix. When she was entirely naked, she launched herself towards the bath, jumping in.

She yelped.

The bath felt like ice. The coldness had spread through her entire body, enveloping the areas of skin that weren't even touching the water. Several times per second there was a stab of pain that coursed through ever nerve inside her, forcing up a silent scream in her throat that she kept smothered for fear of Bellatrix cursing her. This was a test of some kind, she was almost certain of it. Maybe Bellatrix wanted to see how tough she really was. _Or maybe, she just wants to hurt me. Sadist._

"Is there a problem?" Bellatrix said lightly with a smirk.

Wrapping her arms around herself to protect her modesty as well as attempt to keep herself warm, Hermione stayed in the water, somehow intrinsically aware that the moment she got out was the moment that she would be dragged back to her cell and punished for not putting up with the icy temperature. Or maybe she would be thrown back into the bath regardless, and forced to endure the Cruciatus Curse at the same time. _No no no._

Her teeth chattering, Hermione said somewhat stupidly, "Wh-why does it have to be so cold?"

"You didn't say anything about wanting it to be hot," Bellatrix responded, playing innocent. "And everything else you need is already laid out for you."

"I th-thought it was ob-obvious," Hermione forced out, trying to ignore the agonising cold. "I don't want a boiling ba-bath, but a warm one would b-be amazing." She shouldn't ask, shouldn't question, but this was bloody freezing and had chilled the cogs in her mind, preventing her brain from working properly.

"Well now, I think someone's being a spoilt little Mudblood," Bellatrix said jeeringly, though Hermione did not note her expression as she still refused to look at her. "You should make the most of what you've been granted."

It was a lost cause, Hermione thought. There was no point arguing with Bellatrix, and so she made the best of a horrendous situation, and quickly began washing herself, knowing the faster she moved the faster it would be over. She ran a generous amount of shampoo through her hair, rubbing it into her scalp quickly, before she noticed the toothbrush, toothpaste and razor also left to the side, evidently for her.

_The razor._

It'd be so easy... one quick swipe and she could be bleeding out from an artery and dying in minutes. Would Bellatrix be able to stop her? With a bit of luck Bellatrix wouldn't want to touch her filthy blood and so would leave her to perish. Get another prisoner and update her icky little Mudblood. Hermione wouldn't live to see Voldemort defeated, but it wasn't as if that really mattered anymore, because the way things were looking at the moment, it was close to impossible to rid the world of him. There were Horcruxes here, there and everywhere and the chance of her surviving this situation was less than zero.

Unfortunately, she was smart enough to realise that the chance of Bellatrix healing her before death and the likelihood of punishment afterwards forced her to discount this idea. She would bring her back to life only to torture her as a punishment for attempting to change the rules of the game which such drastic action. Therefore, she ignored all suicidal thoughts and began to brush her teeth, relishing the clean taste as she scrubbed at her gums, adoring the flavour of mint in her mouth, the fresh feeling inside._ Yum!_

_So cold._

No. No, she wouldn't think of that. She had to stay focused! Moving on from brushing her teeth, she began ridding herself of body hair, all the while hating that Bellatrix was probably watching her every move. Surprisingly, she felt her cheeks flush despite the cold as she imagined Bellatrix silently observing every small movement, waiting for the time when she would be able to mock something that Hermione was doing.

_Icy cold. Cold, cold._

Her hands shook as she moved on from shaving her underarms to her legs. She removed her body hair in record time, and though she debated whether there was any point in shaving her more private areas, she decided that she may as well take advantage of it now that she had the opportunity.

"Expecting a fuck, are we?" Bellatrix said crudely.

"Hopefully not," Hermione shot back, the cold provoking her temper.

Bellatrix merely seemed amused though, as she stated, "You're probably a virgin anyway, aren't you? Dirty blood means no one will want to go near you."

Angry, Hermione quickly finished shaving, not wanting to cut herself. Bellatrix was right; she was a virgin. It was entirely through her own choice, however, not because the opportunities hadn't been there. No way was she going to admit this to Bellatrix though, to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she was right. Angry, she slammed the razor next to her and reached for the soap, proceeded to rub it over every inch of her skin several times over. Once she had done this, she took a breath to calm herself, and avoiding eye contact to make Legilimency harder, she smugly lied, "Actually, quite a few people have wanted me over the years; two of whom were _pure-bloods_."

Bellatrix made a sort of half strangled noise. "Blood traitors," she spat.

"Blood doesn't matter to some wizards and witches," Hermione said calmly. Trembling all over by this point through rage and the near freezing temperature of the water, Hermione began rinsing the shampoo out of her hair._ Bloody traitors like Ron? _The voices in her head wouldn't leave her alone, and they meshed themselves into the cold, paining her further.

"It matters to me," Bellatrix hissed. Her voice sounded closer now, and Hermione couldn't help turning to see where she stood, right next to the bath. "Disgusting little _slut_."

Not even deigning to respond, Hermione wiped the last of the suds from her forehead. Relieved that despite the cold and her violent shivering, she actually felt clean, she announced, "I'm done." She stood shaking, and immediately felt warmth hit her the moment she stepped out of the bath next to Bellatrix; a contrast to how one usually felt when they exited from a relaxing soak and left behind the heat.

Bellatrix raised her eyebrows. Defiantly, Hermione stared back, her arms folded over her chest, chiding herself internally not to shiver so much. Expression changing, Bellatrix's dark eyes moved downwards, sweeping over Hermione's body, over every inch of skin. She paused around the area of her midriff and stopped once more when her orbs reached Hermione's cleavage, more pronounced as she had pressed her breasts together in her attempt to cover them.

Noting Bellatrix's line of sight, the words were out of Hermione's mouth before she could stop herself. "See something you like?" she asked sarcastically.

Taken aback, Bellatrix snapped her eyes back up to Hermione's face immediately. "Don't flatter yourself, filth."

"If you think I'm filth then maybe you shouldn't look at me in that way," Hermione said, before she could stop herself.

Quick as a flash and Bellatrix had her by throat, slammed against the wall. She was careful to keep her body close to Hermione for control, but just far away enough for them not to actually be touching. "I warned you about speaking out of turn," Bellatrix said, her voice low. "I sense the need for another Cruciatus session, hmm? Shall I have you laid out on the flood naked, legs spread as you scream in pain?"

Hermione resisted the urge to say, _"You'd like that"_ aware that it would most likely be the final straw before Bellatrix followed through with her threats. Instead, she choked out, "N-no."

"No?" Bellatrix repeated, her attractive facial features contorted horribly. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't."

"I'm sorry," Hermione said, trying to sound remorseful, even though she didn't really think she'd done anything wrong. Bellatrix spoke to her like crap incessantly; why couldn't she be allowed to retaliate once in a while? After being forced to endure a freezing cold bath, she wasn't feeling as charitable towards the Death Eater as she usually was. Keeping her temper, knowing it wouldn't help, she rasped, "I'm j-just cold, I su-suppose, and not thinking straight." Her gaze focused on Bellatrix, praying that the hardened look in her dark brown eyes would soften, even a little. She did her best to look innocent and apologetic even managing to pout a little.

Apparently it worked, as Bellatrix gave her an unidentifiable look, loosed her grip on her throat, and summoned a towel silently from the shelf to the left of her. She threw it at Hermione, who immediately wrapped it around herself, and stepped backwards.

"You are pretty," Bellatrix said finally. "For a Mudblood, of course."

Hermione suppressed the ridiculous urge to smile at this declaration, and retaliated, "Well, you would be pretty too, if it weren't for the warped expression you constantly wear on your face."

Mouth slightly open, Bellatrix seemed shocked that Hermione had delivered such a comeback. It was just the right amount of praise, mixed in with an insult that wasn't quite an insult, and Hermione _knew_ that Bellatrix _knew_ that was what she intended it to come across as.

"Considering I hold your general wellbeing in my hands at the moment, do you really think it's a good idea to speak to me like that?" Bellatrix asked, in Hermione's opinion, rather lamely. There was no slap, jinx or curse to deal with, just questioning words. And that, Hermione could handle.

"You'd torture me even if I told you how much I loved you and begged for you to keep me here forever," Hermione said dryly.

"I've told you, I could make this a lot worse for you," Bellatrix warned, her eyes carefully locked on Hermione's.

"I know," Hermione replied, believing her. "But the point I'm trying to make is no matter what my behaviour is like, you're in control. And I don't think you really care about how nice I am to you... if anything, you probably prefer it when I defy you because it gives you an excuse to hurt me more." She sighed. "Not that you need one, but it's a way that you can justify it, telling yourself I deserve it."

Bellatrix observed Hermione, twirling her wand around in her fingers. "How do you do that?" she asked.

"Do what?" Hermione said, feeling the water from her hair drip down her back, and brushed it away. She was still cold, but less so now that she didn't have to deal with the horrendously frosty water surrounding her.

"Read me without using Legilimency?"

"Huh?" Hermione said, confused, and then she realised what Bellatrix meant. "Oh. Well, I guess I just pay attention to the way you treat me."

Bellatrix inclined her head to the side, indicating that Hermione should continue.

Hermione flicked her wet hair back from her face, and held her arms around her towelled self. "In the Muggle world, in some schools they teach a subject called psychology. Part of it is studying the human mind, and people's behaviours and characteristics. Even though I couldn't learn it at Hogwarts, I used to read books on it all the time."

"Fascinating," Bellatrix said sarcastically. "But that doesn't actually answer my question."

Realising that she quite literally had to spell it out for Bellatrix, remaining patient, Hermione explained, "Well that's how I can read you, from studying psychology. I can tell from the way your voice is, your body language, your behaviour... it allows me to look beyond the obvious of whether you're happy, angry or whatever. It helps me to work you out."

Bellatrix remained silent. Whether she was impressed or not Hermione wasn't entirely sure, but she was certain that there was no anger hidden in Bellatrix's expression, and so she didn't worry too much.

"And... and I don't blame you, not really. If you've been brought up hating Muggle-borns like me then that's probably the way you're going to think for the rest of your life. From your family, Sirius was just an odd exception," Hermione added.

Clearing her throat, Bellatrix stated, "And my sister, too."

Hermione frowned. "Your sister? Narcissa?"

"Andromeda," Bellatrix said bitterly. "She's a Mudblood-lover. She_ married_ one. They defiled the reputation of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black."

Remaining quiet for a moment, Hermione considered what was best for her to say right now considering how little she knew about Andromeda. She didn't want to annoy Bellatrix, but the Death Eater was revealing more information to her than she had ever deemed to be possible. It was as though she wanted to tell Hermione such personal things to talk about them, to have someone to listen who was not in a position of power to reveal what she had told them to Voldemort. As if in some warped way, she almost trusted Hermione.

"You can't help who you fall in love with," Hermione said softly. "As much as we want to, we can't control it."

"I disagree."

"You... but how can you disagree?" Hermione asked, confused. "Surely even you don't believe that love can be forced?"

"Controlling the actual love and forcing it not to exist? _No_, that's not possible. Controlling whether or not we act on it? _Yes_, I believe we can do that," Bellatrix said, somewhat ferociously.

"But why bother? I mean, if both parties are consenting adults, then why does it matter what blood status they are, or how old, or what sex for example?" Hermione responded.

"It matters because anything even slightly out of the norm will be judged!" Bellatrix exclaimed. She said it as though she were making an entirely obvious point and that the whole world should agree with her. It was a state-the-obvious sort of mockery that Hermione severely disliked.

"Judged by Him, you mean?" Hermione said quietly, scared that she would provoke Bellatrix's wrath.

"Yes. My master approves of my marriage to Rodolphus, and so that is what is important to me," Bellatrix said fiercely.

Hermione bit down on her lip. There was a question that she wanted to ask, but was unsure of how to go about it without Bellatrix going utterly insane at her. Ok, so this was an almost normal conversational debate that they were currently having, but that didn't mean Hermione should be lulled into a false sense of security, for she had to remember that she was still face to face with a Death Eater; the woman who tortured her on a daily basis just because she felt like it.

Hesitantly, she began. "I just... don't you..." She stopped. Starting again, she asked nervously, "Would you never even consider giving up your Lord for love? I don't mean lust, or maybe-love; I'm referring to a forever-love that consumes you so completely you can think of nothing else."

Bellatrix frowned. "I may not be in love with my Master, but I will do anything to serve him. I have no need for love."

"But... but that's exactly the point. You're his servant, not his lover," Hermione said, sure that any moment now Bellatrix was going to curse her. "You haven't even given yourself a chance at real love rather than habitual infatuation, because you have been so irrevocably obsessed with someone who wouldn't think twice about obliterating you if you so much as talked back to him. And he will _never_ love you back; he's not capable of it."

Bellatrix stared, and her face grew even paler than usual. "Stop."

"No, Bellatrix, because you need to hear this," Hermione insisted, beginning to feel powerful, the fear having faded. "You can do whatever you want to me in a moment, but for now, just listen. I see, ok? I can see that you've been brainwashed. And me... the Order... whoever... well we can help you. We'll protect you and then when he's gone, and _he will be gone_, you can be sure of that," Hermione said, (determined to make herself believe it as well as Bellatrix) "Then you can live your life. I'm not saying that you have to go out and marry a Muggle, but you can make your own choices, see your sisters and family again."

"If I renounced The Dark Lord, I would not live to tell the tale!" Bellatrix exclaimed. "And if by some miracle I did survive, Andromeda may want to see me again, but certainly wouldn't want to see her!" She raised her wand, looking as though any moment now she was going to cause serious, intense pain to Hermione.

Sensing the danger, Hermione attempted to placate her. "Bellatrix, I'm sorry I just-"

"Do not call me that!" Bellatrix shrieked. "You are dirt and have no right to!" She breathed deeply in a seeming attempt to calm herself. "You are out of line, Mudblood. Way out of line! This Muggle power you call psychology... you are no longer to perform it on me! Ever!"

Hermione opened her mouth to make another attempt at speaking, when Bellatrix slapped her, the sound echoing off the walls. Evidently feeling this wasn't enough, she punched Hermione so hard that her head cracked back against the wall, and she felt a trickle of blood begin to seep from her nose. Her vision blurred from the extent of the pain, but she forced herself to listen to Bellatrix, not wanting to be punished for ignoring her.

"This is what is going to happen," she stated, voice slightly calmer after her assault on Hermione. "You are going to go back to your cell wearing your towel, which is your new outfit, by the way, and I am going to burn your disgusting Muggle clothes. There will be no second reward considering the lies that have just spewed from your mouth. Do you understand?"

Hermione nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She had been doing so well, but now, she had monumentally screwed up, possibly caused irreversible damage. _Nice one, idiot,_ she chastised herself.

"Good," Bellatrix said. She grabbed Hermione's hair, pulling hard on it. Dragging her forwards, she kept her wand level with Hermione's head, ready to attack her if necessary.

_There's really no need,_ Hermione thought. Only an idiot would provoke Bellatrix when she was in a mood like this. _Because of me,_ Hermione cursed herself._ I put her in this mood, and it's me who is going to suffer the consequences. _


	6. Chapter 6

**OpheliaBlack** - Your review made me laugh so much... loving the use of a certain word there! Glad you like the song choices. 

**Kriszti7- **I'm glad to hear that my updates brighten up your day and that you find the fic realistic. You're right on the psychology front, and I think in many ways that makes Psychology just as powerful as Legilimency.

**ladygoddess8**- Yes, that's exactly why Bellatrix resorts to inflicting violence on others. I always imagine Bellatrix to be a very lonely character which I think contributes to her insane behaviour, which is why sometimes when she is having conversations with Hermione she responds in a fairly normal and intelligent way as the loneliness isn't holding her back. Obviously that's a fairly basis analysis but I don't want to bore anybody too much with my thoughts when many of them are obvious from my writing. Thank you once again. 

**Anti-Gravity11- **Thank you for calling me intelligent... I do try! I'm just the sort of person that works really hard at everything I do so I'm glad that shows through my writing. If you ever require any help with a HP fic if you do decide to write it then give me a shout and I'll do my best to be of use. Call it payback for the praise you've given me! 

**wolfzero7- **I really want to answer your review fully as I sense you've discovered what I'm referring to but I don't want to ruin the surprise for people! I will however say this, there is actual ancient magic involved and it isn't as clear cut as a one word answer.

**aurorstorm**- I'm glad I inspire you! Thank you for considering this the best fic you've ever read... I won't get too excited until you see where I take this yet as you may end up hating it for all I know! I've already spent months working on this from start to finish so hopefully you will continue to enjoy it. Oh and I agree, I too love the intelligent and beautiful side of Bellatrix. 

**Mrs. Waffles- **First point I'll make is that Hermione isn't yet in love with Bellatrix. Secondly, I hope you do consider what will be revealed in the future to be realistic within this universe. I understand your reservations and if it's bothering you massively then send me a PM and I'll explain more about where I'm taking this, but I don't want to reveal too much here as it may ruin it for some readers. Thank you for taking the time to let me know your thoughts, however, much appreciated.

**Whurm-** Glad I'm not the only one who finds an angry Bellatrix hot, hehe. 

**miluvrox- **There will be more flashbacks. I suppose if you dislike them that much you can skip reading them, but I have included them so that the current plot makes more sense to people and they see more of who Bellatrix is. Also, this current flashback actually refers to the point you've made about Bellatrix marriage. Anyhow, thank you for the review! 

**greenelek- **Third response. : P Thanks for the praise on Hermione as the protagonist, I actually found her really difficult to write in parts so I'm happy to hear you think I've done a good job! Totally agree with your point on people fearing what they don't understand, and I think in the world of HP, Voldemort uses the Death Eater's lack of understanding about Muggles to drive their hatred further.

Phew... lot of replies to reviews this time, but when people take the time to review with questions or detailed thoughts I feel it's only right to respond. As always, hope you enjoy the update and thanks to everyone else who reviewed as you've made months of hard work on this fic even more worthwhile!

* * *

_So unimpressed, but so in awe_

_Such a saint, but such a whore_

_So self-aware, so full of shit_

_So indecisive, so adamant_

_Robbie Williams, Come Undone_

* * *

_**6.**_

_**January 1968**_

_Walking the corridors of Hogwarts late at night gave Bellatrix a sense of freedom. Most of the time it wasn't even like she was doing anything wrong; she just liked to be alone, prowling around with no one to answer to. The teachers didn't usually patrol the corridors; it was after all said that Hogwarts was the safest place in the entire UK magical kingdom. With Professors such as Dumbledore, (Headmaster of Hogwarts and genius of the wizarding world) that possessed intelligent minds, there was no need or reason to feel anything but safe within the school grounds._

_For her part, Bellatrix didn't like to be protected, but rather to do the protecting herself. She may have been born a girl, but that didn't mean she couldn't be just as smart (smarter) or strong (stronger), than any male. Especially not Rodolphus Lestrange, she thought bitterly. Her parents had been hinting for months that when she left Hogwarts they expected nothing less of her than to become a kept woman, relying on Rodolphus for anything and everything she could ever need. In time, after they had enjoyed life as a newly-wed couple, Bellatrix would go on to have honourable, pure-blooded children, thereby upholding the Black family name. Or rather, Lestrange, as she would become._

_It was enough to make her sick._

_Still, she would do it, because that was the right thing to do. She would hate every moment of her wedding, of the marriage, but they were what was expected of her and therefore she would do as she was told. Bellatrix would not be the one to bring shame upon the family no matter how much she might find that Mudblood witch in Gryffindor attractive, because it was completely and utterly wrong, disgusting and vile. Pure-bloods could not even consider dating half-bloods when their surname was Black, so Mudblood's were out of the question entirely._

_No matter how not-hideous they really were, and no matter how beautiful they appeared to be. _

_If she could abide by that rule, then why couldn't Andromeda? Her stupid sister had gone and fallen for a stupid Mudblood, and Bellatrix just knew the moment her parents found out there would be hell to pay. At the moment, the only people who had seen Andromeda holding hands with Ted Tonks had been Bellatrix and Narcissa. Seeing as Narcissa had ran off to her dormitory crying like a baby upon first sight, Bellatrix had been left to yell a few choice words at the startled teenagers before she stormed off, hiding herself in the Room of Requirement where she bounced curses and hexes off the walls, raging and screaming where nobody could hear her. Better that than cursing her own flesh and blood, she concluded angrily._

_The worst thing was the fact that part of her, a tiny, miniscule piece inside, secretly envied Andromeda for having the guts to go after what she really wanted. For all her strength, power and intelligence, Bellatrix was far too proud to ever contemplate letting her parents down in such a fashion. Her parents would never understand for as long as they lived, and she would be an outcast, left to fend for herself in a world that she never wanted to leave. And besides, it was an unthinkable sin to allow dirty, revolting blood to touch and affect her in such a way._

_No; Andromeda was weak. Weak, pathetic, and an utter idiot._

_Still furious even after leaving the Room of Requirement, Bellatrix paced faster, not at all concerned that she may bump into another unsuspecting student. On the few occasions that it had happened, she had either slipped past unnoticed or else hexed the intruder who had dared to disturb her personal time there and then. More often than not it wasn't because she wanted to hurt anyone; it was just that she didn't want them to start talking to her, asking her why she was out of bed and roaming the corridors at three a.m. instead of tucked up in bed. Tonight though... well tonight she wanted nothing more than a good old-fashioned duel just for the sake of it._

"_Bella?" A familiar yet shaky voice called out from behind. "Where are you going?"_

_Whirling around, Bellatrix hastily drew her wand, only to set eyes on her sister. Andromeda. She lowered her wand, because despite her anger, she was not yet at the stage when she wanted to hex her own sister. Not quite, anyway._

"_None of your business, Andromeda," she spat. "I'd call you Black, but that would only be an insult to the family name!"_

_Andromeda looked hurt at this. "I'm still your sister."_

"_No, you're not," Bellatrix sneered. "You made the decision not to be my sister anymore when you allowed such filth to woo you."_

"_Ted will make a fantastic wizard," Andromeda insisted, pushing the dark curls on her head (so alike her own but a shade or so lighter) behind her ear. "And... and I love him."_

"_You love him?" Bellatrix said incredulously. "You have no idea what love is; you're just a child."_

"_Yes, I do. Don't tell me how I feel, Bellatrix. I'm old enough to know what I'm doing, to know that I'm going to lose mother and father because of my decision. But I... I can't help it. He's the love of my life... I can sense it," Andromeda said assuredly, a defiant look in her eyes. She paused, seeming to debate her next words. "Please don't hate me."_

"_You're a Mudblood-lover," Bellatrix taunted, ignoring her sister's words, not caring._

"_Don't call me that!" Andromeda shrieked._

"_You deserve to be hated," Bellatrix continued, ignoring her sister's protests. "Do you really think that I'm going to get used to this, side with you over our mother and father? Both Narcissa and I are disgusted with you."_

_Andromeda shook her head. "No."_

"_No what?" Bellatrix snapped._

"_No, Narcissa doesn't hate me," she said quietly, avoiding Bellatrix's line of sight._

"_What do you mean, she doesn't hate you?" Bellatrix asked, partly curious by this declaration, but mainly just impatient to know exactly what Andromeda meant by it. Surely Narcissa would stand by her on this matter? They had always had the closest relationship of all the sisters, hadn't they? There was a bond between them that neither of them had managed to form with Andromeda._

"_I've spoken to her," Andromeda admitted, still not facing Bellatrix directly, and appearing to talk at the floor. "She said... she said she's scared for me. That she wants me to stop because she loves me, and she always wants to be able to see and talk to me. Because I'm still her sister."_

_It was in that moment that Bellatrix realised how truly different from her sisters she was. There had always been slight, subtle personality differences between the three, but never more pronounced than now. Andromeda had always been the outsider, mainly because she had refused to respect the family name and realise what it meant. It had been a miracle she had even been placed in Slytherin; what Bellatrix had started to learn at eight years old, Andromeda still had not gotten to grips with at the age of fourteen. Narcissa was easier-going, far more likely to keep the peace and to do as she was told. His Golden Black Girl, their father called her._

_Everything would changed entirely now. Andromeda had ruined it all._

"_You're a Mudblood-lover," Bellatrix repeated, unable to do as Narcissa had and admit that she still loved Andromeda. Even if she did, she could never say it, because that would be going against her family, their beliefs._

_My beliefs, Bellatrix corrected._

_Andromeda laughed, more bitterly than Bellatrix had ever heard her laugh before. "You think deep down I really care that you call me names? Insult Ted's blood status? Say what you want Bellatrix, see if I give a damn!"_

"_You'd give a damn if I cursed you," Bellatrix said threateningly._

_Andromeda gazed at Bellatrix, almost sadly. It was as though her eyes were talking at her saying, "Really? Is that the best you can do?" and for a moment, Bellatrix felt ashamed. _

_Until Andromeda took a step forward, and made everything a hundred times worse. "You're not very original, Bellatrix. Nothing I haven't heard before from father," she informed her. "Why don't you call me Tonks... considering I'll be moving in with him this summer after father throws me out, it seems somewhat appropriate."_

_Unable to hide her disdainful surprise, Bellatrix gasped. She watched as Andromeda shook her head pitifully, and turned her back, walking away. Her sister was going to confess the truth to their parents? And leave? No, she wasn't ready. If she just waited, then maybe she would meet a pure-blood that she fell wand over robes for._

_Except she most likely wouldn't, Bellatrix cursed inwardly, putting her wand away. Because I haven't either, so far._

_Two years later, married not-so-happily to Rodolphus, she was drawn to a man calling himself Voldemort and saying that he was a pure-blood. Although she didn't find him attractive, she became infatuated with his ideals and his beliefs, and suddenly, the Mudblood witch in Gryffindor didn't matter so much after all._

* * *

All things considered, Hermione felt that she'd got off rather lightly. After throwing her back into her cell, Bellatrix had stormed off, leaving her alone and shivering even more than usual until her hair had properly dried hours later. She tried to focus on the fact that at least she was now clean, and so she inhaled the scent of the soap she had used, breathing deeply until she fell into an uneasy sleep about vampires chasing her for her blood, only to reject her at the last moment. Her nightmare was no doubt inspired by Bellatrix' insults about how impure her blood was, and upon waking, she vowed not to let the older witch get to her as much as she had been.

_Got to be strong._

Unexpectedly, Bellatrix had not bestowed her presence upon Hermione for the rest of the day. Hermione had thought that within a couple of hours at most the Death Eater would have entered the cell only to place curse upon curse on Hermione, torturing her until she screamed so much that her throat was raw. The entire evening she had been terrified, worried that the moment she let down her guard would be the moment Bellatrix appeared to do the worst damage she had yet to inflict upon Hermione, and maybe this time she would manage lasting damage of some sort.

It appeared to be the middle of the night by the time that Bellatrix returned, though Hermione couldn't be sure considering that she didn't have a watch. She supposed she could try asking Lemmy the time the next time she appeared, but there was no guarantee that Lemmy would provide such information considering it may not be allowed, and the house-elf may inadvertently get into trouble. Besides, it would only benefit her for as long as she counted from that time onwards, and despite her miserable circumstances she wasn't going to sit around counting every second of every day.

"Sorry I'm late sweetie, business to attend to," Bellatrix announced her presence, as she unlocked the cell and took a seat opposite Hermione, on a pillow she conjured with her wand. She sat down gingerly as though in pain, and when Bellatrix looked up and lit the room with her wand, Hermione caught sight of her split lip and bloody ankle.

"What happened?" she asked curiously. The cuts looked fairly deep.

Bellatrix grinned. "Nothing I couldn't handle. You be careful now though or I might start to think you care..."

"I don't," Hermione said, flushing. "Just curious."

"Well, you know what they say. Curiosity killed the kitty cat. Best you don't know, ickle one," Bellatrix said mockingly.

"Have you killed someone?" Hermione blurted out, unable to stop herself. She hoped that even if she got tortured for this, she would at least find out what had happened and if her friends were ok.

"Nope!"

"Tortured someone?" Hermione guessed once more.

Bellatrix seemed to ponder this. "Not that I remember, but it's a bit of a blur if I'm honest. I've never been Muggle-hunting before, you see, I've only ever targeted Muggles because I have been specifically ordered to."

"Muggle-hunting?" Hermione repeated, feeling sickened. Had her stomach not been entirely empty, she would have vomited there and then.

"Yes. We were chasing them through some woodlands when I got my leg caught in some hideous Muggle device," Bellatrix said, almost knowledgeably.

"What do you mean?" Hermione was entirely confused by what Muggle device Bellatrix could have been referring too. "Do you have it with you now?"

"Of course not," Bellatrix said impatiently. "I used the Reductor Curse to free myself from it straight after I fell into it. I blew it into tiny pieces... sodding well hurt though!"

Hermione racked her brains, trying to work out what Bellatrix could possibly have stumbled across. And then, it hit her. It was more than likely that Bellatrix had fallen into a Foothold trap designed to catch animals in forests. She didn't even know it was still legal, so she had no idea where on earth Bellatrix had been hunting. Deciding not to get too much into the specifics, she explained to Bellatrix, "I think you stood on what Muggles use to trap animals. If the injuries aren't too deep then you can just use basic healing spells on them."

"I plan too," Bellatrix snapped, a sign that she was annoyed at being told how to treat her wounds. "Before I track down the Muggles who are responsible and introduce them to _Crucio_... see how they like some pain for a change!"

Hermione surveyed her in disgust. How could she say such a thing, especially considering that she frequently tortured Hermione for no valid reason? To think that Bellatrix had harmed many others over the years was a horrendous thought; especially considering what she had put some of them through and the permanent damage she had caused. When she remembered such horrible facts about Bellatrix, Hermione was fully aware of just how dangerous a Death Eater she was faced with and that she would most likely not get out of this situation alive. One day Bellatrix was bound to go too far, and Hermione would either be a prisoner of her own mind forever, or lose her life entirely.

"Is that what it was like when you tortured the Longbottoms'?" she asked, knowing that she was provoking Bellatrix, especially considering that she was already in pain.

At once, Bellatrix's expression formed into something that Hermione couldn't fathom, no matter how hard she tried. There was no regret or remorse, or even amusement. Only fury. It wasn't the irritated anger she expected though, there was a real intense ferocity in Bellatrix's eyes that actually frightened Hermione enough to stop her wanting to make Bellatrix any more incensed. "Don't pretend to understand such things," she said coldly.

_Where did that come from?_ Hermione wondered, unable to see why Bellatrix would react in such a way. Immediately she was eager to learn why, and so she decided to gently push Bellatrix for answers without infuriating her to the extent where she hurt her. "Fine, I don't understand," Hermione agreed. "So explain it to me."

"You're just a dense little girl," Bellatrix sneered. She scraped a finger along Hermione's cheek, causing her to flinch. "And you also have a hint of that infamous Gryffindor stupidity that I so loathe and detest. _Ugh_."

Shakily breathing in and out, Hermione didn't feel very brave at the moment. Bellatrix terrified her at the best of times, but when she bore witness to the sort of calm fierceness from Bellatrix that she was performing right now, it was far worse than her insane shrieking fits of rage. "I just want to know what you mean," Hermione said, nervously.

At first, her question was ignored. Bellatrix had begun to attend to her injuries, cleansing the blood away before healing the wound itself. She did so methodically with a steady wrist, and from the looks of it she was more than capable of performing a decent Healing spell. It made sense, Hermione supposed. Considering the sort of activities she usually took part in, she would need to know how to look after herself or she would probably wouldn't have lasted this long throughout the war.

By the time Bellatrix had finished healing her ankle, there were only faint marks remaining. Hermione knew that over time they would vanish completely, and she stared, amazed at the skills Bellatrix possessed. She was able to move her ankle around without wincing in pain, and didn't even look as though it affected her at all. In fact, she seemed entirely unfazed by the entire event, as though it were an everyday occurrence. _Probably is_, Hermione thought.

Eventually, Bellatrix raised her head to gaze at Hermione once more. She smiled. "You want to know the truth about Frank and Alice Longbottom?" She leaned closer.

"Yes," Hermione said, though she didn't sound at all sure. Did she want to know? _No. Yes. No._

"Ohh, but the truth is so unimpressive," Bellatrix hissed through whiter than white teeth. "I wish I could say otherwise, but I wasn't even there until the end."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Hermione stuttered. Her eyes widened, and she forced herself to make eye contact with Bellatrix. "You didn't torture them?"

Bellatrix shook her head.

"But you went to Azkaban for fourteen years!" Hermione exclaimed. "You didn't deny it!"

"I didn't deny my Lord," Bellatrix corrected. "I never explicitly came out and said that I was responsible for the torture. I knew of the torture immediately after it had taken place and attended. I believe it was the right decision to make for information, but I did not participate. Although I did attempt to find my Lord by searching for him myself, yes. That much I achieved."

Hermione stared. Bellatrix had gone to Azkaban, convicted of a crime that she had never committed in the first place? It didn't make sense. Why would she do such a thing, when she could have been free, trying to find Voldemort. "I don't see why you didn't deny it... you could have... tried to find Him if you hadn't been in Azkaban, right? But you let yourself be locked away!" Hermione said, aghast.

"Oh wake up, sweetheart! The entire wizarding world was against very few of us, and without the power of our Lord we were nothing. We had tried everything in our power to get him back, and still we had failed. I was defeated, I'll admit. But there was no way that at that time I was going to allow everyone else to know that, and so I stood up and told everyone the Dark Lord would return! I had no way of knowing it would be true, but it was," Bellatrix grinned. "I chose to believe it was."

Still watching Bellatrix, fascinated and horrified both at the same time, Hermione couldn't think straight. There were a million thoughts running through her head, and she couldn't get to grips with them all. "Anything else you want to confess?" she asked faintly, only half-joking.

"Are you hoping I will suddenly pledge my allegiance to the Order and renounce my evil ways?" Bellatrix asked, seeming exasperated by the question. "Not going to happen."

_I wish it would,_ Hermione thought. To have someone like Bellatrix on their side would be a distinct advantage. She was second only to Voldemort when it came to duelling, and with Dumbledore dead, she would prove useful. Maybe, just maybe, there was the chance. Hermione had to allow herself to believe that, no matter how unlikely it seemed. Moreover, without hope, was there any point in fighting a losing battle? She may as well spend her time here trying to be useful rather than just moping about how she was trapped and unable to help the Order.

"Don't start thinking of me as human," Bellatrix warned, seeming to understand what was going through Hermione's mind. "The only reason I'm telling you this is because you will _never _get the chance to tell your little friends."

"I just can't believe what you've said," Hermione divulged, ignoring the last comment. "Next you'll be telling me that it wasn't really you who killed Sirius."

For a brief nano-second of a moment, Bellatrix looked startled, uneasy. It was such a small flicker in her eyes that Hermione noted, but still, it was there. Nowhere near enough to call Bellatrix on it (and she would only be risking serious pain if she did anyhow) but it was more than a sufficient length of time for Hermione to be sure of what she had seen. What it meant, she had no idea, but once more Hermione suspected that it was a case of Bellatrix taking the credit for someone else's actions.

Of course, there was the obvious problem of the fact that she herself had seen Sirius die and had witnessed Bellatrix's curse hit him square in the chest before he toppled backwards beyond the veil. Had that been a fake Bellatrix, under the influence of Polyjuice Potion? Or had she been under the Imperius Curse? Neither made sense, and Hermione knew that now was not the time to wonder about this in case Bellatrix decided to attempt to break through into her mind as she had on previous occasions when she wanted to know what Hermione was thinking about.

"Enough," Bellatrix said, standing up and avoiding Hermione's eye. "I can't believe I am going to say this... but now is not the time for curses and pain. I'm too tired." Unconsciously, she jerked her healed ankle, as though it still ached despite the Healing spell.

Relieved, Hermione shrank into her towel, bunching it up around herself. She felt horrible in it, but supposed she should be thankful that Bellatrix had given her any clothes at all. "Ok," she said simply. It was best not to react at all, for she didn't want Bellatrix to change her mind and stay to hand out punishment. There would be time to spend on fruitless attempts at converting her to the Order's way of thinking tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. She had the rest of her lifetime here, didn't she? How b_rilliant._

Bellatrix exited and sealed the cell shut once more. "Until tomorrow, Mudblood."

She left.

"Until tomorrow..." Hermione whispered to the empty room.

* * *

When Lemmy next visited, Hermione gratefully took her usual meal of bread, and wolfed it down with some water from her bowl. The constant hunger was beginning to get to her; she was colder and colder the more weight that she lost, and weaker in general as she wasn't getting the necessary nutrients to survive. Although she hadn't been able to look in the mirror, she guessed that she looked pretty hideous, and her nails and hair were dull and lifeless after just a few short weeks of mistreatment. Considering everything, she was most likely a walking freak show, and as if that wasn't bad enough, she was so bloody uncomfortable! More than ever before she had the desire to just wrap herself up in a warm cosy duvet, and desperately wished to just lie in bed all day, doing nothing.

_Warm. Safe. Happy._

"Is Miss ok?" Lemmy piped up, standing next to Hermione, who was seated in the corner of her cell, staring blankly ahead after quickly finishing her meal.

"Fine," Hermione lied. How could she tell the truth? There was absolutely no way that she could say disrespectful things about Bellatrix to her house-elf, because Lemmy would more than likely pay dearly for it if Bellatrix found out. She could blow up at Bellatrix herself because ultimately, it would be her who suffered, but she would not be responsible for another creature's pain and suffering. _No way._

"Is there anything Lemmy can do for Miss?" Lemmy asked.

"Nothing you'd be allowed to do," Hermione said sadly.

Lemmy surveyed her briefly. "Lemmy could ask Mistress Bellatrix if she would like you to be happier, and then maybe you would be allowed more things in here," Lemmy suggested. "Like a proper toilet."

Not even bothering to spare a glance for the now empty bucket, (thanks to Lemmy) Hermione shook her head. "No, Lemmy. She might get angry, and then you would be in trouble. Don't worry about me, I can look after myself."

"But you shouldn't have to, Miss!" Lemmy squeaked.

Hermione smiled fondly at the elf. "Your Mistress hates me, Lemmy. She thinks I have unclean, dirty blood, and that I deserve to suffer."

Lemmy remained silent, looking at the floor and biting her nails nervously.

"I know it might not make sense to you, but she likes to see me suffer. It makes her happy. Merlin, it's probably the only thing that truly does make her happy these days," Hermione said, partially talking to herself. "Although I'm sure whenever something happens to benefit her Lord that has her rolling around in ecstasy."

"Lemmy doesn't think Mistress does hate you," Lemmy stated. "She said that she thinks you're smart and that she enjoys talking to you."

Hermione gawped at this revelation. "_What?_"

In a second, Lemmy had thrown herself into the bars, and began to bash her head into them. Having witnessed such behaviour from Dobby, Hermione immediately jumped up and wrenched the house-elf back. "No, Lemmy!"

"Lemmy is a bad house-elf!" she squealed. "Mistress Bella said not to say anything to you! Lemmy forgot!"

"It's ok," Hermione said soothingly. She kept a grip on Lemmy, not wanting her to run away and start hurting herself again. "Don't worry, it was just an accident. I won't tell her."

"Lemmy was still naughty," the elf moaned. "Lemmy should be a better elf."

"You're an amazing elf!" Hermione said encouragingly. And she meant it. From what she had seen, Lemmy was good at what she did, and was also very kind and caring. The opposite of Kreacher, (if Hermione was truly honest about his nature) which gave Hermione hope that if Lemmy could be around Bellatrix and be such a lovely creature, then maybe if Bellatrix was around her and Hermione for long enough, some of their traits would start to rub off on the Death Eater.

_Hah,_ Hermione thought. _Wishful thinking._

She sighed. Bellatrix confused her beyond belief, it had to be said. Sometimes she spoke to Hermione like she was an actual human being, and other times, it was like she couldn't hate her more if she tried. From what Lemmy said this apparently wasn't true, but that still didn't mean that Hermione wasn't mystified by this. How was it possible that Bellatrix thought her smart? And more to the point, that she actually _enjoyed_ talking with her? It didn't make any sense. But then, nothing made sense to Hermione anymore; being locked in a cell alone, with only a woman who hated you for company or the aforementioned woman's house-elf tended to drive someone crazily out of their thoughts.

"Such a kind girl," Lemmy said, shaking her head. "So thoughtful."

Hermione blushed, feeling a warmth inside at the compliment. It was a simple one, but considering that she was locked up away from her family and friends, it was one that meant a great deal. She did her best to be a good person and treat others the way that she wanted to be treated, and even if she did occasionally slip up, she had never caused irreparable, everlasting damage. Moreover, she usually corrected her mistakes, and even if she didn't (Marietta Edgecombe _had _deserved those pimples after all...) they were not the sort of mistakes that ruined someone's life.

"Thank you, Lemmy," she said genuinely. "That means so much, especially considering the... _situation _I'm in."

Lemmy didn't comment on this, and Hermione surmised that she couldn't, bound by Elf Laws that prevented her from saying anything against the family she was bound to, or more specifically, Bellatrix. She couldn't imagine not being allowed to voice her own opinions _by law_; it was bad enough living with Voldemort having so much control over the wizarding world and kept by Bellatrix, but to live like this for the rest of her life would be unbearable. Shivering, Hermione tried not to think about how hard it must be for Lemmy, or that this may be what the rest of her life was all about. _Torture. Stavation. Humiliation. _

"Is you cold, Miss?" Lemmy asked.

"Yes," Hermione said, nodding and wrapping her arms around herself. "Very cold."

She had never dealt well with being cold. Since she was younger, Hermione had always been of a slight built despite being five foot six inches in height and therefore not petite. The constant lack of nourishment had meant she'd lost an awful lot of weight, and consequently, she had been even more cold due to her lack of body fat than when she had first been brought here. At night she would wrap her arms around herself and desperately beg everyone she could think of to get her out of there, even if they couldn't hear her. She dug her nails into her arms, curled herself into a ball, and tried imagining she was on a boiling hot beach.

None of it worked.

Lemmy surveyed her, looking her up and down. "You is dressed like a house-elf, Miss."

Not taking offence to Lemmy saying this, Hermione smiled. It was the truth. "Yes, I am." _Don't I look attractive?_

"Humans do not usually dress like this," Lemmy shook her head. She seemed to consider something. "Lemmy has an idea, Miss. Lemmy has not been forbidden to do it, and it would just be one time..."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "What's that, Lemmy?"

Lemmy watched Hermione, determined. "Lemmy is not breaking any laws, this is ok, Lemmy thinks." She raised her right arm, swung it forward, and suddenly, Hermione was enveloped in a warm, cosy feeling.

"What did you do?" she groaned, feeling utterly fantastic.

"Lemmy cast a heat charm," Lemmy said, beaming brightly at Hermione's obvious pleasure.

Close to tears through sheer joy, Hermione returned the smile. "Th-thank you," she said gratefully. She tried not to think about what would happen if Bellatrix found out, and the price they would both pay for doing something without her explicit permission. Hopefully it wouldn't reach the stage when the Death Eater did discover their secret, but you could never be too sure. Just in case, Hermione would always be on her guard, if only so she could prepare herself for what was to come.

"It will only last for a few hours, Miss," Lemmy warned.

Hermione nodded. "That's ok. You've done more than enough; thank you so much!"

Beaming once more, Lemmy said, "No problem, Miss," and with a crack, she disappeared from the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Kriszti7**- I promise that eventually the truth will be revealed. : )

**ladygoddess8**- I love that Sirius quote so much. I think it's true here in the real world too, not just HP.

**Anti-Gravity11-** I am loving all of this Lemmy praise, especially considering that she is a character I invented! I was worried about making her believable. As for Bellatrix's past crimes, glad you like the revelation.

**Sonja**- No sorry, it's not Lily. The years that canon Bellatrix attended Hogwarts didn't match up with Lily's and as I wanted to keep this as canon as possible, I couldn't use her unfortunately.

**GothicPheonix**- I know, I'm sure there are some readers out there who think I'm mental myself for trying to humanise Bellatrix, but I like to believe that not everyone is truly evil.

**Rain Addict CM**- Don't worry, it will. : )

**ICouldBeSuper**- Without giving away too much, you're onto something with Lemmy!

Once more, thank you to all for the reviews and for letting me know your thoughts. Love to you all! : )

* * *

_I'll take my chances _

_While you take your time with this game you play_

_Goo Goo Dolls, Let Love In_

* * *

_**7.**_

The days dragged slowly on until eventually Hermione had been imprisoned for an entire three weeks. Unfortunately, it felt like a hell of a lot longer; especially when she was always bored, hungry, in pain or cold, not to mention the fact she was once again unclean. Simple everyday basic needs were not being met, and the only thing that Bellatrix really seemed to consider that Hermione required was the plentiful supply of water and lump of tasteless bread once a day. Hermione had wondered if this would ever be taken away from her, but it seemed that even Bellatrix was not so stupid as to deny her something so vital to her survival.

As time went on, Bellatrix's various methods of torture continued, though she seemed to be relying on the same old curses such as the Cruciatus Curse and using her fists rather than inventing new methods of torture. If Hermione didn't know better she would consider than Bellatrix was getting tired of hurting her, but she realised what a ridiculous notion it was. Bellatrix Lestrange did not get fed up of torturing Muggle-borns. _How absurd._

What was driving Hermione to distraction more so than the daily torture sessions was the fact that she didn't have a clue what was happening in the outside world. Bellatrix never mentioned her friends unless it was to taunt her about them, and as of yet she hadn't revealed anything specific about their whereabouts, or who had died. So far, Hermione had chosen to interpret this as a good thing; surely Bellatrix would gloat if someone close to her had been murdered? But then she snapped back to reality and reminded herself that there was no way everyone she knew and loved could still be alive. It just wasn't possible considering the state of the wizarding world, was it?

"Yoo hoo," Hermione heard, and suddenly, Bellatrix was in front of her, seemingly trying to catch her attention. "Enjoying your little daydreaming session?" she grinned.

Hermione shook her head._ Please, not today._

"Feeling lonely?"

This time Hermione ignored her, and instead chose to look at the floor. What would be achieved by telling Bellatrix how she felt? She would most likely mock Hermione before causing her immense pain as usual; talking about her fears wasn't going to change the Death Eater's perception of her. Short of proving herself to be a pure-blood and declaring her support for Voldemort there was nothing she could do to change the inevitable. This grungy little cell was her home from now on, and that was the way it would be until she took her last breath.

"Not very talkative today, are you dearie? Ignoring me?" Bellatrix surmised. "Do you think a round or two of _Crucio_ would liven you up?"

"I'm not ignoring you," Hermione said quietly. "I just don't know what's left for me to possibly say without you hurting me."

"Well," Bellatrix began, leaning in towards Hermione, her curls falling around her face as she did so. To look at her face Hermione saw a beautiful woman, but looking into her eyes there was only insanity and rage. "Consider it this way; I'm going to hurt you anyway, so you may as well say whatever you want to me."

"True," Hermione said, agreeing. "Fine then. I want to know what's happening outside. Who's..." she paused, taking a second to compose herself. "Who's dead?"

Bellatrix smirked. "So that's what's got your knickers, or rather lack of them, in a twist. You want to know what's going on in the big bad world of wizards."

Colour rose in Hermione's cheeks at Bellatrix's reference to her state of undress, and she tried not to let herself get too worked up over the comment._ It's not my fault I'm wearing this bloody towel! _Nevertheless, instead of voicing her irritation aloud and risking punishment, she replied as civilly as possible, "Yes, I do."

Bellatrix sighed. "Don't suppose there's any harm in it. Of course, you're going to have to be extra nice to me when I've told you though. Do we have a deal?"

"_No_," Hermione said firmly.

"Are you trying to provoke my fury? Because you're going the right way about it!" Bellatrix threatened, eyes flashing.

Hermione stared, incredulous, and worked through her thoughts about Bellatrix aloud. That in itself was a dangerous move to make, but she was morbidly curious about how the raven haired witch would react to her opinions, and so she declared, "Usually when you get angry with me it's only because I'm telling you the truth about your life... how it really is. You hate the truth because it makes you feel guilty, but today you're angry for almost no reason." She paused briefly and then added, "Are you frustrated about something?" She didn't expect Bellatrix to answer; all she wanted was for her to feel unnerved for a change, see how she liked it.

Eyes flashing, Bellatrix pushed Hermione back against the wall and knelt over her, a leg on either side of her body. "Be careful, my little Mudbaby, be very careful..." she hissed.

The only sign that Hermione was frightened by this move was the fact that she swallowed hard, her breathing shallow as she tried not to freak out entirely. Bellatrix leant over her like this in such close proximity was confusing her, because the repulsion she had always imagined herself to feel didn't occur at all, and instead, there were knots in her stomach, curling back and forth for an unknown reason. Being this close to Bellatrix meant she could see the exact swirls and shades of browns in her eyes, and it did nothing to help her focus on the fact that this was a Death Eater above her, not just an attractive older woman.

_Damn it,_ she thought angrily. _Focus!_

This wasn't her. Bellatrix had to be doing something to mess with her mind, because there was no way she would ever feel this way willingly, was there? _Not about her._ Besides, the feeling was so overpowering that she couldn't ignore it, which meant Hermione decided that there was something going on here that she couldn't explain. It couldn't be some sort of love potion, because if that were the case she wouldn't be so aware of her repulsion and horror. No, it was something else. Maybe a dark magic that she had never heard of before that Bellatrix had decided to practice on her.

"Now, are you going to be a nice, polite little girl?" Bellatrix asked, a sickly sweet tone to her voice.

"Fine," Hermione said grudgingly, trying not to move too much in case Bellatrix shifted even closer and made things more difficult for her. "Please, will you tell me what's been happening?"

"See, much better," Bellatrix cooed, stroking Hermione's cheek with her thumb as she spoke. The skin she had touched tingled long after she had moved her hand away, and momentarily, Hermione was distracted once more. The raven haired witch was so close to her that she could smell her, and for once, she was pleasantly surprised. It smelt as though Bellatrix had used some sort of honey sweet shampoo on her hair, for it engulfed Hermione, making her feel lightheaded. It made such a change to the smell of damp that she usually had to put up with, that Hermione couldn't stop herself from taking deep breaths, over and over. She tried to do so discreetly so that Bellatrix didn't see, but needless to say, it was impossible for her to focus on the words coming out of Bellatrix's mouth as well as this. _Since when did Bellatrix Lestrange smell like honey anyway?_

Hermione tried to stay calm, and came to the swift realisation that to do so, she had to concentrate on the conversation once more. Reluctantly, she stopped inhaling Bellatrix's scent, and attempted to snap herself out of the dreamy state she was in. Nevertheless, the focus only came after she made eye contact with Bellatrix again (after staring at her mouth) by which point she had missed half of what she had said. "-So really, The Dark Lord is feeling optimistic."

Hazarding a guess that Bellatrix had just been talking about Voldemort, Hermione asked her the one thing that she really cared about, sure that if it had already been mentioned Bellatrix would have questioned her inattention earlier on. "Are my friends ok?"

Bellatrix looked confused. "You don't want to know about the wizarding world in general first?"

"Of course not," Hermione denied. "I want to know if Harry and Ron are ok. And... and Ron's family."

"That's more important to you?" Bellatrix exclaimed.

"Yes!" Hermione said firmly. "That's all I care about really. I mean, don't get me wrong, I obviously don't agree with Him being in power, but I just want to know if anyone I love has been hurt."

Bellatrix cocked her head to the side, staring down, and leant back to sit herself on Hermione's bony legs. Hermione could tell what she was thinking. _Love? You're bringing that up again? Ugh._ Bellatrix just couldn't grasp that there were things in life more important that blood purity, more important that service, obsession and pain. Love was powerful in a way that no other magic was; it saved lives, it gave courage, and it provided protection. Love was _everything._

With Bellatrix perched on her legs, the pressure coupled with the awkward position they were in meant it wasn't exactly comfortable. However, unlike earlier when she wasn't really listening, Hermione found herself too enthralled in the conversation to be bothered. Anyhow, if she asked Bellatrix to move because she was hurting her, it would probably only encourage Bellatrix to cause her further discomfort, maybe by bouncing up and down on her weak bones until they snapped, or flicking her wand back and forth to perform some sort of curse.

"If you say so. No, no one you _love_ has been captured," Bellatrix grudgingly revealed. "Though it's only a matter of time."

Relief flooded Hermione, despite Bellatrix's latter comment. However, she tried not to look too happy, knowing it would infuriate Bellatrix. "Right," she said in response.

Bellatrix seemed to rack her brains for something to say, disappointed by Hermione's lack of emotion in response and giving her no real reason to begin punishing her. Seconds later, she smiled slowly and cackled, "Your Muggle Studies teacher is dead!"

The dread in the pit of Hermione's stomach that had formed the moment Bellatrix had began to smile increased somewhat due to the horrific news. "Professor Burbage?" She hadn't known her too well, but had still seen her sitting in the Great Hall at Hogwarts' dinner times, and had even had classes with her during her third year when she had used the Time-Turner to attend Muggle Studies classes. Not wanting to give Bellatrix the disgusted and upset expression she expected, she tried her best to keep her face impassive. _Don't react. Don't give her the satisfaction._

As expected, Bellatrix nodded, seemingly disappointed by Hermione's expressionless face and unaware of the sickness she felt inside. Hermione was getting better at hiding her emotions, after all. "The filth has been reported to have resigned, which is of course a lie. The Dark Lord killed her himself for teaching nasty lies." She paused. "Oh and the _fabulous _Mad-Eye Moody is dead too... but I assume you knew about that, hmm?"

Hermione nodded numbly, still painfully aware of the journey of transporting Harry to safety that had resulted in his death. She still couldn't believe that Mad-Eye, one of the most fantastic Aurors of all time had been murdered by Voldemort himself. "Yes, I knew about him." _I was there moments before_, she thought.

A wistful sigh escaped from Bellatrix's lips as she savoured the memory."They're the immediate names that spring to mind. Everyone else you know is alive and flying."

And then in sunk in, the fact that it wasn't all bad news. _Harry and Ron are ok._ Hermione was hit by a sudden urge to smile, unable to stop a grin from spreading across her face. Thus far, her friends had survived. She wondered whether they had managed to defeat any Horcruxes yet, (though she imagined Voldemort's soul was extremely difficult to handle) and how close they had gotten to finding any of them. She wished that she could be there with them, battling for the Greater Good, but unfortunately, there appeared to be no sign of her joining them in the near future. Even if by some miracle she did manage to escape from Bellatrix, there was no guarantee that she would be able to track them down, or even be strong enough to do anything useful for the Order considering her recent treatment. Moreover, she had not been able to practice magic for so long that she was worried that her skills and ability to perform it would have taking a huge blow. She was certain that eventually she would get back into the swing of things should she ever be released, but she could be useless for a long time yet.

"You're thinking of that filthy blood-traitor and ickle Potter boy, aren't you?" Bellatrix sneered, slapping her across the face.

"Yes," Hermione said, seeing no need to deny it. "They're my friends. I love them."

"I've already told you that love doesn't matter," Bellatrix said dismissively, waving her wand and causing a few, tiny sparks to shoot out of the end. "It is for fools."

Hermione shrugged. "Fine."

"Fine?" Bellatrix said, apparently confused by Hermione's lack of protest.

"I'm not going to argue with you," Hermione said tiredly. She could feel the hunger getting to her, and she had no desire to suffer the added effects of Bellatrix's temper upon her usual torture session.

"Oh but I do so_ love_ it when we argue, sweetie," Bellatrix growled in a way that could only be described as sickeningly seductive. "Don't you?"

The low tones in her voice were doing awful things to Hermione's heartbeat, and desperately, she tried not to let it show. Stiffening, she forced herself to focus on the conversation, continuing to talk about love, if only because it was the one area in which she easily outsmarted Bellatrix. "I love my friends," Hermione told her. "I love my parents. I love reading, and learning, and success, and being happy, and... and..." she racked her brains for something else that she loved. "toothpaste," she finished, lamely.

"Oh yes, I forgot about your little teeth fetish," Bellatrix grinned, flashing her perfect teeth at Hermione.

Cheeks flushing hotly, Hermione didn't allow herself to stare any longer for fear of what it would do to her body. "It's not a fetish," she snapped.

"Whatever you say."

It was obvious that Bellatrix didn't believe her which infuriated Hermione all the more. Remembering that Bellatrix was a Legilimens, she quickly ensured that the mediocre barriers she possessed were up. Hopefully it wouldn't come to the stage where Bellatrix tried to pry, but she would still like to be in the advantageous position and entirely prepared for whatever the older witch decided to throw at her. This wasn't the time to fall to pieces or give into unwanted desires, it was the time to be strong and hold her own for as long as humanely possible.

"It's not!" Hermione exclaimed. "Anyway, what do _you_ love? Apart from arguing with me, of course," she added bitterly.

"I've already told you... I don't really love," Bellatrix said with a shrug. "I love to serve my Lord, I suppose, but that is all."

Interested by Bellatrix's choice of phrase, Hermione considered her words. Bellatrix hadn't said that she was in love with Voldemort, only that she loved to serve him. That implied that she didn't actually have any real feelings for him, but rather saw him as a symbol of beliefs she had held ever since she was a little girl, if her pure-blood background was anything to go by. Had Bellatrix been brought up as a Muggle-born or even half-blood, she may have gone through life infatuated with Albus Dumbledore, and seeing him as her saviour, similarly to Harry. It was funny, Hermione thought, the cards that life handed people. Opinions that were formed so easily could sometimes never be changed, and in Bellatrix's case, both nature and nurture had bonded tightly to form sick, demented beliefs that caused suffering, pain and destruction. _How sad._

"Don't make me use my skills as a Legilimens on you, to see what you are thinking about me," Bellatrix threatened, drawing Hermione from out of her own head.

"I haven't said it aloud because you won't like what I'm thinking," Hermione explained patiently, keeping the worry out of her voice at the idea of Bellatrix invading her mind once more.

"I want you to say it anyway," Bellatrix instructed her, in Hermione's opinion, rather childishly.

Hermione sighed. "Fine." She proceeded to relay her thoughts to Bellatrix, not attempting to word them better or say them in a kinder manner so that there was less chance of riling Bellatrix. Quite frankly she was too weak to do that, the lack of food affecting her capacity to reword her ideas and generally affecting every single process that occurred within her brain.

When she had finished telling Bellatrix of her views, the Death Eater sat before her, resting a hand on her chin and debating Hermione's words. She looked so lost in thought that Hermione took the opportunity to shift her legs into a slightly more comfortable position underneath Bellatrix, and luckily enough, she was not called on this. Instead, Bellatrix fixed her dark brown eyes upon Hermione's, and she said, "That's true enough."

"Wh-what?" Hermione stuttered, sure she had misunderstood Bellatrix.

"If I were a Mudblood," she said this distastefully, "Then I would probably idolize Dumbledore."

"Oh," Hermione said faintly. "I didn't... I didn't think you would agree."

Ignoring this comment, Bellatrix continued, "In short, I would be just like _you_."

Hermione frowned. "That's not a bad thing, you know. I mean, I know that you think it is, but you don't know me. Not really. And if you take away the fact that we believe in different causes, have different blood and have opposing views in general... we're not all that different. We're both smart, aren't we? And you love, Bellatrix, whether you admit it or not."

Bellatrix appeared to consider this.

_One second. Two seconds._

And then it came.

"I love being a Pure-blood. I love my sisters. I love duelling, flying as long as it's not during a game of Quidditch, and being in control."

_Finally,_ Hermione thought jubilantly. _A breakthrough!_ With words like that, there had to be something in Bellatrix, didn't there? She was a million and one horrible things, but she was still human. Unlike Voldemort, she still had a soul. The countless crimes and atrocities she had committed probably meant that her soul was damaged, but short of her creating Horcruxes, there was still time for her to take a different path in life. Or feel remorse. Remorse was always harder to reach, but it was no doubt a possibility.

It was another thirty seconds or so before Hermione picked up on something she had said. "You used the plural," she stated, shocked.

"Excuse me?" Bellatrix replied, looking confused.

"You said sisters. Not sister, _sisters._ You still love Andromeda," Hermione said, processing her thoughts aloud. "Oh my... that means that you..." she stopped, thinking. What did it mean? Her mind wasn't working as fast as it used to, and she couldn't quite figure out why this was such a revelation to her.

"I meant sister," Bellatrix backtracked, voice dangerously low. "Why would I still love a Mudblood-lover?"

Hermione shook her head, deciding not to allow Bellatrix to explain it away. "You wouldn't have said something like that if you didn't mean it on some level at the very least, even if it was entirely unconscious." Merlin, she couldn't believe this! For someone such as Bellatrix, admitting that she was capable of love was a big enough revelation, but voicing the fact that she still cared for the sister that she considered a traitor was an even bigger disclosure, and the sort that should Voldemort ever find out about, that he would kill her for.

The most important thing that Hermione felt right now was that Bellatrix could not close off again. If she turned to torture to distract Hermione from the fact that she had confessed something entirely damaging to the character she portrayed then it was likely that this moment would never again occur in the future. It was for Hermione to ensure that it didn't happen, and that she said the right thing to make Bellatrix realise what her words meant when it came down to the crux of the issue.

"Don't pretend, Bellatrix," Hermione said softly, risking the use of Bellatrix's name. When the raven haired witch opened her mouth to argue with this, Hermione continued talking, distracting her, hoping that she didn't draw her wand. "It's just you and I at the moment. I'm not ever going to tell anyone what you've said to me, not just because I probably won't get the chance but because you can trust me. I may be a Mudblood in your eyes, but I'm still human."

"The fact that you're a Mudblood matters more than you realise," Bellatrix said, quieter now. "Do you think I could ever talk like this in front of my Lord? He would kill me without a second thought!"

"Exactly," Hermione agreed, following the lead that Bellatrix had provided her with. "Why would you follow someone like that? You can have _so_ much, Bellatrix. You know... I'm betting that if you changed sides, Narcissa would follow. Andromeda would forgive you, and in time, everyone would admire you for making such a brave decision. I could help you."

Bellatrix remained silent, and avoided Hermione's gaze. She looked over to the right, and Hermione wondered if the reason she was not looking down was because her eyes would still be resting on some part of Hermione. Taking a risk, Hermione slowly and carefully reached out, placing her hand atop Bellatrix's left, the opposite of the hand she held her wand with. Shakily, applied pressure, surprised at how warm Bellatrix's hand felt underneath her own. The warmth seemed to increase until Hermione's hand was also affected, and it was like there was a buzzing sensation within, an indescribable feeling that Hermione had never before experienced.

Hermione watched Bellatrix's face for signs that she too was experiencing this, but aside from her rising and falling chest with every breath she took, there was no sign that she was feeling anything at all. Speaking more gently now, Hermione said, "You could be in control. I'd still... still be here, if that's what you wanted. I don't care, Bellatrix. If it means that you're at least on our side... I would do anything to keep you there."

Bellatrix stirred at this, and she turned back to face Hermione. "Why, Granger? Why would _you_ help _me_?"

"Because I don't believe this is really you," Hermione said honestly. "I don't know what has made you so intent on hating many of those around you, but it doesn't have to be this way." She squeezed Bellatrix's hand, holding back a gasp at the jolt within her that it provided.

"I'm not sure your friends would agree," Bellatrix drawled, confidence in her voice, but again betraying herself through the haunted expression in her eyes. How had Hermione never noticed that before? "Not everyone forgives so easily."

Hermione shook her head. "No, they don't. But before he died... Dumbledore made it clear to the Order that everyone deserves a second chance. If we truly believe that someone has changed, if they prove themselves to us and we trust their word, then we are to forgive and accept them. Right now the Order are the only people whose opinion you should care about."

"And if I don't want to change?" Bellatrix asked, almost casually.

Hermione leaned forward. "I think in here," she touched her free hand against Bellatrix's chest where her heart was. "I think _deep deep_ in here, you do."

Face expressionless, Bellatrix stood, freeing herself from Hermione's touch. Without glancing back, she sealed the cell, and left Hermione alone once more. Without hesitation, Hermione knew what she was going to do for what was left of the day. Silently, she closed her eyes, and began to pray. She prayed for Charity Burbage. She prayed for all those that had suffered so far at the hands of Voldemort.

She prayed for love.

* * *

_**October 1969**_

_Rodolphus was everything that Bellatrix was supposed to want in a man. He was handsome, intelligent, and most importantly of all, he was a pure-blood. The latter was all that her family really cared about, and so in turn, she had to care just as much too. Since she was a little girl she had known this would happen, that she would have to devote her life to another, someone who it was quite possible that she didn't love and never would. And for all the brilliant, wonderful things about Rodolphus, he didn't make her heart flutter or cause a tingle to form in her chest._

_Nevertheless, it has been ordered by her family that she was to marry him, and not wanting to bring shame upon them, she had done so quietly. Especially after the unspoken of "Andromeda situation" had caused them so much stress, worry and anger. But considering that Bellatrix wasn't at all attracted to Rodolphus, she would just have to make it clear to him that they were married in name only; nothing more, nothing less. It hadn't been too hard so far; he had not attempted to take her to bed since the first night after their marriage, anyhow, which was a great relief considering how appalling it had been. She didn't think she was capable of that again, not with __him. And as far as public appearances went, if he thought that she__ would just be a pretty little wife for him to show off at wizarding functions, then he had another thing coming. Oh, she would play her part, do what was required of her, but she would not fawn over him or stay at home like some sort of baby-making machine; Bellatrix aspired to be more than that._

"_Bellatrix darling," he said as they sat in the lounge, her perusing a book named "Attack of the Dark Arts" whilst he attempted to mend with his wand the broken clasp on his favourite black cloak from __Twilfitt and Tattings__, something that Bellatrix herself had steadfastly refused to do. That came too close to the category of wizard's housewife for her liking, and so Rodolphus had been forced to fix it himself._

"_Yes?" Bellatrix replied, not paying him much attention. She was engrossed in her reading, and quite frankly not at all interested in hearing whatever Rodolphus had to say._

"_We have a guest who will be attending at our home on Saturday evening. He's coming to discuss some important matters with me, and I think you may find him interesting enough to join us," Rodolphus informed her._

"_Whatever gives you that idea?" Bellatrix said impatiently. No doubt it would be some idiot about as fascinating as Lucius Malfoy, the last "interesting person" that he had seen fit to introduce her to. Well, her parents and Narcissa may have been enthralled by the long-haired creep, but she on the other hand felt like that was an entire four hours of her life that she would never get back._

_Rodolphus cleared his throat, evidently in an attempt to make Bellatrix focus her attentions on him rather than page two hundred of the book in front of her. "Well, he rather shares the same views as us on a number of subjects, and has a few ideas that could benefit society in a... political sense."_

_Upon hearing this, Bellatrix looked up, glaring. "I have no desire to listen to a Ministry employee harping on about..."_

"_He is not a Ministry employee," Rodolphus interrupted, something that he knew she hated. Arsehole. "He's an extraordinarily talented wizard who believes he can... purge society of unworthy witches and wizards."_

_Bellatrix frowned. "Such as?"_

"_Mudbloods," Rodolphus replied. "He believes that with the right help from a few followers he can bring all worthy witches and wizards around to his way of thinking. Our world would once more be pure, and we would be all the more powerful for it."_

_This got Bellatrix's attention. "We would be powerful?"_

_Rodolphus smiled at her, evidently pleased that he had now, finally gained her interest. "We would, he says, as loyal followers be rewarded with the positions we so desired if he should gain power."_

"_And how does he plan to do that?" Bellatrix snorted, wondering if this was just some mad, delusional fool without a hope in hell of ever achieving anything in life, let alone what he was claiming he would do._

"_That's what he wants to talk to us about tomorrow, darling," Rodolphus said patiently. "Would you like to join us?"_

_Bellatrix debated with herself. It could be a waste of time and effort, and once she had committed to attending, she couldn't very well change her mind, could she? Bellatrix would not do what she didn't wish to do other than what society generally dictated was required of her, but she was not going to be outright rude. After all, why else had she married Rodolphus? To uphold the Black family name, make her parents proud and because getting married was just what was expected of her. She was lucky in the sense that Rodolphus hadn't tried too hard at the moment to force her to perform the basic marital requirements in the bedroom and by dragging her around in public, but she didn't need to irritate him too much within their own home. Attending a simple meeting with an acquaintance of his would not be too taxing. Besides, it may even turn out that he was actually interesting and had the potential to truly bring something new and exciting to her life._

_Mind made up, Bellatrix gave her answer. "Yes." _

"_Yes?" Rodolphus beamed. "Wonderful. I'll let him know; he'll be so thrilled to know a female is interested in his work. He mentioned to me that at the moment it is mainly wizards who are joining him as many witches have yet to commit."_

"_Well seeing as I have been discouraged from joining the Ministry," Bellatrix said, still bitter about the fact that her parents had basically ordered that she was not to take a job and that as a pureblooded woman, she was expected to rely on her husband. Again, after what had happened with Andromeda she had not felt able to argue back with this. "I see no reason why I shouldn't take the opportunity, especially if it means undertaking work that I believe in."_

"_Exactly, Bella," Rodolphus said. "And I'm sure that should this turn out to be what I think it is, then I will have no problem in persuading your father to allow you to work. If you're upholding the principles and beliefs that he stands for, what could make him prouder?" _

_Bellatrix rolled her eyes at his blatant attempt to draw an enthusiastic reaction from her. "Ok Rodolphus, there's no need to overdo it; I've already said yes."_

"_But I mean it," he protested. "Aren't you happy about that?"_

"_I'll be happy if it actually happens, yes," Bellatrix informed him. "Until then I'm afraid, the happiness will remain on hold."_

_Rodolphus sighed. "You're so hard to please."_

_Sensing an argument coming on, Bellatrix shut her book, and stood to leave the room. She had considered not responding to Rodolphus's statement, but as soon as she reached the door, she suddenly found herself to be curious about something. Turning back, she asked, "The wizard you're talking about... what is his name?"_

_Rodolphus smiled once more. "Voldemort. His name is Voldemort."_


	8. Chapter 8

I feel it's now time for me to just quickly say that I have already decided on the outcome to this fic. Unfortunately, there is no pleasing everybody, and so there are going to be those of you who may not like where I take this story. Without singling people out, there are a few who have expressed their unhappiness at decisions I have made regarding Bellatrix's character. I am obviously sorry that you don't like the direction in which I have taken the fic, but I have spent a long time planning this fic and am happy with the way it will progress. Perhaps if this isn't what you're looking for you could take a look at other fics on this site, where Bellatrix is more typically evil. If you decide not to continue reading, thank you anyway for doing so up until this point.

Everyone else, thank you for your kind words. x

**ladygoddess8**_- _Very true. And all the control that Bellatrix didn't have during her childhood contributes to why she is so out of control now, because she couldn't stand feeling so suffocated.

**Anti-Gravity111- **After you've read this chapter, I really hope you don't hate me for the cliffhanger! Is it really sad that I know you were quoting Hermione as Bellatrix in Deathly Hallows: Part 2? Probably, but that was an awesome line! Haha, thanks for the love. Don't worry, I know what you mean. : P

**greeneleka- **I think maybe you do... but you'll get your answer for certain after the next chapter is posted. : P Glad you like the dialogue, you have no idea how many times I've deleted parts and totally reworded massive chunks of writing!

**Mrs. Waffles- **Thank you for the praise, and I'm glad that so far I have you convinced. I only hope I continue to do so!

**maplebanned- **Honestly, me neither. But people do desperate things under extreme pressure, even pray. By no means am I turning Hermione into a religious character, but I can see her praying to a Higher Power because of her desperate situation, even if she does believe it's a futile attempt. However, thanks for the feedback.

**Questionforyou**- Is that your real name or is it because you have a question for me? Just wondering, haha. I have the whole story written out but I am still editing it as I go along and changing grammar etc all the time, even if the content remains the same. As much as I would love to update twice a day I work 9-5 Monday to Friday in a stressful job and am therefore unable to edit the fic and update everyday. I do however update regularly, a few times a week.

* * *

_They've clipped my wings again_

_Tore them apart and then left me_

_No use to fly away to my yesterday_

_Of freedom_

_Katy Rose, Lemon_

* * *

_**8.**_

For an entire five days after her conversation with Bellatrix, Hermione saw no sign of the Death Eater. Lemmy still came once a day with her measly bread, and to check her constant supply of water was clean. There were no more baths, cold or otherwise, she was still forced to use the bucket as her toilet, and so other than her captor's non-attendance, life went on as usual for Hermione in her cell. Whenever Lemmy visited she had tried asking her about Bellatrix to find out where she was, but the elf had denied knowing anything. Whether this was because it was what Bellatrix had ordered her to say or she was lying, Hermione had no way of finding out, but all she knew for certain was that Bellatrix was nowhere to be seen.

It was strange, but Hermione almost missed her. She didn't miss being tortured, or mocked, or made to feel frightened, but she missed setting eyes upon another human, and she missed observing Bellatrix and her features, wondering about her. She had been practising Occlumency even harder in Bellatrix's absence, and had felt mentally and physically stronger from the lack of curses thrown at her. In that respect it was nice, and she felt like she was at least achieving something by practising mind relaxation and defence techniques.

However, she was aware that although she felt better, she was growing weaker with each day that passed. Visibly skinnier, she had noted that her ribs were now prominent, even when she tried to push her stomach out. The lack of nourishment was seriously beginning to affect her; her period had yet to come when it had been due to start the previous week, though in fairness the stressful situation had probably impacted upon her cycle rather than her low body weight, as it was doubtful this had begun to affect her in such a way. Yet. Nevertheless, she couldn't say she cared so much about this; her period would only have been something else for her to worry about, and Bellatrix would not have been sympathetic to her needs in the slightest.

Hermione had just wrapped her towel around herself tighter than previously in an attempt to keep warm (as well as the fact that there was now less of her to draw it around) when she heard the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. Gazing up into the moonlight that shone through the tiny window, she waited, body tensed. Had Bellatrix finally decided to start visiting her once again? The dread set in, knowing that it was likely she would be punished. It was what she'd been worrying about all week; scared that Bellatrix was just waiting for the fear to build up inside her before she approached her once more.

There was suddenly light, and squinting, Hermione turned to face the door. It was not Bellatrix.

Rodolphus Lestrange, her husband.

_Please, no._

"Well well... what have we here?" he said, his voice bitter, sharp.

Remaining silent, Hermione continued to watch him, standing up slowly and feeling vulnerable with him towering above her. He was a tall man, with broad shoulders and dark hair. If not for the malevolent expression that he wore on his face he would be good-looking, though perhaps not quite in the same league as his wife. Bellatrix's face still bore the signs of youth and beauty, whereas Rodolphus' had more of an aged look, and there was a glint in his eye that far outweighed what coldness she had so far seen in Bellatrix's. _How surprising. _As a consequence of this, Hermione didn't want to say or do anything to make him angry; especially not after what Bellatrix had implied about him liking to keep his prisoners naked and chained. Feeling vulnerable, she clutched yet more tightly onto the towel. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing.

"You're Bellatrix's very first pet Mudblood, hmm?" he said, almost growling. "How are you finding it?"

"Ok," Hermione managed to croak out. She knew that either way this was going to end badly, and so hopefully by saying as little as possible he wouldn't be too angry with her and would instead just abuse her because he could, rather than because she had caused his fury. He seemed to be entirely together and not at all willing to converse with her in a fake friendly manner; again, entirely unlike Bellatrix.

"Ok?" Rodolphus repeated, adding sarcastically, "You mean to say my darling wife has not been giving you the two hundred thousand Galleon treatment?"

What did she say to that? A contemptuous reply was definitely off the cards; Hermione knew that contrary to Bellatrix he would not find her to be in the least bit amusing. Instead she waited, wondering if it was just a rhetorical question and she could get away with not replying. Maybe he was just talking to himself and didn't seriously expect her to respond. It was fairly clear to anyone with half a brain that living in the cell was less than desirable.

"Answer me," he commanded.

_No... apparently he does want a reply,_ Hermione sighed inwardly. It was unfortunately that she was actually required to indulge him, but she did so as she said in what she hoped was a toneless voice, "She's been treating me the way you would want her to."

If she named actual curses that had been thrown at her, no doubt Rodolphus would end up trying them himself. Or perhaps it would give him a brainwave for his own prisoners; something that Hermione wanted to play no part in. The thought that there were others out there suffering even more than she herself made her feel sick inside. At least Bellatrix had only one prisoner so far. Although it would be company for her if Bellatrix brought yet more captives into the cell, she would never wish this kind of situation upon anyone. Being along for the most part was horrible, but having to watch another person get tortured would be far worse than going through it herself.

Rodolphus arched an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Hermione really did sigh now. "It means that she tortures me in pretty much every way she can think of." She really didn't want to get too specific, and hoped that Rodolphus wouldn't push her for more information. Part of her wondered if his intention was indeed to gain ideas or inspiration, as perhaps he had exhausted all he knew on whoever he currently had locked up at the moment. Whatever his motivation, Hermione was absolutely not going to give him the satisfaction. Maybe he would get angry at her for claiming not to know anything, but then again, maybe he would just assume she was an idiot. If Bellatrix had not spoken of her cleverness then it was unlikely he knew from any other source; she doubted that Voldemort would reveal such a fact about a _Mudblood_ to his Death Eaters, indeed if he had a clue about her achievements.

Unsmiling, Rodolphus unlocked the cell door, and moved closer to Hermione. "You know, Scumwhore, you're not nearly battered and bruised enough for my liking, considering that you've been so _badly_ tortured," he said, looking her up and down. "I think Bellatrix has been far too kind to you."

Hermione barely had time to register Rodolphus's words before she felt her head crack back against the wall, and she saw stars. He had hit her across the face with far more force than Bellatrix ever had. Unable to prevent herself groaning, she braced herself, somehow intrinsically knowing that it was not yet over. As Rodolphus brought his hand down once more, then again and again with numerous fierce blows until she gave up counting, Hermione was sure that she was going to die. How funny that she should be subjected to so much pain that her death may be caused, by the simple Muggle act of violently beating someone, no less. She had always imagined the Avada Kedavra curse to be the reason for her demise. _Hypocritical bastard Death Eaters._

"Please," she begged, although she knew it was a futile attempt. "Please stop." She tasted blood on her tongue, and her head slumped forward. She didn't want to die like this. If she was going to die then it was going to be Bellatrix who killed her, and she would look her in the eye when she was murdered, her last courageous act on earth. As it was, this was Rodolphus attempting to batter her to death, and it was all she could do to remain standing, let alone looking him in the eye. Not to mention that she was afraid that if she collapsed it would give the Death Eater licence to move onto other forms of torture that were far more painful.

As expected, Rodolphus ignored her request, and gave a command of his own instead. "Take off that filthy, ragged towel."

Hermione whimpered. "N-no."

There was another blow to her face, and suddenly Rodolphus had her pressed up against the wall with his hand around her neck, choking her. "You will do as I say, or I will forcibly remove it from you with a dose of _Crucio_ for good measure," he threatened.

"You'll do that anyway," Hermione gasped. It wasn't as if he would treat her better if she obeyed; he wasn't Bellatrix after all. At least to a certain extent her encounters with Bellatrix weren't solely focused on torture. Rodolphus on the other hand had gotten straight to it, and now appeared determined to break her into smaller pieces than she had already been smashed into.

Rodolphus spat at her. "Have it your way," he said cruelly, not even bothering to force her to listen anymore. Ripping the towel from her, he cast it aside, and leaned in closer to her. "You smell disgusting," he hissed.

Desperately trying not to cry, Hermione squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to think about the fact that she was naked. Maybe if she didn't have to see the look of hatred on his face she would feel braver and manage to stop shaking so much. This was far worse than when she'd first been captured by Bellatrix, for then she had not known what to expect and had hoped for death. On the other hand, now that Bellatrix had already alluded to the fact that Rodolphus treated the Muggle-borns he abducted far worse, Hermione was absolutely terrified. Her terror was further increased by the thought of Bellatrix making an appearance; both of the Death Eaters together was unthinkable. It was doubtful that Bellatrix would defend her, even if she was angry at Rodolphus for interfering with "her pet" as Bellatrix couldn't have cared less about Hermione.

"I think it's time that you were restrained a little better," Rodolphus sneered. Letting go of her, he waved his wand and in another moment Hermione found herself chained to the wall, her arms pinned outwards either side of her. Her legs remained free, but Hermione suspected that should she kick out or put up a fight, Rodolphus would soon chain them too. Although it was against her instincts, she forced herself to remain still so that at least part of her body wasn't entirely restricted.

"Now that your face is looking more like I expected it to," Rodolphus said, referring to Hermione's heavily bleeding nose, swelling eyes, and the blood dripping from her mouth. "I feel it's time for us to move on to something with a little more magic involved. What do you say?"

"Please, don't," Hermione wrenched her eyes open, and tried through her tears to make him listen to her. "I'll do anything you want me to, just please don't hurt me anymore." She was fed up of the constant, incessant pain already, and she had only had to endure if for a few minutes at the most. Chances were Rodolphus would go on like this for hours and hours with no regard for her feelings whatsoever. All he cared about was his own pleasure, and it was evident that he was enjoying himself, the delight visible through his horribly dilated pupils.

Rodolphus raised his eyebrows. "You'll do anything at all, will you? Like let me _fuck_ you? Sick little Mudblood." He pressed himself against her, his clothing the only thing preventing his bare skin from coming into contact with him.

Knowing that she would regret it, knowing what this was likely to mean for her, Hermione nodded her head. If he wanted to touch her, to taint her, she would have to just accept it. Fighting was only going to make it worse, no matter how hard she tried to defend herself. If she had a wand then maybe she would have half a chance against him, but here in this position, she would just have to go along with it. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable; it was bound to happen sooner or later, and she'd rather not have to deal with curse after curse beforehand weakening her, when she could just as easily let him do what he wanted and then try and comfort herself later when he had gone. _If I'm still alive by then._

"Yes," she said in a whisper.

"I'm surprised, Mudblood. I thought you'd put up more of a fight," he mused aloud, and for a split second, he looked unnerved, as though this scenario wasn't going at all the way he had planned it.

"No. No, I'll do whatever you want me to do," Hermione promised, and then inadvertently let out a sob. She didn't know how she was going to get through this, the fear was starting to set in, and the mere thought of what he was going to do made her want to vomit. Shakily, she told him, "Just be quick." The adrenaline currently pumping through her veins would probably keep her calm for no longer than a few minutes before she started to hyperventilate or panic.

Instantly, the moment Rodolphus's eyes flashed, she knew she had said the wrong thing. He slapped her across the face and grabbed her head, forcing her to face his direction whether she liked it or not. Angrily, he shouted, "You do not give me orders; I will take as long as is necessary, you little bitch!"

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"SHUT UP!" He roared. And then, lowering his voice, he said coldly, "I don't think you have learnt your lesson."

Hermione tried to speak once more. "I have, please, just-"

Raising his wand, Rodolphus pointed it at Hermione. He held it still for a few moments, and to Hermione, it looked as though he was deciding exactly what he was going to throw at her. Whatever it was, no doubt it would be something horrendous that she had faced before, or at the very least heard of or read about. If Rodolphus was as bad as Bellatrix had said, then she wasn't going to be in for an easy ride. Although maybe she should use it to her advantage; make Rodolphus so angry that he went too far and accidentally killed her. In fact, she couldn't having given a shit at this moment in time if Voldemort turned her into an Inferi or hung her off the ceiling, mocking her in death as well as life. She didn't have the energy anymore. There would be no more pain and suffering; just peace.

"_CRUCIO!" _

Hermione's protests were cut off as another intense, unbearable wave of pain hit her. She'd had a break from torture ever since Bellatrix had stopped visiting this week, but now it was back with a vengeance, and she remembered just how atrocious it was. She heard herself scream as it felt like her bones were vibrating, and somehow, this was so much worse than anything Bellatrix had ever done to her. Maybe Rodolphus wanted to cause her more suffering than Bellatrix, which in turn increased the strength of the spell he had cast? It didn't make sense to her, but why else would she be in more pain now, considering Bellatix was renowned for her skills as performing the Cruciatus Curse?

She couldn't see anything but blackness, but no matter how hard she tried to fall into the blackness so that she didn't have to hurt anymore, no relief came. _It's like dying without the dying part_, she said in her head, over and over on repeat, trying to focus on the mantra rather than the agony itself. Her throat was burning, though whether that was from screaming so much or the curse itself, she had no idea. Desperately, she needed to take in a breath, but then the pain had been going on for a while now, so she must have been breathing. Right? _Right? RIGHT?_

Overall, it was the longest Cruciatus Curse that Hermione had ever had the misfortune of experience. On and on it seemed to go, no let-up, and all she could hear was Rodolphus calling her names, laughing every time her head jerked back and smacked against the wall. Her body wanted to fall forward, but of course was prevented from doing so by the chains keeping her in place. She was feeling sicker and sicker, her face was still bleeding from numerous places, and...

It stopped.

Sucking in oxygen, Hermione tried to compose herself._ Breathe in. Breathe out._

She felt completely weakened; far worse than after any other Cruciatus curse she had so far experienced at the hands of Bellatrix. She couldn't help thinking that this time it may have gone on for longer than when it was Bellatrix doing the torturing, which scared her immensely. What if her mind had been permanently affected? If Bellatrix hadn't tortured the Longbottom's into insanity all that time ago, then that meant that Rodolphus had most likely played the biggest part, (along with his brother Rabastan if evilness ran in the family) and was therefore extremely apt at such a curse.

"The Cruciatus Curse is a speciality of mine," Rodolphus informed her, as if he could tell what she was thinking, even though Hermione was pretty sure that he wasn't a Legilimens. "Of course, I'm not quite as good as my wife, but still... good enough!"

This confused Hermione, even in her pained state. She had always assumed Bellatrix to be the best at the Cruciatus curse; not her husband. It had been bad suffering because of Bellatrix but nowhere near as agonising as what she had just experienced. Was Bellatrix losing her touch? Hermione doubted she was going easier on her; what reason would Bellatrix have to do such as thing? Still, she supposed that it was best to keep this information to herself; if Rodolphus went back and told Bellatrix what she had said then maybe she would decide to come and practice even more on Hermione to see if she improved at all. Or worse still, Rodolphus would question Bellatrix and then take Hermione for himself, and she would have to face this sort of treatment on a daily basis.

"Is that it now?" Hermione gasped, although she had a feeling that there was a hell of a lot more left in store for her.

"Ohhh... I don't think so," Rodolphus told her. "We've barely even begun, so if I were you I'd brace yourself and prepare for the rest."

"The rest of what?" Hermione asked, though she didn't really want to know the answer.

"The rest of our time together," Rodolphus said. "Did you think that would be it? Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed myself so far, but this isn't the end. Not yet."

The last little bit of hope Hermione was storing away inside her heart disappeared. It was often said that the Cruciatus Curse was the worst curse to suffer when it came to pain, but in Hermione's experience so far there had been many serious contenders. Rodolphus had something else up his sleeve, and Hermione was utterly terrified as to what that something was. Maybe it was worth provoking him so that he did extensive damage until she actually passed out? But no, he would most likely just use the Rennervate spell to force her out of unconsciousness before the suffering began once more.

Flicking his wand, Rodolphus muttered under his breath, almost inaudibly. At once Hermione felt a sharp, pricking pain in her arms, not dissimilar to the sensation of pins and needles. However, compared to the various other methods used against her it was quite bearable, something that must have shown in her face as Rodolphus mused, "No, not quite the curse I was going for. I was hoping for something that would pretty up the rest of your skin in the same way as your face..."

"Why?" Hermione pleaded, clenching her teeth through the pain. "I-I've never done anything t-to you. I'll be-behave, I promise. Just d-don't hurt me anymore, I beg you." She felt as though the next bout of pain would be her last, and she would go crazy from the torment both inside and outside. All she wanted was to feel safe, happy. It wasn't fair; she had only ever tried to be a good person.

Rodolphus paused for a moment. "Why?" He repeated. "I'd have thought that was obvious, you disgusting, foul, hideous, little..." His voice trailed off as he evidently attempted to decide what to call her. Somewhat insipidly, he continued, "_Mudblood._ You're a dirty Mudblood, and you make my skin crawl. You're an unnatural being that is tainting the wizarding world, and you deserve nothing more than to face the consequences for the fact that you have stolen magic and pretended you're a witch who has the right to use magic. You _don't_."

His nostrils flared as he finished, and there was a burning anger in his eyes, a hatred that terrified Hermione beyond everything so far. He truly wanted to hurt her, and nothing she said would make a blind bit of difference. If she protested, tried to reason, she would bet all her savings that he would cut her off before she reached the crux of her speech, and would punish her for speaking out of turn. Nevertheless, determined to say something (it may be her last chance at talking, after all) Hermione said simply, "I'm sorry that you feel that way."

The attitude earned her another slap, but it paled in comparison to what she had already suffered. There wasn't an inch of her body that wasn't currently hurting, and the humiliation she felt due to her nudity wasn't exactly helping the situation either. She tried to distract herself by thinking about her friends, Ron, Harry, Ginny... even Neville and Luna. There were so many people out there that she cared about, and she just hoped that even though she was unlikely to survive the war, that they were doing everything in their power to defeat Voldemort once and for all.

"You know, I think I have the perfect curse in mind for you," Rodolphus informed her, sounding the enthusiastic. "It's something that Snape taught us."

Dread settled in the pit of Hermione's stomach. A spell of Snape's... could it be the one that Harry found in the Potions book belonging to the Half Blood Prince? Or rather, Snape? Feeling sicker than ever; Hermione tried desperately to remember the incantation, and more importantly, what was the counter-curse? Not that she would get a chance to use it without a wand, (and it was doubtful she would be strong enough to use it on herself even if she did get hold of one) but still, she would at least be able to mime it over and over, hoping that it would have some effect, that a miracle would happen. Or did she want to die? She didn't know anymore, she didn't know a thing.

"_SECTUMSEMPRA!_"

Hermione remembered the curse just as Rodolphus shouted it, making slashing motions across her torso as he did so. Immediately there was an intense unbearable pain, followed by blood spurting from her wounds. Crying out, she felt her heartbeat start to race as the blood kept coming, spilling out on the floor underneath her. She watched, a sort of morbid fascination, unable to look away. There were several slashes, diagonal across her stomach, large enough that the blood flowing from them made her feel dizzy, and her mind started to cloud over. Maybe this was her death... maybe he would not heal her and all the pain would now stop.

Blinking fast, Hermione tried to keep her head upright. She wanted to say something, speak her last words, even if it was to a Death Eater. There would be no way of getting a message to her friends and family that she loved them, but she could still say them, if only to make herself feel better. "I-I love m-my friends and... and p-parents," she said weakly, talking to herself. _I'm sorry Harry, Ron. Mum, Dad. I love you. I love you._

Before she could fully slip into nothingness, there was a bang. Her hazy vision showed her Rodolphus thrown back against the wall, falling to the ground and groaning before appearing to lose consciousness. Trying to focus, Hermione looked up to discover the source of the noise when she saw her.

_Bellatrix._

Inexplicably, relief flooded her veins, filling them in a way that the blood dripping down to the floor never could. _But no, this is my chance to die, _she told herself_. Let me. Let it be over, please._


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you once again for the overwhelming amount of support! Just one point to make, as much as I appreciate everyone really wanting updates, I update as often as I can. I only updated two days ago my lovely readers! :P As well as working I have a busy social life seeing friends several times a week amongst other things like feeding my addiction to fashion, haha.**  
**

**Whurmy-**Haha, thanks for the review... it did amuse me! I think if you hate Rodolphus you're going to like this part. :P

**Anti-Gravity11**- The reason for Bellatrix's Cruciatus Curse not being as strong won't be revealed yet, but rest assured that with time all will become clear. I'm not as evil as Bellatrix though right? :P

**LazehWritahGurl3**- Glad I had you on edge, I was aiming for tension throughout.

**OpheliaBlack**- This part pretty much answers your review... you're amazing at guessing things about this fic though. Don't know how you do it but well done!

**ladygoddess-** I think you'll like this part then. :P

**Anon**- I'm going to take being called a jerk as a joke. At least I assume it was? Haha!

**greeneleka-** Thank you! I was worried about Rodolphus not being believable seeing as we know barely anything about him, but I imagined that he would have introduced Bellatrix to Voldemort considering the flashback that showed him sat at a table with Nott, Avery Mulciber and Tom Riddle.

**Jaiden-** Thank you very much, I'm glad you like the decisions I've made so far. :)

**ICouldBeSuper**- Don't worry, I know what you mean. And all will become clear as to why Bellatrix isn't torturing Hermione to the extent she could be, but not for a while yet. The story will be progressing in other ways, however, within the next few parts.

**elfspirit-** Alas, that is the one question I will not answer. I will however say this; you get your answer in chapter 12, so not long to go!

**ScOut4It**- Thank you for your reviews, and I'm glad you have faith in my story. You will indeed have a complete one eventually, I assure you.

* * *

_I wish you were a stranger I could disengage_

_Just say that we agree and then never change_

_Soften a bit until we all just get along_

_The Fray, Over my head_

* * *

_**9.**_

Hermione must have passed out because when she awoke she was lying on the floor of her cell, with no recollection of how she had been released from the restraints. She assumed it was Bellatrix who had freed her, as the raven haired witch was leant over her, almost singing what looked to be the counter-curse to Sectumsempra, as she traced her wands over the wound Hermione had suffered. Attempting to lift her head up, Hermione tried to catch a glimpse of her injuries to see whether they were healing, but she found that she was too weak. Instead she slumped her head back against the floor and concentrated on breathing in and out, hoping that her rapid heartbeat would calm or just give out completely. Either one would do her fine, though preferably the latter.

After what felt like a few more minutes, Bellatrix stopped the incantation and said sharply, "Stay still and don't move. Understand?"

Feebly, Hermione nodded her head. Bellatrix must have determined that it was a nod, however, as she stood up and walked over to Rodolphus. Hermione turned her head to see Bellatrix take his wand before she flicked her own, bringing him out of unconsciousness. Moaning, Rodolphus opened his eyes, and upon fixing his eyes on Bellatrix his expression changed, and he glared at his wife looking as though he utterly loathed her.

He appeared to search around for his wand, and when he realised it was nowhere around him, he commanded, "Give me my wand, Bellatrix."

"You can have it back in a moment," she said dismissively. "First, I want to speak to you." Eyes blazing, she lifted her foot and slammed it down against Rodolphus's stomach. _Hard._

"What the fuck, Bellatrix?" Rodolphus yelped, and then catching his breath, he asked angrily, "What is your problem?"

Bellatrix repeated the action, shrieking, "My problem? My problem, you pathetic little bastard is that you nearly killed my pet! It's insulting enough that you decided to take it upon yourself to come and play with her without my permission, but to find her in such a mess is going too far!"

"Well if you did a proper job with her then I wouldn't have to," Rodolphus spat. "How exactly have you had any fun with _that_?"

"Unlike you, Rodolphus, I like my Mudblood to be capable of conversation and to be able to look after herself. I don't exactly relish the idea of constantly having to go out looking for replacements because my pets keep dying on me. She is a satisfactory choice that I am happy with!" Bellatrix retorted.

"Happy with her?" Rodolphus said, standing up, only swaying slightly. "You make it sound as though you actually_ like_ her."

Hermione was unable to see Bellatrix's expression from the angle she was lying in, but she assumed it was somewhere along the line of murderous as even Rodolphus looked disconcerted for a brief moment. Whether Bellatrix was insulted with the idea or furious that he had gotten it exactly right, Hermione didn't know. Nevertheless, she did suspect that there was something Bellatrix saw in her that was appealing, hence why she had lasted so long.

Rodolphus, looking worried took a step back so that he was now right up against the wall, and could move no further away from his wife.

"I like the fact that she is alive; nothing more," Bellatrix said, her voice quiet, dangerous. "What exactly are you implying?"

Rodolphus stared. "I think you know _exactly_ what I am implying."

Another bang, and Rodolphus was on the floor. Seconds later and he was writhing around, screaming in agony as Bellatrix performed what Hermione assumed to be a non-verbal Cruciatus Curse. It looked horrendous, and sounded worse. For a brief moment, Hermione wondered if that was what she looked like when it was happening to her. If so, it was horrible. _Don't do this. No._

"You don't ever do this again," Bellatrix said, briefly stopping to command Rodolphus. "Next time, I will do to you exactly what you have done to_ my_ Mudblood, and more. Do you understand?"

Rodolphus ignored her.

As Bellatrix performed the Cruciatus Curse again, Hermione squeezed her eyes shut. She felt so weak and vulnerable that all she wanted was to pass out again, but she had no such luck. Moreover, Bellatrix seemed determined to teach Rodolphus a lesson, as she allowed the curse to go on for longer than the previous time, until Rodolphus's screams were so loud that his voice began to sound hoarse from the force of his yells.

After what felt like forever, the screaming stopped. Bellatrix threw Rodolphus's wand at him, and ordered. "Get out of my sight! GO ON! GO!"

Shaking, (though with rage or fright it was hard to distinguish) Rodolphus lifted his wand and scrambled past Bellatrix, out of the cell to Apparate home, Hermione assumed. He didn't protest or threaten Bellatrix and merely left immediately without another word. Considering his behaviour, Hermione got the feeling that Bellatrix had done this sort of thing to him before, and that by now he was used to it. Part of her hated that she had to witness his pain, whereas the other more sadistic side of her believed that he deserved it and that it was his fault. Never had she thought herself capable of thinking this way, but after all she had been through there were changes going on inside her own head that she could not control.

"Lemmy!" Bellatrix said, ignoring Hermione for the moment, still facing in the direction Rodolphus had lay.

Immediately the house-elf appeared. She gazed at Hermione with fright, and then fixed her gigantic eyes upon Bellatrix. "You called, Mistress Bella?"

"Lemmy, I need you to bring me a Blood-Replenishing Potion," Bellatrix said firmly. "Quickly!"

"Yes, Mistress Bella," Lemmy squeaked, and Apparated away without so much as a glance in Hermione's direction.

Finally, Bellatrix walked back over to Hermione. "You will need to drink the potion the moment she returns or your life will be in danger again."

Hermione swallowed. "I don't particularly want to live anyway."

"Well you're going to," Bellatrix said sharply. "You will do as I say."

Kneeling down beside Hermione, she began healing each of the wounds that Rodolphus had caused her that hadn't been serious enough for her to attend to before. Not only did she heal, but she did so tenderly, not so roughly as to cause Hermione further pain. Despite her vulnerable position Hermione couldn't find it in herself to be too embarrassed by the fact she was naked, her dirty towel discarded to the side. Bellatrix had seemingly chosen to ignore this vulnerability and therefore so would she. Besides, she was so consumed with shock at the fact that Bellatrix had defended her, saving her from Rodolphus, that she didn't have time to focus on the more humiliating aspects. Bellatrix had not joined in, even going so far as to save her life. It didn't make much sense at the moment, and unfortunately Hermione was still far too weak to consider the meaning of this in detail. What would it achieve, anyhow?

Not having the strength to argue with Bellatrix, Hermione didn't reply to her statement. The silence wasn't so bad, but she thought Bellatrix was staring at her. She couldn't be sure, however; no way did Hermione have the courage to look directly at her, scared that she would say something hurtful. It was doubtful that the Death Eater would attack her when she was in such a weak and vulnerable state, but that wouldn't stop her from offending Hermione with her words to make up for it. Bellatrix was evidently furious at the moment, but Hermione didn't know whether that fury was directed at herself, Rodolphus, or perhaps even both of them.

When Lemmy returned, she handed the Blood-Replenishing Potion straight to Bellatrix. She glanced at Hermione, gave a terrified squeak, and then with a crack left immediately after Bellatrix had dismissed her. Doing as she was told, Hermione drank the potion, and found that within seconds she had started to feel stronger and more like her old self. She still felt shaky and seriously ill, but no longer as though she were on the verge of passing out.

"Did my dear husband cause you any other injuries that I cannot see?" Bellatrix asked eventually, sitting beside Hermione on the floor. She no longer sounded as angry as she had a few moments ago. If Hermione didn't know any better she would say that Bellatrix seemed concerned. _Almost. Just a little bit. Slightly. _

"No," Hermione said quietly. "Other than the ones to my face you dealt with. Oh and a threat to rape me, of course."

Hissing through her teeth, Bellatrix mumbled something under her breath.

"Pardon?" Hermione asked, curious. She wasn't sure she was meant to hear, of that she was certain, but there was no harm in asking. Was there? Sure, with Bellatrix there was always the risk of harm, though would she dare to lay a finger on Hermione after what had just happened? On some level she had to care about keeping Hermione here, because otherwise she wouldn't have acted so swiftly in an attempt to keep her alive.

Apparently asking sometimes paid off, as Bellatrix did indeed deign to answer Hermione. "I said that if he does it again, I will murder him myself."

_She does care,_ Hermione thought, before seconds later reality hit home. Bellatrix was just angry that Rodolphus had interfered with her business and almost taken away Hermione, someone she saw as her possession. It would have been the same no matter who he had taken; Bellatrix was livid with Rodolphus for his behaviour, and she didn't give a damn about Hermione's suffering. Here in this cell, Hermione's only identity was that of a Mudblood, and it was about time she started remembering that, even if Bellatrix did appreciate that she was a Mudblood with brains. _That's all it is, Hermione. Idiot._

"I'm just thankful that I bothered to pay attention to Snape when he told me of the Counter-Curse," Bellatrix continued.

_I'm not_, Hermione wanted to say, but she managed to restrain herself. Instead, she replied, "He would have done it, wouldn't he?"

"Done what?" Bellatrix frowned.

"Raped me," Hermione said, ignoring the bile at the back of her throat. Never before had she been in such a terrifying situation. It was the sort of thing that appeared in Muggle newspapers all the time, but in the wizarding world, it had never been so much of a prominent problem. Oh it happened of course, but far less often than it did in the Muggle world. In that respect, the Death Eaters did have a point. There was evil in the Muggle world much the same as the wizarding world. The only difference was that the majority of evil in the wizarding world was caused by Death Eaters, whereas in the Muggle UK, it was a variety of people. Delinquents, criminals, chavs, call them what you must, but they caused pain much the same as Voldemort's supporters did.

Bellatrix sighed. "Yes. Yes, he probably would. Honestly, I'm surprised it isn't the first thing he did before he beat you. You're a pretty little thing, after all."

Her comment unnerved Hermione. No sarcasm followed, no offensive nickname. Searching Bellatrix's face for a sign of amusement, Hermione found none. All she saw was that Bellatrix looked utterly exhausted, for there were purple tinted bags under her eyes, and her cheekbones were more prominent than usual, as though she had been losing weight. Her skin was paler too, her brown eyes not as lively. If she were a Muggle then Hermione would have considered her to have gone on a week-long drug or alcohol fuelled binge. Parties, raves, pubs and clubs, anything to forget the pain. And then she remembered that wizards drank too; they just had their own versions of popular Muggle drinks, and didn't do things quite in the same fashion as Muggles, though the basic premise was the same.

Shaking her head, Hermione focused once more on the present. "I think it's because I pissed him off," she confessed. "He... he doesn't like to talk like you. He just wanted to hurt me."

"I warned you," Bellatrix threw at her. "Didn't I tell you that you had it easy, here with me? Of course, I didn't want _him_ to know that, but between us... don't you see, now, little one?"

"Yes," Hermione said, because honestly, she did. She now saw what she had failed to properly see before she had gotten to know Bellatrix a little better; there was humanity left inside the older woman. It was a very small amount, but it was present, and if Hermione could just nurture that, encourage it to grow, then maybe there would be hope for Bellatrix yet. It was unlikely, but then hadn't she been told time and time again that anything was possible if you tried hard enough? Ever since she was a young child her parents had encouraged her to be the best she could at everything she did, and so Hermione would make it her mission to bring Bellatrix around to her way of thinking, no matter how tough things got. Plus, she liked the idea of there being a secret between herself and Bellatrix; it strengthened their slowly growing bond. Why she liked this idea so much she wasn't fully aware, but she guessed it may be that she just craved friendly contact with another human being.

"You look awful," Bellatrix said bluntly, her eyes sweeping over Hermione's naked form, as if she had only just noticed that Hermione was not wearing her towel.

Hermione didn't take offence to this; she knew it to be true. Her injuries may have been healed, but that didn't mean she looked any better considering that she was probably pale and drawn from the shock of what happened. "I know," she agreed.

Bellatrix sighed again, and conjured with her wand a clean, fresh towel for Hermione to wear. "Put this on for now, and I'll get my house-elf to give you a bath."

"Really?" Hermione asked, suspicious.

Why was Bellatrix being so nice to her? Or at least, as nice as it was possible for a Death Eater to be? She may not be doling out the hugs and fussing over Hermione, but this was so much coming from a person such as Bellatrix, who cared about nothing and no one, and liked to torture just for the fun of it. Hermione didn't want to ask the question aloud, but it must have showed in her face (or else Bellatrix used her Legilimency skills so successfully that she didn't even know what she was doing or feel the after-effects) as Bellatrix explained herself anyway.

"I feel ill just looking at your dirty blood dripping all over my floor," she said disdainfully. "The sooner you're cleaned up, the better."

Nodding, Hermione remained silent. It was a feeble excuse marred with an insult that Bellatrix was most likely hoping would draw Hermione's attention away from her kindness. Hadn't she tried a similar trick in the bathroom herself? She tried to remain impassive about this, knowing that feelings and emotions would make it easier for Bellatrix to see what she was thinking, but it was hard when there was a rush of gratitude naturally crashing through her chest. Her parents had brought her up to be thankful for every small gift she was ever given, and this so far was the only real compassion she had received from Bellatrix.

Even if she were forced to have a cold bath, at least in the aftermath she would feel clean once again. Maybe if she was nice enough to Lemmy and there was the opportunity, the house-elf would cast another Heat Charm for her. She doubted that Bellatrix would go to the lengths of forbidding her to do that; it most probably hadn't even entered her mind.

Remembering that Bellatrix was only inches away from her and that in her weakened state she would be able to continue seeing inside her head without a great deal of effort, Hermione quickly forced her mind to go blank. She needn't have worried, however, as Bellatrix was already leaving.

"My house-elf will be along shortly," she said, as she locked the cell once more, leaving Hermione lying on the floor without so much as a backwards glance.

* * *

_**October 1969**_

"_So you see, it really is that simple. Magic is might, Bellatrix," Lord Voldemort said._

_Awed, Bellatrix nodded. For the last hour she had listened quietly whilst the stranger, calling himself Lord Voldemort, explained exactly what his plans were for the wizarding world, politically and beyond. He stood for everything that she had been taught was right from a young age, and moreover, he explained that by helping him, she could have all she had ever wanted. Power... glory... the world at her feet. Those that provided the best service to him and were the most loyal, Lord Voldemort had explained, would be rewarded beyond their wildest dreams. The reddish glow in his eyes made Bellatrix believe in him, for some inexplicable reason. His sharper than sharp cheekbones, deathly pale skin, thin lips and flattish nose all contributed to the waves of power he gave off, though Bellatrix couldn't explain that either. Lord Voldemort was like nothing she had ever seen before. _

_Pure-bloods would rule, he said. It was wrong that so many Mudbloods were infiltrating the magical world, tainting its' purity. They would be stripped of their powers, and punished accordingly. Those in control would create a better place for everyone worthy of studying magic, and would make the wizarding race far more powerful than it currently was. What could be better? What more could Bellatrix, a worthy pure-blood, possible want?_

"_Are you interested in becoming a part of the cause, Bellatrix? Rodolphus has already agreed to work for me, and I would be most obliged if you would too," Lord Voldemort told her with an emotionless smile. _

"_Of course," Bellatrix said, no hesitation whatsoever. This was what she had been waiting for since she was a small child who had learned she would be married off to another pure-blood and expected to serve a man that she most likely didn't love. It would give her something to focus on, a job that she could put her heart and soul into. This wizard, Lord Voldemort, was going to be the answer to all her problems and more. He was going to give her what she had always wanted; a purpose in life._

"_Wonderful," Lord Voldemort said swiftly. "I must leave now, for I have another meeting to attend with others interested in being of service to me. I will be in touch to discuss what the next stage is as soon as I believe I have the right amount of people necessary for us to proceed to the next stage."_

"_We understand," Rodolphus said, and Bellatrix shot him a dirty look. What right did he have to answer for her? The only reason she had married him was because it was what was expected of her; it didn't give him the right to start treating her like she was his with no mind of her own._

_Turning back to Lord Voldemort, Bellatrix's eyes connected with his. A hint of another icy smile played around his cheeks, and if Bellatrix didn't know any better, she would have imagined him to know exactly what she was thinking. But no, how ridiculous. Legilimency was one of the most complex skills to acquire, something that was evident from Bellatrix's attempts so far. She was determined to become accomplished, but to become truly proficient it may take years longer, for she was not satisfied to merely perform it to a mediocre level._

"_Perhaps you could show me to the door?" Lord Voldemort said, pointedly looking at Bellatrix. Rodolphus looked slightly discomforted at the request, but he kept his mouth shut, not even attempting to protest. Perhaps he sensed that he would be ridiculed, mocked. Whatever the motivation, Bellatrix was grateful._

"_I would be most obliged," she said graciously, and standing, she led the way through the vast hallway, over to the heavy, rich brown, oak door. She opened it and stood backwards, leaving more than enough room for Lord Voldemort to pass._

"_You know, Bellatrix," Lord Voldemort said. "Legilimency and Occlumency would be far easier for you if you did not allow your emotions to get in the way."_

"_I don't," Bellatrix denied. And then, deciding there was no point in her acting as though Lord Voldemort hadn't been inside her mind, she added, "As you've seen for yourself, there is no love between myself and Rodolphus."_

"_I am not talking about love," Lord Voldemort said, and he looked disgusted. "Love is nothing. I mean the other emotions that you feel; frustration, anger, hatred. You must learn to channel those feelings through others means in situations where it will benefit you."_

"_Such as?" Bellatrix asked, unsure what he was referring to._

_Explaining, Lord Voldemort gave an example immediately. "Such as purification of the wizarding race."_

_Bellatrix frowned. "I don't... how? How would I do that?"_

_Lord Voldemort smiled. "That's what we'll discuss upon our next meeting. For now just concentrate on abolishing your emotions. Occlumency is just as essential as Legilimency, especially considering that they go hand in hand and learning one will help you to understand the other." Bowing his head, he span on his foot to leave, and at once Bellatrix knew that she was permitted to ask no more questions for the moment. She watched Lord Voldemort walk, seemingly gliding with each step he took down the driveway._

_Bellatrix shut the door, and upon turning around, she was faced with Rodolphus. How much had he heard?_

"_So? What did you think?" He asked, surveying her._

_Without delving into her husband's mind and just by reading the look on his face, Bellatrix could tell that he had heard nothing of her last conversation with Lord Voldemort. She smiled, genuinely happy for the first time in as long as she could remember. "I thought he was brilliant."_

* * *

When Lemmy had led Hermione to the bathroom without Bellatrix attending, Hermione was surprised. That surprise turned to shock when she was guided into a bath of hot water with bubbles that immediately made Hermione feel calmer, relaxed. She wondered briefly if there was actually something in the bath, or if she was just relieved to be getting treated like a human for a change, and imagining that the bath was an external cause of this. Either way, she didn't really care. She was just going to appreciate it whilst it lasted.

Lying in the bath, Hermione remained still as Lemmy fussed over her. The elf had immediately set about washing her hair, and even running her hands over the marks left by the Sectumsempra spell, and making them fade drastically, as though they were year old scars. At once, Hermione was reminded of just how strong elf magic was when they were permitted to use it. The lasting aches felt much better, and the throbbing stopped the moment Lemmy had passed her hands over each one.

"Lemmy cannot make the injuries disappear entirely, Miss," Lemmy informed her. "But Lemmy can help stop the pain and make them look not so bad as they heal."

"You... you've done more than enough already, thank you, Lemmy," Hermione said gratefully.

"This one here," Lemmy said, gesturing to Hermione's stomach that was half covered in bubbles. "This one was the worst, was it not?"

"Yes," Hermione said, trying not to think about the Sectumsempra Curse that had nearly killed her. For just a few moments she wanted to forget the world around her and allow her mind and body to heal.

"Master Rodolphus is a bad man," Lemmy muttered, and Hermione stiffened, sure that Lemmy was about to hurt herself for speaking ill of her Master. But the attempt at self-injury never came, leaving Hermione confused.

"Are you... are you allowed to say such things about your Master?" she queried, then realising how it must have sounded, added quickly, "Not that I mind, I just... well I didn't think elves could do that without punishing themselves."

Lemmy shook her head. "No Miss, we can't. But Lemmy belongs to Mistress Bella, and she says that Lemmy can say anything Lemmy likes about her husband, Miss. She says he... she says he's..." Lemmy's voice trailed off.

"She says he's what, Lemmy?" Hermione asked, curious.

"She says he is an_ arse_," Lemmy whispered.

Hermione grinned, and then, without thinking, she laughed. It was a full-blown belly laughed that made the wound on her stomach throb, but still she continued. For the first time since she had been brought here, she had found something truly hilarious.

"Is... is you ok?" Lemmy asked, looking worried.

"F-fine, Lemmy," Hermione said, her laughter tailing off. "I just... well you cheered me up, Lemmy. Thanks!"

"No problem," Lemmy replied, still looking confused, but no longer pressing the issue. Changing the subject, she informed Hermione, "When we is done here, Lemmy is to take you to Mistress Bella's bedroom."

The smile was wiped from Hermione's face as she heard this. "Wh-what do you mean?" she stammered.

"It is where she told Lemmy to bring you," Lemmy explained. "She said Lemmy is to dry you, make you presentable and take you to her room."

"But she didn't say why?" Hermione pressed.

"No Miss, she did not," Lemmy said regretfully.

No longer able to relax, Hermione started to feel frightened. Why would Bellatrix want her brought to her bedroom? It didn't make any sense. Other than when she had first arrived and the two trips to the bathroom, Hermione had been cooped up in her little cell twenty-four seven. It could be simply that Bellatrix was bored of having to see Hermione there, but then why ask to see her in the bedroom? Why not ask Lemmy to take her to one of the downstairs rooms? The entire situation was confusing to Hermione, and she had no idea what was going on in Bellatrix's head_. If only I had a clue at how to perform Legilimency,_ she thought, feeling frustrated.

"Oh and Lemmy almost forgot Miss, before Lemmy takes you to Mistress Bella's bedroom, you must come to the kitchen to eat a proper meal. It is late though, nearly twelve already, and Mistress Bella wants to sleep so you must be quick," Lemmy added.

"Huh?" Hermione said. What in the name of Merlin was Bellatrix playing at? Not only had she been granted a bath, but she was being given food as well? Hermione felt as though she might pass out from the shock of it.

"You needs to eat, Miss," Lemmy admonished, as though Hermione had been requesting only a lump of bread a day herself, and was rejecting all offers of food. "It will help you to recover."

"Ok," Hermione said, knowing she wasn't going to get anymore information out of Lemmy. The house-elf seemed to be told all she needed to know and sometimes a little more, but evidently not in this case. Bellatrix had clearly not explained why she wanted Hermione to be treated differently all of a sudden, and so Hermione would just have to do as she was told and go along with it, enjoying it whilst it lasted.

"Does you like pasta?" Lemmy squeaked.

Hermione managed a small smile for the elf who was only trying to be nice to her, even though she suddenly felt like crying. It wasn't her fault that there was a war, that her Mistress was fighting for the wrong side. Lemmy was not the prejudice one, and she was not responsible for Hermione's friends and family being put in danger by the current circumstances. She was just doing her job, obeying the Mistress that she served and relaying a message to Hermione. That was all.

Blinking back the tears, Hermione forced out a reply, trying to sound bright and cheerful. "Yes, I do Lemmy. That sounds great."


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for the lovely feedback as always. I hope you like this part, I'm pretty nervous about posting it. Word of warning, I will try my utmost hardest to update in a couple of days but I have a friend coming to stay and so we're going to be out quite a bit. Rest assured, I will do my best to post in a couple of days regardless though my darlings. :)**  
**

**OpheliaBlack- **You will find out if you read on. ;)

**Zainia**- Thank you very much. I'm glad that you enjoy this, especially considering that it is your first femslash!

**Thinuil- **Don't worry on the review front, I appreciate you taking the time to reply at all! It's nice to know that I have a fan, hehe.

**Whurmy-** I enjoyed writing Rodolphus getting his arse kicked... never have been a Rodolphus fan!

**Anti-Gravity11**- Well I hope you'll like this chapter because it answers your questions to a certain extent. :)

**Angoiss**- I really like that description of Bellatrix, "Sadist with a heart of gold." Wish I'd thought of that for the fic!

**ladygoddess**- Yes, yes and yes. I have nothing more to add for the moment, but you're spot on!

**elfspirit**- Hehe, you're lucky. My original plan was to have it much later but I changed it because I think it works better the way I've written it now. Hopefully when chapter 12 is posted you will agree. :P

**GothicPheonix**- Me too. :)

**Sonya Alexander**- Yes, this was something I debated, but I figured that whilst Hermione would be terrified initially, eventually the Gryffindor bravery inside her would kick in and adrenaline would keep her going.

**Cobrastryke**- Unfortunately not! I would love to be one day though... if you know of any agents that want me then give me a shout, hehe.

**ICouldBeSuper**- Well I think that hopefully you'll find this chapter provides some of those answers at least. Haha, thanks for the love/hate! :)

**katyCat-101**- Hehe, yes, you may have an inkling as to part of it... watch this space and find out in 2 chapters time if you're right. :P

* * *

_I'm a million different people_

_From one day to the next_

_I can't change my mind_

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no_

_The Verve, Bittersweet Symphony_

* * *

_**10.**_

Although Hermione was grateful to be given some proper food, (and a clean towel to wear, not to mention the fact that she was given a toothbrush to brush her teeth with for the second time since her arrival) she was still terrified by whatever she was going to face that evening. She felt so sick that she didn't want to eat, but she forced down every mouthful, knowing it was unlikely she would get this sort of treatment again. Lemmy had watched her, evidently under the orders of Bellatrix who didn't want her to be left alone to sneak a kitchen knife under her towel. Even if she'd had the opportunity, Hermione wasn't sure if she could have pulled it off; Bellatrix was a far above average witch, and armed with a wand, meaning that bar Hermione getting hold of a wand herself she didn't have a chance against the Death Eater. Moreover, she doubted she was physically capable of it; taking a human life was not something that was easily done as far as Hermione was concerned.

Every step that Hermione took towards Bellatrix's room made her rapidly increasing heartbeat thud in her chest, and she dragged her feet along, hoping to prolong her next encounter with Bellatrix for just a little longer. On her way to the bedroom she looked through doors she had not been near before, and noted that there was a large library through one of them, with a Pensieve visible in the centre. And books. Lots of beautiful books. Oh, how she missed the library and all that it had to offer! With a pang in her chest, she forced herself to continue following Lemmy, doing as she was told.

"Here we are Miss," Lemmy said, stopping outside a door. It was shut completely, and Hermione realised that this must be Bellatrix's bedroom.

"Aren't you coming in?" Hermione asked, hoping for Lemmy to at least accompany her through the door.

"No Miss," Lemmy shook her head."Mistress Bella wants you to go in alone."

"Oh, ok," Hermione said, dread mounting. What was going through Bellatrix's head? More games? Swallowing her fear, she said in a small voice, "Well, thanks for everything, Lemmy."

"No problem, Miss Hermione. Goodbye!" Lemmy smiled and took a dramatic bow.

Before Hermione had a chance to reply, Lemmy had disappeared with a loud crack. Sighing, knowing she could put this off no longer, Hermione knocked on the door and waited for the sharp _"Come in"_ before she entered nervously.

Bellatrix's bedroom was different to how she had imagined it to be. Hermione had considered that it would be dark, dreary, and perhaps with a few heads of Muggles mounted on the wall. However, observing the walls she discovered them to be a deep gold colour, with a matching plush carpet beneath her feet. There was a large window overlooking the garden where a Willow tree could be seen, and a door next to the window that Hermione assumed led to the bathroom. Against the opposite wall was a dressing table with a wide mirror over it, two huge wardrobes, and a King Size bed that had curtains surrounding it, although these were drawn back to reveal Bellatrix wearing a black night dress, lying on the bed.

"Well well, don't you scrub up well," Bellatrix said in a cheery tone of voice, a grin on her face. Her curls fell around her face, and she looked the most relaxed and normal that Hermione had ever seen her.

Remaining silent, she stood in the doorway, waiting to be told what to do next.

Rolling her eyes, Bellatrix beckoned Hermione to come closer. Cautiously, Hermione stepped forward, jumping when Bellatrix pointed her wand directly at her and the door slammed behind her. She tried not to show fear on her face, but Bellatrix was an expert at reading the slightest bit of panic someone felt and picked up on it immediately. "Why do you look so worried, hmm little Muddy one?"

"I'd have thought that was obvious," Hermione said slowly, not even attempting to deny that she was nervous and apprehensive about this new situation that had been presented to her. "Why am I here?"

"I thought that after the..._ incident _with Rodolphus today, you could do with being pampered," Bellatrix said brightly, sounding ever so slightly insane. "Or would you rather sleep in your cell?"

"Huh?" Hermione frowned. "I'm here to_ sleep_?"

It seemed like such an innocent reason for her to be here, far beyond what Hermione had imagined to be the real explanation. She still didn't trust Bellatrix one little bit, but something in the woman's voice made her want to believe that she was telling the truth. There was the smallest bit of disappointment inside her, pulsing, but she chose to ignore that, just as she had on previous occasions. Under no circumstances was she ever going to allow herself to think about _that_.

"What else would you be doing here?" Bellatrix asked, confused. As Hermione blushed, she comprehended exactly what Hermione had thought to be the real reason, and flashed her another grin. "Ohh no. No, Granger; I'm not Rodolphus. I may enjoying_ playing_ with you and showing you who's the boss, but having a little Mudblood girl sob underneath me whilst I shag her is not my idea of a turn-on."

Cheeks darkening even more, Hermione looked down at the floor. She was so humiliated, stood here in her stupid bloody towel, having to listen to Bellatrix mock her. Part of her wanted to shout and argue back, but if she did that then Bellatrix would just throw her back downstairs into the freezing cell, and punish her accordingly. "That's a relief," she muttered.

"Unless you_ want_ me to shag you?" Bellatrix pressed on, ignoring Hermione. "Is that what you want, Mudbaby?"

"You're kidding, right?" Hermione replied, looking up, shocked. "I have no desire for you to touch me. _Ever_." She would ignore the thoughts in her head, because they weren't real. Being locked in a cell for so long had apparently screwed up her mind, because that could be the only half-logical explanation for why she had images of Bellatrix in all the wrong contexts flickering through her head right now.

Realising just in time that Bellatrix was going to break into her mind, Hermione prepared herself straight away. Another period of hardcore practice meant that she had improved dramatically since the last occasion, and Hermione defended herself at once, even despite her current physical weakness. This time there were no random flashes before her eyes, no mini-breakthrough for Bellatrix, and she had a cast iron defence against the older witch's Legilimency. Seconds passed and there was a sudden bang; she had somehow managed to disarm Bellatrix of her wand.

Bellatrix dived for her wand on the floor below her, as though Hermione would attempt to reach it before her, even though she was far closer and Hermione didn't stand a chance. "How did you do that?" Bellatrix asked, shocked. "You don't have a wand!"

Breathing hard, Hermione tried to stop herself from shaking, weaker than ever. She fell to her knees, unable to stand any longer. "Uncontrollable magic," she said hoarsely. "I... I didn't mean to do it so... well I didn't need a wand."

Bellatrix continued to observe her. "And you kept me out of your mind entirely. You're getting better at Occlumency. How? And more to the point, why?" she sneered. "What are you thinking about that you don't want me to see?"

Hermione had prepared herself for this question long ago, forming a believable answer in her head and forcing herself to sound stronger than she felt. "I'm getting better because I am bored out of my mind being stuck in that cell all day, and there is nothing else to do but spend hours practicing. As for why; I need a place to escape where I am alone, where I can think privately and just be me, Hermione, instead of your_ Mudblood_. I'm not thinking about anything I don't want you to see, I just want my own secret thoughts and my own little world to hide in sometimes," she said passionately, and then she held her breath, hoping that Bellatrix would believe her, and not punish her for such an insolent answer. Or try harder to break into her mind so she didn't stand a chance if Bellatrix continued to try and overpower her defences, her energy seeping away more and more each time.

Appearing amazed at Hermione's reply, Bellatrix nodded, eyes wide, speechless. She'd gotten away with it. _Thank you._

"Now, if you really did invite me here to sleep, can we please just go to bed now? I'm exhausted," Hermione said, cocky, but sure she could get away with it. For good measure, she added, "I think I need a decent night's sleep to help my wounds heal properly; your house-elf did everything she could but there is still some pain."

"Fine," Bellatrix said sharply. "We shall sleep."

Hermione staggered over to the bed in relief, but before she could lie down, Bellatrix had slapped her backwards. Confused, Hermione drew back. "What have I done?"

"You _idiot,_" Bellatrix said, seething. "You're not sleeping in my bed; you're sleeping on the floor below! I'm going to bind your legs together to stop you trying to escape or do anything stupid, but I'll leave your hands free because I am trusting you at least that much to behave yourself, ok?"

Inexplicably, Hermione felt deflated to know that she was going to be separate from Bellatrix, sleeping below her. My place in life. _Below, underneath, never pure._ It made her feel vulnerable to lie on the carpet directly beneath and next to Bellatrix's form, for she knew intrinsically the older witch had her wand in hand, though she could no longer see her. The moment that Bellatrix bound her legs she felt even worse, and lying still, Hermione tried to calm herself. It didn't help her to feel any better when Bellatrix switched off the lights, enveloping them both in darkness. Trying to breathe quietly, Hermione told herself that it was going to be ok, that this was still her chance of the best night's sleep in a while with the carpet underneath her instead of a freezing, dirty stone floor.

Bellatrix was unlikely to be fully asleep, Hermione knew, just in case anything happened in the night that would require her to act swiftly. Not that she had any intention of provoking the Death Eater, but if Hermione were reckless like Harry or idiotic like Ron, it was quite likely that she would attempt to attack Bellatrix. As it was she didn't have the nerve; she knew that even if Bellatrix slept, it was unlikely to be such a deep sleep so as to allow Hermione to steal her wand.

No, Bellatrix was too smart for that.

All in all, Hermione couldn't exactly figure out why she was there in the first place anyway. Was it so that Bellatrix could keep an eye on her, make sure she didn't take a turn for the worse seeing as she had apparently become so fond of Hermione? No, her injuries were healed; Bellatrix had no reason to believe that anything would happen to her. Or was it that she was worried that Rodolphus would come back and attack Hermione once again? Though it was unlikely he would be so stupid as to directly disobey Bellatrix, from what Hermione had seen she was far more skilled a witch than he was a wizard.

So why?

The cogs in Hermione's head kept on turning, over and over, wondering.

When it felt like an hour had passed and Hermione was still awake, she sighed, and then shivered. She was _freezing_. It was warmer than her cell, but despite it being summer, Hermione was still cold at night without a duvet. Not to mention that she was only wearing a thin towel that didn't exactly keep her warm. As if that wasn't enough, she desperately needed to use the bathroom. She huffed aloud. Sleeping in Bellatrix's room was causing more problems than it was worth.

And then, Bellatrix's voice penetrated the darkness, sounding curious. "Why are you still awake?"

"Can't sleep," Hermione said quietly. "I'm cold and I need the bathroom. Just... just put me back downstairs and I'll be alright."

Bellatrix gave a long and drawn out sigh. "Go to the bathroom."

"What?" Hermione said, bewildered by Bellatrix's apparent permission. It sounded as though she were being told she could use the bathroom alone, but that couldn't possibly be right. Could it?

"Just go," Bellatrix told her, and she must have flicked her wand, because Hermione suddenly found that her legs were no longer bound together. "There's one through the door to the left of the window. Remember, I'm trusting you."

"O-Ok. Thanks," Hermione said, and hurriedly, she got up and did what she had been told she could, stumbling slightly as she got used to moving her legs once more in the dark. She shut the bathroom door behind her and did what she needed to do without turning the light on or trying to escape, telling herself that despite being allowed more privileges, there was still no way she would be able to run away. Bellatrix wouldn't be allowing her to do this alone if there was even the slightest chance she could and so she obeyed, and didn't do anything that would earn her another round of the Cruciatus curse.

Upon entering the bedroom again, Hermione made her way over to the patch of floor she had previously been sleeping on, grateful that at least she had been allowed to use the toilet. Maybe now she would be more comfortable and so tired that she could more easily fall asleep. With a bit of luck, hopefully the carpet where she had been lying would still have retained the small amount of body heat that she had been giving out and that would give her warmth.

"Get in," Bellatrix said, just as Hermione was about to lie down.

"Get in where?" Hermione asked. Did Bellatrix mean what she assumed she did?

Sounding impatient, Bellatrix simply responded, "To bed."

"To your bed?" Hermione checked.

"Do you see any other beds in here?" Bellatrix snapped. "Just get in before I change my mind. And don't even think about snivelling that you're cold; if the duvet doesn't keep you warm enough then I honestly don't care, but I'm tired and have no desire to traipse back down to the cellar with you at this hour."

Hermione slowly made her way over to the other side of the bed, doing as she was told. Her heart thudded fast as she realised that she would be in closer proximity to the Death Eater than she usually was, and would be lying next to Bellatrix in a most vulnerable state, even if she was armed with a wand. Climbing in, moving as little as possible, Hermione whispered, "Thank you."

Bellatrix ignored her.

"Did you hear me? I said..."

"Yes, I know what you said," Bellatrix interrupted. "I'm actually trying to sleep, you know."

"I'm sorry. I just... after I spoke to you last week and then you didn't come back, I thought you would punish me worse than ever before after what I'd said," Hermione confessed. "But you've been nice to me in your own way and... I just wanted you to know that I appreciate it. Wars aside, torture aside... when you're not acting totally bloody mental."

She forced herself to stop talking. Why had she said that? Bellatrix wasn't going to give a damn that she felt that way towards her, and any second now she was going to jump out of bed and begin torturing her again for reminding her of what they had last spoke about before she had disappeared for a week. Inwardly cursing, Hermione tensed, squeezing her eyes shut and preparing herself for the onslaught that was about to hit her, both physical and psychological.

When it still hadn't come after thirty seconds or so, Hermione cautiously opened her eyes again. She wondered whether Bellatrix had fallen asleep or was just ignoring her entirely. Either way it didn't really matter to her, and so she sighed, pulling the duvet upwards to try to fall asleep.

"I was going to torture you, I decided this morning,"

Hermione's eyes snapped open, and she turned to face Bellatrix's silhouette.

"But when I came back and Lemmy informed me that Rodolphus was downstairs with you, I was furious at him, and I decided there was no point. If I had tortured you after everything he had already done this evening, you wouldn't survive the night," Bellatrix said, voice expressionless for the most part, with only a hint of anger seeping through.

"But... why does me dying really matter?" Hermione asked finally. "You could easily replace me."

Bellatrix took a moment to consider the question. "I don't know, Granger... I suppose it's because I'm used to you," she admitted. "And you're smart and actually sort of interesting, even despite your dirty blood."

Hermione stored away the fact that Bellatrix had called her Granger as opposed to Mudblood or another offensive name for the third time. Nevertheless, she needed to focus on Bellatrix at the moment, as she was too enthralled in the conversation to truly consider why.

"It still doesn't make sense," Hermione persisted, determined to get to the bottom of what was going on inside of Bellatrix's mind. "You killed your own cousin, for Merlin's sake. And laughed immediately after you did it. Who does that? There was no remorse, nothing. You just... _cheered_."

Bellatrix turned to face her, murmuring_ Lumos_ and bringing a dim light to the room from her wand, which she now clasped in between herself and Hermione. "No. I didn't kill him," Bellatrix said, her face glowing in the light, eyes staring directly into Hermione's own.

Exasperated, Hermione sat up. She had been there when Sirius died, she had seen the fatal curse hit him straight in the chest, knocking him through the veil from which he failed to return. It had been horrible to see him fall in such a way, for Harry to be unable to bury his own godfather and say goodbye properly. "Yes you did; I saw you. I was there."

Bellatrix shook her head. "No. No, you saw my body killing Sirius, not me. Anyway, the torture is my favourite part... if I'm honest, killing is entirely overrated."

_She's lying,_ was Hermione's immediate thought, before she really considered the raven haired witch's words. There was no one Hermione could think of that Bellatrix had killed; her most infamous crime had always been the torture of the Longbottoms, although obviously she had stated she was not responsible for that. In general, Bellatrix's speciality had always been hurting people, not killing them. And it was quite possible, Hermione surmised, that she was telling the truth. She took pleasure in causing people pain, but death would only have ended that pain, so why would she bother? Maybe Bellatrix had always left that part up to other people. In which case... Hermione was not faced with an evil killer. Just an evil torturer, which was only marginally better.

"What are you trying to say?" Hermione frowned, working out the logistics of Bellatrix's declaration. "That you were under the Imperius Curse?"

"No."

"Then what?" Hermione exclaimed. "You're not making any sense, and if you want me to believe you then you're going to have to explain."

Bellatrix retorted, "I don't care whether you believe me or not."

Adapting her tone of voice, wanting to hear the rest of what the Death Eater had to say, Hermione forced herself to speak more softly. It was easier than she'd imagined, especially considering Bellatrix's kind treatment of her that evening. "I understand. Please, will you just explain?"

Endless seconds bled into one another, until eventually, Bellatrix spoke. "The day of the prophecy retrieval at the Department of Mysteries the Dark Lord wished to be present throughout. He did not, however, wish to reveal himself at first, preferring to take a backseat. He believed that by observing Potter he could learn more of his methods, understand how he fought. All his previous encounters with Potter had not exactly allowed him to learn how he fights, how he truly thought, and so before he faced Potter in person, he wished to know how best to deal with him. He wanted to do so without any of the Order knowing he was there, and so he took the decision to attend, quite literally, in someone else's skin," Bellatrix explained. "Especially after all the mistakes that have been made."

Hermione stayed quiet, waiting for Bellatrix to carry on with her story.

"The Dark Lord took the decision that to do this, he should possess another. In other words, he possessed me. He already knew my mannerisms, how to act and talk like me. Why should anyone suspect? The inner circle knew, of course, and so they were aware that no matter what, I had to get out of the Ministry alive. It would have caused too much trouble if I had been captured, and that's part of the reason that the others distracted The Order so much whilst my Lord left the battle to confront Potter alone." Bellatrix continued.

"Did you know what was happening in the battle?" Hermione asked, curious.

"I was entirely unaware of all the events that had occurred until later on," Bellatrix said. "Possession does not work the same way as the Imperius curse; it is a dark powerful magic that few can achieve."

Before she allowed Bellatrix to continue, Hermione interjected, "But... but I don't understand. When Harry was possessed by... him... he was in agonising pain, but he remembered what was happening. Is that because of his connection with... with your Lord, or are all possessions like that? How could you let him do that for so long in so much pain?"

Bellatrix shook her head. "I wasn't in pain; it was just a blank. I know nothing of what happened other than the memories I have been shown from Rodolphus and Lucius, and as for Potter and the Dark Lord's connection, well I have no idea. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell _you_,_" _Bellatrix sniped. "The moment the Dark Lord left my body was when your dear Potter threw his feeble Cruciatus Curse my way, and I tripped, unaware of where I was and why The Dark Lord had suddenly made the decision to reveal himself."

"It was because he wanted to kill Harry in his own body, when Harry was alone and defenceless as far as he was concerned. Until Dumbledore turned up," Hermione said, making sure she kept all anger at bay. She wanted to see if there was anything useful she could learn from Bellatrix.

"I know that now," Bellatrix said, sharply. "But the point is that I didn't kill Potter's _darling_ godfather."

Hermione was almost ready to believe her; she just had one other question. "What about when you ran through The Burrow shouting that you had?"

"I was provoking Potter for The Dark Lord," Bellatrix said plainly. "Trying to draw him out of safety as I had been ordered to do."

It seemed like such an easy explanation to Hermione, and it did make sense, but she was still in two minds as to whether she should believe Bellatrix or not. This woman was a Death Eater, said to be Voldemort's most faithful servant. She was capable of torture, which Hermione had experienced for herself, and so Hermione had always assumed her to be capable of murder. Now that she had evidence to the contrary though... well why would Bellatrix lie? She had not changed sides and she was not begging for forgiveness. It wasn't even a proper confession; it was just one person admitting the truth to another. An admission yes, but not an admission of guilt by any means. Nevertheless, it did beg the question; why was she making such confessions to Hermione of all people? _The Mudblood. The filth. The Scum of the Earth._

"Why... why are you telling me this?"

Bellatrix paused, seemingly thinking to herself. Eventually, she answered, sounding confused, "I don't know. I don't know... who I am around you anymore. I don't know why."

"I'm getting to you," Hermione stated, realising with certainty that this wasn't a game anymore. Bellatrix's voice was just that little bit too raw, her kindness to Hermione just that little bit too much. Hermione could sense the changes happening, though she couldn't say how or why Bellatrix was not as vicious as before. She was no Legilimens, unfortunately, and psychology only got you so far.

"Yes," Bellatrix said, not even bothering to deny it. She breathed deeply. "If... if the Dark Lord becomes aware of it, he will kill you. Or tell me to kill you, which I will be forced to do."

"But you just said killing is overrated," Hermione told her, and as she said it, she realised that she truly believed it. The knowledge that she now possessed that Bellatrix had not killed Sirius had made her see the older witch in an entirely different light. For whatever reason there was something about Hermione that perplexed Bellatrix to the extent that she couldn't treat her with only cruelty, but felt the need to engage her in conversation and be nice on occasion.

"I am a torturer and a Death Eater, so if it is necessary, then I would kill you easily," Bellatrix maintained, before adding proudly, "I even volunteered to kill Potter!"

"There is a big difference between causing someone pain and ending their life," Hermione spoke carefully, not allowing herself to worry about Harry at the moment, or Bellatrix's declaration. It was important to remember what she _had _done, not what she had threatened to do. "Killing damages the soul."

Bellatrix shrugged, her shadow moving with her in the darkness. "I beg to differ."

"Bellatrix," Hermione said, speaking urgently now. She shifted over in the bed, drawing closer to Bellatrix than she had ever dared to before. She could feel the heat radiating from her skin, pulling her in. "Please, just listen. I... I can help you. The Order can help you. I'll tell them what you've told me, and you won't have to live like this anymore."

"I love this. The war... the fighting. It makes me feel _alive_!" Bellatrix said passionately. "What exactly gives you the impression that I don't want to live like this?"

"Gut instinct," Hermione whispered. "There is so much that can make you feel alive that doesn't derive from pain and suffering. And if you truly hated Mudbloods then you wouldn't be able to stand being near me, let alone allowing me to sleep in your bed." Shakily, she reached over to Bellatrix, and not wanting to appear threatening to the other woman by touching her hands which clasped her wand in front of her, instead opted for touching her face. "Would you?"

Eyes widening at Hermione's touch, Bellatrix noticeably stiffened. "This is wrong," she said, so quietly that Hermione barely heard her. "My parents... my Lord. If they knew..." she stopped talking, unable to finish the sentence.

"No, what you're doing for Him is _wrong_. The way you're feeling now is just proof that you're human," Hermione said, conviction pouring from her voice.

Throughout, she kept her hand against Bellatrix's cheek, attempting to ignore the overwhelming urge inside her to kiss the other woman. She had tried to discount her thoughts, putting them to the back of her mind which was something that was far easier when Bellatrix was treating her badly. Here though, when Bellatrix appeared so vulnerable and now that Hermione had realised that it was Voldemort's brainwashing and as she had just hinted at, her upbringing that had caused her to think this way, she saw things differently. It was getting harder to resist doing what she felt like doing with Bellatrix, for more reasons than merely bringing out the good in her.

"Changing allegiance now would mean death for me," Bellatrix said, a soft bitterness in her voice. "I would be second on the Dark Lord's hit list, directly after Harry Potter. And you would be third, as the person responsible for converting me."

"I know it's a risk," Hermione acknowledged. "But you need to be brave. _Please_."

"I am not a Gryffindor," Bellatrix asserted.

"I'm not saying that you are," Hermione said, shifting closer still. "But I believe that you can do this."

"I still hate Mudbloods," Bellatrix said, louder now, determined.

"Do you hate me?" Hermione said, and to her credit, her voice only quivered slightly. For the most part she had been able to keep her emotions under control and remain strong; something that she believed to be essential to making Bellatrix come around to her way of thinking.

"No."

Bellatrix's immediate reply and resolute tone sent a rush through Hermione's veins_. She doesn't hate me. _Had Bellatrix told her otherwise in this moment of honesty, she wasn't sure she would have been able to continue being so strong, but her admittance had given Hermione the courage she needed to act, and fast. This couldn't wait until morning, or until the clear light of day, because by then Bellatrix would most probably have seized up again and all of Hermione's hard work would have been undone. Besides, she wasn't sure that she was even capable of forcing herself to wait so long, not when the intense feeling was overwhelming her beyond everything else at this very moment in time.

Slowly so as not to startle Bellatrix, Hermione moved towards her. She placed a gentle kiss against the older witch's mouth, not overdoing it by forcing contact, and leaving Bellatrix with the option to pull away easily if she wanted. When she met no resistance, Hermione sucked on her bottom lip, making every effort not to moan aloud and to focus on Bellatrix's feelings. Although she had yet to respond, Hermione persevered, sure that it was just taking time for her to react and to snap herself out of the shock.

She was right. Seconds later and Bellatrix had let go of her wand, throwing herself on top of Hermione, dominating the kiss. Her need for control had made itself apparent, but Hermione didn't care, she only wanted Bellatrix to reciprocate. Wrapping her legs around Bellatrix, she pushed herself upwards, forcing more contact between their bodies, and grasping the curls on Bellatrix's head in her fists. Her heart was beating fast, not through fear, but through excitement and longing, something that she had never experienced in this way before. There was almost an electrical charge running through them both, connecting Hermione to Bellatrix. It was a bond that could never be broken to the extent where it felt as though they may even been slightly raised from the bed, kissing in the air.

Somehow it was an intense sensation, more than just a kiss. Hermione couldn't explain it, she didn't know how to, but she knew that this wasn't just lust, or even love. There was the feeling of her body melting into Bellatrix's, almost as though they were becoming one, and Hermione wondered if Bellatrix too was experiencing this. She was certain that there was something inexplicable going on as though she were under the influence of a love potion like Amortentia, but she knew this couldn't be true. Not considering the circumstances of the kiss, or the delay, or the fact that she hadn't drank since dinner. Besides, who would have drugged both of them? All she knew was that whatever this was, it was real, intense and overpowering. It didn't matter that Bellatrix was a Death Eater, or a horrible person.

Nothing mattered except the kiss, and Hermione never wanted it to stop.


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks my darlings. :) I'm replying to as many reviews as possible (as has been mentioned by **ICouldBeSuper**) due to the fact I feel it's important to show you I appreciate your thoughts. I may have to start PM'ing people though and just answering general questions in reviews at the start of each chapter because I'm conscious of going on too much, haha. What are people's thoughts on this? **Do you mind the lengthy replies to reviews at the top or would you rather I messaged privately?**

**Eryk Lestrange**- I am happy to hear constructive criticism, and I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I feel that your review was a little rude and unnecessary. It was not "an accident" that Bellatrix killed Sirius- he was deliberately murdered by Voldemort possessing her, but physically it was Bellatrix's body that murdered him. By no means is Bellatrix "completely innocent". She has tortured people, has she not? She has commended Voldemort for his despicable crimes & taken pleasure in them. Re point 3, when someone is in denial regarding their feelings or something they have done, they can vehemently deny something; it isn't necessarily the case that they will stutter. Trust me on that front, I work within the field of law. Look, I have obviously chosen to portray Bellatrix in a sympathetic light within this fic. I understand and appreciate that you dislike that, really I do. But as I've said before, maybe you should see if there are other fics out there that meet your criteria, or perhaps write your own? It is impossible for me to please everyone.

**OpheliaBlack****- **Thank you. I read over/tweaked this numerous times so I'm happy to hear that there wasn't a single plot hole... I'm a perfectionist when it comes to writing and I've done my best to make sure this fits into the book version of Deathly Hallows.

**Kriszti7**-I'll be honest, I did debate for ages as to how to make it believable, so I'm really glad that you think it is. I don't want to ruin the plot by giving away what happens, but I will say this; the fic stays true to the book/movie (depending on what I think works best for each particular part) but I create my own explanation for canon events if I wish they hadn't happened. In other words, it isn't necessarily the case that Bellatrix will die, but I won't say either way. :P

**Anti-Gravity111****- **I really hope you're still alive, because I love your reviews. :P Thank you so much for the praise, I'm in slight shock that my writing would have such an impact on someone. :)

**Kyraaah1992****-** Thank you. Glad you enjoy it so much! I think much of this story is about the psychological impact on Hermione and later on, Bellatrix, so I'm pleased you think so highly of me. :)

**Thinuil- **You're right, this isn't going to be easy. At the same time, I will say that progress will be made, though it is a slow process. Thank you for the review, much appreciated!

**ICouldBeSuper**- Thank you. I strongly believe that Bellatrix's character is capable of being human, it's just that her obsession with Voldemort and background (amongst other things) have caused her to make the wrong choices in life. You'll find out all the answers to those questions by the end of the fic, but your first two questions will be answered in this chapter. :P

**Cobrastryke****- **I've never been called a genius before... thanks! :P Great minds think alike though as Stockholm syndrome is actually mentioned slightly later in the fic, hehe.

**ladygoddess8**- Definately. Bottling up the way you feel has an impact on anyone, and I hope I've shown through the memories that with Bellatrix's upbringing it was inevitable that she was going to be affected somehow. You won't see whole chapters from Bellatrix's point of view, but there are some moments later on in the fic where Bellatrix's memories are more recent, and her feelings regarding Hermione are mentioned. Thanks!

**Zaskina**- Thanks very much, and thanks to **Whurmy **for the recommendation! I'm glad you like it even though Bellatrix/Hermione is not your favourite pairing.

**Questionforyou2**- There will be 30 chapters in all. See my answer to ladygoddess8 above for the answer to 3. :)

**deedeex912**- Wow, that is some lovely praise! I'm pleased you think I have a true talent... it's something I love and work very hard at. I will indeed keep aspiring, I just need some luck, an idea of my own that I really take to (I've started books before and quit because none have ever felt quite right) and an agent who gives me a chance. :)

**Reader-** I think I just sort of took it as granted that it was obvious she was relieved... but she was so focused on talking to Bellatrix she didn't really actively think about it. Sorry if you thought it was important I mention that, for clarification's sake, yes, she was grateful not to be cold. :)

**xt828-** Thank you for such a lovely, detailed review. As I've said before, I've really worked on Bellatrix's characterisation. As far as Hermione's characterisation goes, you've got it exactly right with what I've been aiming for. I think as a Gryffindor she has the survivor mentality which allows her to think clearly, but at times her emotions overcome her, because at the end of the day she is only human. Bellatrix will have interaction with her sisters, both in the past memories and present, but that will mainly be in later chapters. I don't think the Lestrange brothers carrying out rape actually is established, mainly because of HP being a book for children and young adults too, but I think it probably crops up a lot because it's an entirely feasible concept? I don't know... I've not read it before but then again I haven't looked for fics specifically about the Lestrange brothers. This fic will continue from a single perspective, so I'm glad you like that. The other HP characters will be involved, but at the moment it just hasn't made sense to include them. But... well read this part and discover more on that front. Once again, thank you. :)

* * *

_Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow_

_And that your saints and sinners bleed_

_We weren't born to follow_

_You gotta stand up for what you believe_

_Bon Jovi, We Weren't Born to Follow_

* * *

_**11.**_

_**March 1969**_

_Whenever Bellatrix thought of her impending marriage to Rodolphus Lestrange, she felt like vomiting. The thought alone of allowing him to touch her was enough to make her want to scream until her throat was raw, or to jump into the shower and __scald away all the horrific thoughts. Ordinarily she would have gone out, bought a bottle of Firewhiskey and downed it straight, late at night in the privacy of her own room, or used her enchanted razor for more than just shaving her legs. Neither were particularly healthy choices, but other than the very first night she had found out she was to be wed Rodolphus, Bellatrix had not allowed herself to cry. Crying was a sign of__ weakness, after all._

_Now though, at the Engagement Party held at her parent's home, her options for escape were severely limited. Tears, alcohol and razors were all big no-no's, because the first would smudge her impeccable makeup, the second would render her incapable of intelligent speech, and the razor would mean risking blood on her dress. And so, claiming to need to use the bathroom, she had slipped away from the celebrations downstairs, and hidden herself in her own room for a few moments' peace._

_Apparently though that was going to be impossible, judging by the fact that her younger altogether different cousin, Sirius Black, had just taken it upon himself to barge into her room. He always had irritated her, though at times she did struggle to stop herself from laughing as he wound up her Aunt Walburga to the point where her eyes bulged out of her head and she turned a violent shade of purple. Nevertheless, there was no way Bellatrix could admit this in front of her parents or aunt and uncle, for they would most likely punish her, stating that she was old enough to know better. _

"_Why are you up here?" he asked inquisitively._

"_None of your business," Bellatrix snapped, not having to put on false pretences now that she was away from the watchful eye of her parents and the Lestranges. "Fuck off."_

_Sirius made a face. "That's not very nice."_

"_Well you shouldn't barge into other people's bedrooms then," Bellatrix retorted, knowing that she sounded petulant but unable to stop herself all the same. Maybe picking on her younger cousin would make her feel better, if only for a few minutes._

"_Sorry," Sirius said, though he didn't sound apologetic at all. _

_Bellatrix stared at him pointedly, waiting for him to leave. She wanted this to be alone time, and he was seriously eating away into the few minutes she had left. Sirius however failed to get the message, and merely grinned at her, the dimples in his cheeks making him look younger than his ten years. His grey eyes sparked out at her, daring her to smile at him or to even to engage him in conversation. She didn't need to be a Legilimens to realise he was bored out of his mind by the adults and was looking for some entertainment._

_Rolling her eyes, Bellatrix huffed at him half-heartedly. "Can you leave now?"_

"_Nope!" Sirius said, and he bounced onto Bellatrix's bed. "What's wrong with you?"_

"_Who says there's something wrong?" Bellatrix said defensively. _

_Sirius shrugged. "You seem cranky for someone who's supposed to be excited about getting married."_

"_It's not exciting," Bellatrix said, the words slipping out of her mouth before she could stop herself. By the time she had realised what she had confessed it was too late, and Sirius was frowning at her. She braced herself for the onslaught of abuse that was sure to come from a fellow Black, even at his young age. He would tell her that she was lucky to be getting married to such a respectable pure-blood, that she should be honoured. He would say that she was being selfish, difficult and..._

"_If you don't love Rodolphus, then why are you marrying him?" Sirius interrupted her thoughts, frowning._

_... or not._

_So surprised was Bellatrix at the question, that she forgot to be rude when answering. "Because he is the right sort of pure-blooded man that my parents want me to marry, and I need to uphold the family name."_

_Sirius frowned, confused. "But that's stupid. Why can't you just marry who you want?"_

"_Because I... we, are Blacks," Bellatrix told him. "One day, this is going to happen to you too, you know." Apparently, her aunt and uncle hadn't yet deigned to tell Sirius of his future. Well, there was no point him having false hope for any longer; he needed to realise exactly what he would be facing in just several short years' time._

"_No it won't," Sirius denied, eyes flashing defiantly. "I'll run away before it ever happens to me. If I get married it's gonna be because I love someone, not because of their blood or whatever."_

_Bellatrix gave a wry laugh. "Do you really think it's going to be that easy? Wake up, Sirius."_

"_I already have. I know what it is to be a Black, and I don't care. I like being different," he said proudly. "When I go to Hogwarts next year I'm gonna be friends with who I want. Don't even care if I'm not in Slytherin... so long as I'm not in Hufflepuff!" _

_Bellatrix shook her head, unable to believe what she was hearing. Well, on his head be it. "You're making a huge mistake. We Blacks are pure, better than everyone else! You don't know what you're letting yourself in for."_

"_I do," Sirius disagreed. "You'll understand one day, Bella. Maybe not now, but when you're thirty or something. When Rodolphus is older and fatter." He grinned. "Haha. Gross!"_

_Despite the completely, one hundred percent not funny situation, despite her irritation with her younger cousin and her disapproval of his beliefs, Bellatrix found herself grinning back. She understood better than Sirius realised, but he had yet to learn that she had long ago forced herself to forget that understanding and simply do as she was told. Sirius might go against the family and live life the way he wanted to, and if he did, then that was his prerogative. He'd have Andromeda for support anyway, because the chance of her ever returning home was close to zero. Bellatrix, on the other hand, doubted that she would ever be that sort of person. _

_Never._

_Never ever._

* * *

Upon waking the next morning, it took a few minutes for Hermione to gather her thoughts and remember where she was. Waking up in an unfamiliar location, no matter how comfortable was extremely disconcerting in itself, but to discover that she was lying in the arms of Bellatrix Lestrange was enough to make her freeze momentarily, even despite the innocent, relaxed expression on the older witch's face. Once she had ran through the events of the previous evening in her head, she calmed slightly, understanding how she had come to be in such a position. Whilst she considered her thoughts, Bellatrix slept on, unaware for the moment that Hermione was now wide awake.

In all honesty, she was worried about how Bellatrix would react towards her in the cold light of day, as there was no guarantee that she wouldn't curse Hermione the moment that she woke up. Searching around with her eyes, Hermione tried to locate Bellatrix's wand, hoping that she could get hold of it to prevent such a thing happening. Spotting it behind Bellatrix's back, she carefully untangled her arm from underneath Bellatrix's, and grasped the wand in her hand. It was a miracle she even managed to do it without waking Bellatrix up, and slowly, she leant over, pushing the wand below her own pillow. She didn't want Bellatrix to rouse from her sleep and become startled at her holding it, thinking that Hermione was going to attack.

It felt a little crazy to let go of the wand after not having one for so long, but after last night there was no way that Hermione was going to attempt to escape, even with possession of a wand. She was still going to try to bring Bellatrix around to her way of thinking with just a little more hard work. If Bellatrix could see that Hermione could take possession of her wand and then let it go again without trying to betray her, then she might give Hermione some leeway and not shut her up in the cell all day, which with a bit of luck would give her a chance to speak to Bellatrix further.

After watching Bellatrix peacefully sleep for a few more moments, Hermione made the decision to wake her. Gently, she traced a thumb over Bellatrix's soft lips, and shook her arm ever so slightly with her other hand. "Bella," she whispered, the nickname easily falling off her lips, though it felt a little strange. "Wake up."

Bellatrix began to stir, and although Hermione continued to lie on her body, she moved away slightly so as to allow her room to manoeuvre once she had fully woken. Blinking heavily, Bellatrix rubbed her eyes, and the second that she saw Hermione she jumped back, now fully awake. Eyes darting around, Hermione knew that Bellatrix was searching for her wand with which to either threaten Hermione or defend herself if she was under the impression that Hermione was going to attack her.

"Wait," Hermione begged, trying to calm Bellatrix down before things got out of hand. "Just stay calm, Bellatrix!"

An expression of fury on her face, Bellatrix raised her hand to hit Hermione. Dodging the blow, Hermione grasped Bellatrix's arms in an attempt to stop her. Struggling, Bellatrix managed to flip herself on top of Hermione, for she was far stronger and no match for Hermione in her weakened state. "Where is my wand?" she hissed.

"I... I'll tell you when you calm down," Hermione gasped, struggling to breathe with Bellatrix digging a knee into her stomach. "Please, stop." She prayed that Bellatrix didn't try to summon her wand before she'd been able to make Bellatrix see that she wasn't a threat. _Please, don't do this._

Bellatrix hit her. "You don't tell me what to do! You have no right you pathetic little Mud..."

"Bellatrix!" Hermione interjected, before the older witch could finish her sentence, ignoring the throbbing pain in her cheek. "Just... just listen to me. I could have... have threatened you with your wand or tried to escape, but I didn't. I _couldn't._ Please, just remember what happened last night and _calm down_."

Breathing heavily, Bellatrix looked Hermione up and down, seeming to consider her words. Her expression changed from fury to confusion, and her eyes locked with Hermione's. At once, Hermione knew it was because she remembered, and her belief was confirmed as Bellatrix sneered, "Do you honestly think that one moment of weakness on my part is going to change everything?"

"No," Hermione stammered. "But something inexplicable happened last night, it wasn't just a kiss. Think about it... have you ever experienced a feeling like that before?"

"No, because I've never kissed a Mudblood before," Bellatrix spat cruelly.

Ignoring the stab of pain in her chest as Bellatrix's words hit her full force, Hermione persevered. She hadn't come this far just to give up at the first hurdle; she was determined to make Bellatrix understand that there was something real (albeit unidentified) between them. It was the craziest thing in the world, to think that she had feelings for a Death Eater, but for all she had learnt about Bellatrix, she suddenly didn't seem as bad. The crimes which she had so badly hated her for hadn't been committed by Bellatrix in the way she imagined, and regarding the countless other crimes which she no doubt did commit, Hermione chose to ignore for the moment, not thinking about the fact Bellatrix felt no remorse.

"Forget about blood," Hermione told her, shifting upwards and firmly pushing Bellatrix's knee away from her now that the older witch had calmed down. "You're a pure-blood, I understand. But you don't hate me; you said so yourself."

Eyes widening, Bellatrix exclaimed in a frustrated voice, "That doesn't make _this_ acceptable!"

Hermione shook her head. "You don't get it, Bella. The blood inside us is irrelevant; it is how we feel that matters. I might be crazy and insane for it, but I care about you. Doesn't that mean something? How can you want to hurt me when I feel this way about you?"

"I have been taught to hurt people like you for as long as I can remember," Bellatrix said, and Hermione noted that her voice was trembling. "It doesn't matter how_ beautiful _you are, or how _lovely_ and _special _and _kind_, you aren't a pure-blood, or even a half-blood. In my Lord's eyes, you are scum."

"But not yours," Hermione whispered. "Not anymore, it's written all over your face that you don't feel that way." Bellatrix no longer held the same amount of hatred in the swirls of colours, for now all Hermione could see was confusion, as though Bellatrix wasn't quite aware of what was happening to her.

The raven haired witch let out a sigh of frustration. "I have to ignore the way I feel! Have to! Or do you want us both to die? Because that is what will happen when my Lord finds out!"

_He doesn't have to find out,_ Hermione thought silently. Bellatrix could keep this a secret; she was accomplished at Occlumency, more than likely to the extent of being able to prevent Voldemort from seeing what she didn't wish him to see if he wasn't looking. Which he wouldn't be, because he trusted Bellatrix implicitly. If Bellatrix really wanted to, she could change sides or turn double agent for the Order. But that was the main issue here, Hermione reminded herself. She didn't _want_ to. Other than her mystifying feelings for Hermione, she was still the same Bellatrix. Above all else she loved her Lord, and Hermione couldn't compete with that, no matter how hard she tried.

"Then you have to make a choice," Hermione said, thinking aloud. "I know that you will never choose me over him so the way I see it, you have three options. You can keep me locked up, let me go, or kill me." She pushed Bellatrix off her, reached under her pillow, and threw Bellatrix's wand back to her. "Whatever you decide, I'm not going to fight you."

Bellatrix stared, a look of utter desperation in her brown eyes as she internally battled with herself. Hermione didn't know exactly what was going through her head, but she would bet that it was tearing her apart in the same way that her own thoughts were eating away at her. She knew now that Bellatrix would never willingly go with her to the Order; not like this. Until something happened to make her realise what she could have if she gave up her service to Voldemort, she would not change her ways. Not for Hermione, anyhow, which was all that really mattered because all she had at the moment to convince Bellatrix was herself, and that evidently wasn't enough.

"You're a distraction," Bellatrix accused. "And I can't serve my Lord with you around."

"Well that means that locking me up isn't an option," Hermione said, helping Bellatrix to make her decision no matter what it meant for her. She was too sodding tired to keep fighting her. "So you have two choices left."

Bellatrix rose her wand, her hand not quite steady. "I should kill you. Quickly and painlessly."

Hermione watched, waiting. She didn't say anything to change Bellatrix's mind, what would be the point? This had to be a decision that she reached on her own. Either way, Hermione won. She would welcome death as opposed to this life that she was living, and if Bellatrix let her go then she would once more be able to focus on defeating Voldemort. Whatever happened, it was better than being kept here, alone with only her thoughts for company whenever Bellatrix wasn't hurting her.

"You aren't going to try to persuade me otherwise?" Bellatrix asked with a frown after she was only met with Hermione's silence rather than protests.

Hermione shook her head softly. "Do what you want."

Bellatrix laughed, though it was filled with desperation and utter despair. There was no insanity, no humour behind it, just anguish and misery. "I don't _want _to do this. I don't even know if I can do this." She watched Hermione, her eyes fluttering shut. "Why does it have to be _me_ who feels this way for _you_?"

"I don't know," Hermione said honestly. "But whatever you decide, I accept it. I don't hate you, and I forgive you." She gave Bellatrix a small smile.

Bellatrix opened her mouth to speak, when she looked down at her arm. The Dark Mark on her left forearm was jet black. "I... I have to go," she said. "Right now."

"I'll wait here for you until you decide," Hermione said.

"No," Bellatrix said, quieter now. "Just... take the chance whilst you can." She murmured under her breath, and suddenly, Hermione's wand came soaring from inside the drawer of the dressing table, into Bellatrix's hand. Carefully, she placed the wand before her, not actively handing it to Hermione, but not preventing her from taking it either.

"What do you mean?" Hermione gasped, grabbing her wand immediately, though not attempting to use it. Using her free hand, she grasped Bellatrix's hand, stopping her from leaving. Was Bellatrix implying that she should escape whilst she was gone? So that Bellatrix didn't have to kill her, but she also didn't have to let her go? _Could it be?_

"It means what you think it does," Bellatrix hissed. "Do what you must, Hermione."

It was the first time that Bellatrix had used her first name, and that above all else shocked Hermione enough to make her let go of Bellatrix. She watched her Disapparate, feeling a pang in her chest as she realised that it may be the last time that she ever saw her. And then, the moment the room was empty, she sprang into action. Rummaging in Bellatrix's wardrobe, she found a fairly simple black dress to wear. Although it was too big she threw it on, and not bothering to find a pair of shoes or boots, knowing there wasn't time, she ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs, hoping that she didn't come across any visitors, or even Lemmy who wouldn't know what was getting on.

How was she going to leave? She couldn't Apparate; she was worried about splinching herself in her weakened state, (not to mention the fact that she hadn't done magic in a long time) and Portkeys and the Floo Network were out of the question. Was the Knight Bus still active? She had no idea. And then she spotted it, resting against the wall in the corner. A broom. She hated flying, but it was her only option at the moment, and so grasping it, she ran to the front door, surprised to find that it opened easily. Had Bellatrix unlocked it with a non-verbal spell before she left? Not hanging around to ponder this, Hermione wrenched it fully open, slamming it behind her as she ran down the steps and mounted the broom.

Kicking off, she sped through the sky, trying to see what she recognised and where she was. After five minutes or so she had an inkling that she was in Wiltshire; somewhere she had visited with her parents as a child, and so using the Four-Point Spell, Hermione used her wand as a compass. When Hermione was able to tell which way was north, she used her best sense of direction to fly towards Devon, where she knew The Burrow to be located. There was no guarantee that Ron and Harry would be there, but it was worth a try, wasn't it? Then she could spend a few days recovering, join the search for the Horcruxes, and hopefully defeat Voldemort once and for all.

Winning the war had to be her primary focus now. Forgetting about Bellatrix would be hard, but it was more than likely that she would never see the raven haired woman again unless in battle. It was best to try and forget about whatever strange connection existed between them, and to ignore the ache that had started to form in the depths of her stomach. It seemed, however, that despite her rationalisation, the mere thought of Bellatrix was enough to distract her entirely, and the pain inside felt like an inconsolable kind, threatening to drown her. Knowing this wasn't the time to become emotional, she tried to focus on the fact that her life had been saved. Bellatrix Lestrange, the proudest pure-blood that she had ever known had deigned to save the life of her; a Mudblood. When she explained what had happened to Harry and Ron (and she wasn't sure exactly what to tell them yet) she was uncertain if they'd even believe her.

On and on she flew, sometimes losing herself, and unaware of how long she had been flying for. She still had no concept of time, but with the sun high in the sky it was likely to be no later than afternoon. Hopefully with a bit of luck she would arrive before nightfall, and would be safely tucked up in bed with little to worry about, if only for one night.

She was aware of the fact that she was close to The Burrow before she saw it, simply from recognising landmarks and roads below her. A surge in her chest gave her the courage to speed up, and leaning forward, she raced closer to her destination, praying that she would be able to break through the protection considering that she had already been there and posed no threat. There was a chance that tighter security had been provided since her abduction, but then they must have realised that she had wandered outside of the boundaries and that their home had not been infiltrated, as no one else had been taken or attacked. She hoped it would be possible for her to bypass the wards.

Moments later and that particular fear disappeared, for The Burrow was beneath her, and Hermione would therefore be able to enter. She was so grateful to see it purely because she had never imagined that she would have found it alone without the aid of others. Flying lower, she sped towards it, faster and faster, until she landed with a bump on the ground below, tumbling off Bellatrix's broom and leaving it on the grass for the moment. Wincing at the hard contact with the floor, she quickly pulled herself up, running in pain towards the backdoor, banging on it.

"Ron! Ginny! Mrs Weasley!" She shrieked random names, hoping that someone would hear and permit her entry.

"Who's there?" came a sharp voice. Mrs Weasley's, maybe?

"It's Hermione!" she called out.

"Hermione?" The voice said suspiciously. "What are...? Wait. What creature were you attacked by on Halloween during your first year of Hogwarts, and who were you rescued by?"

"It was a troll, and Harry and Ron rescued me," Hermione answered immediately, understanding why Mrs Weasley wanted to check her identity. It had been a simple answer, for how could she ever forget the reason for her friendship with her two best friends? Evidently this was a momentous event within Ron's life if he had seen fit to inform his mother of this. Feeling a pang of affection for him in her heart, Hermione smiled through the tears that had now started to fall from her face.

Straight away, the door opened, and Mrs Weasley pulled Hermione into her arms. "Oh my dear, we've been so worried! Where have you been? Are you ok? Oh Hermione!"

Suddenly, Hermione felt as though she could no longer stand. Slumping on her legs, she allowed Mrs Weasley to guide her into the lounge where she collapsed onto the sofa, all her energy focused on just remaining alert. "Are the boys here?" she asked weakly.

"Yes, yes, they're upstairs at the moment. HARRY! RON!" she bellowed at the top of her voice, beckoning them down. She glanced back towards Hermione. "You're so thin, dear, you look as though you haven't eaten in weeks. And what on earth are you wearing? Let me go and..."

"I'll eat soon," Hermione interrupted. "Please, I need to talk to the others first. Please, Mrs Weasley..."

Mrs Weasley opened her mouth to argue with Hermione, but seconds later and Harry and Ron burst into the room, Ginny following them. All three had their wands drawn and were looking frantically around, concerned by Mrs Weasley's outburst. "Mum? What's going on?" Ron asked, before he set eyes on Hermione. With a cry he launched himself at her, Harry and Ginny following. For what seemed like forever they hugged her, clutching onto her so tightly that eventually she began to feel claustrophobic, and she batted them away, needing some space. _I need to feel free again._

"I'm ok," she said through the tears, partially reassuring herself. "I'm ok."

"Where have you been?" Ron asked, aghast. "We thought... we thought..." he swallowed, seeming unable to continue.

"We thought you were dead," Harry finished for him, and he too sounded choked with emotion. "We've been trying to find you... half the Order has been looking day and night but we couldn't get a single lead other than that you had been taken by Death Eaters. What happened to you? And what on earth are you wearing?"

Hermione took a deep breath, and gratefully received the Firewhiskey that Mrs Weasley handed her. Taking an enormous gulp, she felt as though she could now talk, and pushing her hair back from her face, she began. "Bellatrix Lestrange's dress. But before you comment... I need you to let me finish the whole story, ok?" she said, hoping that Ron especially would take note of her request. "And if there's anyone else here who is going to walk in halfway through, maybe they could come now? I don't fancy telling this story all over again."

"There's no one else here," Mrs Weasley said kindly, taking a seat next to Ginny on the other sofa. "Arthur is with some of the Order and Bill, Charlie, Fleur, Fred and George are all at Shell Cottage sorting out a few final touches. No one else from the Order is here, so you can tell us and we'll relay whatever you want us to say to the others for you, dear."

Hermione nodded. "Right, ok. Well... I suppose I might as well just come out and say it. I was taken by Bellatrix Lestrange. I was an idiot and ventured outside of The Burrow's protection... and she found me."

Everyone remained silent as Hermione had asked them to, but Ron sharply intake a deep breath. Ignoring this, Hermione continued. "It was only her, nobody else. She locked me in what was like a prison cell in the basement, and tortured me every now and then. I was fed once a day and given as much water as I liked, which she deemed to be fair treatment. Sometimes, she would come and talk to me. Most days actually."

"What did she talk to you about?" Harry interjected, despite Hermione saying she didn't want any interruptions.

Deciding to let it slide, Hermione answered him. "Lots. Most of it. She told me that Charity Burbage, the Muggle Studies Professor at Hogwarts hasn't resigned; she's been murdered by You-Know-Who."

This news was met with gasps of horror. Hermione couldn't blame her audience for this, she most likely would have reacted the same way.

"As time went on, she started revealing more to me and... well she wasn't really torturing me as much. It was almost like I was there to listen, to talk to her. Sometimes, I tried to persuade her that what she was doing was wrong, and that she could join the Order if she proved herself. She got angry whenever I did that, but I still tried, thinking that maybe the message would sink in."

"Blimey, Hermione," Ron said shocked. "You tried to convince the most faithful Death Eater there is that she should join us. Are you mad?"

"No, Ronald, I'm not," Hermione said curtly. "And if you let me finish then you might understand why."

"Sorry," he mumbled, flushing red.

Continuing, Hermione said, "She told me that she wasn't there when the Longbottom's were tortured into insanity; she took the credit because she didn't want to deny her Lord, and that she felt defeated. She said she's never specifically come out and said that she did it."

Now it was Harry's turn to interrupt. "And you believe her?"

"I know it sounds crazy, but yes. And... Harry, there's more. She says that she didn't kill Sirius...well, not exactly..." she held up a hand to stop him interrupt. "Voldemort used her body to spy on you, he possessed her. So the entire time we were at the Ministry other than when Voldemort appeared, he was inside of her body." She proceeded to explain thoroughly what Bellatrix had revealed to her, to the amazed faces around her.

There was a moment of silence whilst Harry took the news in, before he said, aghast, "Voldemort killed Sirius?"

"How do you know she isn't lying, Hermione?" Ginny asked cautiously.

"Why would she lie?" Hermione replied. "She has no reason to."

"Hermione has a point," Mrs Weasley agreed. "I know Bellatrix Black... or rather Lestrange. She's manipulative and cruel, but she wouldn't lie unless she had anything to gain. Remember, she is proud of who she is."

"I'm not sure that she is," Hermione said tentatively. "There were moments when she was almost human. And..." she finished, trying to think of how to phrase what she wanted to without revealing that she and Bellatrix had shared a kiss. Especially not in front of Ron.

"And what?" Ron pressed.

"Her husband turned up at the house she was keeping me in yesterday. He tortured me pretty badly, worse than anything Bellatrix has ever done. He used Sectumsempra and... I nearly died," she said, her voice hollow. "Bellatrix came back and went absolutely crazy at him. She attacked him, saved my life by performing the counter-curse and then today... today she let me escape."

"She _let _you?" Harry asked, incredulous.

"She basically returned my wand to me, left me untied and free in the home and told me '_Do what you must'_," Hermione revealed. "So I took her broom and flew here."

There was silence for a brief moment, broken by Ginny's mystified tone. "But... why would she allow you to leave?"

"I don't know Ginny," Hermione answered, a half-truth, half-lie. The whole situation was confusing to her, and she couldn't say for sure what Bellatrix's reason had been. The older woman had told her nothing before she had left in such a hurry, and so Hermione was left to simply guess. The most logical (but also sort of illogical at the same time) reason was that Bellatrix had feelings for Hermione that ran deeper than just lust. Had it been something so simple as sexual desire she would have probably just gotten rid of her somehow and the problem would be solved. It had to be more, but Hermione couldn't say exactly how deeply Bellatrix felt for her.

_Maybe one day soon I'll know_, she mused. _Maybe Bellatrix will change her mind._


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you for all the reviews, and apologises for the slightly longer than usual delay!**  
**

**ThisLife103.7**- I don't want to say too much and say what happens but I just wanted to let you know that a happy ending is entirely possible. :P

**Lucissa4ever****- **Bellatrix isn't in every part (she's in 90%, however) purely because I need them to be absent for the story to work. Sort of. You'll see what I mean when you read the next few chapters. :)

**Virgoincarnate****- **Thank you so much. Wish it was cannon..,. suppose it would result in scarred children though. :P Thanks for the heads up on the other story too, I'm always happy to take a look at other recommendations! You'll learn about the magic in this chapter, and whilst I don't want to give away the future, I'm not completely against happy endings...

**OpheliaBlack- **Sorry on the femslash front... at the moment the plot will be the focus, but don't worry, the day will come...

**Kriszti7****-**Haha, sorry. I just think it's interesting to see what you readers guess is coming up and to read your shocked replies. :P I love reading theories. Would you hate me if I told you that you're right about some things, but not others, and I'm not telling you anymore than that? Well, apart from one thing. They will meet again before the battle at Hogwarts. And that's all you're getting from me... :P

** Zaskina- **It's not ending yet, don't worry. I will mark the fic "complete" when it does end, although there are 30 parts altogether so there's a lot more posting to be done for the moment! Thanks for the review. :)

** greeneleka- **Cheers m'dear. :) It's so sweet how you call them my Bellatrix and my Hermione, hehe. They will continue to cross the line, so hope you enjoy where I take this.

**Whurmy- **I heart your reviews. You may not heart Ron featuring more in this for a while though. Don't worry though, nothing too icky, promise.

**Anti-Gravity111- **The first recent memory from Bellatrix will be in chapter 14, so not long to wait now. :) I wanted to wait for the right moment and I feel to truly understand you need to know a few things first, which will obviously be in this chapter and the next. Thanks as always, you're very lovely!

**YuffeGetsBears- **Ugh, assignments. You have my sympathy! Well the main reason Bellatrix let her go is because she knew that even if she didn't see her, she would be tempted to visit Hermione by knowing she was available to see. Hopefully after this chapter you'll understand why she would be so tempted a little more...

** Questionforyou- **You will see Lemmy again, but not yet I'm afraid!

**LazehWritahGurl36- **You will soon find out... :P And don't worry, they'll meet each other again soon.

** Wirenfeldt Jr**- Of course the review replies will not affect chapter size. :)

**ICouldBeSuper- **I actually intend for Bellatrix to sound like a young child at times, because there are signs of her childishness throughout the books. Glad you spotted that! Re Lemmy, I meant that in later chapters you will discover more about herself and Bellatrix. I didn't mean to imply she is extremely important to the storyline... sorry about that! You will discover some interesting points about what Bellatrix relied on her for.

* * *

_I cannot help it, I couldn't stop it if I tried_

_The same old heartbeat fills the emptiness I have inside_

_And I've heard that you can't fight love, so I won't complain_

_'Cause why would I stop the fire that keeps me going on?_

_Michelle Branch, I'd Rather Be In Love_

* * *

_**12.**_

The next time that Hermione set eyes on any Death Eaters had been at Bill and Fleur's wedding, from which herself, Harry and Ron had been forced to quickly Apparate away from. Before leaving, she had desperately tried to catch a glimpse of Bellatrix, but not catching sight of her, she assumed that she was either not there or staying away. Considering the latter, she felt a pang in her chest, hoping that she meant enough to Bellatrix for her not to be a target anymore. A crazy idea, but she was still going to keep hoping.

Whether Bellatrix had been there or not, Hermione had been fortunate to survive. Really, they were all lucky enough to escape with their lives, and so she tried not to dwell too much on the raven haired woman. For some insane reason she had been granted a second chance, and she would have to use all her energy on defeating Voldemort, regardless of any feelings she had for Bellatrix. Now was not the time to be selfish, because her own feelings should be disregarded considering the way most of the wizarding world as a whole felt about the cause Bellatrix currently stood for._ You're for the greater good, Hermione._

Over the next few months as they moved from Grimmauld Place to random locations, Hermione revealed nothing of what had happened between herself and Bellatrix to Ron and Harry. There was still something between her and Ron, although they were not officially together, and she didn't want to say or do anything to upset the mood; not when things were already so tense whilst they searched for Horcruxes. The items they had been given by Dumbledore hadn't been a whole lot of use so far (although Hermione grudgingly admitted that the Deluminator had led Ron back to them after a moment of weakness) and she was beginning to feel more frustrated than ever. Fortunately though, Hermione's magic was as strong as it ever was, despite her fears when imprisoned that she may never be as good as she used to be.

Try as she might, forgetting about Bellatrix had been utterly impossible. Each night she dreamt of the older witch, the dreams so real that upon waking she felt as though she had lost the most important person in her life, which was evidently ridiculous considering they were both on different sides of the war. As if that wasn't bad enough, every waking thought about Bellatrix was followed by her wondering about where the Death Eater was now, what she was doing, and even if she was with Rodolphus. Hermione had tried numerous things to distract herself; reading, speaking to Harry and Ron, even going so far as to develop her relationship with Ron further by holding his hand and leaning against him, though she had yet to actually kiss him.

It wasn't working, and Hermione couldn't figure out why. She had always loved Ron ever since they became friends in the first year, and over time it had developed into something of a crush. Now that she could have him, she found that she was no longer interested, and her thoughts were constantly dominated by one of the few people in the world that she would never be able to be with. Ron was nothing but a mediocre substitute; the reason she had been so angry and upset every night after he had left was as much to do with the sinking despair she was falling into regarding Bellatrix as it was related to losing her not-quite-a-friend-but-not-quite-a-boyfriend.

Being an Undesirable had only amplified Hermione's anguish. Moreover, considering that the Ministry had fallen, things had become increasingly dangerous. Hermione did feel extremely lucky to have gotten out of The Burrow safely, but now she wondered if she should have just given up. Being a Muggle-born who associated with Harry Potter pretty much made her a serious target in Voldemort's eyes, and as a blood traitor, Ron didn't fare much better. It had made searching for the Horcruxes all the more difficult, and despite their best efforts and many near misses, they had so far only managed to secure and destroy the locket, leaving another four Horcruxes plus Voldemort himself left to handle.

Not having any idea where to look next, Hermione had taken to perusing the numerous books that she had brought with her, including the book, _The Tales of Beedle the Bard _that Dumbledore had left her in his Wizarding Will. Many of the books she had already read, but there was still one, _Ancient Love_ that she had yet to consider in detail, having only skimmed it so far. She had brought it along hoping that it would help them to understand a little more about exactly what protection Harry had been granted when his mother sacrificed herself for him, but nothing had jumped out at her as of yet. In fairness, she hadn't actually read it from start to finish, considering other tasks far more worthy of her time, but with no new leads, Hermione forced herself to sit down with it to see if there was anything new she could learn.

After two hours of reading the book, Hermione had still not discovered anything even vaguely useful or that she didn't know already. It was extremely irritating to say the least, but Hermione didn't want to give up in case there was something in the latter half of the book that she had yet to come across. As annoying as it was to have to concentrate so hard on what felt like a futile attempt, Hermione knew it was the right thing to do. If she missed something essential then she would never be able to forgive herself. Besides, she was the bookworm of the three, and if she didn't do it who would? Neither of the boys had shown a great deal of interest in her investigations anyway; they thought that she was wasting her time.

Several minutes later, and Hermione was drawn to the page she had just flipped onto. It looked utterly irrelevant to the bond between Harry and his mother, but all the same, she couldn't take her eyes from the book no matter how hard she tried. There was something about the words she read before her that triggered a memory inside, a crucial part of something that she had failed to understand. She had thought herself ridiculous these past few months for her feelings about her encounter with Bellatrix, that there had been a connection between them, a bond far stronger than anything she had ever expected. Maybe she had been wrong. Could this be the answer she was looking for?

* * *

_**December 1981**_

_Bellatrix's first couple of months in Azkaban, before she had gotten used to the feelings of torment and helplessness had been like a constant Cruciatus Curse on her emotions. The Dementors made her have doubts about the decisions she had made over the years; firstly her decision to desert her sister, Andromeda, secondly to go along with the marriage to Rodolphus and thirdly her joining the Dark Lord. To make things worse, they were just three of many memories that played over and over in her mind. She was wondering if she'd done the right thing; willingly accepting punishment for a crime she did not commit, purely so her Lord would see how devoted she had been had seemed worth it at the time, but not now. Surely though her Lord would come back to rescue her? He couldn't really be dead, could he?_

_After she had worked hard and been granted the honour of becoming a part of Lord Voldemort's inner circle, she had thought the rewards would come. Moreover, as the only female Death Eater to be included in the inner circle, she had assumed that it meant her Lord had feelings that ran deeper for her than for any of the other women. Granted, there had so far been no outward signs, but that didn't mean that they didn't exist deep within him._

_As hard as she tried, Bellatrix could not shake off the incessant need to feel loved. Rodolphus had long since given up trying to ply her with his affections even before Azkaban, and although it meant they had gotten along better, it had also left Bellatrix feeling as though there was nobody in the world that truly cared for her. Narcissa her been so fixated on her life with Lucius and their baby boy, Draco, that even she had given up on Bellatrix in the months before her imprisonment._

_There was only one thing that Azkaban had offered Bellatrix that was of benefit, and that was clarity. She now saw that things had gotten out of hand, that she had gone too far. Nevertheless, this was an endless sentence. It wouldn't matter what she said; they would never free her. Moreover, if her Lord did return there was no question of her returning to him. It was a lifetime of service; the Dark Lord would not accept her abandoning him, especially if he were the one to release her from the hellish world she had now been entrapped into. _

_Maybe if she tried hard enough her Lord would see how much she cared and it would give him the strength to return. He could offer her so much... power... wealth... protection. More than that, he was of pure-blood descent, and that meant that he was as respectable as they came in the eyes of history, despite what the Mudbloods, blood-traitors and half-bloods thought. Her life with him would be far better than what she had been given with Rodolphus, of that Bellatrix was sure._

"_My Lord!" she called through the bars into the night sky. "My Lord, I am waiting for you! Please, my Lord!"_

"_He's gone, you bitch!"_

_Spinning around, Bellatrix moved back towards the door of her cell, towards the sound of the familiar voice._

"_HE SHALL RETURN!" she shrieked._

"_NO HE WON'T!" Sirius shouted back. "Why don't you spend less time pining for your Scum-Lord and more time concentrating on developing some remorse for all you've done wrong, you evil cow!"_

"_FUCK YOU, BLACK!" she yelled._

_Sirius only laughed in reply, most likely at her use of his surname. The surname that they had once shared was a link between them no matter what sides they had fought on and what decisions they had made. I should have called him something, anything, else, Bellatrix thought angrily. She didn't want to be associated with Sirius, and she most certainly didn't want to feel remorse. Besides, she hadn't done anything wrong. The Longbottom's she was not responsible for, and any Mudbloods or Muggles that she had tortured had without a doubt deserved all they had gotten. A round or two of Crucio put people in their place, above all else._

_The only thing that Bellatrix now regretted was being stupid enough to stand up and shout her beliefs during her trial instead of just keeping her mouth shut. If she had avoided Azkaban then she could have gone on with her life, left Rodolphus now that both her parents were dead, and created a new life for herself. She could have had a career, married someone that she loved even despite what people thought of her. Everything could have been perfect, and then when her Lord returned, she would be there for him. Instead she was locked in a cell, doubting herself, doubting the decisions she had made, and she didn't even have a house-elf for company._

_Screaming loudly, Bellatrix didn't stop until her throat was raw and there was an intense, burning pain at the back of her mouth. She hurt so much that she could barely stand the pain of it, of knowing that she would be shut away, probably for the rest of her living years. It didn't bear thinking about, but then all there was to do in a tiny room with no company was lose herself in her own desperate, horrendous, painful thoughts._

_For the first time since she had found out she was to marry Rodolphus, Bellatrix cried._

* * *

Over and over Hermione read the pages before her, ignoring the detailed analysis for the moment and simply focusing on the bare facts to get an understanding of the actual concept. It seemed so unbelievable that such a connection could exist, but then this was a factual book, not one based on myths and fairytales like _The Tales of Beedle the Bard_. She had already come across many rare, complicated forms of love, and like the others, this one was a love that she had never before heard of. Reading it over one last time before she processed her thoughts, Hermione took in all the information she possible could.

:::

_**Semper Amor (Forever Love) or Aeternus Amor (Everlasting Love)**_

_**What is it: **__A rare, ancient love formed between anyone with magical blood within them, (including Muggle-borns) which may be described as a strong bond that cannot be broken through force or any other means. It is a kind of romantic love, different to that experienced between family members such as a mother and a daughter, and goes far beyond friendship and the love within Mediocris Romaut Amor (Ordinary Romantic Love)._

_**Identifying:**__ This is extremely difficult; a couple experiencing such love may not realise it unless they separate (which in such a bond is extremely rare). This is due to the fact that when apart, both lovers will experience insomnia, intense dreams featuring each other, weakness and depression. As this is the way many feel after a break-up from their love, it is often considered to be what we have previously referred to as Mediocris Romaut Amor when it is in actual fact Semper Amor. When neither individual can cope with being apart for an extended period of time, it is a sign that Semper Amor plays a part. _

_From the few individuals who have experienced Semper Amor , it has also been reported that there is a feeling of "falling into the other person" during the first kiss, or of bodies "entwining", "melting" or "fusing" into each other, and even the couple rising, suspended in mid-air during the very first kiss. Kissing and/or intimate contact also bring about feelings of true happiness more intense than within Mediocris Romaut Amor._

_**How is it formed: **__It has long been believed that Semper Amor is formed from the first moment the two lovers meet, even though it may not be realised or acknowledged at first._

_**Why:**__ As far as is understood, it occurs randomly with no logical explanation. The hatred that one may feel for another is not a factor, and indeed it is possible to have the Semper Amor bond with someone and to actively hate them at the same time. Semper Amor does not recognise wars, disagreements or conflicts, and exists alongside such issues between lovers._

_**Cure: **__There is no known 'cure' as such. Those affected by the ancient magic can choose to ignore or not act on it, but once it has actively been fed (i.e. from the moment of the first kiss or intimate touch) it will cause intense emotional pain beyond all other kinds of pain should the lovers actively choose to permanently go their separate ways. Not more than a few days will pass without each lover considering the other, and sustaining a long-term, loving relationship with another is close to impossible. It is safe to say that from the research completed so far, nobody has ever successfully ignored Semper Amor and gone on to lead a happy life._

_**Further information: **__There is no desire whatsoever for the lovers of Semper Amor to attempt relations or affairs with any other, thereby ensuring complete emotional faithfulness (although physical faithfulness can never be ensured due to a variety of love potions, spells and free will) for the entire duration of the relationship (usually life). As has already been touched upon, resisting the love is possible, but painful and inadvisable due to the extreme feelings of depression it evokes in both lovers._

_Upon the death of one half of the partnership, the effects of Semper Amor lessen. However, although it is once again possible to experience happiness and contentment with another, the deceased will never be forgotten by the survivor, and will forever remain in their memories, sorely missed._

_Due to the rarity of its' occurrence and lack of solid information known about Semper Amor, it is not a well-known Ancient Love by any means. Few witches and wizards would be able to provide details of this love, although it is generally considered a fact that it does exist due to much of the research and evidence regarding it, which we have detailed throughout the rest of this chapter._

_:::  
_

The chapter went on to explain in detail how Semper Amor was discovered, and gave examples of people who had experienced this sort of love. After skimming through, Hermione noted that all but one story was positive. Ignoring the happy stories, Hermione instead chose to focus on the miserable account of one woman from the 1970's who claimed that after falling for a married man, Semper Amor had completely ruined her life (and presumably, Hermione thought, the man she had fallen for) as she could no longer concentrate on her career as a Healer, and subsequently, had ended up making a drastic fatal error with a patient suffering from a case of Dragon Pox, thereby losing her job.

It begged the vital question; had the explanation for her unwanted, despised affections for Bellatrix been contained in this book all along? It seemed impossible to imagine, but that did indeed seem to be the case. The supposed ancient love, Semper Amor, was likely to exist, and it did explain an awful lot about Hermione's inability to put Bellatrix out of her mind. On it's own Hermione may have considered herself to just be pining for something she couldn't have, but then there was the kiss to consider. It had felt like no other, and it wasn't as though it was because of a rush of love or emotional feelings for Bellatrix, it had felt like a physical reaction. How could she logically explain that, if not through this type of love?

"Hermione?"

Forcing herself out of her thoughts, Hermione snapped the book shut and turned to face Harry.

"Yes?" she replied, trying to sound as normal as possible, and as if she hadn't just discovered that she was probably in love with a Death Eater for the rest of her life.

"Are you ok?" Harry asked, taking a seat next to her.

"I'm fine," Hermione lied, smiling at Harry and hoping it actually looked like a smile as opposed to a grimace. Then, just in case Harry could see through her, she added, "I have a bit of a headache."

Sympathetically, Harry nodded. She supposed he must be more understanding when it came to headaches, purely due to the fact that he experienced the most intense pains courteous of Voldemort invading his mind. "Maybe you should lie down and take a break from reading," he suggested.

"But there's so much to do," Hermione protested. "We need to make some progress."

"I know," Harry said with a sigh. "This is more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. So much time spent waiting around in the hope that we stumble across something."

"It's hard," Hermione agreed. And then, because she felt that she should at least raise Harry's spirits if she couldn't raise her own, she added, "But we've gotten rid of a Horcrux now... that's excellent progress. Even if it takes us another five years, it'll all be worth it in the end if we can defeat Him. Right?"

Harry smiled, his green eyes flashing at Hermione. "Yes. It will."

For half hour or so, they both sat in companionable silence, both pondering their thoughts. Hermione supposed that the difference between them was that whereas Harry was fixated on how best to locate the Horcruxes, she herself was constantly thinking about Bellatrix, and if there was any way that she could speak to her without endangering Harry's, Ron's or her own life. She didn't know what there was to say to the other woman, but maybe if she could show her what she had discovered, Bellatrix would listen to her, would see that the only way forward was for them both to unite on the same side. The Good Side.

_Because I will never give up what I believe in for her,_ Hermione vowed. _I will suffer in pain for the rest of my life before I join Voldemort._

If Bellatrix felt the same way about joining Hermione in the war against Voldemort, then there was going to be a serious problem. But somehow, Hermione thought that the chance of Bellatrix coming over to the side she fought for was far stronger than the chance of herself becoming a Death Eater. For one, she was a Mudblood, forever despised by all of Voldemort's supporters, and there was no way she would ever be accepted by them. On the other hand, Bellatrix's loyalty to Voldemort appeared to be far more complex than Hermione had previously thought, to the extent where she didn't really understand how he had such a hold over Bellatrix. Or any of the Death Eaters, really. They tortured and murdered for someone who would never truly value them. _Bizarre._

Although risky, Hermione would have to speak to Bellatrix in person once more. She knew where she lived (even if she didn't know the address, she knew what her home looked like, and hopefully that would be enough to Apparate there) and would just have to go there herself, alone, with Harry and Ron not aware. It was safer if they didn't know of her plan, for they would only try to stop her or offer to come with her, and that simply would not do. This was something that for the moment had to remain only her secret, though eventually it would be one that she brought Bellatrix in on.

The best time to go would be at night, although one of them was always on duty. She could leave when it was her turn, but that would be foolish, and putting the boys in danger. What other option did she have though? She could lie to them about desperately needing supplies, argue that she would just make a quick trip to a Muggle supermarket for food. She had done it before, after all, and constantly eating mushrooms was irritating Ron especially, even if he didn't complain after he had sheepishly returned to herself and Harry.

Of course, then there was the problem of actually getting food, but if all went well with Bellatrix then she could just go to the supermarket quickly straight after their meeting. It was either going to be ok with Bellatrix, or she was never going to see the boys again. There was not going to be any in-between; she somehow figured that Bellatrix would decide on something at the very least. Moreover, if this connection really did exist, then Bellatrix would be able to say if she too had been experiencing the same sort of feelings and dreams as Hermione.

There was, however, the ever so small problem of making sure she spoke to Bellatrix when she was alone. Hermione knew how to send her Patronus with a message, but what if Bellatrix was with Voldemort or other Death Eaters when she received it? That would make things all the more complicated. Although she could send a Patronus to Lemmy; couldn't she? The reliable house-elf was almost certainly in the house, and if Hermione sent the message in the dead of night, and warned Lemmy only to pass on the message to Bellatrix when she was alone for her safety, then that would be ok? Right?

It was still risky, but then what other choice did Hermione have?

"I think tomorrow morning I should go and get us some proper food," Hermione said, careful to keep her tone light.

"Huh?" Harry said, coming out of his thoughts. "Where from?"

"I thought I'd go to a Muggle supermarket," Hermione said convincingly. "I'll go somewhere busy and use the Invisibility Cloak... and I'll grab as much as I can so that we can stock up for a while."

Harry considered her words. "Well, maybe two of us should go... Ron could go with you, and that way you would be safer."

Hermione shook her head. "No. Harry... if something were to happen to me, then it's better to have two of you here to continue looking for Horcruxes." She held up a hand to stop him protesting. "No, listen to me. It is far safer this way! Besides, I doubt very much that Death Eater's are going to be hanging around waiting to take me from a supermarket."

"But if they somehow manage to track you, it's impossible to know what they can do for sure..." Harry began.

"I'll be under the cloak," Hermione reminded him. "Anything dodgy and I'm straight out of there. But to be honest, surrounded by Muggles I should be quite safe. I'll blend in. I mean, there are millions of Muggles they could attack all over the country; what is the chance they'll pick where I go? If I go to somewhere that isn't too heavily populated like London it means I'm not so much of a target. I'll be fine," she said, reassuring him.

"Fine," Harry said, defeated. "It'd be good to eat proper food again. No offence Hermione but mushroom dishes really aren't your strong point."

"Oh haha," Hermione said, smiling. "Well, after we've stocked up you'll have a nice break from them. Maybe you and Ronald could share the cooking between you for a few days."

Harry rolled his eyes, and stood up to go and speak to Ron. "I'll do it willingly, but I think Ron might have something to say about that."

Hermione sighed. "Doesn't he always?"

Watching Harry's retreating back, Hermione congratulated herself on a job well done. She would send a Patronus when she was on duty that evening telling Lemmy to ask Bellatrix to be alone in her house at ten o'clock tomorrow morning. If Bellatrix planned on attacking her then that would give her enough time to formulate some sort of a plan, but it was the only thing that Hermione could think to do. If she used the Invisibility Cloak then she could hopefully take note of any danger, and should she spot any other Death Eaters then she would leave immediately.

Somehow though, she didn't think that Bellatrix would betray her. Maybe she was absolutely crazy, but it was what she chose to believe.

Either way, in less than twenty-four hours, she would have her answer.


	13. Chapter 13

Well well... as always some very lovely replies! Once again, I will try and update later in the week before I go away for the weekend, but if not hold tight as I have not abandoned you all. You rock. That is all.

**Kriszti7**- Yes, they were my idea indeed! I researched latin because I know that's what J.K Rowling uses as inspiration for a lot of the words/concepts she has created in the world of HP. Thanks very much. :)

**Whurmy-** Thanks for the compliments m'dear... much appreciated! I love that you use the word heart, by the way. I ALWAYS do that.

**greeneleka-** Praise of the highest level... why thank you! Yep, this will continue to have plot throughout, so you don't have to worry on that front. :)

**Thinuil-** Don't worry, I honestly appreciate the reviews however often you get a chance. You find out the answers to a lot of the things you're wondering about within this chapter. :) And yes, feel free to ask for tips, I don't know if you have a account but you're welcome to PM me or whatever and I'll be happy to help!

**OpheliaBlack-** Sorry if I didn't make it clear, but the ancient magic is the ancient love between them. Because in HP... love is considered to be the most powerful kind of magic of all, like how Harry's mother saved him because she loved him so much that she was willing to die for him.

**LethalPoison-** Haha, it doesn't happen quite like that, but your idea would make for a fabulous crack fic... :P

**YuffeGetsBears-** Don't want to reveal for certain if it's a happy ending, but I have no immediate plans to make you cry. Hope that helps to answer your question.. :P

**ICouldBeSuper-** Read on and you will find out what Bellatrix says. :P Well Bellatrix talks to Lemmy because she has no one else to talk to, you know? Lemmy is the one outlet she has to always be truthful with and because she's her house-elf she can't betray her to Voldemort etc. Lemmy will be back later on, don't worry. :)

**GothicPheonix-** As I stated above to **Kriszti7**, I came up with the whole extract myself, I just used latin for the names. I don't want to say whether the ending is happy but don't worry too much about it... I'm not a fan of tragedy either... ;)

**Questionforyou-** I'm sorry that you're disappointed. I guess the point is that love is a magic in itself in the HP world. The whole point of Semper Amor is that the magic of it is that it is unbreakable... Bellatrix and Hermione will always love each other. Imagine it in terms of real life... how magical would that be? That you had to always love someone, no matter what they did or who they were. And you will see for yourself if I include Malfoy Manor very shortly. ;) Thank you!

**deedeex912-** Thanks very much. :) Out of curiosity, what made you click on my fic in the first place if you're not a fan of Bellatrix/Hermione?

* * *

_Up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness_

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk_

_But you are the only exception_

_Paramore, The Only Exception_

* * *

**13.**

By the time morning had arrived, nerves had set in for Hermione. She had prepared herself as best she could, making sure that she had the book carefully concealed (she had used a _Reducio_ charm and slipped it into the pocket of her jeans) her wand held tightly in her hand, and the Invisibility Cloak thrown over her, ready to Apparate. She didn't want to take too much with her just in case she could not return if she was captured, and had even been in two minds about whether to take the cloak. Harry however had insisted, and although she wasn't sure he would be so encouraging if he knew where she was really going, she chose not to argue and to do as he said, aware that being invisible would aid her with her plan.

She had not slept well, and the little sleep she had managed to get had been filled with dreams of Bellatrix as usual. The dreams so far were like nothing she had ever experienced before; intense and real in ways that made her feel as though she were actually with Bellatrix. She remembered every aspect such as her facial details, the exact shade of her eyes and the way she dressed. Sometimes the dreams were pleasant, sometimes horrendous, morphing into each other in unrelated encounters that she could never quite see the link between. One minute Bellatrix was kissing her in the Forbidden Forest, and the next she was strangling her in the Slytherin Common Room. She was several different Bellatrix's that looked exactly the same.

The Patronus she had sent to Lemmy the night before had been simple, merely saying:

"_Lemmy, it is HG. Please tell Bellatrix that I need to speak with her and will arrive at Black Manor tomorrow at ten o'clock in the morning. Make sure Bellatrix is alone when you tell her this."_

She had opted for giving her initials so that it was not immediately clear who the Patronus was from. That way, if by some horrible fluke someone else had overheard they would not have easily guessed it to be her. Bellatrix was a smart witch; she would have known immediately who was sending her such a message, and hopefully she would have been intrigued enough to attend. Although Hermione had not asked her to be alone for the meeting, Bellatrix would have realised this was obvious, and so Hermione was not worried about her misinterpreting it, but just concerned for whether she would choose to betray her or not.

Fortunately, it had been surprisingly simple to reach Bellatrix's home; it seemed that just picturing a place and not really having any idea of the real location made it possible to Apparate there. Upon her arrival, Hermione made sure that she was covered by the Invisibility Cloak before she actually entered the property. It was possible that there was protection placed around it, for although Hermione could see the house, she did not know what would happen when she stepped foot inside the grounds.

Taking the chance she had not been granted whilst fleeing from there initially, Hermione gazed up at the large manor before her. It stood alone (no other houses were even near to it from what Hermione could tell) and had vast, open grounds surrounding it, the green grass neatly trimmed. Hermione supposed that Lemmy must take care of the state of the gardens; she didn't picture Bellatrix handling such menial duties when she was busy running around on behalf of Voldemort.

Deciding that she could put it off no longer, Hermione began to climb the giant, iron black gate before her, using the horizontal bars to hoist herself up and over. She hissed in pain as her jumper rode upwards, and she scraped her stomach along the spears sticking up. It was a decidedly Muggle way of entry, but she didn't want to use any magic if she could help it, just in case that alerted Bellatrix to her presence. What she was doing was dangerous enough as it was, and any added potentially risky moves should be avoided.

Moving slowly, quietly, Hermione kept her wits about her as she made her way up the steps to the manor, her heart pounding in her chest. So far, so good, but that didn't mean she could let down her guard yet. She had already decided on a plan of action which started with her knocking on the door. As soon as she had knocked, she moved back, pressing herself into the wall. She took as few breaths as possible, wanting to remain silent, and the thirty or so seconds that it took for the door to open seemed ten times as long.

Upon seeing Bellatrix appear, Hermione felt a rush in her chest and her knees quivered, despite the fact that the older witch had her wand out before her and was looking around furtively, brown eyes wide. Not wanting to make Bellatrix aware of her presence, (not yet anyway) Hermione slipped behind her into the manor, pressing her back to the wall to her left where she could still see Bellatrix moving around outside, presumably looking for her. The other woman had still not spoken, and seemed to be concentrating on her surroundings, her posture signalling that she was ready for any attack that might possibly come.

Eventually, Bellatrix re-entered the property, closing the door behind her. She looked confused. Maybe even a little worried, although Hermione couldn't be sure of this. When Bellatrix moved into what seemed to be a sitting area, Hermione followed, making sure that she made no noise and stayed far back. Bellatrix still had her wand out, and the last thing Hermione needed was for Bellatrix to throw a curse at her. Fortunately, Bellatrix simply went over to the window, looking out as though expecting to see Hermione outside.

Now that Hermione had seen that Bellatrix did appear to be alone, she decided it was time to reveal herself. Remaining under the cloak, she uttered softly, "Bellatrix, I'm here."

As predicted, Bellatrix span around with wand in hand, looking shocked and taken aback. Her eyes flitted back and forth, but as the room was so vast she couldn't place exactly where it came from. "Reveal yourself!" she snarled, and there was a sudden viciousness in her eyes.

Harry and Ron would have thought her crazy, but Hermione took off the cloak, allowing Bellatrix to see her for the first time. She smiled nervously and kept her hands by her side, her wand limply held there for she did not want Bellatrix to think she was going to curse, jinx or hex her. "Hi," she said.

Upon seeing that Hermione was alone and did not appear to want to attack her, Bellatrix slowly withdrew her wand. "You're a fool for coming here," she spat. "Do you have a death wish?"

"You won't kill me," Hermione said, though her voice sounded uncertain even to her own ears.

Bellatrix raised her eyebrows. "Won't I? Maybe I was an imbecile before... blinded by whatever spell you had somehow managed to cast over me, _Mudblood_."

Hermione shook her head, ignoring the stab of pain in her chest that came with Bellatrix's insult. It was to be expected, wasn't it? From the minute that Hermione had decided to return she knew it was highly unlikely that Bellatrix would warmly welcome her, hence why she had entered the Manor in the way she had. Currently, at least she and Bellatrix were on nearly equal footing. Both of them had possession of their wands, and the only factors that counted against Hermione were that Bellatrix knew darker magic than herself, and that she didn't know her way around the Manor should she need to escape. That was ok though. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

"I did not cast any spell on you, Bella. I didn't have access to a wand until after... after what happened." She couldn't bring herself to specifically mention the kiss, unsure of what sort of reaction it would invoke in Bellatrix. She would wait until after she had shown her the book to mention the details.

"Either way, you should not be here," Bellatrix said harshly, though there was a flash of an unidentified emotion in her eyes. "And don't call me Bella!"

"Fine," Hermione said dismissively, though she had witnessed the unreadable glint. _I'm getting to her._

Bellatrix looked her up and down and then around her, as though searching for something. "Where's my broom?" she asked, and she took a step towards Hermione. Despite the fact that she was smaller by several inches, the move coupled with the wild look in Bellatrix's eyes unnerved Hermione.

"Umm," Hermione said, remembering that she had stolen Bellatrix's broom months ago. "I sort of... forgot. It's fine, I mean, it's not like I've used it since."

Bellatrix stared angrily and swept her hair back from her face, raven curls thrown backwards. "Ugh! Never mind. Just tell me what you want and then _leave_ before I change my mind and hand you over to the Dark Lord!"

"Ok," Hermione said grudgingly, though she did worry about whether Bellatrix would follow through with her threat or not. "But you need to hear what I have to say, or rather, read what I'm going to show you."

Bellatrix laughed cruelly. "What could you possibly interest me with?"

Taking out the book from her pocket and enlarging it back to normal size, Hermione found the relevant page, and handed it to Bellatrix. "Read this."

Unexpectedly, without protest Bellatrix took the book, and sat down on the sofa, though she did have her wand gripped firmly in hand, implying she thought that Hermione may take the chance to attack her. She read silently, not stopping to ask Hermione any questions, but reading the same page over and over, just as Hermione had done when she first stumbled across it. Without asking permission for she was no longer Bellatrix's prisoner, Hermione took a seat next to the Death Eater, leaving enough space between them for Bellatrix not to call her on her actions. Taking the opportunity whilst she could, she observed the older woman, noting that she had bags under her eyes as though she had not slept properly in a long time, and she had lost weight over the past few months.

Eventually, Bellatrix looked up from the book, and said in a bored voice, "What exactly is the point you are trying to make?"

Hermione swallowed. She had been afraid of having to explain to Bellatrix why she had brought this to her attention, even though she was pretty certain that as an intelligent witch she had figured it out for herself. It was quite likely that Bellatrix was going to scoff at the mere idea of there being an unbreakable bond between them, especially considering the fact that she considered Hermione as a Muggle-born to be less than worthy. Maybe if she had been a half-blood then it wouldn't have been quite as bad, but as it stood, Hermione was the lowest of the low.

"You can't deny that there is a connection between us," Hermione said, choosing her words carefully. "It goes beyond that of a normal attraction... how else would you explain it?"

"Explain what?" Bellatrix said, acting as though she were entirely oblivious to what had happened between them.

Not rising to the bait, Hermione said, "Well if it were just me then I'd think it was a warped wizard version of Stockholm Syndrome, but somehow I don't think that's the case. I think you feel something too, because otherwise you would never have allowed me to leave."

"Escape, you mean," Bellatrix denied, face expressionless. "And what is Stockholm Syndrome?"

"Put simply it's when a victim develops feelings of trust and sympathy for their captor," Hermione explained.

"Muggle mumbo-jumbo then," Bellatrix said airily.

"Don't," Hermione said firmly. "It's just me and you alone here. We have to be honest, otherwise how are we going to figure this out?"

"There is nothing to figure out," Bellatrix said sharply. "I don't know what you're trying to imply about me, but there is absolutely no way I would ever be so stupid as to fall in love with a _Mudblood_."

Hermione sighed. "Being in love isn't something you can control."

Apparently, this was going to be even harder than she had imagined it to be. Bellatrix had completely shutdown all her barriers, whether through fear that what Hermione had revealed to her about Semper Amor was true or because she thought this whole situation was ridiculous and was about to curse Hermione, she had no idea. Nevertheless, although her behaviour at present suggested that Hermione had read the situation between them wrong, there were three very important points she had noted in her head. Firstly, Bellatrix had _kissed her back. _She wouldn't have done that if she wasn't attracted on some level to Hermione. Secondly, she had _allowed her to escape_. Again, what possible motivation could she have for doing that if she didn't care about Hermione? Thirdly, she had _yet to harm Hermione_. Had Bellatrix wanted to she could have at least started a duel, but instead she had sat down and read as Hermione has requested that she do. _That has to mean something, right?_

"We're not getting into this debate again," Bellatrix said dismissively. She threw the book back at Hermione. "I can't believe you've wasted my time with this. Get out before I kill you." She stood, drawing her wand.

Remaining perfectly still, Hermione looked up. "Then kill me, because I have no intention of leaving until we talk about this. Are you honestly telling me that you haven't been having dreams about me, or that you didn't experience what I did when we kissed? Or that you've been able to go a day without thinking about me? I might be a Mudblood but for some insane reason there's a bond between us that we cannot ignore!"

Bellatrix stared. "Even if it does exist between us, and I am not accepting that it does, but if that is the case... what do you propose we do? We are on different sides of a war, agree on nothing."

"So you say," Hermione said, trying her hardest to remain patient. "But as the book says, '_Semper Amor does not recognise wars, disagreements or conflicts, and exists alongside such issues between lovers.' _So I don't see how that matters."

"You don't see how it matters? Bellatrix shrieked suddenly, causing Hermione to jump. "If my Lord knew we were talking like this then we would be dead. We can never be what the book says, _never_. So let's just ignore it and continue onwards."

"And never live a happy life?" Hermione posed. She stood tall opposite Bellatrix.

Bellatrix laughed at this, a brutal laugh that reminded Hermione of who she was faced with. "Do you honestly think my life is happy now?"

"You're not happy?" Hermione questioned, for she hadn't really thought in great detail about how Bellatrix felt on a day to day basis. She had always assumed that Bellatrix would be so focused on serving Voldemort that she didn't really spend any time sitting around and dealing with her emotions. Besides, being a Death Eater didn't allow someone to go through everyday feelings like being happy and sad; it usually only allowed for anger and hatred. She hadn't ever considered that Bellatrix wouldn't feel happy; she had only thought that she didn't care enough either way. Wasn't it about the fight and the pleasure that brought to her? Curses, screaming and torture. _Wonderful._

"My life is... exhilarating!" Bellatrix proclaimed, avoiding the question.

"Are you happy?" Hermione pressed, not wanting to let the subject go and trying to draw more information out of Bellatrix without making it too obvious. She needed to know more about how Bellatrix felt, not general vague answers.

"It isn't about happiness." Bellatrix deflected, and Hermione realised that she was as good as admitting that she wasn't content with her life. "It's about serving my Master, though I must admit life is far more boring now that I don't have you to _Crucio_ for entertainment," she smirked. Then, her facial expression brightened. She raised her wand.

"Don't," Hermione warned, realising what the raven haired witch intended to do. She drew her own wand.

Bellatrix ignored her. "_Crucio!_"

"_PROTEGO_!" Hermione yelled louder, having been prepared, and raised her wand swiftly to prevent Bellatrix from successfully torturing her. So strong was the Shield Charm that she caused the curse to rebound on Bellatrix, and horrified, she watched as Bellatrix was thrown backwards in the air, a terrified scream wrenching from her throat. From behind the safety of the shield that had been cast between them, Hermione watched as for several seconds, Bellatrix twitched in agony on the floor before her body stilled.

At this point, Hermione no longer worried about protecting herself. She lowered the shield and moved towards Bellatrix, kneeling next to her. The older witch looked pained, and no longer angry. Lost and confused were the two main emotions that Hermione could read in her deep brown orbs. _But she's ok,_ Hermione thought with relief, despite her anger at the fact Bellatrix had tried to torture her. The logic she possessed had allowed her to realise that it was Bellatrix's conflicting emotions that had caused her to try and commit such a terrible act, even if she did insinuate that she would have gained pleasure from it. This time, Hermione could see through her.

"If your life isn't happy, then why are you so intent on living like this?" she asked, sat inches away from Bellatrix on the floor next to her. She couldn't bring herself to ask how Bellatrix felt, because she knew she would only receive a mouthful of abuse as a reply, and certainly nothing that even came close to an apology. What Hermione wanted to do was yell "_Told you so_!" but she knew that if she was to have any sort of positive impact on Bellatrix that she couldn't do that. No, she had to be the bigger person here, no matter how hard it would be.

"I cannot leave him," Bellatrix whispered.

"You won't leave him you mean," Hermione corrected.

She knew at once that Bellatrix was not talking about her husband, but Voldemort. Her main concern appeared to be for him, and whilst she was justified in being worried about him finding out what was going on between them, she couldn't see why Bellatrix wouldn't go to the Order for protection. The Fidelius Charm that had been placed over the Order's Headquarters would most likely ensure Bellatrix's safety, though of course there was no guarantee that they would permit her presence. Nevertheless, there would be a solution of some sort, Hermione was sure. She envisioned a happy, carefree Bellatrix stood before the Order, aiding them with their fight against Voldemort. _Wishful thinking._

"Please tell me you're joking," Bellatrix groaned, changing the subject, and standing up.

"Huh?" Hermione said, rising to her feet too, unaware that she had said anything and feeling a little shaky. Seconds later and she remembered; Bellatrix was accomplished at Legilimency and had probably invaded her private thoughts, unknown to her whilst she was lost in thought. "Oh. Well, I don't think it's such a bad idea! You might actually get to experience happiness and discover you _like_ it. And don't delve into my mind like that!" She couldn't decide whether she wanted to slap, curse or kiss Bellatrix. The latter urge was overwhelming, but for the moment she restrained herself, just as Bellatrix appeared to be doing. Although now that she was directly opposite Bellatrix and so close to her, there was something in her expression that seemed uneasy, and there was a faint blush on her cheeks, visible against pale skin.

"There is no cure," Bellatrix said, her voice sounding hoarse and changing track again. _Acceptance,_ Hermione thought triumphantly. _Finally!_

Hermione shook her head. "No. And that book's latest edition was only published two years ago so unless they've made progress since..." her voice trailed off. "Or if one of us kills the other, or dies or... whatever, then the intensity of every aspect will fade." _Would you really kill me, Bellatrix?_

Bellatrix closed her eyes, letting Hermione's declaration pass without comment and swaying on the spot. If she had been anyone but Bellatrix, Hermione would have thought she was going to faint, but she was almost certain that Bellatrix would not fall apart in that way. However, it did encourage her to move forward, so now there were only a couple of inches between them, and she could feel the heat radiating from the other woman's body. It only served to highlight the fact that nothing was as it seemed, for although on the surface Bellatrix appeared cold and heartless, it was now completely obvious that there was so much more to her, whether she realised it or not. It showed that she was still capable of love, even if the Death Eater in her despised it and considered it to be a weakness.

Unable to stare at Bellatrix for any longer without doing something, Hermione slowly wrapped an arm around her waist, and drew their bodies together. Immediately Bellatrix's eyes flew open, and shaken out of her reverie, she opened her mouth to protest. Taking the chance whilst she could, Hermione pressed her lips to Bellatrix's, her emotions surging high the moment that they made contact. All the fears, weakness and worry she had been feeling over the past months no longer seemed to matter, and she was entirely focused on the woman before her, drinking in the intense sensations between them, ecstatic that Bellatrix was reciprocating. It felt much the same as the first kiss, and as they began to rise a few inches from the floor, Hermione wondered if it was because there had been such a long length of time between them that Semper Amor was treating it as the first kiss once more.

Minutes later, Hermione reluctantly pulled backwards, though she still held onto Bella's waist to keep contact between them. She watched, waiting for the older woman to speak first so that she could gauge her mood and decide how best to continue their encounter. There was no time for more kissing or touching between them to progress, especially under such circumstances, but they would have to decide where to go from here if only so that Hermione could get back to Harry and Ron.

"I see what the book means," Bellatrix said, and she sounded as vulnerable as Hermione would if she was facing Voldemort with no wand or weapon. "I forgot how powerful the sensation was."

Hermione gave a shaky laugh. "I know. What are we going to do?"

Bellatrix looked lost, her eyes fixed on Hermione's, still dilated from the kiss. "I don't know. Ignore it...?"

"No," Hermione interrupted. "Do you have any idea what I have been going through?"

"Yes," Bellatrix said, and at once Hermione realised she was right. Whatever she had been going through herself, Bellatrix had also been experiencing the very same feelings.

Hermione sighed. "I'm sorry." She buried her head into Bellatrix's neck, grateful when she didn't pull away. "I don't know what we should do, but I know that I don't want the solution to be never seeing you again. I've been so miserable, I can barely focus on..." she stopped. She had almost mentioned the Horcruxes, but that would have been a very bad idea. Knowing that Bellatrix was bound to be intrigued by her stopping midsentence, she quickly began to practice Occlumency, shielding her from discovering what she wasn't supposed to know. Over the past months she had been trying to clear her mind before bed, which were mainly futile attempts due to her thoughts of Bellatrix, but still likely to have had some effect.

"Killing the Dark Lord?" Bellatrix said sarcastically, taking a guess at Hermione's words and practically right, although in a vague sense of the truth. "And therein lies the problem."

"The problem is that you support your Lord, not that I am trying to kill him," Hermione said patiently, pulling herself back to face Bellatrix again.

"Aren't they just one and the same problem, depending on which way you look at it?" Bellatrix suggested dryly.

"Whatever," Hermione said impatiently. "But I can never join your side; I'm Muggle-born and Vol- I mean your Lord, he hates people like me. You could join our cause though and we could be together."

"It's not that simple," Bellatrix said tiredly. And suddenly, she looked completely sane. _Normal._ "Life is not a fairytale, Hermione."

Feeling another surge in her chest as Bellatrix used her name as opposed to a derogatory offensive word, Hermione was pushed to continue. "I'm not saying it'll be easy," she agreed. "But you can do it."

Had somebody predicted to her years ago that at this very moment in time Hermione would be trying to persuade Bellatrix Lestrange to fight for the greater good, she would have laughed until her stomach ached. Now that she was in the moment though, it seemed achievable. She needed to make Bellatrix focus on her rather than the Dark Lord, making her offer of a free life much more appealing. Should the greater good win the war against Voldemort then as long as the right people were in charge at Ministry of Magic, things would work out fine as long as Bellatrix had proved her loyalty.

"You don't know me well enough to make a statement like that," Bellatrix countered.

Hermione paused, thinking things over in her head. "Well... why don't you tell me exactly what it is that makes you want to be a Death Eater? What beliefs and values?"

"Purity of blood is important to me, and my Lord is important to me," Bellatrix told her, without even having to think about what she was saying.

"You do realise that your Lord is a half-blood?" Hermione said cautiously.

Bellatrix laughed. "Even if he is, he's still purer than _you_."

Hermione kept a straight face and didn't encourage Bellatrix with so much as a smile. This situation wasn't in the least bit funny, anyhow. "Tell me... considering your feelings for me, do you really look at Muggle-borns in the same way?"

"_Yes._ You are the only exception," Bellatrix said, no trace of laughter, her eyes downcast, and her cheeks flaming at such a confession.

At once, Hermione could see that she was ashamed to feel the way she did, and to a certain extent, she felt sorry for the raven haired witch. She had been taught from a young age that to be of pure-blood status made one a superior witch or wizard, and undoing those sort of beliefs that had been with Bellatrix since childhood was extremely difficult to do. If Hermione had more time then she was certain that she could have persuaded Bellatrix, but as it was they were on a tight schedule and couldn't hang around all day chatting.

It was for Hermione now to decide how best to proceed. If Bellatrix didn't want to fight against Voldemort, there was nothing she could do without the luxury of time. However, it was also pretty clear to her that Bellatrix didn't _really_ want her to just walk away without ever coming back; the older witch's behaviour and appearance showed how much Hermione's absence had affected her. Really, it would probably be best for Hermione to leave her alone and give her time to think about what she wanted to do, then come back at a later date.

"I think I should give you time to decide what you want," Hermione said softly. "I have made my feelings clear, and now it's your turn to consider what you're prepared to do."

She turned, ready to leave.

"Wait," Bellatrix said, and she pulled Hermione back around to face her. "Can't... can't this be our secret and we still... fight on opposing sides?"

It was a poor and warped compromise. Hermione knew that it would be Bellatrix who had to make a tougher decision than herself, because she would be the one who was abandoning all she had preached for practically her whole life. Bellatrix was risking her relationship with her sister, Narcissa, and she supposed Lucius and Draco, although Hermione wasn't sure exactly how much she cared about them. To a certain extent, Hermione could see where Bellatrix was coming from; they would be able to meet, indulge each other, and then once again go their separate ways. Nevertheless, there were too many dangers attached to that for Hermione's liking; someone like Rodolphus or one of the other Death Eaters could discover them, or worse, Voldemort could penetrate Bellatrix's mind. Should the latter happen there would be no doubt that he would kill his traitorous Death Eater, and that was something that Hermione wasn't prepared to risk.

"If we do that and your Lord finds out; you're dead," Hermione pointed out. It was amazing how Bellatrix's view on the matter had changed so suddenly after the kiss. The sensations were evidently strong enough to change her mind, which in itself was a miracle.

"He could just as easily see this memory," Bellatrix said stubbornly. "So that is an entirely ridiculous argument to make."

"Actually, it's not," Hermione retaliated, "The more we do it, the more chance that we slip up. You have hardly anything to hide at the moment, but as time goes on, it is more likely that something related to me will slip through the barriers you put up around him."

Bellatrix sighed, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Just... do what I said and think about it?" Hermione said, softer now.

Bellatrix looked at her, dark brown eyes focused only on Hermione. It made her feel slightly intimidated, self-conscious almost. She was giving her a look that made Hermione feel as though she could see right through her into her soul, and as though she was seeing her in an entirely new light. Maybe it was just that Bellatrix wasn't used to people being kind to her, but whatever the reason, it made Hermione's heart beat just that little bit faster.

When Bellatrix gave a small nod to indicate that she would do as was asked of her, Hermione knew that it was time for her to leave. Making sure she had all her belongings, she placed one final kiss on Bellatrix's mouth, hopefully to sustain them both a little longer. Again she felt the rushes of emotion, felt her legs sway and her mind go fuzzy. She was unbelievably temped to stay and spend the next few hours kissing Bellatrix, even if ultimately the majority of that time they just lay quietly together. That was wrong though. She had to fight so she could create a better future for them, and then they would have all the time in the world.

"How will I contact you so we can meet again?" Bellatrix asked suddenly, evidently aware that she had no idea how to find Hermione. "So I can give you my answer?"

Having thought ahead, Hermione drew a fake Galleon from her pocket. "Sorry, I forgot. Use this." She handed the coin to Bellatrix. "I have another Galleon of my own that is partnered with only this coin. I've used a Protean Charm to bind them. You see the writing around the edge that is usually the serial number of the goblin who produced it? Well when you want to meet me, change the serial number to a time and date. I'm assuming that you know how to do that?"

Bellatrix nodded, seemingly dumbstruck by Hermione's brainwave.

"I'll know you've changed it because the coin will heat up," Hermione added. "It's better for me if it's a daytime meeting, that way I can tell Ron and Harry I am going out to get us food like I did today." She made a mental note to hurry in the supermarket after leaving; she had already been gone far too long.

"Did you get that idea from the fact that we use our Dark Marks to communicate?" Bellatrix asked, sounding intrigued, but not angry.

"Yes," Hermione admitted reluctantly. Not wishing to go into any further detail, and certainly not wishing to mention Dumbledore's Army, she said, "I need to go. Can I Disapparate out of here?"

Bellatrix accepted her answer without further questioning, and she waved her wand. "I've taken off the enchantments for you to do so directly from here. Hurry, though."

She moved away, allowing Hermione to throw the cloak over herself. "Goodbye Bella," she said, despite being under the Cloak.

Still staring at the place where Hermione had previously been visibly standing, Bellatrix replied despondently, "Goodbye."


	14. Chapter 14

Sooo sorry for the delay, I have been away and have literally just gotten back, so before I eat a cupcake and sleep, I'm posting this! :P For those of you that wanted to read Bellatrix's current thoughts, you will hopefully like this chapter. It is done in "memory format" as has happened so far (Hermione is evidently the protagonist and it wouldn't make sense to randomly switch to Bellatrix now) but obviously her thoughts and feelings have been detailed, so read on. :) As always, thank you for reading and reviewing beautiful people. :)**  
**

**ThisLife103.7-** I don't want to give the plot away, so I can't answer that I'm afraid. But thank you for the review. :)

**OpheliaBlack-** I did debate Bellatrix taking Hermione prisoner again, but I didn't want to overdo it and I want the story to progress with cannon events happening. I guess all I can say is read on and find out what does happen. :) Thanks for the posting your thoughts, I love reading what people guess is going to happen!

**deedeex912-** This will stick to cannon in that many of the events do happen as they happen in the Deathly Hallows, but I either put a twist on it to make it more interesting and fit with the fic, or write it as it happened and skim over it if it isn't important as obviously nobody wants to read the Deathly Hallows re-written by me, haha. I suppose other than that all I can say is wait and see. :P

**elfspirit7-** I don't want to give away the ending, but I will say that it isn't going to be a tragedy fic that leaves you feeling depressed and unsatisfied. But it's in the angst category because of what has happened so far and will continue to happen, not because of the ending. :)

**Thinuil-** Thank you for such a sweet review and for your thoughts. I hope that you will like what I have decided to do about Bellatrix's choice, but it won't be revealed for a few chapters yet as there is some other important stuff I thought should come before it. As far as the ending goes, then see what I have posted to elfspirit7 above. :)

**lilithflower714-** Thanks! I am absolutely in love with all these reviews, haha. As I keep saying, I won't say what happens in the end, but I hope people will like the choice I have made. :)

**just another dead reptile-** That is such a lovely thing to say, as I have really worked at keeping them as in-character as possible. Hopefully you'll continue to be impressed, if not, thanks anyway for thinking this so far!

**DubstepPhoenix- **Well if you like misery there is still plenty of that to come throughout too. :)

** Whurmy- **Don't worry about it. I'm slightly late with this so I promise to try and be on time for the next chapter!

**ICouldBeSuper-** It's cool, I know how irritating net issues can be! Thanks for thinking Hermione and Bellatrix are in-character... was quite worried about that in the last chapter.

**Kriszti7-** Love that song too. Well, at least this fic is healthier than drugs, right? :P

* * *

_I want you to burn_

_I want you to steal_

_I want you to bleed_

_And see how it feels_

_Nick Lachey, I Do It For You_

* * *

_**14.**_

_**August 1997**_

_Upon arriving back at her home and discovering that her Mudblood had disappeared, Bellatrix had felt a combination of fear, regret and relief. She was terrified because when the Dark Lord learned of the disappearance, (and she would have to tell him, because otherwise when he found out from someone else he would only react more horrifically) the consequence would be that she had to face his wrath. Immediately after coming to this realisation, she felt sorry that she had made such an absurd decision, but this was coupled with relief that she would no longer have to battle with the emotions raging inside her on a daily basis. The Mudblood could go back to her life with her pathetic little friends, and Bellatrix would only ever have to deal with her if they stumbled across each other in Battle. And even if that happened, she planned to look the other way. Avoidance was the only solution as far as she could see._

_In Bellatrix's entire life, no one had been able to affect her in the way that her Mudblood had. It had gotten to the point where she had even started to think of her as Granger, and then Hermione. When the latter happened, when she started seeing her as a person and not just a possession, Bellatrix knew that she was in trouble. It didn't make sense in the slightest, but the harder she tried to maintain her customary behaviour around the girl, the less like herself she seemed to act. What made the situation far more dismal was the fact that she was less interested in her service to her Lord than she usually was, and she was worried that her lack of interest had been noted. Narcissa had been giving her strange looks the past few days, and although she hadn't said anything, Bellatrix knew that as her sister, she realised there was something wrong._

_Allowing her Mudblood to escape from the house earlier this morning had been a stupid idea; Bellatrix was aware of that now. If she hadn't been in such a rush to get to the Dark Lord then she would have had time to think things through, but as it was she just wanted to make a decision and forget about the girl. Keeping her as a prisoner would have been a ridiculous idea when she was such a distraction, and one look into her eyes and Bellatrix knew that even if she screamed Avada Kedavra, there wouldn't have been be enough meaning or force behind the words to actually kill her._

_Now, faced with the Dark Lord, Bellatrix had to seal off all her thoughts related to Granger and focus on being the devoted servant that she had been for years. She was almost certain that she was accomplished enough at Occlumency to keep the Dark Lord out of her thoughts, as long as he didn't probe too hard. If she didn't give him reason to penetrate her mind, she was sure that her skills would keep her safe. It was just a case of being on her guard and making sure that she didn't say or do anything stupid._

"_You wished to see me, Bellatrix?" Voldemort said, clasping his hands in front of him whilst he stared directly into her eyes. There was an intrigued look on his face as he watched Bellatrix stand before him, and she knew he had already sensed she was bringing bad news to his attention._

"_Yes, my Lord," she said, thankfully able to keep her voice level. "I have... unfortunate news."_

_Voldemort raised his eyebrows, face strangely impassive. The only sign that the anger was beginning to settle was a quick flash of fire in his eyes. "Oh?"_

"_It seems that this morning when you requested my presence, the Mudblood, Granger, escaped from the Manor," Bellatrix paused, allowing Voldemort a few seconds to process the news. "I must apologise, my Lord, I have..."_

"_Silence!" Voldemort hissed, interrupting. Now that he was aware of the unwanted news, he was ready to show his disapproval with no need for pretence any longer. "I am not interested in apologies. How have you allowed this to happen?"_

_Bellatrix swallowed nervously, sensing how furious the Dark Lord was. "I do not know how she escaped, my Lord. She has taken her wand and broom, and she was locked in her cell when I left," she lied, keeping her mind blank in case there was an active attack on her mind._

_Voldemort stood, towering over her. "It sounds, Bellatrix, as though she had... outside help. I am assuming there was an Anti-Disapparation Jinx placed within the area of her cell?"_

"_Yes," Bellatrix said quietly._

"_Well I can only surmise that Potter and friends, perhaps even the Order rescued her," Voldemort said sharply, and Bellatrix knew that he was now enraged beyond belief. "Do you know how displeased I am, Bellatrix? That Potter has thwarted me once again?"_

"_Yes," she said, remorseful as ever. "Please, my Lord..."_

_Before she could finish her sentence, Voldemort raised her wand and slashed it across her, sending her flying backwards against the far wall. She cried out in agony, shocked. Never before had her Lord attacked her in such a way; he always punished her by giving her tougher missions, and never by causing her physical pain. Why would he do this? Terrified in a way she had never been before, Bellatrix forced herself to remain still and not reach for her wand, knowing that if she attempted to defend herself it would only make the situation worse. _

"_You have failed me in a way that I never imagined you would," Voldemort said, voice echoing off the walls. He raised his wand once more, and silently cast a spell. "You have disappointed me."_

_Unaware that it was coming, for she had not heard the incantation Crucio, Bellatrix was suddenly struck with an intense agony boiling from the inside, beyond pain she had never before experienced. It felt as though she would go crazy from the sheer throbbing that was exuberating from every pore of her body, washing over her in ways that she never imagined to be possible. Is this how it always felt? Bellatrix had faced the curse before, but never in such a brutal, unhinged manner that made her terrified of her own reaction, of the screams that she could hear coming from her mouth, no matter how hard she tried to stop them._

_Is this how Hermione felt?_

_With great difficulty she forced her mind back to the present torture, knowing that here in this state she was far more vulnerable than she had ever been before. Occlumency was vital now, even through the waves and swirls of suffering that threatened to drown her, choking her from the inside. It felt like she was bleeding through every hole in her body, like her mind was on fire. In addition, it was almost impossible to stop the flashes of images running through her mind, and should this go on for much longer, she was sure she would end up like the Longbottoms'._

_Crazy crazy crazy. Crazier than you already are._

_After what seemed like hours, Voldemort withdrew his wand. Calmly, he sat back down, watching Bellatrix writhe on the floor, a smile on his face. "How does it feel, Bellatrix, to experience the same torture that you so easily dish out to Mudbloods and Muggles alike?" _

_Bellatrix whimpered. The truth was; she could never handle pain. Lucius had borne the brunt of the punishment after the fiasco at the Ministry, and fortunately, Bellatrix has gone unpunished, most likely due to the small part she played considering the Dark Lord's possession of her body for the majority of the encounter. The Dark Lord had threatened her with pain, but not actually injured her, instead satisfied with her fearful reaction alone. Bellatrix indulged pain in Battle for the sake of her Lord or the odd cut across her wrists when there was no one around to take her rage out on, but once the adrenaline had worn off and she was alone, the frustration began. It was something she had been well aware of ever since a young age, but she chose to ignore it, never thinking about the consequences of batting curses around like a Bludger on the Quidditch pitch. The Dark Lord was aware of her serious lack of tolerance for pain, she was sure of that. _

"_But of course, you suppose yourself to be above such trivial treatment," Voldemort continued. "I am well aware that I have never punished you in this way before, but I felt it was time. I should make it clear that the years of devotion you have provided me with means absolutely nothing should you not continue to perform at the high level I expect. Further mistakes will lead to much worse punishment than this."_

"_Yes, my Lord," Bellatrix said, her voice hoarse. "I understand."_

"_Let's hope for your sake that you do," Voldemort said, smiling terribly at her. "You may leave."_

_Scrambling up, Bellatrix all but fled from the room, desperate to get back to her own home where she could collapse in bed alone to recover. Now that the only inhabitants of her house were herself and her elf, there was nothing else to worry about for the time being. More than that, she didn't even have the energy to think coherently at the moment. She had saved her Mudblood and been punished for it, and hopefully, she would never have to think about that wretched, lovely girl again. _

* * *

Heartened by her visit to Bellatrix, Hermione had felt better in the immediate days following their encounter. She was still dreaming of Bellatrix and missing her, but the fact that they had parted and planned to meet once again evidently made all the difference, because she was not sinking into the similar depressive state she had when there was no guarantee that she would ever see Bellatrix again. It was entirely possible that due to the events occurring that this may still happen, but Hermione had chosen to discount this, putting her faith in Bellatrix. She was accomplished enough at Occlumency to handle Voldemort, and as long as he didn't suspect anything they should be safe. The main worry for Hermione was not getting herself captured; with Snatchers and Death Eaters out there, the world was a dangerous place.

However, as time had gone on, Hermione had once again started to feel downhearted, mainly due to Bellatrix not contacting her. She incessantly checked the coin, worried that it was not heating up or working properly, but after examining the Galleon time and time again she was forced to admit there was nothing wrong with it. More than likely it was that Bellatrix had experienced a change of heart and had no intention of ever being with Hermione. Ever since the very first time that she realised this, Hermione had literally had a constant physical ache in her chest that made it almost impossible to put Bellatrix completely out of her mind.

She knew that she should stop moping and focus on the search for Horcruxes, but it was easier said than done. Ron kept trying to comfort her, thinking her to be upset about their lack of progress, which would have been perfectly fine were it not for the fact that she knew his feelings ran deeper. If she had never met Bellatrix then maybe she would be perfectly content with Ron, but ever since she had spent hours at a time with the raven haired beauty (albeit whilst being tortured, but according to Semper Amor that was neither here nor there) it was becoming impossible to allow him to touch her. She had always been a tactile person, she loved dancing, hugging, kissing, holding hands... but knowing that Ron wanted to be doing all of that and a lot more was something that she just couldn't handle.

They had decided (or rather, Hermione had suggested and Ron had gone along with her) to visit Xenophilius Lovegood in order to discover more about the symbol they had seen around his neck at Bill and Fleur's wedding, but the visit had proved futile, and had only led to their almost being captured by Death Eaters. Frankly, it wasn't an experience that Hermione was willing to repeat anytime soon, and so for the moment they had been continuing with their own research and not involving other people. Harry seemed frustrated by this, but Ron had accepted it more easily, although he was still hanging around her incessantly. She wished things could just go back to the way they were when they were just three best friends, but becoming adults in the wizarding world apparently brought a lot more to the table than Hermione had ever bargained for, even without considering Voldemort.

_Voldemort._

Just the word made her cringe inside. She knew it was silly and that it was only a name, but it was a name associated with fear, death, and loathing. Voldemort hated everything Hermione was and everything she stood for, and as if that wasn't bad enough, he was trying his utmost best to bring everyone else onto his side. From what they had just heard on the radio show _Potterwatch_, he was succeeding in attracting an immense amount of followers. The realistic side of Hermione was aware that this was because so many people were afraid, but that still didn't make it any better. If more witches and wizards were willing to stand up and fight then maybe Voldemort wouldn't have gotten as strong as he was; ignorant attitudes had aided his bid for domination and power. His name being made taboo had been the final straw in Hermione's eyes; what else was there left for him to taint and destroy?

It had been so lovely to hear familiar voices on _Potterwatch _that Hermione was barely thinking about Bellatrix at the moment, but instead was engaged in an argument with Harry. So engrossed was she that she didn't consider Harry's anger, or his inability to think straight when he was worked up. It was for this reason that by the time Harry had half said Voldemort's name; Hermione knew it was too late. There was no defending themselves against Snatchers; not when they were outnumbered, and so quickly, Hermione had done the only thing she could think to do to protect Harry and cast a Stinging Jinx. Hopefully it could at least buy them some more time so that one of them could think of a decent plan to get them out of this situation.

During their interrogation, Hermione barely paid attention. She was aware of being manhandled and having to deal with sick and disgusting comments from who she knew to be Fenrir Greyback, but as a form of self-protection it seemed her mind was forcing her to tune out. As a Gryffindor she was supposed to be brave, but she had been courageous so often lately that she wasn't sure how much more she could take. It was only when they specifically addressed her to ask who she was (thankfully she had remembered Penelope Clearwater's name, although whether that would do her any good remained to be seen) that she forced herself to pay more attention, but all she could think about was the fact that as soon as this charade was over, they were going to be tortured and killed. There was no way out this time, she was sure of it. They had never actually been caught before, not without the use of their wands or some sort of advantage.

Unfortunately, once they had spotted her picture in the Prophet; Hermione had known the game was up. Her lies didn't even sound convincing to her own ears. Immediately in her head she had started planning what they could do once they got to the Ministry; maybe they could try to break free before they actually entered the building and then disappear off into Muggle London? If they chose the right moment it would be possible, wouldn't it? They may not have their wands or possessions but it was sure as hell worth a try.

_You were put in Gryffindor for a reason_, she reminded herself. _Fight to the death, Hermione!_

Except suddenly she learned that they would be taken to Malfoy Manor, and horrified, she barely reacted as they were forced to Side-Along Apparate. It was quite possible that Bellatrix would be at Malfoy Manor, or at the very least that her sister, Narcissa would be present. Hermione wondered what Narcissa knew about herself and Bellatrix, and although she assumed that she would have no idea, if possible she could try and speak to her alone and ask for Bellatrix. It could work out to her advantage if Bellatrix chose to save her one again, but then there was also the possibility that in front of others Bellatrix would react harshly and torment her for the sake of the audience.

It was difficult to know what to do for the best.

Another possibility would be if Draco was present, for despite everything vile he was and stood for, Hermione did not think he would be able to torture or kill them. If she begged, maybe he would not actively help them, but provide a distraction at the very least. She knew that it was clutching at straws, but what else could she do but hope and wish? Herself, Ron and Harry were the only ones who knew of the Horcruxes and were actively searching for them (she assumed, at least) and so if they were killed, who else was there left to defeat Voldemort? People would try, she was sure of that, but _He_ would keep coming back time and time again until all the Horcruxes were destroyed. Part of her now wished that she had disobeyed Harry's wishes and confided in someone, if only to ensure that after their deaths the search would continue. Nevertheless, she had failed to do this, which brought about one extremely important realisation to her.

If they wanted Voldemort defeated, they had to stay alive. There was no other option.

* * *

_**April 1996**_

_Being in Azkaban had changed Bellatrix. For a while after the breakout she was a little more insane than usual, and then, a little more inquisitive. The world had changed a great deal during the many years she had been locked away, and suddenly being free meant that she had to learn all of what had happened during her incarceration, usually from Narcissa as nobody else would indulge her incessant questioning. Lucius was irritated at her lack of knowledge on absolutely everything from the Ministry of Magic to newly discovered Dark objects, and most of the other Death Eaters generally couldn't string a sentence together. Rodolphus had been entirely uninterested in spending time with her, (Bellatrix supposed she should thank Azkaban for this at the very least) and Draco seemed utterly terrified of her, although she had no idea why considering she had never actually done anything to him. Narcissa would kill her if she even thought about hurting her precious baby boy._

_The love Narcissa felt for Draco was something that Bellatrix found herself often wondering about. It was so entirely unconditional; no matter what Draco had wanted since returning home for the Easter holidays, Narcissa had provided. She practically waited on him hand and foot with no complaint, seemingly happy to serve him and do anything and everything he required. Amazed, Bellatrix had watched with avid fascination each and every time she performed a simple task for him without question. _

_Eventually, Narcissa called her on her relentless, persistent staring one evening whilst they were sat in the lounge. "What do you find so fascinating about my conversations with Draco?"_

_Bellatrix frowned. Narcissa was entirely clueless. "It's not your conversations; it's the way you do everything for him. Does it not bore you?"_

_Narcissa rolled her eyes. "No, Bellatrix. Draco is my son, and it is my job as his mother to provide for him and to make sure that he is safe, happy and well."_

"_But... why? Mother didn't used to do that for us, did she?" Bellatrix asked, confused. She didn't understand it at all. Still. What was it about Draco that made Narcissa care so much? He was her son, yes, but that didn't automatically mean she should have to slave away for him when he was perfectly capable of making his own sodding bed, or getting his own bloody drink._

_Narcissa wrinkled her nose. "Our mother wasn't exactly a fantastic mother. She had some satisfactory moments, I know, but for the most part, she was useless. I on the other hand happen to love Draco very much. He is my whole world, and I would do anything for my son; without him my life wouldn't be the same."_

_Bellatrix remained silent, contemplating this. She was unsure of how to reply, but fortunately was saved from doing so by Narcissa continuing to talk._

"_It makes me wonder how... well, how mother and father could ostracise Andromeda," she confided._

"_Ugh," Bellatrix spat, for this was something she could easily comment on. "They ostracised her because she decided she would rather run away and shag some Mudblood filth. She deserved everything she got and more."_

"_The point I am trying to make is that should Draco ever do that, which I am confident he wouldn't, but should he... I could never abandon him," Narcissa said quietly._

"_You cannot be serious, Cissy?" Bellatrix said, mouth agape. Surely her sister was exaggerating? Mudbloods just weren't acceptable, to the Blacks, Lestranges, Malfoys, or any other respectable, pure families._

"_I cannot control how strongly I love him," Narcissa said patiently. "He is my only son; I would die for him. You don't understand how it feels because you don't love."_

_Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "Of course I do. Just because I don't go all mushy about it, and generally consider love to be nothing useful, I love you, Cissy."_

"_Yet you would still abandon me should I betray our Lord," Narcissa stated. "That isn't real, honest, love, Bella. The type of love that I feel for Draco and the type of love that Andromeda evidently feels for her husband, that is the true definition of love. You will risk everything for that person because they mean so much to you."_

_Defences rising, Bellatrix sneered, "If that's the way you feel then why didn't you intervene when Andromeda ran off? I didn't see you backing her up then!"_

"_I was young and foolish," Narcissa said, and Bellatrix could at once see the raw honesty in her sister's eyes. "I wish that I had been strong enough to tell our parents what I really thought, or at least that I could still speak to Dromeda once in a while. I miss her, Bella, in the same way that I missed you when you were in Azkaban all that time. When you... went away... I was sisterless entirely, and it was a most horrendous feeling. I can't even begin to explain it to you."_

_Bellatrix considered this before she flared up at her sister. She understood where she was coming from in that to lose two sisters and not only one was unbearable, because she had missed Narcissa too. Andromeda had made her own choice, but at the time, yes, it had hurt. Unlike the Dark Lord; Bellatrix was still human. And although she didn't understand exactly what it was to love someone unconditionally, she could appreciate how deep the love was within her sister, just from looking into her eyes and hearing the way she talked about Andromeda and more importantly, Draco._

_Instead of arguing, Bellatrix posed another question to Narcissa. "Do you think that to love is as powerful as being in love?"_

"_I'm not sure what you mean," Narcissa said, looking bewildered._

"_Well you can love anyone, a mother, father, sister, bla bla," Bellatrix said. "But being in love... wanting someone. Infatuation or the like... is that as powerful a feeling?"_

_Narcissa considered the question before answering. "I think there are many types of love, and that some are stronger than others. But it depends on the person, I suppose. What do you think?"_

"_I think that love is generally speaking, a waste of my time. I don't even know why we're having this conversation, to be perfectly honest, Cissy."_

_Narcissa stared at her, looking deep beyond the surface. She seemed to see right inside of Bellatrix, and that was without Legilimency. It made Bellatrix feel uncomfortable, and she stood to leave the room. She didn't want to carry on talking like this, it was bringing up memories of Andromeda that she had steadfastly refused to think about since six months after she had fled to go and be with her Muggle-filth. The girl was dead to Bellatrix; the Andromeda that existed now was absolutely nothing to her, no matter what Narcissa said._

"_If you ever fall in love, you'll know exactly what I mean, Bella." Narcissa said meaningfully, eyes still locked on Bellatrix. "I only hope if you do fall in love it's with somebody suitable and not a Mudblood, because when you're torn between what choice to make, it'll be the worst decision you have ever had to make."_

"_I could never love a Mudblood," Bellatrix spat. "Never!"_


	15. Chapter 15

Before you read this part, I would highly recommend that you take a look at fanart (the link is **http:/ / julipy. deviantart .com/gallery/#/d487riy** without any spaces in-between) that has been very kindly created by** julipy** to go along with this fic. Basically this came about because I received a PM from **Shut up the Karma** who requested my permission for this to be drawn, and of course, I said yes. It's really fantastic and it'd be lovely if you could let **julipy** know if you like it as I imagine she spent a lot of time on it. :) If anyone else would like to draw something then feel free to PM me and we can discuss it. :)

Regarding this chapter, I have used the torture scene from the movie to write it, not the book, purely because the acting was so utterly genius and it slotted in well to the fic.

Thank you for your reviews, as always. :) It's good to see that a few of you recognised the irony of Bellatrix falling in love with Hermione... that's exactly what I was hoping to get across!

**ThisLife103.7-** I had to change the timeline slightly by having Bill & Fleur's wedding at the end of August rather than the start, but basically Hermione is captured at the beginning of August 1997 and imprisoned for around a month, and now it is March of 1998.

**OpheliaBlack- **Thank you, I wanted to get across her love for Draco because in my opinion it wasn't made clear enough in the film, only in the book, and I feel it's an important part to the story.

**blackgrl71-** That's a really lovely compliment, thank you very much. It's nice to see that someone else thought that about this pairing.

**ICouldBeSuper-** Thank you, I did have a good time! And I will say that yes, you do get to see more of Narcissa and Andromeda in future parts. :)

**Questionforyou-** Yes, I do picture them.

**Kriszti7-** Haha, fair enough. Yes, this is exactly why I never say never too.

**deedeex912-** I literally saw your review two seconds before I was about to hit send on this, haha. Answers to your questions are: 1. Bellatrix has never been tortured (I assume you mean by Voldemort?) before simply because she's never screwed up, and as stated in the fic, during the Ministry battle for the prophecy it was Lucius who was subjected to Voldemort's rage. 2. Semper Amor will always have existed from the first meeting of Hermione and Bellatrix, but it became active from their first kiss and is therefore stronger now than before the kiss. It doesn't get stronger or weaker as such, no. It's always there. 3. I can't answer this one as it'll kinda ruin the fic. :P I think you make some interesting points though, I do agree with you. I think "good" versus "evil" is never clear cut anyhow, HP is a perfect example of that with Snape. I saw the musical Wicked this weekend for the first time and I really noticed it in that too, so it's definitely something I've been thinking about a lot lately!

* * *

_Lining up for the grand illusion_

_No answers for no questions asked_

_Lining up for the execution_

_Without knowing why_

_Ana Johnsson, We Are_

* * *

_**15.**_

The moment that Hermione saw Bellatrix's face through the gate of Malfoy Manor, she felt a warped combination of sickness and relief. The latter was barely detectable, but there was a sudden heat that fizzed within her as she saw Bellatrix, and she felt some of the longing that she had being trying to ignore for what felt like forever dissipate. She wondered briefly if it was the same for Bellatrix, that she too had felt the same spark that had fired within herself. It was hard to tell when the Death Eater steadfastly appeared to be looking anywhere but directly at her, but her reluctance to look her way led Hermione to believe that yes, she had felt something too. If she was unfazed by Hermione's presence then she would just face her; she didn't have anything to lose from one simple glance. Needless to say, despite it being silly, the thought that Bellatrix was secretly going to help her calmed Hermione slightly.

The first immediate word that sprung to mind as Hermione was dragged inside of the Manor, was _grand._ Everything about the dark home was larger than life; high ceilings and walls that seemed endless. Hermione was sure that the entrance alone was the size of five or so rooms in her parent's house. Somehow though, despite the impressiveness, there was something amiss that didn't sit right with Hermione. A cold draft sent shivers down her spine, though to her, it felt like the atmosphere of the Manor had caused it rather than a physical draft from an open window or door. Hadn't Bellatrix said before that Voldemort was staying here? Maybe that was why. Merlin, if he was here now...

She could only hope that he wasn't.

Bellatrix had asked for Draco on their way in; maybe that meant she had a plan to get them out of here involving him? Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy were also present, as well as a skulking Wormtail. Hermione weighed up their chances. Wormtail wasn't the greatest wizard; with wands they would be able to take him down, and Draco was unlikely to duel to kill. Lucius was desperate for favour with the Dark Lord, so he would be more of a problem, and Narcissa was an unknown quantity. She had only met her briefly on a few occasions before this moment, though the hatred in her eyes at Madam Malkin's as she had insulted her was still painfully remembered. Bellatrix was by far the most dangerous and skilled witch present, but all the same, with so many enemies around, (the Snatchers would also prove to be a problem) what chance did Hermione, Ron and Harry have? _Unless Bellatrix helps._

It was only when Bellatrix started to talk about contacting Voldemort after making sure that it was Harry they had captured that Hermione realised things probably weren't going to play out the way she had hoped. There was a glint of evil in Bellatrix's eyes that Hermione didn't remember seeing before; pure fervour and longing as she talked about her Lord. Desperately, Hermione tried to catch her eye, tried to convey her feelings wordlessly, to beg for mercy inside her head so that should Bellatrix attempt Legilimency, she would see what Hermione needed her to do. _Save us, Bella_, she screamed silently. _Please, please, please. _

She was ignored. Bellatrix only had eyes for Harry, gazing at him with excitement so evident in her pupils that Hermione was sure she had never witnessed such passion in her entire life. It was enough to make her feel sick, and she held in the urge to vomit, trying to think clearly. She had to be brave, daring. Out of herself, Ron and Harry she was the one that possessed an extremely logical mind, which would come in handy if she could just hone that talent of hers to come up with a solution. _Maybe we'll survive this. _

When Bellatrix finally looked her way; she was unrecognisable. There wasn't a touch of sanity in her expression, and no sign that she even considered the connection that she shared with Hermione. After she had correctly identified that Hermione had used a Stinging Jinx on Harry and taken her wand, she realised just how much trouble they were in if Bellatrix was not going to provide aid. Hermione's only possible form of defence had been Bellatrix, and Hermione knew that the chance of gaining back her wand and escaping was very little if Bellatrix was going to turn against her. The Death Eater simply didn't _care_. Terrified, Hermione whimpered quietly, and then almost collapsed with fear the moment that Bellatrix laid eyes on the sword she claimed to be hers.

The next few moments happened so fast that Hermione barely had a chance to comprehend what was happening. The Snatchers were being thrown out, Harry and Ron were dragged to the cellar by Wormtail and Bellatrix was backing her against the wall, screeching into her face. She had singled Hermione out away from the others; was that so that she could help her escape again? Maybe she was going to take her back to her own home where she would proclaim to interrogate her about the sword, but in reality would let her go for the second time? Did she care that much for Hermione?

_Wishful thinking,_ Hermione told herself.

And she was right. Suddenly, Bellatrix was on top of her, and the interrogation began. It was like being back in her cell in the very first days, before anything had happened between herself and Bellatrix. She couldn't really pay attention to anything that Bellatrix was saying, because she was so focused on the memories, on crying at what an idiot she had been, giving half-hearted protests that she hadn't taken the sword because what else could she do? No wonder she hadn't told Harry and Ron about her feelings for Bellatrix; they would have ridiculed her and told her she was being made a fool of. Bellatrix had played a clever part in pretending that she was trying to resist Hermione and would consider Semper Amor as a possibility; in reality she had been laughing at her all along.

Was it possible that the others knew, too? That Voldemort had told her what to do and that by seducing Hermione it would make access to Harry easier, and that with a bit of luck Hermione might provide vital information that lead to his capture? If it were the case that today had not been due to Harry opening his big mouth and saying Voldemort's name aloud despite the Taboo, Hermione would have blamed herself. Nevertheless, she may be innocent in that respect, but she had taken stupid risks for Bellatrix, all because she had probably been suffering from a delusional crush on her captor. _Definitely Stockholm Syndrome_, she thought bitterly. _You bloody fool!_

Then Bellatrix was scratching into her arm with her wand, carving something out. Hermione couldn't bring herself to look at whatever she was drawing or writing, for the pain sliced through her, causing her to scream aloud, wishing that Harry and Ron would find a way out of the cellar to rescue her. She tried not to make too much noise, knowing they would be distraught for her and going out of their minds with worry, but it was impossible for her to stay quiet. It was bad enough to experience the pain, but the fact that it was inflicted by Bellatrix made the situation even worse, for Hermione was unable to just switch off her feelings no matter how much she wanted to. All she wanted was to forget about what an idiot she had been and get out of there to just curl up in the tent with Harry and Ron, listening to the radio and ignoring the world around them for just an hour or so before the Horcrux hunt began once more.

Harry and Ron were everything to her. They had been the best friends she had longed for ever since she was four years old and was picked on for being a geek and a freak. When she was feeling down they made her laugh, and when she was feeling happy, who else was better to spend her time with but them? They had been through so much together that Hermione had lost count of the memories they had given her, and she had always hoped that it would continue through the rest of their lives as they grew old together.

When Bellatrix next looked into her eyes, Hermione could tell that she was seeing inside of her mind, viewing Hermione's thoughts. As at the moment these thoughts mainly consisted of _Harry, Ron, someone, help me, _Hermione wasn't too concerned. There was no point pleading because Bellatrix didn't care one iota. However, not wanting Bellatrix to start mocking her, Hermione tried not to think about her betrayal, not wishing to provide her with ammunition. Of course, when under a situation of such immense pressure, and facing Bellatrix in utter agony, (her arm felt as though it was on fire) Bellatrix could more easily know her thoughts. Hermione braced herself, telling herself that it didn't matter if Bellatrix was brutal; she would be brave and strong like she was supposed to be. _Come on, Gryffindor Girl!_

As Bellatrix leant closer to her, hair falling around their faces, Hermione flinched, not knowing what she was going to do. It was therefore a surprise when she felt Bellatrix's breath gently tickle against her ear, and the Death Eater whispered, only audible to Hermione, "Trust me."

Hermione wanted to shout and scream, _"Trust? Trust you?" _but every fibre of her being was telling her not to be stupid, to listen. She didn't trust Bellatrix, but she did need to allow this to play out if there was even the slightest chance that Bellatrix was genuine, because right now Hermione didn't have any better ideas. Short of the entire Order (or what was left of it, anyhow) suddenly figuring out where they were and bursting in to rescue them, Hermione was pretty certain that they were completely out of luck.

And then, Bellatrix spoke again, whispering in her ear, "I have to do this."

_What does that even mean?_ Hermione thought.

Bellatrix waved her wand, and suddenly, _Crucio_ came to life once more in Hermione's veins, pores, muscles, organs and every inch of her body, all coherent contemplations ripped out of her. She remembered how horrible it felt, how excruciatingly painful it was, and despite the fact that she'd experienced it many times previously; it didn't make it any easier. It only served to confirm in her mind that Bellatrix was playing with her for amusement; why else did she feel the need to go so far and inflict the Cruciatus Curse on her? If this was just her faking it then there were numerous other curses she could have used.

It didn't last too long as far as Hermione could tell; between one and two minutes would be her estimate. When it ended she allowed her head to slump to the side, facing only Bellatrix and she half-moaned and half-mumbled in agony, "Bella..."

"Hush, little one. Don't speak," Bellatrix murmured into her ear, leaning over her body.

And then, she was gone.

Bellatrix had moved away to interrogate the goblin that Hermione knew to be called Griphook from her visits to Gringotts bank. Not wanting to see any more torture, she turned to observe the Malfoy family who were standing still, watching her from across the room. Lucius looked fierce, Draco appeared frightened, and Narcissa's expression she couldn't read easily. She was staring straight at Hermione, directly into her eyes, leading Hermione to wonder if Narcissa was accomplished at Legilimency like her sister. If she was then it could cause serious problems, and so Hermione looked away, trying her best to use her Occlumency skills to shield her shaking mind.

Instead, she focused on the hair that dropped from Bellatrix's head that landed on her, trying to distract herself from thinking about anything dangerous. Unfortunately, it reminded her of the first kiss she and Bellatrix had shared, of feeling the raven haired witch beneath her whilst she pressed their bodies' together, clenched fistfuls of hair in her hand during the memorable passionate embrace. Trying not to think at all, she was aware of the only pain that she now experienced searing through her arm, for there was no after effect of the Cruciatus Curse other than feeling intensely weak and as though she would break at any moment. It was as she looked downwards that she caught sight of her skin, and the word that Bellatrix had scrawled across it for all to see, possibly forever.

_Mudblood._

A singular tear leaked from the corner of her eye, and she did all that she could not to allow an actual sob to escape. She wondered if Bellatrix meant it, and then mentally chastised herself. Of course she meant it; Bellatrix was a pure-blood through and through and hated Muggle-borns like herself, thinking them to be dirt she could kick about and play with whenever she felt like it. By pretending to be on her side and whispering in her ear it was just amusing her even further; the thought that Hermione would take her seriously probably making her want to laugh hysterically for hours on end. Everything had meant nothing to Bellatrix, contrary to Hermione where nothing still meant everything to her. She hated Bellatrix, but she wanted her all the same. She didn't want this war, or for there to be sides or fighting, whereas Bellatrix thrived on it.

"The same won't be said for this one," Bellatrix said, and Hermione dreaded what she had said just before that statement, and wished she had been paying attention so that she at least knew what to expect.

It was then it happened. Ron yelled, "Like hell!" and ran up the stairs with Harry, bringing about a crazy commotion that resulted in Hermione being dragged backwards with Bellatrix holding a knife to her throat. Hermione didn't know how Ron and Harry had gotten out of the cellar, but she felt a slight surge of hope that at least one of them would get out of this alive to continue searching for the Horcruxes to vanquish Voldemort once and for all. Even if Harry was the Chosen One, if it was just Ron or herself then they could at least destroy the Horcruxes over the next few years until someone came along that was capable of defeating Voldemort. _Screw the prophecy!_

At present, however, Hermione was still terrified. She cried quietly, shaking against Bellatrix and partially propped up by the older witch clutching her. "Please," she begged, as Narcissa and Draco battled against Harry and Ron in front of her, and Lucius was thrown backwards.

"Don't fight me," Bellatrix hissed in her ear, and Hermione couldn't tell whether it was a warning or an order. Before she had time to properly debate this, Bellatrix shouted in Harry and Ron's direction, "Stop! Drop your wands." She waited a few seconds and then repeated, "I said drop them!"

Harry and Ron had evidently decided that due to Hermione's precarious position they had better do as they were told, and so they reluctantly obliged. Around this point Hermione began tuning out again, trying to protect herself from the situation. She wanted to sob loudly, to fall to the floor and just _die_ from the torment within. Being brave was getting tough, and she wasn't sure she had it in her anymore.

Bellatrix had rested a hand against her forehead, gently keeping it still, the heat causing Hermione's heart to pound harder than it already was. The contact between them made her imagine thoughts she really shouldn't be thinking of, especially considering the situation they were in. It didn't help to calm her though, for she had no idea where Bellatrix's loyalties anymore.

Especially not after Bellatrix observed Harry's face returning to normal, the effects of the Stinging Jinx wearing off. Hermione could hear her talking, but she refused to listen, unable to handle it. It was only the last two words that she paid attention to, and they were the most important. "Call him," Bellatrix ordered with glee, and at once she realised that this meant any moment now they were going to have to face Voldemort. He would arrive, kill herself, Ron and Harry in whatever sequence he chose to kill them in. Hermione wouldn't be surprised if he threw in some torture too, just for good measure.

Bellatrix repeated her order, as Lucius, Narcissa and Draco watched each other. Hermione could only see them from the corner of her eye and was therefore unaware of their expressions, but judging by their body language she assumed there to be a certain level of hesitation. This didn't give her hope anyhow, because she knew that they would do as they had been told even if they didn't really want to. They stood to gain so much if they were the ones who presented Harry to Voldemort, and Hermione knew that they would be desperate to win favour with him.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tilted her head back to avoid having to see the Dark Mark that would be shown, not sure she could stomach it at the moment. Tears in her eyes, Hermione was sure that this was the moment._ I'm going to die,_ was all she could think. Before she had even gotten a chance to take her N.E.W.T exams, too. There was so much she had left to learn that it was ridiculous; she was going to die not knowing half the spells she should due to the lapse in her education. _How unfortunate,_ she thought, and she smiled inside her head.

Something was wrong, however. Bellatrix had stiffened, and she was looking upwards just as Hermione was. Suddenly, Hermione noticed.

_Dobby._

Dobby? Why was he here? A surge of optimism travelled through her body as she realised he had come to help them, and she sobbed with relief. The elf began to unscrew the light fixture, and then Bellatrix was shoving her forwards out of the way, and Ron had grabbed her dragging her backwards. She remained turned away, not wanting to consider the scene before her, not able to cope, but then Harry yelled, "Stupefy!" and she whirled around, needing to know if it was Bellatrix he had targeted despite the fact that she wasn't supposed to care anymore.

Ron was still grasping her as Bellatrix verbally abused Dobby, and when Narcissa was disarmed by the elf, Hermione realised that they were in control for the first time since arriving at Malfoy Manor. They had all the wands! She was briefly aware of Dobby defending his actions to Bellatrix, and the look of utter fury in the witch's eyes frightened Hermione so much that she literally clung onto Ron for dear life. She looked fit to kill, and had she been in possession of a wand, she most likely would have. Narcissa merely looked shocked at being overpowered by an elf, and as all three of them plus Griphook were pulled out of there courtesy of the elf, (and ignoring the knife that Bellatrix had thrown as they left) Hermione allowed herself a tearful smile.

Everything became a blur, swirling before her eyes until they were thrown onto a beach against wet sand, and Dobby was somehow in Harry's arms. Was he hurt?

_Oh, no. No, so much worse._

_Dying._

_Dobby is dying._

"Hermione? Hermione? What is it? Help me!" Harry said, and every word he spoke was like a knife in Hermione's own chest. There was no dittany left; it had all been used up, and there was nothing she could do but stare, crying, watching as the elf responsible for saving their lives died in Harry's arms. She refused to allow herself to listen to Dobby's last words, unable to take it, not wanting to comprehend the fact that it was Bellatrix that had done this. Why had she thrown the knife? What could she possibly have achieved by doing such a thing? They were leaving, and all she risked was killing one of them.

_It could have been me. She nearly killed me._

She wished it was her. Dobby didn't deserve this, he was such a kind-hearted caring elf that only wanted to help Harry, and anyone who was a friend of Harry. He had come to help her because that was the sort of elf that he was; he would have gladly risked his life to save the boy that he had always admired, and in fact, had devoted the past few years to helping him. More than that, Hermione knew that even as he lay dying, Dobby would have still made the decision to go through it all again.

_For Harry. For us._

At the precise moment that she thought this, Hermione considered that everything with Bellatrix had all been a lie. Every last word exchanged between herself and the older witch had all been for nothing. Even when Bellatrix had allowed her to escape there must have been an alternate reason that as of yet Hermione was unaware of. She truly was Voldemort's servant, and would never be anything else. There was no excuse for what she had done; Hermione couldn't see any justification whatsoever. She watched as Dobby's chest stopped moving, and he lay still cradled in Harry's arms. One look at Harry's expression of torment and anguish, and Hermione realised what had happened.

_Dead. _

_Dobby is dead._

It could have been seconds, minutes or hours later that they began digging a grave for Dobby, but Hermione was in a daze and had no concept of time. They dug manually, wanting to put in effort and hard work for Dobby, to show how much they appreciated him and everything he had done for them. His death could have been prevented had he not been trying to save them, but if he hadn't chosen to take the actions he did, they would be dead by now. And so in his own way, Dobby had contributed to the war by saving The Chosen One, Harry's life, and he deserved to be honoured and remembered for all he had contributed.

Ron kept on trying to touch her, to comfort her, but she shrugged him off for the moment. She couldn't bear for anyone to touch her now; she wanted to just wrap herself in her own little shell and hide from the rest of the world. It was impossible, she was aware of that, but there was only so much she could handle at the moment without breaking or snapping completely. Dealing with the grave, making sure the hole was big enough and that it was perfect for Dobby's tiny little body helped her, for it gave her something to focus on other than the obvious.

Right after they had finished creating the hole, Hermione wrapped Dobby in a white blanket, and together, they all placed him inside. After sealing it, Hermione drew her wand, and out from the ground sprang white lilies, beautifying the ground in which Dobby rested. After waving her wand again, Hermione enchanted the flowers so that they would forever bloom, never dying. It was the least they could do for the elf that had risked everything to save them.

"Lilies," Harry said, sounding choked. "It reminds me of... of my mum."

Hermione looked back at him, remaining silent.

"You know... because of... because of her name," Harry clarified, as though Hermione had not understood.

"We know mate," Ron said, gentler than usual. He too watched Harry, appearing to not have any idea what else there was to say.

Tears threatened to fall once again for Hermione, and she squeezed her eyes shut in a desperate attempt to avoid crying. There were so many kinds of pain in her chest that she didn't know what one to focus on; grief, betrayal, failure, and sorrow all battled for prime position deep within Hermione's heart. Today had brought nothing but ruin for them; they had almost lost the sword, and more importantly, had actually lost a friend.

"That bitch," Harry said, voice fierce through the pain. "So much for persuading Bellatrix to come over to our side. It'll _never_ happen."

"She's poison. She'll get what's coming to her, I know she will," Ron vowed.

Hermione nodded, not actively agreeing but not willing to disagree either. She didn't know what to think. Considering everything Bellatrix had just done, it suggested that she was going to hand them over to Voldemort, but the secret whispers were unexplained. Could it be that she wanted Hermione to stay quiet and not reveal what had happened between them to her family? If that was the case, why didn't she just silence her somehow, or kill her? Why play a stupid, risky game? Even by Bellatrix's standards it didn't entirely make sense.

Without warning, Hermione felt a rapid sensation of heat emanating from the pocket of her jeans. Feeling sick at the realisation of what it was, she turned away from Harry and Ron under the pretence of taking a moment to herself, knowing they wouldn't disturb her out of respect for her privacy. Drawing out the partner Galleon to the one she had given Bellatrix, she read the time and the date:

_14.30. 07.03.98_

Tomorrow. Was Bellatrix actually serious? There was no way she was going to meet her after everything she had done. Dobby was dead because of her! Feeling rage within her, Hermione wanted to throw the coin away, bury it in the sand so she wasn't ever tempted to go back. But she couldn't for some inexplicable need to know whether Bellatrix was toying with her. There was no way she would go to the meeting tomorrow, but in the future when she had calmed down, she decided she might. That way at least she might gain some answers.

Despite everything that had happened, she still wouldn't tell Harry and Ron about the apparent connection between herself and Bellatrix. She had a feeling that merely mentioning Bellatrix name at the moment would cause Harry to fly into a rage, for any anger she had undone in him when she described how Bellatrix had confessed to her that she had not been responsible for Sirius's death, (and considering the real culprit was Voldemort which Harry found more than easy to believe) was now back with a ferocity, as Harry would be seeking vengeance for the elf that he had considered his friend and saviour.

No. For now, Hermione would continue to handle this alone. Tomorrow she would not indulge Bellatrix, but should there be a future request, she would attend. Not for her own sake, but for Dobby's, because should the chance arise, Hermione would be more than willing to make her feelings perfectly clear. She would go with the intention of hurting Bellatrix if she should try and attack her, and if needs be, she would do anything to chase retribution for Dobby.

_Whatever it takes, Hermione._


	16. Chapter 16

Thank you for all the reviews as always. I really struggled to get this chapter exactly how I wanted it, and it's slightly lengthier than planned, mainly due to some last minute entire blocks of text I deleted and rewrote. So... hope you like! **  
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**greeneleka-** Well read on and find out. ;)

**Whurmy-** Believe me, I really didn't want to. When Dobby died in the book/film I was absolutely devastated and cried my eyes out but I didn't see any way around it for the fic, I'm afraid.

**deedeex912-** No worries, always happy to answer questions. :) There will be more flashbacks, they're not in every single chapter but there are many more to come so you don't need to worry on that front. I agree, they definitely help to explain why Bellatrix is the way she is and in my opinion they make the whole situation more believable.

**Cobrastryke-** Sorry... can't help the cliffhangers! I actually didn't think the last one was too bad considering some of the ones I've had, hehe.

**xt828-** It's Date/Month/Year. I totally forgot about how some people prefer it the other way around. According to the last chapter, Hermione is saying that she will not meet Bellatrix the first time, but will see her in the future. She is going prepared to hurt Bellatrix if she needs to, but not to attack her without cause. I take your point about Harry being closer to Dumbledore and McGonagall, however, I would say that he still thinks about his parents. In this case it's not that Harry is upset about his mother's death, he's just reminded of her by the fact that Dobby has died too. Does that make sense? In any event, I still imagine that he would still get upset about his parents sometimes, if only because it's natural, (he is at the very least curious/intrigued by them, like when he keeps going to the Mirror of Erised in the Philosopher's Stone, after all) even if other deaths such as Dumbledore's do affect him far more. That's just my take on the situation though.

**aoxomoxoa-** Thank you very much. :) Yeah I've done a crazy amount of research... the books live by me whenever I'm writing this fic, haha.

**OpheliaBlack-** I'd answer that but you may as well just read this chapter and find out. :P

**Cyb3rFr0g-** I'm happy you think I have the right balance of emotion and logic, I really do analyse every little thing that I write, sometimes to the extreme! Thanks for the feedback. :)

**ScOut4It**- Hopefully this chapter will explain more about Bellatrix's thoughts for you, but Bellatrix being impossible to understand contributed to the fic's name. It's just all seems impossible, you know? The situation, the love, the switching sides in the war... everything. Thank you for your thoughts. :)

* * *

_I think I'll change my ways_

_So all your words get noticed_

_Tomorrow's a brand new day_

_Forty Foot Echo, Brand New Day_

* * *

_**16.**_

True to her word, Hermione had not gone to see Bellatrix the next day, ignoring the burning coin and placing it into her beaded bag until the time of the offered meeting had passed. She spent the coming weeks recuperating from the experience with Harry and Ron, mulling over the information they had learned regarding wands from Ollivander (who had also been rescued from Malfoy Manor, along with Luna) and speaking to Griphook about Gringotts. Even after making a deal to give him the sword of Gryffindor, albeit after they had used it to defeat the Horcruxes, Hermione had an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, worried that their eventual plan to turn her into Bellatrix was going to go horribly wrong.

Her nerves weren't helped by the fact that Fleur and Bill kept fussing around, making it impossible for her to think half of the time. Although she appreciated the additional company, she really could have done with a great deal more peace than she was currently granted in order to consider how she felt towards Bellatrix after the events at Malfoy Manor, and whether Bellatrix would attempt to contact her again. She couldn't see how Bellatrix could possibly intend on aiding the Order after her behaviour, but then she still didn't understand what the whispered words were about. It was for this reason that eventually, Hermione came to accept that the only way she would finally have clarity would be to meet with Bellatrix once more.

It was in fact nearly a month after the original time and date offered by Bellatrix that the Galleon burned again, and a second meeting was offered, now reading:

_04.00. 02.04.98_

Logically, Hermione assumed this would mean four a.m. considering that she was using a twenty-four hour clock. Apparently, despite her asking Bellatrix to choose daylight hours, the witch had completely ignored her request. _Typical._ Nevertheless, it probably wouldn't make too much of a difference now that they were staying with Bill and Fleur and there was immense protection surrounding Shell Cottage, as everyone slept at night and there was no necessity for lookouts as there had been when it was just Harry, Ron and Hermione.

Hermione was determined not to spend the rest of her life dreaming of Bellatrix, and aching within her heart to such an extent that she couldn't make sense of her own thoughts in the way that she could before. No longer could she easily distinguish between right and wrong, the light and the dark. She accepted that Semper Amor did exist between them, for as the days went on she steadily felt emotionally worse. However, she refused to allow the ancient magical love to become a factor in the war against Voldemort. Bellatrix would have to pledge her loyalty one way or the other, and if she did promise to help battle against Voldemort then Hermione wasn't going to just accept it at face value; she would request solid proof of some sort.

_I'll play to win, _she vowed.

Although she intended to meet Bellatrix, Hermione was more anxious than she had thought possible. Her fear mainly stemmed from the fact that she no longer had her own wand and was forced to currently use Bellatrix's. As she had not won it from the talented witch it failed to work in the way that it should for her, which did complicate matters if she needed to defend herself against Bellatrix. There was always the possibility of stealing Draco's which Harry was currently in possession of, but Bellatrix was still likely to ask for her wand to be returned from Hermione. Whether Voldemort was aware that they had stolen several wands from his Death Eaters Hermione couldn't say for certain, but she was pretty sure that had he made this unpleasant discovery he would be even more furious.

Hermione had decided that she would have to go through with the meeting offered, despite the risks. Maybe she would be forced to attempt to kill Bellatrix, or else harm her if the need arose for her to escape. Whatever happened, she considered the rage she held inside to be so strong at the moment that it would sufficient enough to defend herself successfully at the very least. Righteous anger was _nothing _compared to how she felt now, for Dobby, for Harry, for Ron and every other person that had been affected by Voldemort, his followers and every evil belief that they stood for.

* * *

_**March 1998**_

"_Cissy," Bellatrix whispered, dragging her sister through the door of her own bedroom, and shutting it behind them. Lucius and Draco were currently outside in the courtyard, no one else was in the Manor (including the Dark Lord who was off on an unknown, private mission) and this was probably the best opportunity Bellatrix was going to get to speak to Narcissa privately. "I need to borrow your wand tomorrow."_

"_My... my wand?" Narcissa stuttered, looking confused. "Why?"_

"_There's something I need to do," Bellatrix said urgently, eyes large and wide, her hands holding onto Narcissa's. "Please."_

"_The Dark Lord has forbidden us to leave here," Narcissa hissed in disbelief. "You can't even go to your own home at the moment, Bella! If the Dark Lord finds out then he'll kill you."_

_Bellatrix shook her head. "I'll be careful. But I don't have a wand, and I need one. Please, trust me."_

_Narcissa looked horrified. "What are you going to do? You're not thinking of going after Potter yourself, are you? We have no idea where he is and even if we did, it's unlikely you could take him on alone!"_

_Bellatrix blew out a breath in annoyance. "This is nothing to do with Potter! Well, not directly, anyway." _

_She meant what she said. The skirmish at her sister's manor had led Bellatrix to realise that she had to think about what she was doing. Now that she had __seen for herself exactly how Potter fought and the support he had, she realised that this was no longer just a child they were up against. It scared her, to wonder of Potter's powers. At the Ministry nearly two years previously she__ had not had the opportunity to witness his talents due to her Lord's possession of her, and she had always assumed it was merely down to Dumbledore. Again, on the night that Dumbledore died there had not been the opportunity for a proper, thorough duel, and at Malfoy Manor too, though admittedly no one but a talented wizard could have got themselves out of that, even considering the help from the elf._

"_Then what is it?" Narcissa asked, frowning. She searched Bellatrix's face in an attempt to discover what was going on, and Bellatrix quickly schooled her features into a picture of blankness._

"_I can't tell you," she said ominously. "If the Dark Lord were to penetrate your mind...you... well you just have to trust me."_

"_Bellatrix, I am more than accomplished in the art of Occlumency," Narcissa said, firmly gripping her hand now. "You cannot expect me to hand over to you the only weapon of defence that my family currently have for an unknown reason that may only result in us getting into an even more perilous position than we already are; which as you know, is saying something!"_

_Bellatrix sighed. Apparently, Narcissa was not going to give up her wand without a fight or without further information. "Your skills in Occlumency do not equal the Dark Lord's in the area of Legilimency, Cissy."_

"_When it comes to protecting my family I will more than match the Dark Lord," Narcissa sneered, and there was a sudden fierceness in her eyes that Bellatrix was sure she had never borne witness to before. Despite this, she could not bring herself to be angry with her sister, for she was smart enough to realise that although Narcissa loved her family and she would go to great lengths to protect Draco, she still loved and cared for Bellatrix herself at the same time. Sometimes, it made Bellatrix wonder if Narcissa was just as insane as she herself was. _

"_I... I believe that the Dark Lord has reason to fear Potter, now more than ever. " Bellatrix said, feeling disgusting for her betrayal, but continuing all the same. She would allow herself to because of Semper Amor, even if she couldn't tell her sister about her darling little Mudblood yet. To carry out her intentions she would tell Narcissa as much information as she felt she could, (and the little she knew) but without risking too much and putting her sister in jeopardy. "I do not believe he has been simply hiding all of these months; I think he has been doing something to vanquish the Dark Lord." She paused, considering her next words. "It may be time for us to... re-evaluate our priorities."_

"_You have always claimed to be faithful to the Dark Lord, you have never once wavered in your loyalty towards him," Narcissa said suspiciously._

"_I have a feeling that this time his defeat may be more permanent," Bellatrix confided, and she held up a hand to stop Narcissa interrupting. She didn't know exactly what had been happening, but from what she had seen inside of Hermione's head, there was reason to fear Potter. She hadn't tried hard enough__ to break through the Occlumency barriers that her little one raised to prevent her finding out precisely what she was doing with Ron and Harry, because she wasn't sure she really wanted to know. Moreover, she didn't want the younger witch to realise that she was attempting to penetrate her mind and to consequently change her plans__. "Do not ask me why I believe this, because it's complicated. But needless to say, I do not want to spend the rest of my life in Azkaban for a cause which has proved fruitless."_

_Narcissa gaped. "What you're saying is... you are turning on... our Lord?"_

_Bellatrix swallowed. "No. Not in here, where it counts" she said, raising a hand to her heart, and forcing herself to face Narcissa directly. Even if she did betray her Lord, she wouldn't be able to stop believing in him with just a flick of her wand. It was too complicated, longwinded and risky to explain for the moment though, and so Bellatrix simply said, "But I love you, Cissy. And Draco, I suppose. Lucius can go and fuck himself, but know that from now on, my concern is for you. Can you accept that?"_

"_No, because there's something you're not telling me, and you still haven't answered my question," Narcissa said, although her tone was softer after Bellatrix's admission. "Why do you need my wand?"_

_"If I told you that I was going to meet someone who can give us help to give us second chance when this is over, would that be sufficient?" Bellatrix asked hopefully._

"_It would if you weren't you," Narcissa sighed. "What happened to the Bellatrix who loved the insanity of war and bloodshed? Who quite happily rejects our own sister for falling in love and feels no guilt over it, as I do? How can you proclaim to love me when you so hate Andromeda?"_

_Love, Bellatrix thought, focusing only on that one word. Now she was the one in love. A ridiculous, abysmal, horrendous love that entrapped her so completely that she couldn't function. Her dreams of bloodlust and service to the Dark Lord had been absent for a while now, and after he performed the Cruciatus Curse on her for the first time, she realised that even if he did win, she would always be nothing to him. The power would always be his and never hers. With Hermione though, her darling Mudblood, she could have all she had ever wanted. Control. Domination. She would be the Mistress in charge, finally._

_But she couldn't tell Narcissa that. Not yet. "That Bellatrix doesn't exist anymore," she said as a substitute for the truth. "My priorities have changed." She drew her hands from Narcissa's and for the first time in almost eighteen years, she warmly enveloped her into a hug. _

_Apparently she had made the right decision, for Narcissa pulled away and said reluctantly, "Fine. Take the wand."_

_Inwardly, Bellatrix cheered silently. It was debatable whether Hermione would meet her considering what had just happened, but if that was the case then Bellatrix would allow her time to calm down before suggesting another. Perhaps another month and she would be ready for them to meet once more. Bellatrix was sure that she could persuade Narcissa to give up her wand for a second occasion should she say the right thing and catch her in a good mood. It was a relief, really, after facing the Dark Lord's fury to know that things might not always have to be this way. One day, she could have all the power she had ever desired, as long as she played her cards right._

* * *

Sneaking out of Shell Cottage was easier than Hermione imagined it to be. Harry had slept deeply (no doubt helped by the Firewhiskey Hermione had poured both him and Ron before bed) and Draco's wand was at his side, lying on the cabinet. As quietly as possible, Hermione had grasped the wand and snuck out of the cottage, Disapparating the second that she exited the wards that surrounded the property. She didn't want to hang around and risk someone getting up and seeing her wandering outside, especially with no valid reason.

This time when she arrived at Bellatrix's home, Hermione didn't want to enter in the same fashion. Bellatrix would be on her guard and so it was pointless to try and sneak into the home; on this occasion there would either be greater protection in place or Bellatrix would be expecting her to try a more convoluted means of confronting her. For this reason, Hermione simply knocked the front door not even wearing the Invisibility Cloak, and waited for Bellatrix to open it.

The instance that the door clicked open, Hermione pushed her way inside and with a wave of her wand, rendered Bellatrix incapable of moving. The Body-Bind Curse always was a useful spell to know. Shutting the front door, Hermione took the wand that Bellatrix held in her hand from her, and then moving backwards, she stated without even a greeting, "I'm going to unfreeze you now, ok? But don't even think about trying to hurt me, because I won't hesitate to kill you."

Hermione gave Bellatrix a few seconds to take in the instructions, before she flicked her wand once more, and Bellatrix stumbled forward, getting used to movement again. She looked shocked that Hermione had attempted such a curse and had disarmed her of her wand, perhaps even seeming slightly afraid judging by the way her pupils were dilated.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Bellatrix protested. "I just wanted to talk to you, like we planned."

Hermione laughed wryly, pointing her wand at Bellatrix. "Like we planned before you killed Dobby, you mean?"

"Dobby?" Bellatrix frowned. She looked confused. "You mean that demented elf who used to belong to Narcissa? The one that turned up at her manor the other day?"

"Oh but of course, you're not going to care about an elf, are you?" Hermione exclaimed, mocking Bellatrix. "Why bother to learn his name even before you stuck a knife in his chest you vindictive, evil BITCH!"

Bellatrix stared at Hermione, eyes wide. She didn't appear to believe what she was hearing, but there was no sudden flash of anger, just an expression of shock. Her hair was wild and untamed, falling around her face, and she looked tired, prominent bags under her eyes. "I didn't... what?"

"You threw the knife when Dobby Disapparated with us," Hermione snapped. "And now he's dead! Because of _you_."

"I..." Bellatrix paused. "That wasn't my intention; I was just frustrated at the fact that you were leaving."

"_Escaping_, more like!" Hermione thundered. "How would you feel if it was your elf, Bellatrix? If someone had killed Lemmy?"

Bellatrix cleared her throat. "Well... I would be a little annoyed, yes."

"That's it? You would be _'a little annoyed' _and nothing else? I thought you cared about Lemmy? She's the one creature in this world that you don't actually torture, anyhow!"

"Of course I care about Lemmy, but she's still just a sodding elf! It's not really about that though, is it? It's about the fact I tortured you!" Bellatrix said, and Hermione could see in her expression that she was becoming riled.

"Partly, but it's also because YOU KILLED DOBBY!" Hermione yelled. Her voice breaking, she added, "Do you have any idea how much he meant to us? We_ loved_ him."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. It was obvious to Hermione that despite the fact she had shown herself to be capable of love, she still wasn't able to entirely comprehend that others felt it. She was so consumed in her own little bubble that she failed to realise that her actions had consequences for others, and that a moment's irrationality on her part could lead to a lifetime of heartache for another. Nevertheless, there was no way that Hermione would be able to teach her how to empathise for others in a single day, for it was something that she would have to learn gradually over time.

"Stop shouting. I thought you came here so that we could have a conversation," Bellatrix said, sounding irritated.

Hermione ignored her, and decided at the very least she was determined to make Bellatrix understand that she'd done something entirely terrible and hideous. "What if it had been me, Bellatrix? What if you had killed _me_?"

"I didn't though," Bellatrix said pointedly, shrugging her shoulders. "What's the point in discussing something that didn't happen?"

Hermione stared, holding her wand out and shaking her head, unable to speak. She truly didn't have a clue what on earth was going through Bellatrix's head half of the time. Most people would have apologised and begged for forgiveness, but she was stood as still as the statue of Muggles at the feet of wizards and witches that currently occupied the Ministry of Magic. There was nothing from her, no expression on her face, no tears or pleading words. It sickened Hermione inside, twisting at her stomach. How had she ever fallen in everlasting love with someone like the woman before her?

She wanted to scream and shake Bellatrix to make her understand exactly what she had done. She didn't seem to comprehend the fact that a few moments of pleasure or venting anger on her part could result in an individual's suffering. And Hermione wasn't even bringing herself into the equation; she was wondering about the rash, impulsive decisions that Bellatrix had likely taken over the years when inflicting the Cruciatus Curse or similar pain-inducing curses on her poor unsuspecting victims. She just didn't think about the damage she had caused for she was too selfish.

Bellatrix didn't move for a few seconds longer, and stood surveying Hermione. "Please, lower your wand. I do not want to fight, merely to talk."

Hermione, who hadn't thought to check Bellatrix's person before unfreezing her (and considering the bond between them it wouldn't exactly have been a comfortable experience anyway) was more than wary. "How do I know that you're not going to have another knife stuffed inside your dress, ready to launch at me?"

"Because I don't want to kill you," Bellatrix said quietly. "And you've taken my wand... Narcissa's wand, I mean, although you have mine too, I assume?"

"This wand is Draco's," Hermione said, and she lowered her wand slightly. "And yes, we have your wand, but I didn't think it was a good idea to bring it tonight as it probably wouldn't work too well against its' actual owner. Narcissa allowed you to borrow her wand?"

"Smart move," Bellatrix said, and it almost sounded like she was praising her. "Yes, I loaned Narcissa's wand. Considering it is the only wand our family has at the moment, she was extremely reluctant to give it to me. I don't suppose you have my broomstick with you though, do you?"

"You're kidding, right?" Hermione said in disbelief unable to comprehend why Bellatrix would think that now was the right time to bring up the subject. "I don't even have your broomstick myself anymore. When the Snatchers brought us to you it was left inside our tent, which we also haven't been able to recover through fear of ending up caught by your _stupid _Lord."

Bellatrix flinched, but otherwise remained silent.

"You're not defending him?" Hermione continued, ranting on. She knew she should stop provoking Bellatrix but she was furious with the older witch for so many things that she just couldn't stop herself. "What, is this a ploy to make me believe that you're on our side now?"

There was something that was different about Bellatrix, but Hermione couldn't quite figure out what it was. She seemed less abrasive for definite, but there was something more than that. Has she been anyone but the insane Death Eater Hermione knew her to be, she would say that Bellatrix seemed softer. No though, that wasn't quite it. There was weariness within Bellatrix that Hermione had never thought to be possible. She was always so up, hyper, or contrary to that, quiet or childish. Here, she wasn't any of these things, she was just so... normal_. Unfeeling and quiet, but normal._

"So you're angry at me because of the elf?" Bellatrix said finally, ignoring Hermione's question and answering with one of her own.

"Dobby. His name was Dobby," Hermione spat. "At least have the decency to speak his name!"

"Fine, Dobby," Bellatrix said dismissively. And then, in a gentler voice she added, "Is that why you're furious? Because I have a feeling it's more than that. I tortured you..."

"Yes," Hermione said, trying not to allow her emotions to override her and to stay calm, though she knew it was basically a futile attempt on her part. "And also because, oh, I don't know, after torturing me for information you decided to summon _Him_!"

"I've tortured you before," Bellatrix stated, truthfully, disregarding Hermione's last issue.

"Not since you accepted the connection between us," Hermione countered, unable to speak the words Semper Amor aloud. "When you first captured me, it was because you hated me and everything I stood for. Now though, you're supposed to _love_ me whether you want to or not, at least enough not to hurt me the way you did. But maybe you just like to torture for fun! Maybe you don't actually _care _about who wins the war, this is just one giant mindfuck of a game to you."

Bellatrix started, remaining silent. Her dark eyes remained focused on Hermione, but she didn't move a single muscle.

"When I started really caring about you, I thought maybe you cared about me too. I was so _wrong_," Hermione continued, becoming even more frustrated. She wiped away the tears that had began leaking out of her eyes, knowing that she was crying through anger and wishing that she had the guts to just throw the Cruciatus Curse at Bellatrix to see if revenge made her feel better.

Deep down, she knew that it wouldn't. Hermione was not the sort of person who could turn her pain onto others, or at least, not physically. Bellatrix was of a different mould to her; she could use the Dark Arts against others and feel like she had accomplished something. On the other hand, Hermione simply felt like she was committing a crime not only against the person, but herself too. As a Gryffindor she had to be brave enough to withstand pain and hurt without retaliating just for the sake of it. What would be the point when she would only feel immense guilt for her violent actions?

"Don't cry," Bellatrix said, her cheeks flushing as though she were embarrassed by the fact that she was witnessing Hermione breakdown from her position several metres away. "Please, don't. The truth is that the Dark Lord said I should torture you for information, but from the moment I first met you I realised you would give nothing away, no matter what I did to you. I was only ever torturing you for my own amusement, until you started getting under my skin. And then I became angry and... and so much more."

"What... what do you mean?" Hermione asked, her voice trembling.

"I care about you. I think about you all the bloody time. I don't want to, but I do," Bellatrix sighed, shutting her eyes briefly, and rubbing her forehead as though she had a headache. "Just _please_, believe me when I say I'm on your side now. Not... not the Order's or even the Dark Lord's... just yours."

"You expect me to believe you after what you did to me?" Hermione asked, wrenching up her coat sleeve and thrusting it towards Bellatrix, not caring that her wand now pointing away from the other witch. "You basically tattooed_ Mudblood_ onto my arm. It's scarred." She had tried desperately to make the inscription fade, but no healing spell had fixed it yet. Hermione assumed that Dark magic had been used to cause it, meaning that there was either no way of healing it or if there was, it would be a very specific way that she had yet to learn.

"I had to act that way in front of the others, but I told you at the time to trust me. Remember? And that'll... that'll heal though," Bellatrix insisted, inclining her head towards Hermione's arm. "If you give me back Narcissa's wand then I will rectify the..."

"I'm not a fool!" Hermione interrupted, not believing Bellatrix. "The moment I give you back the wand you'll curse me like the last time we met. There's no way I would trust you after what you did. You went too far, Bellatrix."

"Admittedly, I may have slightly overdone it..." Bellatrix said, her voice trailing off.

Her words would have been laughable if the pain Hermione had been subjected to hadn't been so fresh in her mind, but as it was, she couldn't bring herself to even give a sarcastic smile. Instead, she said seriously, her voice filled with pain, "You're so messed up. I... I don't even know what to say to you."

"You don't understand," Bellatrix said, and she was almost,_ almost_ pleading. "I wasn't going to hurt you, Hermione. I was going to choose the right moment when not everyone's eyes were on us, perhaps send them down to the cellar to interrogate Potter and Weasley, and Disapparate with you to my home to keep you safe. Then I'd return to Malfoy Manor and feign that you had grasped my wand meaning I lost you."

"And how exactly were you going to have claimed to have gotten back to Malfoy Manor and make it seem even half true?" Hermione said, thinking Bellatrix's supposed plan entirely ridiculous. It didn't even make sense.

Bellatrix shrugged. "I was going to summon Lemmy and return with no wand. I'd have trusted you with my wand, you know."

"And what about Harry and Ron?" Hermione asked, dreading the answer but needing to hear it for herself anyway.

"They weren't my concern," Bellatrix admitted. "I didn't... I didn't have much time to figure out what to do. I just didn't want anything to happen to _you_. And then they had to go and ruin my entire plan by interfering to save you when I would have kept you safe! By the time the Dark Lord had arrived after we summoned him, you would have been safely back in my home and I would have returned to give the Dark Lord what he truly wanted. He wouldn't have cared about you, as long as he had Potter."

Hermione shook her head in disbelief. "You didn't think I might have a slight problem with the fact that you had just offered up my two best friends to Vol-"

"Don't!" Bellatrix shrieked. "Don't say his name!"

Fortunately, Hermione stopped herself. Her heart racing, she waited a moment, sobered by the mistake she had almost made. Had she gone and said the entire name, there was no doubt in her mind that they would be dead. Even Bellatrix wouldn't have been able to explain why she was in her house with one of Undesirable Number One's best friends; a Mudblood no less. Whether or not she had claimed to intend to take her to Malfoy Manor, there would have been too many questions asked of her. It was just lucky that Bellatrix had been paying enough attention to stop her from making such a dire mistake. No doubt her correction was motivated by entirely selfish reasons, but still, at least she had been on the ball enough to prevent it.

"Accident," Hermione mumbled, cheeks flushing at her error. She felt like an idiot for letting her anger get the better of her. Out of herself, Harry and Ron, she was supposed to be the calm and reasonable one of the group. _Compose yourself and think clearly, Hermione._

"I didn't think about how you would react," Bellatrix said, no mocking tone in her voice, no look of amusement. If anything, she just looked terrified. "I only thought about keeping you safe."

"Why?" Hermione asked.

"_Semper Amor_," Bellatrix whispered. "Remember?"

"I'm surprised you do," Hermione shot back, unable to help herself. "I'm just a _Mudblood_, a_ Mudbaby_, a _Mudwhore_, remember that? I haven't forgotten the things you've done to me. Just because I've been mature enough to forget about them for the moment whilst there are more important issues to deal with, it doesn't mean I'm ok with the way I have been treated by you." _Tell the truth,_ she thought._ Don't keep trying to worm your way out of everything you have said and done to me!_

"I'm not denying that I think of you that way," Bellatrix said, appearing to be choosing her words carefully, as though she didn't want to lie, but she didn't want to admit the whole truth either. "But now, I think of you as _my_ little Mudblood, or whatever you want to call yourself."

"I want to call myself Hermione," she said harshly.

"Then I won't call you Mudblood anymore," Bellatrix offered.

Hermione shook her head. "You don't get it, do you? It's not the word that offends me; it's the connotations behind it!"

"I was brought up to think that it was ok to think that way; to believe that as a pure-blood I'm superior. It's what pure-bloods are taught," Bellatrix said in an attempt to reason.

"Not always," Hermione disagreed. "The Weasley's don't think like that. Ron has never believed himself to be superior to me. He's always accepted me into his life despite me being a Muggle-born."

The fact he had disliked her upon first meeting her was irrelevant; that was nothing to do with her blood status after all, but more the fact that she was an irritating eleven year old at best. She felt a pang in her chest as Ron's face came to the forefront of her mind. If he knew that she was talking to Bellatrix like this, he would be livid. And jealous too, probably. Her cheeks reddened deeper as she thought of what they had shared, and the fact that she was now longing for Bellatrix in a way that she had never longed for him. She had once been extremely attracted to him, of course, but Bellatrix was different. She was always in her sodding dreams, preventing her from getting a decent night's sleep._ A beautiful nightmare._

Her thoughts must have shown on her face, because Bellatrix called her on her declaration, saying suspiciously, "What do you mean 'accepted' you?"

Hermione's avoided Bellatrix's eye. "That doesn't matter."

"It does to me," Bellatrix said stubbornly. "What exactly is the Weasley boy to you? Is he your _boyfriend_?"

"No," Hermione denied, and then deciding to be honest and relishing the fact that it would probably antagonise Bellatrix, she added, "But he could be if I wanted him to be."

Hermione watched as outwardly, Bellatrix began to seethe. She gritted her teeth together and her eyes darkened, her face seeming to transform before Hermione's eyes. Hermione's intention to wind her up had evidently worked, because she looked utterly furious and as though any moment now she was going to attack Hermione. It was most likely a jealous rage, but a little bit of Hermione couldn't help wondering if she was angry at the idea of a pure-blood wanting to be with a Muggle-born. Even if that was the way she felt about Hermione, it was more than obvious that it was a feeling within herself that she despised and didn't want to exist.

Realising that she shouldn't aggravate Bellatrix any further, Hermione added, "I don't want to be with him; I'm just saying that if I did want to, he would want me too. I was just... well I was just highlighting that not all pure-bloods are brought up to hate Muggle-borns."

"Some are," Bellatrix countered, her voice only shaking slightly with anger as she visibly tried to calm herself down, taking deep breaths and clenching her fists to stop them trembling. "I was."

"I know. But you don't have to think that way anymore. Don't you want to change?" Hermione said desperately, hoping that Bellatrix would agree on some level at the very least.

"The entire concept of _Semper Amor_ and it happening between a Pure-blood and a Muggle-born is encouraging me to... rethink my views," Bellatrix said reluctantly, beginning to control her rage. "If it can exist between two different kinds of blood, then it makes me doubt everything I have ever been taught."

Hermione raised her eyes disbelievingly. "Really?"

"I know that will be hard for you to understand. But I have been trying to figure out myself what is going on in my own head, and why I am so determined to betray the Master I have served ever since I was a young girl. And I will, _Hermione_. I know you don't believe me, but I've spoken to Narcissa, and I am prepared to." Hermione opened her mouth to interject, but Bellatrix held up her hand. "Let me finish. I know you will want to see evidence before you believe me, and I am fully prepared to provide that somehow."

"What's the catch?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

"There is no catch," Bellatrix said firmly. "All I ask is that when you decide to inform the others of this that you agree to help my sister and nephew too. They don't deserve to be locked away; they're all but held under duress."

Hermione groaned internally. As if matters weren't complicated enough, she would have to consider what happened to Narcissa and Draco Malfoy too. "I can't guarantee anything, even if I wanted to believe you," she informed Bellatrix.

"Try," Bellatrix said. "Because you and I both know that's the only way this will happen."

"I don't even know if I want this to happen," Hermione said, voicing her greatest fear. "You abducted me Bellatrix, kept me as your prisoner. You did things to me that... that some people would never be able to forgive."

"Are you one of those people?" Bellatrix asked straight to the point. "If you can't forgive me then this whole conversation is pointless."

"I'm not saying that I... that I hate you for it or can't forgive you, but you have to prove to me you've changed. Then I'll forgive you."

"I see."

Stepping forward to move closer to Bellatrix, Hermione made a decision. "If you prove to me your sincerity, then I will do everything in my power to make the others see that you've changed," Hermione promised. "And in case you haven't noticed, I can be pretty persuasive when I want to be."

Bellatrix gave a tiny smile that made Hermione's heart flutter despite her anger. "I'm aware of that."

Hermione sighed. Remembering that she had been meaning to ask Bellatrix about what happened after she had left Bellatrix's manor after being released, she said questioningly "Before... I'd imagine that He was enraged after I left your manor?"

"The Dark Lord, you mean?" Bellatrix asked, and at Hermione's nod of confirmation, she added with a haunted look in her eyes, "He performed the Cruciatus Curse on me. I've never... well I've never been tortured by him before. And aside from Potter's weak attempt at using the Curse on me or when it rebounded on me when I tried to use it against you, I've never had that done to me. It was... it was horrendous. And before you bring it up again, I know I performed it on you at the Manor but Lucius would have suspected something was wrong if I hadn't. It had to be done but I am sorry about that."

Although she pitied Bellatrix, Hermione had suffered too much to provide her with any real sympathy or to readily accept her apology. She wasn't glad about what had happened to her, but she was satisfied that the Death Eater was now aware of exactly what she had been putting people through every time that she cast the Curse. _What she has put me through._ So for now, Hermione would allow her to suffer in silence, because there were more important things to deal with than Bellatrix's first true experience of the Cruciatus Curse.

Realising that time was getting on, Hermione knew she had to leave. She had to work out what to say to Harry and Ron and make them understand that there was a chance Bellatrix was genuine. Although she herself didn't entirely believe her at the moment, if Bellatrix meant what she said about proving herself then that would have to suffice. There was always the possibility that she was lying (Snape came to mind) but it was a risk that Hermione would have to take. As long as she didn't put Bellatrix in the know about anything she could possibly use against them, then things should be ok.

"I'm going to have to go," Hermione said.

Bellatrix nodded. "Can I... can I have the wand back before you go?" Seeing Hermione's torn reaction she added, "Look at it this way, if I curse you now, you know that I'm a liar."

"Fair point," Hermione conceded, and she handed over Narcissa's wand. If Bellatrix betrayed her after all then her life may be over, but at least she'd know the truth. Except Bellatrix didn't. Instead, she slowly reached out and grasped Hermione's arm, pulling up her sleeve. Tracing the wand over the word engraved into Hermione's arm, she muttered under her breath, until finally, the scar began to fade. She continued to do so until there was nothing left but untarnished, renewed skin, and she gently ran her fingers over the healed area before releasing Hermione, the task complete.

"Told you I could heal you, little babe," Bellatrix said, almost as though she was expecting praise.

"Don't expect me to say thank you," Hermione said coldly, though secretly she was heartened by Bellatrix's latest nickname for her._ A definite improvement on Mudblood. _"It's no less than I deserve."

Bellatrix looked angry for a moment at the lack of thanks, but she apparently managed to get her feelings under control as she did not respond. Allowing her expression to go without comment, Hermione gazed back, soon realising that staying any longer would achieve nothing. Moving slowly, she walked towards the front door, ready to go outside to Disapparate back to Shell Cottage to speak to Ron and Harry.

"Wait," Bellatrix said, almost inaudibly.

Turning around, Hermione faced the raven haired woman once again. "What is it?" she said tiredly.

"I..." Bellatrix looked at her expectantly.

"What?" Hermione repeated.

Seeming to have an internal debate with herself, eventually, Bellatrix stepped forward. Grasping her face, she drew their mouths together in a searing kiss, working her tongue inside of Hermione's mouth to intensify it. As before, the effects of Semper Amor caused Hermione to feel as though she were bound to Bellatrix, and the feeling was warmly welcome as expected. Unable to stop herself from responding, (and if she was honest, even considering her anger; she really didn't _want_ to resist) Hermione moaned against the other woman as she pressed harder, deeper. The unhappy feeling within her diminished slightly, and replaced by what felt like hope and optimism.

A couple of minutes, however, and Hermione knew that she really did have to go. Reluctantly, she pulled away. "I really can't stay any longer," she said regretfully.

"Before you go, just answer me this. They didn't touch you, did they?" Bellatrix said, and there was a glint of fire in her eyes.

"The Snatchers, you mean?" Hermione guessed.

Bellatrix nodded. "Yes. I mean... they didn't do anything inappropriate?"

"Not really. Although Greyback did express a desire to bite me," Hermione said, shuddering. Then, wondering why Bellatrix wanted to know, she frowned curiously. She had a strange feeling that Bellatrix had an ulterior motive, and so she watched her, waiting for her to reveal her reasons.

Bellatrix didn't disappoint. She gave a low growl, and dug her nails into the small of Hermione's back. "You don't need to worry, anyhow. I took care of that foul, disgusting animal."

Hermione started, "What do you mean you-"

"I didn't kill him unfortunately," Bellatrix interrupted. "Don't worry; just tortured him, but no matter, there will be time in the future for that."

Hermione didn't even have the energy to form a reply to such a confession, and she didn't have the time to explain exactly why Bellatrix didn't need to kill him. Revenge was sweet, yes, but that didn't mean it was the right thing to do. Besides, it wasn't as if Greyback had actually managed to hurt her; he hadn't had the chance and so there was no need to punish him with death. Bellatrix was right; he was foul and disgusting, but that didn't mean it was right to murder him. She'd be happy if he was just locked in Azkaban until the day he died. Besides, it was sort of hypocritical considering what Bellatrix had subjected her to, and the far worse damage she had done.

Changing the subject, Hermione told Bellatrix, "I'll... I'll contact you when I've spoken to Harry and Ron or if you need to see me again then you contact me." It was time for her to leave; she had been far too long already.

Nodding her understanding, Bellatrix silently walked with her out of the house, and kept walking until they had reached beyond the wards. Having a great deal more clarity about the situation and enchanted with the hope that Bellatrix actually _might_ be serious, Hermione was far more optimistic than she had been upon her arrival. There was still a chance for them. _Maybe._

The last thing that Hermione saw before she Disapparated was Bellatrix's dark orbs gazing at her, even as she swirled into a mass of blurry colours. _Beautiful. Insane, but beautiful._


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks for the reviews my lovelies. :)

A number of events happen in this chapter because as I've said before, there is no point in me re-writing the events of Deathly Hallows.

**OpheliaBlack-** I haven't forgotten about Lucius... I did mention him briefly. But Bellatrix doesn't seem to be a huge fan of him and it wouldn't make sense for her to plead on his behalf too; she loves Narcissa because they're sisters and Draco is half-Narcissa so that's why he hasn't been considered.

**aoxomoxoa-** That's deliberate. Bellatrix knows she can't treat Hermione how she wants to when they're in such precarious positions and Voldemort is still around. Plus, she realises she did something really wrong by torturing Hermione, and I imagine Hermione would defend herself now that she isn't scared of Bellatrix the way she used to be.

**whurmy**- Once more, thanks for making me smile!

**Queen Nan**- Thank you for all your feedback and the love. I see what you're saying about Stockholm Syndrome, I never thought of it that way before!

**Anti-Gravity111**- It's ok, thank you for taking the time to review at all. :) I hope your Grandma gets better soon! Yes, I came up with the concept of Semper Amor myself (though the actual name is real Latin). I wish it was canon too!

**deedeex912**- That's quite a compliment... thank you very much!

**Nenarae-** Hehe, thanks. I totally agree with your comparison, by the way. :P I do update a couple of times a week at least depending on real life and how much partying I can fit in around my crazy work schedule!

**ICouldBeSuper-** I've said it before and I'll say it again... I wish this pairing was in the books if only for the amount of Hermione/Bellatrix love, haha.

* * *

_See me as I really am_

_I have flaws and sometimes I even sin_

_so pull me from that pedestal_

_I don't belong there_

_Haley James Scott, Halo_

* * *

_**17.**_

Although Hermione had succeeded in sneaking back into Shell Cottage and replacing Draco's wand next to Harry, she had not been able to find the right moment to speak to Harry and Ron about Bellatrix. It was all well and good having a reputation as a Gryffindor that she was supposed to be brave, but that didn't make it any easier for the words to come out of her mouth. There was just no nice way of saying, _"I'm in love with Bellatrix Lestrange and she might actually be serious about helping us defeat Voldemort."_ It was laughable even inside her own head to think such a thing. Moreover, she couldn't help debating whether or not she should even admit what had happened between them or if she'd be better off just sticking to the bare facts that Bellatrix was proclaiming to be on their side.

Now that they had worked out every aspect of how to access Gringotts and how to steal another possible Horcrux, Hermione was beginning to get nervous. Being Bellatrix courtesy of Polyjuice Potion and the hair she had left on Hermione was just going to be plain strange. In some ways Hermione wished they could just hurry and do it, but then the rational side of her kicked in and said it was better to have a proper plan. It was just that it tormented Hermione so much that she wasn't sure she could pull it off.

As the date of their planned break-in to Gringotts drew closer and closer, and Hermione was left alone with Ron and Harry for a rare moment away from Griphook, the closest to a perfect opportunity to tell the boys about Bellatrix's claim was presented to her, courtesy of Ron. "What do you think Bellatrix Lestrange is going to do when she finds out you pretended to be her to get into the vault?" he wondered aloud.

"I think she'll be traumatised at the fact that a Muggle-born imitated a pure-blood," Harry stated dryly. "She'll probably go even more insane than she already is."

"I've actually been meaning to talk to you about Bellatrix," Hermione said, and she proceeded to relay Bellatrix's explanation for what had happened at Malfoy Manor, and her pledge to support them from now on. Harry and Ron both stared at her, mouth agape, so shocked that apparently they couldn't even bring themselves to interrupt.

"You can't seriously believe her, Hermione," Harry started, the moment she had told him she had finished talking. "I... how can you believe her? She killed Dobby!"

"I've just explained that she says that wasn't intentional," Hermione said patiently. "It's horrible, I know, but we have to consider the bigger picture here. The entire wizarding world is in the hands of You-Know-Who and Bellatrix who has always been one of his most faithful is saying that she will turn against him." _For me_, Hermione added silently in her head.

"Exactly, Hermione, it's what Bellatrix _says_. You can't trust her!" Harry said loudly, aghast.

"I know, and that is why we have to be willing to wait until she proves it before we allow her to help," Hermione acknowledged. "And please quieten down or Bill and Fleur are going to come bursting in."

"Tell her Ron," Harry said, breathing hard, though he had lowered his voice slightly.

"He's right, Hermione. What happens if we let her know what we're doing and then she uses it against us and runs back to You-Know-Who?" Ron said, agreeing with Harry.

"Then we don't tell her anything," Hermione said simply. "We allow her to prove herself in her own ways, maybe by handing us information and following that up..."

"Information that could be a trap," Ron interjected.

"Well obviously we don't just believe her, we investigate," Hermione explained, trying to remain patient.

Harry stared at her, a frown on his face. "Hang on a second, you still haven't told us how you know all this. When did you even see Bellatrix to discuss it with her?"

Hermione blushed, and reluctantly she recounted the stories of her going to Bellatrix's home on two separate occasions. Harry and Ron stared at her dumbfounded, as she spoke, Harry shaking his head and Ron without blinking. It was now that Hermione started to worry; they were bound to ask questions about how Hermione had managed to get to Bellatrix when nobody else had. They weren't stupid, Ron may lack common sense and Harry may behave rashly, but they were both intelligent young men when it came down to it."

"What aren't you telling us, Hermione?" Harry said quietly. Hermione was surprised, she was sure that a lecture was already due on the risks she had taken. Maybe Harry knew that anything said would be ignored and that it would be futile to attempt to, because normally he would be the first to judge. Or it could be that he was still feeling guilty for getting them into the situation at Malfoy Manor in the first place.

"N-nothing," Hermione said, and her cheeks reddened more.

"Tell us," Harry said.

"Yeah, tell us," Ron repeated.

Hermione sighed. It was apparent that both Harry and Ron weren't going to let this go until she told them what she was hiding, and as she was so rubbish at lying to them, her only option was to tell the truth. She watched them, wondering if they would treat her differently after her confession, wondering if they would still see her in the same light. Above all, she just wanted them to love her as they always had, even if things were a bit weird between them first. Ron was evidently going to be more complicated to deal with than Harry, but as they hadn't actually decided they were together, or even done anything more than hug these past weeks, she didn't see how he could get too angry. Although knowing Ron, he would be likely to.

"Bellatrix and I have a connection," she stated. "It's called _Semper Amor_." Speaking slowly so that she wouldn't have to repeat herself, Hermione explained exactly what it was, and how it had become obvious from their first kiss that something was between them, more than just a normal attraction. Harry's expression was so utterly blank that Hermione wondered if he was hiding his real feelings on the matter. Ron on the other hand could only be described as looking horrified. _As expected._

Harry was the first to speak. "Everything else aside, I didn't... didn't even know you liked girls, Hermione."

"I don't," Hermione said, and then realising that didn't make any sense, she backtracked, "Well, I suppose a part of me must but... well what I'm trying to say is that I just feel this way about Bellatrix. No other girls or women. At the moment, not even any men. Just her. That's the whole point of the ancient magic, Harry. We were both only to love each other in this way. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I'm intrinsically linked to Bellatrix whether I want to be or not."

"Couldn't you have picked someone other than an insane Death Eater to fall for?" Ron sniped. He looked at her sullenly, as though she had just taken away his broomstick or favourite wizard's chess set.

"Are you not listening? I didn't _choose_ for this to happen," Hermione responded, trying not to let him anger her.

"Well, how do you know she's gay anyway? She's probably just messing with you," Ron said, sounding childish.

"The connection works both ways. And whilst I acknowledge she may intend to merely take advantage of the connection and this might be a ploy of some sort, I very much doubt it," Hermione disagreed. "If that is her intention then she's a _very_ good actress. And I also get the feeling that... well that I'm not the first girl she has been attracted to. Don't ask me why... it's just an instinct."

"Even if she does fancy you," Ron said, looking revolted at the thought and not troubling to hide his feelings. "How do you know she isn't just, I dunno, buttering you up so that you give her information?"

Hermione was immediately irritated by Ron's words, but she tried not to let him get to her. One more comment and she wouldn't be able to control her rage, but for the moment she tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was a lot for him to take in, even without considering the way he felt for her. It was obvious what everyone would think if they knew of herself and Bellatrix, because Bellatrix was probably the most hated Death Eater there was considering the crimes she had been convicted of, even if Hermione knew her part in the incapacitation of the Longbottom's to be based on an omission of the truth.

"I don't think it makes sense considering that she hadn't badgered me for information once, other than the time in Malfoy Manor which she has explained. And which now, looking back after talking to her, seems plausible," Hermione replied. _Keep calm. One... two... three..._

"You're an idiot!" Ron screamed, beating Hermione to it and suddenly exploding with rage. "Lestrange has done terrible things, Hermione! She tortured Neville's parents, not to mention that she killed Sirius! She's brainwashed you, and the second you let your guard down she is going to show her true colours!"

"No, Ronald!" Hermione yelled back, no longer trying to curb her anger. "She hasn't brainwashed me, if anything it has been me encouraging her! And Bellatrix didn't do any of what you just said. At the very least I believe her about that... she has no reason to lie! Your mother thinks so too, if you haven't forgotten!"

"Guys!" Harry shouted. "Stop, alright? Ron, just chill out for a second. Hermione, I understand you're upset, but we need to decide what to do about this. Yelling isn't going to get us anywhere."

"She killed Sirius, remember?" Ron retaliated.

Harry's attitude surprised Hermione; she had been so sure that he would agree with Ron and let his fury take over. Apparently what Dumbledore had been trying to teach him for years before his death, that he needed to not act rashly and to listen to others, had finally began to have an effect. Hermione supposed that the main reasons Harry hated Bellatrix in the first place were her responsibility for the Longbottom's mental state and the murder of Sirius, and if she didn't commit those crimes, then she was just another Death Eater to him. Hated, but not despised to the point where he wouldn't want to take advantage and use her to defeat Voldemort.

"We don't know she did that," Harry said, confirming Hermione's belief. "Even your mother doesn't think Bellatrix would lie about that."

"Unless it's a game," Ron said stubbornly, clenching his right hand into a fist.

"I know you're concerned," Hermione said trying to placate Ron and force herself to calm down, still worried about Bill and Fleur confronting them if they overheard anything. "And I think you're right when you say we can't trust her but... well we should still see if she means it. She's concerned not only for herself, but Narcissa and Draco too. I am quite willing to ignore the connection and suffer if we discover she is lying to us. I promise."

Ron remained silent.

"I believe you, Hermione," Harry said sincerely, meeting her eyes.

"Thank you," Hermione said gratefully.

"What about her husband?" Harry asked, and then remembered what Hermione had told him previously. "Oh yeah, she told the house-elf he was an arse."

"Lemmy," Hermione said, reminding him of Bellatrix's house-elf's actual name.

"Lemmy, sorry," Harry apologised.

Hermione waved off his apology, just grateful that at least Harry was being rational. "Ok, well let's talk about this, and tell me what you think we should do..."

* * *

_**February 1967**_

_The Black family motto that had forever been drummed into Bellatrix's mind was simple._

Toujours Pur.

Always Pure.

_It was imperative, Bellatrix knew, that she took the phrase seriously, because if she didn't, her family would not hesitate to blast her off the tapestry. As a Black she had a certain reputation to uphold, especially within the circles of the other pure-blood families. Otherwise, how was she ever going to be considered marriage material? They would look at her as though she were dirt on their wand if she so much as put a toe out of line. Moreover, if the crime she committed was serious enough, then she would forever be an outcast, and nothing was worth that. _

_Was it?_

_Somehow, Bellatrix imagined that having sex with a Muggle-born would be exactly the sort of thing that would constitute being blown from the family tree. Even her own parents would hate her! Not to mention the fact that the Muggle-born in question was a girl. In Gryffindor. Hideous!_

_Except it wasn't, not when Bellatrix imagined it. She imagined snow-white skin, chestnut hair, big blue eyes and a toothy grin that stretched across her lovely face. She imagined budding nipples, a round, perfectly formed arse, and her legs spread wide, just for her. Whenever she passed her in the corridors, the girl, Lara Smith, would stare at her head-on, unfazed by her ruthless reputation, by her notorious name. She had the confidence and gall to look Bellatrix in the eye when so many others didn't. _

_It unnerved her. And turned her on immensely._

"_Cissy?" Bellatrix began hesitantly. "How do you think the pure-blood families would react to the news that two wizards or two witches were sleeping together?"_

"_Huh?" Narcissa said, looking up from her Potions assignment. She smirked. "You mean like a freakish foursome?"_

"_No," Bellatrix said impatiently, not seeing the funny side. "As in... two girls together. Or two boys, whatever."_

_Narcissa frowned as she considered the question, and Bellatrix crossed her fingers that she would not start asking intrusive questions. All Bellatrix wanted was a simple answer. Thankfully, her wish was granted. "I don't think they'd be happy," Narcissa said finally. "I mean, I know most of the wizarding world is ok with it, but you know what it's like for pure-bloods. We have a reputation to uphold, don't we?"_

_Bellatrix knew this to be true, although it couldn't stop her pondering further. What if she could make herself fall for a pure-blood girl? Maybe that would be more acceptable. She never paid attention to the discussions her mother and father had, and usually ignored most of what they told her. Of course, she knew the basics she was required to do; marry a decent, well-respected pure-blood gentleman and have his babies, but that was about it. Never before had she taken the time to see what her parents thought of homosexuality; it wasn't the sort of thing that was mentionable._

"_I suppose. I guess I'm just wondering... do you think it'd be worse for one of the pure-blooded girls to fall for a Muggle-born boy, or a pure-blooded girl?" Bellatrix said, trying to sound casual._

_Narcissa stared. "I think both would result in disownment."_

_Bellatrix swallowed hard, looking away._

"_Is there...?" Narcissa began tentatively._

"_No," Bellatrix said, not even allowing Narcissa to finish the question. "Of course not."_

_Later on, whenever Bellatrix even thought about walking away from Voldemort, she remembered this conversation. Voldemort was the first and only man she had ever felt an immediate connection with and had been inexplicably drawn to. Not in a romantic way, obviously, but maybe that was why she had fallen so hard for him. He was a safe choice because he would never be attracted to her, and no matter how much she loved him and wanted to be with him, it was all purely platonic. If she left him, then she would have to face a life alone (until Voldemort killed her for walking away, of course) or risk humiliation and being an outcast when everyone discovered she was a lesbian._

_In hindsight, being sent to prison for supposedly torturing the Longbottom's into insanity should have been far more of a dishonour to her family. _

_She just didn't see it at the time._

* * *

After much discussion, Harry and Hermione (Ron was still too busy sulking) had agreed on several matters. Firstly, they would tell Bellatrix absolutely nothing. They would not induct her into the Order, they would not tell her of their plans to break into her vault, and most definitely anything Horcrux related. Secondly, whenever they found a suitable time, they were going to force Bellatrix to drink the small bottle of Veritaserum they had or allow one of the other Order members to question her under its' influence and see if she was going to tell them her motives. Although they couldn't rely wholly on this for Veritaserum wasn't fool-proof, it was still going to help. Lastly, they would only agree to vouch for her to the Ministry if need be should the war end, providing she had proved herself.

With these agreements in mind, Hermione felt as though she had a weight lifted off her shoulders for the first time since their entire journey had began. Part of her was tempted to pay Bellatrix another visit, but now that Harry and Ron would most probably be keeping an eye on her, she knew it was not a good idea. Besides, Bellatrix may not have said anything, but Voldemort was no doubt extremely livid at the fact Harry had slipped away from his Death Eaters once more, and was probably plotting yet more ways to get to him or try to draw him out of hiding. Should he discover her bond with Bellatrix, then he would evidently use it to his advantage. Nevertheless, if Bellatrix was going to betray her Master then Hermione was almost certain that she was skilled enough at Occlumency to defend herself against Voldemort's probes. As long as he didn't suspect; Bellatrix was safe.

That was what Hermione hoped, at least. It was impossible to be sure of anything these days, especially if it directly involved Voldemort himself, as nobody really knew what he was thinking about. Harry did to a certain extent, but it was only random flashes that told him what Voldemort was doing; Hermione was fairly sure that if he was wondering about Bellatrix's loyalty then his fury would allow Harry into his mind to be able to see what was going on. And even if she was powerless to do anything, at least she would _know_. Not that it was going to be any comfort if it happened, but it was better than living in constant fear of discovering from anyone but Harry that Bellatrix had been killed.

The day of the actual Gringott's break-in was strange for all of them, but especially Hermione. Looking at her reflection in the mirror and seeing Bellatrix's face staring back at her was plain weird, and wearing Bellatrix's dress that she had taken from the wardrobe in her house months previously, along with robes from Grimmauld Place, meant that she looked just like the real Bellatrix Lestrange. The only sign that she was Hermione was when she looked into her own eyes; they were fearful and nervous to an extent that Bellatrix had never displayed, and it made Hermione wonder if even when Bellatrix uncontrollably showed certain emotions, there was still something inherently in her that allowed her to remain guarded no matter what the situation.

Considering the amount of traps they had to get through (not to mention the Death Eater, Travers, that insisted on accompanying them, or the goblins that they had to confund and use the Imperius Curse on... oh yes, and the fact Bellatrix wasn't supposed to leave Malfoy Manor, something she had neglected to tell Hermione) they were immensely lucky to secure the Hufflepuff cup. Griphook doing betraying them with Gryffindor's sword had been most unfortunate, though in fairness they hadn't exactly been truthful with him either regarding when they would willingly hand over the sword. The only reason they managed to escape was because of the dragon freeing them from the vault; otherwise they would most likely be dead or captured by now.

Lying on the grass as they caught their breath after leaving the dragon, Hermione jerked around as she heard Harry's gasp. Knowing that he was having another vision, she and Ron watched, terrified at whatever it was he was seeing. Hermione had always wanted him to close the connection between himself and Voldemort, but now, if there was the slightest chance that he was seeing what steps Voldemort was taking then it would be useful. Even she couldn't deny that.

Immediately afterwards, Harry explained that Voldemort was in a rage after he discovered they knew about his Horcruxes, and was cursing everyone in sight. His awareness of the trio having possession of the cup meant he was going to visit each of his Horcruxes to make sure they were safe. Hermione comprehended the fact that this meant not only did they have to get moving to locate the other Horcruxes, but that there was a possibility of Bellatrix being in danger too.

After Harry had finished telling her story, Hermione felt that it was appropriate to ask after Bellatrix. If they were going to go to Hogwarts and try and find the last Horcrux, she may not survive to ever see her again. "What about...?"

""I know what you're going to ask me, and I don't know, Hermione," Harry said curtly. "Her and Lucius fled when Voldemort started killing everyone in sight, but whether or not they actually got hit by a curse, I couldn't tell you."

Terror rose up in Hermione's chest. What if she had been injured or killed? Although... wouldn't Hermione sense it if she had been? Wouldn't the longing that she had been desperately trying to ignore for all this time have faded by now? There was so much that Hermione didn't and may never understand about Semper Amor, like why her feelings only came to the surface after she had spent a great deal of time with Bellatrix and why it had even bonded her and Bellatrix at all; so would she really know if Bellatrix was dead, or would she have to wait to hear the news and then her longing would be replaced with grief?

"I know you're concerned, but we need to focus on the Horcruxes now," Harry said firmly, though he spoke more softly than before. "There is nothing we can do for Bellatrix."

Hermione nodded.

Ron huffed, and fixed his furious gaze on Hermione. "Why do you even care? I don't understand you Hermione!"

"Well that's evident, Ronald," Hermione spat, holding back the tears. "Because if you understood me then you wouldn't be asking such a ridiculous question. I've already explained why I care, and I won't do it again; it's a waste of valuable time."

"I just don't see how you can read a stupid book and suddenly come to the conclusion you're in love with a Death Eater who abducted and tortured you. It makes no sense," Ron scoffed.

"Ron, this isn't the time," Harry said, stepping in before Hermione could retaliate. "I know, it's not like that, Hermione, but for now you're just going to have to agree to disagree. There is nothing more important than finding this last Horcrux, do you understand?"

"Yes," Hermione said reluctantly, knowing that Harry was right. Her voice was echoed by a sullen Ron.

Gathering themselves together, they all slipped underneath the Invisibility Cloak and they turned their way into Hogsmeade. And then there were Death Eaters, and they somehow were aware of Harry's presence. After that, everything moved quickly, and the barman of the Hog's Head ushered them all into his pub and into the upstairs sitting room. As they all watched out of the window, still wearing the Invisibility Cloak, Hermione's eyes desperately scoured the streets for any sign of Bellatrix. Unfortunately, no matter what angle she looked from she couldn't see her, and reluctantly after Ron hissed, "Stop moving!" at her she was forced to give up her search. As much as she worried, Hermione realised that she had to focus on the Horcrux search for the moment, and that there was nothing she could do for Bellatrix. Therefore, she did her best to put Bellatrix out of her mind.

After eating (Hermione didn't realise how hungry she was, and she supposed all the time that she barely ate during her imprisonment by Bellatrix had had a longer lasting effect that she had previously thought) they had a brief discussion with Aberforth about their intentions and Dumbledore's secrets. For the moment, Hermione refused to think about in too much detail as there was no time. Eventually, when they managed to drum it into Aberforth that they would not change their minds, he showed them the secret tunnel into Hogwarts so that they could complete the next part of their mission.

Everything was moving so quickly that Hermione could barely take it in. Before she knew it they were faced with Neville, and he was updating them on what had been happening at Hogwarts since he had left and telling them that others were arriving. Nothing he said really affected Hermione or shocked her, other than the fact that they had to practice the Cruciatus Curse on students that had earned detentions. Since when had torture become an acceptable punishment for everyday minor offences like not doing homework? It was horrendous. Not that if she had been in school she would have gotten detention often; she could count on one hand the amount of times that she had been forced to have detention since her first year at Hogwarts (mainly because of Harry and Ron). Then she remembered; she was a Muggle-born. A Mudblood. She wouldn't have even been allowed to attend Hogwarts this year.

Once they had exited the passageway and gone up a flight of steps, they suddenly found themselves in the Room of Requirement. There were what looked to be more than twenty people waiting for them, and after greeting, hugs and more discussions, they learned that one Horcrux they were looking for may be the Diadem of Ravenclaw, which conveniently happened to be lost. Nevertheless, it was their best hope, and so they would have to try and find it.

Hermione and Ron were left alone after Harry announced he was going to the Ravenclaw Common Room to see what the Diadem looked like. Although Hermione understood why he needed to see it so they knew what they would looking for, she was still disheartened. How were they going to destroy Diadem, if indeed it was a Horcrux, when they hadn't even been able to get rid of Hufflepuff's cup yet? They no longer had the Gryffindor sword, so what could they use instead?

There was still an immense amount of tension between them, but determined to focus on the task in hand as Harry wanted them to, Hermione turned to him and said quietly so that no one else would overhear, "I don't know how we're going to destroy the remaining Horcruxes... we don't have the sword anymore."

Ron ignored her, looking ahead vacantly. Hermione was just about to tell at him that now was not the time to be childish, when he gave a shriek of joy. "Hermione... the Basilisk!"

"Huh?" Hermione frowned, not having a clue what he was talking about.

Talking in an excited whisper as though they were best friends once morewith no tension between them, Ron informed her, "Basilisk fangs can destroy Horcruxes, right? And I'm betting that there are still fangs in..."

"The Chamber of Secrets!" Hermione exclaimed, catching on. Then, realising they didn't need anyone else finding out, she leaned into his ear and said, "We need to go now. Come on, I've got the cup."

"Right," Ron said, and he grinned directly at her for the first time since he had found out about Bellatrix. "C'mon then... let's go."

"Where are you going?" Ginny asked, approaching them.

"Gin, we're just going to the bathroom a sec," Ron said hurriedly. "Hermione's not feeling too good."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I'm not an idiot, Ron, I know you're up to something. But what with this being a life or death situation we're in, I'll let it pass. Just go and _hurry up_. Harry will be back soon and he needs you."

With a grateful smile, Hermione squeezed Ginny's arm in thanks as they left. She was grateful to be doing something useful for once rather than just tagging along or following Ron's orders. Granted it had been his idea, but it was nice to feel as though they were making progress on their own rather than just relying on Harry. She didn't envy Harry, not at all, but so often they needed him to achieve things, and helping him without needing him present too was a welcome change for her. More determined than ever, Hermione linked arms with Ron, differences forgotten for the moment, and they headed towards the second-floor girls' lavatory.

_Chamber of Secrets, here we come._


	18. Chapter 18

Sooo, there are a few points I feel it is necessary to mention due to the reviews I've had. As I am following the book version of the Battle of Hogwarts,** the kiss between Ron/Hermione will not take place in the Chamber of Secrets**. If you want to know where it does take place then please read the book or wait until I post it. I'd imagine people aren't overly enthusiastic about this anyhow though, so I won't comment on it any further. :P

Also, in the book, Polyjuice Potion changes the voice of the imposter in addition to the appearance, so please bear that in mind.

This chapter was very difficult to write, so I hope people like it. I'm shattered after editing it constantly so hopefully you lovely readers will enjoy it. Thanks as always for the reviews!

**Vishan-** Thank you very much. :) Yes, I think people sometimes forget that Harry is much more mature than Ron, especially in Deathly Hallows, and that he doesn't react to situations with the same sort of anger that he has previously, such as in the Order of the Phoenix_._

**Whurmy-** If I could work the line, "Bella, darling, find yo bb at the war" into this fic, I would. Genius! Have you thought about writing a crack Bella/Hermione fic? I think it'd be awesome. :P

**ICouldBeSuper-** I definitely agree, it would have been nice to have an openly gay LGBT character in the book. And thank you very much for giving me such praise about being the best fanfiction author, I think there are probably thousands better than me but it is still lovely of you to say so. :)

* * *

_I was blindfolded_

_But now I'm seeing_

_My mind was closing_

_Now I'm believing_

_Nickelback, I'd Come For You_

* * *

**_18._**

Surprisingly, they hadn't seen anyone else on their way to the bathroom. They heard shouts and voices coming from other corridors, but fortunately they seemed to miss everything else that was occurring. Nevertheless, Hermione could only hope that Harry had not run into any trouble, and that everything was going to plan. She knew it was unlikely considering their usual level of luck, but it didn't stop her crossing her fingers all the same.

Even getting into the Chamber had been surprisingly simple; Ron had made a few hissing noises that he claimed Harry had made to get in the previous time, and the Chamber had casually opened right before their eyes. Hermione had been doubtful that Ron's efforts would be successful, but thankfully she kept her mouth shut, as finally on the fourth or fifth try, the entrance had opened. Together, Hermione and Ron used the broomstick they had brought from the Room of Requirement and flew down to the Chamber, wands lit. They spent a few minutes searching the vast area, and after locating several fangs, they placed Hufflepuff's cup on the floor, ready to destroy it.

"You stab it," Ron instructed her. "I've already destroyed one and so has Harry, even if he didn't know what Riddle's diary really was at the time. Even Dumbledore had a turn before he... you know. So it's your go."

Hermione looked apprehensive. "Do you really think I'll be able to...?" She stopped speaking, overwhelmed with nerves.

"You're the most brilliant witch I know, Hermione!" Ron said encouragingly, as though there was nothing wrong between them and they were still happily best friends. "I have faith in you."

Hermione took a deep breath. _I can do this,_ she thought. Ron believed that she could, and he himself had experience of destroying a Horcrux, so he must be right. If he thought that she couldn't cope then he wouldn't have allowed her to do it, she was sure of that if nothing else. Lifting the Basilisk fang she held in her hand, she jumped back as the cup started to hiss, and even shake back and forth as though it was aware it was about to be destroyed.

"Before you do," Ron said suddenly. "You should know it might... well it might show some things that aren't true to mess with your head. It happened to me." He blushed, looked down at the floor, and didn't say anything more.

"What sort of things did you see?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Well it was images of you and Harry... um... you know. Together," He stammered, and by now, even in the darkness, his face was beetroot red. "And You-Know-Who's voice."

Comprehension dawning over Hermione, she decided that the best course of action to take would be to gloss over the moment. Now was not the time to discuss what was and wasn't happening between her and Ron. "Ok, I understand," Hermione said briskly, grateful of the warning and deciding that it was best to just get on with the task at hand. "Get ready."

Lifting the Basilisk fang, she prepared to slam it back down. As though sensing this, a voice boomed from the cup, and then the terrible voice of Voldemort echoed off the walls around them.

_"Hermione Granger, I have seen all you are and all that you stand for. Always having to prove yourself worthy to wizards of lesser skill than yourself, tormented for being the cleverest in your year. You work twice as hard as others yet still aren't good enough in the way that those of purer ancestry are..."_

"Stab it, Hermione!" Ron shouted over the voice emanating from the now smoking cup. "Just stab it!"

Enraptured by the cup, Hermione stared, allowing it to continue. The cup knew so much about her that she had to listen to see what it was going to tell her. Ron would have to wait for the moment; it was imperative that she hear the rest of what Voldemort had to say. She was fascinated by every last word that she was hearing, details of her own life revealed to her unlike ever before.

_"You have been a fool in believing that my servant will betray me... Bellatrix would never consider leaving me. I am her world, and you have been nothing but a pawn in her games, used only for her own amusement." _

Flames shot out from the cup, and from them the figure of Bellatrix rose, swirling around and cackling. Her eyes were deadened though, and there was no emotion within them, drawing her apart from the real Bellatrix. Even Bellatrix in person showed emotion; acting as an Ice Queen had never really been her forté. She was too loud, too hysterical. This figure of Bellatrix had whiter skin, darker lips, and heavier eye make-up. She was just like Bellatrix, but somehow different, and it was confusing Hermione to the extent where she didn't know what to believe anymore.

_"I love my Lord, Mudblood. How could you be such a fool as to fall for me? I could never want someone with blood as disgusting as yours. Why would I, when I have all that I need with my beautiful Lord? What in the world could make me love you?" _

The final question was the catalyst for Hermione; she had heard enough. _Semper Amor_, she thought savagely, and focusing once more, she prepared herself to move. Smashing the Basilisk fang downwards, there was a terrible screeching noise as the cup shrieked, whined and hissed, before there was silence once more.

"I'm surprised," Hermione said, composing herself. "I can't believe how real that was."

"Yeah," Ron said, not meeting her eyes, but bending down to examine the cup.

"I knew it couldn't be... be real," Hermione continued, stammering."He called me Hermione instead of Mudblood." She gave a shaky laugh, trying to defuse some of the tension.

"_She_ called you Mudblood though," Ron said, avoiding the use of Bellatrix's name and trying to sound casual. And this Horcrux actually spoke some truth."

Feeling as though Ron had just kicked her in the face, Hermione blanched. Although she was fairly sure that Ron was trying to hurt her, that didn't make his cutting words any easier for her to hear. It had been hard enough to hear the Horcrux say such things, but from someone who was supposed to be one of her best friends, the pain multiplied. "That's... that's a horrible thing to say."

Ron shrugged, ignoring her.

Refusing to her allow herself to cry, Hermione pinched her arm in a feeble attempt to control her emotions. She was doing a pretty good job as Ron continued to pretend to examine the Horcrux, (most probably so he didn't have to face her) when a thought occurred to her. "Do you think this means that Voldemort knows about me and Bellatrix?" Hermione asked panicking. "If he does then we have to warn her!"

"Probably not," Ron said dismissively. "He can't sense when we destroy them, can we? The Horcrux was just messing with you like I said it would, even if it did tell us the truth about Bellatrix."

"Excuse me?" Hermione exclaimed.

"She's only loyal to _Him_, and deep down, you know it!" Ron said viciously, now turning to face her.

Understanding that Ron was angry, Hermione stepped forward and placed a hand on his arm. Relief hit her when he didn't pull away. Now was not the time for them to fight, and so if she had to kiss his arse in an attempt to make him cooperate with her then so be it. She was angry at the way he treated her but she was also mature enough to appreciate why he was acting like a prize idiot. _Jealousy._ He hated that there was a bond between her and Bellatrix because once upon a time, there had been a bond between them too (even if it wasn't anywhere near as strong). Previously, she had assumed that Ron was the man she would marry and be with forever, having his children and growing old together, but now she couldn't imagine it. The love she felt for Ron was platonic, and although she still thought him attractive, he wasn't enough for her. Not compared to Bellatrix.

"Ron," she said gently, aware that now was not the time to tell him what she was thinking about. "Please, I don't want us to fight." Wrapping her arms around him, she buried her head in the crook of his neck in a companionable gesture. "Can we just get out of here?"

After awkwardly returning the hug, Ron still avoided her eye. However, when he said, "Get on the broomstick then, will you?" it was a softened tone he used, and he pulled her arms around him so that she leant on him as they made their way up and out of the Chamber.

Stumbling with their arms full of Basilisk fangs, they exited the girls' bathroom and made their way back towards the Room of Requirement. They turned around the corner and through yet another corridor, when they heard raised voices and several bangs coming from what they knew to be a dead end to the right of them. After a quick glance at each other, they wordlessly agreed to see what was happening, and cautiously made their way towards the sound. Other than the people they could hear arguing (though as of yet they couldn't make out exactly what was being said) this part of the castle seemed to be fairly quiet. It appeared that most or all of the Death Eaters had yet to find their way in; a fortunate occurrence for Hermione, Ron and Harry wherever he currently was.

"I'll ask you once more, Bellatrix, what are your intentions?" Hermione heard the voice of Rodolphus as she drew nearer. And_ Bellatrix. _She was there with him! Praying that Ron wouldn't confront the pair, she held onto his arm tightly.

"I don't know what you mean," she heard Bellatrix say coldly.

"I think you know exactly what I mean," Rodolphus replied instantly. "Do not lie to me; I know that you were aiding the Auror, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Why else would you send curses flying towards Thicknesse and then flee the scene?"

Hermione stifled a gasp. Was it true? Was Bellatrix actually helping them? She hadn't imagined it to be possible, but if she had acted in such a way then it would imply that she was going to betray Voldemort and had already taken steps to do so. It was unfortunate that Rodolphus had discovered what she aimed to do, but hopefully it wouldn't be too much of a problem as long as Bellatrix kept away from the Death Eaters until they had figured out the best course of action to take. Admittedly, Rodolphus was going to prove to be an issue, but as both her and Ron couldn't see what was going on around the corner, there was nothing they could do yet.

"You are wrong-"

"Shut up you traitorous bitch!" Rodolphus yelled, and there was a sound as though he had slapped her. "Remember Bellatrix, for once it is I who is in the advantageous position, and you who is bound by magic and unable to move."

Bellatrix laughed nastily. "I suppose you're bound to overpower me at least once during the twenty-nine years we've been married. Though I did have my back to you and I didn't even have my wand in my hand so I wouldn't be too impressed with your achievement."

Rodolphus hissed angrily, and there was a loud bang. "If you know what's good for you then you'll shut your mouth,_ bitch_! When the Dark Lord finds out you're a traitor to the cause, you won't be so cocky then."

"You saw wrong," Bellatrix stated. "You are a fool, Rodolphus. When the Dark Lord hears that you have prevented me from fighting he is going to be furious!"

"Oh I don't think so," Rodolphus said, shaking his head. "Not once I have told him about your betrayal. But I am fair, dear wife. I will not tell him immediately; nothing should distract the Dark Lord this evening. Least of all _you_. No, I will deal with you once the Battle has been won."

"And how are you going to explain my absence?" Bellatrix shrieked. "The Dark Lord will want me!"

Rodolphus laughed. "And he'll get you," he said, and the noise of rustling could be heard.

Unsure of what was happening, Ron pulled Hermione behind a statue, so that should Rodolphus exit they would not be seen. From the look on his face Hermione would surmise that he was starting to accept that she had been telling the truth about Bellatrix all along, or at least, that was how it sounded. For Rodolphus to go so far as to bind Bellatrix by magic to prevent her fighting, she must have helped Kingsley. The Death Eaters needed all of their best out fighting, and without a doubt, Bellatrix was the most skilled aside from Voldemort himself.

"Why do you need my hair? Wait, you're going to pretend to be me? Is that Polyjuice Potion?" Bellatrix yelled. "Rodolphus, don't you dare you _FUCKING CUNT!_"

There was another bang followed by Bellatrix crying out in pain. "BE QUIET!" Rodolphus yelled.

Bellatrix groaned, sounding disorientated. "You... you've been planning this for a while, haven't you?"

"What makes you say that?" Rodolphus asked.

"There's no logical reason for you to carry Polyjuice Potion," Bellatrix said, and Hermione could hear the anger in her trembling voice.

Rodolphus laughed. "I forgot how smart you are, Bellatrix." He cleared his throat. "Yes, the truth is that I was going to do this anyway."

"Why?" Bellatrix snapped, sounding as though she was starting to get her focus back.

"Isn't it obvious?" Rodolphus paused. "I know, you filthy whore! I know about you and the Mudblood, Granger!" Rodolphus hissed.

"What are you talking about?" Bellatrix said, now starting to sound nervous. She wasn't the only one; Hermione's heart started thudding even more loudly in her chest, and Ron held onto her tighter, as though Rodolphus knew where she stood and was about to come and attack her.

"Did you honestly think I wouldn't be suspicious after your illogical outburst when I introduced myself to her? You _care _about her," Rodolphus accused. "You actually _like_ her. It's _disgusting_. You've betrayed pure-blood society to such an extent that you cannot repair the damage you have done to our cause."

"Of course I haven't! She's a Mudblood and I hate her!" Bellatrix protested, and even though Hermione knew she had no choice but to lie, she still felt sad to hear Bellatrix deny their love. The irrational side of her wanted to run over to Bellatrix and scream at her to be honest, but she knew that there was no way on earth she could do that.

"Don't lie to me!" Rodolphus screamed, louder than before. "I know, Bellatrix! I know because I forced your pathetic little elf to tell me!"

_One. Two. Three._

"Wh-What?" Bellatrix stuttered. "What did you do to her?"

Rodolphus ignored the question and continued regardless, "You're an idiot, Bellatrix; you were too specific in what you forbade her to do. Whilst you may have told her not to tell me, well, things I am obviously unaware of, you didn't tell her not to tell me other information."

"Like what?" Bellatrix asked.

Rodolphus laughed. "The fact that the Mudblood sent your elf a Patronus asking you to meet her, and, what was the other point that stupid little creature mentioned? Oh yes, _'Mistress Bellatrix only wishes to talk to Miss Hermione and be friends!'_"

Hermione felt sick at the thought of what unimaginable things Rodolphus had done to Lemmy. Was she ok? Was she even still alive? Hermione had suffered at the hands of Rodolphus' temper, so what was the guarantee that a vulnerable elf such as Lemmy would have been able to sustain such an attack? If they had not been about to start a fierce battle then Hermione would have rushed to Black Manor to check on Lemmy, but not only did she not have the time, but Bellatrix was in a dangerous situation at the moment, and she couldn't bear to leave her.

She desperately hoped that Lemmy was safe, wherever she was. The tiny elf had shown so much care for her when she had been held captive by Bellatrix, and risked everything to make Hermione's imprisonment just that little bit easier. Hermione had to fight to hold back the tears at the thought of what Lemmy had gone through, and admonish herself internally for never having made the effort to say thank you to her for all that she had done.

All that she could do now would be to pay attention to the ongoing confrontation between Bellatrix and Rodolphus and be prepared to intervene if need be. There was no way that she was going to let Rodolphus harm Bellatrix in any sort of way without at least trying to defend the older witch. If Semper Amor was going to be the reason for Bellatrix's downfall, then it would be the reason for her own too. _We'll stay together forever._

Hermione focused on the conversation once more. "That's... not true," Bellatrix said, practically forcing the words out.

"STOP LYING!" Rodolphus shouted. "I had to torture the elf to get that much out of her; I know it's the truth!"

"If you've done anything to Lemmy then I'll kill you," Bellatrix snarled. "She is MY property, you bastard!"

"I don't think now is quite the time to be making threats considering your current situation," Rodolphus warned.

"Well, why are you even going to use Polyjuice potion to become me anyway?" Bellatrix asked, evidently realising that she was going to get no more information concerning Lemmy out of Rodolphus. As much as Hermione wished she would press the issue, she was smart enough to realise it would be pointless.

Risking a glance at Ron, Hermione saw that his eyes were fixated on the blank wall of the corner behind which Bellatrix and Rodolphus stood. Despite the fact that Ron usually wore his emotions on his sleeve similarly to Harry, on this occasion it was hard to see what he was thinking. There was a look of intense concentration on his face as though he was thinking hard about what to do, but other than that Hermione couldn't tell whether he was planning to intervene or not. Had they been further back she would have whispered to him, but not only did she not want to risk being overheard, it was also imperative to listen to every word that Rodolphus spoke in case he said anything of use.

"As much as I hate to admit it, the Dark Lord prefers you. He always has, ever since the first time I introduced you. Do you have any idea what that feels like, Bellatrix? To be a respectable pure-blooded wizard who comes second to his insane wife? I am sick of being in the background. I'm the only reason you even know the Dark Lord, and now you have proven that you don't deserve to be anywhere near him!" Rodolphus replied, seething.

"Yet you're going to become me to get closer to the Dark Lord anyway," Bellatrix said dryly. "What an apt solution."

"I'm going to become you during battle, and then reveal myself. I will explain to the Dark Lord that I had his best wishes at heart, for I know him to rely on you. You're right in what you said; he will expect you to be present, and we cannot allow for such distractions. As much as I would rather he need me... there will be time for that in the future once I have inform him of your betrayal and Hogwarts is secured once more," Rodolphus snarled. He gave a sigh before he added, "Speaking of which, I really had better get on."

There was a pop and then rustling, followed by silence.

A groan. _Bellatrix?_

"Oh stop whining; I didn't knock you out for long. Now, I'm going to leave you here," Hermione guessed this to be Rodolphus as the fake Bellatrix, eerily sounding like the true Bellatrix. Then, he added casually, "Oh, and I'll say hello to the Mudblood for you, before I curse her heart never to beat again."

Hermione shivered, and slid back against the wall. If Rodolphus saw her now then chances were she would die. Evidently he planned to deal with Bellatrix later on, and for the moment, his only target was going to be Hermione. It meant that in battle she would have to be careful and avoid him at all costs, because should he be seeking her out due to a personal vendetta, he would be far more dangerous than if he was merely fighting for the cause. As a Muggle-born she was at greater risk anyway, but after the threat, she would be lying if she said she wasn't frightened.

"Rodolphus," Bellatrix said, her voice shaking. "_Please._ You know that I don't beg, but I am begging you now. Don't do this."

"Too little, too late," Rodolphus said in Bellatrix's voice, sounding bored. "Farewell, Bellatrix."

There was silence for a moment, and then-

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER! SHE IS MINE!" Bellatrix shrieked having switched to hysterical mode in just seconds. "COME BACK!"

As wrong as it was, Hermione felt her spirits lift. Bellatrix may have been panicking, but in just a simple sentence she had made it clear that it was Hermione she was loyal to. So worried was she that Rodolphus was going to hurt her that she had proclaimed Hermione to be hers. It was a possessive statement, but then Bellatrix was jealous of anything that belonged to her being compromised by someone else. It was selfish, of course, but it also proved how much she loved Hermione.

As Bellatrix continued yelling for Rodolphus to come back, regardless of her shouts, Rodolphus turned and walked past them, a carbon copy of his wife wearing her clothes and boots. Completely ignoring Ron and Hermione, for luckily he hadn't spotted them, he began running down the corridor, cackling in the same way as Bellatrix did.

For a painful minute or so after, Hermione and Ron stayed silently rooted to the spot just in case he did decide to return, but when there was no sign of him afterward, they exited. Awkwardly, Ron gestured his head for Hermione to go around the corner first to approach Bellatrix. Realising that Bellatrix would probably react better to seeing her than Ron, Hermione handed the Basilisk fangs she was carrying to Ron so that he now had twice as many, and she did as was asked of her, her heart hammering wildly in her chest. This was it; the moment of truth. She was grateful for Ron's presence because when all of this was over, if they survived he would be able to back her up and state what he too had witnessed. Ron may hate Bellatrix and the idea of them being together, but he would never betray her purely for his own gain. He was a Gryffindor after all.

"Bella," Hermione said gently as she turned the corner, and gasped as she laid eyes on the older witch. Her face was battered and bruised, and there was a cut on her lip that was steadily dripping blood. She was naked from the waist up, and the only material covering her was a pair of black panties; Rodolphus had evidently taken it upon himself to wear everything else. A surge of fury electrified through Hermione's veins at the damage Rodolphus had done to Bellatrix when she wasn't in a position to fight back. _Bastard._

"Li-little babe?" Bellatrix stammered, eyes wide in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"Long story," Hermione said, and she picked up the black t-shirt that Rodolphus had discarded. Forcing herself not to look at Bellatrix's body, for she knew it would distract her, she added, "But I heard everything, and I know what Rodolphus is doing. Here, you'll have to put this on for now."

Bellatrix looked frustrated. "I'm bound magically. Can you...?"

"Yes, of course," Hermione said, and at that moment, Ron rounded the corner also.

"Wait, Hermione, how do you know that you can trust her?" he exclaimed. There was a look of distrust in his eyes, and he flittered his glances between the two women, as though he didn't know who to focus on. Hermione was grateful that his hands were still full of the Basilisk fangs, because she wasn't sure if he would have tried to curse Bellatrix otherwise. Apparently he was unable to completely discount his feelings and remain impartial the way that he was required to. Even the fact that Bellatrix was practically naked didn't seem to affect him, such was his hatred for the raven haired beauty.

"What's he doing here?" Bellatrix demanded, and now she too wore anger in her eyes.

Hermione sighed. "He was with me when I overheard, Bellatrix. You can trust Ron, I promise," she said, praying she was right. "And Ron, you can trust Bellatrix after what we've just heard. You know that."

"Well how do I know that I can trust him?" Bellatrix protested. "He doesn't look very happy to see me."

Ron growled, and he took a step towards Bellatrix. "Considering the fact that you're a complete nutter, can you blame me?"

Childishly, Bellatrix responded by sticking out her tongue. Then, ignoring Ron completely, she turned to Hermione. "Just... just release me. Please," she asked, and the mere fact that it sounded like a request and she had asked politely led Hermione to do as she wanted immediately. She only hoped that Bellatrix wouldn't attempt to curse Ron, because that would no doubt complicate matters.

Fortunately, she didn't. After Bellatrix rubbed her wrists and dragged the t-shirt over her head, Hermione felt able to properly face her once more. The t-shirt was so long that it was almost like a mini-dress on Bellatrix, but as Rodolphus was so built there was no shape to it, and it hung like an oversized black bag on the raven haired witch. She was apparently unperturbed though, as other than a look of annoyance, she just accepted that she had to wear it without comment. It was probably because of all the years in Azkaban wearing the same clothes day in, day out, Hermione surmised.

She watched as Bellatrix reached over and picked up her discarded wand from the floor, and took hold of Rodolphus's shoes casting a spell to shape them to fit her own feet.

"He left your wand here?" Hermione asked incredulously, shaking her head at Rodolphus' stupidity.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "He was so preoccupied with abusing me that he obviously failed to notice it fall from my sleeve as he undressed me. He honestly is dumber than a troll at times, though I suppose the Lestranges never were famed for their brains."

"Thankfully," Hermione said, grateful that Rodolphus hadn't had the intelligence to realise how idiotic he was not to check he had left Bellatrix with access to a wand, even if she was restrained. After all, restraints could be broken, especially when it came to magic.

"Why didn't you stop him?" Bellatrix asked finally, once she had gathered herself together, pulling the cloak left by Rodolphus over her as she spoke. "He's out there now, pretending to be me. When he goes around cursing everybody in sight, people are actually going to think it is me rather than an imposter!"

Ron mumbled something under his breath that Hermione didn't quite catch but had the intelligence to realise was offensive. Ignoring him, not wanting to rise to the bait, Hermione focused her attention on Bellatrix and said, "Because intervening would have been too dangerous. Besides, you can't go back to the other Death Eaters now anyway; things have happened and we're not sure what they know."

"What do you mean?" Bellatrix asked suspiciously. "What did you do?"

Hermione shook her head. "I don't have time to explain, and it's not important."

"How is it not important?" Bellatrix said incredulously. "Of course it's important! And why did you break into my vault? More importantly, how on earth did you manage to disguise yourself as me?"

Hermione shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"It's important because I need to know what is going on before we go into Battle-"

"Not if you're on our side it's not," Ron interrupted fiercely.

"In case you didn't hear, I just tried to curse Thicknesse you bloody idiot," Bellatrix spat. "What other proof do you need? My own husband has just left me here, bound, because he has realised my betrayal."

Hermione listened to them bicker, wondering what to do now. From her perspective, she was willing to believe Bellatrix, but others wouldn't so readily listen. Not to mention the fact that there was also a fake Bellatrix running around Hogwarts doing things that Hermione didn't even want to imagine. Until they had managed to warn everyone of who the real Bellatrix was, they would not stand a chance in forcing people to believe them. Even then, in the midst of war, things would be dangerous. Some people may still attack her believing her to be a Death Eater, or merely as vengeance, such as in the case of Neville, for example.

"Ron, stop, please. Bella, you know that I believe you," she said sincerely. "But others probably won't. Incidentally, why did you try and curse Thicknesse?"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "Because of you, _idiot_. Did I not tell you I would betray the Dark Lord for you? Of course, it would probably have helped if I had actually focused on fighting Thicknesse rather than thinking about you at the time, but such things cannot be corrected now."

If Ron had not been present, then Hermione would have kissed Bellatrix for such a confession, even if it was said in an offensive way, for that was Bellatrix all over. As it was, she fought to suppress her desire, and instead expressed only her gratitude. "Thank you, Bella," she said earnestly.

"Yes, well," Bellatrix said impatiently. "As much as I would love to continue this, I need to check on Lemmy."

Hermione's heart sank as she remembered. "Are you going to call her?"

Bellatrix nodded. "Lemmy!" she shouted.

Nothing.

"Lemmy!"

Again, there was nothing.

"LEMMY!" Bellatrix screamed.

There was a crack, and Lemmy appeared before them. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief that was soon replaced by panic as Lemmy sank to her knees. She was covered in marks; scratches, bruises and cuts adorned her tiny little body, and she was physically shaking. Taking a deep breath, Hermione fought to keep herself from vomiting. It looked to her as though Rodolphus had spent a long time torturing Lemmy, and that for her part, she had put up as much of a fight as she possibly could before he managed to wheedle information out of her.

"Mistress Bellatrix," she said feebly. "Lemmy is sorry for the delay, Mistress. Lemmy is not... not feeling well. Master Rodolphus made Lemmy... he made Lemmy tell him things Lemmy shouldn't have. Lemmy is so sorry..."

Bellatrix knelt beside her. Worried that Bellatrix was going to try to punish Lemmy, Hermione gently placed a hand on her shoulder. Immediately she was shrugged off by Bellatrix. "That is not my concern at present, Lemmy," Bellatrix said sharply, but there was no fury in her words as Hermione had expected. "However, I need to know if Rodolphus told you any of his plans?"

Weakly, Lemmy shook her head. "No, Mistress."

Bellatrix swallowed in acceptance. "Ok." She turned to Hermione. "She needs treatment. Where can we...?"

"I know what to do," Ron said surprisingly, before Hermione could even open her mouth. "Kreacher!"

At once, Kreacher appeared, and fixed his round eyes upon Ron. "Master Harry is not here, but Kreacher is to serve him for he is Kreacher's Master," he said in the raspy voice that Hermione had not heard in months.

"You can serve me though, Kreacher," Bellatrix said, and his elf features stretched into shock as he turned to face her.

"Miss Bella is fraternising with a Mudblood?" he said, apparently unable to help himself, despite Harry's instructions to him not to call Hermione the horrible name. Not that it mattered to Hermione; that was the least of her concerns at the moment.

"Something like that," Bellatrix said, and she grinned at the look of utter shock on his face. Then, she schooled her features into a serious expression once more. "I need your help, Kreacher."

Kreacher looked sorrowful. "Master Harry has expressly forbidden Kreacher to help the cause that is responsible for Master Regulus' death," he refused.

"This isn't helping the cause. I just need you to take care of my elf for me whilst we battle," Bellatrix said, gesturing towards Lemmy. "As you can see, she needs treatment."

"Kreacher doesn't know if he should-"

"Well after that, you are free to fight_ against_ the cause responsible for Regulus' death. But you have to help Lemmy first. Take her back home safely for me and use your elf magic to heal her. Can you do that?"

"And Kreacher is free to come back here and battle for Master Regulus then?" Kreacher checked.

"Yes," Bellatrix said, and simultaneously, Ron and Hermione nodded too.

Swiftly, Kreacher grasped a shaking Lemmy, and before anyone could say another word, he disappeared with a crack.

Hermione immediately took charge now that she knew Lemmy was going to be cared for. "We need to... we need to get back to Harry and then we can decide what to do."

"What does that mean?" Bellatrix asked. Ron sighed at the question, as he was apparently so good at doing these days.

"It means that it might not be a good idea for you to fight," Hermione said. "Ordinarily it wouldn't be so much of a problem but with Rodolphus pretending to be you, it complicates matters."

"I will not just stand around watching or worse, hiding!" Bellatrix said, discounting Hermione's words. Then, with a more playful tone, she said with a huge grin on her face, "Besides... the fighting is the best bit!"

Hermione groaned. She couldn't understand how anyone, even Bellatrix, could act like a fool in the middle of such a precarious situation. Granted, she had no idea of the Horcruxes (and Hermione was almost certain of that) but she still seemed entirely unfazed by the fact that all around her people were battling against Voldemort and that this may even be the final Battle between the greater good and the Death Eaters. Had Hermione been in her precise situation, she would have been quaking in her boots; especially considering the fact that she had now swapped sides.

"Let's just get back to the others," Hermione said, as now was not the time to pick a fight with Bellatrix. "If anyone tries to curse or hex you then don't aim to kill if you can help it Bellatrix, just disarm and secure them. Otherwise no one is going to believe you're with us no matter what we say."

"Why would anyone try to curse me?" Bellatrix said innocently, as she walked next to Hermione.

"You know full well why people are going to be targeting you," Hermione said briskly. "Now come on, we need to get back." She sped up, and when Ron lagged behind with so many of the Basilisk fangs, she wrenched some of them out of his arms so that he too could speed up. Not that he deigned to say thank you to her, but then, she had learnt to expect such behaviour from Ron.

"What are you carrying?" Bellatrix asked curiously, and she made to grab some of the fangs from Hermione.

"Don't!" Hermione said. She once again handed the fangs over to Ron, figuring it was better for him to struggle with all of them than for Bellatrix to get hold of one as a weapon. This way she could keep her eyes on Bellatrix and her wand free and prepared for Battle. "Leave them, please. Just listen to me, Bella."

Bellatrix immediately withdrew her hand, and continued walking without any smart comments. Whether this was because she had realised the enormity of the situation they were in, or simply because Hermione had affectionately shortened her name, Hermione couldn't say for certain. She did however suspect that it was entirely the latter, because Bellatrix still seemed to be gazing around and not really showing any sign of stress at present.

As they were about to round another corner, Harry appeared from it before them. Hermione was about to explain what had been happening when before she had realised it, Harry had Bellatrix by the throat and had pushed her against the wall, holding his wand up to her. There was a fierce look in his eyes as though he would be willing to do anything to Bellatrix right now should she provoke him hard enough.

"Harry, let her go," Hermione said firmly. "You don't understand!"

"What makes you think we can trust her, Hermione?" Harry said, his eyes still fixed on Bellatrix's. She had looked threatened for a moment, but quick as a flash that had disappeared, her expression now seeping arrogance and disdain. For several moments she watched Harry as though he was filth.

"Let go of me, Potter," she snarled.

"Give me one good reason, Lestrange," he shot back at her.

Bellatrix allowed her lips to curl into a wide smile. "Because my dear little babe looks like she is about to curse you out of this castle, that's why."

Although Hermione had not been fully aware of her actions, when she paid heed to Bellatrix's statement, she noted that she had her wand pointed at Harry and no doubt wore an expression of contempt on her face to match. Unaware that she had even adopted this stance, and embarrassed to discover it, Hermione relaxed, looking at Harry sheepishly. "Sorry, Harry. I just... well can you let go of her?" She gave a short explanation as to what had happened in the past few minutes, and the actions of Bellatrix helping Kingsley, and consequently, of Rodolphus binding her. Ron reluctantly jerked his head a few times, briefly nodding to confirm her story.

Hermione recognised that it was the love that Harry felt for her that led him to do as she asked, albeit with a look of disbelief on his face. However, he did following this up by stating firmly to Bellatrix, "She is not yours. She is _ours_ until you prove yourself worthy of her, and you show you're willing to support us and the Order further. Understand?"

Bellatrix shrugged, looking entirely bored by him. "Whatever. Can we just fight now?"

"Bella..." Hermione sighed, feeling it was appropriate for her to interject before Harry, Ron, or a combination of the two of them cursed her. "Please, stop."

"Yes, please do," Ron echoed.

"How did you even get in here?" Harry asked her, voice devoid of all emotion. It was obvious that he was trying to keep a cool head, and for that Hermione was grateful.

"Hog's Head pub about an hour ago," Bellatrix said, speaking to Harry as though he were a dimwit. "Did you really think that all the people going in there after curfew wouldn't be picked up on? I followed a couple of them without being found out and watched them enter through a tunnel before doing the same myself. I used a Disillusionment Charm so that your little friends didn't catch sight of me... thought it wouldn't be the best time for a reunion."

If Bellatrix was telling the truth (and Hermione fully believed she was) then that meant the other Death Eaters would soon be here. Hermione didn't feel comfortable asking Bellatrix about what her previous fellows were doing, but she supposed that even if Bellatrix was troubling to hide her presence, that didn't mean she was alone. Although the others may not have entered through the tunnel, (which was quite likely else there would be chaos in the Room of Requirement as the two sides battled to win) every single one of them was probably forcing their way in from the outside.

"Right, well I need to speak to Ron and Hermione alone," Harry told her. Turning to herself and Ron, he added, "Guys, we need to talk about...you know..." Harry stated, and Hermione caught the meaning behind his words at once._ Horcruxes._

"You're right," Hermione replied, knowing that Harry didn't wish to speak about the Horcruxes in front of Bellatrix. "Bella, can you leave us for now? Keep yourself hidden for the moment, and meet us outside the Room of Requirement in twenty minutes or so?"

When Bellatrix nodded her head and walked away silently, Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. She had thought for sure that the older witch would kick up a fuss and demand to know what was going... but maybe she didn't particularly _want _to know? Maybe if she wasn't really loyal to Voldemort anymore and was just here for the fight (and Hermione herself) then the intrinsic details didn't bother her. Hermione wasn't sure of her motivations, but she figured that now was not the time for curiosity. From what she had seen so far this evening, the evidence strongly suggested that Bellatrix was on their side. Or rather, on her side. That was all that really mattered for the moment, and Hermione was determined not to make a big deal out of something that would probably just turn out to be nothing.

"Right, now that she's gone... Where the _hell _have you been?" Harry shouted.

Hermione sighed again. It was going to be a long night, and she could only hoped that they would live to see the sunrise.


	19. Chapter 19

Sooo sorry for the delay, my family have come over from Italy and I've been busy catching up with them! Plus I've been editing this part like crazy, but hopefully after all the work on it you lovely readers will be satisfied, even if you aren't a fan of certain events, shall we say. :P Thanks for the reviews as usual too. :)

Please go to **http:/ / julipy .deviantart .com /gallery/#/d495kyi** without the spaces to check out another drawing for chapter 18 of this fic, by Julipy once again, and please do let her know if you like it. :) If anyone else wants to draw anything for it then as I've said before, just message me and we can discuss it. :)

**whurmy-** Glad I made your day, your review made mine as usual. :P You really are very kind.

**RiZeN xvii-** Feel free to buy me a golden keyboard or whatever other gifts you see fit. :P

**Nenarae-** Glad you like that line... I really imagine Harry to say something like that. Not sure on the house-elf violence front though I imagine it would make fabulous crack fic! :P

**ICouldBeSuper-** I'm saying nothing except keep reading to find out! :)

**lithium1661-** Me too, I'm entirely intrigued by how it works. I'm glad I've gotten you into this pairing, and hopefully you will continue to enjoy. :)

* * *

_It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie_

_The moment to live and the moment to die_

_The moment to fight, the moment to fight_

_To fight, to fight, to fight_

_30 Seconds To Mars, This is War_

* * *

_**19.**_

After Hermione and Ron had detailed in full what had happened to them since leaving Harry, and showed him the destroyed cup, Harry explained how he had learned where the diadem was. Heart pumping, Hermione walked with Harry and Ron back towards the Room of Requirement. On the way, Ron cheered up considerably, something that was down to Bellatrix's absence, Hermione imagined. He was much more light-hearted than he had been all evening, and at one point, there was even a cheeky grin on his face. Unable to stop herself, Hermione smiled. She might not be in love with him, but she did find him completely and utterly adorable when he wasn't irritating her.

"Why can't you be like this all the time?" she said, amused despite the seriousness of the situation they were in.

"Like what?" Ron asked, puzzled.

"You know... easy-going. Laidback. I know that now isn't the time but... well it makes a nice change."

Ron didn't reply to this immediately, but he did blush, pink staining his cheeks. He looked pleased that she had given him a compliment, and seemed to draw a little too much from it, as though there were an underlying inference behind her words. Hermione realised she should probably correct his assumption, but he looked so happy that she didn't want to take it away from him. Despite everything, even considering Bellatrix, Ron was still her best friend whom she loved very much. He was a good person, and she only wished that she could be everything he needed and wanted.

_He'll be ok_ _though_, she vowed. Ron had Harry and his vast family to keep him safe and make him feel better, whereas Bellatrix had none of that. If Bellatrix had been given the childhood that Ron had then maybe she wouldn't have turned out quite so crazy. Fair enough, she proclaimed to care very much for Narcissa and Draco, but they didn't have the sort of relationships that Ron had with his family, where affection was provided tenfold.

"Do you really love Bellatrix more than you love me?" Ron asked gruffly, out of the blue. For once he sounded curious, and not angry like his usual hot-headed self.

"I don't know how to answer that," Hermione said, and she felt guilty the moment that Ron looked crestfallen. Trying to repair the damage she'd done by explaining what she meant, she added, "No, wait. It's not as simple as given you a yes or no answer; it's more complicated than that. I love you, but it feels different to the way I love Bellatrix."

"So you love her more?" Ron pressed.

"It's just different," Hermione repeated. "It's probably because of_ Semper Amor_, I'd imagine, but I can't control how I feel about her. For a while I tried to ignore it, before the connection was properly ignited and neither of us were aware of it. Now though, it's impossible to resist her, as crazy as that sounds."

"How do you know that we couldn't have the same connection if we tried?" Ron suggested, and it sounded as though he was pleading with Hermione to consider it. "I know that we've never really acted on our feelings for each other and we've never tried to be together properly, or even kissed. Why don't we just..."

"I don't see how it'll work," Hermione said, cutting him off, but as gently as possible. "I'm sorry, Ron."

She genuinely was. As harsh as it sounded, her life would have been so much easier if she felt about Ron the way she felt about Bellatrix. There was no danger of Ron ever hurting her, or turning on her, but with Bellatrix she could never be sure that they would last together. Even if they did both survive the war, there would be people judging them and holding a grudge against Bellatrix for her actions in the past. Moreover, they would think Hermione to be insane, or that she was being held under duress, forced to be with Bellatrix for some unknown, hidden reason.

Fleetingly, she wondered how she would feel if she did kiss him. Would it be awful, or would she be pleasantly surprised? It was wrong of her to debate such an action but she couldn't help wondering; Ron had been a part of her life for so long, and this was the first time he had ever truly broached the subject of a relationship with her. If anything, an attempted kiss might help her to check that she wasn't making a huge mistake. After all, the entire reason that Semper Amor had activated had been because of one kiss with Bellatrix. How did she know that she was making the right decision when all logic and sense stated that someone like Bellatrix could never change. Perhaps it was just Hermione, and she was destined to fall in love with anyone she kissed in that way, and Semper Amor didn't even come into the equation. Or was that a stupid, irrational thing to think? _Or wish for._

Hermione tried to concentrate on the conversations around her, with Ginny and Neville's grandmother amongst others, but found that she couldn't focus. It was such a bad time to suddenly be having doubts about Bellatrix considering that they might die at any moment during battle, but Ron had put doubts in her head that she couldn't ignore. And then another horrifying thought occurred; what if she was unconsciously in love with Ron and just forcing herself to want Bellatrix for the sake of war? Rodolphus had already stated how important Bellatrix was to Voldemort, so what if Hermione had just been acting the way she had to force Bellatrix's betrayal and weaken Voldemort? It sounded crazy, but everything about this situation was illogical and improbable. Hermione was used to thinking in terms of facts and figures; she had never been one for changes and luck like Harry.

"Are you ok?" she heard from behind.

She turned to find herself faced with Tonks. _Bellatrix's niece._ "Y-yes," she stammered.

"Really? You don't look alright," Tonks stated, looking concerned. They may not have been close friends, but when they were around each other, they got along well. Hermione had often found herself considering that if she had spent more time with Tonks, she would have come to think of her as an older sister of sorts. As it was, Tonk's career as an Auror meant that aside from one summer in Grimmauld Place where they saw each other regularly, Hermione never got a chance to speak to Tonks other than the odd letter or two before the Horcrux hunt had began.

"I'm just worried about making the wrong decision," Hermione said, a half-truth which was about all she could reveal surrounded by other people. Besides, she intended to state it was related to Voldemort if Tonks pushed for further information (it wasn't really a lie, was it?) except her eyes inadvertently flickered over to where Ron stood, talking to Harry. At once Hermione wished she had kept herself cool and composed, but it was too late, and Tonks had noticed.

"You should tell him how you feel, Hermione. Otherwise it'll be too late," Tonks said kindly, entirely misunderstanding the situation.

Hermione shook her head. "It's not like that. I don't even know if I want to..." her voice drifted off. _How to explain?_

"Well," Tonks said brightly, grinning at her now. "There is only one way to find out!"

_I can't,_ Hermione thought, and then in the next moment, she was considering how terrible it would be if the war ended and she suddenly felt as though she had made an awful mistake and that Ron was who she wanted. She faced him.

Hermione observed Ron's pale skin (so like Bellatrix's) and his freckles (so unlike Bellatrix's). There were parts of them that were the same in that they both had mood swings, and then parts that were different in that they believed in different causes. Both pure-bloods, but both so entirely individual, and Hermione had no idea who the right person for her was. Her heart said Bellatrix, but her head told her that Ron was the safe and sensible choice.

Hermione forced herself to focus on the conversation, but wasn't quite with it. _It's now or never._

Before she even knew what she was doing, Hermione launched herself at Ron whilst he was mid-speech about house-elves, adrenaline coursing through her veins. She was briefly aware as her lips connected with Ron's that he had done the unthinkable and considered the rights of house-elves when before tonight he had barely given them a second thought. For the past six years Ron had been the most selfish of the three of them, and the offhand comment said so passionately was enough to make her want to jump for joy.

The last time she had felt so exhilarated was the moment she realised she had truly gotten under Bellatrix's skin, right after they had shared their first kiss. It was nothing compared to the actual feeling of the embrace and kissing itself, but the aftermath when Hermione felt like she had genuinely achieved something meant a great deal to her. She had been drumming into Ron's head for years that house-elves deserved fairer treatment, but he had never seen their oppression from her point of view. Finally, it appeared that he understood.

Except this kiss didn't feel quite right, because why was she even thinking about house-elves if she was trying to figure out if she had feelings for Ron? This was Ron she was _kissing with tongues_, and hearing Harry's voice in the background, Hermione froze. As she broke apart from Ron, her cheeks reddened as she realised that she had her answer. It didn't feel quite right to kiss Ron, because she wasn't in love with him. As much as she wanted to be, she couldn't force herself to feel something that wasn't there. In the same way that Bellatrix had fought not to love her initially, she couldn't fight to be in love with someone just because it would be easier.

Surveying Ron, she noted that he looked flustered too, but judging by his dilated pupils for an entirely different reason to her. _No,_ she thought, angry at herself. _I didn't mean it like that! _She wasn't an idiot; there would have to be a time when she told Ron the truth this evening that they would never happen. It would be a tough conversation to have, however, and it wasn't right for her to say anything for the moment. If they died, (and that was quite possible) then it would be cruel to tell Ron of her non-existent romantic feelings for him before that. It may even affect his confidence when duelling, and that was something that Hermione couldn't be responsible for. It was best to let him think she was considering it, because she didn't want to distract him from the most important task at hand; destroying Voldemort. Therefore, keeping her mouth shut Hermione looked away, and following Harry left the Room of Requirement, Ron trailing close behind, still slightly dazed.

"Where's Bellatrix?" she asked the moment they had left. "She was supposed to meet us here."

Ron looked startled at her words as though he had forgotten Bellatrix's existence, but otherwise didn't comment.

"Never mind that now," Harry said dismissively, and Hermione was grateful for him ignoring what had just happened. "We need to get the last Horcrux."

And then, everything was moving fast again, flashing and twirling before Hermione's very eyes. They entered the Room of Requirement once more to root through all hidden objects, and Hermione was overwhelmed with the task ahead of them until Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy were in their way. Immediately she realised that he had Narcissa's wand; what wand was Bellatrix using? She thought back to earlier on and realised she had been so distracted that she hadn't taken proper note of what her wand looked like. Suddenly, there was fighting and Hermione watched as a flash of green just missed her. Crabbe had sent the killing curse in her direction, and terrified, she dived to the side.

There was more fighting, and then flames engulfed them. Hermione was vaguely aware of herself shouting something in terror, before Ron hauled her onto the back of a broomstick and they were flying through the air, beasts circling them, aiming to murder. They tried desperately to reach Crabbe through the flames, but although they managed to rescue Goyle and Malfoy, they couldn't save all three. Hermione supposed that she shouldn't really care considering what Crabbe had done, but it wasn't in her nature to take satisfaction in someone's death when that someone had probably been brought up to think the Slytherin way. Crabbe was an idiot, but that didn't mean he deserved to burn in such a horrible circumstance.

In what felt like far too long, Hermione was on the floor outside next to Goyle and Ron. Her heart was still thudding hard, so much so that she barely took in the news that Crabbe had perished in the fire, and then the diadem was in front of her, a thick, gooey substance oozing from it. "It must have been Fiendfyre!" she groaned, and when faced with puzzled expressions, she explained that it was a cursed fire that had destroyed the Horcrux. They barely had time to debate this for when screams and shouts came closer, Hermione was doing all she could to battle Thicknesse, the man Bellatrix had fought against earlier.

There was a bang, and Hermione was thrown backwards. After lying still for a few seconds, Hermione was well aware that she had to move, that a sitting duck would be the first target. Dizzy, she stumbled to her feet through the smoke, and horrified, she saw Fred, unmoving, staring, dead._ How? Why?_

She cried aloud, and then curses were still flying through the air as she was pulled down, protected by Harry and Ron. No longer able to think straight, she watched spiders began to climb through the giant hole that was now in the building, and after watching Ron and Harry blast it backwards, they dragged Fred's body out of the way of any Death Eaters that may pass. They didn't want to give any of the Death Eaters a chance to violate Fred's body in any way they saw fit, because when the time was right (if they survived) then they would have a chance to grieve in peace.

Before she knew it, Hermione was in her hazy world once more, somehow holding Ron back, but at the same time intrinsically knowing to tell Harry to look inside Voldemort and the very connection between them she used to fear. She functioned, but she didn't know how when one of the Weasleys was dead. It felt as though she was in the middle of a film, except every time she expected to hear cut, someone else was injured or murdered. She couldn't imagine how it felt to have someone you loved, a family member you had grown up with all your life perish before your eyes. _Poor Ron._

There was much to do though, and as soon as Harry had called out Voldemort's whereabouts, the Shrieking Shack, they gathered under the Invisibility Cloak to fight their way there. Hermione caught a fleeting glance of Draco after Ron punched him, and with a sharp pain in her chest she remembered Bellatrix and the fact that she hadn't met them when she was supposed to. Ignoring the wrenching pain that had began to suffocate her heart at the thought of Bellatrix being dead before she had had a chance to prove to the world that she was changing, she carried on running, past spiders, giants, Death Eaters, Hogwartians, towards the Shrieking Shack... into the Shrieking Shack.

The flashing, grainy video began again, as she watched the horror unfold.

_Voldemort._

_Nagini._

_Snape._

_Snape dying._

Head rushing, thoughts blurring, Hermione called out Harry's name. She thought she spoke, but it was all autopilot speech and nothing she said sunk in. Was this what it was to be in shock? Because she didn't understand why everyone was on the way back into Hogwarts, and how time was running out. Before she could fully comprehend her surroundings, she was enveloped by her friends, by her makeshift family, as they gathered around Fred. Why was time going so fast? Why were there more dead people, like Lupin and... _Tonks._ _No, no_.

Hermione focused on her friend-family, and at once she was reminded her of her parents, the two people she loved so much she had erased their memories to keep them safe. The two people she had refused to allow herself to think about often, or talk about for fear of breaking down completely. It hurt so much that she could barely stand it, and slipping away from the crowd, she stumbled out of the Great Hall and down a corridor into an empty, half-blown apart classroom, where she fell to the floor and sobbed bitterly.

_This isn't Gryffindor behaviour_, she told herself spitefully. _Get up. Get up, don't be weak!_

"Are you injured?"

She heard the voice before she saw Bellatrix, and looking up from her spot, hunched against the wall, she saw the older witch standing in front of her, still wearing Rodolphus' clothes from earlier. She looked tired, but strangely beautiful with the too big t-shirt and wild raven curls framing her face. There were several wounds that hadn't been there when she had left Bellatrix, but thankfully nothing looked too severe.

"N-no. Just cuts and bruises," Hermione said weakly, her heart fluttering at the sight of Bellatrix and reminding her exactly why kissing Ron as some sort of test of her feelings had been a ridiculous idea. "How did you know where to find me?"

"I saw you wandering through the Entrance Hall just now," Bellatrix said, and she crouched down to sit opposite Hermione. "I couldn't stay outside the Room of Requirement... Longbottom's grandmother was hovering around, and I'm betting she wouldn't hesitate to curse me rather than engaging in conversation."

"You could have easily defended yourself," Hermione suggested truthfully. "Tortured her if you wanted."

"Yes," Bellatrix agreed. "But I have promised to be on your side and I know that you'd probably have been annoyed with me for that." She smirked. _So not the time for humour, Bellatrix_.

Hermione honestly couldn't even bring herself to crack a smile. Nevertheless, she brushed at her tear-stained cheeks, not wanting Bellatrix to continue seeing her cry. It was clear from the previous occasion when she cried that the older witch did not handle such displays of emotion very well, and she wasn't in the position emotionally or physically right now to deal with Bellatrix's uncaring attitude. This wasn't her being teary over something fixable, like a failed exam or hurtful words that were thrown at her. This was _war_. _Blood, sweat and tears; one giant ball of misery. _ "I'm surprised you listened to me."

Bellatrix shrugged. "Me too."

"Well, thanks," Hermione managed, because at the very least she was genuinely grateful for Bellatrix's obedience. "But... situations change, Bellatrix. This is much bigger than I ever thought it would be. This is war. If you need to kill then you kill."

Bellatrix raised her eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"Not for the sake of it," Hermione clarified, trying to sound more like her old self in an attempt to make herself more composed and snap her out of her current state. "Just to defend yourself and the others. The greater good, I mean."

"I'm not defending others!" Bellatrix scoffed. "Especially not your friend Weasley._ Arse_."

"You defended Kingsley earlier," Hermione said, pointedly ignoring her last comment. "It wouldn't hurt for you to aid us, even if your only motivation is that it will benefit you when the war is over." _If we win, that is._

Bellatrix didn't seem to be sure what to say to this, so she settled for resting against the wall next to Hermione, scooting closer. Hermione remained facing forwards, but out of the corner of her eye, she could see Bellatrix watching her, head tilted to the side and black curls hanging down. If she was an accomplished Legilimens, she would love to do nothing more than to break inside of Bellatrix's head right now and discover what she was thinking. As it was, she could barely perform Occlumency to defend her own mind, or at this moment to block out the pain she felt at the deaths of people she loved.

"Why are you crying?" Bellatrix asked finally. Hermione wondered if she had sensed the pain she felt at present, whether through Legilimency or Semper Amor, or if she was just curious as to why she had discovered Hermione bawling her eyes out.

"Some people died," Hermione said, reluctant to share any more information and provide their names. Saying such things would only bring home exactly who had been lost, and Hermione couldn't afford to completely fall apart right now. Really, she shouldn't even be taking this time to herself, and the only reason she did was so that she was still capable of functioning to a certain extent when the battle began once more. What was the point in grieving now, anyway? There was little to no chance of Bellatrix bothering to comfort her, because grief wasn't a feeling she was familiar with.

"Who?" Bellatrix enquired.

"It doesn't matter," Hermione said, hoping that Bellatrix didn't push for information.

She didn't. Instead, they remained like that in silence for several minutes as Hermione respectfully mourned the losses she had suffered and Bellatrix most likely pondered her thoughts or probed Hermione's mind delicately now that her defences were down. Hermione didn't particularly care though, for there were other matters of much greater concern to her right now. All she wanted was for Voldemort to die and for the wizarding world to begin rebuilding itself free from his reign. For too long he had dictated what people should and shouldn't believe, what they could and couldn't do and terrorising innocents. It was time for things to change._ Forever._

Eventually, Bellatrix cleared her throat and said assuredly, "You'll be ok. I shall defend you."

Hermione turned her head at this remark, smiling through her sadness. "My hero," she whispered, only half-joking.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't go that far."

Twisting herself around so that she faced Bellatrix once more, Hermione shakily lifted her hand, placing it against Bellatrix's cheekbone. She realised now that she was so close to Bellatrix how much more gaunt the older woman looked, as though she had spent the last few weeks torturing herself internally over the decision she had made to relinquish her loyalty to Voldemort and resulting in the consequences showing physically. When Bellatrix didn't pull away, Hermione lifted her head up, and placed a soft kiss on Bellatrix's mouth, the flaming love she felt for the raven haired witch igniting deep in her belly, and encouraging her to throw a leg over Bellatrix, so that now she rocked back and forth in her lap. _This is what kissing should feel like._ She badly wanted to rip the cloak and black t-shirt from Bellatrix and explore her body, the desire stronger than ever before, but she knew they couldn't, that now was not the time...

Reluctantly, she pulled backwards, though she still remained seated on Bellatrix. "You've given up everything you've ever stood for to fight for the cause I believe in, even though you hate pretty much everyone I love. You only agreed to do it if I would help your sister and nephew too, and even though you still feel weird about me because I'm not a pure-blood, you're willing to risk your life to be with me," Hermione said softly, holding Bellatrix's hands in her own. "That makes you a hero to me."

"Yes, well," Bellatrix said, averting her eyes and avoiding the topic of conversation. "We should decide what to do now."

Although Hermione had expected such a reaction even after speaking so tenderly to Bellatrix, it still hurt that her words were so easily discounted. Forcing a small smile onto her face, she let go of Bellatrix and attempted to climb off her lap so that they could talk more seriously without being distracted by one another. However, she was prevented from moving by Bellatrix, who now held onto her waist, keeping her in place so that they wouldn't be parted.

"Hermione..." Bellatrix said, her voice sounding unsure, and her expression seeming even more uncomfortable. "Merlin, I never thought I'd say this but... you are... you are my pretty little Muggle-born."

In that instance, Hermione was satisfied, for that was all she needed to hear. She would probably never get to hear everything she needed from Bellatrix, but her awkward admission meant the world to Hermione, simply because of the immense effort she had gone to forcing herself to say it. And for the first time, she had not called Hermione a Mudblood, but a Muggle-born. She might not be proclaiming to love all Muggle-borns, but for the moment an admission such as what she had just declared was something Hermione would accept that willingly.

"Thank you," she said softly, staring at Bellatrix and wishing she would meet her eyes. It was obvious that she felt out of her depth in such a situation, especially considering the current events, but in a strange sort of way, that made it all the more special.

"I have to find Narcissa," Bellatrix said suddenly. "I haven't seen her or Draco yet."

"I've seen Draco," Hermione said, feel the anger surge through her veins at the memory of him attempting to prevent them from gaining the Horcrux.

Her fury must have shown on her face, as Bellatrix enquired, "Is he doing something he shouldn't be?"

"From what I could tell he's claiming to be on the side of the Death Eaters but not doing a whole lot to prove it. He tried to attack myself, Harry and Ron in the Room of Requirement and then Vincent Crabbe nearly got us killed with Fiendfyre,...but after we dragged Draco out of the flames with Goyle... Crabbe died... and they left us alone," Hermione summed up disjointedly, unaware if she even made sense.

"Fiendfyre?" Bellatrix said, sounding perplexed. "Why would he use Fiendfyre in an enclosed space? The Dark Lord is the only person I know who has ever dared..." her voice trailed off at the awkward mention of Voldemort.

"Crabbe is an idiot," Hermione said, glossing over the moment.

As far as she was concerned, Bellatrix may claim to be loyal to her, but there was no telling if she would change her mind when faced with Voldemort. There was no doubt in Hermione's mind that Voldemort would be enraged by the betrayal of someone he considered to be one of his most faithful. Even if he was angry with Bellatrix at the moment and blamed her for Harry, Ron and Hermione's escape from Malfoy Manor and stealing the Horcrux from his vault, he was probably still under the assumption that she would fight for him. That was, unless he had somehow found out about them, whether through the Horcrux or by another method, like Rodolphus changing his mind, confessing all and revealing his disguise.

Bellatrix stood and Hermione mirrored her actions. "If someone sees you then they are going to assume you are fighting for Voldemort," she explained to Bellatrix. "They may not listen, even if I defend you. And if the Death Eaters see you fighting against them then they will also turn on you. Are you sure you're willing to do this? It's twice as dangerous for you to be out there as it is me."

Despite it being an entirely inappropriate reaction considering the circumstances, Bellatrix grinned, showing off the perfectly white teeth that Hermione was still amazed by. "I can look after myself as well as looking after you. _Come on_."

Not arguing with this, realising it would be a futile and ineffectual attempt, Hermione followed Bellatrix out of the classroom. They were just about to enter the Entrance Hall when they were abruptly faced with Neville. He looked back and forth between Bellatrix and Hermione, who had come to a stop and had yet to react, when he appeared to make a decision. Anticipating this, Hermione shouted, "_Protego!_" and a shield appeared as a wall, separating herself and Bellatrix from Neville.

"What... Hermione what are you doing?" Neville yelled, though he didn't attempt to curse, hex or jinx Bellatrix, aware that it would rebound on him.

"Let me explain, Neville," Hermione said hurriedly. "She's on our side."

"On our side?" Neville exclaimed. "Hermione, you're under the Imperius Curse, you don't know what you're-"

"No, Neville!" Hermione interrupted. "Please, listen. There isn't much time. Bellatrix is fighting for us. If you don't believe me then speak to Kingsley, he'll tell you that Bellatrix defended him earlier. Right?" she said, looking towards Bellatrix for confirmation.

Bellatrix gave a jerk of her head to indicate yes, but she continued to stare at Neville, stony-faced. It wasn't helping the situation one little bit, and Hermione was worried that things were going to get out of hand and everything would escalate beyond her control.

"She tortured my parents," Neville snarled. "I don't care even if she is telling the truth; she doesn't deserve my forgiveness when she isn't even sorry!"

Bellatrix, who had remained silent up until this moment, chose this moment to speak. "I don't like you, Longbottom. I think you're an idiot, a fool, and a pathetic wizard. But I assure you that I did not torture your parents_._ I took the credit because living without my Lord seemed unbearable, and I wanted to prove my faithfulness to him by suffering in Azkaban."

"You're a liar!" Neville shouted, and he looked more enraged than Hermione had ever seen him look before. "My grandmother told me how you laughed when you were arrested and how you stood up at the hearing and admitted it!"

"I have never admitted to the torture!" Bellatrix shrieked, and several red sparks flew from her wand, a sign that she was beginning to lose control. "Yes, I proclaimed my devotion to the Lord, and yes, admittedly I laughed when they took me, but I did not put your parents into their current miserable state."

"Why should I believe you?" Neville spat.

"You should believe_ me_," Hermione interjected. "Because she admitted it to me months ago whilst we were still enemies and had no reason for dishonesty. Don't you think... don't you think that at such a crucial point in the war it is not the time for Bellatrix to be pretending to side with us?"

"It's all just a game to her," Neville said disgustedly. "She thinks it's fun."

Hermione shot Bellatrix a warning look before she agreed with Neville and made the situation worse. Yes, she appeared to be unfazed by the situation and the sadistic parts of her took pleasure in fighting, duelling, torturing, but _damn it_, Hermione loved her. And for some insane reason Bellatrix apparently felt the same way, because even if she hadn't voiced her feelings, her actions dictated that she did. _After all, actions speak louder than words, don't they? _Hermione told herself.

"She has proved herself tonight, and she could help us against You-Know-Who," Hermione persisted. "She knows him better than we do in so many ways. Let us pass, please." They could easily subdue Neville between them if they wanted to, but Hermione didn't want it to come to that. It was better if they could convince him to at least leave Bellatrix alone for the moment.

"Why should I?" Neville asked.

"Because I have the memory of who did torture your parents at home," Bellatrix offered as an incentive.

Hermione's heart thudded at this latest revelation. Bellatrix was offering Neville something that upon first hearing it sounded kind of sick; the destruction of his parent's memories, of their lives as they once knew them to be. After a few seconds however, Hermione began to see the appeal. Neville would catch a glimpse of the people his parent's once were, see them as functioning, intelligent beings rather than the empty shells they had become. It would be a form of closure that he had never even come close to receiving before. The Longbottoms' last true memory. The reality of those who had brought Neville into this world, all there for the taking in a way that had never been available before.

"How do you have the memory if you didn't do it?" Neville asked suspiciously, picking up on the connotations behind what Bellatrix had told him.

"It isn't my memory, it's Rodolphus's memory," Bellatrix explained. "The others accused did do it. I can't explain now, but the memory is in the Pensieve I have at Black Manor. I'm sure you won't enjoy seeing it, but your parents do say and do some things that you may find... _interesting_."

"And you're going to show me it?" Neville asked incredulously, but there was a flicker in his eyes that told Hermione his curiosity had been piqued. "Just like that?"

"Well, provided we don't die this evening," Bellatrix replied dryly. "And on the condition that you allow us to pass, and that should you see another me wearing a black dress, running around cursing everyone, then you make a special effort to curse it."

Neville looked confused. "What?"

"What Bellatrix is cleverly trying to say," Hermione said, shooting Bellatrix an exasperated look. "Is that Rodolphus has taken Polyjuice potion to become her and is now pretending to be her in Battle. It's a long story but the upshot is he saw Bellatrix defending Kingsley and realised she has betrayed Voldemort. I don't have time to explain now, but just take it as granted that I am telling you the truth."

A tiny amount of comprehension dawned on Neville's face (though he still looked slightly confused, which was entirely understandable) and he nodded. Seeing this and knowing intuitively that he would no longer attempt to attack Bellatrix, Hermione removed the shield between them, and stepped forward with Bellatrix. "Thank you, Neville."

"I'm doing this for my parents," he said fiercely. "Because defeating the cause that resulted in their death matters more to me than revenge."

Hermione squeezed Bellatrix's arm as a warning to her not to say anything sarcastic. They didn't have time for it was rapidly running out, and they still had so much left to do. They needed to find Narcissa and Draco, kill Nagini, and then finally, face Voldemort himself. Although Bellatrix could prove invaluable in killing Nagini, especially with her skills, Hermione didn't want her to attempt it for two very different reasons. One, she would have to get too near to Voldemort which in itself was practically a death wish. Two, Hermione would have to give Bellatrix a reason the great snake needed to die, and Bellatrix knowing about the Horcruxes at this stage was something that Hermione still wasn't entirely comfortable with. _Semper Amor or life with an immortal Lord?_

And then, Hermione was distracted by Voldemort's voice announcing that Harry was dead.

_No, no. Not Harry. Not Harry, how can he be dead? We need him. NO NO NO._

There were so many people following Voldemort's orders to leave the castle and see Harry's body that Hermione and Bellatrix managed to slip unnoticed between them, Bellatrix with the hood of her cloak up so as to hide her face and reduce the risk of being spotted. As they left the warmth of the castle and felt the chilly air wash over them, Hermione heard a scream, a laugh, and then she spotted Harry's body herself. She thought she may have screamed before she slumped, held up only by Bellatrix.

"You need to focus, little babe," Bellatrix said urgently, the most rational she had been yet. "I need you to focus, because this is about us and the only way we can be together. Remember_ Semper Amor. _Get up."

She didn't really remember the next few minutes; all Hermione was aware of was Bellatrix whispering urgently to her, telling her to get up before she drew attention to them. Eventually she did so shakily, the only reason being that she had to be strong now that it was only her and Ron who knew the secret that hid within Nagini, and it would be up to them to destroy the last remaining Horcrux before they had to defeat Voldemort himself.

Except then everything was moving faster and faster, and someone shouted that Harry's body was gone and Neville who was tormented to prove a point to the rest of the crowd was pulling Gryffindor's sword out of the hat. He sliced off Nagini's head in one vicious swoop, the snake split apart, crashing to the ground and screeching no more. There was a scream, _Voldemort's,_ and the most evil wizard of all time was now gunning for Neville, aiming spells at him that were blocked by a Shield Charm someone had cast, until there was a flash of green, whizzing through the air towards him. Everything seemed to move in slow motion for Hermione as she watched, horrified, until Bellatrix flicked her wand and the light disappeared into the Sorting Hat that had jumped up from the ground to protect Neville, the light draining into it, having no effect.

Voldemort had swung around to see who had defended Neville, and in that time Bellatrix had disappeared behind the giant, Grawp, pulling Hermione with her, back towards Neville. As Voldemort searched the crowd for the culprit, still fixated on who had dared to prevent his curse, Bellatrix seized Neville by the shoulders and pulled him next to them behind the giant's leg, where Hermione hoped they would be safe for a few seconds, at least until the giant moved again.

"You... you saved my life?" Neville yelled over the Battle's noise, the hatred in his eyes that had previously been present when he gazed at Bellatrix now replaced with confusion as he questioned her.

"Yes, idiot. And now that you've killed Nagini he's going to want vengeance; that snake is the only thing the Dark Lord cares about. _Move,_" she snarled, and doing as he was bidden, he ran after her, Hermione following close behind.

_The final hour has truly begun,_ Hermione thought. _This is war._


	20. Chapter 20

I know it's been slightly longer again since I last posted, but I wanted to work more on this chapter and life is literally so busy for me right now! But I promise at least two updates a week my darlings. :) Thank you for all the love as always!

A few of you may have read a nod to the concept of "Semper Amor" in my fellow muddy-buddy, **aoxomoxoa's**, fic, "**Tumor**". I seriously recommend it, not because of the mention but because of the awesomeness that it is from the very start! Take a look if you can, because it's a fabulous read so far. :)

**Cobrastryke-** Thank you! I didn't expect to get so many reviews, it's so kind of people to let me know what they think of the fic. Glad you're happy with the update rate too. :)

**I Am Xpression-** Thanks. :) Read on to see if you guessed right, hehe.

**Bellaminion-** I wish this pairing was canon too, believe me!

**AraLupus-** Thanks, I thought so too. I just don't see Bellatrix suddenly fighting for the Order, and the only reason she has changed is motivated by her own feelings and gain, because she knows she can't have Voldemort and love Hermione.

* * *

_Before the doors close_

_And it comes to an end_

_With you by my side I will fight and defend_

_Avril Lavigne, Keep Holding On_

* * *

_**20.**_

The Battle gradually moved from outside and back into the Great Hall, with Hermione, Bellatrix and Neville running as fast as possible. Eventually Neville was separated from them, and left alone, Hermione kept an eye out for Rodolphus disguised as Bellatrix. She had unconsciously decided from the moment that Rodolphus had taken the Polyjuice Potion that he was going to be her target; now that Harry was alive (and though she hadn't seen him, she knew he was somewhere, hidden under his Invisibility Cloak...) Voldemort was his to defeat, and Ron was most likely going after Rookwood, who they suspected had caused the blast that killed Fred.

In Hermione's search for Rodolphus she had lost sight of Bellatrix, and attempting to ignore the worried pang in her chest by telling herself that Bellatrix was an extremely skilled witch and capable of protecting herself, she spun around, moving apprehensively closer to Voldemort. In the centre of the room, he was duelling against McGonagall, Slughorn and Kingsley, fixated on murdering them but not quite succeeding. It was then that Hermione spotted him; Rodolphus, the fake Bellatrix, had placed himself close to Voldemort, most likely in an attempt at protection. It was uncanny, Hermione thought, how much he looked like her, from the expression on his face to the mannerisms he used. Polyjuice Potion could disguise oneself, but it took real talent, Hermione grudgingly admitted, to truly become the person. It made her wonder if Rodolphus had disguised himself as Bellatrix before; it seemed to come so naturally to him that he wasn't putting effort into anything but duelling.

As Rodolphus duelled with Ginny and Luna, Hermione stepped forward to join them. With three against one they were technically in a stronger position, but Rodolphus had unfortunately had far more practice at duelling than them. He easily matched all three, laughing cruelly each time he waved his wand in their direction. Despite this, it seemed to take several moments for Rodolphus to realise that it was Hermione he was duelling against, and it was only when he locked eyes with her that his face contorted into a snarl at his recognition of who she was. He continued to battle them, but he aimed the majority of curses towards Hermione now, targeting her because of his discovery of Bellatrix's betrayal for her.

"You'll never defeat me, Mudblood!" he shrieked, hatred within the eyes of Bellatrix that he had stolen so cleverly.

At once Hermione was reminded of the expressions that Bellatrix used to wear when she first abducted her, and it took all her energy to focus on continuing to deflect the curses. It was illogical for she knew that she was faced with Rodolphus, but she couldn't look at Bellatrix's body and summon up enough hatred to curse him. Fear began to rise within her as the curses flew at her faster than before, and desperately, she attempted to throw an Impervius Charm at Rodolphus to tie him up and prevent him from aiming curses her way. Unfortunately, Rodolphus was too quick, and with a sneer on Bellatrix's face, he shot a Killing Curse that narrowly missed Hermione and Ginny who were launched back in the air and out of the way.

Winded, but otherwise unharmed by the move, Hermione gazed around with terror and happened to spot the real Bellatrix under her cloak. Their eyes met, and she tried to pull herself into a sitting position and gesture for Bellatrix to come towards her. It was a struggle, however, for she was still trying to catch her breath, and by the look of Ginny next to her, she was having difficulties too. Seeing a flash of light from the corner of her eye, she heard Mrs Weasley shout, "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" and was suddenly aware of Bellatrix running towards her, launching herself downwards and landing on top of her.

She stared at Hermione with wide, panicked eyes, and she seemingly could not talk, for seconds later she was still watching Hermione desperately, her lips unmoving.

"I'm ok," Hermione forced out, knowing that Bellatrix needed reassurance that she was alright. Carefully, she shifted out from underneath Bellatrix, ignoring the pain in her ribs from their collision. "Don't worry."

"What's going on?" Ginny said next to them, taking note of Bellatrix. "Hermione, who's that? If my mum is fighting Bellatrix..." her voice trailed off as she nodded towards her mother, who was now engaged in a vicious duel with Bellatrix, no, Rodolphus, whilst onlookers stood all around, watching with their wands out in case a curse should accidentally fly their way and they needed to defend themselves.

"There's no time to explain properly," Hermione said urgently, directing her gaze at Ginny and Luna who were seated on the floor beside her. "All you need to know is that this is the real Bellatrix, and she's on our side."

"What?" Ginny gasped, sounding horrified. She thrust her wand outward towards them without hesitation.

Hermione mirrored Ginny's actions. "Put down your wand, Ginny," she said firmly. "Just believe me for the moment, because now is not the time to question me!"

Ginny remained silent, her eyes mistrusting, and gradually lowered her wand, albeit not completely. Still, Hermione chose to interpret this as her command being understood, and she watched as Bellatrix pulled her hood down, her face now visible. Everyone else was still focused on the duels and as far as Hermione was aware they didn't notice; though if anyone had realised there were two Bellatrix's they chose to not get involved as they didn't want to make the wrong move, and were most likely preoccupied with keeping an eye on Voldemort anyway.

"She's on our side now?" Luna said airily, from her position next to Ginny. "How nice."

Grateful that at least Luna had accepted her statement (even though it was in her usual barmy way), Hermione turned back to Rodolphus, fully prepared to step in and help Mrs Weasley. Just as she prepared to stand, however, a hand grasped her wrist, and Bellatrix hissed in her ear. "No! He is mine!"

Realising what Bellatrix was about to do, Hermione held onto her arm tightly. "If I'm not killing him, you aren't either!"

Bellatrix opened her mouth to protest, and then suddenly, it was too late. Mrs Weasley had successfully launched a Curse at Rodolphus as he taunted her, and with a twisted smile on Bellatrix's face, he fell to the ground with a thud. For a second, Hermione imagined it to be her Bellatrix, and she sharply drew in air, before she realised that she was clutched onto the true raven haired witch, and that the imposter was dead.

Voldemort's scream of rage upon imagining Bellatrix to be defeated terrified Hermione, for what if Bellatrix had a change of heart and decided to return to him? Bellatrix had not moved up until this point, but she was still staring ahead, eyes wide. It made Hermione question the expression on her face, one that she had never before seen on Bellatrix. It was almost a perverse version of satisfaction that Hermione hated to witness, but couldn't quite take her eyes away from. And then, she smiled. It was a gloating, pleased smile that sent shivers down Hermione's spine.

"Bella?" Hermione said nervously. "What are you...?"

"Shut up," Bellatrix said, cutting her off.

Glancing back towards Rodolphus, Hermione realised that he had began morphing back to his usual form, the Polyjuice Potion no longer having an effect. It was horrifying to watch the lifeless transformation, for it seemed entirely unnatural, and forced Hermione to bite down on her tongue to stop herself from making choking motions. Any second now Voldemort was going to realise that Bellatrix wasn't dead, and he was going to be enraged beyond belief at the betrayal of a Death Eater whose loyalty he had never doubted.

_Three. _

_Two._

_One._

Bellatrix was watching Voldemort now, and it seemed for a second that she was actually trying to catch his eye, watching as he noted the change in the corpse before him and eventually looked in her direction. The shock on his face was evidently only for half a breath, before the questioning began.

"What is this, Bellatrix?" he said sharply, immediately knowing he was faced with the true Bellatrix, such was his intelligence. After all, he was a horrifying, manipulative and evil wizard, but also one of immense skill which was the main reason he was such a danger to wizarding society.

"My-my Lord," Bellatrix stammered, her eyes widening.

"Have you betrayed me? I wouldn't have thought it possible..." Voldemort mused. Then, his face mutated further in violent fury. "Rodolphus took on your identity with Polyjuice Potion?" he said in his high, soulless voice, the inflection at the end of his sentence making it clear he was asking Bellatrix a question.

"Yes," Bellatrix whispered, her bottom lip quivering.

Voldemort stared at her for several minutes more, and as his eyes took on an expression of understanding, Hermione realised he had seen the way Bellatrix felt about her.

"You have betrayed me," Voldemort said quietly, his voice all the more terrifying for it quivered, as though he was holding back his rage. Briefly, Hermione wondered exactly how he knew of Bellatrix's change in loyalty, immediately before she worked it out for herself. Voldemort was so experienced at Legilimency that he could see all of Bellatrix's thoughts and feelings laid out before him just by glancing into her eyes. He was probably aware of the entire confrontation between Bellatrix and Rodolphus this evening having discovered it for himself. Hermione was sure that he had also had sight of all events previously, such as the intimate moments between herself and Bellatrix and the words they had shared. There had been no need for him to torture her for information, because Bellatrix had most likely not even attempted to block him from her mind, paralysed by fear and unwilling to do anything that would anger Voldemort further.

"My Lord, if I may just-"

"There's no need to say anything, Bellatrix; I see all that you feel. You have fallen prey to the weakness that I warned you against. Love for a _Mudblood_, Bellatrix? How utterly disgusting!" Voldemort hissed, moving towards them.

Bellatrix again attempted to protest, "Please, allow me to explain-"

"SILENCE!" Voldemort roared, the glass bottle within which his anger had been encased shattering violently. "Tell me Bellatrix, if you had to choose in this moment who your loyalty lies with, what would you say? I, your Lord, or the Mudblood?"

Whimpering, Bellatrix didn't appear to be able to bring herself to reply. She just stared in terror, and Hermione realised she couldn't think straight, that she didn't know who to proclaim her allegiance to. Voldemort was her past, but Hermione could be her future. No doubt if she was capable of thinking rationally then she would realise that Voldemort would punish her in the most gruesome of ways for her betrayal, and she would never be respected by him again. He would never forgive her, and she would be lucky if he even allowed her to live. Hermione on the other hand was willing to accept her for all her faults and to give her the love that she had always desired, but never before been granted. This, Hermione could see with clarity, but whether Bellatrix could was a different matter entirely.

Moments passed.

There was a flicker in Bellatrix's eyes, and she glanced over to Hermione. Her one simple action spoke volumes, and even as her heart soared, Hermione worried for the repercussions. How was she going to save Bellatrix now? They wouldn't have time to run away, for Voldemort would strike them dead before they even had a chance to get out of the Great Hall. Afraid, Hermione shuffled backwards, and jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She glanced backwards. _Ginny. _Grateful for the gesture of support, she shakily touched her hand down on Ginny's in gratitude, before she placed a hand on the small of Bellatrix's back. If they were going to die, she at least wanted to die touching Bellatrix.

Voldemort breathed heavily, his eyes glowing red. "Before I kill you Bellatrix, I am going to teach you a lesson that you appear to have forgotten. All Mudbloods have dirty blood, no matter how attractive you may find them. As a traitor no longer capable of serving me, you shall be forced to watch as I spill her impure blood before you." His eyes fell on Hermione, and he raised his wand.

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut, preparing for death. She heard Bellatrix take a sharp intake of breath next to her, and felt nails dig into her arm as Bellatrix clutched her desperately. Burying her head in Bellatrix's shoulder, she whispered, "I love you."

In the next moment, everything changed.

"Is killing her really more important than killing me?"

_Harry._

Lifting her head up, Hermione watched as Harry stalked towards them.

In that moment, Hermione knew that Harry had succeeded in distracting Voldemort entirely. As much as Voldemort wanted vengeance for Bellatrix's betrayal, killing Harry, the reason for his demise sixteen years ago was far more important. There was arguing, but no fighting, just vicious words exchanged. Throughout, Bellatrix was enraptured, watching the two circling each other, now the only focus of everyone in the room. Hermione too couldn't stop herself from looking, but Bellatrix was also on her mind, and so every now and then she glanced her way.

At first all she saw was the same glazed over expression on Bellatrix's face, until love was mentioned, and she looked back towards Hermione, the spell over her seemingly broken. Relieved, Hermione met her eyes, and automatically without prio thought, she entwined a hand in Bellatrix's, not stopping to worry about the raven haired witch ridiculing her. Fortunately, it didn't appear to concern Bellatrix anyway, and although she didn't grasp Hermione's hand back, neither did she pull away.

Harry was telling Voldemort that Snape loved his mother, and Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. There was so much she didn't understand but would accept because it was coming out of Harry's mouth, her best friend, the boy who was the closest thing she had to a brother. The wonderful, talented man who was now telling Voldemort, no, _Riddle, _to try to feel remorse. Draco was mentioned, and at the reminder of her sister and nephew, Bellatrix's eyes began to search the hall, looking for Narcissa. As the pressure built though, the argument between Voldemort and Harry drew to a close, and it was then that the final moment came:

"_Avada Kedavra_!" Voldemort raged.

At the same time, Harry shouted, "_Expelliarmus_!" and there was a great whirl of green light in the air. Voldemort screamed, a terrible, ear-splitting kind of shriek that tore at Hermione's insides, making her wish that she was momentarily away from the scene, that she didn't have to witness this part of the evening. Black smoke poured out of his chest as Voldemort sunk, no longer moving, and the noise stopped, the hall rendered silent. Red eyes were no more, and for the first time, Voldemort was no longer so horrendously domineering, overpowering, intimidating. He was just a shell of a man, to live no longer.

There were shouts of relieved happiness, and suddenly everyone was moving at once. "IT'S OVER!" somebody yelled, and Hermione rose, whooping with joy, running towards Harry to crush him in a hug with Ron. People all around soon enveloped them, people like Ginny, Neville, Luna, all the Weasleys, every last living person who had been waiting for this moment. Death Eaters were defeated (captured or dead) and victims lay motionless all around, but they had not died in vain, Hermione told herself bravely, they had died for the greater good and would be rewarded for it in whatever world they had now entered. Nevertheless, it stung beyond belief, deep in her heart in a place that would never be healed, to know that many of those she loved, Tonks, Lupin and Fred, had perished at the hands of Voldemort and his sick, evil perception of what it was to be a worthy wizard.

She wanted to stay with Bellatrix, but she suspected that at the moment she would want to be with Narcissa, (Hermione could only hope that she had survived the Battle) and that as Bellatrix's sister, Narcissa would be able to comfort her in a way that Hermione couldn't. Whilst Hermione was thrilled with Voldemort's demise, she didn't expect Bellatrix to celebrate anytime soon, even if this meant that they may be able to be together. There was so much about a normal life that Bellatrix hadn't experienced in a very long time, and it wasn't suddenly going to be perfect for her. _No, for us,_ Hermione corrected herself.

Instead of going back to Bellatrix, Hermione took a seat at the table next to Ron. She opened her mouth to speak to him about the kiss earlier, to explain it could never happen, when he spoke first.

"I know," he said, sad and bitter. "I know it's not me you want."

"It's not like that," Hermione protested, despite the relief that had welled up as she realised that she didn't need to confess her lack of feelings when he was already aware of them. "I still love you, Ron. I still want you in my life, and I want you to carry on being my best friend. But I... I'm not in love with you."

"I_ know_," Ron snapped. "Bellatrix... well, she's insane and I hate her. I wish she wasn't around, but she is. And if she's who will make you happy, then I have to try and deal with... well that Semper Amar thing."

"Semper Amor," Hermione corrected quietly because it was easier than trying to formulate the right words to say to Ron.

"Whatever," Ron replied, uncaring. "Just... just leave me alone. I need to figure out whether I'm able to accept this or not."

"I'm sorry about Fred," Hermione whispered, unable to end the conversation without saying something.

"Percy got Rookwood for that," Ron said, his voice full of hatred, his freckled skin reddening with burning anger. "I wish it could have been me, but I did help him to get Greyback. We stopped them from causing any more destruction; that's something at least."

Hermione didn't know how to reply to that, though privately she admitted that she was especially relieved to hear of Greyback's defeat. Fortunately she was saved by Harry appearing (or rather, not appearing) in his Cloak and asking them to join him. Together, they recounted their own experiences of the night, and listened to Harry's tale of how he had escaped death and attempted to sacrifice himself for their sake. It hit home for Hermione just how brave and kind a person Harry was to do such a thing. There weren't many people in the world who would have been able to walk towards their own death in such a circumstance.

They walked to the office that had once been Dumbledore's and as far as Hermione was aware, currently belonged to no one. They entered to a round of applause from the portraits, but Hermione discounted all around her, only having eyes for Dumbledore's portrait. She waited through the conversation as Harry and Ron discussed the Elder Wand with him, only interjecting once to agree with Harry. The Elder Wand would do nobody any good, but she wasn't too concerned about that right now; she could only think of Bellatrix.

"Is something troubling you, Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked from his portrait, his brilliant blue eyes displaying concern. "Forgive me for saying so, but you seem quieter than usual."

"I need some advice, Professor," she blurted out before she could stop herself.

Dumbledore inclined his head to the side, and despite the fact that he was doing it from a portrait rather than standing before her, it still comforted Hermione to know that he was willing to listen. He had been through so much in his own life such as the death of his sister, but he never tried to burden anyone around him with the miserable truth about his own past. Instead, he hid his shame and dedicated his entire life to improving the wizarding world. The time wasn't right at the moment, but one day, Hermione hoped that she, Harry and Ron could discuss with Dumbledore the conversation they had with Aberforth, and tell Dumbledore that they still had a huge amount of respect for him anyway.

Without another moment's hesitation, Hermione launched into her own long and detailed story of all the events that had transpired with Bellatrix, even the more embarrassing aspects as she knew that for Dumbledore, they would be relevant. He nodded his head in the frame throughout, listening intently and not interrupting her once. For their part, Harry and Ron stood by her sides in silence, allowing her the space she needed to talk.

"So Bellatrix has changed," Hermione finished eventually. "She says she can prove what she says about Neville's parents with the memory from Rodolphus, and I'm sure if we ask her she'll show us the memory of Voldemort stating he will be possessing her at the Ministry."

Before Dumbledore could open his mouth to speak, however, Phineas Nigellus Black interrupted the conversation from his own portrait. "Surely you are not discussing my Great Great Granddaughter, Bellatrix Lestrange?" he asked, outraged. "The proudest pure-blood ever to descend from our line?"

"That's exactly who I'm talking about," Hermione snapped, daring him to challenge her.

"A Mud... Muggle-born? Is she insane?" he exclaimed, looking appalled.

"That will do, Phineas," Dumbledore said sharply. "Miss Granger... Hermione... what exactly is it that you want from me?"

"Only advice," Hermione assured him. "I need to know if I'm doing the right thing by accepting Bellatrix despite every horrible thing she's done over the years. I know that others may not forgive her and... well she could face Azkaban." She swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump that formed in her throat at the thought of Bellatrix being imprisoned.

"Do you truly believe she has changed?" Dumbledore posed the question to her.

Hermione took a few seconds to think before giving her answer. Eventually, she said slowly, "I think... I think she is no longer a risk to others as long as she has me. And I think in time I could change her opinions, but at the moment, I wouldn't say she has entirely reformed."

Inviting himself into the conversation Harry placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder. "It seems to me that Bellatrix has become like Snape, in a twisted kind of way. Snape changed after Voldemort took my mother who was the love of his life away from him, and Bellatrix will change because of you. If Snape had lived and my mother had married him instead of my dad, then he never would have become a Death Eater, and he would have lived a very different life."

"Wise words, Harry. Words I would not have thought you able to say before this tonight," Dumbledore concurred. "I agree. I believe, Hermione, that if you can convince others that Bellatrix has changed, coupled with her contribution when fighting and the actions others have witnessed, there should be no reason why she cannot be pardoned for her offences. Especially if you take it as true that she was not responsible for Sirius or the Longbottoms."

"But..." Hermione swallowed. There was still one particular issue that she worried about. "How can she be forgiven if she doesn't even regret the things that she_ has_ done?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "You are expecting too much, too soon. Bellatrix has shown herself to be capable of love... and those that are capable of love are also capable of feeling remorse. It may take twenty years, but sometime, some place, she will express it."

"Are you talking about Bellatrix Lestrange?" A booming voice interrupted from behind.

Hermione spun around. _Kingsley._

"Yes," she said. "How much did you hear?"

Kingsley held up an Extendable Ear; one of Fred (_no, don't think of him, not now_) and George's most infamous inventions. "All of it."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed, Miss Granger," Kingsley said. "I feel now it is an appropriate time to tell you that I have been voted Minister for Magic by the remaining Order members. It's obviously temporary at the moment, but hopefully it'll be made official if I do a good enough job."

Hermione's heart sank. Why would Kingsley defend Bellatrix when it would probably cause half of the wizarding world to hate him?

Her disappointment must have shown on her face, as Kingsley shook his head. "Listen to me, Miss Granger. I did indeed witness Bellatrix's defence of me earlier this evening, before Voldemort started to lose the battle. I know that what you have just told Dumbledore is the utmost truth, and so I have a proposal for you. I will question Bellatrix myself under the influence of Veritaserum; I know it isn't fool-proof, but it should be an indicator from her body language, and whether she struggles to answer or does so straight away. I will ask her to show me the memories she has, and to provide all information she can. Should she agree to those conditions and more regarding her freedom to move within the wizarding world, then I will see to it that she _doesn't _serve time in Azkaban. Especially considering that she was not responsible for the incapacitation of the Longbottoms or the death of Sirius."

Hermione took this in, and picked up on something within Kingsley's speech. "What other sorts of conditions?"

"Her cooperating with us at the Ministry by visiting us regularly. Appointments with a Soul-Healer who will be able to work with her to help her fit back into society and change her views, those sorts of things," Kingsley informed her. "I'll have to talk to her and see how she responds though. If I face more than just attitude and I think she needs it, then she may have to stay in St. Mungos for a short while."

"A Soul-Healer?" Harry asked, frowning.

"It's the wizard version of a psychologist," Hermione explained promptly, though inside she desperately hoped that Bellatrix would not require hospital treatment. "They deal with wizarding mental health problems which um... which Bellatrix obviously has."

"Obviously," Ron muttered.

"Will you allow her sister and nephew, Narcissa and Draco to also go without punishment?" Hermione asked. "They didn't actually fight us."

"She's right," Harry said, again backing her up. "They've been through enough. Lucius Malfoy too, I suppose. I don't like Draco but he doesn't deserve Azkaban, and Narcissa is the reason I'm alive. She lied to Voldemort and told him I was dead when she'd already felt my heart beating. Granted it was to save Draco's skin, but still..."

"I will speak with them too eventually, but I see no immediate problem with that," Kingsley replied. "Bellatrix on the other hand I would rather deal with now. Would you like to go and find her?" Kingsley suggested, glancing at Hermione. "Bring her to me here; I am sure Professor McGonagall, Hogwarts new Headmistress if I have anything to say about it, will not object to us using her office."

Hermione nodded, and without looking back, she ran off in search of Bellatrix, down the stairs and along the corridor. For the first time she had real, honest optimism that she could be with Bellatrix. If Bellatrix did as was expected and she cooperated with the Ministry, then she would be able to live her life a free woman, and she and Hermione could be together without hiding. It would be incredible, for Hermione wasn't ashamed of the fact she was in love with Bellatrix, rather she was proud that she was the reason that Bellatrix had made the right decision and betrayed Voldemort.

Walking swiftly, Hermione didn't get very far before she ran straight into the very woman she was searching for, and stepped back in surprise. "Bellatrix!" she said happily. "I've been looking for you." Despite her dishevelled state, Bellatrix still bore signs of her striking good looks, and had they not been in a corridor surrounded by other people, (who were occasionally glancing over at Bellatrix with displaying expressions on their faces such as shock, distrust and horror) then she would have kissed her passionately.

Bellatrix stared at her and said sullenly, "You seemed distracted by your friends, so I have been with Narcissa."

Glancing to the left of Bellatrix, Hermione noted with surprise that she wasn't actually alone, for trailing alongside her were Narcissa and Draco. Lucius Malfoy, however, was nowhere to be seen.

"Hello," Hermione said, keeping her tone even, and Narcissa and Draco nodded in her direction, though they said nothing. She turned back to Bellatrix. "I had to see Harry so he could explain exactly what had happened tonight, but I'm here now."

Leaning in towards her, Bellatrix hissed into Hermione's ear so that only she could hear, "I don't expect such treatment!"

Frowning, Hermione replied in a normal volume, uncaring that they had witnesses, "I haven't done anything! There were important things I had to do before I saw you, and I imagined you would want to spend time with your family."

"I think we should leave you, Bellatrix," Narcissa murmured to her sister.

"I've been speaking to Kingsley about you," Hermione said, starting to wonder why she had even bothered if this was the thanks she was going to get. Was this the Bellatrix she would be faced with from now on; moody and uncooperative? She had assumed that once they were free of Voldemort that Bellatrix would be pleased to see her after the immediate aftermath, that she would be back to her usual insanity that Hermione apparently found so endearing. Deciding to make it clear what she had done, Hermione added, "He is confident that you won't have to serve time in Azkaban, and the same applies for Narcissa and Draco too. Just like you wanted."

"And what of Lucius?" Narcissa asked, addressing Hermione for the first time, looking at her desperately. Her brown eyes reminded Hermione of Bellatrix so much that her heart skipped a beat, and she had to force herself to focus on the conversation once more.

Hermione nodded, meeting the eyes of the blonde witch, determined not to let herself be intimidated. If she could handle Bellatrix, then she was obviously capable of handling her somewhat tamer sister. "Him too. Kingsley... he's temporary Minister for Magic, and he wants to speak to you all soon, but right now he wants to see Bellatrix."

"Fine," Bellatrix said tonelessly, not looking at all grateful. "Narcissa, I shall see you later," she added curtly.

"We are going back to the Manor," Narcissa announced. "You are welcome to join us later on." She looked only at Bellatrix, ignoring Hermione. As ridiculous as it was, Hermione couldn't help thinking that she was extremely ungrateful, especially considering the fact that she had served the wrong side for a very long time. Apparently an inability to show gratitude was something that Narcissa had in common with Bellatrix. _Miserable cow._

As Hermione walked away with Bellatrix, she asked pointedly, "Does Narcissa know about us?"

"No," Bellatrix denied. "Though she suspects, I would imagine."

Hermione sighed at the fact there was yet another thing for her to worry about. Now that the war was over she had wanted to live an entirely stress-free life for a few months at least, but apparently that wasn't going to happen. "Are you going to tell her?"

"I shall have to, but first I have the more pressing issue of my freedom to deal with," Bellatrix said sharply.

Anger flared up inside Hermione at the way Bellatrix was treating her after everything she had risked for her. She may lose some friends because of the choice she had made to support Bellatrix, not to mention the fact that over the past months she had put herself in danger by taking chance after chance with Bellatrix, before they were even together. Granted, Bellatrix released her from Black Manor, but considering that she had been the one to abduct Hermione last summer, Hermione wasn't all that sure she should be given credit for that. Speaking harshly, she said, "Don't take out your frustration on me! It's not my fault; I've only tried to help you."

"Then don't speak to me," Bellatrix snapped.

"Fine," Hermione said, making her annoyance clear.

Ignoring her, Bellatrix haughtily walked up the stairs, Hermione trailing behind.

Before she opened the door to the office, Hermione grabbed her arm. There was something that had been irritating her ever since the final confrontation between Voldemort and Harry, and that was the look in Bellatrix's eyes as she watched the man, the _creature_, that used to be her Lord. For a brief few minutes there had been a gaze that suggested adoration, and disturbingly it was an expression that Hermione had never before witnessed in the older witch. She could only hope that as Voldemort was truly gone, Bellatrix would begin to move on from him and obsession would diminish entirely. Already she had made a vast amount of progress, but Hermione still had something she wanted to say to Bellatrix.

"Wait," Hermione said in a hushed voice so that they weren't overheard.

"I thought you weren't going to speak to me," Bellatrix said childishly.

"I wasn't. "But... well back there with Voldemort," she said his name, relishing just a little the fact that it was now safe to do so. "For a moment, I thought you were going to choose him over me."

"I almost did," Bellatrix disclosed.

Hermione's face fell.

"But I didn't," Bellatrix added, as she opened the door to the office. "And that's all that matters."


	21. Chapter 21

Thank you once again for all the reviews, my lovely readers. :) You rock!

If you have a spare two minutes please read **aoxomoxoa** 's review, as it's a poem review of chapter 20 and is absolutely brilliant! She is seriously very talented. :)

**ThisLife103.7-** A Healer is basically the wizard version of a doctor (canon) and a Soul Healer is like a psychologist in that basically they hold therapy sessions with wizard and witch patients who have behavioural problems and mental illnesses.

**Eryk Lestrange-** There are 30 chapters of this fic altogether, and there will be no epilogue as the remaining chapters will explain what happens from this point onwards.

**Kriszti7-** Cheers. :P It was originally miserable bitch but I changed it to cow as I thought it was a little harsh. :P

**ApollosGirlSunny-** I know. I mean, Bellatrix is far too angry to just cry all the time and be weak and vulnerable. She copes with everything that has happened in her life by taking it out on other people and being plain nasty. Thanks very much, and read on to find out what happens with Kingsley!

**OpheliaBlack-** I know, that line is awesome. My favourite out of the whole Deathly Hallows book, hehe.

**Nenarae-** Glad you like **aoxomoxoa's** fic "**Tumor**" and no worries on the recommendation. :)

* * *

_Why does love always feel like a battlefield?_

_Jordin Sparks, Battlefield_

* * *

_**21.**_

For a wearisome hour, Hermione had hovered at the bottom of the stairs with Ron and Harry underneath the Invisibility Cloak. They waited without speaking, having some much needed silent time whilst Kingsley spoke to Bellatrix alone. Eventually however, Ron and Harry had grown tired of waiting, and they retired to the Gryffindor dormitory room where they used to sleep. They had no doubt asked Kreacher for food at some point judging by the growling noises coming from Ron's stomach, but Hermione was far too nervous to even consider eating something as little as a snack. She couldn't bear to do anything except wait with trepidation; therefore she had hidden herself behind a statue, as Harry had taken his Invisibility Cloak with him, and she wanted to avoid awkward questions about Bellatrix from anyone that had witnessed them together during the battle. Unfortunately, the castle was still busy, and so Hermione had to remain as quiet as possible due to the people wandering around crying for lost loved ones, and rejoicing the defeat of Voldemort.

When Hermione was eventually allowed back into the office yet another hour later, Kingsley explained that in her absence earlier whilst she had been locating Bellatrix, Harry had told him of the Horcruxes Voldemort created, and in turn he had informed Bellatrix, who had simply nodded and accepted the information. Hermione was surprised at this; she had been sure that even Bellatrix would be shocked to learn that her Lord had managed to split his soul into seven, but evidently that was not the case.

However, most importantly, Hermione assumed that Bellatrix had passed the Veritaserum test, as she was sitting unrestrained, with Kingsley casually facing her from behind the giant desk in the centre of the room. There was a slight tension in the room, but nothing too unbearable like Hermione had imagined there would be. Bellatrix seemed more wound up than Kingsley judging from her stiffened position sat on the chair, but Hermione knew she couldn't expect miracles. For a moment, she wondered what Kingsley had spoken to Bellatrix about specifically, but knew it wasn't her place to ask exactly what conversation had taken place over the past couple of hours.

Kingsley directed Hermione towards the empty seat next to Bellatrix, and dutifully, she did as she was told and sat there. She attempted to send Bellatix a reassuring smile despite the animosity between them since the Battle had ended, but Bellatrix sat rigidly still, ignoring her and faced forwards, looking at Kingsley.

"To sum things up, I think that all things considered, I will push for your pardon, Madam Lestrange," he told her. "Hopefully there won't even be the need for a trial as should I be made Minister on a permanent basis, that's a system I will be looking to reform entirely anyway."

"For the hundredth time, _Madam Black_," Bellatrix said, snarky as ever, and not at all concerned with anything Kingsley had said, or bothering to show gratitude.

Kingsley quirked his head. "Fine, Madam Black," he said shortly. "However, I would advise being more concerned with other matters, such as the way others react to you. I wouldn't expect a favourable reaction from them, despite your actions here this evening." He gave Hermione a look that she chose to interpret as _you too._

"Does this mean I can go?" Bellatrix asked. "I'm bored."

Hermione assumed that the Veritaserum was still having a profound effect on Bellatrix, because even by her usual standards, the statement was extremely childish. She seemed so cold and uncaring that it shocked Hermione, and made her feel like she was once more faced with Bellatrix the Death Eater rather than Bellatrix her lover. It would be silly of her to become upset by anything mean that Bellatrix said whilst under the influence of such a potion, but at the same time she was highly aware that anything Bellatrix declared now would be of the utmost truth.

"For the moment," Kingsley replied in a low voice, completely disregarding Bellatrix's attitude. Hermione supposed he was too relieved by Voldemort's defeat to be concerned with punishing Bellatrix for her sarcasm and immaturity, now that she was no apparent danger. "I don't believe hospital treatment will be necessary, though it's something a Soul-Healer may think differently about at a later stage. In my opinion you will be able to receive treatment within the wizarding community which will allow you to go about your life as normally as possible, but I am no expert. One thing that will most definitely be done, however, is that a contract of expectations will be drawn up, which you will be required to sign and abide by. After I have fully consulted the Wizengamot I shall be in touch, but at the moment there is no Wizengamot, as such, so it shall have to wait for the time being."

Bellatrix shrugged. "Fine." She stood. "You can contact me at Malfoy Manor or Black Manor."

Her statement caused Hermione to wonder what Bellatrix's plans were regarding sleeping arrangements. She knew that although there would be a place in her old dormitory for her to sleep, she didn't really want to part from Bellatrix. However, if Bellatrix intended to go to Malfoy Manor to see Narcissa, there was little chance that she would be invited. Even if she was, what would Narcissa's reaction be? Not to mention Draco! After the Battle she wasn't sure that she had the energy to deal with more confrontation and arguments.

"Bellatrix."

Hermione turned at the same time as Bellatrix, drawn over to Dumbledore's portrait. He was beckoning Bellatrix over in his direction, evidently wanting to speak with her. Somewhat reluctantly, Bellatrix moved towards him, Hermione following close behind. She assumed that whatever Dumbledore had to say to Bellatrix, he wouldn't mind saying in front of her.

"Albus," Bellatrix said, false happiness ringing in her tone. "Something to say?"

"Oh, not much," Dumbledore said airily. "I merely wanted to point out a few things that you should probably be aware of."

Bellatrix raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"I do not expect any sort of apology from you regarding your actions before my death," Dumbledore said, almost certainly referring to the Unbreakable Vow she had cajoled Snape to take, and her goading of Draco at the scene of Dumbledore's death.

"Good," Bellatrix snarled, demeanour changing. "Because you won't get one."

Dumbledore inclined his head, watching Bellatrix with piercing blue eyes behind spectacles. "However, I do expect that you will treat Miss Granger with the respect that she deserves. Considering the choices you have made, you no doubt care for her very deeply, but you should be aware that if anything were to happen to the very talented witch in front of me, her friends would be most displeased. They would no doubt seek vengeance if this is a lie or a ploy of some sort."

Hermione was touched at Dumbledore's words, and that his only concern was for her rather than an apology for himself. Had Dumbledore the man been standing in front of her instead of the portrait, he would probably have ensured personally that Bellatrix was telling the truth, but as it was, he was doing the best that he could in the circumstances. And he was right anyhow; Harry and Ron would make it their mission in life to get revenge on Bellatrix if she ever hurt Hermione, or went back on her word to abandon her Death Eater lifestyle.

"Why would I lie? Why would I falsify memories or resist the effects of truth serum when I have never renounced my Lord before?" Bellatrix asked with a sneer. "Why would I, here at the most crucial time, not reveal my true reasoning? This is as genuine and real as it will ever be. Not that it's _any _of your business!"

"In that case, then we have nothing to worry about," Dumbledore said simply. "All will be well for you and Miss Granger."

Bellatrix leant in towards Dumbledore, an intimidating look on her face that made Hermione shiver even though the look wasn't aimed at her. "How is it that even though you're dead, you still manage to be entirely irritating in the same way as when you were alive?"

Instead of retaliating, Dumbledore simply looked amused, chin quivering underneath his white beard. "I see you haven't lost your pleasant nature, Bellatrix."

"We're going now," Bellatrix announced to Hermione, ignoring the last comment. Hermione supposed that even Bellatrix realised that blowing a hole through Dumbledore's portrait would not particularly benefit her as she tried to persuade the Ministry that she was safe to be walking around in the wizarding world. "Come."

Not particularly happy about the fact that Bellatrix was telling her what to do, (especially in front of Dumbledore, the other portraits and Kingsley) Hermione followed grudgingly, mouthing _"thank you"_ at Dumbledore before leaving. She didn't want to make a scene in front of the others, and she supposed that as Bellatrix was evidently incapable of acting like a polite adult, she would just have to tolerate her for the moment. Moreover, if the Veritaserum was still having an effect on Bellatrix, then she would be truthful when Hermione spoke to her, meaning that she was probably going to be more awful than she usually was considering everything about her life that had changed so drastically over the past few hours. Voldemort was dead, Rodolphus was dead, and she was going to be free (to a certain extent) once more. It was a lot for her to take in.

After leaving the office, Hermione walked alongside Bellatrix for a few metres before she realised that the corridors were finally starting to empty. Together, they walked through the near-destroyed doors of the castle, and out into the open air, away from the scene of the Battle. When there was absolutely nobody in sight, even in the distance, Hermione enquired, "Do you really not care about Dumbledore's death?" Maybe it was wrong of her to ask, but she genuinely wanted to discover the truth whilst she had the chance to ask about how Bellatrix really felt.

"No," said without hesitation was the short response she got.

"Harry was devastated when he died," Hermione said, shocked at the callousness of Bellatrix.

Bellatrix stopped walking and grabbed Hermione's arm, preventing her from moving too. "You know who I am and what I have done. I thought you were willing to accept that!"

"I thought you had changed at least a little," Hermione said timidly. "And that you didn't do half of what you've been reported to do anyway."

"Changed? Hermione, I may not have committed the crimes that you previously hated me for, but I have done more than enough in other areas," Bellatrix said, her voice devoid of emotion. "I rejoiced when Dumbledore died, and I have spent the past few years making it my mission in life to kill Harry Potter, and people such as the daughter of my dear sister, Andromeda. If you are under the misapprehension that I am innocent and misunderstood; you're wrong. I have done unimaginable things."

"So you want Harry dead? And even your own niece?" Hermione's voice shook as she spoke, and she tried hard to stop herself from getting upset, even despite the fact that Tonks had already died.

"No," Bellatrix denied. "Not anymore. But I don't much care what happens to them either."

Feeling tears well up in her eyes, Hermione tried to stop them leaking by focusing on the anger within her chest. How dare she? After everything that Hermione had risked for Bellatrix, she believed it was ok to say things that she knew full well would upset her! There was no way that she could be so stupid as to think Hermione would be absolutely fine with her making such statements. Everyone had their breaking point, and Hermione was fast reaching hers. Feeling the rage pulse through her veins, Hermione abandoned all her efforts at tolerating Bellatrix, and shouted, "Well, good news for you... Tonks is already_ dead_!"

"Rabastan, Rodolphus's brother is dead too, according to Shacklebolt," Bellatrix said conversationally, ignoring Hermione's tone. "I can't say I mind."

"Well I don't feel that way about Tonks!" Hermione screamed. "What is wrong with you, Bellatrix? Do you have any idea how I feel right now? Imagine how it would have felt if you had lost Narcissa or Draco in the Battle! If it had been people you love that had died, do you really think I would tell you I don't mind?" She wiped away the tears that were now freely falling, feeling like an idiot for crying _yet again._

Amazingly, at the sight of her tears, the expression on Bellatrix's face softened slightly, and she started to look panicked at the display of emotion. "Don't... don't do that. _Please,_ Hermione, you know I don't like it when you do that."

"I c-can't help it," Hermione stammered, trying to compose herself and failing miserably.

"I am not trying to distress you, I'm just telling you the truth," Bellatrix said desperately. "Just stop crying; I won't allow you to be upset like this!"

"Your feelings are what upset me!" Hermione exclaimed, unable to believe the words that had just left Bellatrix's beautifully cruel mouth. Starting to get a hold of herself, she added, "Tonks was my friend, and I'll miss her. Harry is like a brother to me, and you should know how I would react if I lost him because of the way I behaved earlier on when I believed him to be dead. How are we ever going to work if you can't even tolerate him?"

"Well I-I'll be perfectly civil to your friends as long as they do me the same courtesy," Bellatrix promised. "Is that good enough for you?"

Hermione shrugged, wiping away the few tears that had leaked from her eyes. "It's going to have to be, isn't it?"

Deep down, she hoped that over time Bellatrix would change her mind. She had already done the unthinkable; what Hermione had never imagined she would have the courage to do and betrayed Voldemort, the hardest thing of all. If she could do that, then who was to say she couldn't form new opinions in the future? Her previous Master was never coming back because Harry, Ron and herself had personally seen to it that it was no longer possible. All the Horcruxes had been destroyed, and every last remaining fibre of Voldemort was never again going to taint the world with his lies, deceit and hatred. Whether Bellatrix liked it or not, things would be changing in the world, and no longer would she remain a powerful pure-blooded Death Eater Queen that reigned above all others. In the eyes of most of the wizarding world that was left, it was her who was the repulsive filth instead.

"You're still sad, aren't you?" Bellatrix said hesitantly, when Hermione didn't add anything more.

"Yes, Bellatrix," Hermione said quietly. "I'm still _sad_, as you put it."

"Don't be," Bellatrix told her. She raised a hand and stroked her thumb underneath Hermione's chin in a rare moment of affection. Her cheeks flushed as though she was embarrassed, but regardless of this, Bellatrix gently tipped Hermione's head backwards, and joined their mouths together in a soft, emotion-filled kiss. Although it wouldn't be obvious to outsiders, Hermione knew without a doubt that this was Bellatrix's way of saying she was sorry for causing Hermione so much distress. It was the most tender kiss they had ever shared, and when they eventually parted, Hermione realised that Bellatrix's arms were around her, holding her in a passionate embrace.

"Come; it is getting late, and we should be leaving," Bellatrix said, and although it was an order and not a request, the voice she used was light and almost kind.

"Where are we going?" Hermione asked, anticipating and dreading the answer at the same time.

"To my home," Bellatrix revealed. "I am not prepared to deal with Lucius this evening when I turn up with you, should he be at Malfoy Manor. Or my sister and nephew either, for that matter. I just want to be with you tonight, as utterly ridiculous as that may sound."

Secretly, Hermione didn't think it was ridiculous at all, but she knew she would never convince Bellatrix of this, and so she didn't even try to. She simply felt relieved about not having to go to Malfoy Manor, and strangely happy that she would get to be with Bellatrix alone. Instead, she asked, "When will you tell them about us?"

"Soon," Bellatrix informed her. "Now is not the time, however."

Accepting that Bellatrix was right, Hermione tried to remain positive. All things considered, she should be feeling nothing but happiness right now, despite the losses she had suffered. Voldemort was dead, her two best friends were alive, Bellatrix had sacrificed her allegiance to Voldemort for the sake of being with her, and for the first time in years, the wizarding world was facing stability once more. Most importantly of all, when everything was sorted out and the last of the Death Eaters had been rounded up, Hermione would be able to track down her parents in Australia and hopefully give them back their memories.

_It's going to be ok._

* * *

**September 1981**

"_You're an idiot," Bellatrix said. "How could you wish for me to ask the Dark Lord such a thing?"_

"_You don't understand," Snape said, and there was desperation in his voice that Bellatrix had not heard before. It surprised her, to think of someone like Snape to be capable of showing such an emotion. It was unnatural, as far as she was concerned._

_Ever since he had found out that the Dark Lord was going to kill the son of James and Lily Potter, Snape had been entirely out of character and completely restless. He hadn't shown this in the presence of Voldemort, of course, but when with the other Death Eaters he just couldn't seem to hide the fact that something was wrong. Now, alone with him, Bellatrix cursed the fact that she had agreed to such a meeting. What would be achieved from this? She now knew the previously undisclosed reason for his behaviour, but that didn't make it any easier to listen to him snivel for the hell of it. It was going to be extremely boring having to listen to him whine and repeat the same thing over and over and over and over..._

"_Please, Bellatrix! Just understand where I am coming from!"_

"_What don't I comprehend, Snape? You have a desire for a dirty Mudblood; there is nothing else to understand. You'll just have to learn to control your urges and find someone more worthy," Bellatrix spat. _

"_Lily is... she's not like that," Snape said, and he watched Bellatrix with wide eyes, looking more human and emotional than she had ever seen him before. He looked pathetic. "She isn't like the other Mudbloods."_

_Bellatrix cackled at the absurd statement. "Of course she is? Why would she be any different?"_

_Undeterred, Snape continued to plead, "Please, Bella. Please. Speak to the Dark Lord; he may listen to you if..."_

"_I will do no such thing!" Bellatrix yelled, interrupting him. She was angry that Snape would even dare to ask such a thing in the first place, let alone the fact he should know that once Lord Voldemort was set on doing any one particular thing, nothing would deter him. Even if Bellatrix begged, charmed and whined on behalf of Snape, the Dark Lord would never even consider granting such a wish. Who was Lily Potter to him? She was just another Mudblood, ready and waiting for him to slaughter. It was simple. Snape would just have to come to terms with it. "And there is nothing I can do anyway," she added._

"_At least try," Snape said, voice almost quivering, though his eyes were still fairly blank. "I beg of you Bellatrix; I will forever be in your debt."_

"_Why?" Bellatrix asked. "Why is she so different?"_

_Snape paused for a second, considering what to answer, before slowly saying. "I love her." His cheeks reddened as he confessed this, and his eyes faced the wall behind Bellatrix. _

"_You love her?" Bellatrix asked incredulously. She couldn't actually believe what she was hearing. Snape was actually in love with a Mudblood? If it wasn't so disgusting then it would be funny. At least if he just wanted to have sex with her it wouldn't be so bad. But love? "Ugh. Please tell me you are joking."_

_Snape vehemently shook his head, an expression of utmost seriousness on his face. "I'm not joking; it's the truth."_

"_You're confusing love with infatuation," Bellatrix scoffed. She really hoped that he hadn't spouted all of this to the Dark Lord; he would think Snape utterly ridiculous, and probably even told him so. "Really, you just want to fuck her."_

"_No," Snape said firmly. "I know the difference. And if you had ever been in love, you would know too."_

* * *

Arriving back at the house she had once been imprisoned in was a strange experience for Hermione. There was no longer any need for her to hide or sneak in; she could just enter as Bellatrix's guest, or whatever the sodding hell she was. After all, there was no way she would refer to herself as the girlfriend of Bellatrix quite yet, especially not before they had a chance to discuss it themselves. Moreover, there was so much for them to face at the moment that Hermione wasn't even going to begin worrying about that for the next few weeks at the very least.

Immediately upon arriving, Bellatrix checked on Lemmy. As expected, Kreacher was nowhere to be seen, but he had left Lemmy tucked up in her small elf-sized bed in one of the backrooms, sleeping soundly, alive and apparently on the mend. Although Bellatrix didn't voice her relief, the expression on her face said it all, and served to remind Hermione that Bellatrix was capable of showing compassion for elves, even despite the terrible act she had committed against Dobby.

It would have been unfair to wake Lemmy and order her to cook for them, and so instead, Hermione took it upon herself to make herself and Bellatrix some sandwiches. It was a strange first meal together as they ate in silence, not a single word spoken, but Hermione wasn't too concerned considering that they had a lot to learn anyway about being together. Bellatrix finished eating before her and left Hermione alone in the kitchen, apparently assuming that she would automatically follow Bellatrix upstairs when she had finished. After using magic to wash the used plates and cutlery, Hermione left the kitchen, vaguely remembering the way in the vast hallway. She walked slowly, taking the time to look at the decor, which she hadn't had a chance to do before. The carpet in the hallway was a maroon shade, and the walls were panelled with the finest woods, varnished entirely. Portraits littered the halls, though none of them were currently moving, meaning that they may actually have just been normal paintings. Too tired to hang around to find out, Hermione walked along the upstairs landing and into the room she knew to be Bellatrix's bedroom.

Sitting on the bed, Bellatrix was dressed in her nightgown, staring up at Hermione. "You took your time," she said. "Did you get lost?"

Hermione shook her head. Wanting to keep the peace and not argue again, she apologised. "Sorry. I was in a world of my own." Shutting the door behind her, she walked over to Bellatrix, and sat on the bed next to her. "This feels weird."

Bellatrix gave a small sigh. "I know."

Reaching out, Hermione was relieved when Bellatrix didn't pull away from her touch. She rested a hand on Bellatrix's, and as she looked down at her left arm, she noticed something. "Your Dark Mark... it's faded so much that you can barely see it."

"It happened after the Dark Lord's death," Bellatrix whispered. "I suppose that it means... he really is never coming back."

"I suppose it does," Hermione said carefully. She wasn't sure she was able to cope with knowing Bellatrix's feelings regarding this, and so she left it unquestioned. "It also means that we're free to live our lives together."

Bellatrix turned, surveying Hermione. "Yes." She paused, lost in thought. Suddenly, she blurted out something entirely unexpected. "Snape loved a Muggle-born."

"What?" Hermione said, not understanding.

"I didn't believe him," Bellatrix confessed. "He told me he loved her and I mocked him. He was telling the truth all along." She had an amazed look on her face, as though she couldn't quite believe her own words.

"You knew about his feelings for Harry's mother?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Yes. He begged for my help, asked me to ask the Dark Lord to spare her. I refused at first, but eventually after he kept going on and on, I told the Dark Lord. Granted, I didn't exactly try my best to get across Snape's feelings, but I informed him of enough to allow Snape to approach him on his own." She paused. "I don't even know why I did that."

"At least you did something. It doesn't matter, because you didn't kill her, Bella," Hermione said in an attempt to reassure the raven haired witch. It was clear that she felt guilt on some level, whether she was willing to admit to it or not. The similarities between Severus Snape and Lily Potter were strangely similar to the situation that Bellatrix and Hermione had found themselves in; although of course there were many differences as well, like Semper Amor and the fact the love was reciprocated. Still, Bellatrix now understood how desperate Snape must have felt to have approached her, and so Hermione realised that she regretted her actions, even if she didn't explicitly say so aloud.

Intrinsically aware of exactly what Bellatrix needed at this moment in time, Hermione leant in towards the older woman, and placed a light kiss on her lips. She repeated this action over and over, until Bellatrix started to respond, deepening the kiss and winding her hands into Hermione's hair. Their mouths clashed together, and unable to stop herself, Hermione gave a slight moan against Bellatrix, pushing closer. Bellatrix appeared to sense that she wanted more contact, because she pulled her onto her lap, now running her hands along Hermione's sides, causing her to pant more heavily. Hermione felt like fireworks were exploding in her chest, flashing and bursting constantly and incessantly as Bellatrix grasped her, seemingly refusing to let go. To feel this way with Bellatrix was exactly what Hermione wanted for them, and for the first time, she felt truly and completely happy to be kissing Bellatrix. All other worries and fears could be placed to the side for the moment, because she was going to enjoy this whilst she could.

Bellatrix seemed to share this view too. "Off," she murmured, encouraging Hermione to lift her arms into the air so that she could pull her clothing from her. She stared down, wide eyed, fixated on Hermione's newly revealed body. "You're skinny... too skinny."

Hermione smiled. "You know, it's partly your fault I'm like this."

Bellatrix looked up, as she skimmed her lips along Hermione's stomach, tracing the faint scars left by _Sectumsempra, _thanks to Rodolphus. "Only partly?"

"Well, I did live in fields and forests after leaving here," Hermione said, observing Bellatrix. Noting that Bellatrix was entirely focused on the faded-to-pink lines on her stomach, she added apprehensively, "Do they bother you?"

"Your scars?" Bellatrix said, briefly glancing up. "No. I have enough myself. The only thing that bothers me is how they were caused." She clenched her fists in anger.

"Rodolphus is dead now," Hemione stated. "It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," Bellatrix said adamantly. She made a noise of frustration. "If I had just arrived a little earlier, then I could have prevented him from doing such a thing before the thought had even entered his head. I'm not sure these scars will ever disappear."

Looking downcast, Hermione immediately began to feel self-conscious. Did this mean that Bellatrix didn't find her as attractive? The scars may not be very clear, but what could be seen of them was most definitely ugly in Hermione's book. Shifting, she made to grab the sheet. "I'll cover them up."

"No! No, don't. I don't mind them," Bellatix informed her. Gently, she licked a trail along the left side of Hermione, pressing her tongue against the gaps formed in between each of her ribs. "But seeing as how I should have been the one to protect you, I suppose I'd better make it up to you, little babe..."

_Oh. Really? So this is going to happen,_ Hermione thought. She hadn't given much consideration to whether she and Bellatrix would progress to the next stage in their relationship, but it seemed that the other witch had, judging by the way she was removing each item of Hermione's clothes from her. Although she could have protested, too nervous and not ready to do this, Hermione knew that Bellatrix wouldn't understand. Just because she had never forced Hermione to perform sexual acts against her will, now that they had a mutual unspoken agreement to be together it would just be what Bellatrix expected.

As Bellatrix removed her bra, Hermione froze. This was the furthest she had ever gone with anyone; even Ron had only ever seen her with her clothes on. Granted, Bellatrix had already watched her have a bath, but that was different, if only because their relationship was non-existent at that point. It just felt like too much, too soon, and even though Hermione loved Bellatrix, she couldn't feel entirely comfortable with her in this situation.

Even though Hermione had decided not to say anything, Bellatrix sensed her reluctance anyway. "What's wrong?" she asked impatiently.

"Nothing," Hermione said, keeping her tone as light as possible, though she overdid it slightly and ended up speaking in a high-pitched tone that was unfamiliar to her ears. Closing her eyes, she attempted to distract Bellatrix with another kiss, only for the raven haired woman to push her away, backwards onto the bed.

"Tell me what the problem is," Bellatrix instructed her.

Remaining silent, Hermione avoided eye contact. The signs that this was going to turn into an argument were already here, and she didn't want to encourage them further. It seemed, however, she would have to say something, as Bellatrix was still waiting for her to talk, and she could feel the older witch staring at her, waiting for her to speak. In an attempt at placating her, Hermione managed to say, "There's no problem... I'm just nervous. I've never... you know... done this before."

"You've never had sex?" Bellatrix said bluntly.

Hermione shook her head.

"What, _ever_?" Bellatrix said, sounding shocked. "With a male or female?"

"No," Hermione reiterated. "Just because I'm of age, it doesn't mean that I automatically went and jumped into bed with the first person I vaguely fancied. I'm not like that."

She forced herself to look at Bellatrix, observing her reaction. The surprise was still evident in her expression, as well as something unidentifiable. There was none of the usual anger, frustration or irritation, which was a relief to behold, but other than that, Hermione couldn't work out how Bellatrix felt. She seemed to be debating what she wanted to say to Hermione next, for she seemed unsure of how to respond to Hermione's roundabout way of saying _"I'm a virgin."_

Finally, Bellatrix said, "I suppose that after what you told me before, I assumed you had already lost your virginity."

"You mean what I said to you in the bathroom... that day?" Hermione asked, awkwardly referring to the time that Bellatrix had cruelly only allowed her to take a cold bath. Trying to aggravate Bellatrix, she had implied that she wasn't a virgin as she had already had sex with two pure-bloods. It was a complete lie, but at the time, Bellatrix had believed her, and the subject hadn't come up since considering that there had been more important things like the fate of the wizarding world to worry about.

"Yes," Bellatrix said, and now it was her who looked uncomfortable; perhaps at the reminder of her previous behaviour towards Hermione.

Hermione sighed. She was going to have to just tell Bellatrix the truth, no matter how humiliating it would feel. She simply wasn't ready yet. "I was trying to wind you up, Bella. It's true, there have been others who have wanted me to... you know. But I never have because I didn't want to. Honestly, I just don't feel comfortable with the idea right now. I want to be with you, and I think you're beautiful, but I can't. I'm sorry," she said desperately.

"Why didn't you say this before I started to undress you?" Bellatrix asked, and although there was irritation in her voice, she picked up the nightdress from underneath the pillow next to her, and helped Hermione to pull it over her head. More adequately dressed, Hermione pulled her own jeans off, tossing them to the floor. She would really need to shower in the morning, but for the moment, she couldn't bring herself to care. Apparently, Bellatrix didn't either, as she pulled Hermione onto her lap.

"I thought you'd be furious," Hermione admitted, focusing on the conversation again.

"Remember what I said to you before?" Bellatrix said. As Hermione looked at her blankly, she elaborated, "I would _never _force you to have sex. The idea has never appealed to me in my life; do you really think I'm going to lie on top of you and just ignore the look of horror on your face? Especially considering the extent of what I have risked to have you here with me?"

"It didn't bother you when you tortured me," Hermione said. "The more I begged, the worse it became."

Bellatrix groaned, rubbing her head in her hands as though she had a headache. "That was different. Rape is... well quite frankly it's a vile, horrendous act to commit. I wouldn't rape anyone, least of all you, little babe."

Privately, Hermione thought that throwing the Cruciatus Curse at somebody just for the fun of it was also vile and horrendous, but then Bellatrix was the insane one out of the two of them. Instead, she said dryly, "I'm glad."

Bellatrix missed the sarcasm, as she added, "Besides, it was a long time ago."

"Not that long ago!" Hermione exclaimed, unable to stop herself from responding to that particular justification. ""It was less than a year ago!"

"Fine, whatever," Bellatrix said dismissively, evidently not understanding why Hermione was protesting. "But even so, that is not what we are now. I haven't locked you in a room or... or done anything this evening to make you think I am going to hurt you again."

"That doesn't mean you won't," Hermione said, voicing her greatest fear for the first time. It was quite possible that if she goaded Bellatrix hard enough during a fight one day that the older witch would physically punish Hermione for it. Her life had resolved around torture, even before her imprisonment in Azkaban, and there were probably experiences that Hermione hadn't even considered in her own head that Bellatrix had been through herself. Nobody became the person she was today without having some sort of damaged past. Even Voldemort himself had a seriously screwed up childhood. Ok, so he probably would have still turned out to be horrendously power mad obsessive psychopath even if he had a stable upbringing, but no one would ever know that for sure.

"Yes, I might," Bellatrix agreed. "Especially if you don't listen to me. But I will never, ever go as far as I have done in the past, even if I do slip up every now and then. You have to remember that I chose you, and all the risks I have taken have been for us. You should accept that much about me at the very least."

Even despite Bellatrix's implication that she would be in charge of their relationship, Hermione still felt heartened by her pointing out that she had been chosen over Voldemort. "I do," she said gently.

"On the whole, I'm glad that you're a virgin. Sex isn't something that should be rushed into without serious thought," Bellatrix continued. "You know, I would even agree to waiting until after marriage if that's what you want, as that is what we are taught within pure-blood society."

Hermione wasn't brave enough to ask Bellatrix at this stage whether this is what she had done, and merely considered her words. It had never been her own intention to wait until after marriage; as far as she was concerned, so long as she was in a loving, stable relationship, then it was acceptable. Of course, her relationship with Bellatrix was anything but stable, but she chose to see this particular situation as an exception to the rule. Her feelings for Bellatrix were stronger than they had been or ever would be for anyone else because of Semper Amor, which was really the only thing that counted. At present there was danger between them whilst they were together considering Bellatrix's volatile nature, but no danger of them splitting up, unless Bellatrix did something unforgivably awful that even Hermione couldn't get past.

Of course, there was also the implication that they would one day be married to consider. Same-sex marriage was something that was accepted in wizarding society, and the only prejudice tended to come from the old, pure-blood families, like Bellatrix's. However, the fact that she was casually bringing marriage into conversation made Hermione happy; it seemed that marriage was something Bellatrix was willing to consider, for otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned it.

"I don't want to wait until after marriage because I know it'll probably be years until we are married," Hermione confided. "But I do want to wait until I'm ready myself."

"Then let's just sleep," Bellatrix suggested, scooping Hermione off her lap, and pulling her underneath the covers. She reached for the wand next to her, and flicked it with her wrist, drawing the room into darkness.

"You're really prepared to wait until I'm ready?" Hermione whispered, not quite able to let the topic lie yet.

"Yes," Bellatrix told her firmly. "Until then, this will have to suffice."

Hermione opened her mouth to ask what _this_ referred to, but her question was soon answered by the hand that snaked around her waist, dragging her body tightly into Bellatrix's. Smiling, she buried her head into Bellatrix's neck, kissing her throat and drawing a contented sigh from the older witch. For the moment, this was enough. The war was over and they could lie together for the first time, truly safe, and not concern themselves with anything but rest. That was something to be happy about.

Smiling, Hermione fell into a sound sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

My head hurts so not much to say in reply to the reviews this time, I'm afraid, other than that you rock as always my darlings. :3

**There is an additional warning for this chapter that the memory may be distressing for some**.

Oh and **GothicPheonix**- Thanks for pointing that out, I'm going to edit it now! :)

* * *

_Light up, light up_

_As if you have a choice_

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear_

_Snow Patrol, Run_

* * *

**_22._**

The next day, since waking, showering, and eating breakfast, all Hermione had done was argue with Bellatrix about her wand. As much as Hermione wanted there to be a blissful period where they got along and everything was sweetness and light, it was quickly becoming apparent to her that Bellatrix was entirely incapable of behaving like an adult. Despite the fact that she had only just woken, Hermione was already mentally drained, and wished that Bellatrix could have at least given her a few hours' peace.

Hermione was currently still in possession of Bellatrix's first, dragon heartstring wand, and had been ever since the skirmish at Malfoy Manor. As much as she didn't want to use the wand, it was the only one that she had at present available to her. Bellatrix on the other hand had the new wand she had used at the Battle; one which she proudly proclaimed Voldemort had provided her with, before she looked sheepish upon the realisation that this did not impress Hermione in the slightest.

As far as Hermione was concerned, she didn't want a wand with a horrible history stored in its' memory, but she doubted that a new wand was an option at present. The wizarding world was still recovering in the immediate aftermath of the war, and the chance of there being a wand shop such as Ollivanders open was highly unlikely. Bellatrix however, didn't share her opinion.

The main reason they were arguing at the moment was due to the fact that Bellatrix had requested her old wand back, stating that she preferred it to her new one. So far Hermione had steadfastly refused to give it up to her, knowing that Bellatrix had used the wand to commit hateful crimes over the years, and indeed that it was the wand she used against Hermione whilst they were still enemies. Nevertheless, each time that Hermione refused, Bellatrix insisted more and more that she wanted it back, until she started to become annoyed. _As usual._

"I want my original wand back. Now!" Bellatrix said forcefully.

"You used this wand to do terrible things. No," Hermione refused, standing her ground. She sensed that the conversation may take a turn for the worse, but for the moment she wasn't too worried. After all, she had to get used to Bellatrix's mood swings and rages, if the last twelve hours or so were anything to go by.

"It's still my wand," Bellatrix protested sullenly, pouting and looking childlike.

"_No, _Bellatrix," Hermione refused, more firmly than before. What would it take to make Bellatrix understand how important this issue was to Hermione?

"It isn't your decision to make," Bellatrix whined.

"I just don't see what the problem is when the wand you're using now works perfectly well. You said so yourself!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Because I want the wand that I have had since I was a child," Bellatrix protested. "I bonded well with it."

Hermione felt as though she was faced with a four year old who just couldn't listen to logic and reason. There was absolutely no need for Bellatrix to switch wands other than the fact that she was just being choosy. It wasn't a case of there being an issue with bonding, considering that the wand Bellatrix currently used also had a dragon heartstring core, and was similar in many ways to her first wand, other than the fact it was only twelve inches as opposed to twelve and three quarters. Such a difference was entirely minor, however, and Bellatrix was simply being difficult for the sake of it. _Again, as usual._

"You tortured me with this wand," Hermione said dryly, holding up Bellatrix's first wand in her hand. "Did that help you_ bond_ with it?"

Bellatrix at least had the decency to flush slightly at this. "That is irrelevant."

"No Bella, it's not," Hermione insisted. "You don't need this wand anymore. You're supposed to be making a new start, and you already want the one thing that enabled you to hurt people. The memories contained in this wand don't even bear thinking about! Please, will you just let this go? For me?"

Hermione was unsure if such emotional blackmail would actually work on Bellatrix, but it was worth finding out now for the future. Besides, nothing else that she had said so far had an impact on Bellatrix, so it was time to step things up a gear as far as she was concerned. This was something that Hermione felt strongly about, and she was not prepared to back down. Admittedly, her bossy side was coming out, but she considered that after all the terrible things Bellatrix had done to her, she was entitled to a moment or two of getting her own way. It wasn't revenge as such, but it would make her feel just a bit bloody better, that was for certain.

To Bellatrix's credit, she didn't reply immediately, apparently thinking the request over when faced with Hermione's emotional argument. It was like something in her had clicked, and she no longer had a little-girl expression on her face. Eventually, when she did reply, she said slowly, "I have a suggestion."

Hermione frowned. This she hadn't been expecting. "What suggestion?"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, apparently irritated. "I won't ever use the wand; I'll just keep it for myself and I'll continue using the one I have now."

"Why do you want to keep it then?" Hermione asked, perplexed

"It is a reminder of when I was young," Bellatrix said, for once sounding entirely sincere. "That is the wand I used to learn magic; is it really so wrong that I want it as a reminder of my past good memories?"

Hermione found it hard to picture Bellatrix as a young witch, but she supposed that even considering what she had grown into, she still would have experienced some of the initial excitement that Hermione had when she went to Ollivander's to pick out her first wand. Even the pure-bloods still had similar experiences; they just tended to act more reserved around others, and displayed happiness with a great deal more arrogance. Bellatrix would not have let go to the same extent that Hermione had when she bought her wand, but she probably still felt a similar sort of pride at finally being given the opportunity of having her own wand.

"Ok," Hermione said, agreeing. "I'll give it to you when I have a new wand myself, on the condition that you never use it."

Contrary to the pleased reaction Hermione was expecting, Bellatrix looked angry instead. "You know, I imagined that after the war ended you would still do as I said. Evidently, that's not the case."

For a second or two, Hermione was taken aback at the unexpected change in Bellatrix. She had gone from being childish, to being rational, to sudden anger. There were so many emotions in such little time that Hermione barely knew where she stood, because despite the fact that she knew more about Bellatrix than before, there was still a great deal that she had to learn and understand about the older witch. Moreover, she accepted that it would probably take years until she understood everything about her, and that there may be certain things about Bellatrix that always remained a mystery. At the same time, she needed to make it clear that now the war was over and they were actively in a relationship together, that she didn't intend to spend the rest of her life walking on eggshells around Bellatrix. Sometimes, Bellatrix would have to accept that she couldn't do as she pleased or have what she wanted, because life was about giving as well as taking.

"I'm not your toy," Hermione said sharply, standing up for herself. "This is supposed to be an equal relationship, Bellatrix. You need to learn to accept that."

"Actually, I was under the impression that you were happy to allow me to take control," Bellatrix snapped. "You said that you would still do as I wanted; the same as before."

"I think you'll find that what I said was that I would still be here. There's a difference," Hermione pointed out.

"Well I want you here doing as you're told. I want you to realise that you answer to me forever, because you _belong to me_," Bellatrix answered, as if it was the most ordinary request in the world.

_ Is she serious?_ How could Bellatrix ever think that Hermione would be ok with living in a cell for the rest of her life, doing as she was instructed? She had only ever been forced to submit to Bellatrix, and would never do so willingly; especially for the rest of her life. Even if Bellatrix was naturally the more dominant one in their relationship, that didn't mean Hermione was going to roll over and quite literally take the abuse hurled at her. That was not the person she was, or somebody she would ever become. Above all else, that wasn't _normal. _An abductor and a captive had that sort of sick bond, not two people who were supposed to be in love, even if it was through an ancient magical love. _Even if we used to be abductor and captive._

"Not... not like your slave or someone you can... can order about," Hermione stammered, nauseated by the implication. "Or cage, for that matter." Her plan to stand her ground with Bellatrix had gone completely out of the window, for she was entirely thrown by Bellatrix's latest admission. She couldn't think clearly, and Hermione didn't know what to say or do to get through to Bellatrix how very wrong her wishes were.

"Well I don't want to keep you in a cell anymore, but I do want you to behave yourself," Bellatrix said casually, as if that made everything ok.

Did Bellatrix really mean that? She wanted to control Hermione in every way possible; she just wouldn't lock her up anymore? That was _twisted_, but so like Bellatrix to think such a thing. She had never really had a normal relationship; her marriage with Rodolphus was practically forced on her, and she had spent years devoting her life to Voldemort. The most normal relationship she had was with Narcissa, and even then she still seemed to be the one in charge, especially considering that she was the older sister.

"How can you think I would be ok with you telling me what to do?" Hermione said, her voice shaking. "I didn't agree to those terms at all."

"Because that was what I assumed you meant, when you gave your permission for me to be in control," Bellatrix said coldly. "Just because I want to share my bed with you, it doesn't mean that I'm happy for you not allow me to make my own decisions."

"Likewise!" Hermione shot back, her voice slightly hysterical. _Don't cry, don't cry._ "I meant that you would be in control of your own everyday choices, not in control of matters that I feel strongly about!"

"You have no right to force your opinion on me," Bellatrix snapped.

"Is this about the wand?" Hermione asked desperately. "Because if it's that important to you, then just take it!" She drew the wand from her own pocket, and threw it towards Bellatrix. It landed at her feet, where she stood opposite her in the sitting room. Hermione looked down at it, her blood was boiling with rage, sickness, and every other horrible feeling that Bellatrix managed to draw out of her.

"This isn't just about the wand," Bellatrix responded, a hiss in her voice.

"Last night then?" Hermione tried again, referring to her reluctance and eventual refusal to be intimate with Bellatrix for the first time. "You really do have a problem with waiting for me to..."

"No!" Bellatrix interrupted. "I accepted that! You behaved as I imagined you should, waiting for me to call you on your behaviour, and allowing me to practically make the decision for you. That was fine. Now however, you are trying to tell me what to do, and that, _sweetheart_, is what I have a problem with. I don't take orders from somebody like you!"

Hermione understood in that moment what exactly was going on. Bellatrix was not angry with her because she was trying to take her wand from her, she was angry because someone she deemed as less worth as a witch than herself was telling her what to do. Hermione's blood status was still a huge problem for Bellatrix no matter what she claimed, and despite the fact that she stated Hermione was an exception to her general beliefs. No, this was so much more than just Bellatrix throwing a tantrum. She couldn't accept Hermione's instructions because she wouldn't allow herself to take orders from just another _Mudblood_.

Hermione made a decision. Voicing her thoughts aloud, she said in a surprisingly strong voice, "If you can't accept that as a Muggle-born I should be equal to you, then this relationship is _never_ going to work."

Bellatrix laughed horribly. "You won't leave, because like it or not, you _need _me, _Mudblood_."

There it was; that hurtful name. Hermione resolved not to retaliate with her own insult, knowing that Bellatrix had said it to provoke a reaction out of her.

"And you need me too," Hermione said instead, as calmly as possible. "But let me tell you something; you need me far more than I need you. I have friends, support, a positive reputation within the wizarding community. You have your sister and nephew, and not a whole lot else. You're_ hated_, Bellatrix, and I'm the only one who can help to change people's perceptions of you."

Before she knew it, Bellatrix had crossed the room and gripped her by the throat. "You_ dare_ to turn your back on me now and I will kill you. And don't think I won't, because if you walk away, believe me, the anger I feel towards you will far overcome any feelings I may have."

Refusing to allow herself to be scared, (for less than twenty-four hours ago she had fought to defeat the greatest Dark Wizard of all time) Hermione held her head up high, and said in as resolute a voice as she could muster considering that Bellatrix was constricting her airway, "Then kill me."

"Excuse me?" Bellatrix said, taken aback. She loosened her grip on Hermione's neck ever so slightly.

"Kill me," Hermione repeated. "Because you will have _nothing_. You will be thrown into Azkaban and never released. You won't even have the option of trying to turn to Voldemort, because guess what? He's_ dead_." She glanced down at Bellatrix's left forearm, where the Dark Mark had almost faded, to back up her statement.

Breathing hard, Bellatrix stared at her. She spat venomously, "I hate you."

"I hate you too," Hermione said with as much force as she could muster, ignoring the shooting pain in her neck from where Bellatrix held her. "Unfortunately, I also love you. Let go of me, Bella."

For several seconds, Bellatrix seemed to have an internal struggle with herself. If she released Hermione then it would be like she was allowing her to win, but if she kept hold of her, she would achieve nothing. Choosing the latter would mean hurting Hermione so badly that she left, or killing her, in which case she would lose anyway. Smart enough to realise that would be her worst option, Bellatrix let go of Hermione, standing backwards, apparently shocked at how far she had let things get, and her own behaviour.

Knowing that now was not the time to fight with Bellatrix or to be angry with her for behaving in the only way she knew how to, Hermione bravely stepped towards her once more. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around Bellatrix, pulling the shorter witch's head against her collarbone, and gently holding her in place there. "I won't leave you, I promise. All you have to do in return is value me as a person."

Bellatrix remained silent, keeping her head buried against Hermione. Briefly, Hermione wondered if she was crying, showing weakness, but somehow, she didn't imagine that Bellatrix was capable of such emotions yet, if at all. Still, on the off chance that she was wrong, she allowed Bellatrix to hide her face from view, knowing that she needed a private moment when she could listen to Hermione without being judged for the expression on her face.

"You can have the wand when I have a new one, Bellatrix, but please don't use it. Just do this one tiny thing for me. I know you've already done so much, but I've risked a lot for you too. And if you promise to start trying to see me as your equal,, then I'll help people to understand that they don't need to hate you, or Narcissa or Draco. It's going to be tough for the next few months, but I promise that things will change. The one thing about the Order is that they forgive a hell of a lot more easily than Voldemort did," Hermione told her. "It'll be ok."

"I won't use the wand," Bellatrix mumbled into Hermione's chest. "And I'll try for you."

Relieved and grateful, Hermione smiled. She placed a kiss atop Bellatrix's head, the witch's raven curls tickling her skin as she lowered her mouth. "Good," she said softly. "Are you ready to look at me yet?"

Bellatrix lifted her head, and Hermione noted that there was no sign of tears. However, there was a vulnerability in Bellatrix's eyes that Hermione had barely ever witnessed, and she reminded herself to tread carefully and to take the chance to nurture the good in Bellatrix whilst she could. For this reason, she slowly drew their mouths together, and sucked on Bellatrix's bottom lip. She swirled her tongue around Bellatrix's, hoping to distract the raven haired beauty entirely from the intense argument that had just taken place. This was the proof she offered to Bellatrix that she wasn't angry, and that things were going to be ok between them, even after Bellatrix had hurt her.

Eventually, Hermione hoped that one day Bellatrix would never want to attack her again, and that she was entirely capable of change. Wrong or right, she chose not to see it as abuse; at least, not in the conventional form. Reward and punishment was all that Bellatrix had ever known; she didn't know what it was just to fight and make up. It would be down to Hermione to teach her that.

It was a knock on the door that forced Hermione to part from Bellatrix, and distracted her from the argument entirely. "Do you know who that could be?" she asked, a little breathless.

Bellatrix nodded, taking a deep breath and pushing her hair back from her face. "The Longbottom boy. When you were in the Headmaster's office last night, he cornered me and demanded that I carry out my promise to him that I would show him Rodolphus's memory of the night his parents were tortured."

Hermione gawped. "Is he really up to that so soon?"

With a shrug, Bellatrix pulled away from Hermione entirely, and walked out into the hallway. "Not my concern. He wanted to see the memory as soon as possible, and I want to get this over with. Besides, the Ministry are going to be examining the memories I have shortly, to check they haven't been tampered with or altered, so it may be the only chance I get to show him for a while."

As Bellatrix opened the door and stood back to allow Neville entry, Hermione tried not to look too shocked at Bellatrix's politeness towards Neville. In turn, he looked wary, and there was still hatred in his eyes as he gazed at Bellatrix. Nevertheless, he didn't say anything offensive, and just followed her up the stairs quietly, and towards the library where Hermione knew the Pensieve to be. Walking behind, Hermione followed, under the assumption that her presence would help to keep Neville calm, especially as they reached the library, and walked towards the cabinet containing vials of memories.

Hermione couldn't help staring around in wonderment at all of the books she was surrounded by, for this was the first time she had entered the library. Although she imagined many of the books to relate to the Dark Arts considering the family that Bellatrix had come from, there were more than likely many interesting reads that hopefully she would be privileged enough to read someday soon. It was hard for her to focus on the current situation, so distracted was she by being surrounded with one of her many loves; books of all shapes and sizes.

"Are you ready?" Bellatrix asked, getting straight down to business. She poured the memory into the Pensieve, waiting for Neville to enter.

Neville nodded, his face white. As of yet he hadn't spoken a single world to either Bellatrix or Hermione, and he looked terrified at what he was about to witness. Hermione didn't blame him in the slightest.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked him gently.

Neville considered her offer. "I... I don't know." His voice sounded smaller than it usually did, making him sound like a little boy.

Noticing Bellatrix opening her mouth, Hermione realised that she looked as though she was about to say something rude. Shooting her a warning look over Neville's shoulder, Hermione was relieved when she snapped her jaw closed again. Evidently, she was beginning to learn.

"Well, how about I come with you, and then I'll just stay silent?" Hermione suggested. "I'll move into the background so you won't even know I'm there."

Neville nodded. "Ok. That sounds... that's ok."

Hermione squeezed his shoulder in a gesture of support. "Let's go then."

* * *

**_November 1981_**

_Rodolphus, Rabastan and Barty Crouch Junior stood silently outside the property, wands drawn. Without uttering a word, they seemed to agree silently on the plan of action, and with one swift swipe from Rabastan, the door flew open, and the group entered. They ran into the kitchen, taking the Longbottom's by surprise as they were eating their dinner. The unarmed Aurors were powerless to fight as they were magically restrained, for they weren't in possession of their wands. Frightened, they whimpered on the floor as the three Death Eaters circled them, wands drawn and pointed directly at them. The only part of their bodies that Frank and Alice were able to move were their heads, and so they turned to gaze at each other silently, a terrified look in their eyes. _

_"Where is the Dark Lord?" Rodolphus asked sharply, looking as though he was in no mood for games._

_There was no reply._

_"I'll ask you again," Rodolphus said, growing impatient. "Where is the Dark Lord?"_

_"We... we don't know. He's dead," Frank denied, panting._

_Rodolphus didn't waste any more time at all. "Crucio!" he yelled, watching as Frank writhed in pain. "Tell us!"_

_"Stop, please!" Alice shouted, pleading for her husband. "We don't know! We don't know!"_

_"Lies!" Barty screeched, echoing Rodolphus. "Tell us the truth!"_

_"Please! Please, we don't know," Alice repeated, and she cried out as she was hit with the Cruciatus Curse, just as her husband had been._

_Rabastan, Rodolphus and Barty took it in turns to repeat the same question over and over, and when they were given the same reply, they continued to use the same curse. By far, the most skilled at performing the curse was Rodolphus, and so he took charge of the situation. Unfortunately, the Death Eater's didn't appear to be getting anywhere fast, and so Rodolphus decided to take things further. Wordlessly, he looked at Barty and Rabastan, watching as they nodded their head, apparently aware of his intentions. It seemed that they had already discussed what they would do if the Longbottom's wouldn't help them, and now it was time to kick things up a notch._

_"Now," Rodolphus said._

_"CRUCIO!" All three yelled, pointed their wands at Alice. They watched as Frank screamed, begging for his wife, but it made no difference to them at all if he didn't like their actions. _

_Unlike her husband, Alice didn't waste any breath screaming. Instead, she tightly closed her eyes and muttered something under her breath. The Death Eaters didn't appear to have any idea what she was saying, and didn't particular care unless it was useful information for them. Unfortunately it looked as though neither of the Longbottoms' were going to tell them anything they needed to know, and so really, they were causing pain and suffering for the sake of it with only the smallest chance of learning the information they wanted._

_Just as Rodolphus had signalled to the others that it was time to end the curse for the moment, there was a cry from upstairs, Rodolphus wheeled around. "What was that?"_

_"N-nothing," Alice stammered, shooting a terrified glance at her husband. _

_Rodolphus was no fool, however. "Watch them," he ordered, running out of the kitchen and up the stairs. He entered the first room he passed, and discovered a baby in a cot, crying. Grinning at his new bargaining tool, he roughly pulled the baby upwards and ran back down the stairs with him._

_"Look what I found," he said._

_"What are we supposed to do with that?" Rabastan asked, looking disgusted. "Put it back where you found it, brother. You don't know where these filthy, animalistic freaks have been with it! They could have been socialising with Muggles for all we know."_

_At once, Rodolphus dangled Neville, dropping him on the floor heavily. He landed on his backside with a thud, and cried out immediately after his body connected with the floor._

_"Not Neville, please," Alice interrupted, begging and crying heavily. "He's just a baby. Please, no!"_

_Seeing that his mother was crying, Neville too began to cry harder. "Mama... mama..." he said through his tears, repeating the word over and over. _

_"It's ok Neville, it's ok my darling," Alice sobbed, trying to compose herself for his sake. She turned back to Rodolphus and said angrily, "Can't you see he's upset? He's just a baby; leave him alone!"_

_Rodolphus knelt down next to her. "I couldn't give a flying fuck about your brat." Murmuring, he flicked his wand, once more inflicting the Cruciatus Curse, glancing over at Neville every now and then to smirk at his reaction, and the fact that he was bashing his tiny little fists on the floor._

_Copying Rodolphus, Rabastan began to perform the same curse on Frank, and together they stood, allowing the curse to go on for several minutes before they stopped. Barty had started to get twitchy, and was looking out of the window, on the lookout for Aurors._

_"Where is the Dark Lord?" Rabastan repeated. "Tell us, and we will make your death quick and painless. We'll even spare the boy."_

_"We... we would tell you if we knew," Frank said, using all his strength to talk over Neville's crying. "All we have been told is that he is dead. Please... our son... Neville..."_

_Neville screamed even louder at the look on his father's face._

_"It's ok son... it's ok. Me and mummy... we love you," Frank said, trying to reach out to Neville. _

_"Yes darling, we love you so very much," Alice repeated, still sobbing, attempting to shuffle closer to Neville._

_The binding jinx you used has worn off," Rabastan said to Rodolphus quietly. "They're moving again."_

_"It doesn't matter; neither of them have the energy left to fight," Rodolphus replied, casually flicking his wand and causing Frank to shriek in pain. _

_Over the next hour the Cruciatus Curse was used again and again, with Neville crying manically for his parents. The Death Eaters did nothing to placate him, leaving Neville to crawl around his parents alone, who kept talking to him, despite the constant pain they were in, They ignored all questions from the Death Eaters, instead preferring to tell their son that it was going to be ok, and that he had nothing to worry about. Each time his mother spoke to him, Neville would grasp her hand, only for it to be torn away as the Cruciatus Curse hit her once more. The pattern was beginning to get repetitive, and everyone involved knew that soon the scene would draw to a close._

_"They're not budging," Rodolphus said, breathing heavily. "Well, if that's the way you want to play it."_

_Alice mumbled something incoherent, her eyes closed. Neville clung onto her hand next to her, his head resting against her arm._

_Walking towards Alice, Rodolphus kicked her out of the way, and dragged Neville backwards on the floor, ignoring his shrieks. "Maybe if the life of your son is at stake, you'll take us a little more seriously."_

_There was nothing but silence from both Frank and Alice Longbottom._

_"No? Well then," Rodolphus hissed, and he raised his wand._

_"Rodolphus!" A female voice called, all three of the Death Eaters turned to see Bellatrix Lestrange walk into the room. She sneered down at the Longbottoms. "What are you doing?"_

_"The child," Rodolphus said. "If we kill the child, maybe they'll talk."_

_Bellatrix looked down at Alice Longbottom, who was now curled in a ball moaning, and Frank Longbottom who was staring vacantly drool coming out of his mouth. "They're not capable of speech at all! What did you do?" She stared at the other Death Eaters, anger reflected in her features._

_"Cruciatus Curse," Rodolphus said gruffly. "You use it all the time to..."_

_"Fool!" Bellatrix shrieked, and she waved her wand to send Rodolphus flying backwards into Barty and Rabastan, where the three crumpled in a heap on the floor. "Consistent and constant use will render the individuals it is performed on incoherent and brain damaged! How are we ever going to find the Dark Lord now?" Enraged, there was another bang as she flicked her wand, and Rodolphus cried out in pain._

_Rodolphus mumbled, "If we use the child..."_

_ "No," Bellatrix interjected sharply. "It is a lost cause! Don't you see the state they are in? Using the child will achieve nothing!"_

_"Then let's just kill the child out of revenge," Rodolphus suggested, beginning to compose himself. "Teach the wizarding world that this isn't over."_

_"No," Bellatrix repeated angrily. "They won't even know we've done it... their minds are addled. Our efforts are best spent looking for another trail leading to our Lord."_

_At that moment, there was a knock on the door, and scrambling up, the three Death Eaters watched Bellatrix expectantly, waiting for instruction. When none came, Rabastan said in a panicked voice, "It could be Aurors if they suspect something is wrong? But how?"_

_"Never mind how," Bellatrix hissed. "It's time to leave!"_

_Disregarding her, Rodolphus walked over towards Neville, and raised his wand. "Let me just..."_

_Hissing, Bellatrix sent him flying backwards against the wall, where his head cracked sickeningly, and he slumped to the floor._

_"You bitch!" Rabastan said. "What did you do that for?"_

_There was another more insistent knock on the door._

_"He doesn't listen!" Bellatrix said furiously. "Come!"_

_There was a crash._

_Throughout, Neville sat quietly, watching his parents. His mum wasn't crying anymore, and he smiled at her, seemingly not at all worried by her eerily calm state. Bellatrix had her eyes focused on him as all four Death Eaters Disapparated, and then everything faded to white. _

* * *

After exiting the memory, there was silence in the room. Hermione kept her eyes fixed on Neville, who slumped onto the floor, tears leaking out of his eyes. She couldn't bear to look at Bellatrix yet, not after seeing the memory. It was true, Bellatrix hadn't participated, but merely seeing that she had been part of such a horrendous attack was enough to sicken Hermione. It was worse after seeing what Neville's parents had gone through and how they had suffered despite genuinely not knowing anything about Voldemort's whereabouts.

"What happened after you had gone?"

Neville had asked the question in a fairly neutral tone, but he still stared ahead of him, as though in shock.

"We tried to run," Bellatrix said. There was no note of anger, irritability, upset or happiness in her voice. Like Neville, she sounded impassive. "But the Aurors caught sight of us just before we Disapparated, and quickly caught up with us. I assume they took your parents straight to St. Mungo's."

"Why didn't you kill me?" Neville asked, sounding eerily calm.

"It wouldn't have achieved anything," Bellatrix replied with a shrug.

"Since when did that bother you?" There was now a hint of agitation in Neville's voice, as though he was becoming more aware of his surroundings and coming out of the trance he seemed to be in.

Bellatrix moved towards Neville, and sat on the floor opposite him. She didn't look sympathetic, but she seemed willing enough to talk to him. Although surprised, Hermione kept her mouth shut, not wanting to intrude on the conversation. She would stay out of this unless Neville brought her into it, or the situation became too tense and it seemed that Bellatrix and Neville may start to duel. It seemed like a possibility, especially considering the current state that Neville was in. He was still facing forward as though he was a Hogwarts statue, and hadn't even attempted to brush away the tears that were steadily leaking down his face.

"You are a pure-blood. As you have already witnessed yourself, the Dark Lord is... _was_... reluctant to kill pure-bloods. He would only do so if absolutely needed, and it wasn't necessary to kill you. It is exactly why he gave you the option to support him whilst at the Battle yesterday; he genuinely would have allowed you to become a servant if you had sworn your loyalty to him," Bellatrix revealed. "Besides, Draco was your age at the time, and had I done anything to harm you, Narcissa would never have forgiven me. She never did like violence against babies and children, and she's the only person I cared about at the time so..."

"Wait," Neville interrupted. "Why don't I remember any of that? Even Harry has some flashbacks, but with me, there's nothing!"

"I don't know. Perhaps because yours is a normal memory and you didn't possess the connection that Potter does... _did_... with the Dark Lord," Bellatrix answered.

"Oh," Neville replied. Then, blinking, he seemed to remember where he was and aware of the way he was acting, he stood shakily. He turned to Hermione, who watched him worriedly, not knowing if he was going to be ok or not. Seeming to sense this, Neville gave her a platonic hug, and upon drawing away, he said, "I'm going. I... I need to be on my own before I explain to Gran what I've just seen. I'll see you soon, I suppose."

Hermione nodded sympathetically. "Do you want me to go home with you and take you to your grandmother?"

Neville shook his head. "No, no. I'll be fine." As if he had suddenly remembered that Bellatrix was in the room, he faced her, and wiped his expression of emotion. "I still hate you, Bellatrix. You knew what was happening to my parents, even if you didn't take part or intend for them to end up in the state they are today. But at the same time, in a twisted sort of way, I owe my life to you. I wish I didn't, but I do and nothing will change that. You saved me at the Battle, and you saved me when I was a baby."

Bellatrix raised an eyebrow. "Is there a point to all of this?"

"The point is that if you stay away from me, I'll stay away from you. I feel like... like I have closure, now. I've never heard my parents say they loved me, not once. Now though, I've heard it for myself, and I know that even though they were losing their minds, their only concern was for me," Neville added, his voice breaking.

"I'll be happy to stay away from you," Bellatrix declared. "So we'll probably never have to have another conversation again."

"No, we won't," Neville said, agreeing. "But you should know that if you do anything to hurt Hermione, it isn't just Ron and Harry you have to worry about, it'll be me too."

"Not that it's any of your business, Longbottom, but I don't intend on doing anything to her," Bellatrix snapped, though Hermione couldn't help remembering the way Bellatrix had treated her today before Neville's arrival. Nevertheless, she kept quiet, knowing now was not the time or place to dispute Bellatrix's statement. "Shall I see you out?" she added, effectively ending the conversation.

"No; I'll see myself out," Neville refused. He gave Hermione a small wave, which she returned, before leaving the library.

Not disputing Neville's choice, Bellatrix watched him leave the library silently. For her part, Hermione too was unable to speak, processing what she had just watched inside the memory of Rodolphus. She could understand how Neville felt as though he had closure by seeing his parents' last moments of sanity, and how it would have helped him to know that they really did love him. On the other hand, she focused on what she had seen in Bellatrix's face as she looked down at the Longbottoms; _pure venom_. It scared her to think that even now, Bellatrix didn't care about what had happened to them, she didn't regret it at all.

"Of course I regret it," Bellatrix said.

"What?" Hermione said, and then realised Bellatrix had been inside her mind again without her realising. "Stop getting into my head! Wait... what? You regret it?"

"The Longbottoms knew nothing. The others had just taken away the brilliant minds of two pure-bloods for no reason at all, and Rodolphus was too _stupid_ to realise along the way what he was doing. Had I been there, I would have realised immediately, and I would have been able to prevent them from doing the damage they did," Bellatrix elaborated.

"You wouldn't have let them go free," Hermione stated.

"No," Bellatrix said. "I would probably have tried to persuade them of the benefits of supporting the Dark Lord instead."

Hermione stared. She didn't have the energy or the inclination to explain to Bellatrix exactly what was wrong with her reasoning, and so she let the comment pass without comment.

"I wouldn't have tortured them in front of their child, either," Bellatrix continued. "I didn't say anything just now because I couldn't bear trying to be nice to him anymore than I already had, but between us, he must have that memory inside him on some level. It just traumatises him so much that he can't face it as he's blocked it from his mind."

There was still one thing that Hermione needed to know, however. "Why would you care about someone else's baby?" she asked curiously.

"I happen to _like_ babies," Bellatrix said, defensiveness in her voice. "Just because I don't have any children it doesn't mean that I hate them."

"I guess I just assumed that because you don't have any..." Hermione's voice trailed off, but the insinuation hung in the room, unspoken, but heavy on the atmosphere.

"I don't have any children for obvious reasons," Bellatrix said. Hermione assumed that she must have looked blank, because in an irritated tone of voice, Bellatrix added, "One, I was entirely repulsed every time Rodolphus attempted to touch me, and two, pregnancy was the last thing on my mind whilst I was serving the Dark Lord. It doesn't mean that I hate all children; some are entirely pleasant to have around. Such as the quiet ones."

"Right."

Bellatrix's eyes narrowed. "Yes? Did you have something to say on the matter?"

Hermione shook her head. Apparently, she was never going to understand Bellatrix. Just when she thought she must know all there was to figure out about her, the older witch went and said something else that was surprising. The idea of Bellatrix actually liking children had never occurred to her, mainly because she didn't have any of her own. Whatever the case, Hermione was not going to press Bellatrix any further, as considering everything that had already happened before lunch on their first day together, it would be nice to spend the rest of the day relaxing. Therefore Hermione chose to accept Bellatrix's answer, and summoned the courage to pick a book at random from one of the shelves behind her. With a smile on her face, she took a seat on one of the armchairs and curled her legs up to read peacefully, for the first time in what felt like forever.


	23. Chapter 23

I found the reviews that mentioned the wand really interesting. Personally I can see both points of view, because whilst the wand for Hermione would be a reminder of all the horrendous things that Bellatrix did to her using the wand, for Bellatrix it is her personal possession that she has had since childhood.

Thanks for all the feedback as always, my darlings! :)

**ThisLife103.7**- Right about now would be the answer to that. :)

**Eryk Lestrange-** That's a hard question to answer. In many ways Bellatrix is the dominant one, but Hermione is by no means going to be weak and necessarily allow herself to be told what to do. It depends on the situation too.

**deedeex912-** I haven't planned a relationship for Ron, purely because I have so much to get through related to Bellatrix and Hermione before the end of this fic.

**Whurmy-** Me too... she is so childish sometimes that they're on the same wavelength. :P

**Darkshadow-lord-** Maybe if I did a sequel, depending on how far into the future the sequel is set! Not in this fic though I'm afraid.

**Clemenmore-** As I've said previously, there will be 30 chapters in all. :)

* * *

_It's a new dawn_

_It's a new day_

_It's a new life_

_For me_

_And I'm feeling good_

_Muse, Feeling Good_

* * *

_**23.**_

The next week was fairly uneventful, with Hermione and Bellatrix remaining alone in Black Manor for much of the time. Although they hadn't discussed whether Hermione would stay there on a permanent basis, it seemed as though there was no expectation for her to leave anytime soon considering that Bellatrix hadn't mentioned that she wanted her to live elsewhere. As a result, Hermione had sent letters to Ron and Harry to inform them of her current whereabouts, and to let them know that she was perfectly alright. She had received a rapid response from Harry, but unfortunately, there hadn't been so much as a one word reply from Ron. She tried not to feel too upset by this, understanding Ron's reasons for not wanting to talk to her, but it still hurt regardless. After all, Ron had been one of her best friends before she had become involved with Bellatrix, and she had never wanted to lose him from her life completely.

Ministry officials had arrived to question Bellatrix further one afternoon, and to examine the memories she possessed to make sure they were genuine. As a consequence of this investigation, Kingsley (who had now formally been named as Minister for Magic) arrived the following morning to declare that Bellatrix was free to go about her life, should she abide by the Contract of Expectations he provided her with. The contract stated that she was to attend upon a Soul-Healer for the foreseeable future, she should refrain from using any sort of Dark Magic, and that she was not allowed to curse, jinx or hex any Muggle, witch or wizard regardless of whether she considered that she was justified in doing so.

Bellatrix had been completely insistent that she did not want to see any Soul-Healers, but after half an hour of arguing, Kingsley had informed her in no uncertain terms that she didn't get to bargain. Once he had informed her that she either signed the Contract of Expectations as it was currently written with no amendments whatsoever, or faced a prison sentence in Azkaban for her refusal to comply with Ministry requirements, Bellatrix did as she was told, and reluctantly scrawled her signature upon the Contract, using the quill Kingsley provided her with.

As of yet, Hermione and Bellatrix hadn't discussed the Horcruxes or anything specifically related to Voldemort's death. Hermione had wondered if it would always be this way, or if the topic would eventually be broached. She was happy not to say anything, unaware if Bellatrix, or for that matter anyone else, truly understood the lengths Voldemort had gone to in his bid to achieve immortality. It was by now common knowledge that Voldemort had created Horcruxes; something that Harry had commented upon in his letter, as he wondered whether everyone knowing was wise or not. He was worried that it may lead to unnecessary speculation about any of the terrible events that happened leading up to the war, such as Dumbledore's death, and if it would create fear that something similar could one day happen again. Privately, as selfish as it sounded, Hermione didn't care; she was just grateful that the wizarding world was safe at present.

In addition, Hermione was extremely thankful that she finally had a new wand. Ollivander's was already open once more, and she had joined the queue of witches and wizards (mainly comprised of Muggle-borns) waiting to find a suitable wand on the Thursday that it opened. She was desperate for any wand that wasn't Bellatrix's previous one, though she did as promised and handed it back to Bellatrix to keep as a memory, rather than snapping it in two and throwing it away. Fortunately, it didn't take her too long to get used to her new wand, most likely due to the fact its' core was Dragon heartstring; the same as her own old one that she lost to the Snatchers had been, and indeed the same as both of Bellatrix's wands. She was extremely pleased with her purchase, for she found that her magic worked just the same as it used to with her previous wand.

It was the Monday of the week after when Bellatrix approached Hermione in the library, where she had spent pretty much every single day reading when they weren't together. Whilst Hermione was alone, she had no idea what Bellatrix amused herself with, but she guessed that judging from the bangs and crashes she heard coming from the uppermost level of the house that she was practising spells of some sort. For now she was happy enough to remain in the dark, feeling that there was limited damage Bellatrix could do considering that other than Lemmy, (who by now had fully recovered) they were the only occupants of the house. It was more than likely Bellatrix was merely venting her frustrations, and considering it was probably the healthiest way someone as temperamental as her would do so, Hermione wasn't going to take issue with this. All Hermione was concerned about was making up for the lost time when she had been unable to peruse whatever book she felt like at leisure, and luckily enough, there were hundreds of books she had so far seen that interested her; possibly even thousands. And so, with Bellatrix's unspoken consent, she had spent every day sitting in the same armchair, quietly reading.

"I'm going to see Narcissa," Bellatrix announced, standing in front of her and waiting expectantly. "Come."

"What?" Hermione said, startled and looking up from her book. "I don't think bringing me with you is a good idea, Bella."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "She's not going to do anything to you; especially not if I'm there. Draco neither."

"Lucius?" Hermione said. "Have you considered him?"

"I am more than a match for Lucius," Bellatrix snarled. "If he says or tries one thing, I'll curse him so far that he lands in the middle of a dragon's nest in Egypt."

"That might not be the best idea," Hermione suggested delicately. "You know, considering you want to persuade Narcissa to accept me; I have an inkling that attacking her husband might not be the best way forward. Not to mention the Contract of Expectations that you've just signed."

Bellatrix sighed. "You're probably right," she said mournfully, her agreement surprising Hermione. "Still, if he can't keep his mouth shut and needs be..." Her voice trailed off and she made a violent gesture with her wand.

Hermione grinned. Over the past week Bellatrix had slowly but surely began to relax ever so slightly, possibly having realised that she no longer needed to be on edge anymore. This in turn meant that her mood had greatly improved; she was much calmed and not quite as angry as she used to be. It was the most human that she had ever been, and it was a change that was very much appreciated by Hermione. It had gotten to the stage where she almost didn't mind being in love with someone like Bellatrix because for the first time, it felt as though the good outweighed the bad. _Marginally._

"What are you smiling at?" Bellatrix asked, frowning.

"Nothing," Hermione said, placing her book down, and rising to envelope Bellatrix in a kiss. It was warmly received, and their tongues danced around each other as Hermione pushed Bellatrix against the table behind her. As a result their bodies pressed flush together, and Hermione felt tingles run through her as Bellatrix gently dragged her nails down the nape of her neck. Gasping, Hermione began to kiss along Bellatrix's jaw line, savouring the taste of her skin, and smiling to herself as she drew a low, guttural moan from the older witch.

"Hmm... stop, little babe," Bellatrix rasped. "We'll never go if you carry on..."

Wouldn't you rather stay here anyway and just do this?" Hermione said seductively, tracing a finger along Bellatrix's collarbone.

"Of course," Bellatrix breathed. "But I have to see Narcissa. Besides, you've only left the house twice in the last week and it'll be good to have a change of scenery."

Other than the visit to Ollivanders, Hermione had only left the house to go back to her parent's home and pick up some of her essentials, like clothes, shoes, and the luxuries such as makeup that she hadn't worn in months. Surprisingly, the house looked exactly the same as the way it had been left, as evidently the protective spells that Hermione had placed on it at the start of the war had held out. However, as expected, there was no trace of her parents other than photographs on the walls of the two of them together. Nevertheless, despite Hermione's desire to find her parents immediately, she wasn't ready to search for them, still terrified of what she may possibly find. Anything could have happened to them, and although Bellatrix promised her that as far as she was aware they had not been found by Death Eaters, it didn't do much to curb Hermione's fears. After all, there was evil in Muggle Australia where she believed them to be; not just in the wizarding world.

"Fine," Hermione sighed, knowing that she'd never persuade Bellatrix against seeing her sister and that she may as well face Narcissa today and get the confrontation over and done with. "But at least I've left this house twice more than you have."

"I've had no reason to go out. Anyway, if you can handle me, then Narcissa shouldn't be a problem," Bellatrix said with a shrug.

"I know it's stupid," Hermione admitted, deciding to voice her fear, and part of the reason why she didn't want to face Narcissa. "But I know you love your sister more than you could ever love me. I suppose I'm just worried that she will succeed in turning you against me."

"No," Bellatrix said, shaking her head. "My relationship with Narcissa is entirely different to the one I have with you. Yes, she is my sister, but the fact that I betrayed the Dark Lord for you should speak volumes for the way I feel for you."

For Bellatrix to say such a thing, it was as good as if the words _"I love you"_ had come from her mouth. The simple reminder of all that she had given up for Hermione made her feel a little better, and she knew that Bellatrix was being entirely honest with her in the same way as she knew she had told the truth regarding her parents. Her spirits lifted, she allowed Bellatrix to lead her towards the fireplace, a hand pressed firmly in the small of her back.

"She is expecting us, so we'll Floo there," Bellatrix announced.

Hermione nodded. "Ok. You go first and I'll follow?"

"Of course," Bellatrix said, smirking at Hermione. "The saying is witches first, after all."

"Are you implying I'm a man?" Hermione asked with a frown, trying to work out in her head what Bellatrix meant. "Or a Muggle?"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "I was joking, Hermione." She took a pinch of Floo Powder. "I'll see you in a moment."

Placing a chaste kiss on Bellatrix's mouth, Hermione murmured, "See you."

"Malfoy Manor," Bellatrix called once she was in the flames.

Echoing Bellatrix's actions shortly after, Hermione did the same, closing her eyes as she travelled so that she didn't feel dizzy. It had been a while since she had used the Floo Network, and much the same as Apparating, it took some getting used to. Her main concern at the moment, however, was the fact that she would have to face Narcissa, and possibly Lucius and Draco if they were around. She felt sick to the stomach, because even though Bellatrix claimed she would protect her and remain loyal; what would she do if Narcissa forced her to choose between them? Hermione didn't know enough about Narcissa to predict whether this was a possibility or not, but should the situations between the sisters have been reversed and Bellatrix was still a Death Eater, she probably would have killed Narcissa for deigning to have a relationship with a Muggle-born.

All too soon, Hermione arrived at Malfoy Manor. Trying to appear as dignified as possible should she immediately be faced with Narcissa, she stepped out of the flames carefully, her expression devoid of emotion. Narcissa was an unknown entity to her, and so she would to her best to portray a similar image to the blonde witch. No doubt Draco would have whined about her, especially during their younger years at Hogwarts, meaning that Narcissa knew more about her than she did about Narcissa. However, whilst this put Narcissa at a slight advantage, if Hermione was a good enough actress then hopefully Narcissa wouldn't be able to read her too easily.

The most she had ever seen of Narcissa was when she had been tortured by Bellatrix at Malfoy Manor, which was definitely a memory from hell that she was tempted to have Obliviated. Although throughout her time there Narcissa had not laid a single finger on her, or cast any spell at her directly, she hadn't exactly jumped to defend her either. If anything, she had just waited for Bellatrix to tell her what to do, and followed instructions, never quite doing enough to have an effect on anything. Still, Narcissa hadn't gone out of her way to help her at all, and so Hermione was feeling apprehensive about seeing her again to say the least.

Hermione was relieved to note that currently, herself and Bellatrix were the only occupants of what looked to be the hallway. She wondered where Narcissa was, and if she had forgotten that they were supposed to meet. Maybe that gave her time to Floo back to Bellatrix's? Of course, it was weak to back out now, but she wasn't feeling a great deal of that infamous Gryffindor bravery at the moment, and so she was unsure if she could stand to do this anymore. So what if she was a coward? She had committed enough courageous acts this past year alone to more than make up for a moment of weakness.

As if she had read Hermione's thoughts again (and Hermione wasn't sure if she had, because apparently Bellatrix was good at delving into her mind when she was unaware and not conscious enough of her mind being penetrated) Bellatrix murmured, "Stop worrying. I've told you, it's going to be fine."

"I'd feel better if you held my hand," Hermione said, immediately chastising herself for being so idiotic as to actually speak the words. As if Bellatrix was going to do _that_. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say that aloud."

Surprisingly, Bellatrix grinned. "Please think before you speak when Narcissa is around. She's far more reserved than I am, and she'll fail to see the funny side."

Blushing, Hermione looked down at the floor as she trailed alongside Bellatrix, feeling stupider than ever. She was usually so good at saying the right thing and controlling her emotions, but apparently all of that went to pot the moment she was around Bellatrix. It wouldn't have mattered if they had been in a relationship for five years; Bellatrix would never go all mushy around her and start showing public displays of affection.

Nevertheless, as Hermione thought this, she felt a hand roughly weave itself around her waist, resting possessively on her hip. Shocked, she gawped at Bellatrix unable to believe that she would touch her like this when Narcissa could appear at any moment from behind one of the doors surrounding. Lost for words, she continued to stare at Bellatrix, wondering if this was a sign that the raven haired witch was willing to sacrifice a little of who she was as a person if it made Hermione happy.

"I'm not going to hold your hand because I find that just a little too odd, but if it makes you feel better, then I'll do this. Ok?" Bellatrix explained, no trace of sarcasm in her voice.

"Thanks," Hermione whispered, just as they entered what looked to be a sitting room. Decorated in a Jade Green shade with hints of gold here and there, the rug and soft furnishings made it look a great deal more comfortable than the drawing room that Hermione had been tortured in. There was a large handsome portrait of Lucius, Narcissa, Draco and Bellatrix looming down from one wall, none of them smiling, and all making formidable characters. Despite this, it did serve to highlight how good-looking a family they were, whilst showing their arrogance at the same time. It was this portrait that Hermione focused on in awe for several seconds, before she turned to face the current occupants of the room other than herself and Bellatrix.

Casually perusing a copy of The Daily Prophet, Narcissa was sat on one of the large, black leather Chesterfield sofas next to Draco, who had immediately looked up at Bellatrix and Hermione, a startled expression on his face. He made a sort of whimpering noise which caused Narcissa to also look up from the newspaper, and she too appeared stunned to see the sight of Bellatrix and Hermione before her. Hermione supposed she could understand, especially considering their current position with Bellatrix's arm around her, which made it perfectly clear just how close they were.

"Cissy," Bellatrix said, smiling at her sister. "You seem surprised... I thought you were expecting me?"

Narcissa stood. "Not quite like this Bellatrix, as you well know." She turned to Draco, and said in a low voice, "Draco, you'd better leave us."

With a curt nod, Draco swept from the room, his eyes flitting over to Bellatrix in a terrified glance only briefly as he shut the door behind him. Hermione supposed that it was the way many people would react to Bellatrix considering everything she had done; Bellatrix was a frightening character even without considering her past actions. There was something about the way she held herself that put people on edge, and even now that Bellatrix wasn't a real threat, Hermione still sometimes experienced that feeling when she was with her.

"Anyone would think he was scared of me," Bellatrix mused, gazing at the door that Draco had just closed. She turned to Hermione. "I'm beginning to wonder why I bothered asking you to save him; apparently he's as spineless as his father."

Hermione was saved from a reply by Narcissa, who said coldly, "Stop it, Bellatrix; you have even less right to mock Draco now than you did previously. Lucius too, for that matter."

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Bellatrix snarled, her demeanour changing. As she stiffened, she tightened the hand around Hermione's waist, and though the extra pressure hurt, Hermione managed to hold back a whimper.

"You know exactly what I mean," Narcissa snapped. "Do you care to explain this?" She gestured towards Hermione.

Bellatrix surveyed Hermione. "She's my..." her voice trailed off as she searched for the appropriate word. "Partner? Girlfriend doesn't sound right, does it? Special friend?"

"Bella," Hermione hissed, no longer able to tolerate Bellatrix's hand clenching at her waist. "Stop squeezing me!"

Bellatrix grinned before relaxing her grip. "Let's sit down," she said, leading Hermione over to the sofa that Narcissa had previously been sat upon. She threw herself down with force, pulling Hermione next to her with a great thud.

"I sincerely hope that this is your idea of a sick joke, Bellatrix," Narcissa said, taking a seat on the sofa opposite them, and folding her hands together in her lap.

"Hang on," Bellatrix said. "If Andromeda can run off with a Muggle-born then why can't I?"

"That's exactly the point!" Narcissa exclaimed, no longer quite as controlled. There was a hint of wildness and ferocity in her eyes, though of course it was nowhere near the amount that Bellatrix's orbs sometimes held. "You have spent the last thirty years hating our sister for her choices, and now you're doing exactly the same thing! Is this the reason you betrayed the Dark Lord? It had nothing to do with concern for Draco and I, did it?"

"Cissy," Bellatrix said, and her voice was softer now. "I didn't want this to happen, but it did. We can't... we can't live without each other. It's _Semper Amor_."

There was a pause.

Narcissa stared in disbelief as the words sunk in. "Don't be ridiculous!"

"It is," Bellatrix insisted. "Don't you remember us talking about it years ago? _Semper Amor_ has been proven to exist. And... well... it exists between myself and Hermione."

Hermione processed Bellatrix's statement, and realised exactly what Bellatrix's declaration implied. "Wait, you knew what _Semper Amor_ was before I showed you the book, _Ancient Love_?"

"Yes, Narcissa and I read about it when we were teenagers at Hogwarts," Bellatrix answered, and then as though she realised what she had revealed, she tried to wave it off. "But that doesn't matter now."

"It matters to me," Hermione said, incredulous of Bellatrix's reaction. How could she think this wasn't a big deal? If Bellatrix had been aware of Semper Amor since before Hermione informed her, that meant that she possibly knew when she was torturing Hermione in the cell. At what point had Bellatrix been aware of the unbreakable connection between them? Had she been in denial? Hermione had so many questions flying around her head that she didn't know what to ask first. She didn't know what to think. All that was on repeat in her head was _Bellatrix knew, Bellatrix knew, Bellatrix knew._

"Yes, I knew when I was holding you prisoner, and no I can't tell you exactly when because I tried to block it out. Now, can you stop thinking so bloody hard and let me talk to Narcissa for the moment?" Bellatrix said in annoyance.

"Well, stop looking inside of my head!" Hermione retorted, embarrassed that Bellatrix was speaking to her in such a way in front of someone else; her younger sister of all people. "I didn't ask you to invade my mind!"

"Then practice your Occlumency skills more and learn to close your mind off when you are unaware of someone trying to look inside your head. Or at the very least learn when I'm probing your mind so that you can quickly shut me out," Bellatrix snapped.

At this point, Narcissa cleared her throat. "Excuse me?"

"Sorry," Hermione apologised, feeling embarrassed. "This um... it happens a lot. We argue constantly."

"Does she not use the Cruciatus Curse on you to keep you in your place? I'm sure you're aware that's one of Bellatrix's specialities," Narcissa drawled, addressing Hermione directly for the first time since her arrival at Malfoy Manor.

Hermione stared at the blonde witch, unable to tell if she was joking or not. She didn't look as though she was being cruel, but that didn't necessarily mean that was the case. It may just be that Hermione was truly awful at reading the emotion currently worn on Narcissa's face, being as it was so well hidden. Whatever the reason behind her words, Hermione was not going to retaliate. Now was the time to be nice to Narcissa unless she had proof that she was being provoked, because she didn't need to provide her with more ammunition or further reasons for hating her other than her blood status. _She does hate me, doesn't she? _Why else would Narcissa be acting this way towards her if there wasn't at least a little animosity?

"No. Not anymore, anyway," Hermione said, answering truthfully. Wanting to keep the conversation with Narcissa going, she added, "Why, has she used it on you too?"

Narcissa smirked, and Hermione was struck by how similar a resemblance to Bellatrix she bore. Despite the straight, raven and blonde coloured hair that Narcissa had, they shared the same deep brown eyes, and apparently some similar expressions too. It was unnerving to think about, let alone be faced with. "No; my _darling _sister would never dream of using an Unforgiveable Curse upon me."

"Are you sure about that?" Bellatrix muttered. "There's a first time for everything." She threw Narcissa a filthy look.

"Calm yourself, Bella," Narcissa chastised.

"I'll calm myself when you stop irritating me," Bellatrix said through gritted teeth.

"I'm not trying to irritate you," Narcissa said, composed. "I'm simply having a conversation with Miss Granger."

_Weird,_ Hermione thought. If Narcissa was only comfortable with calling her Miss Granger, then for the moment she would have to accept it. However, should herself and Bellatrix still be together several months down the line (which was looking more and more possible as each day passed without them trying to kill each other) then she would have to say something. After all, it was inevitable that she was going to have to spend some time with Narcissa considering how close she and Bellatrix were. Perhaps if Narcissa continued to be so formal then she could have a word with Bellatrix about it; Hermione doubted very much that Narcissa would pay any attention to her wishes unless Bellatrix asked on her behalf.

"Well, I would appreciate it if you focused a little more on _me_," Bellatrix huffed. "I am your sister after all."

"My sister who has brought her new_ friend_ to visit," Narcissa said promptly. "Can you blame me for being intrigued?"

"We didn't come here for you to question us!" Bellatrix declared. "I wanted you to know about Hermione because I don't want there to be any secrets between us."

"That's fine," Narcissa said, and again, Hermione couldn't tell if she really meant what she said. _How frustrating._ "Though if that is the case, there is something I should tell you too."

Bellatrix raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"I have been in touch with Andromeda," Narcissa announced. "I felt that given the circumstances, it was appropriate."

"What?" Bellatrix said at once, pursing her lips. "You're not serious, Cissy?"

Narcissa shook her head. "Yes, I am. And before you open your mouth and start spouting abuse, I'd think very carefully about recent choices that you have made yourself. You have no right to judge Andromeda; not anymore."

Angrily, Bellatrix balled her hand into a fist. "I have already explained why this is different, and..."

Interjecting, Narcissa said, "Had Andromeda been the one experiencing _Semper Amor,_ you would still have shown her no mercy." She bowed her head in apparent shame. "And neither would I. But the Dark Lord has gone, Bellatrix, and our families' reputation is in tatters. It is time for us to build bridges, and I think it is time to start with Andromeda. She has lost her husband and daughter, and now she has to raise her grandchild alone."

"I doubt that Andromeda is even going to want to set eyes on me considering that I have spent the last couple of years trying to kill her daughter," Bellatrix said scornfully.

"I think it's a good idea," Hermione said, hoping that Bellatrix didn't turn her fury against her. However, she felt as though she had to tell her what she really thought, because without a doubt, Narcissa was doing the right thing. Maybe it was for all the wrong reasons if she was mainly concerned for her reputation, but if some good came out of it, then who was Hermione to question her motivation? Besides, as far as she could tell, Narcissa was highly logical in many ways; something that she admired and aspired to herself.

Bellatrix shot Hermione a warning look, but directed her attention back to Narcissa as she said firmly, "No."

Regardless of Bellatrix's refusal, Narcissa seemed unfazed as she said, "Do you really think that you're going to be accepted into society? It's going to be hard enough for myself, Lucius and Draco to build our reputation again, but you're going to have even more of a fight on your hands."

"I don't care what others think of me," Bellatrix said defiantly. "They can hate me all they want; considering most of them are scum not even worth my time, it really isn't an issue for me."

As Hermione considered Bellatrix's stance, she tried not to feel too upset by her admission. She had known what she was letting herself in for when she agreed to pursue the connection between herself and Bellatrix, and although slowly Bellatrix was beginning to change; it wasn't going to happen overnight. Unlike Narcissa, Bellatrix was unconcerned with her reputation because for years she had been in Azkaban, away from all of the abuse that people threw around about her. Even afterwards when she had broken free, she had only been concerned with Voldemort, and surrounded herself daily with people who agreed with her views. There was a chance that when Bellatrix had to face people in the street that over time, eventually she would begin to care. Either that or she would attempt to curse people left, right and centre, though Hermione hoped that she would at least attempt to restrain the urge to do that, or else end up in Azkaban again.

"Why are you so against seeing Andromeda?" Hermione asked curiously. At the very least she wanted to understand exactly what Bellatrix's issue with Andromeda was. "Her husband is dead, and surely the main reason you stopped talking to her was because she had tainted the Black family name, which has now been destroyed for entirely different reasons."

"Because she turned her back on us without a second thought," Bellatrix snapped. "Anyhow, we still have a reputation amongst certain groups."

Hermione gaped. "What, like the remaining Death Eaters who have been put into Azkaban? They probably hate you for your betrayal. Even if they don't... that's absurd, Bella! Your mere association with such individuals is probably enough in itself to warrant them throwing you into Azkaban and locking away the key, and this time you won't survive, because you don't have the thought of being back with _Him _to sustain you. He's gone! You either need to fit into society or face life in prison." Taking a breath, Hermione finished her rant. "Oh, and Andromeda didn't turn her back on you without a second thought; Tonks once told me that she still has photographs of you all as children in her home, safely kept in a box that she hides in her wardrobe." She ignored the pang in her chest as she mentioned Tonks without thinking. _Focus on the conversation, don't think of her now._

Finally having said everything she needed to say, Hermione stopped, looking back and forth between the two sisters. As it frequently was, Narcissa's expression was entirely unreadable, but Bellatrix, who showed all emotions other than sadness more easily on her face, was staring at her in wonderment. It was strange for Hermione, because she didn't think she had ever been on the receiving end of such a look from the older witch. Despite not feeling threatened, she couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable as she prepared herself for whatever was to come next.

"What?" Hermione asked when Bellatrix was still watching her half a minute or so later, still not having spoken. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Bellatrix briefly glanced over at Narcissa, before she faced Hermione, and said, "I think I finally truly understand why you're a Gryffindor."

"Huh?" Hermione frowned. Where exactly was this leading?

"I don't think anyone other than you would ever _dare_ to speak to me like that in front of another family member," Bellatrix said. "Your Gryffindor bravery astounds me."

Still confused, Hermione said, "So... are you angry?"

Bellatrix appeared to think for a moment. "Surprisingly, no I'm not. I don't have an overwhelming urge to inflict_ Crucio _upon you at any rate."

"Does that mean you agree with me?" Hermione tried again to understand what Bellatrix was getting at.

"I agree that what you just said makes sense. And... considering everything, it may be in my best interests to speak with Andromeda at least once." She directed at Narcissa, "I'll leave it to you, Cissy, to sort out the arrangements with her?"

Mutely, Narcissa nodded. Her outburst appeared to have had an effect on Narcissa, Hermione noted with pleasure.

"Well, now that's all sorted, I think it's time for us to leave," Bellatrix said, standing up. "I'm sure you have a lot to discuss with Draco and Lucius."

"Yes," Narcissa managed, eyes flickering over to Hermione. "It was... interesting to meet you, Miss Granger."

Hermione smiled, despite the awkwardness that the other witch so obviously felt. "Likewise." She avoided the use of Narcissa's name, not wanting to appear too over-familiar.

"I'll see you to the fireplace," Narcissa said politely, guiding Bellatrix and Hermione out of the room, even though they knew the way perfectly well on their own. Well, Bellatrix did; Hermione wasn't sure she would ever get used to large manor houses, for although her parent's home was spacious, both Black Manor and Malfoy Manor took living space to a whole new level.

As before, Bellatrix left first, apparently not concerned with the fact that now Hermione would be left alone with Narcissa. Not wanting to wait around, Hermione hurriedly took a pinch of Floo powder, but as she was about to step into the fireplace, Narcissa cleared her throat, drawing Hermione back around. Up close, the resemblance to Bellatrix was ever more striking, for their eyes were so uncannily similar that Hermione had to remind herself that this was Narcissa she was standing opposite, not Bellatrix. Focusing on the different hairstyles and clothes worn helped somewhat, but Hermione didn't wish to appear rude by looking Narcissa up and down, and so she tried to just focus on her face instead.

"I don't know how you're able to make Bellatrix listen to you the way she evidently has been," Narcissa said slowly. "But I have only ever seen her act that way for someone once before."

Hermione swallowed. "Voldemort."

Narcissa visibly flinched at the use of the name. "I don't know what your agenda is, and I don't particularly want to know. However, you should be aware that Bellatrix is infatuated by you, and should you decide against pursuing things with her, she will not give you up easily. If you are unsure of anything, then now is the time to walk away, before things become any more serious."

Hermione shook her head angrily. How dare Narcissa question her feelings? "There is no agenda, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm as infatuated with Bellatrix as she is with me. I've risked my friendships and my life to be with her, and have no intention to ever leave. So if that's a problem for you, then I'm sorry, but I'm not going anywhere."

Turning back to the flames, she threw the Floo powder and stepped inside before Narcissa could response. She wasn't interested in hearing any more negativity; she had already dealt with enough of that to last a lifetime. If Narcissa was unhappy with Bellatrix's choices then simply put, it was too bad. Hermione's feelings for Bellatrix were so strong that she knew nobody else would ever be able to match up to her, and she couldn't imagine kissing anyone in the way that she kissed Bellatrix. Granted, she still hated her just that little bit for everything that she had done to good, innocent people over the years, for everything that she had found amusing and for all the pain she caused, but that didn't change the fact that she loved Bellatrix with all her heart.

And that was the way it was going to stay.

_Forever._


	24. Chapter 24

Thanks to everyone for the reviews as always. :)

**Right... as for those of you who have asked whether Hermione and Bellatrix are going to have sex, they are in this chapter. So this is a warning for sexual content I suppose!** I'd like to just take this opportunity however, to point out that this isn't the sort of fic where it would have been realistic for them to jump into bed after five minutes, hence why there has been such a wait. It's not going to suddenly be fluffy or cutesy either, so please don't expect that either.

**Kriszti7-** I literally had so much to include I was reluctant to stop at thirty chapters, but I didn't want this fic to go on forever. The remaining chapters are relationship based for the main part as I want to show how things develop between Bellatrix and Hermione, but there are scenes with other characters (though I won't say who :P)

**OpheliaBlack-** Narcissa has always struck me as a very closed character, hence her behaviour. You're right, her motivations for warning Hermione aren't to keep them apart, but from Hermione's point of view, that isn't something that she can see.

**DubstepPhoenix-** It is in this chapter, but it wouldn't have been realistic for her to confront Bellatrix in front of Narcissa which is why I didn't elaborate further in chapter 23.

**ApollosGirlSunny-** Narcissa is considerate and caring to her family, yes. But it wouldn't have made sense for her to be caring towards Bellatrix; she has just found out that Bellatrix is in a relationship with a Muggle-born girl, and she is angry because Bellatrix disowned Andromeda for being in a relationship with a Muggle-born, influencing Narcissa's disownment of her too.

**GothicPheonix-** I'm afraid there are no Draco and Hermione talks planned... perhaps in a sequel if I wrote one. Haha, loving the punch idea, still not sure that would go down too well with the Ministry though. ;)

**Pandora'sMoon-** Your question will be answered by the end of the fic. :P

**aoxomoxoa-** Haha, thanks Muddy-Buddy! :P

**Etain-Cassiopeia-Lestrange-** You're right, there are similarities between Bellatrix and an addict... the way she used to be is always going to be there, it's just a case of her learning to function like a normal human being, even though inside she will never entirely change.

**Sapphire Smoke-** Thank you very much! Writing a fic like this has been extremely challenging, but I wanted to see if it was possible to do. I've written fics that were hard for me to write for personal reasons before, and when I managed to achieve that I decided to set myself another task, hehe. Am pleased that you (amongst others) think I have managed to do a good job. :)

* * *

_After a hurricane comes a rainbow_

_Katy Perry, Firework_

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_**24.**_

Immediately upon arriving back at Black Manor, Hermione stepped out of the fireplace to discover Bellatrix waiting for her, eyebrows raised and hands on her hips. She looked amused by something causing Hermione to frown, determined not to smile back until she was certain that Bellatrix wasn't about to make fun of her. At times like this, Hermione wished that she could adequately perform Legilimency, if only so she could see what Bellatrix was thinking about whilst her defences were down, and she was in an extraordinarily relaxed and playful mood.

"Did my darling sister interrogate you as to what your intentions towards me are?" Bellatrix asked, still smirking.

"Haha, very funny," Hermione said, face stony. "She absolutely _hates_ me."

Bellatrix stopped grinning, and shook her head fervently. "She doesn't. Narcissa is just playing the part of a dutiful sister."

"I'm beginning to wonder if she's worse than you," Hermione said, dusting stray ashes from the fireplace from herself. "I mean, what on earth is her problem?"

Shrugging, Bellatrix pulled Hermione towards her. "Do you really care?"

"Sort of," Hermione said honestly. "I don't want there to be animosity between us, or for her to hate me."

As far as Hermione was concerned, it was going to be hard enough not only convincing everyone to accept Bellatrix back into society, but to accept them as a couple. People were going to be reluctant to trust them, and would be likely to remember all of the bad and none of the good. If they weren't able to rely on those closest to them, like Narcissa, Harry, and eventually, Hermione's parents, then what hope was there for everyone else? It wasn't that Hermione particularly _needed_ Narcissa's approval, but she wanted things to at least remain civil between them, or else it was going to be really awkward whenever they were in the same room as each other.

"She doesn't hate you, sweetie," Bellatrix said, and in a rare moment of compassion, she cupped Hermione's face in her hands. "She's being protective. That might be hard to believe because I don't needprotecting, but it's the sisterly bond that we have."

Her declaration that Narcissa didn't hate Hermione triggered a memory in her from when she had been held captive. "Neither did you," she said, thinking aloud. "That's why it didn't hurt as much when you performed the Cruciatus Curse compared to Rodolphus... you didn't really hate me. It was just frustrated anger because of the unwanted feelings you had for me. Because of _Semper Amor_."

"Finally figured it out, have you?" Bellatrix said, eyebrow quirked.

"That's..." Hermione stopped, struggling to find the words she wanted to say. "You never really gained pleasure from hurting me, did you? It was just that you blamed me for the way you felt towards me, because you already guessed it was _Semper Amor_."

Bellatrix flushed at the reference to her previous torture of Hermione. "I knew I never would have felt so strongly for someone like you without something influencing me. The only logical explanation, or rather, illogical I suppose, was _Semper Amor_," she admitted uncomfortably.

"Someone like me," Hermione repeated, unable to stop herself being hurt by the insinuation. Bellatrix had said something similar before in the heat of anger, but hearing her say it in a calmer way was somehow worse. "A _Mudblood_, you mean?" she said, wanting to make sure she had understood the implication before she allowed herself to be hurt for no reason.

"Yes," Bellatrix said bluntly.

"Oh," Hermione said, feeling stupid for being upset over something so obvious. _Of course_ Bellatrix wouldn't love someone which such dirty blood unless she was forced to do so. _Stupid me for assuming so._

Upon noting Hermione's visible sadness, Bellatrix draped an arm over her shoulder and around the back of her neck. "I won't lie to you and say that your blood status doesn't bother me, but you should know that it doesn't make me care for you any less," she said in what was evidently supposed to be a kind manner.

Hermione swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat. There was nothing she felt able to say to that, and so instead, she simply nodded her head.

It would have been very easy after seeing Hermione's reaction for Bellatrix to walk away and pretend that she hadn't noticed anything was wrong, or dig herself into a deeper hole and say something that made the situation even worse. However, she was apparently learning what she should and shouldn't do after she had said or done something unkind, for she drew Hermione's mouth towards her, kissing her almost tenderly and parting soft lips to deepen the kiss further. "I don't want you to feel unhappy, because for some reason whenever you do, I feel that way too," Bellatrix confessed, drawing back.

"I can't help it," Hermione said, annoyed with her selfishness, but also touched that Bellatrix too felt unhappy whenever she did. Nevertheless, despite her conflicting thoughts, she felt a little better now that Bellatrix had shown her affection. "You're unbelievably harsh sometimes."

"I don't intend to be," Bellatrix said, sounding earnest. "I just find it hard to explain my feelings for you, even to myself. They're contradictory in so many ways. All I can promise you is that you are very important to me. Truly."

"I want to believe you," Hermione said, still unsure. "But I don't know if I can."

Bellatrix shook her head, her curls shaking wildly. "Don't debate my words; just know that I am being entirely honest with you."

She kissed Hermione again, this time, with extreme fervour and passion.

Finally distracted, Hermione reciprocated, winding her hands around Bellatrix and holding their bodies close together. She was grateful that when Bellatrix kissed her, she felt a warm fuzziness inside that pulled her away from the tension of reality, and consequently made her feel happy. In that very moment, she didn't want to think about Narcissa anymore, or her blood status, or anything that even vaguely hurt, because that wasn't what life was about. Here, now, she was determined to just be with Bellatrix whether rightly or wrongly, because this relationship had to be something that she learned to accept completely. After all, she could run halfway across the world and cut off all ties with Bellatrix, and still she wouldn't be able to forget about her, or really leave her in all the ways that it mattered. _Emotionally. Psychologically. Sexually?_

Her own thoughts led Hermione made a split second decision, refusing to allow herself to debate whether it was the right decision to make. "Bedroom," she whispered, pulling back from Bellatrix to stare into the dilated pupils of her beautiful brown eyes.

Bellatrix laughed, but this time, it was more of a giggle than a cackle, less harsh and more real than previously. The atmosphere lightened considerably. "What for?" she asked in mock innocence.

Hermione smiled nervously. "I umm... I'm ready. I think." She blushed, feeling embarrassed at the simple fact she didn't really know how to refer to sex in a polite way.

"Are you sure?" Bellatrix asked, seeming to search Hermione's face for any sign of hesitation. "It's been barely any time since you weren't ready..."

"I know," Hermione acknowledged shyly. "But I feel more comfortable now, and I don't want to wait forever. I want to at least try because... because when we're close, I feel like things will be alright."

Bellatrix nodded in wordless understanding. Her arm around Hermione in the same fashion that she had placed it at Malfoy Manor before their meeting with Narcissa, Bellatrix led her into the bedroom. Everything was spotless and tidy, Hermione noted, as though Lemmy had been cleaning. She wondered where the house-elf had been, as other than mealtimes she hadn't really seen her properly ever since she had come to stay once the war had ended. Making a mental note to track Lemmy down and have a proper conversation with her, Hermione slowly sat down on the bed.

"I can't believe you're about to lose your virginity, and you're thinking about my house-elf," Bellatrix said dryly.

Irritated, Hermione shot her a filthy look. "I've told you not to do that, Bella," she said angrily. "Stay out of my head." Immediately she raised her Occlumency barriers, as she blushed at the similarity to the situation with Ron at Hogwarts, when she had been fixated on house-elves instead of kissing him. In fairness, at present she was trying to keep herself from being nervous before a significant milestone in her life with Bellatrix, as opposed to when she kissed Ron. All the thinking about elves then had simply been to distract Hermione from how much passion she _didn't_ feel for him, no matter how awful of her it had been to do.

"I can't help it if I find your thoughts intriguing," Bellatrix protested, defending her actions. "Why do you care so much about that bloody elf anyway?"

Hermione forced herself to suppress a sigh, not wanting to argue with Bellatrix when this was supposed to be special. "Because she's a creature with feelings," she said calmly. "Besides, you must care on some level or else you wouldn't be nice to her, or have worried so much when Rodolphus attacked her."

"I've been nice to her since Cissy gave her to me because that means she serves me well. It's for entirely selfish reasons, I assure you. As for when she was attacked; I wasn't that bothered by what Rodolphus did to her, I was just furious with him," Bellatrix lied, refusing to divulge just how much Lemmy really meant to her.

"You know, I'm not so sure I do want to have sex with you now," Hermione snapped, unable to stop herself reacting to Bellatrix's callousness and insensitivity. It was so frustrating when she deliberately hid normal everyday emotions, evidently believing them to be pathetic, because Hermione only considered her weak for lying, not for merely being human.

Shuffling closer, Bellatrix draped an arm around Hermione and said with a pout, "Don't be like that, little babe. The main thing is I'm nice to her; it doesn't matter what my motivations for that are. More to the point, I let her be nice to you without punishment before... well before we became what we are today."

Unable to stop herself, Hermione's mouth dropped open, and she gaped at Bellatrix. "You _knew_? You knew we had conversations and that she was nice to me?"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "Of course I did!"

"O-oh," Hermione stuttered. She remembered, "That's why you told her you think I'm smart... so she'd tell me and I'd know what you thought of me."

She would _never_ understand Bellatrix.

Hermione was prevented from responding any further when Bellatrix acted in her usual demanding manner, pushing Hermione back onto the bed so that she was now lying with her head on the pillow. She offered no verbal confirmation to Hermione's words, ignoring her as she evidently felt awkward, though Hermione took this to mean that she was correct with her deduction, even if Bellatrix didn't want to admit it. Instead of continuing the conversation, Bellatrix began to trail hot kisses along Hermione's neck, sucking on her pulse point in a way that could only be described as obscenely erotic. Fighting back a moan, Hermione gave up analysing Bellatrix's decisions and her protests about her behaviour toward Lemmy, not wishing to argue with Bellatrix when she was making her feel utterly fantastic. She concentrated on the jolts running through her body, making her heart thud loudly against her ribcage. Tangling her fingers in Bellatrix's raven curls, she pushed down on her head, increasing the pressure on her neck, and at the same time, she wrapped her legs around Bellatrix, desperate for contact with more of her body.

Raising her arms in the air, Hermione nervously allowed Bellatrix to pull the pastel pink, cotton dress she had been wearing, up and over her head. Even though she had been completely naked in front of Bellatrix before, she had never felt as self-conscious as she did currently. She surmised this was mainly due to the fact that previously Bellatrix had just been her captor, but also considered it was partly because of what they were about to do. Yes, she was sure that she definitely wanted to take their relationship to the next level, but she was still so so scared about the sex itself. What if she was really bad at it? The only other thing in her life Hermione had never been very bad at was flying, and that was inconsequential compared to this!

Focusing on the moment once more, Hermione realised that Bellatrix had stopped touching her, and was now staring into her eyes. "What is it?" Hermione asked, worried she had already done something wrong.

"You were lost in your own world," Bellatrix observed knowingly. "If you're not ready for this, then just tell me and I'll stop."

Hermione shook her head lightly. "It's not that. It's... I'm just concerned that I'm going to do something wrong. I don't even know what I'm _supposed_ to do."

"It doesn't matter," Bellatrix said insistently. "Just stay here in the room with me rather than inside your own mind. Try to relax, and tell me if you're not enjoying it."

She scratched a nail down Hermione's arm, in line with one of her blue veins. It triggered something in Hermione that should have been pleasurable, but only served to increase her fear. Not only was Hermione now anxious about the sex itself, but what exactly Bellatrix planned to do to her. What if she didn't just want to have sex in a loving, gentle way? What if she really _really_ wanted to cause Hermione pain? To slam her down, bind her to the bed, bite her, draw blood, and countless other crazy, sadistic methods of pleasure. The one thing that Bellatrix had always been known for was her love of torture, so why would she not want to do that to gain satisfaction? She may never have forced sex upon someone, but if that person consented to the act of sex, did it really matter if they hated how she wanted to have it?

Hermione shuffled backwards, staring up at Bellatrix with the same terrified look on her face as when she had been abducted. Stuttering, she choked the words she needed to ask out of her mouth. "D-do you want to... are you g-going to hurt me?"

"Excuse me?" Bellatrix responded, confusion in her eyes at the turn in conversation.

Hermione attempted to compose herself, realising that she needed to explain herself properly. There was no point in her taking half an hour to get the words out because it would only frustrate Bellatrix. "Are you going to want to hurt me when we... you know? I just... well... is causing me pain going to be part of this?"

Comprehension dawning on Bellatrix's face, she looked outraged by the suggestion. "What? No! Why would you think that?" She paused, and then realising the answer to her question in her own head. "Oh. Because I tortured you before?"

"Well... yes."

"No. No, I don't want to hurt you. I know that you think that is who I am, but I would never enjoy causing pain to you. If I didn't in the past, as you have already acknowledged, then why would I now? Granted, I sometimes lose control, but like I've said already, it doesn't make me happy to see you upset. You _must_ know that, if nothing else. What we are... it's fucked up and still doesn't make sense, but this isn't about pain for me," Bellatrix said in an attempt to reassure Hermione.

Still not convinced, Hermione continued to wear a troubled expression on her face. "Then what is this about for you?"

"Us being together," Bellatrix said simply. "I won't sugarcoat my words or proclaim my undying love to you, but I want you regardless. You make me feel crazier than I already am; albeit in a good way."

Managing a small smile at this proclamation, Hermione relaxed slightly. "So... no torture?"

"No torture," Bellatrix promised, and she shifted back over to Hermione, touching her once more. This time her touch was more cautious, softer than previously. It seemed as though Bellatrix was aware of what Hermione needed, and she didn't want to frighten her.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione shifted over slightly, making herself more comfortable. "Ok."

"There may be some pain initially when I... touch you inside," Bellatrix said awkwardly, cheeks flushing. "I am unsure if you are aware, but there is a potion, _Elixir of Bliss_, that is designed to relax and make one only feel pleasant emotions, so that there is no physical pain to worry about. I have a dose of it, should you wish to consume that?"

Hermione debated the offer for only a few seconds before she made up her mind. She didn't particularly want it as she worried that it would cloud the experience somehow, and not allow her to remember her first time exactly the way it was meant to be. She wanted this to be entirely natural, even if that meant some discomfort. "No; I'll be fine," she vowed.

Bellatrix nodded, accepting her answer. She seemed to understand that Hermione was ready for her to continue, as she joined their mouths together once more.

Hermione's eyes fluttered shut, and immediately, Bellatrix began to scrape her teeth scraped along her neck, applying just enough pressure to create a tingly feeling without coming anywhere close to painful. Feeling more at ease after Bellatrix's declaration, Hermione didn't allow herself to think; she instead concentrated on the pleasant sensations coursing through her body. Slowly but surely, Bellatrix moved downwards, until eventually her mouth reached Hermione's chest, where she paused, breathing against Hermione's bra, before lifting Hermione upwards to allow her access to the clasp. Deftly, she unhooked it, and pulled it off to throw it on the bedroom floor where Hermione's dress already lay.

Hermione blushed as her nervousness increased tenfold, but as Bellatrix began cupping a breast and rotating a thumb around one nipple, drawing the other into her warm, wet mouth, she felt better within seconds. It was impossible to focus on anything, not when the older witch was making her feel so fantastic that she could barely breathe without moaning. Her white panties with a pink ribbon bow suddenly felt too tight, as if they were constricting her to the extent where all she wanted to do was rip them off. She arched her hips upwards involuntarily, her body desperate for more of Bellatrix's touch.

"Patience..." Bellatrix whispered, blowing cool air against Hermione's nipple. Raising her head, she pulled her hands from Hermione as she removed her own dress. Her breasts half-spilled out of her laced black bra, Hermione noted with admiration, as her raven haired beauty hovered over her.

"Bella," Hermione said breathlessly, reaching to tug Bellatrix down on top of her, desperate for pressure once more. "Let me just..." she whispered, and with shaking hands, Hermione began to knead Bellatrix's breasts, exploring her body. She ran her fingers over a scar she found just underneath Bellatrix's left breast, tracing the outline and wondering what had caused it. There was no way that she was going to ask and ruin the mood, however, and so instead she focused her attention once more on learning her way around Bellatrix's body, touching her chest and dipping her fingertips inside her bra to skim over Bellatrix's nipples. Pleased when she drew short gasps from Bellatrix, not ever imagining she would be able to create such a reaction from her, Hermione boldly wrapped her arms around Bellatrix, and fumbled to undo her bra. As she did so, Bellatrix grinned, giving Hermione the courage to all but tear the bra from her and send it flying onto the increasing pile of clothes on the floor.

Hermione's world was slightly hazy for a few minutes, as there was a lot of kissing, exploring, and touching of each other. It surprised her as she had always assumed Bellatrix would be rough, but she appeared to be making a considerable effort to hold herself back after Hermione had raised concerns about whether she would use pain as a pleasure tool during sex. There was a brief moment when Bellatrix applied just a little too much pressure, causing Hermione to flinch, but as quickly as the pain had come, it rapidly disappeared. Bellatrix's consciousness of her own actions sent immense waves of love rolling over Hermione purely because the older witch was trying to ensure she felt comfortable.

When her panties were finally dragged down her legs and discarded by Bellatrix, Hermione imitated her lover and removed the last remaining piece of Bellatrix's underwear from her. Nevertheless, despite Hermione's enthusiasm, before Bellatrix progressed things further, she searched Hermione's eyes for confirmation that it was ok to continue. Although she was still slightly scared, Hermione nodded her agreement. She knew that whether she had to make this decision now or in five years, it would still be the same feelings she held inside. _Want. Need. Love._

"Say now if you don't want this to continue," Bellatrix warned. "Because if you change your mind halfway through, I don't know that I'll be able to stop."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Hermione asked warily.

Bellatrix brushed hair back from Hermione's face, and kissed her on the lips, long and hard. "I mean, _sweetheart_, that I'll be too busy concentrating on your body to always make sure that you are at ease by staring up at your pretty little face," she revealed.

"Oh. Um... well that's ok," Hermione decided, eyes wide and staring straight back at Bellatrix. "I want this, and I'm not going to change my mind."

"Are you sure you don't want to take _Elixir of Bliss_ and make this painless?" Bellatrix checked.

"No," Hermione declined. "I'm fine."

Channelling the bravery she held within, Hermione took hold of Bellatrix's hand and placed it between her legs. She felt herself clench at the sudden contact, and forced herself to keep her eyes open, wanting to see Bellatrix's face, if only for reassurance. Evidently she had succeeded in persuading Bellatrix that this really was what she wanted, as the raven haired beauty (and that's what Bellatrix was; _beautiful_ like her name suggested) started to move her fingers against Hermione's clit, making her feel sensations so strong that she never imagined it to be possible to feel that way. Wanting to touch and explore Bellatrix's body, Hermione ran her hands up and down her lover's back, revelling in the surprisingly soft skin beneath her fingertips.

The second that Bellatrix plunged a finger inside of Hermione, she inhaled sharply at the sudden burning sensation, digging her nails into Bellatrix's skin. She squeezed her eyes shut, breathing deeply and getting used to the throbbing inside herself, which steadily became more bearable than the immediate shooting pain. For the moment, Bellatrix had stilled, and Hermione supposed she had realised she needed to wait for a while to allow Hermione time to become used to the throbbing. The thought of Bellatrix's understanding all by itself helped Hermione to feel calmer, and as a result, she soon began to accept the small amount of pain. Surprisingly, Hermione felt that the worst part was over; she was certain that from here on out she would begin to feel better. _Is this really_ _it? Oh. It's not too bad._

"Carry on," Hermione said hoarsely, when she felt ready to face movement.

Sensitively, Bellatrix curled her finger inside Hermione. As she did so, Hermione still felt an ache within, but it was barely anything compared to previously. It actually sort of felt good, if she was honest, and if she had bled at all, she wasn't aware of it. Ready to actively take part herself once again, Hermione reciprocated the kiss that Bellatrix placed on her lips. She watched as Bellatrix lowered her head, pausing briefly to kiss each of her breasts, before licking a trail down to her core. Bellatrix swirled her lips around Hermione's clit drawing gasps and moans from her as Bellatrix used her tongue to flick against her clit. Unable to help herself, Hermione spread her legs wider, thrusting herself in the air. The pounding sensations between her legs grew more urgent, intensifying until she felt a rush of wetness pool between her legs. Hermione cried out in ecstasy as she climaxed hard against Bellatrix's mouth, in her first dazzling orgasm.

The aftershocks ran through her as Bellatrix continued to lap at her juices, until she was too sensitive to take anymore. Once Bellatrix stopped and moved her head upwards, Hermione managed to speak between breaths, "That was... amazing," she sighed.

"I aim to please," Bellatrix said arrogantly, her usual self-assured smirk back on her face.

Hermione giggled, unable to help herself. "It's my turn," she said, and she rolled Bellatrix underneath her so that now she could be on top.

"I'd say don't bother," Bellatrix mused. "But it's been far too long for me to play coy."

Hermione gave her an amused smile. "You wouldn't play coy even if you'd had sex yesterday, Bella."

Bellatrix shrugged. "True."

Bellatrix had been so incredibly lovely to her (considering her usual standards, anyway) that Hermione wanted to ensure that she provided the same experience for Bellatrix. Nevertheless, she was also well aware that she had never before been in a situation like this, having no sexual experience whatsoever. Fair enough, it may have been a long time since Bellatrix had last had sex, or perhaps she had only ever had sex with men, but it was still more than Hermione had ever done. It had never been something she gave much thought to, instead preferring to think simply of hugs and kisses whenever she had thought about Ron. Considering the extent of her feelings for Bellatrix it made more sense in hindsight, as she probably hadn't wanted Ron in that way because he wasn't her true love. Whether she was a lesbian or bisexual she didn't know for she didn't want to put a label on herself, but at the moment the only person she could imagine having sex with for the rest of her life was Bellatrix.

"Tell me what you like," Hermione requested.

Bellatrix looked her up and down. "I like a lot," she said seductively.

"Um, could you be more specific?" Hermione said. "For example, on a scale of one to ten, how much pressure should I apply to..."

"Hermione," Bellatrix interrupted. "Just do whatever you want, and I'll guide you."

Biting her lip, Hermione nodded. _Right, ok._ This couldn't be that hard; she was an intelligent girl.

Starting small, she began to kiss Bellatrix passionately on the mouth in the way that she always did, easing her way in. When she felt as though she couldn't continue without progressing things any further, she moved downwards and began paying attention to each of Bellatrix's breasts, licking and sucking each rosy nipple in turn, her movements getting harder as time went on. Bellatrix seemed to appreciate this, as she forced Hermione's head down against her with enthusiasm, increasing the pressure applied. Encouraged that she was apparently getting something right, Hermione continued her ministrations on Bellatrix's chest, whilst she dipped a hand into her dark curls, learning her way around her lover's body.

Hermione rubbed down on the button she felt underneath her thumb, moving her hand faster as Bellatrix turned her head against the pillow. As Hermione continued to explore the area around Bellatrix's clit, the raven haired witch started to moan loudly, interjecting the occasional word such as _"Fuck"_ or _"Yes"_ coupled with a growl. Coming to the decision that now was the right time, Hermione brought her head down to Bellatrix's clit, and began sucking on her desperately, as she swiftly plunged one finger, then two inside of Bellatrix.

"More," Bellatrix hissed.

Obliging, Hermione added a third finger, pumping vigorously now. Underneath her, Bellatrix was making all kinds of noises, and it was enough to make her want to touch herself. Knowing that it was Bellatrix's turn for satisfaction which meant that she couldn't was extremely frustrating for Hermione, though she imagined this was a little of what Bellatrix had felt when she denied her the first time Bellatrix had attempted to have sex with her. Not possessing enough willpower to entirely ignore her own needs, she decided to settle for positioning herself so that the older witch's leg was placed between her own thighs. As Hermione moved faster and faster, she rocked herself back and forth on Bellatrix's knee, moaning at the contact it afforded her throbbing clit until eventually, Bellatrix exploded against her mouth, as simultaneously she came herself for the second time.

"Ohh..." she panted, as she used what little remaining energy she had to pull herself up, half-slumped on Bellatrix.

For several minutes, they were both silent as they caught their breath and Hermione contemplated the fact that she had just lost her virginity. It had not been the dreadful experience she had always imagined it to be, and although there had been some stinging, it hadn't been anywhere near as bad as she had thought it would be. She supposed that after the Cruciatus Curse, Flagrate and Sectumsempra, there weren't many kinds of pain that came anywhere close to the levels of agony the aforementioned curses caused.

"You just came again, didn't you?" Bellatrix asked, smirking once more.

"Yes," Hermione said. "And I'm not ashamed. It's entirely_ your_ fault."

Bellatrix arched an eyebrow, sitting up slightly. "How exactly have you worked that one out?"

"You're hot," Hermione said, smirking herself. It was the truth, after all. If Bellatrix hadn't turned her on so much then she wouldn't have been able to achieve the first orgasm, never mind the second. She was starting to see what all the fuss had been about; now that she had had sex, there was no way she felt as though she could give it up.

Sighing, Bellatrix ran a hand through her hair, pulling it away from her face. "And you're an idiot."

"Excuse me!" Hermione exclaimed, slightly offended by Bellatrix's statement. "Don't start to be mean; especially not after you've just been so nice."

Bellatrix frowned. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"You listened to my concerns," Hermione said gratefully. "And you tried your best not to hurt me."

Bellatrix began tracing patters on Hermione's skin, moving her finger along her ribs, and down to her belly button. "My first time with Rodolphus was awful," she mused, looking disgusted at the memory. "Rodolphus just sort of flopped about on top of me and lasted about two minutes."

Repulsed by the idea of Rodolphus naked, and if she was honest, jealous at the thought of him touching Bellatrix before she had ever had the chance to, Hermione tried her best not to think about the images in too much detail. After having had such an amazing experience, she didn't want anything to bring her down. Apparently though, Bellatrix was entirely unfazed by her lack of response, as she continued to talk about Rodolphus.

"He always was a selfish pig in the bedroom on the rare occasion I let him come near me," Bellatrix spat, ruined the mood entirely. "As long as he got off, nothing else mattered."

"Do you really think you should be talking about him like that?" Hermione said, trying to deter Bellatrix from continue to discuss her sex life with Rodolphus. It made her feel sick to the stomach and despite her desperate attempts to bleach the images from her mind, they refused to budge. "I mean, you were married to him."

"In name only," Bellatrix reminded her. "He was a gentleman for the most part during the first few years of our marriage, but as we became more involved with the Dark Lord, he started to show his true colours. I suppose it was around about the time I stopped pretending to like him. As I began devoting more of my time to the Dark Lord, he started to resent me. After Azkaban it was like we were complete strangers again." Involuntarily, Bellatrix shuddered at the recollection of her life in the prison.

Although Hermione would have been quite happy to just lie next to Bellatrix in silence, it was looking as if that wasn't going to happen. It exasperated her slightly, but she didn't often get to see Bellatrix in the midst of such an open mood, and so it may be that she should take advantage of it and learn as much as she could about the older witch whilst she had the chance. If Bellatrix knew what she was doing (and this time, Hermione had ensured her shields protected her thoughts before thinking about this) then she would consider it devious and underhand, but as far as Hermione was concerned she had to take what little information she could get.

"But even though you were devoted, Voldemort never understood love; he didn't appreciate that it was stronger than the Dark Arts," Hermione stated, noting that Bellatrix didn't flinch as she spoke her previous Lord's name. "And that's the reason he didn't win. He judged everyone else by his standards, and failed to see how powerful love can be."

"I know," Bellatrix sighed. "And I only know because of us. Nothing else in my life has ever tempted me from the Dark Lord, or even given me real reason to leave Rodolphus considering we barely saw each other anyway."

"What... what did happen with you and Voldemort? I mean..."

"I know what you mean," Bellatrix said instantly, sounding bitter. "And the answer is nothing. Nothing. I gave him nearly thirty years of service and not once did he acknowledge my feelings. He is... _was_... the only man I ever considered in such a way. I think it was the power he held over me that was so attractive."

Hermione was relieved that nothing had ever transpired between Voldemort and Bellatrix, but there was still something about Bellatix's answer that puzzled her. "But you hate being told what to do," she pointed out. "I know I'm less worthy to you because of my heritage, but I imagine that even if I were a pure-blood you would still want a certain level of control over me."

"Just because I have problems treating you as my equal, it doesn't mean that you don't have power over me. I betrayed my cause for you... I'd say that makes you extremely powerful," Bellatrix said in a quiet tone.

When she looked at it from that perspective, Hermione supposed that Bellatrix was right. Had it not been for the strength of her feelings, Bellatrix would never have given up Voldemort, and it had been her who pushed so hard for Bellatrix to see her as a person. Nobody else had ever been able to stop Bellatrix from torturing them, or persuaded her to stop fighting for Voldemort. Even now that Bellatrix openly admitted she believed her to be a less deserving witch, she still loved and valued Hermione in her own insane way. Upon further consideration, Hermione thought it was a little endearing to know that Bellatrix ignored the inbuilt beliefs that she had followed for years on end, just so she could be with a Mudblood.

"So I'm guessing I'm the first person you've slept with who isn't a pure-blood?" Hermione asked inquisitively.

Bellatrix stared. "Is that your not-so-subtle way of asking me if I've ever shagged anyone other than Rodolphus?"

Hermione shrugged.

"Well I'm not answering it," Bellatrix said petulantly, nose in the air. "It's absolutely none of your business."

Although Hermione was inclined to say she felt it was very much her business, she didn't want to start a fight with Bellatrix and turn this into a horrible memory for her to look back on in years to come. Nevertheless, in her own head, she surmised it was highly likely that Bellatrix had at some stage in her life been intimate with a woman in one form or another, purely because she had known exactly what to do and how to turn her on. Her lack of nerves could be explained away by the mere fact that nervousness wasn't in Bellatrix's nature, but her experienced approach to sex was less easily answered.

At some stage in the future she would be bound to get information out of Bellatrix if she pestered her enough, but she refused to allow herself to ruin the moment. Still, she couldn't help wondering what it was that Bellatrix was unwilling to discuss with her, and what exactly she was hiding. There was _something_ secret, she was almost certain of it, but she had no idea what that _something_ was. Therefore, she decided the most sensible course of action to take would be to accept Bellatrix's answer easily, and move onto other subjects of curiosity.

"Fine. But you were married to Rodolphus for a long time," Hermione said slowly, thinking over her words carefully before she spoke them so as not to irritate Bellatrix. "Why did you remain in an unhappy marriage, even before Voldemort?"

"I was in a pure-blood marriage arranged by my parents," Bellatrix said. "Happiness wasn't a factor."

"But surely your parents wanted you to be happy?" Hermione asked, somewhat naively.

Bellatrix gave an unpleasant laugh. "All my parents cared about was the Black family reputation. A trait they ultimately passed on to myself and Narcissa, I suppose." She gazed deeply into Hermione's eyes, and for once, her eyes were brighter, less intimidating than they usually were. "You don't understand, because you are not a pure-blood."

"Andromeda is a pure-blood, and as you well know, she rejected what your parents tried to teach her," Hermione stated. "She chose love over her family."

"And suffered the consequences," Bellatrix replied. "She could have had _everything_, and she gave it up for one man who isn't even alive anymore."

Hermione considered this was very much like Bellatrix and Voldemort. She had served an evil being who had never given her anything in return for her devout loyalty, and had ripped her family apart. If Voldemort had never existed, then who was to say that Bellatrix would not have been so intent on pure-bloods ruling the wizarding world? She could have been a better aunt to Tonks, and a better cousin to Sirius. And even if the family was still estranged, she most definitely wouldn't have spent over fourteen years in Azkaban for a crime she didn't commit. Instead, her relatives were dead at the hands of her old Master. Still, Hermione had no intention of saying this aloud, and so she kept her mouth shut regarding this touchy subject.

"A man she had years of happiness with," Hermione reasoned, sticking to the safer topic. "And that's what _you_ don't understand, Bella, because you've never been truly happy. You've allowed darkness and obsession into your life, but when has anything you've ever done made you happy for more than a few minutes? I'm not saying that whatever this is between us is perfect; it's completely insane if anything, but it makes me happy. _You _make me happy."

"Are you saying that what I believe is wrong? That being proud of my blood purity is wrong?" Bellatrix accused, discounting Hermione's words.

"Not at all. I accept what you believe, but you should accept that I'm proud to be a Mudblood," Hermione declared.

"I thought you hated the meaning of that word?"

Hermione shrugged. "I suppose I need to get over it. I've just watched a lot of people that I cared about die not only for the greater good, but for Mudbloods like me. After everything I've seen and been through, I don't really mind referring to myself as one. It's the connotations behind the word that I hate more."

Shifting over, Bellatrix placed an arm over Hermione, leaning herself half against the bed, and half against Hermione's chest. Looking thoughtful, she began to brush her fingers over Hermione's arm. "I realised entirely that you were different the moment I scratched the word _Mudblood_ onto your arm. I felt... well, I'm not really sure what it was," Bellatrix reflected. "But I honestly didn't take pleasure in the fact that I harmed you. At the time it was just so maddening to have all these feelings and I didn't want, and didn't have any control over. I accept that I went overboard at Malfoy Manor too, but I was conscious of not acting like myself, and drawing attention from Lucius."

"It's ok," Hermione promised. "I understand and I forgive you. For everything."

She meant it, too. Very rarely did life offer people the opportunity to change so drastically, especially after committing the sort of crimes that Bellatrix had. Hermione didn't know exactly details (and she didn't want to ever find out either) but she had done a lot of terrible things. If there was even the slightest chance of redemption for Bellatrix, then she was more than willing to be there. It was more than likely that she'd have to suffer herself along the way, but she was prepared to do that, even if it hurt sometimes. Hermione guessed that nothing could be worse than what she had already been through, as long as she was coming home to Bellatrix at the end of the day, and as long as there was still happiness interjected occasionally. Hopefully, that happiness would increase tenfold if luck was on her side, and she was eventually able to bring her parents back where they belonged in the UK, with their memories intact once more.

"You really do, don't you, little babe?" Bellatrix said affectionately.

"Yes," Hermione said, smiling. Wondering aloud and wanting to discuss lighter subjects after such a heave discussion, she asked, "So do you think that _Semper_ _Amor_ made this whole experience better for us?"

"Definitely," Bellatrix said, no doubt whatsoever in her voice. "It'll be harder for you to tell as you have nothing to compare it to, but I've never ever experienced anything like that before."

"How do you know that isn't just because you've only ever had really bad sex before me?" Hermione teased, no longer anywhere near as embarrassed and finally able to say _sex _aloud now that she'd actually lost her virginity.

"I just do," Bellatrix said, rolling her eyes. "Either way, does it matter?"

"No," Hermione whispered lovingly. She looked longingly at Bellatrix, hoping she would read the message on her face (or knowing Bellatrix, breaking into her mind) that she wasn't ready for this to be over yet. More than ever she wanted to keep going until it really hurt her to move, so that she could fall asleep in Bellatrix's arms, contented and exhausted from the most special loss she had yet to experience in her life.

Evidently understanding what Hermione wanted, a shadow of a smile crossed Bellatrix's face, before she pressed her lips to Hermione's. Reciprocating, Hermione enveloped Bellatrix in her arms once more, hungrily responding to her touch.

_Hmmm. Perfect._


	25. Chapter 25

Sorry for the delay- I can't even begin to describe how crazy life is for me right now! I literally have so many plans made I haven't had time to sleep, haha. Anyway, hope you enjoy, and thanks as always for the reviews you lovely people. :)

**GothicPheonix-** Don't worry about the review length, I love long reviews so it's absolutely fine and there's no need to apologise! :) If I do a sequel then I would assume at some stage Draco and Hermione would talk, though nothing has been planned yet so I can't say for certain. I am however, very glad that my story inspires such a reaction from you! I've done my best to make this fit into canon because I knew it would be more realistic that way so I'm happy I've managed to do that. I doubt I'll ever be lucky enough to get published, but thank you all the same for your praise!

**Guru of Gaming-** Haha, thanks for that! I see what you were trying to get at, don't worry. :)

* * *

_Some say, the road is clear  
Some say, confront your fears  
Some say, but can you feel the love that do?_

_Kristian Leontiou, Some Say_

* * *

_**25.**_

A few days later and although Hermione was glad to be with Bellatrix, the reality of life after the war had set in. She had finally been forced to think about the deaths of her friends due to their funerals taking place, and so she supposed that the most accurate way of describing her current state was that she was in the midst of grieving. Unfortunately, any initial happiness or distraction Bellatrix had provided was no longer enough to sustain her entirely, or keep her mood upbeat.

She was doing all she could to act like her normal self, not wanting Bellatrix to realise there was something wrong. It was hard though; she had attended so many funerals in such a short space of time that it felt as though each ceremony melted into another, with no true distinction between them all. Due to the vast numbers that had been killed in the Battle of Hogwarts, the funerals had been spread out, none clashing with another to ensure that everyone had the opportunity to attend all the funerals they wished to. Hermione had gone to as many as humanely possible; Fred, Tonks, Lupin and Snape all top of the list, and of course, a small get together to say a proper goodbye to Dobby that they hadn't had a chance to do before.

Bellatrix had refused to attend every funeral, and she didn't even attempt to arrange one for Rodolphus. Hermione supposed that a funeral hadn't even been held for him in the end considering that the only people who would ever given a damn about him were now dead as in the case of Rabastan Lestrange, or otherwise holed away in Azkaban. Surprisingly however, Bellatrix had shown her face at the site of Dobby's burial after the goodbye itself had taken place. She had stood before the grave, nodding her head once and turning away; her own version of an apology and goodbye. For a moment it had been touch and go whether Ron was going to punch her, but Harry, for all the love he had held for the free elf who had saved their lives, at least had managed to keep a dignified silence. Hermione could read his face well enough to realise that he still detested Bellatrix, but the brotherly love he felt for her was evidently strong enough to prevent him from causing an unnecessary scene. Dumbledore's proclamation that everyone deserves a second chance was something Harry had fully taken onboard; especially after all the times he wrongly doubted Snape, and so he more than others was willing to accept Bellatrix.

In addition to the stress of the funerals on her emotions, Hermione was now faced with the prospect of the first meeting between Bellatrix and Andromeda at Malfoy Manor after a letter to Bellatrix from Narcissa had arrived that morning, inviting them to attend. She could only hope that didn't take place in the drawing room; the one area of the home that seriously unnerved her considering the torture she had suffered there. Despite Hermione's dread, she and Bellatrix used the Floo Network to travel to Narcissa's, whilst she tried not to think too hard about her experiences and attempted to keep a clear head. Before she knew it she arrived at the fireplace in Malfoy Manor, where Bellatrix paused, staring into thin air. Her hands were placed on her hips, emphasising her figure in the black corset dress that she wore, and she twirled her wand around in her hands.

"What is it?" Hermione asked patiently, forcing herself to focus on Bellatrix's feelings rather than her own. "Are you nervous?"

"No!" Bellatrix snapped, obviously insulted at the suggestion. "I just... well I'm wondering if Andromeda is going to curse me."

"She won't," Hermione promised, trying to keep it together as she didn't want Bellatrix to know how apprehensive she felt herself about the upcoming reunion. "And if she does then don't respond; let me handle it."

"As much as I appreciate the gesture, sweetie, you're eighteen years old. I can look after myself, as I've explained before," Bellatrix said, raising her eyebrows.

Despite the fact her reaction irritated Hermione, she decided that to argue the point would be futile. Instead, she simply rolled her eyes when Bellatrix wasn't looking, and began to walk through the somewhat familiar corridor that she and Bellatrix had walked along last time to reach the sitting room, with Bellatrix alongside her. Unlike she had on the previous occasion, Bellatrix didn't wrap an arm around Hermione, although she did casually place a hand against her rear as they walked together.

"Bella," Hermione protested, worried that they would be seen by Narcissa, Draco, or even worse, Lucius, as they stumbled upon them in their family home. "Stop!" She grabbed hold of Bellatrix's hand, and moved it away.

"You know," Bellatrix whispered, clutching Hermione's arm, "They might not even know we're here yet. Why don't we find a room and spend some time together, hmm?"

Hermione sighed, "We've _spent time together o_n average for three hours every night and two hours every morning over the past few days. I don't think it's necessary for us to continue here."

It seemed that ever since she had lost her virginity, Hermione had been feeling strangely open about sex. It helped her to forget about the sadness she held within and made it easier for her to pretend that everything was ok. It was amazing to think she had come so far in such a short space of time, but there was something about the older witch that drew her in even when she told herself that she'd had enough. Perhaps it was just because she was getting used to the new sensations within her body? Whatever the reason, it was definitely welcome. Judging by her responses, Bellatrix thought so too. _Fortunately._

Bellatrix pouted. "It'll be fun though."

"No," Hermione shook her head. "Let's just do what we came here to do, and then when we get back you can do whatever you want."

There was an evil glint in Bellatrix's eye. "Anything?"

"Yes... no! I don't know what you're thinking, but no. It has to be within reason," Hermione said firmly.

Flashing Hermione a grin, Bellatrix kissed her fervently on the mouth, unaware that Narcissa had just appeared alongside them, from a door to the left. The second that Hermione spotted the blonde woman, she pulled back from Bellatrix, conscious of Narcissa's reaction. To give her credit, she hadn't showed outrage as such, but she did wrinkle her nose at the scene before her. Hermione decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and to assume she just didn't want to see her sister with her tongue in someone else's mouth, as opposed to being disgusted at the fact it was a Muggle-born girl that she was kissing.

"You know, Cissy, it's rude to stare," Bellatrix said petulantly the moment she set eyes on Narcissa.

Whilst a comment such as this would have drawn a flustered expression from most people, Narcissa simple arched an eyebrow. "If we're on the subject of rudeness, Bella, it's entirely vulgar of you to display such behaviour in someone else's home," she responded, with an air of superiority.

Hermione could see that Bellatrix was about to reply with something even more offensive than had come from her mouth so far, and so she made the decision to step in before things got any worse. It wasn't that she agreed with Narcissa, or even particularly liked her, but she had more chance of getting Bellatrix to listen to her than she did of persuading Narcissa. Unconcerned with the fact that Narcissa could see every move she made, she squeezed Bellatrix's arm, and leant in towards her raven haired lover. "Be nice," she whispered, so that only Bellatrix could hear her, though she kept her eyes trained on Narcissa. "Not only will it confuse her, but I promise I'll make it worth your while later on."

"And how do you propose to do that?" Bellatrix said in a low voice.

"I'm sure we can agree on something between us," Hermione breathed into Bellatrix's ear.

Bellatrix jerked her head to signal her agreement, and then turned to Narcissa. "Where am I going to be meeting with Andromeda?" she asked, perfectly polite.

"The sitting room where I have already spoken with her," Narcissa stated, and if she was confused by the sudden change in Bellatrix's attitude, she didn't let on. "Come."

Obliging, Bellatrix and Hermione followed, and this time Bellatrix behaved and kept her hands to herself. Extremely grateful for this and feeling bold, Hermione reached an arm around Bellatrix hoping that Bellatrix would not reject her gesture. Although Bellatrix had been surprisingly generous when it came to initiating contact with her, when the situations were reversed it was still unknown territory for Hermione. It wasn't just because of her nerves; she had enough courage flowing through her veins to combat that, but she always found herself weighting up the odds of Bellatrix accepting her touch. More often than not she was almost certain that Bellatrix would dislike the feeling as she considered that Hermione had too much control over her, but sometimes, like today, she sensed it would be ok.

Half-heartedly, Bellatrix rolled her eyes, but she didn't push Hermione away, or give any other indication that she was unhappy. When Hermione shot her a small, apprehensive smile, she merely looked amused, and before Bellatrix could seem to think of a sarcastic comment to make, they had arrived outside the shut door of the sitting room. _Here goes._

Narcissa paused before entering, and with her hand on the door handle, she looked over her shoulder at Bellatrix and Hermione and said calmly, "Andromeda first requested that she see you alone, Bellatrix, but after I informed her of your... _friendship_ with Miss Granger, she asked that she accompany you."

Bellatrix shrugged. "Whatever." There was not an air of anxiety in her voice, or any sign that she was about to meet with the sister she had not seen for thirty years; if anything, she looked bored by the whole state of affairs.

As Narcissa stepped back to allow them entry, Bellatrix moved forward and wrenched the door open without hesitation. Trying to adopt the same stance as Bellatrix to hide her anxiety, Hermione followed her into the room, closing the door behind herself. She doubted very much that the Malfoy's were the sort of people who would stand outside doors eavesdropping and so she didn't bother to charm the room, not concerned that they would be overheard. Besides, even if anyone were to listen; did it really matter?

Setting eyes on Andromeda was entirely different to the first time that she had met Narcissa. The similarities between Bellatrix and Andromeda were far more obvious than those between Bellatrix and Narcissa, for varying reasons. Firstly, Andromeda had the same head of curls that Bellatrix did, except hers were lighter, fairer, and her eyes rounder and a softer brown. Not to mention that she was taller by several inches, and her curves weren't quite as pronounced. There was a guarded expression on her face, and she did not smile at either Bellatrix or Hermione, offer her hand or even speak. Evidently, she was waiting for Bellatrix to make the first move.

"Andromeda," Bellatrix pronounced slowly, watching her younger sister from across the room where she stood.

"Bellatrix," Andromeda replied, fixing a steely gaze on her older sister.

Intrigued by the interaction between the two, Hermione's eyes flitted from one to the other, wondering who would be the first to say something of any significance. At the moment it was a battle of wills, but there was no telling if Bellatrix would allow the anger she held inside to erupt at Andromeda as she made her views clear on what she thought of her long lost sister, or if she would restrain herself, realising that she probably only had one chance at this. Moreover, Andromeda had just as much right (_more rights_) to blow up at Bellatrix considering the fact she had committed many evil acts in the past, and so the tension radiating from her body language fizzed against Bellatrix's as each painful second passed.

It was possible that they would avoid talking about any issues of significance, but Hermione doubted that it was in either of their natures to just sit in a room and avoid the obvious. From what she had so far learnt about the three Black sisters, that was more Narcissa's style than her dark haired counterparts. _Oh__ the wonders of denial._

"You must be Hermione," Andromeda said slowly. Her face was slightly less impassive than Bellatrix's, and as much as Hermione hated to admit it, somehow far more human too.

"Yes," Hermione said, managing to smile. "It's... it's good to meet you."

Although Hermione didn't expect her to, Andromeda returned the smile. "Likewise. I've heard a lot about you from..." she paused, and the smile disappeared from her face as she seemed to struggle to compose herself. "Well, from Nymphadora. She likes... _liked_ you."

"I liked her too," Hermione said softly. "You're probably fed up of hearing it by now, but I'm sorry for your loss. I would have told you at the service held for Tonks... I mean Nymphadora... but I didn't want to intrude on your goodbye."

"Thank you," Andromeda said, though there was no real upset in her voice. Hermione supposed she was all cried out by now, and instead was only capable of feeling numb. "I appreciate that. Even if you had spoken to me at the funeral, I doubt I would have remembered; it was all such a blur for me. After I made the preparations I don't really remember much of it."

Hermione's heart went out to the woman before her; the incredible, strong woman who had lost a husband and daughter, but still managed to stand up with her head held high, looking beyond presentable. It amazed her in a way, for she was sure that had she been in that situation, she would have gone to pieces. Bravery wasn't enough sometimes, there had to be an inherent, unknown strength within a person to get them through the horrendous experiences that life threw at them.

Tonks' funeral had been held at the same time as her husband's; Remus Lupin. The service was utterly beautiful, and various members of the Order had spoken about Tonks' and Lupin, detailing their various achievements and the risks they had taken in the name of the Greater Good. Molly Weasley had tearfully described how loved they were by friends and family, and Kingsley had talked about Lupin's teaching aptitude, and Tonks' stupendous abilities as an Auror. It had been sad to hear, but Hermione's emotions had been frozen throughout, and she'd sat at the back of the Church with her head down and the hood of her cloak up to avoid drawing attention to herself. It was an action she had chosen to take for all of the services she had attended, not wishing for confrontation with anyone; especially the Weasley family who had no doubt heard about herself and Bellatrix by now. She had done the same at Fred's funeral, watching with a heart-wrenching pain in her chest as Molly Weasley sobbed throughout the service, comforted by Charlie. Harry had stood with the Weasley's, as much a part of the family as any of the Weasleys, and it served to remind her that somewhere in the depths of Australia, her own parents were out there.

Cutting into the lengthy silence, Bellatrix walked over to the mahogany drinks cabinet, and poured herself a Firewhiskey. Turning to Hermione and Andromeda, she asked casually, "Want one?"

Hermione shook her head, as did Andromeda.

"Fine," Bellatrix said, and after gulping down the first glass, she poured herself a second, her hand giving a slight shake as she did so.

It was at this point that Hermione realised that Bellatrix was not as controlled as she attempted to portray herself to be. The fact that she was drinking, the shaking hand, and her reluctance to directly face Andromeda head on all indicated that she was out of her comfort zone. She knew that she couldn't curse Andromeda, or even shout abuse at her without some sort of repercussion, and so she distanced herself from the situation, waiting for Andromeda to say or do something first. Unfortunately, Andromeda appeared to be just as stubborn, (although not as uncomfortable as Bellatrix) and so it would be down to Hermione to try to engineer this situation.

"I think we should sit down," she suggested, walking over to the same sofa she had sat on during her first visit to Narcissa's, and making herself comfortable. Andromeda sat opposite her wordlessly, and Bellatrix placed herself stiffly next to Hermione, now holding her third glass of Firewhiskey. Exasperated, Hermione decided to be blunt. "Ok, someone is going to have to talk at some point."

Silence.

"Bella?" she tried, facing the older witch. "Don't you have_ anything_ to say?"

"Nothing springs to mind."

Hermione sighed, and facing Andromeda, waited expectantly.

"I have something to say," Andromeda announced, and Hermione's heart leaped. _Finally, progress!_

"You're a hypocritical bitch, Bellatrix."

Hermione groaned aloud, her head slumping into her lap. That was not the sort of conversation starter she had been looking for; Andromeda had practically given Bellatrix carte blanche to say whatever she felt like in response now. It had irritated Bellatrix enough when Narcissa made the comparison between Hermione and Ted, suggesting that Bellatrix had copied what Andromeda had done and fallen for a Muggle-born. For the accusation to be thrown at her by Andromeda directly was even worse. There was nothing Hermione could say to prevent Bellatrix from retaliating, and so she simply sat still, bracing herself for whatever abuse was to spout from Bellatrix's mouth.

"My relationship is different," Bellatrix said sharply, shocking Hermione just by referring to what they had between them as a relationship. "Don't you dare try to imply that we are the same!"

"Well in that case then don't give me that absurd _Semper Amor_ nonsense!" Andromeda snapped. Apparently Narcissa had gone into detail as to how Hermione and Bellatrix had come to form a relationship, for there was no other way that Andromeda could possibly know about the ancient magic. "Even if that didn't exist between you both, something else did. You did what most people do every day, and for once did something normal in your life. _You fell in love._ That's all there is to it!"

Nostrils flaring, Bellatrix hissed at her sister, "You understand nothing."

"I understand enough," Andromeda retorted. "Why can't you just admit you have been wrong all this time to treat me the way you have? Narcissa has. Narcissa even_ apologised_. I don't expect that from you but if you at least saw the error of your ways; that would be a start!"

To hear that Narcissa had apologised did shock Hermione somewhat; she never expected the blonde witch to go so far, even for the sake of her reputation. Whatever her motives, she had evidently done a good enough job to convince Andromeda if she was bringing it up now to Bellatrix. In turn, Andromeda was most likely trying to secure something of sustenance from Bellatrix, like an explanation for the decisions she had made, or reason, or simply for her to admit she had been a fool by the sounds of things. However, she seemed to fail to comprehend that Bellatrix was still Bellatrix; selfish, crazy, and stubborn. She was improving with time, but miracles couldn't be expected.

"I haven't actually done anything to you," Bellatrix snarled. "I disowned you, but name one other thing I have done to hurt you."

"Attacked my daughter?" Andromeda shrieked.

"I have _never _injured her!" Bellatrix screamed, and she stood up, eyes flashing. "I tried to kill her, yes. _Once!_ Once when Potter was fleeing to the Order's home last summer."

"And that makes it alright because it was only once?" Andromeda said, standing too. "You have done horrible things, many of which put Nymphadora's life at risk whilst she was still alive! What about the time she was at Molly and Arthur's when you crashed through their property and destroyed their home?"

"Ok, fine," Bellatrix conceded. "I did that. But that was for fun, not to harm your daughter!"

Andromeda shook her head. "You're unbelievable. Do you not see what you've done? You have been instrumental to Voldemort's survival, to his power. You've helped the cause that murdered my husband, daughter, and cousin, Sirius. And the worst part is; you don't even care. You stand here before me, and you offer no sympathy, no affection, not even an explanation. Well you know what, Bellatrix? _Fuck you_." She span around, striding towards the door.

Hermione wanted to say something to stop her, but Bellatrix spoke first. "Wait."

Andromeda turned.

Now Bellatrix looked uncomfortable. "I know... well, I understand why, from your point of view you're angry."

Andromeda grabbed the door handle. "Not good enough."

"No, wait. I've... I've been a terrible sister to you. Rightly or wrongly, I've devoted myself to the cause that killed your daughter. I accept that," Bellatrix said, flushing as she made such a personal admission.

Unable to prevent herself from staring at Bellatrix, shocked at her words, Hermione openly gaped at her, wondering how and why she was suddenly so open. It shocked her that Bellatrix was capable of speaking such words aloud without being under the influence of truth serum, or even duress. Moreover, the fact that her revelation had been to her sister that she had not seen or spoken to for thirty years made it all the more bewildering; what was it about Andromeda that made Bellatrix so readily speak to her when provoked? Even Hermione hadn't been capable of making her do that yet, and she had always imagined that other than Voldemort, Bellatrix had been most honest with herself due to Semper Amor. As far as Narcissa was concerned, fair enough, she loved her, but Narcissa was closed off and so concerned with her reputation that Bellatrix was unlikely to be entirely honest with her.

"Why should I believe you?" Andromeda asked, somewhat wearily, as though tired of the situation that had lasted years.

Eyes flitting over towards Hermione's direction, Bellatrix didn't reply verbally, though it was obvious what she was thinking. Hermione knew what Bellatrix was thinking even without being able to practice Legilimency; what more proof could Andromeda want than the fact Bellatrix had been accompanied by a Muggle-born to the meeting?

"She isn't proof," Andromeda stated. "This could be just another game to you, Bellatrix." It seemed clear to Hermione that Andromeda was reluctant to believe Bellatrix really did care for her, even despite Semper Amor.

"It isn't," Hermione interjected gently, understanding Andromeda's point of view entirely. "I thought that too at first, but even Bellatrix wouldn't fake this for so long. Not to mention the fact that I know from my own feelings that this really is _Semper Amor_."

"You don't know her like I do," Andromeda informed Hermione. "It's not your fault, Hermione, but you haven't been around her long enough to see the evil she is capable of."

"I have," Hermione disagreed. "And I don't believe that just because Bellatrix has done evil things in the past that she is incapable of change eventually. You don't understand; Dumbledore always claimed that love was stronger and more powerful than evil, and he has been proved right. Think about it. You rejected your upbringing because of love, and even after all this time, Bellatrix has done the same. Not in quite the same way, but it has happened, and that's all that matters."

"What makes you think that she loves you?" Andromeda accused, sounding unnervingly like Bellatrix.

"I just know," Hermione stated without hesitation.

Looking expectantly at Bellatrix, Hermione waited for some sort of confirmation from her. Apparently, Andromeda had chosen to do the same, as she remained silent too, evidently reserving any further protestations until she had heard from her older sister. In this respect Andromeda reminded Hermione more of Narcissa than Bellatrix, for the latter was far too impatient to wait in an argument, preferring to keep it going until she either got her own way or until the individual she was arguing with backed down.

"Nice of you both to remember I'm still here," Bellatrix said sarcastically. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Andromeda gave a frustrated sigh. Although Hermione didn't react to Bellatrix's mockery, she was slightly irritated with it, and privately agreed with Andromeda, when she said, "This is serious. Do you love her?"

"That's irrelevant," Bellatrix replied.

"Not to me it isn't," Andromeda argued.

"Or me," Hermione said quietly.

Bellatrix groaned. "If it shuts you both up, yes. Now can we move on?"

Despite the derision in Bellatrix's voice, Hermione felt her heart soar. Not only had she admitted she loved Hermione, she had done it in front of someone else, which at least suggested that she wasn't entirely ashamed of her feelings. Even if she had yet to go out in public with Hermione, it was early days, and this was a big enough step in itself. It took all of Hermione's self-control not to throw herself against Bellatrix and drag her home to show her how grateful she was, because she knew it was imperative that she remained so Bellatrix could at least come to some sort of resolution with Andromeda. _Yes!_

"Move on to what?" Andromeda asked. "I have to be honest with you Bellatrix, I'm not sure where we can go from here. So much time has passed, and we're so utterly different."

"Then why are we even meeting?" Bellatrix said, sounding aghast. "Why have I wasted my time here?"

"I suppose I wanted to see if you really had changed," Andromeda said. "Which I'm not sure you have."

Bellatrix shrugged. "I've changed in many ways... just not to the extent that you appear to expect from me."

Andromeda ignored her. "I nearly didn't meet you today; I changed my mind at the last minute after speaking to Narcissa and learning about you and Hermione. I wanted to see if that was true," she added.

Bellatrix snorted. "You've got your answer as far as that's concerned. Anything else?"

With a frown, Andromeda seemed to consider something in her head. "Yes, actually. Why did _you _agree to meet _me_? I think it's pretty obvious that Narcissa feels a certain amount of guilt for the years we've spent apart, but you don't."

"So because of that you want us to lead separate lives and never talk again?" Bellatrix asked, her face impassive.

"That's not what I'm saying," Andromeda said, quieter now. "This is a hard decision for me to make." She stopped talking, and Hermione could see that she was having an internal debate with herself, possibly weighing up the pros and cons of making amends with Bellatrix.

It was equally as hard for Hermione to try and work out exactly how Bellatrix felt about Andromeda now that they had been face to face once more. It was impossible to tell what she was thinking and whether she was happy to just walk away and give up the possibility of a relationship with her younger sister. From her reaction earlier when Andromeda tried to leave, Hermione surmised that on some level she _did _care, but as to what extent, she was unable to tell. It was clear that the two sisters would always bicker, even if they did manage to recover from the estrangement, but getting to the stage where they sometimes got along again was going to be the hardest part.

Eventually, Andromeda spoke once more, ignoring the impatient expression on Bellatrix's face. "I suppose I can try to come to terms with the things you have done, but only if you really do want us to stay in contact, and most importantly, if you're prepared to accept Teddy."

"Teddy?" Bellatrix frowned.

"My grandson. I'm all he has now, and his wellbeing is my only concern," Andromeda confessed. "I wasn't sure whether to bring Teddy, but I decided against it in case things became heated or... well... you didn't respond well to him."

"I'm... willing to get to know him, "Bellatrix said stiffly. "I suppose it'll be like when Draco was a baby, though of course he is a pureblood, whereas Teddy is a half-blood."

"If it's an issue for you that he is a half-blood then perhaps it is best we go our separate..."

"No, it's fine," Bellatrix interrupted. "I hardly have any right to complain about his blood status considering recent choices I have made, whether due to _Semper Amor_ or not," Bellatrix explained, referring to Hermione.

Andromeda looked visibly relieved.

"What, did you think I was going to curse him?" Bellatrix said, now sounding amused. "In case you haven't noticed, my violent nature has had to be seriously toned down. A small price to pay for my freedom, I suppose, but just to make it clear, I'm not going to do anything to hurt him. Even when your daughter was a child I didn't..." she stopped speaking, apparently unable to find a delicate way of saying what Hermione knew she was thinking;_ I didn't try and kill her._

"You'd better mean that, Bellatrix," Andromeda said fiercely, and once more, she resembled Bellatrix so closely that it left Hermione feeling bewildered. "Because he is all I have, and if you ever think about hurting him, I won't hesitate to kill you myself."

Bellatrix opened her mouth to retort, but sensing the conversation was about to take another turn for the worse, Hermione headed Bellatrix off. "She won't, Andromeda. Will you, Bella?" she said lightly.

Catching sight of the look of warning on Hermione's face, Bellatrix nodded. Even if the result of this was an argument later on, Hermione felt that it was worth it, if only for Andromeda and Bellatrix to decide on forging some sort of sisterly bond that had long been neglected. With time, as each positive little aspect of Bellatrix's life changed, improved, or came back to her, Hermione was hopeful that it would allow the older witch to start blending into society once more, and to change her views on blood purity. Maybe she was just a dreamer, but she was determined to give it her best shot before resigning herself to the fact that she was just the lucky exception in Bellatrix's life.

Edging towards the door, Andromeda said awkwardly, "Right, well I should go. Teddy needs me... he's not been sleeping well since... well... it's a nightmare even getting him to fall asleep in the first place," she cleared her throat in an attempt to compose herself. "Anyway, I'll be in touch with Narcissa and... she'll let you know when we intend arrange something."

"Fine," Bellatrix said, and just as Andromeda had started to leave the room, she added, "You should let him clutch your finger when you're trying to get him to sleep. Cissy never slept well, if you remember, and it's what we used to do to help her."

Andromeda looked back at Bellatrix, surprised. "I'd forgotten about that," she said, looking at Bella with surprise and awe. "I'll try it. Thank you."

Bellatrix nodded her head to acknowledge the thanks, but didn't offer any verbal reply.

"It was nice to meet you, Hermione. Hopefully we'll see each other again soon," Andromeda said kindly. "Goodbye, Bellatrix." She gave her older sister a small smile.

"Goodbye," Bellatrix said, and although she didn't smile, the corners of her mouth did twitch briefly.

Andromeda left, closing the door behind her and leaving Hermione and Bellatrix alone.

"I think I did well, don't you?" Bellatrix said airily.

"Yes," Hermione said, because all things considered, it could have gone a lot worse. The very fact that no curses had been thrown back and forth was a miracle in itself.

"You do owe me though," Bellatrix said. "After all your interrupting and answering questions for me."

"I was doing you a favour! Hermione said hotly.

Bellatrix waved off her words. "If you say so. Let's go before Narcissa starts asking questions too."

"We're not going to say goodbye?" Hermione asked with a frown.

"No," Bellatrix said, sounding bored. "I honestly can't be bothered to deal with her right now so it's easier if we just leave."

Biting her tongue, Hermione didn't protest or argue with Bellatrix, mainly because she just wanted to get out of there and to go home. She supposed that Andromeda would have left by now or else was chatting to Narcissa, and so in fairness to Bellatrix it was as good a time as any to make an escape. There was still something about Malfoy Manor that unnerved her, and Hermione assumed that until she had visited the residence a great deal more often it was a feeling that would remain. It wasn't that she felt unsafe here, that wasn't it at all, but the fact that it was the home of Lucius Malfoy made her feel uncomfortable. She may not have set eyes on him since she had briefly come across him at the Battle of Hogwarts and he may not be a danger to her anymore, but that didn't mean she was happy to be a guest in his home. Therefore, staying close to Bellatrix, she allowed her to lead the way back to the fireplace to go back to Black Manor. _To our home_.


	26. Chapter 26

Thank you for the reviews beautiful people! :3

**greeneleka-** Hehe, I love psychology so I'm glad that as a Psychologist you're a fan. My best friend is an Assistant Psychologist so I'm always asking her about psychology related topics! Thank you very much. :)

**Kriszti7-** I've left the promise to your imagination but there may be a one-shot in the future if I feel like it! I'm planning on writing more fics... most likely Hermione/Narcissa next, or maybe a Hermione/Bellatrix again if inspiration hits me. :)

**Lalala-** If I do decide to do that, it'll be a long way off. It's a cute idea though. :)

**deedeex912-** Thanks. :) The best I can suggest is to save my story to a word document... I'm fine with that! I doubt J.K Rowling would ever want me to publish this so it'll just stay as a fanfic, but I'm happy that you think it's good enough. :)

**ILoveBellatrix-** Haha... I thought that name was a nice touch. :P

**RedSteel001-** I have to be honest, I'm not a Ron fan. If I had my way he would never have gone near Hermione but as I stuck to canon, it was an unfortunate must for me to put in. :P Glad you like the Hermione/Bellatrix pairing now, and thank you!

**Bella-Mimi-** No problem. :) Yep, I came up with Semper Amor all by myself, hehe. The words are real (they're Latin as are a lot of words that J.K Rowling uses) but the concept of Sempter Amor is entirely my own. And as stated above, I have planned to write more stories!

* * *

_You'll always be my hero_

_Even though you've lost your mind_

_Rihanna, Love The Way You Lie Part 2_

* * *

_**26.**_

Life continued much the same as it had been since Voldemort's defeat, with Hermione and Bellatrix both attempting to settle into some sort of a routine. Hermione wasn't entirely sure how Bellatrix felt about the way each day played out, but for herself it was odd to wake up in the same place every day. For so long she hadn't had a proper base, meaning that to finally settle down and not have any real reason to get up was an alien concept to her. Hermione hadn't really considered what the future held for herself and Bellatrix, but a letter from Harry that arrived with Pidwidgeon, Ron's owl, reminded her whilst she was eating her breakfast alone one morning that a world existed outside of Bellatrix and her family.

...

...

_Hermione,_

_How are you? I'm staying with the Weasleys' at the moment, as you probably guessed. Ron isn't very talkative though, so I've been __spending most of my time with Ginny. It's just strange not to have anything big to worry about, like Voldemort's return now that I know he's not ever coming back. It's been hard convincing myself of that if I'm honest._

_I don't yet know whether Ron and I are going back to Hogwarts for our final year. Are you? I'm guessing you will, even if we don't. _

_I know we haven't seen each other since the Final Battle but that's not because I don't want to see you, it's just been so busy. There are reporters trying to get hold of me all the time, and Kingsley has been in touch about a few things he's needed my help with, mainly to do with the repairs and clean up of Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley and Hogwarts._

_As far as Bellatrix is concerned, it's going to take me a while to get used to the idea of you and her, but I'm doing my best to get accept it, and I'm sure it'll be ok eventually. She didn't kill Sirius, but she did help Voldemort for a very long time, and he's the reason my parents are dead. That's why it's so hard. Still, after Dumbledore turned out to be right about Snape, it made me realise that people can and do change. So I hope you're happy at least. You know where I am if you need me._

_Also, I just wanted to say that you shouldn't pay any attention to what The Daily Prophet said in Friday's edition. You know what they're like! I think it's time you shoved Rita Skeeter into another jar..._

_Come and see me soon? _

_Harry_

_..._

_...  
_

Hermione read through Harry's letter a few times, and was grateful for his kind but honest words regarding Bellatrix. She had been worried he would hold a grudge and things would change between them, but it seemed he was trying to come to terms with it. Her main concern regarding the letter was his brief mention of the Daily Prophet; what had been written that would worry her? Common sense dictated that it was related to Bellatrix, which didn't do anything to subside her fears. Moreover, if it was about Bellatrix then it was unlikely to be anything good, and may even detail their relationship. Word travelled fast, and considering that Ron had probably told the entire Weasley family, half the wizarding community could know by now considering the amount of friends they had.

"Is you alright Miss?" Lemmy piped up kindly, appearing next to Hermione with a crack. "Can Lemmy do anything for you?"

"I... no, I'm not really alright," Hermione admitted.

"What is the matter?" Lemmy asked, sounding concerned. She had focused her large, round eyes upon Hermione, and was waiting expectantly as though she could be of use to her.

"Nothing, Lemmy," Hermione said, watching as the elf looked downcast. Explaining, she added, "There's nothing anyone can do to help with this... it's just a case of waiting."

Hermione hoped that as time passed, the fuss would begin to die down, but then, that would depend on what exactly was being written about them. She had yet to take out a subscription to the Daily Prophet with everything going on, and she had been reluctant anyhow, purely because she didn't want to see the faces of those she loved that had died, knowing they would be in the newspaper and that it would upset her. Naively, she hadn't considered that Bellatrix would be of great interest to the public, having gone from being a wanted Death Eater (perhaps even the most wanted of all) to being free and allowed to live her life. Even if the newspaper had reported that she had aided the greater good during the Final Battle, there would be those who didn't consider it enough or didn't trust her, feeling that she had fooled the Ministry.

Although it would simultaneously cause hurt and anger to read what the Daily Prophet had written, Hermione felt that it was better for her to know in the long run, if only so she could defend herself and Bellatrix if they had to face accusations from others. As of yet nobody had said anything, but it was likely that if she returned to Hogwarts, which she was seriously considering, then people would openly judge them. She dreaded to think what the teachers would say; Professor McGonagall would probably be horrified upon learning of the choices Hermione had made! Hagrid too.

Realising that there was something Lemmy could do for her, Hermione addressed the house-elf, who was still stood before her. "Actually Lemmy... I've thought of something."

"Yes, Miss?" Lemmy said eagerly.

"Can you find me a copy of last Friday's edition of the Daily Prophet? It won't still be on sale, but there must be a way to..."

"Lemmy will handle it Miss," Lemmy interrupted excitedly. "My cousin is house-elf for the Editor of the Daily Prophet... Lemmy will go straight away!" Without even waiting for Hermione to say goodbye, she disappeared with another crack, evidently pleased to be of service to Hermione. Despite the fact Hermione hated the mistreatment of house-elves, she couldn't help but think maybe she had gotten it slightly wrong. Yes, the elves deserved money, clothes, proper treatment and freedom if wanted, but those that were genuinely happy to serve should be allowed to do so too.

For the next fifteen minutes, Hermione waited anxiously, alone in the dining room. Venturing into other areas of the vast house would mean she may come across Bellatrix, and she didn't want to alert the older witch to the fact that there had been newspaper articles written about her. No doubt she would find out eventually, but at least Hermione would be able to forewarn her if she knew what sort of reports they were dealing with. It was just a case of catching her in the right mood and convincing her not to seek out revenge, because as much as Hermione hated Rita Skeeter, (who she assumed had written the article judging by Harry's letter) she didn't want to see Bellatrix back in Azkaban for seeking revenge by torturing her.

The second Lemmy returned, Hermione took the newspaper she held in her hand, and with a muttered thanks, she found that she didn't have to look beyond the front page to find what had been written about Bellatrix. Ignoring the flutter of panic in her chest at seeing Bellatrix's photo of when she was first imprisoned in Azkaban all those years ago, Hermione began to read:

...

...

_A BLACK AFFAIR by Rita Skeeter_

_Bellatrix Lestrange, 48, the most notorious Death Eater of all, is to be pardoned by the Ministry. Imprisoned in 1981 for the torture of famous Aurors, Frank and Alice Longbottom, Lestrange is considered by many to have been nothing but an evil, vicious witch. She has stood by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named throughout the years of his constant rising and falling, and has proclaimed herself to be the most faithful of all. _

_However, the Minister for Magic himself, Kingsley Shacklebolt, states that new evidence has come to light that proves Lestrange's innocence. "Madam Black has now been cleared of committing the original offences against Frank and Alice Longbottom. The Ministry also confirm that she was not responsible for the death of Sirius Black, who in reality was murdered by none other than Voldemort himself. Moreover, in light of the fact she betrayed He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named before his eventual defeat, no further action will be taken against Madam Black. The Ministry as a whole are in agreement for this course of action, and although steps will be taken to ensure that Madam Black received the help she needs, we reiterate that there is no crime left to prosecute her for," says Minister Shacklebolt. Nevertheless, the exact nature of the evidence for Lestrange's change of beliefs has not been officially declared, leaving many doubtful that such evidence even exists. _

_So what is the reason for this pardon? We can only speculate, but we can exclusively reveal that Lestrange is now in a relationship with one third of the trio considered widely responsible for the ultimate downfall of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Who you may ask? Ronald Weasley? Harry Potter himself? No, the MUGGLE-BORN GIRL that Lestrange is now reportedly living with is none other than Hermione Granger. Many will not believe it to be true, for Granger, an 18 year old Muggle-born stands for everything that Lestrange has proclaimed to hate for her entire life._

_At the Final Battle against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Lestrange is known to have defended those fighting against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, as opposed to the Death Eaters themselves. However, there are eye witnesses who claim to have seen her fighting for BOTH sides, cursing anyone that she came into contact with. From this we can only surmise that Lestrange's infamous insanity led her to cause anarchy within the castle, manically cackling along the way. There have even been reports of Lestrange dying, but as she has been confirmed alive by the Ministry itself, this accusation is unfounded._

_Nevertheless, there is also the fact that Lestrange has yet to be seen in public, fuelling the argument that she was killed by none other than Molly Weasley, 49, who many say is the woman responsible for her death. We spoke with Molly Weasley briefly outside her home, and shaken and scared, she refused to confirm anything whilst clutching a kitchen knife in her hand for protection, so paranoid was she that Lestrange may return._

_Lastly, there is also the unanswered issue of Granger having been reported to have imitated Lestrange in an attempt to break into her vault at Gringotts (Granger will not be charged for this offence due to her various connections) to steal valuable items. Is this true? Did Lestrange know? Nobody is aware of the true answer, and so we can only wonder._

_The only thing we know for certain is if Granger really is shacked up with Lestrange, then it's obvious Lestrange isn't the only one who has lost her mind._

_..._

_...  
_

Hermione felt sick. Rita Skeeter was... she was a total bitch. She had somehow managed to turn a positive act that Bellatrix had committed by betraying the Dark Lord, into something sordid and disgusting. Part of Hermione knew it to be revenge for the choices she had made years earlier and her decision to blackmail Rita, but for crying out loud, the old bag had deserved it after the rubbish she had been writing! Her stupid article had basically just outed Hermione and Bellatrix to everyone because there was no way that this was going to be kept quiet from a single witch or wizard now.

Hearing footsteps, Hermione hurriedly folded the newspaper and placed the letter on top. She didn't want Bellatrix to see what she had discovered without having the chance to warn her first of all. Hermione would surmise whether Bellatrix was in a good mood or not, and then make a decision based upon the way she was acting. However, by merely observing Bellatrix's expression she learned nothing, and so she decided to wait until they had spoken until she made a decision.

"What are you doing?" Bellatrix asked curiously, her eyes flitting towards the folded over newspaper and letter.

Hermione smiled what she hoped was a natural smile and kept her face impassive. "I've just finished my breakfast," she stated. Turning it around on Bellatrix, she continued, "What are you doing?"

"Looking for you," Bellatrix said. "I think we should go out."

"You do?" Hermione asked, feeling the dread rise within her. If they were going to leave the house then she would have no choice but to tell Bellatrix, because what if somebody called something offensive out that was related to the article, and Bellatrix didn't understand what was going on? Or worse still, what if she didn't bother to find out and just sent a jinx or hex flying their way? Bellatrix was used to carrying out physical punishments to get what she wanted, but she could do that no more; not with the Ministry watching her so closely, and the fact that she had her first appointment at St. Mungo's with a Soul Healer in three days' time.

"Yes," Bellatrix said firmly. "Diagon Alley. I need a new broom, and I want to change the name of my vault back to Black. Oh, and I want to buy an owl too."

Bellatrix had informed Hermione that both herself and Rodolphus held wizarding wills that stated should either one of them die, the other was to inherit everything. She had gone on to explain that now meant all of the gold and possessions within the vault Hermione had herself visited belonged to Bellatrix only, and that Lestrange Manor which Bellatrix had briefly lived in would also be hers. From what Hermione could gather (and what she had seen for herself) this meant that Bellatrix was extremely well-off; even more so than before if she decided to sell the Lestrange property. Hermione considered this could only be a good thing; it was more than likely that Bellatrix would struggle to find a job, and she needed money to live on until people truly believed that she was safe to be around.

"Do we have to do that today?" Hermione said. She realised she sounded ridiculous and was drawing attention to the fact that there was something wrong, but she was thinking on the spot and had no idea what to say to deter Bellatrix.

"What else have we got to do?" Bellatrix said, raising an eyebrow. "Is it because you don't want to be seen with me in public?" She actually looked slightly hurt at the prospect of this, something Hermione wouldn't have thought possible.

"No, of course not!" Hermione exclaimed vehemently. An idea forming in her head, she slinked towards Bellatrix. "I just wanted to spend some time with you." Joining her mouth with Bellatrix's, she snuck a hand around her lover, drawing them closer together.

"Hmm, wait," Bellatrix said, and she pulled backwards. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, and her eyes hazy, but she seemed determined to speak. "I can't, little babe, I really do have things I need to do. If you don't want to come then fine, just wait here for me."

Hermione sighed. There was no way that she could allow Bellatrix to go out on her own, especially not considering the article. Facing everyone should be something that they did together, because as much as Bellatrix would claim she didn't need the support, Hermione knew she was wrong. If she was there to help curb Bellatrix's anger towards anyone who decided to throw insults at them, it would be much better for both of them. The last thing she needed was for Bellatrix to be seen cursing some idiot reporter who may be watching out for them, and then slated even further.

Unfortunately, it also meant that she would have to warn her right now about the story. "Bella... there's something I need to tell you," she said reluctantly. "Don't be mad, ok?"

Bellatrix watched Hermione, her brown eyes wary. "What is it? Is this related to Weasley? Because I'm not stupid; I know he wants you for himself. Just because I've let it go for the moment, it doesn't mean he has any right to..."

"Bella!" Hermione exclaimed, interrupting her rant. "This isn't anything to do with Ron."

"Tell me the truth," Bellatrix commanded. Her eyes had darkened, and she had become furious within barely a second as the jealousy overcame her. It was like the monster within her had unleashed. "Has he written you a letter propositioning you? Give it to me." Reaching forward, she tried to grab from the table the letter that Hermione had received from Harry.

Stepping forward, Hermione blocked her way and took hold of Bellatrix's arms. "No, wait. I need to tell you something important, and it has nothing to do with Ron."

Sensing danger, Hermione made sure all of her thoughts regarding Ron were blocked off, especially the kiss they had shared. The last thing she wanted was for Bellatrix to see into her head and realise what had taken place between them, because it had been nothing as far as Hermione was concerned. She had been confused in the heat of the moment, and even inside her own head that sounded ridiculous to say. It had been the circumstances, the need to be certain of her decision to be with Bellatrix, no matter how crazy that sounded. But Bellatrix couldn't know because she wouldn't understand; all she would see was Hermione kissing someone else, even if in Hermione's own mind she had felt nothing but platonic feelings of friendship within the kiss.

"If it has nothing to do with him then allow me to see the letter," Bellatrix snapped.

"No," Hermione said. "In a minute, but not yet. That letter is from Harry, and it refers to what I need to explain to you."

"I'm not interested in what you have to say!" Bellatrix shrieked, and she wrenched away from Hermione. "I know you're hiding something from me!"

"Yes," Hermione said, exasperated now. "And if you shut up for just a second, I could explain it to you!"

Instantaneously, she realised she had said the wrong thing as she felt a sharp sting surge through her cheek, and slightly dizzy, she stumbled back against the dining table. It took her a few seconds until her eyes focused again, and another ten seconds or so more to realise that Bellatrix had just slapped her across the face. Raising a hand to her left cheek, she felt the blood trickle between her fingers from the fresh wound. Apparently, one of Bellatrix's heavy rings had somehow caught her face at the wrong angle, leaving behind more damage than a slap normally would have caused.

Speechless, Hermione walked around Bellatrix, bidding herself not to cry. She didn't bother to draw her wand for the older witch had not drawn hers, and was instead watching her through clouded eyes, breathing heavily. She didn't seem as though she were in a full-on rage, but still, Hermione chose to leave behind the newspaper and letter from Harry. After Bellatrix looked then she could be the one to approach Hermione; she had been stupid to think she could have controlled Bellatrix's rage even if she had been the one to tell her. If Bellatrix chose to go out and curse half the wizarding world then it was her choice; Hermione wasn't sure if she could do this anymore. She had thought they were past the physical abuse, but that didn't seem to be the case.

"Wait," Bellatrix said, as Hermione reached the door to leave the dining room.

The one word Bellatrix uttered provided motivation for Hermione, and the second she was out of Bellatrix's sight, she began to run down the long hallway, spinning around and speeding up the stairs two at a time. All she wanted was to be on her own; she didn't want to hear whatever half-hearted, insane explanation Bellatrix had for her, she only wanted to be by herself.

She decided to seal herself in the bedroom where Bellatrix would be unable to get at her so that she could calm down and decide what to do. It was so tiring to have to deal with Bellatrix's constant mood swings! Their relationship was like no other Hermione had ever been in, and it was stressful having to constantly remain on the very edge, just waiting for Bellatrix to kick her off time and time again. The argument today didn't need to happen; the reason Hermione had imagined there would be a fight hadn't even been brought up, all because of Bellatrix's manic behaviour. It scared Hermione to think that one day she might inadvertently go too far; there may come a time when she used the Cruciatus Curse again, or maybe even accidentally killed Hermione if she was enraged enough and did it without thinking about the consequences.

In the locked, protected master bedroom, Hermione threw herself underneath the covers, sobbing hysterically. She made sure that she remained on her own side, not wanting the additional trauma of having to smell the scent of the perfume that Bellatrix had begun wearing, for it lingered on her pillow. Wrapped in a ball, Hermione hugged her legs, ignoring the throbbing in her cheek and trying to stop herself from crying quite so hard. She used her wand to cast a silencing spell on the room so that Bellatrix wouldn't be able to hear anything, but she didn't want to take any chances in case Bellatrix knew a way around it, what with it being a home she had lived in on and off since her childhood.

Suddenly, there was a crack, and Hermione flinched under the sheets. Throwing the covers back, she sat up to see Bellatrix and Lemmy stood before her. The house-elf looked a little frightened, but otherwise uninjured, and Bellatrix no longer looked angry; she simply looked uncomfortable. Nevertheless, Hermione clutched her wand tighter. _Elf-Apparition_, she remembered, forgetting that the wards she had put up would not prevent that._ I forgot that was still possible._

"Leave us, Lemmy," Bellatrix commanded sharply.

Lemmy said in a high-pitched voice, followed by a terrified squeak, "Yes, Mistress Bellatrix!" and left with another loud crack.

"I want to be on my own," Hermione sniffed.

Slowly, Bellatrix approached her. She sat beside Hermione on the bed, but not wanting to be anywhere near Bellatrix right now, Hermione shifted backwards. This movement didn't go unnoticed by Bellatrix, and she stared at Hermione, an unidentifiable look in her eyes. They were a lighter brown now, just calmer and more controlled orbs that didn't scare Hermione. Letting her gaze drop to Bellatrix's hands, Hermione realised that she held Harry's letter and the Daily Prophet, probably having read them.

"I read the article," Bellatrix said, confirming Hermione's beliefs. "And the letter."

"You hit me," Hermione said tearfully, not giving a damn about the stupid article. The last thing she was worried about at the moment was the public knowledge of her relationship with Bellatrix, because the way she was feeling at the moment, she wasn't even sure if she _wanted_ there to be a relationship.

"Well, I know," Bellatrix said uneasily. "I may have overreacted, somewhat."

"You _may have overreacted_?" Hermione said incredulously, repeating Bellatrix's words. "What the fuck is _wrong_ with you?"

Bellatrix seemed to sense that Hermione was far more distressed than she had previously thought, because she attempted to reach out a hand to her. "Hermione..."

"No!" Hermione yelled. "You can't keep... keep hurting me like this. I have feelings, Bella, and I can't take much more." She unsuccessfully tried to choke back another sob.

"Please don't do this again," Bellatrix requested, her voice quivering very so slightly. "Shout at me if you must, or hit me back and give me a taste of my own potion, but I can't handle your tears."

"They're because of you," Hermione spat bitterly. "I cry because of the way you treat me. And whilst I would dearly wish to hit you; I won't. I refuse to stoop to your level."

Bellatrix bowed her head. She didn't appear to have anything to say in reply, or if she did, she didn't have the courage to say it aloud. Her behaviour infuriated Hermione because if anything, she should be the one who didn't dare to look Bellatrix in the eye after what she had done. Instead, Bellatix managed to portray herself as the vulnerable one and turn it around so that Hermione was the one who had to be in the wrong. _Not fair. Not fair at all._

"Why did you hit me?" Hermione asked, trying to swallow away the lump in her throat. "You didn't even give me a chance to explain."

"I didn't mean to do it," Bellatrix said, sounding miserable. "I just... I get so angry, and I can't control it. I see red and it doesn't matter what you say, I just want to make you suffer. I know it's... well it's not considered normal, is it? I remember when I used to fly off the handle at Rodolphus and Cissy told me it wasn't natural, but I can't help it. I don't like seeing you like this; the second I've done it I wish I could take it back."

"You can't though," Hermione said, sounding pained. "I thought I could handle this but I _can't_. I'm scared of what you're capable of, Bella. I didn't used to be, but now that things are more normal, the challenges I face each day are different. I'm supposed to feel safe with you, but I'm frightened in a way that I never used to be by what you might do, intentionally or otherwise.

"You don't need to be," Bellatrix said instantly. "I... I can stop myself in the end. I would never really hurt you like I did before."

She grasped Hermione's hands tightly, not allowing her to pull away. The upset, overwrought feelings inside Hermione made her want Bellatrix to get off her and to leave her alone, but the love and pity she also felt for the older witch battled against this, meaning that ultimately Hermione just felt confused. By telling Bellatrix things were ok between them would only result in her not learning her lesson, because there would be no consequences to her behaviour. The only chance of Bellatrix changing would be if she thought she would lose Hermione, but threatening her and only giving her one more chance wasn't going to do it; that wasn't how Bellatrix was programmed. In short, there was no straightforward solution. _She loves me, she loves me not._

Coming to a decision, Hermione composed herself a little. "I want you to do two things for me. If you don't, then I can't stay forever, even considering _Semper Amor_. This isn't an ultimatum, but I need you to understand how serious this is."

"Go on," Bellatrix said warily.

"I want an apology. A genuine apology," Hermione said shakily. "And... I want you to talk about the violence when you see the Soul Healer, so that you can figure out ways to deal with it. If you don't... well you say you can stop yourself in the end, but what if you don't? What if you kill me?"

Bellatrix was silent, and Hermione allowed her the time she needed to process what she had just heard. She wasn't the sort of person who could just easily accept being asked to do something and then do it without question; the older witch was used to getting her own way, or when she was in Azkaban, being constantly locked in a depressive state that only tortured her emotionally. Most of all, Bellatrix was a damaged individual, and Hermione had to make certain allowances for that. It was the exact reason why she was giving her a chance, knowing that she wasn't fully responsible for her behaviour after the way she had been brought up. That may not be an excuse, but Hermione felt compassion for her, as she surmised that so much had happened to Bellatrix that she didn't know about. It was obvious every time Bellatrix was honest with her and there wasn't a crazed mask shielding the raven haired witch.

"I'm sorry," Bellatrix eventually said staring straight into Hermione's eyes. Then, taking out her wand, Bellatrix raised it towards Hermione's face. Not immediately understanding Bellatrix's intentions, Hermione flinched, before she realised that Bellatrix was going to heal her. Closing her eyes, she waited for the wand to trace her injury but instead, she felt soft lips placed upon her cheek, and a gentle kiss against the wounded skin, causing it to tingle. It hurt, but at the same time, she determined that this was how Bellatrix was showing that she truly meant her apology. Seconds later, Bellatrix whispered, "_Episkey_" and the cut was healed.

"Thank you," Hermione said, opening her eyes and feeling calmer now. "Will you do as I asked with the Soul Healer?"

Bellatrix nodded. "Yes."

Hermione managed a small smile. "Good."

"Are you still mad?" Bellatrix asked, sounding childlike.

Deliberating her answer, Hermione thought for a moment. She wasn't really angry, but she still wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with Bellatrix. It wasn't as though by apologising she could magically change what she had done; life didn't work like that. However, Bellatrix didn't need to know her exact thoughts right now, because Hermione guessed that it may only do more damage than good. Therefore, she chose her words carefully. "I'm not mad, no, but I would like to be on my own for a while before we go to Diagon Alley."

"You're going to come?" Bellatrix said hopefully.

"Yes," Hermione told her. "But in an hour or so."

Bellatrix nodded confirmation that she had understood, but she still looked hurt and as though Hermione had rejected her. As crazy as it was after the way she had been treated, Hermione couldn't help feeling sorry for her and wishing that she would just be happy. Yes, it was Bellatrix's fault, but at the same time, she really was trying. Her actions after she had done wrong proved that; there was a time when the older witch wouldn't even have been able to accept that she had made a big mistake, and would instead have tried to turn the blame onto Hermione. As it was, the vulnerability in her eyes made Hermione want to try and smooth things over, despite the pain she herself felt after being treated so awfully by Bellatrix.

"Are you ok after reading the article? I know it was horrible, but I thought you needed to see it before facing everyone for the first time. I was trying to figure out a way of telling you, but I guess I don't need to worry about that now though," Hermione said tentatively, making a deliberate decision not to mention the violence once again.

"It's a stupid article full of inaccuracies," Bellatrix said, and Hermione could tell that behind her controlled voice, she was seething. "My surname isn't Lestrange, it's Black. And I'm forty-seven years old, not forty-eight."

"Are you really?" Hermione asked, surprised, for she hadn't given much thought to Bellatrix's age. Upon first meeting her she had looked to be her true age, but now that she had improved her appearance and started to look after herself, she easily looked ten or fifteen years younger. Besides, Bellatrix was so immature sometimes that her age was hardly an issue; Hermione felt like the older one in the relationship if anything.

Bellatrix frowned. "Is this the point where you insult me? Tell me I look old and haggard?"

"No, you're beautiful," Hermione said honestly. In an attempt at lightening the mood, she teased, "It's just unfortunate that you're not entirely sane."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "Very funny."

Hermione smiled before adopting a serious stance once more. There was only so far she was willing to go, after all; she didn't want Bellatrix to forget entirely that she had done wrong. The best way for Bellatrix to understand that she needed to think about her behaviour for the rest of the day was to spent a little time apart from her so that she realised every action had a consequence. In the short term, some time spent separated was all Hermione could think to do, even if only for an hour or so. Apprehensively, she asked, "Can I be alone for a bit before we go?"

Nodding, Bellatrix stood to leave. "Lemmy!" she called.

Immediately, Lemmy appeared. "You called, Mistress Bellatrix?" She looked afraid, but not quite to the same extent as she had earlier. Evidently she sensed the calm atmosphere in the room, as after she looked back and forth between the two witches, her face relaxed.

"Apparate us to the library," Bellatrix commanded.

"You could have just lifted the wards now you're in here," Hermione suggested.

Shaking her head, Bellatrix replied. "You wanted time alone, and this is the best way for you to have it. When you're ready, come and find me."


	27. Chapter 27

Thank you as always for all the reviews my lovelies. :)

**GothicPheonix-** Nope, no Fleur, Luna, Hooch or Pansy. As much as I'd love to I can't fit everyone in, but there are some other characters in the next few chapters, including this one. There are 30 chapters in all. :)

**deedeex912-** I don't know if it's possible to make an in-character innocent Bellatrix... do you mean a fic where it turns out she is completely innocent of everything?

**ICouldBeSuper-** Thank you for all the reviews, and no need to apologise! Re why Bellatrix didn't admit she cared for Lemmy, well it's because part of her sees caring for someone "lower" than her, like a house-elf, to be shameful and weak. And it's not horrible for you to say that about your sister, I see the point you are trying to make.

**Mystic KiBender-** Thank you very much for your lovely review. :) I haven't actually planned a pairing for Ron, I'll be honest! How about Filch or the Fat Lady? :P Haha, jokes. Um, I'll have a think about it should I do a sequel. :)

**SomeNoMai-** Nope, this will stop at 30! :P I thought that would be a good number as this is already very long! Of course, a sequel isn't ruled out so this may not be the real end anyhow. Thank you for the review. :)

**Tempestt Londyn-** I love the song Unpretty... I think the lyrics are so true. Cheers for the review. :)

* * *

_I'm free to say whatever I_

_Whatever I like_

_If it's wrong or right it's alright_

_Oasis, Whatever_

* * *

_**27.**_

After a short nap and taking some time to write a reply to Harry's letter, Hermione was refreshed enough to go to Diagon Alley. She approached Bellatrix with a tentative smile, and was relieved when Bellatrix didn't mention the argument between them or the article either, instead announcing straight away that they should Floo to Diagon Alley. Surprisingly, it seemed that the older witch had taken the article fairly well in the grand scheme of things; apparently the fight they had gotten into had reminded her of where her priorities should lie. It was still likely that Bellatrix would be extremely angry if confronted by another witch or wizard, but with some luck she would be able to stop herself from doing physical harm to people if Hermione was there to keep her calm. Of course, there was always the possibility that then she would turn on Hermione, but after what had already happened between them that very day, Hermione doubted it very much.

The visit to Gringotts proceeded fairly smoothly, and if the goblins remembered Hermione posing as Bellatrix and breaking into their beloved bank, they didn't try to apprehend her or comment on the fact that she was accompanied by the real Bellatrix. Hermione supposed that the Ministry must have stepped in and told them that it was unnecessary, because despite every illegal act she had committed over the past year along with Harry and Ron, she hadn't been questioned about anything. Being one third of the trip responsible for the demise of Voldemort had its' benefits, no doubt, although Hermione also imagined that it was due to the fact that as Minister for Magic, Kingsley was fair and just. After all, hadn't Bellatrix's freedom happened because of his own proposal to the Ministry?

Unfortunately, their luck didn't last long, for the second they stepped out of Gringotts and into the street, Hermione came face to face with Hagrid. She'd barely seen him this past year, and had only caught fleeting glances of him during the Battle of Hogwarts, but he still looked the same as always. Despite the look of thunder on his face as he caught sight of Bellatrix, Hermione happily greeted him, hoping to keep things as friendly as possible. "Hagrid! It's so good to see you."

Hermione wasn't stupid; it was obvious that Hagrid realised that she was in a relationship with Bellatrix. After the Daily Prophet had printed a story stating they were together, there was no way they could hide it from _anyone _unless they were a complete recluse! Her best hope was that people would still see her as the Hermione they knew; if she had changed at all then it was because of the war and her experiences, not because Bellatrix had asked her to. All she could do was to act as normally as possible and hope for the best. With a bit of luck, Hagrid wouldn't even comment on it. _Yeah, right._

"You too, Hermione," Hagrid said gruffly, and though he was a little standoffish, he didn't appear to be angry with her. "Wish the same could be said fer you, Lestrange."

"Call me Black," Bellatrix snapped, correcting him. "Or Bellatrix. Or anything except Lestrange."

"I'll call yeh whatever I ruddy well feel like!" Hagrid exclaimed.

"Or Madam Black," Bellatrix suggested, ignoring Hagrid. She gestured towards Hermione, smirking. "And then she can be Madam Black's bitch. What do you think, hmm?"

_Wrong move_, Hermione thought, as Hagrid exploded. He looked fierce as he roared, "I don't know what yer playin' at, but if yeh dare do anything to Hermione I'll kill yeh meself! She's just a girl!"

Hermione got the impression that Hagrid thought she was being forced into a relationship with Bellatrix against her will. The main reason she suspected this was because he appeared to bear no animosity towards her and instead threw all of his fury at Bellatrix. She supposed that from an outsider's perspective it was a reasonable assumption to make, not least because of her age. Although she was an adult in both the wizarding world and the Muggle world, people would still judge the age gap between herself and Bellatrix. Hermione understood entirely, because had it been Ron or Harry in love with Bellatrix instead of herself, she probably would have been horrified beyond belief.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, looking bored. "You'll have to join the queue... there are already several people who are in line before you."

"Bellatrix," Hermione said in a low voice, warningly. She really didn't want to be the centre of a huge drama in the middle of Diagon Alley if an all-out argument started between Bellatrix and Hagrid. Turning her attention back to Hagrid, she said, "Are you doing anything nice before term starts again?"

"Spending time with Olympe," Hagrid replied, his eyes still fixed on Bellatrix, and his giant hands clenching at his sides in an obvious attempt to keep calm. "Are yeh coming back to Hogwarts then?"

Hermione nodded, ignored the surprised look from Bellatrix. Thankfully, the older witch kept her mouth shut, evidently realising that now wasn't the time or the place to call her on it.

"Glad to hear it," Hagrid said, beaming at her. "Yer welcome to pop over 'fore term starts... though I'll be busy makin' a lot o' repairs after the state the Death Eaters left it in. Least it didn't get burnt 'gen I s'pose." He shot Bellatrix a nasty look as he said this, referring to the night of Dumbledore's death when she had set fire to his hut whilst his dog, Fang, was still inside.

However, Bellatrix appeared to be entirely unfazed by Hagrid's words. Grinning, she said, "Ah, that's all water under the bridge now, Hagrid!"

"No it ruddy well isn't!" Hagrid said indignantly, his round face turning from a shade of red to purple fury. "Yeh nearly killed Fang, yeh evil woman!"

Considering this accusation, Bellatrix gave what she evidently imagined to be a justified and kind response, as she said casually, "Well, he didn't actually die, did he? So that's all alright."

"Bellatrix!" Hermione said, horrified.

Shrugging, Bellatrix cast another look towards Hermione. "It's the truth."

"We'd better go, Hagrid," Hermione said nervously, because Hagrid was clutching the pink umbrella containing pieces of his snapped wand in his hand angrily, looking as though he was about to attack. Judging by the way he was shaking and his lack of speech, he was more enraged than he had been at the start of their conversation. "I'll see you soon."

Grabbing onto Bellatrix, Hermione pulled her away before Hagrid could form a reply. She kept her mouth shut as she didn't want to provoke Bellatrix's wrath in public, not knowing if any reporters were lurking around or secretly following them. Eventually, the drama would die down, but for the moment it was something she would have to be prepared for just in case. Now that Diagon Alley was safe once again, it was far more packed, and so many people stared at herself and Bellatrix, hardly able to believe their eyes judging by the fear and horror displayed on their faces.

"I don't know what they're staring at," Bellatrix said, irritated. "I'm sure they're doing it just to try and force me into cursing them."

"Well don't give them the satisfaction then," Hermione said matter-of-factly._ Keep her calm, keep her calm..._

"Easy for you to say," Bellatrix muttered. "Come, I want to finish shopping and leave immediately."

"What broomstick are you getting?" Hermione asked. She didn't care, but she was trying to distract Bellatrix from the staring, not wanting to see her lover unleash her fury. An attempt at light-hearted conversation was all she could think to do considering that they were surrounded by too many people for other more effective means of keeping Bellatrix in a good mood. Hermione would have tried whispering flirtatious promises of what was to come later for Bellatrix if she behaved herself, but she had visions of Bellatrix attempting to act them out in public. Whilst Hermione acknowledged that it was possible for Bellatrix to be too much of a proud pure-blood to show affection for a Muggle-born in public, it was still a risk that she wasn't willing to take. The last thing she needed was for a photograph of Bellatrix attempting to tongue her to end up on the front of the Daily Prophet.

"The latest Firebolt model," Bellatrix replied, still throwing filthy looks at anyone who dared to look at her in the wrong way, whether through fear or disgust.

"Isn't that expensive?" Hermione commented. She struggled to see why Bellatrix would need a broom of such a high quality when she didn't even like to play Quidditch.

Bellatrix shrugged. "I can afford it, and it's what I want."

Assuming that it was just another of Bellatrix's peculiar decisions, Hermione didn't attempt to question her again. Instead, she allowed Bellatrix to lead the way to Quality Quidditch Supplies, following quickly as she wanted to get home as soon as possible. She agreed with Bellatrix in that she didn't want to spend long in Diagon Alley, knowing that the more time they were in public, the more chance there was of someone else confronting them. The day hadn't exactly been great for Hermione ever since she had opened that bloody letter from Harry, and so she had no desire to face the wrath of other wizards and witches who would make the day even worse.

Bellatrix didn't bother to look around; she merely sauntered up to the counter and requested the latest Firebolt. Bored, Hermione began looking at all the Quidditch related books in the store in an attempt to keep herself amused. Flying was something she really didn't enjoy, and although she wasn't the appalling flyer that she was during her first year at Hogwarts, she wasn't anywhere near good either. It didn't appeal to her in the slightest, and so whenever Ron and Harry were raving about how amazing flying was, Hermione usually switched off and read a book instead. The boys thought she was mad for choosing books over flying and Quidditch, but being a bookworm was something she did perfectly well, thank you very much.

Mercifully, Bellatrix didn't face any awkwardness from the small, blonde girl who served her, as judging by the look on her face, she was far too terrified to say anything at all. Attempting to reassure her, Hermione smiled at her when Bellatrix wasn't looking, if only to make her feel a little better. Hermione fully understood why people reacted the way they did towards Bellatrix considering her reputation, and the newspaper article certainly hadn't helped. The Daily Prophet article had done some good by claiming that Bellatrix was now considered innocent of the crimes she had long been accused of, but not everyone was suddenly going to believe it after so many years had passed.

The next stop was Eeylop's Owl Emporium so that Bellatrix could buy herself an owl. After much consideration, she eventually settled on a large, black-as-the-night-sky owl with a curved, sharp beak. Her eyes were a bright amber, mesmerising in an inexplicable way, which because obvious the moment Hermione made eye contact with her. There was no doubt that she was a beautiful owl, standing proudly on her perch, and looking calmly at Bellatrix and Hermione.

"I want that one," Bellatrix announced to the young boy behind the counter, as Hermione gathered everything she needed to care for Crookshanks once she had picked him up from the Weasleys, like blankets, toys and treats. "And whatever supplies are necessary to look after her."

Averting his eyes, the young boy set about preparing the owl, not daring to look Bellatrix's way. He didn't even ask whether she had owned an owl before, if she knew how to look after them, or make any attempt to try and engage in friendly conversation with her. Amazingly, he seemed even more frightened than the girl from Quality Quidditch Supplies had been, judging by his shaking hand.

Taking pity on him and seeing an opportunity to do something nice for Bellatrix at the same time, Hermione placed her own shopping on the counter, and whispered to Bellatrix out of the shop assistant's earshot, "Why don't you take her outside, and I'll pay?"

Bellatrix opened her mouth to protest, "But..."

"Go," Hermione said firmly, praying that Bellatrix didn't take this the wrong way. "I want to buy her for you. Why don't you take her outside and try to think of a name whilst I finish here?" It wasn't as if she couldn't afford it, after all. Her own vault at Gringotts was pretty full considering how little money she had spent over the past year, and the prior generosity of her parents.

Speechless, Bellatrix left, staring at Hermione in wonderment and barely paying any attention to the owl in the cage that she held. It was obvious to Hermione that she didn't know how to say thank you for a gift, so unfamiliar was she with being given anything.

"How much is that?" Hermione asked, smiling at the boy behind the counter.

For several seconds he stared at her, his blue eyes fixated on her own. His expression looked calmer than before, though his hand still shook, Hermione noted, as he ran a hand through the blonde curls on his head. "How can you bear to be anywhere near her?" he asked, ignoring Hermione's question.

"I... what?" Hermione replied frowning.

"Bellatrix Lestrange," He spat. "She's tortured countless Muggles and Muggle-borns. What makes you think she's changed?"

"I'm a Muggle-born, and she doesn't torture me," Hermione justified in a quiet voice, choosing to ignore the memories of when Bellatrix had done exactly that to her. "I know she's done horrible things, but everyone deserves a second chance."

"I think you're insane for trusting her!" the boy exclaimed. "You should be sticking by the rest of us Muggle-borns, not siding with a maniac."

Realising that trying to convince him would be futile, Hermione said as politely as possible, "I would like to pay now."

After paying, she left the shop in a hurry, grateful that the blonde boy did not continue to verbally abuse Bellatrix to her, and instead completed the transaction in silence. Regardless of how upset she felt, she vowed not to tell Bellatrix of the exchange, knowing that she would be so angry she may even seek him out to confront him herself. In turn, that would only make people distrust her even more when they found out that she had argued with or perhaps even cursed a Muggle-born. Instead, Hermione tried to put it out of her mind, telling herself that as time went on, Bellatrix would be accepted once more. If she could control herself, show others she wasn't a threat and was remorseful for her actions (even if she wasn't) then people would stop staring and judging her every time they set eyes on her. Some would still be likely to talk behind closed doors , but as neither Bellatrix or herself would have to deal with that, it wasn't something Hermione wasn't overly concerned about.

Arriving back at Bellatrix's by Floo, Hermione walked down the hallway with Bellatrix after leaving the library. Technically they could have used the Floo Network to travel directly to the sitting room, as Bellatrix had informed her that the fireplace in the sitting room was also connected to the network. However, she had also added that for inexplicable reasons her parents had always preferred to use the fireplace in the library, and Bellatrix had always done the same, not finding it to be a problem. The only time the sitting room fireplace was used was if a stranger or acquaintance requested a visit, and were not permitted to enter through the upstairs library_. Another odd Black family rule._

On the way to the sitting room after dropping off the owl in one of the upstairs tower rooms, Hermione glanced at the familiar portraits which were still unmoving. Curiosity peaked once more, and she took the opportunity to ask Bellatrix about them whilst she remembered. "Why don't any of the portraits move?"

Bellatrix made a face. "I took down the portraits of my mother, father, and various other ancestors after they overheard our discussion in the hallway a few months ago after you came back to visit."

"Why?" Hermione asked, though she already had an inkling as to the reasoning for this.

"Well as you can imagine, they objected to our relationship. I got fed up of them yelling abuse at me every time I went past them," Bellatrix said, sounding thoroughly irritated.

Worried that Bellatrix was going to take out her frustration on her, Hermione kept quiet. She could only imagine the sort of things that Bellatrix's parents had yelled; she remembered all too well the offensive names that Sirius's mother had screeched every opportunity she got. At least Bellatrix had been able to remove her parents' portraits from the wall; evidently they had trusted their daughters and had felt there was no need for a Permanent Sticking Charm.

There was much about the house that Hermione disliked, mainly the dark objects and lack of bright, vivid colours. Although it was nowhere near as dark as Malfoy Manor, there was still something cold about the house that Hermione wanted to change. Over time she was certain that she would be able to ask Bellatrix to move a few things around and change the wallpaper or floors, but there was absolutely no way after such a short space of time living with her unofficially that she could do such a thing. Besides, it wasn't her place to say anything, and she supposed there were more important things to be worrying about.

"You know, I should probably blast myself off the tapestry at Grimmauld Place... it's the first thing my Aunt Walburga would have done," Bellatrix said as she entered the sitting room, Hermione trailing behind her. "I certainly wouldn't be considered a member of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black in her eyes any longer."

Still, Hermione didn't say anything. She got the impression that although Bellatrix was entitled to talk about her family in a derogatory way, there was little chance of herself being afforded the same privilege. There was no real reason for her to think that, but it was a risk she wasn't prepared to take. Instead, she took a seat next to the older witch, leaning back and resting her head, waiting for Bellatrix to begin talking about something else.

However, it appeared Bellatrix was aware that Hermione was less vocal than usual, for she asked her, "What is the matter?"

"Nothing," Hermione denied, smiling awkwardly.

"You're being unusually quiet," Bellatrix observed. "Have I done something else to upset you?"

Hermione shook her head.

"Is it because I didn't say thank you for the owl? Because I am happy you bought me it, I was just so surprised I didn't think to thank you at the time," Bellatrix said, giving an unneeded explanation after completely misinterpreting Hermione's silence.

"It's nothing to do with you not thanking me for the owl; I didn't expect you to," Hermione answered truthfully. As it appeared that Bellatrix had no intention of letting the subject go, Hermione decided to do what she did best and be tactfully honest. "I don't want to comment on your family, because I know that if I say anything inappropriate you're going to be angry with me."

"I don't see what your problem is with my family," Bellatrix said, surprisingly calm.

Despite Bellatrix's rational response, Hermione still sensed the potential for this to turn into another fight, and so she racked her brains for a way to diffuse the situation before it ever really got started. It was extremely unlikely that Bellatrix would inflict violence upon her so soon after what she had promised today, but the problem with people like Bellatrix was that there was always a small possibility. For Bellatrix it was a case of _"Oops, sorry dearie, didn't mean that!"_ as more often than not she just couldn't comprehend the consequences of her violent behaviour. Nevertheless, if Hermione continued to be unresponsive then Bellatrix would only keep pushing until her temper flared anyway, and so it was tough to know what to do for the best.

"There is no problem," Hermione clarified. "I didn't know them, but what I do know is what they believed in, and what they taught you, Narcissa and Andromeda to believe."

There. That was as much as she was going to reveal. She had put it in such a way so as to express subtle concern for the views that had been thrust upon Bellatrix ever since she was a little girl, knowing enough from off-hand remarks Bellatrix had made, and information from Sirius to comprehend the type of family the Blacks had been. Their hatred of Muggle-borns had contributed to the sort of witches and wizards that Voldemort had preyed on; those who were proud, arrogant and full of their own self-importance. In short, individuals like Bellatrix, who had been so brainwashed that they didn't stand a chance. Somehow, Andromeda and Sirius had managed to escape it, but Hermione couldn't help considering that it was a combination of rebellion and personality traits that had allowed them to do this. Judging by Bellatrix's obsessive need for control, power, but also respect, it was impossible for her to be anything except what she had been moulded into. Of course, her childhood couldn't be entirely blamed for some of the fault was her own, but that didn't make her unworthy of a chance to change.

Bellatrix leant towards her, raven curls falling around her face. "Finding fault with my upbringing would be easy, but I won't. You need to understand that serving the Dark Lord was _exhilarating_. It made me feel like my life had meaning; I wasn't just another house-witch, but a _Death Eater_. I had a purpose. I changed things!"

"You also hurt innocent people," Hermione reminded her. "Don't you see, Bellatrix? If you had done what Andromeda had the courage to do and walked away from your family, you could have had everything by now; love, a career, friends and _respect._ Not from pure-bloods, but from every person that you could have helped in whatever way you chose to do so."

"That's what _you_ don't see," Bellatrix said adamantly. "I believed in the cause. Even now, despite our connection... I still struggle. Were _Semper Amor_ not involved then I never would have acted upon my feelings; it was utter selfishness that led me to betray the Dark Lord."

Hermione wasn't quite sure how they had gone from talking about portraits to discussing Bellatrix's life and feelings for her. It hurt Hermione to know that Bellatrix would never have been able to openly love her without the ancient love between them. She appreciated Bellatrix's honesty, but that didn't make it any easier to hear her confession. Although Hermione possessed enough common sense to allow her to grasp the impact that Semper Amor had on her situation, she had always hoped that Bellatrix would have loved her anyway. It was a silly, ridiculous notion, but all Hermione had wanted since she accepted her feelings for Bellatrix was for the older witch to willingly love her back. Overwhelmed with the realisation that this wasn't the case, she couldn't stand to be around Bellatrix right now. _Get. Me. Out. Of. Here._

"I appreciate your honesty," Hermione said, her voice sounding strangely high-pitched, even to her own ears. "I'm uh... not feeling too well. I'm going to lie down again."

"Hermione," Bellatrix began. "It's not that I don't want-"

"Don't," Hermione interrupted. "Please, Bella. I just need to lie down."

She left quickly before Bellatrix could try and engage her in conversation once more. Maybe it had been immature of her to walk away from a difficult conversation, but she was upset, and also a little worried. There was no guarantee that should Bellatrix build a life for herself that she would stick around to be with Hermione. If she so wished, she could use Hermione to improve her reputation (a fanatical pure-blooded Death Eater in a relationship with a female Muggle-born would do wonders in the long run) and then leave, deciding to tolerate the consequences of Semper Amor.

If Hermione had been a stronger person then she would have walked away before the going got tough, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to survive without Bellatrix. There would never be another who she felt the same way about and who drew the same reactions from her as Bellatrix did. It was so sodding unfair, because she had always wanted the fairytale wedding and a couple of children, alongside some sort of career where she was able to help people. Instead she had been granted Bellatrix, a completely insane supporter of the Dark Arts and Mudblood hater. That alone was undeserved, but the added inability to ever love anyone else in the way she loved Bellatrix just topped it off. _Brilliant._

The despair that Hermione currently felt meant that more than ever she really missed her friends. She wanted Tonks, Lupin, Fred, and Dobby back. Sirius too. So many had suffered and died for everything Bellatrix believed in, took pleasure in, and it was only really hitting her this very moment. Until now she hadn't really grieved for anyone, hiding away her feelings during every funeral she'd attended because that was what was easier. Living with Bellatrix had meant she couldn't even come home to grieve, and then she hadn't really been able to disappear elsewhere because there was nowhere else to go. Her parent's home was empty and lonely, and it was debateable whether any of her friends would accept her into their home. Besides, it had been an unspoken agreement that she would remain with Bellatrix, the terms of Semper Amor dictating that they should be together whenever possible.

Shutting herself away in the bedroom for the second time that day, Hermione snuggled beneath the sheets to sob quietly.

This time, Bellatrix didn't come for her.

* * *

_**January 1959**_

_Bellatrix was extremely bored. Her younger sisters were absolutely no fun to play with at all! Narcissa just followed her constantly whining, and Andromeda was more interested in playing with her Wizadoll than she was at actually playing games with Bellatrix, even if she was her cool older sister. Therefore, Bellatrix decided that she was going to on a mission to explore the vast rooms of the house whilst her parents were up in the library, and she wandered into the dining room, immediately setting eyes on the candles that lay on the mahogany table._

_She ran over to them, wondering if she could set them alight the way that Andromeda had done when she'd become angry whilst they'd all been sat at the table eating dinner. Bellatrix had pulled her hair, and when Andromeda stuck her tongue out in retaliation, she'd been caught by their father who had been most displeased. Her younger sister had been so furious that she had caused the candles to roar to life without meaning to, and had ended up being punished and sent to bed early for being so naughty._

_Moving the candles over towards the end of the table, Bellatrix stared at them, willing them to set on fire. Nothing. She tried poking them with her hand. Nothing. Eventually, she was so frustrated that she swung around, spinning in a circle, chanting under her breath "Fire fire fire fire fire" for she didn't know the spell to make them alight, and besides, she didn't yet have a wand. All she had to rely on was her uncontrollable magic, and that really was the crux of the matter. This wasn't something she could control._

_Unfortunately, so intent was she on spinning around that she failed to notice herself getting closer to the candles, meaning that the first she was aware of them having fallen was when she heard the resultant crash. Stopping herself, she looked down in horror, dismayed to see that one of the sticks had broken clean in half. What was she supposed to do now? If she was quick enough then she could always summon Lazar, the house-elf, and leave him to deal with it._

"_Bellatrix, what are you doing?"_

_Too late._

_Hearing her father's harsh voice, Bellatrix automatically took a step backwards, biting her lip nervously. "Nothing."_

"_Nothing?" Cygnus said, sounding angrier by the minute. "What have you done to the candles?"_

"_It was an accident," Bellatrix said, trying her best to sound sorry. "I didn't mean to."_

_Her protests did no good, and she felt her father grip onto her arm, and throw her up against the wall. She whimpered as her head cracked against the panelling, and she squeezed her eyes shut, seeing stars. Maybe if she kept them shut her father would go away, and she wouldn't have to look at his bulging eyes, the angry patches on his cheeks anymore. Maybe maybe maybe._

"_Stupid girl!" he snarled._

_Even when he smacked her across the face, she knew that she couldn't make a sound, because then he would be even more furious with her. No, if she just stayed quiet then he would tell her to clean up the mess without magic just like a filthy Muggle, and leave her to it. That would be ok then, wouldn't it? She wouldn't have to worry about any more repercussions. It had only been an accident, and hopefully she wouldn't be punished too badly. Not like the time she'd broken the heel of her mother's brand new red, dragon skin boots trying them on, and hadn't been able to do anything but shuffle in agony for a week after her father had sliced the bottoms of toes in retaliation._

"_Clean that up," he ordered over his shoulder as he left the room. "And ask Lazar to fetch us some new ones."_

_Bellatrix did as she was told, scooping the candles into her arms to give to Lazar to dispose of. On her way down to the kitchen, she could hardly believe her eyes when the candles ignited in her arms; even the broken one. Amazed, she stood still, watching the flames flicker and feeling the heat on her arms. She had done it._

_In that moment, Bellatrix came to the conclusion that to gain, there usually had to be pain as well._

* * *

"Hermione?"

Groggily, Hermione opened her eyes. She was vaguely aware of Bellatrix calling her, waking her from the deep sleep she had managed to fall into. Apparently, despite her upset she had still managed to rest without even being aware of herself falling into a slumber. It was amazing when you considered how little she had been doing every day; the most taxing thing she had done lately was to read complex books on the Dark Arts, intrigued by the sorts of material that Bellatrix had grown up surrounded by. Sometimes she missed the constant structure that her days had and the way that she could be in a routine, for she had no real responsibilities at present. Although she knew she should be enjoying herself after her life had almost been destroyed by Voldemort, it was hard when there was so much still hurting her._ My murdered loved ones. Ron. Mum and Dad. Need you all back._

"Are you awake?"

"Yes," Hermione said, blinking to get used to the light. It didn't seem too bright, however, which made her wonder what the time was. How long had she even been asleep? Glancing at her watch, she was horrified to see that it was seven o'clock in the evening. Hermione guessed that she had been upstairs for around four hours, probably sleeping for most of that time.

"Are you ready to talk now?" Bellatrix asked tentatively.

Hermione remained facing the opposite direction, not wanting to look at her lover. Every single time she faced Bellatrix's _dark dark_ eyes, it seemed so much worse when she heard hurtful words. Somehow, she felt like a lesser human being. "No," she whispered.

"You need to talk to me eventually," Bellatrix said reasonably. "We are currently living in the same house, after all."

Hermione swallowed, ignoring the lump in her throat. "Not for much longer... I'll be going back to Hogwarts soon."

There was a silence so unbearable that Hermione wondered what Bellatrix thought of this statement. She had brought up the topic of Hogwarts to Hagrid in front of Bellatrix earlier, but she supposed that Bellatrix had forgotten considering everything else going on, or had not even taken her seriously in the first place. From her own perspective, she wanted to finish her N.E.W.T.s so that she could say she had graduated Hogwarts, and to improve her career prospects. It was even more important to her as a Muggle-born to prove that she had achieved something and that she was just as capable of performing magic than any pure-blood, possibly even _more _talented.

When there was still no response from Bellatrix a couple of minutes later, and all she could hear was the sound of the raven haired witch breathing, Hermione finally turned to face her. Observing her lover, she could see that she was attempting to control her emotions, probably the rage and hatred for not having been consulted burning inside. Hermione allowed her eyes to fall down to Bellatrix's heaving chest, and she tensed, worried that she was about to erupt.

Finally noticing that she was being watched, Bellatrix roughly choked out, "You can't." Unexpectedly, there was panic written all over her face.

"Yes I can, Bellatrix," Hermione said, trying to keep her voice steady. "I want to do my exams and complete my education. Maybe you don't think I'm worthy of that, but it isn't your decision to make. I want to return to Hogwarts and I will. End of discussion."

"I don't want you to," Bellatrix said, sounding different. Her voice was strangely nasally, and she didn't sound vicious in the slightest. "I want you to remain here."

Hermione shook her head. "No."

"Please," Bellatrix said, almost sounding as though she was begging now.

Bewildered, Hermione stared, trying to work out what was going on. After further observation and considering the way Bellatrix had been talking to her, it really didn't seem as though she was angry. Was she upset? Hermione hadn't thought it possible for Bellatrix to feel such an emotion. There were no tears, but Bellatrix had balled her hands into a fist shape, and was biting down on her lower lip, as though she was in a battle with herself over whether to say something or not.

Despite the treatment she had received from Bellatrix, Hermione felt herself crumbling. She wasn't going to give in to Bellatrix's demand, but she wasn't going to just sit and watch her suffer like this either. It was evident that whereas most people would just express their emotions or go off on their own to deal with them, Bellatrix was incapable of doing that. The only real emotion she was able to show was anger, explaining why she often went off the handle for little to no reason at all. Hermione had to simultaneously be strong enough to deal with that and also to show her the sympathy and love she deserved.

"I won't change my mind, Bella. My education is very important for my future, and I need the best N.E.W.T results possible in order to enter the profession of my choice," Hermione explained, and she was overjoyed to discover that when she shuffled closer to Bellatrix and placed a hand on her arm that she wasn't pushed away.

"If you go back, we may as well be over," Bellatrix said, sounding morose, her bottom lip trembling.

Hermione frowned. "How do you work that one out?"

Bellatrix locked eyes with Hermione, her darker brown orbs lazering straight into Hermione's lighter brown eyes. "I will only see you during holidays, meaning that the time in between will be unbearable. As you reminded me earlier, I have no career, respect or companionship. No_ purpose _in life. What am I going to do?"

Sighing, Hermione leant forward, and gently placed a chaste kiss on Bellatrix's mouth. "You are going to write to me, speak to me through Floo Powder, meet me for Hogsmeade weekends. You're going to see your sisters, meet Teddy for the first time... you're going to be attending your Soul Healer appointments. You have more than enough to be doing, Bella. I promise; you'll be fine without me."

"I gave up the Dark Lord for you; why can't you do this one thing for me?" Bellatrix said, and Hermione realised that she had selfishly been keeping this to herself to play as a trump card, expecting it to be the one reason she provided that Hermione had no answer for. No doubt she imagined that she could manipulate her into doing what she wanted if she tried hard enough, thinking that she was the smarter witch and therefore able to convince Hermione to do whatever she wanted.

She was sorely mistaken, because Hermione already had an answer prepared for her.

"Because you tortured me, Bellatrix, and hurt a lot of people. I won't give up my education for you, and you shouldn't ask me to," Hermione told her.

"I'll go crazy without you here," Bellatrix declared desperately winding her thumb around her raven curls, pulling on them madly.

"You're already crazy," Hermione said, attempting a joke. It fell flat as Bellatrix just stared at her blankly, now looking even more upset. Trying to cheer her up, Hermione suggested, "We can sneak you in and then sometimes I can sneak back here. I'm not a fan of rule breaking but if it makes you happier...?"

This seemed to perk Bellatrix up a little. "Every week?"

Hermione smiled. "I think that might be too frequent. I'll have to see what my timetable says and then get back to you. It's only one year though, remember that. I'll be back here before you know it."

Bellatrix didn't response, staying quiet. It was obvious she still wasn't placated.

Clutching at straws, Hermione made another suggestion, "You can keep Crookshanks here too if you like."

"What?" Bellatrix said. "Who's Crookshanks?"

"He's my cat that the Weasleys have been looking after for me. I have to pick him up soon and... well he'll be company, won't he?" Hermione said brightly. "I'll miss him whilst I'm at Hogwarts but I'm used to not having him around considering that we've spent months apart. You can look after each other for me. I know you haven't met him yet, but you'll grow to love each other once you've spent time together, I promise."

Bellatrix looked as if she seriously doubted Hermione's offer, but made no attempt to protest. "I have no choice but to accept this, do I?" Bellatrix said. "Threatening you will just make you leave?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes."

"Is that why you've been up here alone for hours on end? Because I make you feel threatened?" Bellatrix asked awkwardly, giving Hermione the impression that it wasn't something she was particularly proud of.

"A little. But... I also wanted to be alone because it hurts that you don't love me the way I am and that if you had a choice, you wouldn't love me," Hermione said sadly. "Not to mention that I miss my friends, and I wish that people I cared about hadn't died. Everything just feels wrong."

Bellatrix watched her for a moment or so, before she gestured for Hermione to move closer. Obliging, Hermione did so, resting her head against Bellatrix's chest, as her lover propped herself up against the headboard. It was a rare moment of genuine affection on Bellatrix's part, and it made tingles run up and down her spine as Bellatrix started to play with her hair aimlessly.

"I do love you the way you are," Bellatrix confessed. "And it's not so much that I wouldn't love you if I had a choice. Not anymore. It's more that I feel as though I shouldn't be allowed to love you."

"But you still do regardless?" Hermione checked softly.

"Always," Bellatrix vowed. "As I've told you before... you're not like the other Muggle-borns. You're my little babe, and you'll be mine forever."

Hermione shut her eyes once more as Bellatrix wrapped an arm underneath her breasts, pulling their bodies together. As hard as it was, she forced herself to pretend that she believed Bellatrix's words were honest, and that her love was unconditional. _I love you too._


	28. Chapter 28

Thanks as always for the reviews my darlings. :)

**There is sexual content in this part. **

**OpheliaBlack-** This will be 30 chapters and no more, I'm afraid. I need to finish it at some point and the fic has already covered a huge timeline, so should I continue it, then it'll be within a sequel or some one shots.

**NeonXIII-** I want Bellatrix to cry too at some point. I've actually thought of a believable way, but I'm saving it for the sequel. ;)

**GothicPheonix-** Don't worry, nothing bad will happen to Crookshanks. I love cats and even in a fic I couldn't bear to have them hurt. Also, they're called Soul-Healers, not Soul-Eaters. Bellatrix does open up some more, but she's still Bellatrix, so it has to be done in a realistic manner.

**greeneleka-** I still love how you call her my Bellatrix... I so wish that was true! :P Thank you, that's exactly what I was going for. I like to surprise people and for each chapter to evoke more than one emotion. :)

**deedeex912-** I sort of see what you mean... I'll have to see if inspiration hits me. I have so many crazy ideas for this pairing that I'm going to have to pick and choose which ones I think I can pull off best!

**Healer- **I'm considering a one shot of Hermione's parents finding out, but it won't be within this fic as I don't have time before the end. **  
**

**Ratrix-Cartago**- Things have to calm down a bit now that the war is over... hence why there aren't as many "unexpected" moments. I checked out the song, and yes, it does remind me of Hermione/Bellatrix in this fic. Thanks for the reccommendation. :) _  
_

* * *

_We don't need to go that far_

_Let's hold on to where we are_

_If it's real we'll make it through_

'_Cause all I need is you_

_The Click Five, All I Need Is You_

* * *

_**28.**_

The day of Bellatrix's appointment with the Soul Healer arrived sooner than expected. Hermione had been prepared to attend with her, but Bellatrix had steadfastly refused to let her, preferring to go entirely by herself. As much as Hermione wanted to accompany her lover, she hadn't pressed the issue, not wishing to rile Bellatrix before a session that she imagined would be extremely intense. Nevertheless, Hermione also knew that she wouldn't be able to cope with waiting in the manor on tenterhooks, and so boldly she had decided to pay a visit to The Burrow to visit Harry, and the rest of the Weasley clan. Even if they ended up refusing her entry, at least she would know for certain where she stood.

Whilst Hermione was there, she also intended to collect Crookshanks. She felt guilty for barely giving him a second thought this year and not having rushed to be reunited with him the moment she was able to, but she'd had so much on her mind. Knowing that he was well cared for had been the main reason why she wasn't overly concerned about him; despite any potential animosity between herself and the Weasleys, she knew that they would look after her pet regardless. Even if the red haired family were angry with her, there was no way that they would mistreat Crookshanks; they always had been kind, loving people.

She had decided to Disapparate there and then walk to the house in a mark of respect towards the Weasleys; using the Floo Network to enter into their living room directly probably wasn't the best idea. Besides, a couple of seconds more in which she could debate what she intended to say to them and how to react towards them would be brilliant, because as things currently stood she didn't have a bloody clue about what to do for the best. Did she defend herself to the hilt, or did she admit that she saw their point of view? Did she allow them to insult Bellatrix (which she assumed they would) or try and persuade them to think differently? All she knew for sure was that she would not lie about anything, for that would achieve nothing. Even if there were painfully honest things she didn't want to say, she would say them anyway. _No lies, Hermione._

Going the back way, for that was the entrance through which she had always entered the property, Hermione noted that the kitchen door was ajar, and she could hear low voices inside. Cautiously, she creaked the door open, peering around it. Immediately, she spied Mrs Weasley stood next to the kitchen counter, with Ron and Ginny sat at the table. Making herself known, she stepped inside.

"Hermione," Mrs Weasley said finally, looking neither pleased nor displeased. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see Harry and... well to see how everyone is doing," Hermione answered truthfully. "I'd like to pick up Crookshanks too." She looked pointedly at Ron, but he refused to meet her gaze, fixated on the table. Ginny however, met Hermione's eyes, and although she didn't exactly look happy, she didn't look angry either. It was as though she were neutral and reserving judgement for the moment. This was something Hermione could live with; she didn't expect people to treat their friendship as normal, but civility was always a bonus.

"Harry's good," Ginny declared, and when she spoke she sounded much warmer than expected. "Crookshanks too. In fact... I'm just going to go and get them for you, ok?"

"Brilliant," Hermione said, forcing a smile. As Ginny left the room wordlessly, she focused her attentions back on Ron. "How have you been, Ronald?"

Ron grunted.

"Is that good or bad?" Hermione pushed. He was irritating her already, but she hadn't made it this far to give up at the first hurdle.

"Fine," Ron said tonelessly.

Although riled, Hermione did not give him the satisfaction of reacting, especially in front of his mother. It was obvious that Ron was in a sulky mood, but that wasn't going to deter Hermione. From what she had seen so far of Mrs Weasley, the older witch appeared to be watching the exchange between herself and Ron, waiting to see how their conversation went before she intervened. Or it could just be that she had yet to figure out why Ron was so upset, (unlikely) or else perhaps Harry had spoken to her to convince her that there was more to Hermione's relationship with Bellatrix than ordinarily met the eye.

"How lovely," Hermione forced out, with a smile through gritted teeth. "Have you been up to much?"

Ron shook his head, but he still didn't make eye contact with Hermione.

After a few seconds of silence, Mrs Weasley cleared her throat. "And what about you?" she asked with what sounded like forced politeness, addressing Hermione and facing her head on. _More than can be said for her son._

One look at Mrs Weasley's face, and Hermione realised that she definitely knew of her relationship with Bellatrix, as expected. However, by not mentioning something so important it seemed that she wanted Hermione to reveal this herself before she could comment on it, not wishing to be the one to bring it into the conversation. It was possible that she didn't want to blame Hermione for something that may have just been rumour, even if she had read about it in the Daily Prophet, or Harry and Ron had already told her themselves. Whatever the reason, Hermione wasn't going to give her the satisfaction; she would work around it and let Mrs Weasley be the one to bring it up.

"I've been relaxing and adjusting to life after the war," Hermione said, a simple half-truth. "Getting myself together."

"Yes. Well," Mrs Weasley said stiffly, and at once, Hermione sensed that she was going to mention Bellatrix after all, unable to help herself. "You should know that I didn't speak to the Daily Prophet about you; I actually threatened Rita Skeeter with the kitchen knife I was chopping carrots with. Believe me, it wasn't fear that led me to threaten to shove it where _Lumos_ won't shine!"

Hermione suddenly wanted to laugh, and had just opened her mouth to suggest that she should have followed through with her threat when Ron rudely interrupted. "I'd have thought you'd want to find your parents," he said, sounding bitter and judgemental. "Or don't you care about them anymore either?"

Hermione sighed. It hadn't taken Ron long to start with the sarcastic comments, and although she understood his anger, that didn't mean she was going to let such a statement go unanswered. She resented the implication that she didn't care about her parents, but she needed time to get herself sorted out before finding them. Apart from being scared of what state she may find them in, the last thing she wanted after giving her parents back their memories of her was for them to discover they had a shell of a daughter rather than the bright and vivacious one they had previously known. As it was she was going to have to locate them in Australia which was a difficult task in itself, followed by explaining to them why she had made the decision to modify their memories. If she wanted some times to work things through in her head to grieve and become used to her life now, then who was Ron to judge?

"Of course I care, but it isn't as simple as just finding them and giving them their memories back," Hermione said, trying to sound patient. "There's more to it than that."

"Like what?" Ron said, look at her with disgust. "Oh wait, I know. Your _girlfriend_ probably doesn't want you to, right? I mean, your parents are Muggles, aren't they? She probably won't be able to stop herself from introducing them to_ Crucio!_"

In truth, Hermione didn't know what Bellatrix thought of her parents. Although she had briefly made references to them, and Bellatrix had refrained from saying anything derogatory in reply, that didn't meant she wasn't thinking of them in an offensive way. Hermione had been hoping that Bellatrix would find it in herself to accept them in the way that Hermione had tried to accept Bellatrix's family (though Lucius Malfoy was bound to pose a problem in the future) and realise that Hermione needed her mother and father back in her life. However, there was no way she was going to tell Ron this. If there was one thing she was certain of it was that Ron didn't need yet more ammunition against Bellatrix.

"That's not fair," Hermione said angrily. She glanced towards Mrs Weasley for support, but the older witch was unable to meet her eye all of a sudden. It made sense now that Hermione really thought about it; Mrs Weasley had killed Rodolphus whilst under the impression that he was Bellatrix, and so it was obvious that she held more than enough hate towards the raven haired witch. Who was to say that even if Ginny's life hadn't been at risk that Mrs Weasley wouldn't have attacked the imposter Bellatrix anyway? "I thought you'd at least try and understand."

"I tried!" Ron exclaimed. "I can't though. It's_ disgusting_. If it has to be a woman you're with, why that hideous_ thing_?"

"You know nothing of my life now, Ronald," she said sharply, defending Bellatrix to the hilt. "Because you haven't bothered to get in touch. I want to be your friend; I _love_ you. I _miss_ you. But you have to accept that things are different now."

"No I don't," Ron said stubbornly, ignoring Hermione's declaration entirely. "I don't care if I never see you again. Go to hell, Hermione."

Hermione nodded. "Fine. I see there's absolutely no reasoning with you..." she turned to Mrs Weasley. "Does the same go for you and Mr Weasley?"

"That is something that I just cannot answer at present, Hermione," Mrs Weasley said wearily. "Look at it from our point of view. Bellatrix has committed some truly atrocious acts; I dread to think about the things she did whilst she served You-Know-Who as a Death Eater. Have you forgotten that she burned down our home too? Not to mention that she abducted and tortured you... how on earth have you forgiven her for doing something so awful?"

"I have forgiven her for all that she has done wrong," Hermione said simple.

"Some say that some acts are so abhorrent that they're unforgiveable," Mrs Weasley responded. "Not everyone is able to do what you have done."

"I accept that," Hermione said carefully. "But the end of the war means that everyone alive now should be granted a second chance if they are willing to change. And no matter what her motivations were, Bellatrix did a lot of good in the end."

"Like what?" Ron interjected incredulously, banging his hand on the table in front of him. His cheeks flamed with rage, making his freckles stand out even more.

"She saved Neville's life for one," Hermione retorted. "Had she not done that straight after he had killed Voldemort's snake, Nagini, then he would be dead now."

Ron stared at her with disgust, but otherwise didn't comment on this admission. In fairness to Mrs Weasley, she did have the decency to look surprised as opposed to disbelieving.

"She also defended Kingsley," Hermione added for good measure.

Again there was no response from Ron, although fortunately at that moment, Harry entered the room with both Ginny and Crookshanks trailing behind him. "Hermione," Harry said, the expression on his face implying that he had sensed the animosity in the room. He stepped towards Hermione in spite of the tension and pulled her into a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," Hermione said, attempting to sound upbeat and failing miserably. In an attempt to cover it up, she bent down to stroke Crookshanks' head tenderly, and hugged him to her chest, where he rested contently now that he was back with his magical familiar.

"I think I'll leave you all to it," Mrs Weasley announced, making her way towards the door. "Goodbye, Hermione."

"Goodbye," Hermione said, in the same formal, polite tone that Mrs Weasley had used when speaking her parting words.

"I'm coming too mum," Ron said immediately, and without bothering to so much as even look Hermione's way again, he strode out of the kitchen.

Now, faced with only Ginny and Harry, Hermione asked to neither of them in particular, "So am I right in assuming everyone else hates me?"

"No," Ginny answered softly. "Ron's just upset and I suppose mum and dad don't really know what to make of things. George is really depressed about Fred, and the others... well they haven't given their opinion as they've had other things to worry about. But I think that everyone thought that you and Ron would eventually... you know..." her voice trailed off, but the implication was clear._ Get married. Have a baby, and at least another before living a long, happy life together._

"I think we all did," Hermione admitted, her cheeks going red. "But I can't help the way I feel, Ginny. I love Bellatrix, and nothing is ever going to change that no matter how much easier my life would be if I didn't."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. I know that more than anyone. Last year when Harry, you and Ron disappeared, everyone told me I had to move on, that I was clinging onto false hope of ever being with Harry again, but it didn't matter," Ginny said sincerely, sharing a contented look with Harry. "You can't change your feelings, no matter how much you want to. So... I understand that much. What I don't understand is how Bellatrix can have changed so suddenly, but I trust you and I choose to believe you when you say that she has."

"Me too," Harry said finally. "Don't get me wrong; I still hate her, but she would have no reason to lie about Sirius. The others believe that too, you know. Their main problem is that they can't comprehend why you'd want to be with someone who has served Voldemort all this time."

"Semper Amor," Hermione said tiredly. "Isn't that explanation enough."

"_We_ know that," Harry said, answering for Ginny also. "But from an outsider's perspective, I suppose it's hard to imagine how that sort of love can be so strong."

"Well when they wonder again, tell them this," Hermione instructed. "It's love of great magnitude; all consuming, all powerful, and all controlling. When we were apart I felt as though I couldn't survive without her and that I would do anything to be with her, even if it meant giving up everyone I've ever cared about. I would be happier with her in the middle of the dessert with no food or money than I would to live in luxury with the most beautiful and kind man or woman in the world. That's how much I want and need her. She is my _everything_."

Harry nodded. "Really Hermione, we understand, and we can see how earnest you are. We'll tell them but whilst they will probably appreciate that you feel that way, they won't be able to accept that Bellatrix is capable of feeling a small amount of love, let alone love the way you have just described it. They will be unlikely to believe she is no longer a threat. That's something I find hard to believe too, if I'm honest."

This was something that Hermione could appreciate. Harry had accepted the truth about Bellatrix's actions, but he was also smart enough to be entirely aware that she had still done a lot of terrible things, even if she hadn't been the one to take Sirius away from him. Harry hated her for everything that she stood for because at the end of the day, his parents were still dead. He had grown up without a mother or father because of the cause that Bellatrix had stood for. The mere fact that Harry was mature enough to see past that and allow the love he felt for Hermione overrule his anger and upset was testament to all that he had learned from Dumbledore. It was clear to Hermione that this time a couple of years ago, he might not have been so understanding.

Hermione nodded. "I understand that. I don't expect you to ever be friends with Bellatrix, or even to like her. But I still want you in my life. Ron too, if he ever permits it."

"We still want you in our lives too," Ginny said, and she pulled Hermione into a hug. "We'll keep working on Ron, promise. But for now, don't worry, ok? You still have us. And if you need anything, then we're here."

"Thank you," Hermione said, smiling more easily now. Whilst things weren't ok, it felt as though they were going to get better eventually. She still had friends, and as long as she had them, life would slowly improve. Even if when she went back to Hogwarts and people were foul to her, knowing that she had several people other than Bellatrix to turn to if she needed them would make everything more bearable. "I should probably go; I don't want to overstay my welcome. But... well maybe we could meet up soon? Go shopping or something in Diagon Alley."

"Sounds good," Harry nodded. "Or a cinema trip. I'm introducing Ginny to the wonders of the Muggle world. I never got a chance to experience much of it as a child, and I'd like to now that there's not an evil wizard trying to murder me."

Hermione smiled. "That'd be lovely. And... thanks Ginny, for looking after Crookshanks. Thank your parents too for me."

"He's missed you," Ginny said, staring at Crookshanks fondly. "And it was no trouble, honestly. Do you want his things?"

"Can you just send them on? I've bought him everything that he needs already and I have them back... well back where I'm staying," she said uncomfortably, not knowing how to refer to Black Manor. _Bellatrix's home? My home? Maybe._

Ginny agreed to do so, ignoring Hermione's discomfort which she was grateful for. The three hugged once more before Hermione gave an awkward sort of wave, and left through the back door, clutching Crookshanks in her arms. Although her visit had been brief and had started off uneasily, it had improved greatly by the end. The simple fact of knowing that she had Ginny onside in addition to Harry had brightened her spirits, because she had been envisioning the worst of scenarios where absolutely everyone hated her and wouldn't even so much as look at her. It was a shame that Ron hadn't been able to get past the hatred, but Hermione chose to have faith that he would one day change. At the moment things were still raw; Fred's death, not to mention Lupin and Tonks' deaths too would have hit the Weasley family especially hard. Maybe in time everyone would learn to be more accepting and to practice forgiveness, even if they were unable to forget.

* * *

After Apparating back to Black Manor, Hermione sat in the library with Crookshanks at her side, reading up on Memory Charms to take her mind off Ron, if only for a few hours. Besides, it was useful information for her to learn; she wanted to make sure she knew enough about the different sorts of charms to adequately reverse the spell she had placed her parents under. After doing this, she chose to work on her Occlumency skills as best she could with the help of a book and only herself. The most effective way for her to become fully competent at Occlumency would be to practice with an accomplished Legilimens. Unfortunately, Bellatrix was the only Legilimens that she knew, and Hermione wasn't ready for Bellatrix to actively attempt to break into her mind, not willing for Bellatrix to see certain private memories, and especially because for the main part she wanted to use Occlumency to keep Bellatrix out of her head. The raven haired witch was so skilled that she managed to probe Hermione's mind without her being fully aware of what was happening sometimes, and in the future, that was something Hermione would like to prevent. Eventually, when she was stronger and there was less for Bellatrix to know about that Hermione hadn't already told her (she hoped that one day she could be open and honest with Bellatrix about everything) then she would be willing to ask her for help.

When Bellatrix finally arrived home, she was in a bad mood. Stomping with her heavy black leather boots out of fireplace and into the library, she threw herself down on the armchair next to Hermione. Sensing that Bellatrix was probably going to require her full attention, Hermione put down the book she was reading, _The Discipline of Occlumency_, and turned her body around so that she was now facing Bellatrix.

"What's wrong?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

"That was _dreadful_," Bellatrix complained. "That despicable woman, Healer Lawrence or whatever her bloody name was, didn't even want to talk to me about my service to the Dark Lord; she wanted to talk to me about my childhood. Does that even make sense? Not to mention her insistence that I take a stupid bloody potion called_ Sedonus _that will apparently help to stabilise my moods."

Privately, Hermione thought everything that Bellatrix said sounded completely fine, but she didn't want to say it in such a way as to offend Bellatrix or start an argument. Moving from her own armchair, she sat herself on Bellatrix's lap, wrapping her arms around her lover's neck. "Bella, even if you don't want to do this, you have to. It's a small price to pay for freedom, so it's best just to cooperate."

"I_ know_," Bellatrix said, sounding exasperated. She had yet to push Hermione away though, which she chose to take as a good sign. "It just seems so pointless! She was utterly fascinated by the most preposterous of things."

"Like what?" Hermione asked curiously.

Bellatrix shrugged. "Oh I don't know... ridiculous memories."

"Such as?"

"Oh you know, the usual childhood memories," Bellatrix said, shrugging her shoulders. "She was utterly enthralled by the fact my parents used physical punishments to chastise me, as though it's strange for a father to use _Wingardium Leviosa_ to levitate his child out of the window and then drop them!"

"Uhh, Bellatrix?" Hermione said, slightly disturbed. "That... that is strange. Actually it's more than strange... it's _horrible_." It sounded as though Bellatrix's father had abused her, whether she admitted it or not. Now that Hermione thought about it, Bellatrix's angry nature and violent behaviour were not the signs of someone who had been brought up in a stable, loving home, with her sisters also testament to that. Narcissa was utterly cold and shut off, and even Andromeda seemed to have had a haunted look in her eye. For Bellatrix, it seemed that she had chosen to deal with whatever demons were in her past by inflicting her fury on others, whether she realised it or not.

"Don't be so dramatic," Bellatrix huffed.

"Most parents don't do that to their children," Hermione said forcing herself to sound rational. "They stop them from reading their favourite books or from going out with their friends or punish them in a way that doesn't involve physically hurting them."

"Well how would you know? Your parents are only Muggles," Bellatrix retorted. "Wizarding families do things differently."

"Are you honestly telling me that you think it's normal to levitate a child out of a window and then to drop them? That could kill them if they fall from somewhere high enough!" Hermione exclaimed. "I can guarantee that no normal family do that to their children, wizarding or otherwise."

"Obviously they're not dropped from more than about five or six feet in the air," Bellatrix said matter-of-factly.

"It's still sick," Hermione proclaimed. "It's called child abuse."

"Anyway, what does it matter?" Bellatrix said indifferently. "All I know is that it's none of her business."

"The Soul-Healer is just trying to help, Bella," Hermione said gently. Not wanting Bellatrix to lash out, she placed a soft kiss against her cheek, and buried her head into the older witch's neck. "Don't let it get to you. Please, don't be mad."

"I'm not angry with you," Bellatrix said sharply. "I just don't understand the necessity of this. I betrayed the Dark Lord whilst he was still in power. I have never hidden my feelings, or pretended to be innocent; I have confessed all that I am responsible for. Why should I be made to talk about past events that I wish to forget about?"

Hermione pulled back, staring at Bellatrix in awe. "You know, I wish you'd talk like this to me more often. It makes me feel like you're trusting me, and that in turn I can be more open with you."

It really, truly did. Bellatrix never lied to her, but she didn't tell the truth either. She would very rarely reveal anything about her own life or feelings that meant something to her, and so to imply that she had suffered some sort of abuse to Hermione _and_ her Soul Healer was a major thing in Hermione's eyes. Now that she had disclosed something so personal to Hermione, she didn't want to completely discount the confession, but neither did Hermione want to push too hard and make Bellatrix close up once more. It was difficult to decide what to do for the best.

"I just don't see why it is necessary to discuss the past," Bellatrix stated, and now she sounded monotone. It was the sort of statement said in such a cold way that for a second, Hermione felt as though she were in a room with Narcissa, not Bellatrix.

"Sometimes the past has to be talked about," Hermione said, taking hold of one of Bellatrix's hands, and feeling elated when she didn't pull away. "I'm not saying it has to be something you talk about every single day for the rest of your life, but you should be able to talk about it sometimes, even if it's painful."

"It's not painful," Bellatrix denied, and she said it so vehemently, Hermione wasn't sure whether or not she was telling the truth anymore. People could be more forceful with their words whether they were telling the truth or when they were lying, and Hermione wasn't sure which of these applied to Bellatrix's latest statement. "I wish to talk about something else now, if you don't mind."

"Ok," Hermione said, choosing not to press the subject for the moment. Bellatrix had probably had enough for today and needed to unwind. "What do you want to talk about?"

Instead of replying, Bellatrix gave a yelp. "What is _that_?" she looked down horrified at Crookshanks who she had just spotted resting in front of Hermione on the floor.

"Crookshanks. Remember I told you about him?" Hermione said calmly. "I picked him up from the Weasleys today. Now that the war is over and I'm safe, it's ok for him to be with me again. I have everything needed to look after him; I bought it all the other day in Diagon Alley, so I can show you how to care for him whilst I'm gone."

"Speak to Lemmy; she can do that," Bellatrix said dismissively, not sounding particularly enthusiastic. "Wait, what? You went to the Weasleys?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes." Underneath her, Bellatrix stiffened. Smart enough to recognise the signs of Bellatrix's disapproval, Hermione quickly continued to speak. "You don't need to worry because Ron didn't even want to come near me. He _hates_ me."

"What happened?" Bellatrix demanded, not looking at all mollified. Once again, her pretty features had contorted horribly; a sign that she was becoming extremely irate.

In an attempt to comfort Bellatrix and prevent an outburst, Hermione slowly stroked her finger along Bellatrix's face and across her lips. "I spoke with Harry and Ginny, and even though they aren't exactly your biggest fans, they're trying to get used to the idea. Apparently Mr and Mrs Weasley are torn and unsure of what to think. I wasn't really there long enough to learn more than that," she said calmly.

Surprisingly, Bellatrix smirked. "That ginger cow is probably devastated it wasn't me she murdered."

"Don't talk about her like that," Hermione said, defending Mrs Weasley. For all her faults she had always been good to Hermione, and had never failed to treat her well. Even now she hadn't done anything particularly nasty to her; if anything, she was more hurtful years previously during the Triwizard Tournament, when she had read the Rita Skeeter article about Hermione supposedly toying with Harry and Krum's affections at the same time. "She's a good person."

Bellatrix stared at Hermione, nostrils flaring. "Do you fancy her?"

Hermione gawped back at Bellatrix, mouth open. "What...? I... no! Bloody hell, Bellatrix, what is_ wrong _with you? No! She's like a mother to me."

"Are you sure?" Bellatrix questioned her once again.

"Am I...? Yes! Yes, I am! Never ask me such a ridiculous question again!" Hermione exclaimed, unable to believe she was actually having such a conversation.

Hermione came to the conclusion that Bellatrix really was the most jealous person she had ever met. In hindsight it should have been fairly obvious a long time ago; when Rodolphus tried to use Hermione for his own pleasure it was probably the first sign of Bellatrix's possessiveness. Hermione couldn't believe that someone as headstrong and confident as Bellatrix would be worried about being betrayed, especially considering Semper Amor, but there was nothing she could do except try to placate her fears. Bellatrix was evidently going to have some problems adapting to being in a normal relationship after the weird one that she had had with Rodolphus when he'd still been alive.

Bellatrix's dark orbs focused on her own. "How do I know I can trust you?"

Hermione sighed, and despite her annoyance at Bellatrix, she kissed her tenderly on the lips. "I love you,idiot. The sooner you realise that the better."

Bellatrix didn't reply; instead she just pulled Hermione towards her once again. Sensing that it was a private moment between Hermione and Bellatrix, Crookshanks slipped out of the room quietly, Hermione supposing that he was leaving to explore the rest of the house.

Focusing on Bellatrix, Hermione allowed her to take the lead. She submitted herself to whatever Bellatrix chose to do, which was apparently to remove her shirt and bra so that Hermione was sat on her lap topless. Bellatrix stared at her chest with pure, unadulterated lust in her eyes, and unconsciously licked her lips. Enjoying the response she was drawing from Bellatrix, Hermione smiled, feeling her cheeks inflame from the attention that she was being paid.

Seconds later and Bellatrix fumbled with Hermione's jeans, trying her best to tug at the button and pull them down. She struggled, for although they were far from tight considering Hermione's weight loss, it was evident that Bellatrix wasn't used to such material. She wrinkled her nose with the effort, and it was plain to see that she was getting frustrated by the seemingly simple task that she could not complete.

"Let me do it," Hermione said, extremely amused.

Obliging, Bellatrix let go, but not before she flashed Hermione with a glare. "What are these stupid things you insist on wearing anyway?"

Now, Hermione couldn't help giggling. "They're called jeans."

"Well I don't like them," Bellatrix stated, and the second Hermione had undone them, she tugged them down.

"Too bad," Hermione said, and before Bellatrix could get herself worked up, she leaned in and kissed her. Throwing her jeans to the floor, she straddled Bellatrix with only her underwear on, her thighs wrapped around Bellatrix, and her upper body pressed against her lover. All that remained between them now was the clothing that Bellatrix wore; her black leather vest, thinly veiled black top and bra prevented Hermione from seeing her breasts too. Without pause, Hermione wasted no time in pulling each layer from Bellatrix, casting everything to the side and staring down at her lover's newly revealed flesh.

Desperate for Bellatrix to remove the rest of her clothing, Hermione undid each clasp rapidly, and roughly dragged down her lengthy black skirt. Next, she pulled off Bellatrix's laced black bra, and yanked down her knickers. Although Bellatrix didn't object to such treatment, she evidently wanted to outdo Hermione as she pulled on her panties with such force that she ripped them in the process.

"Oops," Bellatrix said, smirking.

With a growl, Hermione pulled Bellatrix backwards, and as she fell towards the floor, she flipped their positions so that she landed on top of her lover. She used as much strength as she could muster to pin back Bellatrix's arms against the floor, before she connected their mouths in a searing hot kiss. Although she was in charge, she suspected that if the raven haired witch really had a problem with it then she would easily be able to control Hermione. Apparently, she was letting her take the role of the dominant one for once. Savouring it whilst it lasted, Hermione lightly nipped at Bellatrix's neck, breasts, even belly button, before she lowered her head towards Bellatrix's core. After several teasing strokes, she jammed her tongue inside of Bellatrix, drawing out wild moans from the older woman that highlighted exactly how much pleasure was pulsing through her. Replacing her tongue with three fingers, Hermione alternated between sucking and nipping at Bellatrix's throbbing clit, causing her to come within minutes, screaming out in ecstasy as she did so.

Now it was Hermione's return to smirk. She raised her head, arching an eyebrow at Bellatrix, and she knew from the expression on her lover's face that she was very pissed off that Hermione had made her orgasm so quickly. It was only a matter of seconds and far too soon for Hermione to react, that she found herself underneath Bellatrix, with the older woman on top of her. Blinking, she wondered how exactly she had managed to reverse their positions so rapidly, before she realised that Bellatrix was much more capable of holding her down than the other way around, especially when she was annoyed.

Bellatrix didn't even bother to lower her head; she thrust two fingers inside of Hermione with no warm-up, already aware of how wet she was from what had transpired between them so far. Hermione had always been the sort of girl to anticipate things, enjoying the build-up, and sex with Bellatrix was no exception. She knew it wouldn't be long before her own release; Bellatrix held down her upper body, but not her lower half. Apparently Bellatrix was willing enough to allow Hermione a little control, which enabled her to bend her knees and spread her legs as wide as possible, serving to increase her pleasure further. In such a position it was easy for Bellatrix to powerfully flick Hermione's clit with her thumb, drawing moans and screams, until with one last thrust inside of her, Hermione's body rose and fell in a shattering climax. _Oh yes! Yes, yes, Bella!_

If Hermione had expectations that it would now be over, she was sorely mistaken. She barely had time to catch her breath when she realised that Bellatrix had shoved her head in between her legs, and was now lapping at her enthusiastically, her mouth pressed down against her centre, causing tiny jolts to run through Hermione's body. Gasping, she raised her head to look down at her lover, who had now focused all of her attention's solely on Hermione's core. Moving faster, she began to speed up as Hermione struggled to focus her eyes on the soft wet lips that sucked at her desperately, until finally, she slammed back down on the floor, calling out Bellatrix's name as she came for the second time.

Grinning, Bellatrix raised her head, lewdly wiping her mouth, and sucking each of her fingers in turn. "Never try to get one over on me, sweetie," she purred.

Hermione only whimpered at the sight before her, more turned on than ever. She watched as Bellatrix lay back on the floor next to her, and forcing what little energy she still had in her body to the surface, she crawled across onto her. Out of breath, she buried her head into Bellatrix's neck, ignoring the ninety-three tattoo that one day she would persuade Bellatrix to get rid of. Such beautiful skin shouldn't be tainted with a crude prisoner tattoo, especially when that was no longer Bellatrix's identity.

Words couldn't truly describe everything that Hermione felt now, but there was an intense, burning desire within, coupled with lust, love and several other feelings all for the raven-haired beauty who lay beneath her. Breathing hard, she moved raven curls backwards to reveal porcelain white skin, and shakily placed a gentle kiss on Bellatrix's neck. She enjoyed showing Bellatrix affection, knowing it wasn't something that hadn't been handed out to her enough over the years. It angered Hermione, because despite the fact she had done terrible things, it didn't mean she deserved that kind of treatment. _Especially not as a child,_ Hermione considered, remembering Bellatrix's blasé attitude about her parents punishing her. If anything, the lack of warmth and tenderness had probably contributed to Bellatrix's attitude and behaviour.

"What was that for?" Bellatrix asked curiously.

"Just felt like it," Hermione said. In her head she was thinking _get one over on me all you like because I bloody love you,_ but she wouldn't be so stupid as to confess this to Bellatrix, knowing that even if she submitted to her, she wasn't willing to openly admit it yet. Bellatrix probably had an inkling of what she was thinking about, but she wouldn't call her on it; deep down she seemed to know she was lucky enough to have Hermione, and for all her faults, she had not once forced her to do anything she hadn't wanted to do when it came to issues of intimacy.

"Now you're the idiot," Bellatrix said, but her voice was filled with a teasing fondness that made it clear Bellatrix liked the fact that Hermione was happy to show how much she cared for her in a physical way.

If there was any doubt at all as to the meaning behind Bellatrix's words, it was all erased when she grasped her wand from the table next to where they lay, and summoned a blanket and pillows, which she used to create a makeshift bed for them, there on the library floor. Hermione briefly wondered what Lemmy would think if she happened upon them like this, before she realised that it didn't matter. Instead, she allowed Bellatrix to gently manoeuvre her so that she was fully cushioned, and before Hermione fell asleep, she was aware of a tender kiss being placed upon her forehead, and Bellatrix's thumb softly stroking her forearm, sending shivers of pleasure down through her body once more.

Laying in Bellatrix's arms, for the first time, Hermione felt completely safe and content. _Thank you, Bellatrix._


	29. Chapter 29

Welll... only one chapter left to go after this! I hope that all you lovely readers are still enjoying this, and I thank you for your feedback once again.

**Kriszti7-** I know- it saddens me too that this fic will be over... but don't worry, I have plans to carry on writing! :)

**greeneleka-** Cheers dude. :) I think you too could have written an awesome version, however. :P

**Aureacupiditas-** Thank you very much for your kind words! It's always nice to see another Bellatrix/Hermione fan who enjoys this fic. :)

**owlcalledraven-** Yep, that's what I thought too. :) I just don't see everyone hating Hermione considering their happiness now they are free of Voldemort.

* * *

_Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars_

_Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing_

_It's okay not to be okay_

_Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart_

_But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising_

_There's nothing wrong with who you are..._

_Jessie J, Who You Are_

* * *

_**29.**_

The next few days passed without disruption for Hermione and Bellatrix. There were hardly any arguments between them, although there was a tense moment after Bellatrix arrived back from an interview at the Ministry, where she had been forced to discuss the extensive list of crimes she had committed over the years in order for her official pardon to be prepared. Hermione still had absolutely no desire to know of the horrors that Bellatrix had subjected Muggle-borns and Muggles to, and so she avoided asking Bellatrix too many questions about what had happened for fear that she would inadvertently learn something terrible about the older witch. Thankfully, Bellatrix appeared only too happy to ignore the subject, and after a few sarcastic comments directed towards Hermione, she had spent the entire evening alone in any room apart from wherever Hermione chose to be.

On occasion, Hermione could see that Bellatrix was irritated by her seeming lack of purpose in life now that Voldemort was dead, but whenever she started to become agitated, Hermione usually found some way of distracting her. Most often than not it involved taking off her clothes, but at the moment, Hermione didn't have any better ideas. She was concerned about what Bellatrix would do when she went back to Hogwarts, but she hoped that by then a solution would have presented itself or Bellatrix would have accepted her new life by that point.

One morning, Hermione sat eating her bowl of cereal whilst Bellatrix still remained in bed, when Lemmy entered the room in a rather unconventional way compared to her usual choice of entrance by walking through the door. The reason for this quickly became clear, however, by the presence of the blonde woman striding in behind her. Immediately, Hermione felt conscious, simply due to the fact that she was wearing a short, silky black dressing gown with nothing else underneath. It was as close to mortifying as she felt it could get, and with no power to control the way her body reacted to the humiliation, she felt her cheeks start to darken with embarrassment.

"Narcissa," she choked out.

"Miss Granger," Narcissa replied, her eyes trailing over Hermione's body. Her expression remained impassive, but Hermione imagined that had she revealed her true feelings, disapproval would be the main feature.

"Miss Hermione," Lemmy squeaked, interrupting. "Lemmy will leave Miss Narcissa with you, if that is ok?"

"Of course it is, Lemmy," Hermione said kindly, trying to hide her anxiety. "Go and take a break; do whatever you like."

As usually happened when Hermione treated her with such respect, (and rather like Dobby) Lemmy's eyes filled with tears. "Bless you, Miss," she said, her voice full of thanks, before she disappeared with a crack.

Throughout Hermione's brief conversation with Lemmy, Narcissa had watched their interaction, seemingly intrigued. Or at least, that was the impression that Hermione got from the miniscule amount of emotion that Narcissa had allowed to seep through into her facial features. Apparently she was interested in the dynamics between Hermione and her elf friend, causing Hermione to wonder briefly if Narcissa had treated Dobby the same way as Lucius had when he had belonged to them. She didn't think so considered the love that Kreacher had held for her and Bellatrix, because for all their faults, the Blacks had seemed to realise the importance of treating house-elves with respect, albeit for selfish motives to guarantee loyalty. Nevertheless, in Hermione's book they earned brownie points for that at least.

"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked tentatively when Narcissa still hadn't spoken after an awkward silence.

Narcissa took a step towards her, and said in an even tone, "I have come to speak with my sister. Is she here?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes, she's here. But... she's still asleep at the moment," she informed the older witch. Glancing down at her watch, she saw that it was half past nine. "She doesn't usually get up for another half hour."

Rolling her eyes, Narcissa placed her handbag down on the table. It was made of dragon's hide and looked expensive; had they been in the Muggle world, Hermione would have guessed it to be Gucci or Valentino. More than ever, it highlighted the differences between Narcissa and Bellatrix, because whereas Bellatrix still wore expensive clothing and had now started to wear makeup and take care of her appearance, there was something different about Narcissa that screamed _"Member of High Wizarding Society"_.

"Ah yes, I forgot about Bellatrix's penchant for sleeping late into the morning," Narcissa said dryly. "Do you want to be the one to wake her up, or shall I?"

"Uhh, well you're welcome to wait in the lounge until she wakes up," Hermione offered. She was almost certain that Bellatrix would not be impressed with being woken up before she was ready, whether by her lover or her sister.

Narcissa raised an eyebrow, and ignoring the offer, she drawled, "I assume that means I'll be the one to wake her?"

Hermione sighed inwardly. Apparently, the ability to be awkward and annoying ran through the whole of the Black family. She had seen signs of it in Sirius when he had been alive, she witnessed it in Bellatrix every waking moment of every day, and now she had learnt that Narcissa too possessed the same trait. _Brilliant._ How lovely for her it was going to be at family gatherings. Knowing her luck, Andromeda would prove to be the same way inclined, meaning that she would have three of them to deal with at once. This really was shaping up to be a fantastic day.

"You know, Miss Granger, Bellatrix is not the only Legilimens in the family," Narcissa said, sounding as though she was hinting at something.

For a moment, Hermione wondered why Narcissa was telling her this, before with utter mortification, she realised that Narcissa was aware of her thoughts. It seemed that if Hermione was oblivious to the attempt and didn't try to resist the mind intrusion she didn't feel weakened though, which was something at least. Nevertheless, exasperated with her inability to leave up her Occlumency barriers when not actively practising it, she put them in place now. May as well at least attempt some sort of damage control, after all.

Deciding the safest thing to do would be to ignore the entire conversation, Hermione stated, "I'm just going to go and get Bellatrix."

She swept from the room without another word to Narcissa, or even so much as a glance in her direction. She felt more intimidated by the blonde witch than she had ever thought possible, or indeed than she had ever felt with Bellatrix. It was like Narcissa held some sort of subtle power over Hermione, though why this would be the case Hermione couldn't say. She supposed that as time went on she would become more used to her lover's sister, but as it stood at present, she felt entirely uncomfortable in her presence. If it was the case that she felt the same around Andromeda then she would automatically have assumed that it was because of Semper Amor; maybe there was a strange side effect because they were linked by blood to Bellatrix? Perhaps it was the way that Narcissa treated her? Andromeda looked far more like Bellatrix so it couldn't be the physical appearance that caused it, but when it came to personality, Narcissa was more sarcastic and judgmental in the way that Bellatrix was, as opposed to Andromeda who was positively warm and caring in comparison.

Hermione had been so busy looking up Occlumency, and reading the many other fascinating books in Bellatrix's library that she had yet to consider the Semper Amor in great detail; though in hindsight she really should find the time to do so considering that it had made such an impact on her life. Maybe there would be a book that would provide the answers to her for why she reacted in such a manner towards Narcissa, though she didn't hold out too much hope considering that it wasn't as though she had feelings for Narcissa.

Shaking away her confused thoughts, Hermione entered the bedroom she shared with Bellatrix. She allowed her eyes to adjust to the darkness, sitting on the bed next to the raven haired beauty that was her girlfriend... partner... whatever. She smiled as she noted how oddly innocent Bellatrix looked in her sleep, and unable to resist, she brushed hair back from Bellatrix's face, and placed a chaste kiss upon her cheek. She felt the heat radiating from Bellatrix as she did so, and going one step further, she drew an arm around her warm body, and pressed her lips against Bellatrix's ear. "Wake up, Bella," she whispered.

Bellatrix didn't respond.

Rolling her eyes, Hermione gently kissed Bellatrix's earlobe, and traced kisses down along her jaw, before pressing a slightly firmer kiss against her closed mouth. This time, she managed to elicit a groan from Bellatrix, and encouraged, she spoke slightly louder. "Your sister is here."

Bellatrix's eyes fluttered, though she still didn't speak.

"Come on," Hermione said, firmer now. "Narcissa is waiting for you, and I get the feeling she's not exactly patient. If I were you I'd be grateful for the time I've afforded you and get up before she drags you out of bed herself."

"No she won't," Bellatrix mumbled, finally engaging in conversation. "I'll curse her straight out of the window."

Hermione smirked. "As amusing as I find that idea, you still need to get up." Taking another stab at tempting Bellatrix, she moved the duvet down, revealing the flawless skin of Bellatrix's chest. Lowering her head, she began placing small, fast kisses on each and every inch of bare skin, drawing another moan from Bellatrix. She grinned to herself as she felt her lover arch up into her, and Bellatrix slowly raised a hand to press Hermione's head down against her chest harder, increasing the amount of pressure.

Allowing her dressing gown to fall open, Hermione was utterly distracted from the fact that she was supposed to be getting Bellatrix out of bed to see Narcissa, and instead focused all of her efforts on kissing, licking and sucking on each of her nipples. The only reason she wanted Bellatrix to wake up now was so that she could have her full attention and persuade her that there were more enjoyable activities for them to be doing than merely sleeping the morning away. Bellatrix had began to stir beneath her, apparently no longer able to sleep peacefully when Hermione was doing her best to make her feel all kinds of wonderful. Eventually she opened her eyes fully, gazing down at Hermione's head where she had rested her chin on Bellatrix's flat stomach.

"I'm awake now," Bellatrix croaked, giving Hermione a sleepy smirk.

"Finally," Hermione responded teasingly.

"I'm not getting up though," Bellatrix declared, before pointedly yawning. "I'm just going to lie here and let you do all the work."

"Is that so?" Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow. She hauled herself up, straddling Bellatrix's stomach, resting her legs either side of the older woman's body.

Bellatrix nodded. "Get going, little babe."

Opening her mouth to retort, Hermione froze as she heard a delicate cough come from behind her. Without turning around she knew it could only be one person,_ Narcissa_, yet she was unable to move to shut her dressing gown, literally rooted to the spot with total embarrassment for what felt like the millionth time that morning. This was even worse than when Narcissa had walked into the kitchen not so long ago, because at least then she hasn't been in such a compromising position. Silently, she pleaded with Bellatrix by looking down at her, hoping that Bellatrix would get the hint and deal with the situation.

"I was under the impression that Miss Granger was going to fetch you for me, Bellatrix. Evidently, she appears to have... _forgotten_ what she was coming to wake you for," Narcissa drawled, her voice clearer as she stepped into the room, and walked over towards the bed.

Bellatrix grinned. "I can't help it if I'm such a distraction, Cissy."

Apparently though, Bellatrix was conscious enough to draw Hermione's dressing gown around her once more, and to tie a knot tightly in the front to prevent it from loosening again. It seemed that even though Narcissa was her heterosexual sister, Bellatrix was still wary enough about Hermione's body being on show to do something about it. Without a doubt Hermione should have found this annoying, but instead she couldn't help feeling it to be endearing that Bellatrix was jealous enough to think her naked body was worth seeing.

"Well if you could restrain yourselves for half an hour or so, I would appreciate it if I could speak to you," Narcissa said, addressing Bellatrix, and sensibly keeping her eyes firmly away from Hermione.

"Fine," Bellatrix sighed. "Go and wait in the sitting room... we'll be in now."

Silence. And then Narcissa said, "Actually Bella, I wish to speak with you alone."

Immediately, the atmosphere changed. Whilst there had been embarrassment felt by Hermione before, there wasn't any real tension or bad feeling in the room, but with Narcissa's words came awkwardness. Hermione was torn between being upset and angry for being left out, because although she understood that Narcissa may want to spend time alone with Bellatrix, she didn't need to be so blatant or coldly cruel about it. What was wrong with politely apologising and asking Hermione if she didn't mind? But no, she was a Black, and Blacks didn't bother to make the time for niceties.

Moreover, Hermione was worried. What if Narcissa's intention was to persuade Bellatrix that she was making a huge mistake by forming a relationship with Hermione? If there was one person in the world that Bellatrix would listen to since Voldemort had gone, it was Narcissa. To a certain extent, Bellatrix would indulge Hermione, but there was a different kind of bond that she had with her sister that seemed to matter just as much, possibly more than Semper Amor. She might actually give serious consideration to Bellatrix's words, and that was what worried Hermione the most.

Forcing a smile on her face, she spoke before Bellatrix could respond. "That's fine. I'll just go to have a bath and dress."

Quickly, she exited the bedroom, refusing to allow herself to look in Narcissa's direction as she left. She didn't use the en-suite in case Bellatrix chose to remain in the bedroom to chat with Narcissa, and so she instead made her way towards the bathroom she had once used when she had been a prisoner here. On autopilot, Hermione shut herself in the bathroom, undressing and getting into the bath the moment it had finished running.

For half an hour or so after washing, she lay there silently, staring ahead, her mind numb. She was so tired of always thinking, of being on edge so much just when things felt normal again. The fights, the battles, the dangers she had faced over the years had left her feeling far older than her eighteen years. When she was a little girl, before she had learned that she was a witch, she had envisioned herself in a completely different situation than the one she was currently in. Taking her A Levels, apply for Oxbridge to study dentistry, medicine, or another respectable degree, and then after gaining a First, progressing in the career of her choice, marrying and having two point five children. Instead, she was living with a witch some thirty years her senior, her parents were somewhere unknown in another continent, unaware of her existence, many of those she loved were dead, and her remaining friendships were precarious to say the least.

No longer able to stop the pressure from building up inside her stomach, knowing it had gotten too much, Hermione let out a cry. She slammed her head back against the bath, filled with rage and hate, not know how she had suddenly gone from feeling ok about things to feeling the worst she had in a long while. Completely distressed, she let the tears flow freely, letting go for the first time in as long as she could remember. The crying she had done up until this point had been restrained, quietened sobs that she still had a certain amount of control over, but no longer did she care. She didn't give a fuck, because her life was so confusing, so messed up, and she didn't know who she was anymore. She had done things the past year that she never imagined herself to be capable of. What little girl dreamt of destroying parts of a creature's soul when she grew up? What little girl dreamt about falling in love with one of the most hated people in their community? What little girl is forced to let go of their parents, to force them to forget, just to keep them safe?

She felt for Harry, she truly did. Neville too, and Luna who had lost her mother when she was younger, but no one seemed to remember what she was going through with her own parents. Other than sarcastic comments from Ron during their last meeting, when had he or Harry bothered to ask her how she was feeling about the fact her parents were thousands of miles away without her? _Not once._ She understood there were more important things to worry about, but for them to ask every now and then would have been enough for her. Even now she was too afraid to find her parents, scared that she couldn't reverse the effects of the charm, that something had gone wrong, or that Death Eaters had gotten to them and Bellatrix was hiding it from her. These past few weeks she had stopped herself from actively thinking about them, telling herself she was happy, but she could lie no more. All she wanted was her mum and dad. Was that so much to ask for?

"Miss Granger."

Barely hearing the voice, Hermione continued to cry, the tears steadily dripping down her face into the rapidly chilling water. She didn't care though, for she still had vivid memories of when she had taken a freezing cold bath, courtesy of Bellatrix Lestrange. That was how she would choose to identify the differences in the Bellatrix's she knew from now on, she decided. Bellatrix Lestrange would be her evil torturer, and Bellatrix Black would be the woman who sometimes loved her. A simple, yet complex distinction both at the same time.

"Hermione."

Hearing her first name, the voice louder now, Hermione slowly turned her head, and gazed into the eyes of Narcissa Malfoy. She faced away from her once more, and pulled her knees up so they pressed into her chest, protecting her modesty. Despite this, she felt naked in more than just the physical sense, and so she buried her head into her legs, her sobs shaking the whole of her body now. It didn't matter that Narcissa was here to witness her breakdown, because she had already seen her in the most revealing of positions on several occasions previously, from the time of her torture at Malfoy Manor to her intimacy with Bellatrix in the bedroom earlier on.

"Hermione," Narcissa spoke again. "Look at me."

"No," Hermione said, her voice muffled. Half-heartedly, she added, "I don't even know why you're here anyway considering the fact you _hate_ me."

"I don't hate you," Narcissa proclaimed quietly.

"Yes you do," Hermione said, insisting in a toneless voice that lacked emotion entirely. "When Bellatrix hurt me at your Manor... you just stood and watched. You did _nothing_." She stressed the last word, the only possible indicator that the memory of this still wounded her. It wasn't as if that was the only incident either; she vividly remembered the incident in Madam Malkin's just before the start of her sixth year at Hogwarts, when Narcissa had referred to her as "scum" before storming off with Draco.

Narcissa cleared her throat awkward. "I apologise. I know that what I did was wrong, but you have to understand the position I was in. I had no idea of Bellatrix's intentions at that stage, and I had my husband and son to think about. I derived no pleasure from watching you in pain, but ultimately there was nothing I could do to make things different."

"And that makes it ok, does it?" Hermione asked. For a split second she wanted to roar with laughter for no apparent reason, for the situation was far from funny. _So this is what crazy feels like._

"Of course not; I am merely trying to explain that I don't hate you. Granted, it is a little strange to see you and Bellatrix so... _close_... but I am becoming used to the idea, I assure you," Narcissa said, sounding the sincerest she ever had.

Hermione wanted to believe her, but somehow, she couldn't make herself. "Just leave me alone."

"I can't do that," Narcissa said, her voice impossibly soft. "What is the matter?"

"This has nothing to do with you," Hermione said, her voice breaking. "I don't know how or why you're in here, but I want you to _leave_."

"I heard you crying on my way back to the library to Floo home," Narcissa said, still speaking in the same gentle voice. "You didn't lock the door, and so I didn't exactly have to force my way in."

Hermione wished she had thought to cast Muffliato now, if only to have stopped Narcissa from hearing her during her moment of vulnerability. If she had come into the bathroom for an ulterior motive then it wouldn't have prevented her unless Hermione had put up wards before bathing, but seeing as she never bothered to do that, she wouldn't have ever thought to do such a thing. And somehow, she suspected that Narcissa was telling the truth, but that didn't make it any easier to be sat here now, showing weakness in front of her. She wasn't hiding her upset because there was no point, but it still made her feel ten times smaller around the formidable blonde witch. She remained quiet, trying to control her tears, but is seemed all her willpower had Disapparated to a faraway place where she could no longer reach it. Desperately, she dug her nails into her legs in an attempt to help herself feel calmer, but it didn't work.

Several seconds later, and she felt a warm hand rest on her back. After her first immediate flinch, she accepted in her own mind that it was just Narcissa attempting to comfort her, and so she tried to relax and think clearly. She had no clue why Narcissa was being nice to her, or even why she was addressing her by her first name all of a sudden, but right now she wasn't in the right frame of mind to consider the reasons for this. The only thing she could think to do was to not talk, waiting for Narcissa to be the one to speak again.

She didn't disappoint. "Shall I get Bellatrix?" Narcissa asked finally.

Hermione debated the question. On one hand, Narcissa was going to tell Bellatrix about this encounter whether she wanted her to or not, but on the other, did she want Bellatrix here now to make her feel better? Would she even make her feel ok again? The older witch was far from comforting in the traditional sense, but it may be that her presence forced Hermione to be brave, or at the very least stopped her from sobbing like a complete imbecile. It had been years since she had been properly consoled anyhow; being best friends with two obtuse teenage boys and being away from her parents for the majority of the year had meant that she'd dealt with most mini-teenage crises by either crying alone quietly at night, or speaking to Ginny if the chance was afforded to her, for the rest of the girls she shared a dormitory with or were in her year were utterly useless.

Coming to a decision, Hermione had just decided to tell Narcissa not to bother fetching Bellatrix and that she had to get out straight away, when she heard footsteps entering the room. Without hesitation, Narcissa drew her hand back from Hermione, and shuffled away from her position at the bath where she had been leaning over kneeling for the entire time she had been with her.

"What's going on?" Hermione heard Bellatrix ask.

Looking up, Hermione watched as Narcissa stood and made her way over to Bellatrix. She bent close to Bellatrix's ear and whispered something that without a doubt was related to Hermione. Immediately after, she placed a hand gently on Bellatrix's shoulder and then exited the room without so much as another glance in Hermione's direction. Hermione supposed she was leaving to go home, and so she sat perfectly still, staring at Bellatrix and wondering whether she was going to fly into a rage or ignore the situation entirely. Bellatrix hated her tears and so it would be much easier for her to turn a blind eye and walk away, leaving Hermione to deal with her own emotions. _Is it time to ignore me or tell me to stop crying?_

She did neither. _How odd._

"Come," Bellatrix said, and walking over to the bath, she waved her wand and wordlessly summoned a towel from the shelf. With strong arms she lifted Hermione from the cold water, and still supporting her weight, she wrapped a towel around Hermione's shaking body.

Hermione did as was expected, not bothering to fight Bellatrix for she didn't have the energy. She allowed Bellatrix to haul her out of the bath, and then with a surprising amount of strength even for Bellatrix, she carried her in her arms out of the bathroom and back into their bedroom. After brushing through Hermione's hair and casting a charm to dry it, Bellatrix surveyed her, a questioning look in her dark brown eyes. She was entirely in control as always seemed to be the case, with the power to make or break Hermione.

With this thought came a sick realisation for Hermione. "It's sort of like I'm your little Mudblood slave girl again, isn't I?" she said, smiling but deadly serious. "Look, I'm even wearing a towel like I used to!"

Bellatrix visibly swallowed. Carefully, Bellatrix pulled the towel from Hermione, revealing her naked body once more. Hermione allowed herself to be dressed in clean underwear from her drawer, before Bellatrix took her own heavy, green dressing gown from the wardrobe, and helped Hermione into it. After appearing to show concern in making sure Hermione was completely dressed, the raven haired witch tucked Hermione's legs underneath the duvet, and manoeuvred her head so that it leant against the pillow as she sat up, leaning against the headboard.

Casually sitting to the side of Hermione, but facing her direction, Bellatrix took hold of Hermione's hands. "What is the matter with you?" she asked, voice calm, not accusing. _Even odder._

"Nothing," Hermione denied. How could she possibly put into words the way she felt? How could Bellatrix ever begin to understand and empathise with her when she wasn't exactly emotionally capable of putting herself in another's shoes?

"There is something wrong, little babe. Tell me why you were crying," Bellatrix said softly. "Tell me what you need."

"You can't help me, Bella," Hermione whispered. "You will _never_ understand."

Bellatrix watched her for a few moments, and it looked as though she were debating with herself what to do. Her expression changed. "I'm sorry," she said simply. "Because you're going to be angry with me for this, but if you won't talk..."

So shocked was Hermione at Bellatrix's unexplained apology, that she failed to realise what she was going to do until it was too late. By the time she realised Bellatrix was performing Legilimency on her, the first layers of her mind had already been broken through, and due to the distressed state that she was in, her defences were even worse than usual. Hermione saw disjointed flashes in her head of her capture... the dead faces of all her friends... even the moment she had seen Harry lain on the floor, assumed dead... when she had to wipe her parent's memories... and then Ron arguing with her... the kiss in the Room of Requirement.

_No,_ she panicked. _No no no!_

With every last ounce of energy she possessed, she forced Bellatrix out of her head. The world around her span, and colours whirled around confusing her, making her forget where she was. The only thing she was aware of was that Bellatrix was no longer holding her hands, and that she was lying down rather than sitting, evidently having slumped during her defence. As she began to think more lucidly, her vision returned to her. Blinking, she forced herself upwards, and looked towards Bellatrix, trying not to shake too violently.

Bellatrix sat digging her nails into her knees, breathing heavily. Her hands were trembling, her face was pale, and were it not for the murderous expression in her eyes, Hermione would have assumed her to be upset. As it was, she realised the reason for Bellatrix's fury was the kiss she had shared with Ron. Bellatrix had seen it in Hermione's mind, had even seen Hermione initiate it. The chance of her believing the real reason for it, even if she looked inside of Hermione's mind again, was extremely slim. Desperately, Hermione tried to force her mind to work again properly, for she couldn't afford to be upset and vulnerable when she badly had to explain and defend herself.

"That last image..." Bellatrix said, and her voice was low, dangerous. "It was during the Final Battle, wasn't it?"

"Y-yes. N-nothing I say will make you believe me, but I didn't think. My mind was working overtime, and Ron was ju-just being so nice, and I just... well I was thinking of you, and somehow in my head I got everything confused, and I... kissed him," Hermione stammered. "I know you probably don't believe me, but it's true."

"Do you have any idea," Bellatrix said, still speaking in the same growling tone. "How much I want to hurt you right now?"

Hermione was vaguely aware that she should be more afraid, but somehow, she couldn't find it in her to feel anything but defeated. "Yes... and I'm not going to try and stop you if you decide to. What's the point? It doesn't matter how much I tell you I love you; you're always jealous of something."

"You _kissed_ him," Bellatrix said, sounding disgusted.

"I know, and I'm sorry," Hermione said. "It wasn't what it looked like. That's why I didn't tell you... because that kiss mean nothing."

"Oh of course it meant nothing," Bellatrix said sarcastically. "How ridiculous of me to assume otherwise!"

"Bella," Hermione said, waiting until Bellatrix looked directly at her until she spoke again. "I feel so terrible right now. You... you saw that in the bathroom just now. Please don't make this harder for me... I feel so alone because everything is different. I've lost several friends during the war, and I might never see my parents again. I don't think I can bear for you to leave me too."

"Leave?" Bellatrix said, sounding incredulous. "Why would I leave? That _ugly kiss_? If anything, the mere thought of that makes me want to keep you here to _suffer_."

"I assumed that Narcissa asked you to end what we have," Hermione said, ignoring the thinly veiled threat and voicing her one of her greatest fears. "Why else would she want to talk to you alone?" _Stay calm, stay calm._

Bellatrix shook her head. "You're wrong. She wanted to pass on to me Lucius' pathetic little concerns about our relationship, but only because he is her husband and asked her to. She wouldn't dream of asking us to end things! You think that she hates you, but she doesn't. I saw the way that she looked at you today, and it wasn't hate. In fact, she warned me to take care of you before she returned home."

Thinking over what had happened in the bathroom, Hermione remembered Narcissa whispering in Bellatrix's ear. Should she believe her? Bellatrix would have no reason to lie, and so she assumed it to be the truth. It did beg the question as to why Narcissa was being so kind, but that wasn't something that was a major issue for Hermione at the moment; her main problem was dealing with Bellatrix's feelings on the Ron situation. Discussions regarding Narcissa didn't matter as long as Bellatrix was willing to ignore what her blonde sister thought of Hermione. Nevertheless it may be the truth, for Bellatrix had cared for her today in a way she had never done so previously, which quite possibly could have been because of something Narcissa said.

"You were doing a good job of taking care of me before you performed Legilimency on me," Hermione said, feeling hurt.

"Maybe I should practice _Avada Kedavra_ on Weasley," Bellatrix hissed, ignoring Hermione and focusing on her own thoughts. "If he was out of the picture then I wouldn't need to worry so much."

Unaware that she was even crying again until she felt a tear rolling down her cheek, Hermione replied, "You don't need to worry anyway. It's only you I want." She shuffled towards Bellatrix, and threw her head against her chest. Unresponsive, Bellatrix remained still, statue-like. She was completely unmoved by Hermione's actions. "All I want is to have my mum and dad back, and for you to love me. That's all. I know I can never bring back to life my friends who died, and I know I can't change the way people feel about us, but I just want those two simple things. I miss them so much, Bella. And I hate you closing off from me, or thinking that I have feelings for Ron, because in case you didn't notice I destroyed the platonic friendship we had by rejecting him for you."

Bellatrix breathed deeply. She growled, "I abhor him. You're _mine_."

"Yes," Hermione agreed, feeling tears fall against Bella's bare skin as they ran off her face. "I'm yours."

"Prove it," Bellatrix demanded, cupping Hermione's face in her hands. "Make the Unbreakable Vow..."

"Wh-what?" Hermione stuttered, pulling back. Surely she had misunderstood?

"Promise that you will never kiss Weasley again," Bellatrix ordered. "That you will never allow him to touch you, and that you will always be mine."

Hermione bit her lip. How could she promise such things? An Unbreakable Vow could not be broken without resulting in her death. She didn't desire Ron in the slightest, and she was ok with Bellatrix stating that she belonged to her because it made her feel just that little bit more secure. All this and more was true, but how could she make such a bond when things changed? Life progressed. People moved on. Maybe she would always love Bellatrix, but she couldn't account for every eventuality in the future; she was nothing if not logical. Putting it into a vow that couldn't be broken no matter what the circumstances was nothing if not suicidal. If Bellatrix hated her for saying no then she was extremely sorry, but she refused to make such a vow.

"I can't," Hermione said quietly. "I'm sorry because I can promise you all of that, but putting it into a vow I am not prepared to do."

"If you really mean what you say, then you'll do it," Bellatrix said stubbornly.

"I do mean it," Hermione promised, and she pressed her own wet cheek against Bellatrix's dry one. "But I can't make the vow... what if something accidental happens?"

"How exactly would your tongue accidentally end up in Weasley's mouth?" Bellatrix spat into her ear, causing Hermione to flinch.

Swallowing, Hermione shook her head. "No... that wouldn't happen. But what if someone at Hogwarts thinks it's funny to give me a love potion that makes me want to kiss Ron and I do uncontrollably? Or in the heat of the moment when we're arguing, I state that I don't belong to you? Or Ron tries to touch me without me wanting him to? Do you know what that means? I die."

Comprehension dawned on Bellatrix's face. "Oh."

"Yes, oh," Hermione repeated. "Do you want to risk my death?" she asked, her voice quivering as she dreaded even asking the question.

"You know that's not what I want!" Bellatrix denied vehemently.

"Then don't ask me to do such a thing," Hermione said. "Trust me when I say that I mean it. I love you. Don't you remember what we read about _Semper Amor_? '_There is no desire whatsoever for the lovers of Semper Amor to attempt relations or affairs with any other, thereby ensuring complete emotional faithfulness.' _And I have no physical desire to go near him either, so please, don't worry."

Some of the fire in Bellatrix's eyes died, and she looked almost placated. "I will never let you leave me, so you'd better tell Weasley that."

"I have," Hermione said, because how much clearer could she be to Ron?

"No," Bellatrix said, no longer shaking. She rested a hand against Hermione's face, and at that very moment, Hermione knew she was starting to come around. "You write him a letter explaining your feelings, and that if he ever comes near you, he will have me and Cruciatus to answer to."

"Fine," Hermione said, at that point willing to agree to anything to make Bellatrix calm. She would have to rephrase the request so that it didn't sound quite as threatening, but she would do what she had to do to keep Bellatrix.

"As for the matter of your parents," Bellatrix continued, changing the topic suddenly. "It seems we will have to find them. I'm sure it'll be possible, there are many ways of tracing people. Not to mention that your parents are Muggles... which means that they won't have covered their tracks very well. The methods you employed to hide them can be the very same methods used to find them."

"Do you really think so?" Hermione asked, disbelieving that Bellatrix meant what she said and that she had so easily changed the subject willingly.

"Yes," Bellatrix said vehemently.

"Wh-why would you help me after what you've just found out?" Hermione asked timidly, voice quivering. It wasn't that she intended to refuse the idea, but she just couldn't believe that Bellatrix would offer such a thing out of the blue with no prompting whatsoever. "Aren't you angry?"

"I'm fucking furious," Bellatrix snapped. "But that doesn't mean that I want to see you miserable."

"You... you just said you want to keep me here to suffer," Hermione said, reminded Bellatrix of the words she spoke less than five minutes ago.

Bellatrix sighed. "I didn't mean it. Well, I did, but I think I've made you suffer enough lately. I can't tell you that this isn't an issue for me, but lashing out at you won't change the past. I see that now. There was a time when I would have dealt with this by torturing you, but you have my word that I won't do that today. I think that the _Sedonus _potion I have been taking is starting to help me control my affinity for causing pain." Lightly, Bellatrix kissed the top of Hermione's head.

That was all the proof that Hermione needed, and she was almost certain she was going to be forgiven at some point. It had been debatable for a brief moment whether Bellatrix was going to hurt her, but for the first time she had successfully managed to control herself. It was entirely bewildering to Hermione, but the fact she didn't succumb to her anger helped Hermione to feel better about the whole situation, even if she did have several knots churning in her stomach.

Calmer, Hermione relaxed in Bellatrix's arms, almost certain that the arguing was now over. She supposed the good thing about the intense fights they had was that they didn't tend to drag on for days or weeks on end, not like her arguments with Ron always had. She dreaded sending the letter that Bellatrix wanted her to send to her former friend considering it would probably make him hate her even more, but seeing as they weren't even civil at present anyway it wasn't exactly going to be a great loss to her. Maybe it would make things more difficult in the long run, especially considering her friendship with Harry, but there was nothing about her life that was simple anymore. It was all part of growing up, and all she had to remember was that she wasn't alone. No matter what, Bellatrix was here to stay. The thought should have scared her, and once upon a time it would have unequivocally terrified her, but now it just made her feel optimistic, despite the overshadowing aches of her parents.

_At least I'm not alone. Not completely.  
_


	30. Chapter 30

**Well you know what they say... all good things must come to an end! I truly have enjoyed sharing Impossible with you over the past few months... all the fantastic reviews I have had made me smile when sometimes I was so stressed that I wanted to cry! I really appreciate all the reviews I have been given, and especially those loyal reviewers who have let me know their thoughts time and time again. I hope to post more fic for you as soon as I have the chance! All my love, peace out. X**

**AureaCupiditas** - That's a really lovely thing to say- thank you!

**owlcalledraven-** I thought the same... had it come out about Bellatrix and Hermione during the war, people wouldn't have been so accepting. Thank you. :)

**Kriszti7-** I did debate having a Hermione/Narcissa pairing as well, but no. It wouldn't work considering Semper Amor, so I'm going to have to save that one for another fic. :P Bellatrix is just jealous of absolutely nothing, as always. :P

**deedeex912-** Well I'll probably explore Narcissa kindness more should I do a sequel but put simply, it's because she realises how good Hermione will be for Bellatrix. She makes her more sane and brings happiness into her life, which has never happened before. As for Ron, he's a stubborn character.

**greeneleka**- Haha, MY Narcissa now too, is it? :P She is a hard character to figure out... and I too am a fan of jealous Bellatrix. She appears again in this last chapter, you'll be pleased to note! Yes, I am hopeful that I will have time for a sequel, someday soon!

**some-girl-somewhere**- Yes, I am indeed planning on writing another Hermione/Bellatrix fic as soon as I have the chance! Thank you for the compliment. :)

**Cobrastryke-** No, thank you for being so lovely! :)

* * *

_Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father_

_Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers_

_Leave all your loving, your loving behind_

_You can't carry it with you if you want to survive_

_The dog days are over_

_Florence and the Machine, Dog Days Are Over_

* * *

_**30.**_

_**August 1963**_

_Bellatrix had always loved the summer night times. When her__ parents were in bed, she would sneak out of the house and into the garden, her heart pounding from the thrill of doing something that she shouldn't be. She would lie on the grass and stare up at the stars for hours on end until she fell asleep, protected from the chill of the winds by the huge duvet she carried, with a heating charm to keep it warm, courtesy of her mother. Fortunately, she always managed to wake with enough time to sneak back into the house before her parents awoke, and no one ever knew that she had even left the manor in the first place._

_Until the night she heard whispers behind her. _

_Jolting up, she peered around the bush she had hidden behind, shielding her from the view of her parents' bedroom should they decide to look out of the window. The whispers grew louder, and soon she realised that it was the voices of her younger sisters, Andromeda and Narcissa that she could hear coming closer. They hadn't yet spotted her, but she could hear their conversation perfectly well._

"_She's got to be here somewhere," Andromeda said matter-of-factly._

"_I want to go back to bed, Meda," Narcissa whined back, and Bellatrix instinctively knew that she would be tugging on Andromeda's hand, even if she couldn't see her doing it._

"_We will in a bit if we don't find her, ok? I promise," Andromeda said kindly, and as she came into view, Bellatrix noticed her peering around looking for her._

"_Meda!" Narcissa said, sounding more hysterical now. "I want to go back!"_

_Bellatrix sighed. She liked her peaceful nights alone out here without her sisters, because as much as she loved them, she liked to be alone too. On the other hand, the rest of the many peaceful nights that she would experience in the future were in jeopardy if Narcissa made much more noise and woke their parents. It may be best if for one night she just revealed herself, if only for her own benefit. It was going to be a serious pain in the arse having to listen to her sisters drone on, but it was for the best in the long run._

"_Narcissa," she hissed sharply, causing both her sisters to jump and look around frantically for any sign of her. "Shut up, before you wake mother and father!"_

_Spotting her older sister and immediately relaxing, Narcissa smiled with relief. "Bella!" She ran over to her, throwing herself down on top of the duvet. "What are you doing here?"_

"_Yes, what are you doing here, Bella?" Andromeda asked inquisitively. She too sat down on the other side of Bellatrix._

"_I'm looking at the stars," Bellatrix said. "Or at least I was before you idiots interrupted me."_

_Andromeda looked annoyed, and Narcissa looked downcast. Always the one to retaliate, Andromeda snapped, "Well you shouldn't be sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night. If mother and father knew, you would be in serious trouble."_

"_Better keep your mouth shut then, hadn't you?" Bellatrix said threateningly. _

_Narcissa shook her head, her blonde hair swinging back and forth as she did so. "We're not going to tell. Promise!" She grinned up at Bellatrix, and Bellatrix felt herself began to soften. For some insane reason, Narcissa idolised her, and she didn't want to upset her so much that she went crying to their parents after all._

"_Good," Bellatrix said smugly. It was amazing how much control she had over Narcissa without even trying, for she truly was idolised._

"_Can we sit with you?" Narcissa asked, looking at Bellatrix with hopeful, pretty brown eyes. "I feel safer now that we're with you."_

_Bellatrix looked curiously at Narcissa. "You do? Why?" _

"_Because you can do anything," Narcissa said confidently. "Can't she, Meda?"_

_Raising an eyebrow, Bellatrix looked at Andromeda. It was a challenge, and she was sure Andromeda knew that. She didn't want to pay Bellatrix such a compliment, but neither did she want to upset Narcissa, not when she was their baby sister whom they both doted on. It put Andromeda in an extremely awkward position, which Bellatrix secretly found it to be hilarious. With anticipation, she sat still, waiting with her eyes fixed on Andromeda's to hear her reply._

"_Yes," Andromeda said finally. "She can."_

_Unable to stop herself, Bellatrix grinned. Holding up her warm duvet, she made enough room for Andromeda and Narcissa to join her underneath. Together, the three sisters curled up, lying back on the grass and gazing into the dark sky above them. There was silence between them as they stared up in awe at the specks of light in a giant night sky. It was amazing, Bellatrix thought, how tiny they were in such a vast space. They were small and insignificant, but they were still the beautiful spectacles that were the focus of people's attention as opposed to the darkness surrounding them. _

"_Sisters forever, right?" Narcissa said happily, drawing Bellatrix back to the conversation._

"_Sisters forever," Andromeda echoed._

_A pause._

"_Sisters forever," Bellatrix said._

* * *

Days later and Hermione's near breakdown had almost been forgotten. She was pleased to note that Bellatrix had not appeared to hold a grudge, and instead had treated her far better than usual. Whenever she went to the library to read books, or sat writing letters to her friends, more often than not Bellatrix found a reason to sit with her. At first, Hermione wondered if she was building up to something she wanted, but eventually, she came to the conclusion that this was Bellatrix's own way of showing her support. She would never sit and talk to Hermione in-depth about her feelings, but she would observe her to make sure that she was coping.

Bellatrix had been taking the potion _Sedonus_ that her Soul Healer had advised her to take on a daily basis, and the improvements in her personality were astounding as each day passed and the potion began to have greater effects. She was still sarcastic and angry, but far less likely to fly off the handle for no reason, and more placid all round. Hermione hadn't been able to stop herself gawping in shock the previous day after the raven haired witch had arrived home from a meeting with the Ministry, proclaimed she had been pardoned, and proceeded to sit and read a book quietly with no mocking words of frustration at what she had been made to endure. It seemed that she really was changing, right before Hermione's eyes. _Amazing._

The day after this happened, when Hermione was walking through the huge grounds surrounding the manor and trying to soak up the sunshine, Bellatrix approached her from behind. "Let's sit for a moment," she said casually, and Hermione knew at once that there was something she wanted. It was instinctive, but also the fact that she knew her lover so well by now, though she didn't get the feeling that she should worry too much considering the calm tone of voice that Bellatrix used.

Once seated fairly comfortable on the grass, Bellatrix waved her wand, and an umbrella appeared, shading them both from the sun's rays. Frowning, Hermione said, "I was enjoying the sun, you know."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "It'll ruin my complexion."

"Since when did you care about your complexion?" Hermione asked, amused.

"Since I began courting a witch who is twenty-nine years younger than me," Bellatrix retorted.

Struggling not to laugh at Bellatrix's use of the word "courting", Hermione decided it was probably best for her to ignore the defensive sarcasm and move on to discussing whatever it was Bellatrix wanted to talk about. "You don't need to worry about your complexion, Bella. Honestly," she said sweetly. "Now what is it you want?"

Bellatrix pulled out a roll of parchment, and a quill from her pocket. "I want you to write a letter to Weasley, as you promised you would," she said happily. It sounded like a friendly, almost joyful request, and there was no bitterness in her voice, much to Hermione's immense relief.

Despite the fact Hermione really didn't want to do it, she realised that she had no choice. She had assured Bellatrix that she would write to Ron, and if she didn't want to start another argument, then that was what she would have to do. She wouldn't be able to be as blunt or forceful as Bellatrix wanted her to be, but she would give the letter her best shot, if only to drum it into Ron's head that they would never again be together. Hopefully, that would be enough for Bellatrix. The tone of the letter would be harsh but fair, she decided.

Picking up the quill, she began to write, formulating the words in her head as she went along.

It was harder than she thought. How did you put into words the fact that you weren't in love with someone, but you still wanted to be their friend? And that they probably shouldn't come too near you at any stage in the immediate future, because your slightly insane lover was likely to murder them? It wasn't like anything Hermione had ever written before, and with luck she would never again have to write more similar letters in the future. Besides, it was quite likely that Ron had already got the message; she was only doing this to make Bellatrix feel better about her precarious friendship with him, and to stop her lover from holding a grudge against herself and Ron for the regretted kiss in the Room of Requirement.

Eventually, she managed to get the words she needed down onto the parchment:

...

...

_Dear Ron,_

_I am not entirely sure what exactly I should write and the way in which to say it, so I'm going to just be blunt, much in the way that you yourself are. _

_I love Bellatrix. I will always love Bellatrix because of Semper Amor. You don't understand that, but you should respect it. I want you in my life as a friend, but unless you're prepared to be just that, a friend, then we can never spend any time together. There is no point trying to change my mind because it won't happen, and if you even try to, that would be an extremely stupid choice to make. You know who Bellatrix is and what she is capable of, so I advise you to take me seriously._

_You're so infuriating, really you are! I want us to be friends, and I miss you. I miss your stupid jokes, the way you never listen to anything I say (though you really should pay attention to this letter else I won't be able to stop Bellatrix from confronting you) and even just socialising with you._

_Please think about the friendship you're giving up if you never talk to me again. I'm sorry that I can never be with you, but you can always have me in your life as a best friend, if you'd like to take me up on the offer._

_Love Hermione._

_..._

_...  
_

There. What else was there to say? She didn't see what else there was to include that would possibly make Bellatrix any happier, and so she handed the parchment to the raven haired witch, waiting for her reaction with apprehension abundant. Hermione was smart enough to realise that had Bellatrix written the letter herself (and really, she was surprised that she hadn't at least tried to) then it would have been much more offensive and rude than the one that she herself had written.

"It's too nice," Bellatrix said predictably. "He won't take it seriously enough!"

Hermione sighed. "He will, Bella. I know Ron better than you..." She held up a hand to stop Bellatrix from retorting. "...and I know that he's unlikely to want to speak to me ever again. Which is a shame, because I would really like a platonic friendship with him."

Sneering, Bellatrix tossed the letter back onto the floor. "You don't need him as a friend; there are plenty of other people for you to be friends with," she said dismissively. Suddenly, her face brightened. "I have the perfect idea! Why don't you make friends with Draco?"

"Draco, as in your nephew, Draco?" Hermione said, disbelieving. "Are you _serious_?"

"Well, what's wrong with him?" Bellatrix asked, sounding astonished. "He's related to me."

_Exactly_, Hermione thought, but she didn't want to be so blunt as to say it, even sarcastically. "Lucius hates me, and would go absolutely mental at the idea of his son socialising with me," Hermione offered instead.

"I've told you before to leave me to handle Lucius," Bellatrix snorted.

Hermione ignored this comment. She snorted, "You only want me to be friends with Draco because he can spy on me for you, tell you what I say, and because he wouldn't dare be so stupid as to make a move on me."

Bellatrix shrugged, not even bothering to deny it. "What's wrong with that?"

"Draco and I... strongly dislike each other," Hermione revealed. In actual fact they despised each other, but she didn't need to be so obvious about it to Bellatrix in case she took it upon herself to force Draco to be nice to her. The last thing she needed was for Lucius Malfoy to start kicking off because Bellatrix had told his precious son to make friends with a Mudblood. Bellatrix might just about see past her blood status these days, but that didn't mean that she could make others feel the same way.

"Well, who else are you going to socialise with at Hogwarts? Potter will be hanging out with Weasley, I assume," Bellatrix said.

"If they go back," Hermione said. "And... well, I'll have Ginny, Luna, Neville; I don't just have two friends. I know for a fact that Ginny and Neville will talk to me, and I have a feeling that Luna will too. So... I'll be fine. Other than that, I'll be too busy studying. And sneaking you into the castle every now and again," she added teasingly.

Looking appeased, Bellatrix smirked. "Hmm. So how exactly are we going to do that, right under McGonagall's nose?"

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "I know you have this vision of me in your head as a goody-goody, but I've broken quite a few school rules over the years," she began.

"Really?" Bellatrix interjected, disbelieving.

"I brewed Polyjuice Potion in my second year," Hermione announced, avoiding mentioning the fact that she inadvertently turned herself into a cat in the process. "And I knocked out Snape when disarming him in my third year." She was careful to avoid specifically mentioning anything that was too related to Voldemort, not wanting to bring him into the conversation. As the days had passed, he had been coming up less and less as a topic of conversation, and Hermione was determined to keep it that way. Leaving him in the past was the best thing to be done, as far as she was concerned.

"My my," Bellatrix drawled. "Not the innocent little Gryffindor you'd have me believe you to be then, hmm? I suppose Polyjuice Potion is what you used to disguise yourself as me when breaking into my vault?"

Realising that she hadn't yet discussed that particular mission with Bellatrix, Hermione had the good grace to blush. "Yes. Sorry."

"I can't believe you managed to pull it off for as long as you did," Bellatrix said, shaking her head. "You may know me well enough but I think it's clear that we have absolutely nothing in common... I can't even believe you dared to do it."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Hermione admitted, still embarrassed. "It was strange though, to pretend to be you. It felt entirely wrong."

Bellatrix looked offended. "Thanks!"

"No sorry, I didn't meant it like that!" Hermione protested. "It was just the fact that I found myself attractive, but at the same time I wasn't exactly myself. That probably doesn't make any sense, does it? Anyway the point is I thought I was hot which obviously isn't normal."

Bellatrix grinned evilly, and at once Hermione knew that she wasn't genuinely angry and was teasing her instead. "If you sneak me into Hogwarts to see you, all will be forgiven."

Smiling sweetly, Hermione laughed aloud as Bellatrix pounced, pinning her to the ground. "I'll scope out the weak points of Hogwarts as soon as I can. McGonagall will probably be keeping an eye on me considering my association with you so it may take a while, but I'll manage it somehow. Maybe Harry will let me borrow his cloak and I can sneak out, or you can meet me in the Shrieking Shack."

"How brilliant," Bellatrix said with a groan, and she kissed Hermione's neck before alternating between sucking and nibbling on it.

Responding, Hermione tilted her head backwards and fluttered her eyes shut, digging her nails into her lover's back as she sent pulses running through every nerve in her body. "Ohhh..." she moaned, and was distracted entirely from the conversation by Bellatrix's movements on her body. She didn't want to talk very much anymore; all she could think of doing was touching Bellatrix in every way she could right there on the grass. _How adventurous!_

It wasn't long before Bellatrix had shoved a hand up Hermione's skirt, and slid her hand inside of Hermione's underwear. She shifted above Hermione allowing her more room to breathe, and the choice to bend her legs outwards if she chose to do so. As was expected of her, Hermione pulled her legs up and wrapped them around Bellatrix's back, throwing her hands behind her head. She allowed Bellatrix to use her remaining free hand to expose her breasts by pulling her vest top upwards, and sliding her bra higher. She then took each of Hermione's rosy nipples into her mouth in turn, wrapping her lips around them and sucking in such an erotic way that Hermione felt like she was about to orgasm already.

Bellatrix followed this by pushing a couple of fingers into Hermione and thrust into her over and over again, her teeth scraping along Hermione's neck as she did so. The position Hermione lay in afforded Bellatrix contact with her own clit, and each time she rocked against Hermione, she was rubbing against herself too. Enthralled by the view, Hermione watched as her lover pumped into her, forcing her eyes to stay open so that she could continue to focus on Bellatrix. There was something unbelievably satisfying about watching the raven haired beauty when she was in the throes of passion, and it intensified her feelings to the extent where she felt as though she was going to go out of her mind with pleasure.

It wasn't long before Hermione came, crying out loudly. Bellatrix soon had her own release, and breathing hard, she slumped against Hermione, the vast amount of curls on her head falling around Hermione's bare chest and torso area. Affectionately, Hermione stroked her head, knowing that Bellatrix was too busy catching her breath to force her to stop. She loved the immediate aftermath of being intimate with Bellatrix, purely for the opportunity to caress her in a way that she didn't usually do. Bellatrix always enjoyed it when Hermione touched her lovingly, but she was too stubborn to admit that occasionally, there was nothing wrong with her being shown a little tenderness.

After several minutes of silence, Hermione said dryly, "As good as that was, it would have been way better if you'd taken your clothes off."

"You didn't take yours off either," Bellatrix retaliated. "Letting me pull your clothes aside doesn't mean you're not still wearing them!"

Hermione laughed. "You have an answer for everything, don't you?"

"I could say the same about you," Bellatrix muttered into Hermione's skin, just loud enough for her to hear.

Still grinning, Hermione ignored her. She could deal with Bellatrix's derision when it remained at this level, knowing that it was just the way she was. It was much tamer these days anyhow, and so it didn't bother her anywhere near as much as it did previously. It was just part of Bellatrix's personality and something that Hermione would have to accept fully if she was going to be in a relationship with the raven haired witch.

Rising up, Bellatrix stood slowly, holding out a hand to drag Hermione upwards too. Obliging, Hermione took hold of her, and picking up the letter to Ron, she allowed Bellatrix to vanish the umbrella and lead her back into the manor. She was aware that it was time to send the letter to Ron, and so together they walked up to the tower room in which Amber (the newly named owl) lived peacefully. Aware that Bellatrix would be watching her every move for any sign of hesitation in sending the letter, Hermione was careful to keep her face impassive and free of emotion. With steady hands, she tied the rolled up letter to the leg of Amber and after smoothing the young owl, she send her on her way. Crookshanks bounded into the room just as Amber flew off, and he watched through the window, miaowing what Hermione assumed was his own way of saying goodbye. When she disappeared from sight, he slinked straight back out of the room, probably to venture into the garden to chase the birds he had spotted in the sky.

"There," Hermione said confidently. "All over."

"Is it?" Bellatrix replied hesitantly. It was one of those rare tones of voices she used when she sounded utterly unsure of herself. Hermione realised that she was terrified of their relationship ending, because she didn't seem to believe that it was possible for Hermione to love her forever. Or at least, that was the conclusion that Hermione had come to.

"Yes," Hermione said firmly, determined to drum it into Bellatrix's head that she would always be there for her. "There's no more need for you to worry about Ron... he's just a part of my history now, unless he is willing to only be a friend to me."

Remaining silent, Bellatrix still looked apprehensive and as though she couldn't quite make herself believe Hermione.

"Really," Hermione insisted. "Bella, practice Legilimency on me now, and you'll see that I'm telling you the truth. I promise you."

Searching her eyes, Bellatrix did as she was invited to do. Hermione kept her mind open, her eyes locked on Bellatrix's, granting her the permission to see into her mind and know that she wasn't lying or stretching the truth at all. After a few moments, Bellatrix was seemingly satisfied that Hermione was being honest with her, and she relaxed slightly.

"Told you," Hermione said, giving her lover a small smile. Gently, she kissed Bellatrix on the lips, pushing her way into Bellatrix's mouth and turning the conversation into yet another intense kissing session instead.

When they broke apart, Bellatrix whispered, "I have a proposal for you, little babe."

"Oh?" Hermione asked, genuinely intrigued.

Bellatrix stared straight into her eyes, intensifying the connection between them. "I think we should start looking for your parents next week. That gives us enough time to prepare, and then we should find them within a few days, if all goes to plan."

Hermione swallowed, feeling choked up. It was one thing for Bellatrix to go along with her finding her mother and father once again, but for her to actually suggest it was something that Hermione had never expected. She had thought Bellatrix would feel awkward trying to find two Muggles that were of no benefit to her whatsoever, but apparently, Bellatrix was willing to put aside any potential discomfort for the sake of Hermione. Moreover, the fact that she had stated they would be found within a few days gave Hermione hope. There was no way that Bellatrix would make such a statement if she didn't truly intend on making it come true. It was probably one of the most selfless acts she would ever commit in her life, and from Hermione's point of view it would go a long way towards proving how much she had changed. _If that's not love, I don't know what is._

She tried to stop herself from crying, knowing that Bellatrix wasn't exactly fond of her tears when she was upset, let alone because she was happy. Managing a simple nod, she bit her tongue in a desperate attempt to control her emotions. It was enough of a miracle that Bellatrix had become as human as she was presently, but to expect an entire personality transplant was unrealistic to say the least. Finally, Hermione could see the lengths Bellatrix had gone to, and the promises she had made proved the extent of her feelings. In moments of weakness and confusion Hermione failed to see that, but if anything, the suggestion of Bellatrix's that they should begin looking for her parents should alleviate her future fears entirely.

"I'll give you a moment alone," Bellatrix stated awkwardly, having observed Hermione's expression and coming to the conclusion that she was beginning to get emotional.

"N-no," Hermione said shakily, with a small smile. "I'm f-fine."

Bellatrix looked as though she didn't believe her at all, and raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes," Hermione said, voice no longer trembling as she managed to control herself a little better. Explaining her reaction, she revealed, "I'm just... happy I suppose. Once we find my parents and bring them back home then I'll feel more like the way I used to. It's going to be nice to have my family back together, and not completely oblivious to my existence."

Bellatrix looked uncomfortable for a split second like she was thinking something but didn't want to say it aloud. It was one of those rare expressions that Hermione hardly ever got to see, as more often than not Bellatrix was guarded to the extent that she was sealed off from everyone. Since the war had ended she was more relaxed and generally happier than she had been during it, but when it came to doubts and fears she still kept them behind closed doors and wouldn't discuss her worries with anyone. Sometimes, Hermione wondered if maybe she went to Lemmy, judging by things the elf had said Bellatrix had confessed to her in the past, but even so, it was probably still extremely limited information that Bellatrix gave.

Unable to ignore it, Hermione chose to confront Bellatrix. "What is it?"

Surprisingly, Bellatrix didn't lie and say it was nothing. If anything, she looked relieved at being called on her troubled expression as she said tentatively, "What do you think your parents will say when they find out about us?"

Hermione shrugged. "They're not homophobic... I'm apprehensive about telling them of course, but I think it'll be ok. I hope, anyway." If anything, she was most concerned about their reaction when they discovered the age gap between herself and Bellatrix. She had considered lying and knocking off ten years or so to soften the blow, knowing she would probably get away with it at first, but she wasn't sure how that would work in the long run. There was no need for Bellatrix to get herself worked up over that for the moment though; it was for Hermione to deal with the issue, and she would tell Bellatrix how she wanted to handle it closer to when the time was right.

"Yes, but what will they think about you dating a witch?" Bellatrix said impatiently.

Frowning, Hermione took a few seconds to consider what Bellatrix meant. When she was still met with blank thoughts, she asked for clarification. "I really don't know what you mean. Can you explain?"

"Well, would they rather that you marry a Muggle?" Bellatrix asked.

"Of course not!" Hermione exclaimed. "Why would you think that?"

Now, Bellatrix looked confused. "I didn't think Muggles were very accepting of our world in general. I mean, obviously there _are_ a few exceptions but don't many of them disown their child if they discover they're a wizard or witch?"

Hermione shook her head. "No. No, my parents are proud of me, just like most other Muggle parents are proud. Of course there are always a few that reject the world, but they're few and far between I'd imagine. I haven't heard of anyone with parents like that."

She was starting to understand what was going through Bellatrix's head, but she didn't know how best to approach it. The easiest solution would be for Bellatrix to willingly disclose the reason for her beliefs herself without any intervention from Hermione, but that was unlikely to happen. All that Hermione could do for the moment was to continue to discuss the subject with Bellatrix and hope that it came up somehow.

Fortunately, it did as Bellatrix opened her mouth once more. "That is what the Dark Lord informed us; are you sure you're right?"

"Yes," Hermione said, annoyed not at Bellatrix, but at the false ideas Voldemort had placed in his Death Eaters' heads. Admittedly it was clever; if you were taught to hate somebody because they hated you first, then it seemed more justifiable and would allow his followers to sleep easier at night. Moreover, pure-bloods like Bellatrix who had never been exposed to the Muggle world would take it for granted that what they were being told was true, even if it was a pack of lies. How would she ever have discovered the truth if it wasn't for Semper Amor and Hermione? Bellatrix would have spent the rest of her life believing false information such as this and more. _Even worse than this!_

When Bellatrix still hadn't said anything, Hermione added, "My parents love me, Bella. They're good people. Even though they can't tell their Muggle friends about the fact that I'm a witch, they're always telling them whenever I get high marks or... or do well at something. They just adapt what it is I've done well at when talking about me, but they love me the way I am."

"That must be nice," Bellatrix said, and for the teeniest moment, she looked awed.

"You know, the offer I made you before still stands. If you want me to teach you about Muggles then I'd be happy to. They're not a threat to us. There are bad Muggles, sure, but it's like the wizarding world; there are good witches and wizards, and bad witches and wizards," Hermione said slowly.

"Which category do I fall into?" Bellatrix asked with a smirk, breaking some of the tension. It was a sign that she was feeling self-conscious, which Hermione could appreciate entirely. She decided to carry on with the conversation and see where it took them, but not to put too much pressure on Bellatrix should she begin to close off.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You're in an entire category of your own, gorgeous. I don't think there's anyone else like you."

Bellatrix laughed. "I know you meant that as an insult, but I'm choosing to take it as a compliment."

Smiling back, Hermione replied, "So... do you want me to teach you more about the Muggle world?"

For a few moments, Bellatrix remained silent, mulling over Hermione's offer judging by the thoughtful expression on her face. She looked as though she really was debating Hermione's proposal, and eventually, she said, "No. No... I don't want you to teach me about the Muggle world as such. I want you to teach me about you and your family though. You know much about mine, and I know barely anything about yours."

Although she'd never really considered it before, Hermione realised that the raven haired witch spoke the truth. She knew a great deal about Bellatrix considering she had known Sirius, had gone to school with Draco (ok so they spent most of their time arguing, but one did hear certain snippets...) and had heard the Weasleys mention the odd thing or two about The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Granted, she didn't know a great deal about Bellatrix's parents, but from what she had discovered so far, that was an extremely touchy subject for Bellatrix. Nevertheless, Hermione wasn't going to put pressure on her to discuss anything that she didn't want to, because as it was Bellatrix was going to be busy enough with the Malfoys and Andromeda for the time being. Anyhow, although Hermione knew a lot of random information about Bellatrix, there was very little that Bellatrix had disclosed about her own life that explained the challenges she had faced.

Formulating the best reply she could think of on the spot, Hermione said, "Well I've already told you my parents are dentists, which I know you don't understand, but I'll let them explain it to you when you meet because they'll do a better job of telling you, I'm sure. But as far as personalities go, I'm more like my mum. She's determined, strong-willed, and well... bossy like me I suppose," she smiled, having the good grace to blush too. "My dad is a huge softy. I'm an only child so he absolutely adores me and spoils me rotten. It was harder for him to let go than my mum when I went to Hogwarts because he was used to spending a lot of time with me. But they're both brilliant... I couldn't ask for better parents."

"You're lucky. And _loved. _I didn't really have that growing up," Bellatrix said, sounding slightly envious. "But no matter. My parents are six feet under and I eventually got used to not having much affection. In hindsight that's probably partially why Andromeda found it so easy to leave and Narcissa is so loving towards Draco. Andromeda didn't want to turn out the same as our parents and Cissy has spent her whole life proving she's entirely different."

Although Hermione didn't want to push Bellatrix to keep talking about issues that evidently affected her deeply, she didn't want to let the moment pass without comment either. Wrapping her arms around Bellatrix, she kissed her lightly on the cheek, bringing her mouth towards her lover's ear. She spoke quietly, knowing then she would be less likely to force Bellatrix's defences up, and whispered, "You don't have to worry about not having enough love anymore. I can't change what happened then but now, you have me. I'm always here Bella. It doesn't make you weak to need or want a hug or a kiss; it's natural." Reinforcing her words, she pulled Bellatrix closer, her lover's head buried against her neck.

They stood there for what felt like hours to Hermione, but in reality probably wasn't much more than five minutes. For the entire time they were silent, until pulling away, Bellatrix wondered aloud, "I don't even know how we've ended up like this. How did we even begin?"

"You captured me," Hermione said, but somehow, the thought of what Bellatrix had done didn't hurt her as much as it should. It wasn't exactly the nicest way to begin a relationship, but it was what it was. No longer did Hermione hold a grudge against Bellatrix because of the cruel torture she had handed out against her, because those memories were irrelevant. It was the injuries Bellatrix had caused her after they had formed a relationship that had always bothered her the most, and they were working through that particular problem.

"You captured me back," Bellatrix said. "In all the ways that it matters, Hermione." She smiled.

Hermione smiled too. Together, they worked. Together, they loved each other. _Impossible._

* * *

_~Fin~_


End file.
